Where Dwell the Brave at Heart
by qwertybob
Summary: Voldemort's rise to power is ever-growing, as Lily and James deal with responsibilities, relationships and risky encounters that come with their seventh year at Hogwarts. Snape is falling deeper into the Dark Arts, with friends like Regulus Black and Mulciber to keep him company. How will Lily and James adjust to the new dark world that is infiltrating even Hogwarts' safe walls?
1. Chapter 1: Explosives

**1: Explosions**

Lily tensed as Potter reached his long arm towards her and touched her shoulder.

"Got a little something on your uniform, Lily," he said, picking up the invisible lint and flicking it away. "Our Head Girl can't be going around in that sort of state, now can she?" he said, winking and tapping the badge on her chest with a satisfying _clink clink_. "Bad form."

She crossed her arms over her chest, flicking his finger away as easily as he had flicked off the lint from his. "Don't trouble yourself with my appearance, Potter. Worry about your own," she said, looking him once up and down, and realizing sadly that he looked pristine. She huffed to herself and turned away.

"I'm just trying to be helpful, Lily," he said with an easy laugh. "Isn't that what Co-Heads are for?"

"What's this 'Lily' business you're playing at, anyhow? Since when have I been 'Lily' to you, Potter?" She made air-quotations around her name is if it was something foreign to her.

She turned around again to look at his face, but it betrayed nothing. Instead, he shrugged carelessly as if discussing the possibility of it raining this weekend. "Thought it was time for a change."

She glared at him. "What kind of change?" she asked suspiciously.

Potter sighed dramatically, ruffling up his hair, making Lily's fingers itch. "Like I said before, we're Co-Heads now, aren't we? Shouldn't we be at least on a first name basis?"

She scoffed. "Don't mess with me, Potter. There's something else happening here and I want to know what. You've never had an interest in being first name basis before, so what's the point in changing now?" she said, almost giving in to the urge to point an accusing finger at him, but resisting the childish action. Instead, she stuck him with a menacing glare, which was far less satisfying as wagging a finger in his face.

He turned his head and looked out the window of their shared Heads Common Room.

She was expecting some sort of sly comment about the length of her skirt, or something else equally inappropriate, but instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned his back to her. He looked moody, a strange expression passing over his face. It caught her off guard and she let her wall inch down. Could it be like that time when…?

He turned around, and almost immediately, Lily regretted her moment of weakness. His face was masked with that grin of his that made her heart rate increase—out of attraction or rage, she wasn't sure—and said, arrogantly, "If you really hate it, just one peck and it will be back to 'Evans' permanently, I promise," he said with a wink and an extended hand.

"Ugh," she groaned, slamming the door shut to her room with the sound of his laughs echoing in her head.

Why did she always have to fall for his tricks? There had been moments like that before, when she believed he was being a more 'real' Potter than his regular, obnoxious self, but it would be gone within a second, replaced with his ridiculous teasing. It was so frustrating because she thought that maybe he could be someone she could be friends with, but he covered it up with all this false bravado that had her clawing her eyes out instead.

Lily sat on her bed and thought back to King's Cross Station on the last day of fifth year when he had approached her and apologized for the scene he'd caused after the Defense O.W.L. He had looked almost vulnerable standing in front of her, thumbs in his pockets and hair standing on end. She was about to start yelling again, but his timid smile had stopped her from opening her mouth and instead she just listened, which was new for both of them.

"Evans, I'm just here to say I'm sorry," he said with that same timid half-smile, half-grimace. She had no reaction because she had no previous encounters with this James Potter. "For, you know, Sniv—Snape. I didn't mean to gaud him like that, and I'm sorry for pushing him to call you a—that word. It was wrong of me and I apologize," he finished with a hesitant readjustment of his glasses.

All she could do was nod numbly as he smiled again, without a hint of impending prank anxiousness, and waved briefly. "Have a good summer then, yeah? See you in the fall."

Lily couldn't deny that her summer had been tainted with a flicker of hope for the end of his constant teasing and flirting, and that maybe she could replace the spot Sev had left with something a bit different than her current ring of friends.

That hope was squished like a mere ember under a heavy boot as soon as she arrived on the platform the first day of sixth year. The entire length of the train bore a terrifying banner that made Lily's heart twist and scream. The words read, "Evans, Hogsmeade?" with James Potter's face winking at her, both in person and in moving-picture form. She had been mortified because of that humiliating poster, but also because she had fostered the naïve hope that maybe he had changed. She had masked her anger and hurt like a pro however, and maintained that mask of indifference and coolness until she reached the train's bathroom and stayed there until her tears would no longer come.

She sighed, thinking back on that day and how she refused to never again underestimate Potter's potential for cruelty, despite those moments where she thought there was a glimmer of goodness in him.

He was so infuriating that Lily had forgotten the main reason why she had called him out there in the first place. She took a deep breath and gathered all the patience and strength she had in her, left her room and knocked on his door.

"Potter, I forgot to say that we have a—"

Potter opened the door wearing nothing but his trousers and a grin of confidence as Lily paused to examine the scene in front of her. She had seen Potter without a shirt before (as he was keen on stripping his shirt after winning a Quidditch match), but never up close, which was very shocking. He was muscled, but lean, and quite frankly, very attractive.

"Try not to stare, Evans. It's rude," he said, his eyebrow rising suggestively at her. He leaned very casually on the doorframe and Lily found herself momentarily distracted.

Lily blushed, but tried to maintain her dignity. "We have a meeting with Dumbledore at 8. Don't be late," she said, turning to walk away. "Oh, and you have something on your shoulder," she added, reaching up to place her fingers on his shoulder and swiping the invisible dirt away. Potter looked at her in surprise. She grinned at him, then dragged her fingers down his chest, tapping lightly where his badge would have been, had he been wearing his robes. "Can't have our Head Boy looking anything less than perfect, can we?" she said, laughing lightly at his expression and walking back to her room.

Lily hid in her room, not knowing how she could ever face anyone again after what she had just pulled. Never in her life had she done anything so—so _flirtatious_ with James Potter; it was as if someone else had temporarily taken over her mind and mouth. She didn't know how well this year would turn out if there was someone backseat-driving her actions. She pulled on her hair and looked at the clock. _7:43_. Ugh.

She went out to the Common Room and found James sitting on the couch reading a book. He didn't notice her come in so she just stood in the hallway and watched him. His hand came up slowly and rubbed the back of his head, and Lily realized that, yes, James Potter would be quite easy to like if he weren't so covered up. _Metaphorically_, Lily thought to herself, _I meant metaphorically. Obviously, he would have to be wearing clothes. Or, you know—no, I meant metaphorically and personality-wise 'covered up'. He was emotionally unavailable._

Lily cleared her throat and James turned his head with a small smile. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just got here. Come on. Dumbledore's meeting," she said, walking past him and moving to open the door. "After you."

He smirked and walked through the door she held open.

"Did he say what he wanted?" he asked as they walked through the hallway to Dumbledore's office.

She shook her head. "Well it's been a week since term started. I'm assuming he wants to remind us of our duties."

"So did you have a good summer then?" he asked suddenly.

Lily turned her head in his direction with a confused expression at his abrupt change in conversation.

"Why?"

He laughed, putting on that false grin again. "I'm just trying to be friendly."

She rolled her eyes. "It was fine, how was yours?"

"Why?" he mocked. She glared. "It was fine, too."

"Great."

They fell silent for the next couple minutes, neither one particularly comfortable, but neither one too uncomfortable to break it.

"Aren't you going to ask me how I made Head Boy?"

She shrugged. "It's not that surprising," she admitted, although everyone else besides his friends seemed to be shocked at the appointment.

"It's not?" he said, a similar look on his face from earlier when Lily had teased him. She blushed at the freshness of the memory.

"Not really."

"Can I ask why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fishing, Potter?"

"No," he said, unconvincingly. "Just curious why you, of all people, are not surprised by Dumbledore's choice."

"And what is that supposed to mean? _You, of all people_?"

He shrugged this time. "You aren't exactly my greatest fan. Shouldn't you be surprised I was made Head Boy over, say Remus, or Diggory, even?"

She laughed. "Diggory as Head Boy? Don't make jokes like that, they're really not funny."

He smiled. "Why, Lily, if I'm not mistaken, I think that sounded a bit like a snide remark."

She shook her head. "Just the truth. He would make a terrible Head Boy."

"So what differentiates him and me, then?"

"I never said you wouldn't be a terrible Head Boy, just that I wasn't surprised by your appointment."

"Care to expand?" he drawled, seeming unaffected by her sly insult.

"Teachers love you, you have high grades, you're respected by your peers. Typical Head Boy material."

"Still doesn't differentiate me from Diggory or Remus."

"So you are fishing for compliments then."

"Never. Just curiosity, as I said."

"We're here," she said, grateful for the opportunity not to answer him. "_Acid pops_."

They made their way up the staircase and Lily knocked on the door.

"Enter," said Dumbledore's voice from inside.

Lily had been in his office once before, but it still amazed her at the absolute mess, yet still organized, state of the Headmasters office. She strived to attain the balance between chaos and order in her own life, but thought she was perpetually leaning more towards the chaotic end.

"Ah, Miss Evans and Mr. Potter. Please have a seat. Thank you for being prompt."

They sat down and listened to all the formalities Dumbledore went through, hearing this all before from McGonagall and the previous Heads.

"How are you two faring with one another? No fighting, I hope," Dumbledore asked, a knowing glint in his eyes that made Lily squirm.

"Swimmingly, Professor," James responded with his trademark-speaking-to-Professor smile. If Dumbledore could smirk, he would be right now. Lily wanted to roll her eyes, but resisted, as it would come off as unprofessional and ungrateful.

Instead, Lily gave her own version of his smile and added in a pleasant laugh. "It's going very well, Professor. Much better than expected."

"Glad to hear it. It wouldn't bode well for the school if our Heads weren't getting along. We've had those sorts of problems in the past, but most of them ended up married to each other! What a situation, don't you agree?" said Dumbledore, standing from his desk with his arms spread wide.

Lily wondered if Dumbledore wasn't a little crazy.

"You are both dismissed. Thank you for taking the time from your schedule to meet with me. I'm sure you've both been lectured quite enough since you've gotten here."

They left Dumbledore's office together and unfortunately for Lily, walked back to their dorm area together.

"You never answered the question," he said after leaving the vicinity of Dumbledore's office.

"Which question?"

"Of why you're not surprised," he said, smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "Didn't I?"

"You think you did, but that was just a superficial answer. I know there's more to it than you said," he said, walking away from her.

"Where are you going?" she asked, sounding more irritated than she intended.

"Gryffindor Common Room. Care to join?" he asked pleasantly.

She had only gone to the Gryffindor Tower maybe twice since she got here, and she had felt guilty that she had only seen Mary and Alice in classes, but she shook her head. "No, thanks," she said, walking away to the Heads' dorms.

"Suit yourself," he said, walking up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower.

.

"James, is that you?" said Sirius' voice when he entered the room. "Couldn't recognize you with your badge on," he said snidely as James walked over to his friends on the armchairs.

"Shut up, Sirius, not really in the mood," he said, throwing himself in a seat and closing his eyes. Lily Evans was draining the life out of him and he had no idea how he was going to live through his year.

"What's up, Prongs?" Peter asked.

"Lily?" Remus asked, peeking his eyes up from behind the book he was reading.

"She's driving me crazy," he said, thinking back to when she had touched his bare chest with that impish smile. He'd nearly catapulted himself at her in that moment, but he had resisted with all the strength he had in his body. She was purposely teasing him and making him lose his mind. He hadn't even been able to focus on what Dumbledore had been saying the entire time until he asked how they were getting along.

"Good-crazy though, right?" Peter asked.

"There's no such thing, Pete," James said, opening an eye to his small friend. "There's only bad-crazy."

"Wrong, Prongs," said Sirius. "There's _my-family_ crazy, which is the bad, _do-what-I-say-or-I'll-disown_-you crazy, then there is the good-ish-crazy feeling accompanied with sexual frustration—"

"Shut _up_, Sirius," James said, closing his eyes again and massaging his temples.

Sirius laughed. "That's what Peter meant by the 'good' crazy. Right, Wormy?"

"Sure," said Peter.

"Just work through it, James. I'm sure it'll get better," Remus supplied as neutrally as Remus was known to do.

James didn't answer, but he was highly doubtful. He had first thought that living with her might make her change her attitude towards him, but now he was doubting that that would happen before he spontaneously combusted. Everything she did had him constantly on edge, so much so that he was instantly aware of whenever she walked into a room.

Like right before they'd left for Dumbledore's office, he'd noticed when she'd first entered the room and when she had actually cleared her throat, claiming to have just arrived. She'd lied, but why? It was moments like those that James hoped, but then would toss aside as soon as she made those snarky remarks again, with that impenetrable mask of hers.

"Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked, tossing the book on his lap aside and standing.

Peter stood and so did Remus, leaving James sitting on his armchair. They all looked at him expectantly. James looked at Remus uncertainly, who nodded in understanding, and James stood. "Fine."

"Merlin, I thought you'd been scared straight there, for a second," said Sirius, clapping James on the shoulder. "Is she that terrifying?"

"It's not 'cause of her, Padfoot."

"Right. It's because of the other shrew you're living with."

"She's not a shrew," Remus said tiredly. At least James wasn't the only one who thought that.

"Whatever, Moony. She'll always be a shrew in my eyes."

"A hot shrew, though," said Peter. James whacked him upside the head. "Ow." Again, James wasn't alone in his thinking.

"Can we just talk about something else, please," said James, checking the map before opening the statue. "I spend enough time with Lily already, I don't want to spend my time away from her talking about her too, you know?"

"Whatever you say, Head Boy," said Sirius, saluting him.

"Er, have you finished the Potions assignment yet, James?" Remus asked him.

"Seriously, that's the best you can come up with?" he asked, leading them through the dark tunnel.

"You know that's all Remus thinks about," Sirius answered behind him. "Even when he's sleeping."

"It's not," attempted Remus, but not convincingly. "But it _is_ due in two days."

"Don't ruin the moment, Moony. It's our first outing to Hogsmeade since James' tainting by the badge. It's a time for celebrating, not for homework due dates."

"And tomorrow night won't be the time to come running to me for help either."

"Moment officially ruined, Remus."

"Shut up, both of you. We're here," said James, pushing up the floorboard into Honeydukes' basement.

They quickly made their ways to the Three Broomsticks and Rosmerta _tsk-_ed them as they sat down.

"On a weekday, lads?" she said, smiling despite herself at the four boys. "Butterbeers all round?"

"Something stronger, maybe?"

"Firewhiskeys, it is."

"Butterbeer is fine for me," Remus replied. "I have to finish my paper tonight," he added, to which Sirius rolled his eyes.

Rosmerta left to get their drinks as Sirius and Pete chatted pointlessly about Quidditch.

"Remus, were you surprised I made Head Boy?" James asked.

Remus looked surprised by his question, then smiled. "No."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Makes sense."

James frowned. "Please elaborate."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You can be an ass sometimes, but you're still a good leader. Dumbledore needs someone who people are willing to follow and especially with You-Know-Who, he needs someone that can be trusted to do what was best for the school."

"And I'm that person, then?"

"You're getting there," Remus said, taking a sip of his drink that Rosmerta had just brought them.

"Do you think Lily thinks that too?"

"Why don't you ask?"

"I did. She wouldn't give me a straight answer."

Remus shrugged. "Don't know, mate. Thought you didn't want to talk about Lily, anyway."

"I don't."

They had a couple more rounds until Remus was the only one sober enough to guide them back through the hidden passage. They parted at the fifth floor, where James went to his dorm and the rest went up to Gryffindor Tower.

James stumbled into the Common Room, saw that Lily's light was still on, then went to his own room and fell asleep as soon as he fell on the bed.

.

She heard James come in around ten to midnight and breathed a sigh of relief, then immediately wondered why she had been worried in the first place. It wasn't her job to account for his safety, nor did she want it. He'd probably been out to Hogsmeade with the Marauders, as she had learned from Rosmerta last year, occurred quite frequently. She had no idea how they were doing it, but she never asked, liking that she knew something about him that he didn't know she knew.

She finished the last line of her paper and turned out the light, changing into her pajamas and climbing into bed. She wrapped the blankets around her and fell asleep with the image of shirtless-James standing in his doorway plaguing her thoughts.

She woke up the next morning and got ready as usual. Class started in 15 minutes, but James was still not awake. She knocked on his door.

"Potter, class starts in 15!" she yelled, not knowing why she was even bothering. Like she said before, she wasn't his keeper.

He opened the door after Lily's excessive knocking, wearing only his boxers, his eyes half closed and no glasses. "What?" he said, sleepily.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Class starts in 15 minutes. You're going to be late."

"Oh, right, thanks," he said, with a groggy smile and closed the door. Lily smiled to herself, then immediately shook it away, not knowing what was coming over her.

She sat with Mary and Alice in class, and surprisingly, Potter came in on time, looking his usual perfect self despite waking up 15 minutes prior. She envied him.

"Saw James in Gryffindor Tower last night," Mary whispered as he walked in. "Why didn't you come?"

"I was beat, and I had to finish Slughorn's paper," she said, watching as he sat down with Black and laughed perfectly. "Did he stay there long?"

"No, the four of them left almost as soon as he arrived. Don't know where they went though."

So, Hogsmeade it was then. "I'll come by tonight," she said, smiling at her friend and focusing as Slughorn addressed the class.

Severus, her former best friend, slinked into class late and Lily avoided his usual gaze. She hadn't spoken to him since the summer after fifth year, but it still hurt to think about it. She put on her brave face and looked past him as he sat down behind her.

Slughorn frowned at Sev's back, but continued his lecture. Just as he was about to write the textbook pages on the chalkboard, there was a huge _bang_ from the hallway, and the door exploded inward, letting in a fume of smoke. Mary screamed from beside her as Lily dashed forward to help Professor Slughorn up from the ground where he had fallen due to the force of the explosion. She glanced up and found Potter moving towards her, then another _bang_ as the second explosion came. The force of it pushed Lily to the ground next to Slughorn and a fresh cloud of foul-smelling dark smoke engulfed her, displacing the air in her lungs with the unbreathable smog. Her eyes were watering and she was coughing with Slughorn, who was on all fours.

"Lily!" said Potter's voice from the cloud of smoke above her. "You okay?" he said blasting a stream of air through the cloud and giving her a fresh gulp of air that she used to shout at him, "Help Slughorn!" as she jumped up from the ground and ran head first into the hallway, using James' spell to clear a path in front of her.

.

James swore as Lily ran into the hallway. That girl would be the death of him, he knew it. He helped the Professor to his feet, cleared the room the best he could and followed Lily out into the dungeons. He couldn't see her, but he could see where she'd been with the stream of clean air forming a path in front of him. He followed it until he found the source of the explosion, with Lily standing with her wand pointed at the two figures on the ground.

"They're out cold," she called back to him, as he approached, clearing the air as he went.

"Who is it?"

"Looks like Avery and Black," she said, procuring stretchers and levitating them onto it. "Mind bringing that to Pomfrey?" she said, pointing to the cauldrons that had caused the explosion, still smoking, and emitting the smell of rotting beetles and the burnt inside of dying animals. He levitated them beside Avery and Reg, following her out of the smoke and up to the Hospital Wing.

"What happened?!" Filch screeched, pacing at the border of the smoke cloud and the clean air.

"Mr. Filch, we have the ones responsible and we're taking them to the Hospital Wing. If you could be so kind as to get Professor Dumbledore and tell him that James Potter and Lily Evans have brought Regulus Black and Thomas Avery to Madam Pomfrey, it would be very much appreciated."

Filch stared at Lily incredulously, then turned his ugly glare to James. "You!" he screamed.

"I'm innocent," James said, raising his free hand. Filch glared and hissed, Mrs. Norris at his heels and stalked off in the direction of Dumbledore's office.

James watched Lily, and was surprised to see that her wand hand was as still as a lake at night. He peeked a look at her face. It was set in a calm manner, her lips forming a straight, unmoving line across her face, her eyebrows puckered slightly, her fierce eyes turned forward. James gulped.

"Hey, watch it!" she said, as one of the cauldrons bumped into Avery's stretcher and almost caused Lily to drop him.

"Sorry," said James, giving her a grin. "Distracted."

She glared and looked forward. "By what?"

"Smoke in my eyes."

She turned back to look at him skeptically, and he gave her a sheepish grin, making sure the cauldron stayed steady this time.

"What's happened?" Pomfrey said when they entered the Wing. "I heard an explosion—"

"It was caused by these two," Lily said, expertly placing each culprit on empty beds. James placed the cauldrons on the side table in between them.

"They were playing with this little potion here, it seems," James added.

Pomfrey huffed in frustration and began her work. "And Professor Slughorn asked you two to bring them here out of class—"

"They aren't in our Potions class, Madam Pomfrey."

"Excuse me? Aren't in your Potions class? Then what on Earth are they doing with a cauldron? Irresponsible—"

"Madam Pomfrey," said Dumbledore's firm voice from the Wing. "What has happened?" he said, turning his attention to the bedded students. "Mr. Filch has informed me that James Potter has been involved in some sort of incident—"

James scoffed.

"Regulus Black and Thomas Avery were the ones found with the cauldrons that caused the explosion, Professor," Lily said. "James was helping to bring them here," she said.

"I see," said Dumbledore, moving past the Head students to inspect the cauldrons in between their beds. "Hm. I don't believe they are in the N.E.W.T. Potions class?" Dumbledore asked them. Lily shook her head. "Well, thank you, Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter. You may return to your class now. I've sent Professors Flitwick and McGonagall to help with the cleanup in the dungeons, so classes will be proceeding as usual. Thank you," he said, turning his back. Lily and James were dismissed.

.

They walked back in the general direction of the dungeons together, without saying a word.

"Whoa," said Lily, putting a hand to her head and another out to steady herself.

"All right?" Potter asked, grabbing her arm.

"Didn't know Hogwarts had moving floors too," she said, closing her eyes. James laughed and quickly magicked a chair for her to sit on. She sat down and put her head in her hands.

"That's what you call an adrenaline rush, then crash," he said from somewhere beside her. Lily's entire body felt weak, so she didn't look up to check where his voice was coming from.

"Ah," she said, taking deep breaths. "I feel like I'm going to faint."

"Do you want to go back to Pomfrey?"

"No, I'll be fine in a second, just…"

She kept taking deep breaths and James laughed.

"This is funny to you, eh?" she said, irritated that she was falling apart in front of him.

"No, sorry. Just glad to know you're human, is all," he said, magicking his own chair and sitting beside her.

"What do you mean?" she said, offended and looking up at him, his form a perfect picture of self-assuredness beside her.

"Not in a bad way. What I meant was, you were so calm earlier, I thought you were some sort of superhuman who couldn't feel any emotion."

"Wow, thanks," she said, returning her head to her hands. "What about you? You weren't exactly shrieking in fear either."

He shrugged. "I'm used to the adrenaline rush. Quidditch, remember? But, I've never seen _you_ in any sort of stressful situation like that. I was surprised by your reaction."

"I was just doing what a Head Girl should," she said, muffled slightly by her hands.

"Which is why Dumbledore picked you. As for his reasons for picking me—"

"Oh, don't start, Potter," she said, sighing and lifting her head. "Not now, of all times."

He laughed. "Here," he said, giving her a glass of water he had procured. "Drink."

She took the glass with a small smile and drank the entire thing. "Thanks," she said, wiping her mouth. "I don't feel like going back to class now. Mary is going to be a complete mess—"

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Lily Evans?" he asked, with a surprised grin on his face. She stood from her seat—a comfortable armchair from Gryffindor Tower—and it vanished with a flick of her wand. James did the same with his.

"I'm not suggesting anything, Potter."

He sighed dramatically. "Back to Potter, are we?"

"Pardon?"

"You called me James earlier. Thought I was dreaming."

"I did not—"

"Yes, you did. In front of Dumbledore."

"Oh, well then that was because we're supposed to be getting along, remember? If I called you Potter in front of him, it wouldn't exactly seem like we're friends, now would it?" she said, walking towards the dungeons. She could still smell the terrible odor of the explosion smoke, but she wasn't sure if it was the actual smoke, or simply her memory.

"Right," he said, disbelievingly. "Whatever you say, Evans."

She scowled at him and ignored the name reversion.

"So we're actually going back to class, then?" he said dejectedly.

Lily paused. She really didn't want to, but Professor Dumbledore had said that McGonagall and Flitwick were cleaning up, and they would probably notice if she and James never returned to Slughorn's class. The Slug wouldn't mind though. She doubted he would even be in the mood to teach at this point. And Mary, Lily cringed at the amount of over-theatrics she would get if she returned now. Mary would be a crying, blubbering mess, and Lily did not want to deal with that at the moment.

"Do you know how to get to the Kitchens?" she said, as Potter watched her impatiently.

"The Kitchens? Me? Preposterous."

"Both of us missed breakfast," she said, ignoring his grin and walking in the opposite direction, where she assumed the Kitchens were.

"You're going the wrong way," he said, sighing and pulling her arm downstairs.

She smiled at her success and walked beside him slowly. Her knees still didn't feel completely stable, so she grabbed the side rail for support.

"What do you think they were doing down there?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Black and Avery," she said, rolling her eyes. "The ones who caused the explosion, not 15 minutes ago? Have you forgotten already?"

"Short-term memory," James said, tapping his temple and grinning. He shrugged. "Any number of things, I reckon. But nothing pleasant. It's best to just drop it and forget it ever happened."

"My hair is going to smell terrible for the next week and I know I'll have a bruise from where I landed on the ground earlier. I'm not just going to _drop it and forget it happened._"

He shrugged again. "You're on your own then, Evans."

She huffed.

"You know, I didn't know his name was Thomas," James said, still leading them towards the Kitchens.

"Who?"

"Avery? The one who caused the explosion? Ring any bells?" he said, throwing her words back at her.

She rolled her eyes, then laughed. "I didn't either, frankly. Thomas Avery sounded right though, don't you think? And no one corrected me, so I guess that is his name."

"You mean you just made it up?"

"More or less," she said, with a careless shrug.

James laughed and stopped at the first unmoving picture she'd ever seen in Hogwarts, a bowl of fruit. He ticked the green pear, which then began to move, and laugh and transform into a door handle.

"Amazing," she said, following James through the door.

"I know I have a nice arse, Evans. No need to ogle it though. I'm not an object," he said, turning around and facing her.

She ignored his comment and greeted the house elves that gathered around her knees. They all asked what she wanted and so she ordered from the menu hastily. James did the same and they sat at the Gryffindor table as their meals appeared before them.

Their breakfast was actually pleasant, but Lily wasn't sure if it was the company, the adrenaline crash, or the food that was calming her nerves with every bite she took. James took the time to explain how the Kitchen-Great Hall system worked, but refused to tell her how he'd managed to find it in the first place.

"Secrets are secrets because they aren't told, Evans," he said, stuffing a bite of his third waffle into his mouth.

"What's done is done, Potter," she said, stressing the name. "I'm not going to reprimand you now for something in the past."

He looked skeptical. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Why wouldn't I keep it?"

He rolled his eyes, taking another bite of his breakfast. "It's in your nature to reprimand, Evans. It's like telling house elves not to serve."

"That's not true," she said, eating a grape and hiding her hurt at his statement.

"It's all you've ever done," James said. "Can't just change like that now."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "It would go against the nature of all things magical."

"That makes no sense, Potter. Magic is change itself."

"Whatever, Evans. It would be the opposite of magic then, whatever that is. Anti-magic muggles."

They stopped talking, an uncomfortable silence surrounding them as they finished eating.

"Thanks for breakfast," she said, standing and smoothing her skirt out for something for her hands to do.

"Anytime, Evans."

"What, have you switched back to Evans permanently then?" she asked as he stood.

He looked confused. "I thought first names were only for the Headmaster," he said, basically mocking her lame excuse earlier.

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm trying to be civil, Potter, but if you're just going to tease me about it—"

"Being civil, Lily?" he said, angry. "You can't even admit to calling me by my first name without cringing, never mind being _civil_."

Lily was shocked by his anger, but recovered soon enough. "Oh, like you don't have some sort of ulterior motive for being so nice to me?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You can't just pretend like the last six years didn't happen, just like you said! All those years of teasing, asking me out—"

"You think that's what this is about?!" he said with a bitter laugh. "A bloke can't even call a girl by her first name without being accused of hitting on her. Merlin, what has the world come to?" he said, shaking his hands in mock outrage.

"That's not what I meant, Potter!"

"Explain it then!"

She glared at him, breathing heavily, her pulse pounding in her head. "I knew this was going to be difficult, but I didn't think it would be impossible—"

"Who's making it impossible, Lily? You won't even call me by my first name, for Merlin's sake!" he said, storming away and leaving her with cowering house-elves and her embarrassment.

* * *

**Author's Note:** WOW, it's been awhile, eh? I started this when I was bored, and then continued adding chapters until I decided that maybe I should post it. It's looking like a long one. I haven't finished, nor do I know how or when I will finish it, but I'm planning for it. Hope you've enjoyed reading, and sorry for it to take me so long to post another story! I've missed this!

Be sure to leave a comment if you liked/didn't like it. Next chapter should be up soon. Also, if there are any typos/sentences that didn't make sense, let me know, and I'll update it.


	2. Chapter 2: Slugs and Threats

**2: Slugs and Threats **

James sat in his room, still fuming, but feeling guilty all the same. He knew he would have to apologize to her later, but he wasn't up to it at the moment. Besides, he didn't even know where she had gone.

He knew he'd overreacted and made a big deal over something small. It was stupid frankly, and he blamed it on her continued presence that was messing with his brain chemistry, making him act more rashly than he normally would.

Like skiving Transfiguration. That's probably where Lily was at the moment, and where James should be, but wasn't. He groaned, not wanting to leave his bed just to sit for an hour in McGonagall's class, especially since she was going to rip his head off for being late. He groaned again, then rolled onto his stomach. His Head Boy badge dug into his chest and he rolled onto his back in frustration. Yeah, yeah, he got the hint.

He picked up his bag from the floor and ran to Transfiguration class where McGonagall was just beginning. He skipped in with only a minor glare from Minnie, and sat with Remus. He looked over at Mary, who was still blotting her tears, but no Lily.

"Where've you been?" Remus whispered.

"I was with Lily, but…"

"Potter. Do you have the faintest idea where Ms. Evans is?" McGonagall asked, irritated.

"I don't think she's feeling well at the moment, Professor. The explosion and all," he said earnestly.

McGonagall pursed her lips, but asked no more questions as she continued on with her lesson.

"Is Lily okay?" Remus said under his breath.

"She was fine earlier. We got in a fight. Don't know where she is now."

"It's unlike her to skip class."

James nodded and only half-listened to McGonagall. Where had she gone?

Once class was thankfully over, he quickly told Remus what happened after he and Lily had left Slughorn's class, telling him not to tell Sirius that his brother had been involved, and leaving out the details of their fight.

"Do you think it's…?" Remus asked.

"We'll discuss it later. I'm going to try to find Lily."

"And apologize?"

James scowled. "How do you know it wasn't her fault?"

"If it was, you wouldn't be going to find her," Remus said with his sly werewolf grin. James rolled his eyes and waved, avoiding Sirius and Peter easily.

He went back to the Kitchens, but was quickly shooed out by the house elves preparing for lunch. Besides, she wasn't there, and he didn't think she would be. He went to the library next, realizing this was not a probable option, but the first place that popped to mind when he thought of Lily. He checked Gryffindor Common Room, and even asked a lingering third year to check Lily's old dormitory for him. She was in neither of those options. He skipped lunch, went back to the Heads' wing and knocked on her door, but she wasn't there. Where the hell did she go?

_Idiot,_ he thought to himself, running back to Gryffindor Tower to fetch the map. _Did you, or did you not become an Animagi at 15? And you can't even remember that you have your own personal tracking device. Idiot._

.

Lily leaned back with her hands on the tiled surface, swishing her feet in the warm bathwater of the Prefect bathtub. She had transfigured the bubbles into lily petals and they floated across the surface of the water like little boats. She swished her wand and made some of them collide, and watched as they were pulled down under the surface, being pushed and pulled by the water's flow, like helpless little fish.

Lily sighed and looked at the stained glass ceiling, wishing that everything could be solved with just a dip in the tub.

She was startled when suddenly the door to the bathroom opened and she'd realized she had forgotten to lock it. She thanked Merlin she hadn't actually been taking a bath, else that would have been an extremely awkward conversation.

"Lily?" said a searching voice. "Lily!" said James, emerging from behind the pillar, a hand covering his eyes as he appeared. "Are you in here?"

"James, what are you doing here?" she asked, standing hastily and getting rid of all the flower petals from the water. "You can look, I'm decent," she said, uncomfortable with his eye-covering. She would have thought he was one to peek.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere," he said, splitting his fingers apart to check before removing his hand.

"Why?" she said, drying her feet with a towel and facing him.

"I—were you about to take a bath?" he asked, distracted.

She groaned. "No."

"Because if you were, I'd be glad to join—"

"Potter!" she warned. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Sorry, I—I just came to apologize. For overreacting earlier. I don't care really what you call me. 'Potter' is better than the 'Giant Squid', or 'lecherous slime ball', or 'greasy Slytherin', or any other insulting name you can think of. 'Potter' is fine, and I'm sorry," he said, his current stance reminding her of King's Cross at the end of fifth year.

"I'm sorry, too," she said, sighing. "I know I should at least call you 'James' since we're working together, and I've been very rude. Like you said, it would be weird if things just changed, and I'm still getting used to having to talk to you everyday," she said, putting her socks and shoes back on.

"Right. Well, we were both being complete arses, so what do you say we kiss and make—" he stopped at the look on her face. "Figure of speech, Lily. Just make up, then," he finished, with that stupid smile on his face.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

"But seriously, if I interrupted your bath—"

"Bordering on strike three, Potter," Lily said in a warning tone. He laughed and guided her to the door with an outstretched arm.

"You didn't let me finish."

"Yes, that was the intention."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I would prefer not knowing, James, if that's all right with you," she said, peeking out of the door to make sure no one would catch them coming out of the Prefect bathroom together. That could have led to some devastating rumors. "You never did say how you found me," she said.

He shrugged. "Deductive reasoning."

She scoffed. "Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?"

"Who's that?" he asked with a grin. "He's that Muggle Police, or whatever they're called, isn't he? Is that supposed to be an insult?" he said, his eyebrow raising with curiosity.

"Never mind," she said, shaking her head with a wry smile.

"I told McGonagall you weren't feeling well earlier," James said as they walked through the corridors.

"Thanks," she said, dreading what kind of questions her Head of House would ask her in the next class.

"So you might want to look a bit pale the next time you see her."

"Maybe you should just offer to join my bath again and I can just think back on that when I do. I may even have the motivation to vomit at her feet," she quipped, giving him a cheeky smile. He laughed.

"I don't think you'd look pale, rather than red, Evans," he said, smiling suggestively at her as her face maddeningly turned red despite her trying to fight it.

"Don't flatter yourself," she said, walking away from him.

"Where are you going now?" he said, laughing, but exasperated as he ran to catch up with her.

"What's it to you?"

"I just spent the entire lunch period searching for you, I'm not about to just let you leave now."

She scowled at him. "I'm not your pet, James Potter."

"I never said you were."

"I'm going to my next class."

"Which is?"

She rolled her eyes. "Herbology. Which you are not in."

"Because I have better things to do with my time than re-plot plants," he said, with his own eye-roll. "Fine, I'll let you go, but I expect to see you in Charms."

"James Potter, I am not your—"

"—pet, yes I know. Have a good class!"

She grumbled as he shot her his mischievous grin and ran off in the other direction. She rolled her eyes and began walking towards the greenhouses.

As soon as she arrived, she was bombarded with questions by her classmates about what happened, and she shooed them all off, saying it was a small experiment gone wrong and that no one was harmed. They all slunk off, disappointed by her lack of embellishments.

"Are you okay, Mary?" she said with a sigh as her friend sniffled quietly beside her. Lily braced herself for the tears.

"I was so scared, you know? And then you disappeared, and I was alone—where did you go anyway? James Potter was gone after all the smoke cleared too. Were you together?" she asked, dropping the act as soon as James' name was brought up.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "We went outside to see what happened. Filch came and made us go to the Hospital Wing, but the other kids were already gone. That's all that happened. Pomfrey made me stay until lunch just to make sure I was okay," she lied, not really knowing why she felt she had to in the first place. She just knew that Mary was not the right person to tell the delicate details, otherwise they'd become common knowledge to the entire school.

"So you didn't see who caused it?"

Lily shook her head. Mary frowned, but dropped the subject.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully, except for the pounding headache that began to sneak up on her during Charms. She wondered if this was also a consequence of the adrenaline from earlier, or if it was just the result of all the constant chattering about the events going on around her. James also seemed to be keeping tight-lipped about the situation, even though no one had explicitly told them to do so. She would discuss it with him after, knowing that he hadn't been completely truthful the last time they'd talked about it. She knew he would never just _drop it and forget it_ like he had told her too.

She massaged her temples and hid in her room as soon as classes were over.

She read over her Potions paper and fixed her errors, but that was the most homework she could get through without her head splitting in half.

"Lily, are you coming to dinner?" James' voice rang through her room from their Common Room.

"Not at the moment, you go ahead," she replied and waited until she heard the door shut before closing her eyes. Maybe if she just took a small nap, her headache would go away…

She woke up and read the clock. _9:32._ Damn, she'd missed dinner. And her head was still pounding. She lifted herself from her bed and looked at her bedside table, which was more polluted than normal. There was a glass of water and a bowl of fruit there, and a note from James.

_Guess that explosion really took it out of you, huh? Told Mary you were sleeping and wouldn't be able to get to Gryffindor Tower tonight. Hope you enjoy the fruit. JP_

Lily looked at the fruit bowl and smiled at the green pear sitting on the top. She felt guilty about not seeing her friends again, but she didn't think she'd be much fun with the pain she was in right now. Maybe she should go see Pomfrey.

She drank the entire glass of water, which was surprisingly cold, and ate some of the fruit. There was a light on outside, and she wondered if James was out there. She figured she should thank him for the water and food.

She stepped out into the light and winced as her head gave another blaring blast of pain. She stopped in the hallway for a second to adjust to the light difference and told her brain to stop misbehaving.

"Lily?" said James' voice from the Common Room. "You're waking up now?" he said, laughing. "Dinner was over an hour ago…Lily?"

Lily squatted on the ground as the blood continued to pound in her veins and send rippling needles through her brain. She hid her eyes in her arms, the light making them burn like exploding stars.

"Lily, are you okay?" asked James' concerned voice. She felt his hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't open her eyes to look at him.

"What do you think, Sherlock?" she managed to get out before wincing at the pain. Sarcasm probably wasn't the best thing at the moment, especially when the recipient didn't understand the reference.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, sounding worried.

"My head…hurts," she said, feeling like a small child.

"Is there anything I can do?" he said, sounding panicked.

"Hospital Wing," she exhaled, surprised when he picked her up in his arms and began to carry her.

Had she been in any other condition, she would have protested immediately, but she couldn't even open her eyes without a terrifying pain shooting into her brain, so she kept quiet. She wasn't even sure if she was able to walk at the moment anyway.

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" he said, sounding irritated. She groaned.

"Not your pet," she said, feebly.

He laughed and sped up his walking. "No, I just feed you and give you water, and take you to the doctor when you're sick, but you're definitely not my pet. You heavier than a dog too, believe me."

She raised her arm and struck him on the chest, all with her eyes closed. "Arse."

"I can drop you any moment, Evans."

Lily kept her mouth shut after that and waited patiently through her brain attacks until they arrived at the Hospital Wing.

"Potter? What is the meaning—oh. Set her down there."

"She said her head hurts. Can barely open her eyes."

Pomfrey began to poke and prod Lily, and made her open an eye, while Lily fought to keep the pain from manifesting itself in screams or tears. Her head felt like someone was pounding at it with a reverberating axe, multiplied by a million Hippogriffs, every time she opened her eyes.

"Is she okay?" she heard James ask.

"She'll be fine, Mr. Potter. You can go back to your room now. Ms. Evans will stay here for the night."

"I'll bring your leash in the morning, Evans."

"If that is supposed to be some kinky pick-up line, Potter—"

Pomfrey cleared her throat very loudly and Lily clamped her mouth shut, not realizing the matron was still standing beside her. She took the potion Pomfrey put in her hand and thought she heard James' laugh as he left. Once the potion was in her system, she felt the pounding slowly subside like a fading echo and fell asleep.

.

James went up to his old dorm in Gryffindor Tower and lay down on his old bed as Remus worked on his paper, and Sirius and Peter played chess.

"So are we going to talk about what happened now?" Sirius said, watching as his queen brutally un-horsed Peter's knight.

"Lily caught the students responsible for the explosion, we brought them and the cauldrons to Pomfrey. Filch thought it was me, Dumbledore came and shooed us away. Then Lily and I went to eat breakfast in the Kitchens. Any questions?" James said.

"Who was it?" Sirius asked. James snuck a look a Remus, who nodded discreetly.

"Regulus was one of them," James said, gauging Sirius' response.

His eyes narrowed minutely. "And the other?"

"Avery."

Sirius snarled. "Stupid idiot, getting involved with the likes of Avery—"

"We don't know anything yet," Remus said.

"What else could the little rat—"

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed.

"Sorry, the little _pig_ be doing with Avery? And that exploding potion—are you telling me that that evil-smoke-emitting-potion was for some early extra credit, Remus? That's bullshit and you know it."

"Relax, Sirius," James said, knowing how Sirius got about his family and knowing it probably wouldn't do any good to try to calm him down at this point anyway.

"I'm going to kill him. He's always tried so hard to be the perfect Black Prince and he's going to get himself killed—"

"He's still in the Hospital Wing. Just saw him. At least wait until he heals before killing him," James said.

"Why were you in the Hospital Wing?" Peter asked.

"Lily had a headache. Had to bring her there."

"Having a rough day, isn't she?" Remus said, going back to his paper.

"Remus, what was in that cauldron?" Sirius asked, pacing.

"Why are you asking me?" Remus said with a flat expression.

"You're the brains here! Can't you just identify what the potion was with the color of the smoke, or like, the smell, or something? Isn't that what your werewolf nose is for?" Sirius said.

"Maybe if I was in my werewolf form I could identify..." Remus paused, tapping his finger on his chin, "...the most efficient way to rip your head off your shoulders," he said, a smile forming on his face.

"He's joking," James said, speaking to both Remus and Sirius. He laughed to try to ease the tension.

"Never mind. Knowing Avery and my brother, it was probably some sort of illegal, dark potion that his stupid _master_ gave him. Using Hogwarts kids to do his bidding. _Pathetic_." Sirius said, ignoring everyone and pacing in the small space in front of his bed. His hands were clenched into fists and his eyes were trained on the floor he walked. James knew there was no reasoning with him now.

"Maybe you shouldn't have told him Regulus was involved," Peter whispered, quite loudly, to James.

"Not tell me? _Not tell me!_" Sirius roared, looking up from his pacing. "Why wouldn't you tell me, I have the right to know! He may be stupid, but he's still my brother. Forget it! Forget all of you!" he said, looking at all of their faces and storming out of the dorm.

James smacked Peter on the head again. "Pete, whispering is meant to be quiet."

"Where are you going?" Peter asked, rubbing his head.

"To make sure Sirius doesn't tear the castle down with his teeth."

.

Lily woke with the sun streaming in through the window and hitting her on the face. She realized she wasn't in her bed, and she panicked briefly before remembering where she was and how she'd gotten there. She felt the blush creep up on her cheeks remembering the state she'd been in last night and how James had aptly carried her all the way to the Hospital Wing. She wished she could just forget what happened last night, but at the same time, she wondered if Potter would actually come to pick her up. At least her headache was gone.

Lily sat up in her bed and nearly screamed when she saw who was staring her down from the opposite bed.

"Morning, Evans," snarled Regulus Black, sporting a number of bruises on his face, tainting his good looks that were very similar to his brother's, but more slick like ice.

"Regulus," she said, nodding to him. Despite his similarity to his older brother, Sirius had never looked as intimidating as Regulus looked now. She scanned the room and found that Avery was still sleeping, but sporting similar bruises.

"Did the explosion put you in here?" he asked her.

She frowned. "No. How do you know I was even there?"

"I wasn't completely knocked out, Evans. I heard you. You're the one who brought me here."

Her eyes narrowed as her heart beat increased, but she couldn't figure out why.

"What's your point?" she asked, grateful that he didn't seem up to moving from his bed.

"If you ever tell anyone about what happened yesterday, or start asking questions, I'll—"

"What, kill me?" she said, putting on a brave front and was pleased that her voice didn't shake.

He glared. "You'll be wishing for that by the time I'm done with you."

She laughed, which surprised both of them. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Regulus," she trilled, using James' words from yesterday. She was shocked at her own boldness and tried to calm her racing heart and sweating palms. Her entire body felt hot and she hoped that Regulus couldn't tell how much he actually frightened her.

"You nasty Mudb—"

"Ah, Regulus!" said a familiar voice, interrupting Regulus' degrading term. Slughorn pranced into the Hospital Wing with his usual cheery demeanor and Lily couldn't be happier to see him. "And Lily, too! What are you doing in the Hospital Wing, my dear?"

She smiled happily at the man. "I had a bit of a headache last night, Professor," she answered. "How are you doing, Sir? After the explosion yesterday?"

"Fit as a fiddle, my young witch."

"What are you doing here so early in the morning, if you don't mind me asking, Sir?" she asked.

He smiled at Regulus. "I was here to see Regulus, but had I known you were here as well, I would have come to see you earlier!" he said, beaming at her. She always knew he loved her, and sometimes she abused that, but right now, she was just happy he was here.

"Ah, Regulus," he said, turning to him. "Professor Dumbledore told me about your, er, accident, and I was just coming by to see if you'd still be well enough to come to my Welcoming Party tomorrow! You'll be attending as well, Lily?" assumed Slughorn, turning to Lily, who quickly masked her dread with a smile.

"I—I'm not sure if I can make it—"

"Now, now, Lily! You've hardly attended any event since sixth year! Come now, let this year be a fresh start, yes?"

"Of course, Professor," she said eventually, not able to think of an excuse beside for the fact that she was trying to avoid Severus.

"Excellent! And Regulus?"

"If Madam Pomfrey allows me to leave, I would be pleased to be there, Professor," he said, using his Black charm to disguise the heavy conversation he and Lily had just been having.

"Wonderful, wonderful—ah, Mr. Potter!" said Slughorn, making Lily's heart thump harder in her chest. She turned her gaze toward the door, and indeed, there was James, strolling into the room wearing his uniform and a refreshingly relaxed expression. Lily was hesitant to admit this, but frankly, he was a sight for sore eyes.

"Professor," he said, dipping his head.

"Wonderful that we've run into each other," he said, smiling at James. "I've been meaning to ask you if you're free tomorrow evening," he asked.

James looked at Lily, who began to shake her head.

"I, er, my schedule might be flexible—" he said, ignoring Lily's frantic warnings.

"Excellent! I'm sure you've heard of my Slug Club, as I like to call it," he said with a chuckle. "We're having our Welcoming Party tomorrow, and I would love it if you could attend. As an 'Honorary' member for helping me yesterday," he added, making it clear that James was not an official member of the club and only invited because of his good deed.

Lily sighed and put her head in her hand. Although she didn't want to think about it, the party would be more interesting with James there, and she would at least have someone else to talk to besides for Severus and Slughorn, especially since she wasn't on speaking terms with the former.

"Er—"

"I will not take no for an answer, Mr. Potter. Both Lily and Regulus have agreed to be there, as well. I expect to see all three of you at eight. Lily, surely you can show Mr. Potter the way?" he winked jovially and left the Hospital Wing, humming a happy tune.

.

James waited as Lily changed behind the curtain. Regulus had gone back to sleep as soon as Slughorn had left, for which James was grateful for, because he was unsure of what he was supposed to say. Regulus hated James as much as he hated Sirius, and the feeling was mutual. And this 'Honorary' Slug Club invitation. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that either.

"Let's go," Lily said hastily, grabbing the potion Pomfrey had put out for her in case of another attack. They made their way back to the Head dorms.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"I would be, if I didn't have to go to Slug's party tomorrow," she said, the dread evident on her face.

"They're that bad, huh? I heard there's good food."

She pursed her lips at him. "Why didn't you just say you were busy like I told you?" she scolded.

"But, I'm not," he said, grinning. "Besides, it might be kind of fun."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't ask me to pull the trigger when you want to shoot your brains out."

"That's morbid, Lily."

"Feeling in a morbid mood, James."

He smiled. "Well, I bet I could make it fun," he said.

Her eyes narrowed. "How?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"

"I'm not falling for that," she said, dismissing him with her hand and entering their Common Room.

"Well, you already told Slughorn you're going, so you can't back out now."

She sighed.

"Why don't you want to go?" he asked, as she dashed into her room and back out to make her way to her bathroom.

"Sev's in the Slug Club," she said simply, and James didn't miss the hurt in her eyes before she turned them to the ground, but it was gone by the time she turned her eyes back up at him. "Besides, it's just a stupid excuse for Slug to make more connections and brag about all the important people he knows. Stupid really. But I have to shower before class, so excuse me," she said, turning away from him and leaving him contrite.

.

"I can't believe you convinced me to come," Lily said, holding a glass bowl tied with a ribbon and wearing a glorious green dress. James closed his gaping mouth before she looked up at him.

"You look…nice," he said with a smile.

She scowled. "Don't even think about it, Potter."

"Think about what?" he said innocently, looking her over again as she walked past him. His mouth went dry and he nervously adjusted his coat.

"Just keep your eyes in respectable places," she said, turning back to usher him along. "We're going to be late."

He followed obediently and nodded down at the bowl she was holding. "What's that?"

"Present for Slughorn."

"What is it?" he asked, examining it further and noticing it was filled with water and a petal floating on top.

"None of your business," she said, hiding it from view.

He smiled. "Are you a gambling girl, Evans?" he said.

"Depends," she said, looking at him suspiciously.

"If I promise that tonight will be fun, will you promise to give me that present instead of to Slughorn?"

"I will not, Potter. I'm planning on giving it to Slughorn as soon as I arrive, then make an excuse as to why I have to leave."

"You dressed like that just to say you have to leave?" he asked, looking at her dress again, making her blush.

"Leave my dress out of this."

"Pleased to," James responded. She was making this too easy.

She glared, her face turning redder than her hair. "You're such an arse. Besides, you don't even know what it does!" she said. "It could be an ointment for genital crabs, or something equally unpleasant."

He laughed. "And why would Slughorn ask you to make him some cream for his crabs?"

She blushed even harder and stormed ahead of him.

"You've already ruined my night, Potter, so you lose," she said, walking briskly towards Slughorn's office.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said, fixing his amused expression to an apologetic one. "I didn't mean to offend you, I'm just jealous Slughorn gets a present and I don't," he said.

She rolled her eyes, her blush still evident in her face. "You don't get a present because you're so intolerable all of the time. I only give presents to people I like, Potter."

"You like the Slug more than me? I'm terribly hurt," he said with a grin.

"You're an arse."

"Can I see what it does then? If it's not for crabs?"

"It only happens once, you can't go back and forth."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"If it's ongoing, then it no longer becomes special, does it? One time event, that's it."

"Is it homemade? It looks homemade," he noted, trying to get a better look.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" she asked, hiding it from view.

He shrugged. "It means that it looks homemade. So are you going to let me see it, then?"

"No!"

"Evans, come on!"

"Drop it, Potter."

They arrived at the door and heard music and laughter from inside. Lily sighed and James opened the door for her in a most-gentlemanly manner. She scowled at him and stepped inside.

Slughorn was wearing the most horrendous velvet maroon jacket and emerald green trousers James had ever seen. His bow tie was furry and spotted, and the hat on his head was frankly ridiculous. James snorted and received an elbow in the side from Lily.

"Professor!" she said, walking through the crowd to reach Slug. Her dress flowed like a green river, wrapping around her body with every step she took, and James wondered what he ever did to deserve this kind of torture. James followed her, unsure of what he was supposed to do at this eclectic gathering of people.

"Ah, Lily! You made it!"

.

Lily handed her present to Slughorn, an embarrassed blush coming over her cheeks. She wasn't even sure if the present was a good idea. She felt a little relieved when he accepted it without inspecting it too thoroughly.

"And Mr. Potter as well! Welcome!" he said as James joined them. She had been so embarrassed at his prodding about the gift, she had almost flung it down the stairs. And it being homemade, what was he trying to imply? Homemade gifts were okay, weren't they?

Lily turned to look at him, and from the corner of her eye, saw Snape slinking into the party, much like he had yesterday at Potions. The sight of him jogged her memory and she made the connection. He must have been there meeting with Regulus and Avery right before the explosion. He was involved and Lily was going to find out how.

"Professor, I'm sorry about this, but I think I'm going to have to leave early—"

Before Lily could finish her sentence, there was a flash and Lily's present smashed into pieces, water spilling everywhere. The glass bowl had burst instead of hitting Lily's head because she was shoved out of the way by James' rough hands pushing her backwards.

Many people screamed, while Lily looked up at James who was lying almost on top of her. His big hazel eyes stared at her in concern and she was about to say something, when he was pushed off.

"What do you think you're doing, Potter?!" Sev's voice cut into the chaos. Lily hastily rushed to her feet now that James' weight was not crushing her.

Sev's wand was pointed to James' chest, who raised his hands in defense, but with an aggressive expression on his face.

"Sev, stop," Lily said, putting herself between his wand and James. She was vaguely aware of how the entire room was staring at the three of them, Slughorn included. His hands were frozen in the position they'd been in while holding the bowl, but it was no longer there, occupying the space between them.

"He was attacking you! I pushed him off before he could try anything and you're telling me to stop?"

"Severus," she said firmly. "This is a room full of people. It's hardly the time, nor the place."

Sev sputtered, then lowered his wand, still glaring. He stormed away from her, the crowd clearing a path for him. Lily sighed and turned to Slughorn, who still hadn't moved.

"I'm sorry Professor, I think I'll be leaving now," she said curtly, following Sev out the door.

.

James ran after Lily, but he still hadn't fully processed what had just happened. Lily had just been attacked, yet like the explosion, she simply addressed the situation calmly, then proceeded to leave the party with _Severus Snape_. He gritted his teeth as he saw Lily and Snape enter an empty classroom together.

He knew he shouldn't, but he pulled the Invisibility Cloak over him and stood at the doorway anyway. James put his ear as close to the crack as possible, which wasn't entirely necessary since Lily and Snape were already shouting.

"How could you bring _him_ of all people there! And—and you're wearing—"

"What is your problem, Sev? I know you hate him, and sometimes I understand why, but to accuse him of _attacking me_ in public like that? Do you really think he'd _attack_ me, as you say, with that many people watching? And for the record, he pushed me out of the way from getting my head blown up like that glass bowl. How could you possibly be so thick! You embarrassed me in front of all those people!"

"Don't you see the way he looks at you? He's not right for you, Lil—"

"We aren't talking about James Potter's looks, Sev. This is about how you acted! Someone actually aimed a curse at my head, and you blame James for attacking me after he saved my life! That's not acceptable."

"So he's 'James' now?" Snape sneered, not listening to anything she said except for what she called him. "What happened to 'arrogant toe-rag' or 'Potter-the-ponce' and everything else you used to call him?"

"He's different, Sev. It's more than I can say for you. I know you were with Regulus and Avery before the explosion."

James almost barged into the room then, but he continued listening from his post.

"What are you talking about?" Snape's voice faltered, sounding more scared now than angry.

"Don't bother denying it, Sev. You came in late to Potions, and seconds after there's an explosion with Black and Avery as the source. You were involved, weren't you?"

"I wasn't," he denied, despite her telling him not to.

"What are they planning? What were they doing with that potion and what was it? You and I both know that Avery is not smart enough to mix red and yellow to get orange, and Regulus is too young for something that advanced. You were helping them."

"I promise, I wasn't involved."

"Don't lie to me," she warned, quietly. Her voice sounded like bubbling lava.

"I'm not, Lil, please!"

"Tell me what they're planning!"

"Nothing! I swear!"

James heard Lily scoff, and her footsteps coming towards the door. He quickly stood and began to run towards the dorms. He knew that if Lily caught him eavesdropping, she would never forgive him, especially on something as personal as a conversation with Snape. He remembered how close they had been and how he had basically caused the end of their friendship. He was sorry that Lily had been hurt over it, but he wasn't sorry that they were no longer friends. He hated the way Snape's slanted, black eyes would look at her when she wasn't paying attention. The boy thought of her more than a friend and it gave him the creeps. Not that Lily would ever fall for the greasy Slytherin in the first place, but still. She had yet to fall under James' charm, so maybe she did have some sort of weird taste in men.

James quickly stuffed the cloak back in his pocket and changed out of his dress robes. He sat on the couch as casually as he could, making it seem like he'd come here straight after leaving Slug's party, so he grabbed the book he'd left on the coffee table and opened it to a random page.

Lily stormed in a couple minutes after James began reading and shot him a look of anger before walking past him and slamming the door to her room. James sighed and put the book down.

"Lily?" he said, knocking on her door. "Are you okay?" James put his ear to the door and was surprised to hear crying sounds coming from her room.

"Go away, please," she said, her voice cracking.

"Not until you come out here," he said.

She continued to cry, but refused to come out or let him in, so he just sat on the ground outside her door.

When the noises from her room stopped, James thought she had fallen asleep. "Lily?" No answer. "Shit," he swore. "I don't know if you've fallen asleep or not," he said, feeling incredibly thick, but continued anyway, "but I'm sorry tonight was such a failure. Explosion two days ago, then you almost get your head blasted by some idiot with a wand. Which I saved you from, by the way. I'm still waiting for that thank you," he joked, wondering if she was even listening. "Anyway, sorry for plowing you into the ground. I hope I didn't rip your dress. And sorry about how stupid Snape is, although that one's not my fault. He was just born that way. But I'll apologize on his behalf because he probably never will—"

James was interrupted as the door he was leaning on opened and he fell backward. Lily stood beside him, a small smile on her face, her eyes red and swollen. She crouched beside him, still in her green dress, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for saving my head," she said, smiling. James gulped. "That was your present. Now go away, okay, Potter?" she said, waiting for him to stand up so she could close her door. He nodded and moved away from her room. She stood, gave him another quick smile and closed the door. He sighed and went to his own room, touching his cheek as he went. She was definitely driving him insane. The good kind, he realized with a smile. Definitely the good kind.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thought I should get the second chapter up quickly to keep you interested. You know, I appreciate follows, but reviews even more!

Leave your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3: Scheming

**3: Scheming **

Lily woke up with a slight headache again, so she drank a bit of Poppy's potion. The clock read _7:54_ and she groaned. It was way to early to be awake on a Saturday. She grudgingly got out of bed, knowing that she'd never be able to get back to sleep now. And she still had a lot of homework to catch up on, despite it only being the first week of school. She sighed, and then groaned when she looked in the mirror to see her puffy face and swollen eyes. She'd forgotten what a night of crying did to a girl's face. She rubbed her eyes, trying to get them to deflate, but quickly gave up.

She quickly showered, then seeing the sun shining outside, decided upon a walk before starting on her homework, reckoning it was one of the last nice weekends before the weather began to get cold.

Lily walked around the grounds aimlessly, hoping the cool breeze would take down the swelling of her face. She went for a quick breakfast and then headed to the library with her books and sat down at her regular table. The library was empty since it was the first Saturday since term started and only nine in the morning. She listened to the thin scrawling of Pince's quill on parchment, and inhaled the crisp dry air of paper and dust. The library always had a trick of calming her down.

Lily sighed and opened her books. She wondered idly where James had gone off to since his bedroom door had been open when she left and he wasn't in the Common Room either. She shook the thought away and began to read her Transfiguration textbook, with a quill and parchment beside her for notes.

It wasn't long before Lily got distracted and began to doodle on her parchment instead of doing work. She began with some of the leaves she had seen on her walk, then progressed into clouds, which she colored in and had drawn as coming out of a cauldron. She drew three empty faces, one with long black hair and a hooked nose, the other two with blank faces. She sighed and put her pen down. What could they have been doing?

She abandoned her Transfiguration homework for now and went to the Potions sections. She knew whatever potion the three of them were brewing had to be some sort of explosive that went wrong, otherwise Regulus and Avery would be nothing more than shreds of skin on the dungeon walls. And because of their failed attempt, Lily had no clue as to whether the smoke was an actual characteristic of the potion, or if it was just a result of the failed attempt.

She pulled out a book and flipped through the pages before putting it back on the shelf. This was going to take forever. She just needed…

"This is all your fault, Avery, so don't complain," she heard a familiar voice from the other side of the bookshelf. She inhaled sharply and moved as quietly as she could without alerting her present company to her location.

"I did exactly as Snape told me," the lumbering fool said, quite loudly. Lily tried to move, but didn't know how she could possibly escape without them seeing or hearing her. She was trapped.

"Lower your voice!" Regulus hissed venomously. Avery didn't say a word. "Snape told us not to move it until it turned grey, but it was still black—did you hear that?"

Lily gasped as a hand reached out from behind her and clamped her mouth shut as another pulled her backward. She felt a silky fabric materialize around her and another person's warmth at her back. She began to panic, when she heard a soft whisper and a familiar voice at her ear.

"Shh, it's just me," said James, slowly loosening his hand from her mouth when he was sure she wouldn't scream. Regulus took that moment to peek his head into their aisle and Lily tensed. His grey eyes swept right past them and he scowled, ducking his head back behind the shelf.

"What—?"

"Shh! He can't see us. Now stop fidgeting and listen," James whispered, his breath tickling her neck. His hand was still grasping her arm and his front was almost touching her back. She could smell his soap on his skin and she took a deep breath. Merlin, he was close.

"What is this?" she asked, ignoring his comment about listening and reaching her fingers out to touch the translucent fabric hanging in front of her. James shushed her again and stuck a finger out in front of them, pointing to Regulus through the bookshelf.

"I'll tell you later. Now quiet."

"Hearing voices, Black?" Avery's monotone voice taunted, as Regulus continued searching through books.

"I heard a noise, Avery. Now, are you going to help me look for the potion or not?" he said, slamming another book closed and replacing it on the shelf.

"I don't get what happened, we waited until it was grey. You said it looked grey."

"Well, obviously it wasn't grey _enough_."

"Why can't he just make the potion for us?" Avery said.

"He doesn't have the mark yet, idiot. The Dark Lord asked us to do it, but obviously you're too stupid and I'm stuck with you. Snape's just helping so we don't get our heads blown off, which just about happened yesterday. So help me, you idiot!"

Avery grumbled. "Why can't Rosier or Wilkes do it? They're better at this stuff than we are."

"Speak for yourself, Avery. I'm as good as Potions as the other two, and they're in seventh year. No, the Dark Lord asked this specifically of us, so we are going to complete it."

"What about Evans and Potter?"

Lily tensed at the mention of their names and turned back to look at James. His jaw was set, but he looked down at her and put a finger to his lips and she turned back around.

"What about them?" Regulus said with a snarl.

"What happened at Slughorn's event?"

"I missed."

This time Lily gasped and James quickly put a hand to her mouth as Regulus ran to their aisle with his wand pointed at the air.

"Who's there!" he hissed, as James raised his wand with his right hand pointing at Regulus through the curtain that was protecting them, the left on her mouth. Lily's breathing hitched as Regulus looked right at them, but his eyes passed by quickly. What kind of curtain was this that Regulus couldn't see them? She didn't remember seeing James either, so they must have been invisible.

"Someone's listening. Avery, let's search the aisles and go," Regulus said, finishing his inspection of their aisle and moving on to the next one. James kept a hold on her until Regulus and Avery left the library, then she elbowed him in the stomach. He let go of her and quickly swept the curtain away from them and she turned around to face his angry expression.

.

"Well, shit," James said, sitting down at the table. "This just ruined my day."

"First thing's first," Lily said, sitting next to him. "What were we hiding under and why couldn't he see us?" she asked searching his pockets as he struggled to keep her hands away from the cloak.

"Stop touching me, Evans," he said with a slight grin. "Or be prepared for some quid pro quo."

She stopped searching him immediately, and glared as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Let me see it. It's some sort of Invisibility Cloak, isn't it?"

James sighed and the corner of his lip quirked upward. "They don't call you the smartest witch of your time for no reason, do they, Sherlock?" he said.

She raised her eyebrows. He shrugged. "I asked Remus about it."

"You know Sherlock Holmes is a man, right? Now, hand it over."

"It just saved you a whole lot of trouble. I'm not giving it up now," he said.

She rolled her eyes, sticking her hand out. "I'm not going to confiscate it," she said. "Head Girl promise."

"That sounds very reassuring, but no. Maybe later."

She pouted, but conceded. "But it is an Invisibility Cloak?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Next question. Why were you hiding under your Invisibility Cloak at—" she looked at her watch, "—ten o'clock in the morning on a Saturday?"

He stuck her with a serious look. "Don't tell anyone, but it's my guilty pleasure."

She glared at him.

"Fine, fine," he said with a laugh, "I was at Quidditch tryouts this morning, and while I was walking back, I saw Reggie and Avery meandering through the halls. So, wanting to prevent another explosive episode, I followed them incognito and voila. Then I saw you, panicking, so I made you incognito too," he said. "You're welcome, by the way."

She frowned. "How did you see them before they saw you?"

He grinned again. "Much too sharp for your own good, Evans. That's also a secret."

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a ponce."

"Yes, I know. My turn now. What are _you_ doing in the library at ten o'clock on a Saturday morning?" he said, his tone mocking.

She blushed. "Studying. Research."

"Research in the potions section. I thought I told you to drop it and forget it ever happened."

"Oh, like you've dropped it and forgotten? You're walking around with a—"

James interrupted her, putting his hand on her mouth again and James knew he was very close to being bitten. "Please don't shout it to the world, Evans, Merlin," he said, taking his hand off and giving her a nervous smile. "I told you, secrets are only secrets—"

"—because you can't tell them, yes, yes, I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "Next topic. Regulus was the one who attacked me last night."

"Yes," James said, frowning. He ruffled his hair and Lily scowled, which he ignored. "That's a problem."

"What do we do?"

James didn't answer, but thought for a moment. "I would very much like to go find him right now and curse him back to his mother's womb, but I don't think you'd like that," he said, smiling at Lily's outraged expression. "But, besides for that, I've got nothing. There's not enough proof seeing as no one saw him there, he performed the spell nonverbally, and our word is probably not enough."

"Well, that ruined my day, too."

They sat there in silence, Lily twiddling her thumbs.

"You're much more calm than I imagined you'd be," she said finally, her eyes piercing through him.

"I've gotten better at hiding it," he said smiling. "All that stuff I told you I want to do to Regulus, that's only a fraction of what I'm feeling right now. What I really want to do—"

"I get it," she said, stopping him with a hand. "Why are you holding back?"

"A good Head Boy always does his duty," James said, repeating Sirius' mocking words, and wondering if he was losing himself in this job.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But Regulus and Avery, they're working for You-Know-Who?"

"Sounds like it," James said with a dark scowl, expressing his first real negative emotion since they had left. He didn't think she would accuse him of being a bullying-toe-rag for wanting to kill Voldemort, so he let his anger show more obviously.

"And he tried to kill me."

"Yes."

"So You-Know-Who wants me dead?" she said, again, surprising James with her calm acceptance of her situation. There was something very wrong with this girl.

James flicked his eyes towards her and he softened, not wanting her to go into one of her headache-fainty states again. "I don't think he's specifically after you, you just got in the way," he supplied.

"That makes me feel much better, thanks," she said, rolling her eyes.

"It's not personal, Lil," he said.

She froze. "Please don't call me that."

"What?"

"Don't call me 'Lil'," she said.

"Don't like nicknames?"

"Not that one, no," she said, her face getting pale.

"Okay," said James, obviously sensing her discomfort about the topic. "What about that potion then? Find anything during your research?" he asked, trying to get the conversation back to safer grounds.

She shook her head. "I don't know where to start," she said, regaining some of the color in her face. "We'd have to search through all the potions to see which one involves a black-to-grey transition state and that's virtually impossible, unless…"

"Unless?"

"Sev knows."

"Who?"

"Severus Snape," she said, exhaling in frustration. She frowned and James figured that was the source of the 'Lil' issue. Lil and Sev, best friends forever. Not.

"He's helping them," James reminded, just in case she was getting any ideas.

Lily glared at him, obviously not pleased with his comment. "Yes, I heard, thank you."

"But he doesn't have the 'mark' yet, whatever that means," he added, wondering if there was some sort of 'mark' that the 'Dark Lord' implemented on you once you became a Death Eater.

"_Please_ stop talking," she said, closing her eyes and resting her forehead in her palm.

"Sorry," he said, sitting down opposite her.

"What is he thinking?" she whispered to herself, and James knew better than to answer her question. She shook her head and James wished he could comfort her, but he didn't know how. He was probably the last person she wanted to be with right now, but he didn't leave.

"You know I'm sorry, right? About everything from fifth year…"

She opened her eyes and James saw a flash of anger in her eyes that scared the living shit out of him. He clamped his mouth shut and braced himself.

Then, she sighed and James prepared for the yelling match of the century. He hoped Madam Pince would have sympathy for him when they found his body parts all over the library.

"You already apologized for that," she said, turning her eyes away.

"What?" James blurted out before he could stop himself. "That's it?"

"What do you mean?" she said, confused.

"I thought you were going to yell at me."

She smirked. "I scare you that much, Potter?"

"Of course not, it's just Madam Pince would not appreciate it in such a peaceful environment."

She rolled her eyes. "Now, why would I yell at you when you're so considerate of other people?" she said, the sarcasm evident in her voice. "Come on. It's no longer a peaceful environment with all these students around," she said, gathering her books from the other aisle. James followed her like a pup, and he wondered if he wasn't the pet in this relationship.

"Where are we going?"

"I think I might go to Gryffindor Tower to make up for this entire week. I've been a shit friend."

"Did you just swear?" James asked, utter shock on his face.

She just rolled her eyes. "I think you have the wrong idea about me, James."

"You _were_ at the library at ten this morning."

"So were you!"

"For completely different reasons."

She sighed. "You really are a ponce."

He just laughed and followed her to the Tower anyway.

.

"Lily! Are you feeling better?" Alice asked as she approached her and Mary by the couches.

"Yes, I feel great. Sorry about not being able to come by earlier," she said.

"Alice, Mary," James said, walking past them and making his way up to the boys' dorm.

"Hi James," they both said, Mary with an extra little smile for him.

He smiled and waved. "Continue this conversation later, Evans?" he said, disappearing before she could respond.

"Ooo, what conversation?" Mary asked, excitement filling her clear blue eyes.

"We were talking about Potions," Lily said, rolling her eyes at her one-track-minded friend.

"About yesterday's paper?" Alice asked.

"Yes. He barely finished his," she said, remembering how his light had been on late into the night while she was playing around with Slughorn's present.

"We heard about Slughorn's party last night," Mary said cautiously. "Are you okay?"

Lily thought for a moment they knew that Regulus had intended that curse for her, but then remembered what else had happened afterward. For all they knew, it was just an accident that went badly, but more importantly, that she and Sev had had another argument.

"Oh, yes, that. I'm fine. He was just upset that I was with James."

"He'll get over it eventually, Lily," Alice said comfortingly.

"So are you _with_ James then?" Mary asked, her eyes widening.

"Of course not, Mary," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "We're Co-Heads. And Slughorn invited him as an 'Honorary' member for helping with the explosion. You know how he gets."

"Oh, but wouldn't it be so romantic, Lily? Hateful youths fall madly in love—"

"Let me just stop you right there, MacDonald," Lily said as Alice laughed. "There will be no falling in love, understood? We're barely functioning as it is."

"I hope you know that he's not all that bad now, Lily," said Alice.

"I know," Lily said, sighing. "I never thought he was a bad person—"

Both Alice and Mary burst into a fit of giggles.

"I didn't!" They both continued laughing. "It was just the bullying—"

"Which is all he ever _did_, Lil. You hated the poor soul."

"I didn't _hate_ him." More laughter. "Okay, fine. I may have hated him a little."

"But he's mature now, and so are you, so—"

"What do you mean 'so are you'?" Lily said to Alice. "I've always been mature!"

More laughing. Lily huffed. "What do you mean? Alice! Explain!"

"Let's face it, Lily," Mary said. "When it came to James Potter, there was no possible combination of words you wouldn't use just to insult him. Whenever he was concerned, you lost your head. And that's very non-mature Lily if you're asking me," she said, all-knowingly.

Lily gaped. "Seriously?"

"Come on, Lily," Alice said. "You never gave the poor boy a chance. As soon as he appeared, you'd enter into this foul mood that nothing could remedy until he was gone. And even then, you were still pretty upset. But you've noticed how you no longer scream like a banshee whenever he does something irresponsible. You've matured. It's a good thing. You shouldn't be so upset."

"I'm not upset—but why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "We've been telling you for years that James Potter isn't all that bad, but you just weren't ready to accept that yet. So we let it slide just until you finished ripening, little one," she said, tapping Lily on the head.

"You've got to be kidding me," Lily said.

"Don't revert now, Lil," Alice said. "It's all in the past, let's just move forward, yeah?"

Lily pouted, but was still not pleased with their assessment of her and James' relationship. She had been the mature one…hadn't she?

She sat with Alice and Mary well into the afternoon and even got some Transfiguration done. It was nice spending the Saturday with her friends like they had for the past six years. Mary teased Alice about Frank, while Lily and Alice laughed at Mary's boy-crazy antics. It was relaxing not having to think about death threats and evil potions for a couple hours.

After dinner, Lily headed back to her own dorms alone, not having seen James and the Marauders at dinner. She muddled about in her room for a bit, finished the last of her homework and even wrote a letter to her mom, but he still hadn't returned.

Lily fell asleep around ten since having woken up at such an ungodly hour this morning, but James still wasn't back. It was around two in the morning when she woke up to the sound of a creaking door.

Lily jumped to her feet and grabbed her wand, her sleep-ridden mind jumping to the worst conclusion that Regulus was breaking in to finish the job.

She opened her door and instantly shot a silent stunning curse to the assailant, who blocked it easily with a surprised exclamation.

"What the—Lily? What the _bloody hell_ are you doing?" James' voice jolted her fully awake and she put her hands to her mouth.

"Shit, James! I'm so sorry!" she said, running to him as he lit the lamps. He looked very angry and had a black eye.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" he yelled, towering over her.

"I thought you were Regulus! I'm sorry! I may have just woken up from a bad dream! Did I do that?" she asked, pointing to his eye.

His expression softened after she explained why she'd attacked him, but he still looked terrifying.

"Last I checked, stunning spells don't cause black eyes," he said, pushing past her to sit on the couch.

He threw his wand on the side table. "Why the hell would you think I was Regulus?" he asked, a disbelieving laugh escaping his lips. Lily sat on the adjacent seat and felt the blush creep up.

"I was asleep and I woke up to a creaking door. That was the first thing that came to mind," she explained, realizing how ridiculous that sounded.

"You scared the living daylights out of me," he said, laughing breathlessly again and resting his head back on the cushion, closing his eyes.

"Sorry."

"Remind me not to wake you when you're taking a nap," he said tiredly.

"Do you want me to fix that for you?" she asked, tentatively trying to make up for attacking him.

He opened one eye. "You can heal bruises?"

"I've had a lot of practice recently," she said.

He opened both eyes and considered it, then nodded curtly and watched her.

"_Violemneo_," she whispered, the bruise slowly fading away. She touched it briefly and he didn't flinch. "All better."

"Thanks," he said, his eyes never leaving hers.

"What happened?" she asked, shifting slightly away from him on the sofa. "You didn't fight with Regulus, did you?"

"No, the other Black."

"Sirius?" Lily asked, shocked.

"He can get very violent when people he cares about are acting stupid."

"Now you're talking about Regulus."

He nodded. "He pretends he doesn't care, but he tries to help his brother despite their relationship; he just doesn't know how. He thinks yelling at him is going to work, but Sirius isn't exactly an expert when it comes to family."

"So he hit you because…"

James laughed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"I was trying to stop him from finding Regulus."

"Oh."

"You should see his face though," James joked.

"That's where you've been this whole time? Fighting with Sirius?"

"Why, were you waiting up?" he grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "I told you I was sleeping, didn't I?"

"Don't know, Evans. You might have attacked me because you were so angry at me for being late," he said.

"I may be able to heal bruises, Potter, but I know how to make them too," she said, standing from the couch.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her wrist before she could leave. "Sorry if I made you worry," he said with a cheeky grin. "Promise it won't happen again."

"I don't care if it does, Potter," she said, freeing her wrist and walking back to her room. "Good night."

Lily closed the door, leaving James on the couch and smiled to herself before crawling back into bed.

.

James looked at his eye in the mirror before going to sleep. The bruise Sirius left had indeed been healed by Lily's capable hands. He touched it gingerly and was pleased to find it didn't even hurt anymore.

He lay in his bed and sighed. He was exhausted. Sirius rivaled Moony in werewolf form when he got appropriately riled up. Revealing the detail that it was Regulus who had attacked Lily was one of those appropriate stimuli. Not that Sirius was particularly concerned with Lily's safety, but the fact that his brother would be willing to harm another human being in the name of You-Know-Who got Sirius' fur standing on end.

Peter had suggested getting Sirius drunk enough that he would pass out and forget about the whole thing, and being desperate, Remus and James agreed, basically force-feeding him alcohol. Obviously, neither James nor Remus had been thinking clearly since James ended up with a black eye and Remus a split lip. Peter, miraculously, had escaped unscathed. But indeed, the plan eventually worked and Sirius passed out on his bed. Remus promised James he would restrain Sirius before James got there the next morning so that James could go back to his own room and sleep. He wondered how long this murderous behavior would persist, for Remus, Peter and James' sakes, and also for Regulus'.

He touched his eye again and smiled. James had always been attracted to Lily, but he could see now how easy it would be to love her. Her gravitational pull was so strong, James just wanted to fall into it, knowing he'd never be able to pull himself out when he did. He sighed.

.

Lily watched as Mary tensed, her shoulders curling in on themselves, her eyes bulging as she looked down into her plate. Lily looked up and saw Mulciber walking into the Great Hall and Lily became enraged. She hated how much effect he still had on Mary, despite it being almost two years now since it happened. She remembered having yelled at McGonagall to get the Slytherin boy expelled, but McGonagall had informed her, quite sympathetically, that she did not have the power to enforce this and Dumbledore did not have the necessary proof that Mulciber was the one responsible, despite the way Mary reacted in his presence. Lily doubted if Mary was even aware of her reactions whenever he walked into a room.

Lily noticed sadly and angrily that Sev was slinking in beside him, with Avery close at his heels. She ground her teeth and wrung her hands. She didn't know how she was going to get Sev away from the Slytherins, and even if she did, it would be unlikely that he told her anything. Their last encounter had proven that quite clearly. Lily had been genuinely surprised that he would lie to her face like that, especially with that pitiful denial that made her blood boil. She vaguely wondered if Sev would have been less likely to turn to those sadistic boys and the Dark Arts had she just forgiven him and maintained a positive relationship in his life.

Lily shook the thought away, remembering the sting of the word coming from his lips, a word that never affected her from any other person.

"Boo," said a quiet voice directly into her ear. Lily jumped, turning towards the familiar grin and frowning.

"You scared me, Potter," she said. "What are you doing?" she asked as he moved to sit next to her.

"Eating breakfast," he said, piling his plate. "Morning, Mary."

"Morning," she said, smiling, but still not fully recovered, in Lily's opinion.

"Where's Alice?"

"With Frank. Um, why are you eating breakfast _here_?" she asked.

He turned to smirk at her. "Spending time with my Co-Head."

"We spend enough time together, Potter."

He shrugged. "Enough for you, maybe," he said, grinning.

Lily scwoled and returned to her breakfast, just pretending he wasn't there.

"Where are the rest of you?" Mary asked him.

"If you mean Sirius, Remus and Peter," he said, in between bites. "They are probably still sleeping. They're not much for Monday mornings."

"Neither am I," Lily said, grabbing her Prophet and standing. "Not hungry anymore. See you in class, Mary," she said. Mary smiled, as James quickly swallowed.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To read my Prophet somewhere quieter, with my coffee," she said, not bothering to look back.

.

"What's up with her?" James asked Mary, stuffing another bite of breakfast into his mouth.

"She's not much of a talker during eating times, especially in the mornings," Mary said with a sigh. "Ever since her dad passed away in the summer—"

"_What_?" James sputtered, dribbling half-chewed food out of his mouth. "Come again?"

"She didn't tell you, I'm guessing," Mary said sadly. "She doesn't like to talk about it."

"Her dad?! He—shit. And when I asked if she had a good summer, she said yes—shit, shit."

Mary nodded sympathetically. "Alice and I didn't even find out until we went over for a visit three weeks after it happened. She didn't write to tell us. Alice asked where her father was, and that's when we found out. Didn't even shed a tear. One day, I know she's just going to explode, and it's not going to be pretty," Mary said sadly.

James lost his appetite. He couldn't imagine the kind of pain she was dealing with right now, especially being a Head student. He put his fork down.

"Should you have told me that?" he asked her, wondering what he was supposed to do now.

Mary shrugged. "She never would have told you on her own, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to know. If you're going to work with her for the rest of the term, you should at least understand why she is the way she is," Mary said with a smile.

"She'll be suspicious if I start being really nice to her, won't she?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "You're plenty nice to her already, James. She's the only one who can't see it."

.

Lily finished reading the Prophet, front to back, and sighed, drinking the last sip of her coffee. All the headlines were of the same topic, and of that topic Lily was very sick of. The new, trending journalist Rita Skeeter, Lily was also very sick of. Lily couldn't believe the amount of lies this woman was able to get away with reporting. She needed to be sacked immediately.

She threw the Prophet on the table and began to ponder about potions again. She wished she had another cup of coffee to snuggle up with before class started.

Lily stared at the door and frowned. She couldn't quite understand it, but she almost felt _disappointed_. She had half expected him to come running after her, insisting that he was finished eating, or no longer hungry, or some other rubbish like that, but he hadn't, and Lily was disappointed. Despite it only being a bit over a week, she had already grown accustomed to his constant presence.

Maybe it was because she was used to living with other people, and so now that she didn't have four other girls surrounding her, she shifted her loneliness onto the next available human being, James. That was not ideal. Lily had more important things to deal with than becoming attached to James like some sort of slug to a shell.

She shooed the confusing feelings away and tried to think of something else. But she quickly realized that all the things she could think of involved James in some way. The mysterious potion would bring up thoughts of the library and how close he'd been standing and the smell of his skin. Head duties would remind her of how they were going to be spending the next year or so working together. Thinking of class would have her hoping to see him there. It was futile.

Lily stared impassively at the door, willing it to open. She didn't know how long she sat there, but definitely long enough for her to realize she was going to be late for class. She stood up, checking her watch again to make sure she really was reading the time correctly, then ran from the room, dragging her heavy bag of books behind her.

She wasn't late for class, mercifully, but the rest of the day seemed to pass by excruciatingly slowly. She usually enjoyed class and learning about all the magical things in her world, but that morning's paper had her in a foul mood and all she could think of was the futileness of their life here at Hogwarts. She loved this school with all her heart and she valued education over everything, but she wondered if this was the sort of education they would need in the future.

"You okay, Lily?" Alice asked at dinner as Lily played with her food.

She looked up and nodded. "Of course."

"You've been quiet all day," Alice continued.

"Just thinking," she responded, putting down her fork and resting her chin in her hands, elbows on the table. James Potter was conspiring with hushed words with Remus and Peter, Black was nowhere to be seen. She wished she could hear what they were talking about, knowing it was probably about the potion and Regulus Black.

"About what?" Mary asked, following her glance. "James Potter?"

Lily scowled and pulled the Prophet out of her bag. "This Rita Skeeter leech. It's all nonsense the things she writes._ I_ could do a better job," Lily ranted.

Alice examined the paper and sighed. "Dad says she just causes trouble at the Ministry, interviewing all the wrong people and putting words in their mouths."

"She has style though, you can't deny that," Mary said, scanning one of the articles quickly. "She almost makes me _want_ to believe what she's writing."

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's ludicrous."

"But really, Lily. She can't be all that's put you in this mood," Mary said, putting the Prophet down. "Rita Skeeter is millions of miles away and her writing isn't _that_ influential."

Lily sighed again. "I don't know. I've just been feeling a bit inconsequential at the moment. I'm not sure what it is, I just feel useless."

Alice smiled at her sympathetically. "You're Head Girl, Lily. I know it's not much, but at least there's that, right?"

"I guess," Lily said, but wasn't entirely convinced.

"And you have an amazing Head Boy. I'm sure if you let him, he'd show you how entirely useful you really are—"

"Mary!"

"What?" Mary said with a lecherous grin. "I meant in an innocent, scholarly, Head-duties kind of way."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. Please, let's just talk about something else. I wasn't paying the slightest attention in Herbology today, Alice. Could I borrow your notes?"

"Of course, Lily. Do you want my Transfiguration and Charms ones as well?" she said with a sly grin.

Lily grinned. "Perhaps."

"Come to Gryffindor Tower with us after dinner. I'll get all of them for you."

"You're the best, Alice."

"Don't lie to the poor girl, Lily," said James' voice from behind her. "I know you really think I'm the best," he said, plopping down beside her.

"I'm sure I've never said that in my life, Potter," she said.

"Lying again, Evans. You said you weren't surprised that I was appointed Head Boy. Meaning I was the _best_ candidate out of all of them."

"That's not the same thing," she argued. "Are you finished eating?" she asked Alice and Mary, who were both smiling secretly at her. Lily's eyes narrowed at them.

"We're going to Gryffindor Tower, James. Care to join?" Mary asked him, instead of answering Lily's question.

"Why, thank you, Ms. MacDonald. I would be glad to," he said, standing beside the bench and waiting for Lily to stand with him. She glared at her friends and stood beside him. Alice and Mary were already walking ahead, whispering together and forcing Lily to walk with James.

"Pleasant day, Evans?"

"No, actually. It was terrible, thanks for asking."

"Ouch. Can I lend an ear?" he said with a charming smile, making Lily look away.

"No, I have enough ears, thank you," she said curtly.

"Then can I offer to listen to your problems?" he grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "No, thanks, Potter. I'm not much for sharing."

He tisked her. "Didn't your mother ever tell you sharing is caring?"

"Exactly," she said. He laughed at her.

"You know I'm not out to get you, don't you? You don't have to be so hostile."

She pursed her lips instead of answering. "I just don't want to talk about it."

He sighed. "You don't have to hide everything under that thick skin of yours."

"I just had a rotten day, Potter. There's not much else to say," she responded, uneasy with his sincerity.

"Not just about this," he said. "I mean things in general. Anything that's bothering you. I can help. Or at least try to," he said, the corner of his lip quirking up lightly. She stared at him.

"Thanks," she said after a while, unsure of what exactly was happening. "Do you know something that I don't?" she asked suspiciously.

"There it is," he said, rolling his eyes. "Typical Lily Evans cynicism. No. What would I know that you don't?"

"I don't know, maybe something about my attacker? I noticed Black wasn't at dinner."

"Is that why you've had such a rotten day? Brooding over this?"

"_Brooding_? My skull was nearly shattered into a million pieces—"

"Okay, wrong word. But the answer is still no. I don't know anything more than you do."

"So what were you, Remus and Peter whispering about? Do you have a plan yet?"

He frowned. "And if I said yes, what would be your response?"

"I want in."

"Excuse me?" he said, eyebrows disappearing under his fringe. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and stopped walking.

"You heard me, Potter."

"Yes, but I don't understand. You don't even know what the plan is," he said.

"But now that I've agreed to help, you're going to have to tell me, aren't you?"

He laughed. "Clever, Evans, but I'm not going to reveal it that easily. I still don't trust you not to go running to McGonagall once it's out in the open."

She glared at him. "My life was threatened, James. I'm not just going to sit by and let the bastard get away with it, am I?"

He rubbed his chin, leaned back and regarded her. "I'm not sure. Last I checked, you were pretty against the whole 'up-to-no-good' business."

"Don't tell me that's your plan, to 'prank' the daylights out of him," she said, rolling her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not sure that's the most effective way to get back at him, no?"

He smirked at her. "What exactly did you have in mind, Lily?"

"Nuh-uh, Potter. You first."

"Yoo-who!" Mary's voice suddenly said way ahead of them. "Are you coming or do we need to break the two of you up?" she shouted.

"We're coming!" Lily responded. "Later, Potter. I want to know what you have planned and I want in."

.

"Plan's out," James said as he entered the Marauders' dorm, lying down on his old bed.

"What? Why?" Sirius barked from his pacing stance in front of his bed.

"Lily knows," he responded tiredly.

Sirius swore violently. "The shrew! I knew she hadn't changed at all. What's she threatening? To tell Dumbledore and get us all expelled? Typical—"

"That's not it, Sirius. She wants in."

The room went silent and James sighed, closing his eyes.

"Beg your pardon?" Remus said, his eyes bulging. "Lily said that?"

"Her words were, 'I want in,' then she asked if we were planning on just 'pranking the daylights out of him', saying it wasn't 'the most effective way to get back at him', then told me she was expecting to be let in on the plan later," he recounted.

More silence. "What in bloody hell have you done to her, Prongs?" Sirius said.

James grinned. "Nothing, I swear it. This was all her."

"What now?" Peter asked. "Are we letting her in or not? It would run more smoothly with Lily there. She _is_ Head Girl, after all," he said.

Sirius snorted. "Are we actually considering this? The answer is no. _Because_ she's Head Girl. No way are we letting her come in and ruin the plan. Besides, she could still tattle off to McGonagall, the suck-up."

"And James is Head Boy. Besides, it was her head that curse was intended for. Maybe she could be useful," Remus inputted. "Whoever catches us might be more likely to believe our innocence if Lily was present."

James looked at him like he had transformed into a wolf right there. "You can't be serious, Moony. She may have stopped yelling like a loon, but she's still Lily Evans. As much as I want it to be true, she still isn't completely forgiving."

"Well, we have to tell her something now, don't we?"

"Hold on," James said. "It seemed like she had her own plan. Why don't we just go ask her?"

.

Lily sat on the couch in the Heads' Common Room with her Charms textbook open on her lap.

"Lily," said James as he opened the door. Behind him came Sirius, Remus and Peter, all sporting similar grim looks geared at her.

"What?" she answered, closing her book and feeling anxious as they sat around her in a circle.

"You're in. What exactly did you have in mind?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Please leave any thoughts, comments, suggestions you may have about where the story is headed. A lot of it is already written, but it's never too late to change things. Views may tell you people are seeing it, but reviews confirm that people are actually reading, and enjoying, your story. Don't be afraid to let me know that you have read my story! **


	4. Chapter 4: Justice and Dementors

**4: Justice and Dementors**

"Excuse me?" Lily said, fidgeting with her fingers as the four Marauders stared at her expectantly.

"You said pranking wasn't enough for dear Reggie," Sirius drawled. "So what exactly did you have planned for the little idiot?"

"I never said—"

"Come on, Evans. We need ideas. Spill."

"Like I said, Potter. You first."

James rolled his eyes at her. "That was our plan. Pranking the daylights out of him. Obviously that isn't good enough for your controlling nature."

She scowled at him and sat up straighter. "Well, it isn't. He has to be properly punished, doesn't he?"

"Exactly. So how exactly do you propose that happens?"

"Well, I don't know! Aren't you four the masters at this sort of thing? Don't you call yourselves the 'Marauders'? Isn't this what marauders do?"

"We just don't want you ratting us out—"

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed. Lily looked at him questionably. What was he on about?

"Sorry," Remus said, sending Lily a nervous look. "I meant, we don't want you spilling our plans to anyone and we're just making sure you're on the same boat. You must know that we may be breaking a few Hogwarts rules by doing this," he explained.

"Of course I do," she said, huffing. "James already explained that Regulus would get away with it if we told Dumbledore."

"_James_ did, did he?" Sirius said with a sly smile that made Lily's insides squirm.

"So, help us out, Lily," Remus intervened. "How exactly do you want do to this?"

"Hold on a second," she said. "I said I wanted in on whatever plan you four had, not that I was going to be the one behind the master plan," she argued.

James smirked. "We just want your ideas, Lily. We never said we were going to agree with whatever you said. It has to pass the criteria first."

She rolled her eyes. "Merlin, you have criteria for this sort of thing? Of course you do. Why am I so surprised?"

"So, ideas?" Remus continued.

She frowned. "I don't know; I'm not a criminal mastermind."

"This is pointless," Sirius said, standing up and pacing. "We should just go hex him until he admits what he did—"

"Okay, okay, _fine_," she said. "Just sit down, Black, and let me think. _Merlin_."

He stopped pacing, but didn't sit. He stood beside his couch, crossed his arms across his chest and glared at her.

She looked at all their faces staring at her and she shook her head. What had she been thinking, asking to be a part of this? She had no idea how to trap Regulus into anything. She hadn't even told anybody that he had threatened her life if she continued to pursue this.

"Well, we need to get Avery too, don't we?" she thought aloud, running her hands nervously down the front of her textbook. "And we need a professor to hear his confession about trying to blow up my head, or at least threatening me again—"

"Again? When was the first time?" James asked.

Oops. "Um…"

"Lily, has he threatened you before?" he asked her, his face going dark.

"Besides the curse aimed at my head?" she said with a wry smile. No one was amused.

"Evans, answer the bloody question," Sirius growled at her, sounding just as menacing as his brother in the Hospital Wing.

"I didn't take it seriously. I mean he was probably just trying to scare me—"

"What did he say?" Sirius asked.

She gulped. "He said something about me wishing for death by the time he was done with me—"

Sirius yelled in anger and began to pace in furious circles. "That good for nothing Death Eater! Threatening Muggle-borns now—he's delusional!"

"Hey, do you want us to tie you up again?" Remus said, getting out his wand and pointing it at Sirius. "Because I will do it, Black."

Sirius glared at him, then sat down.

"When was this?" James asked, a frown on his face.

"About five minutes before you walked into the Hospital Wing and ten seconds before Slughorn did," she answered, knowing he wouldn't be happy about her not telling him as soon as they were alone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, outraged.

"Why? So you could tell me to 'drop it and forget it ever happened' again?" she countered.

"I wouldn't have—"

"Get on with it, Evans. I'm losing patience," Sirius barked, interrupting James, his cold eyes like icicles into her soul.

"Well, er, I don't know, I could, hm, confront him? And then you four can come and, er—"

"Okay, Prongs, I give in," Sirius said with a short, humorless laugh. "This is pathetic. Just tell her the real plan."

"What?" Lily said, blushing. "The real plan?"

James gave her an apologetic smile. "We already have a plan that does not involve pranking."

"So what was that then? Some sort of test?" she said, flushing at the ridiculousness of the things she said.

"Sort of," he responded. "Sirius here didn't quite believe you to be committed to our, er, cause."

"Don't make me out as the bad guy, Prongs. You had your doubts as well," he grumbled, still in a terrible mood due to his brother's continued stupidity.

Lily ignored their back-and-forth. "Get on with it, then. What's the real plan?"

.

"We're all set here, Prongs," said Peter through the enchanted mirror. Lily was still on the fence about that particular contraption, but technically they weren't illegal and technically they weren't breaking any laws, but it made their pranking and scheming all that much easier, which Lily wasn't a fan of. But she couldn't really complain now that she was working with them, could she?

"Right, thanks, Wormtail. We're moving now," James replied putting the mirror in his pocket and putting a hand on her back. "Ready?" he asked with a grin.

She rolled her eyes and began to walk.

"What's with the nicknames?" she asked.

"We need undercover names, don't we?" he said with a teasing grin. She narrowed her eyes.

"What do they mean?"

He shrugged. "Picked them out of a hat. Just letters we put together into a word. That's all."

Lily didn't believe him, but let it go. "You're a terrible liar," she said. He only grinned. "Don't I get an undercover name?"

"Only if this goes successfully," he said, smirking at her and wiggling his eyebrows. "And only if you are planning on joining us on a second occasion," he finished.

She pursed her lips, but didn't answer. He chuckled to himself and pushed her forward.

"Come on, we're going to be late," he said, pulling out the invisible fabric from his pocket. Lily watched, enthralled, as James' hands disappeared momentarily while handling it.

"Can I…?" she said, holding a hand out. He smiled and handed her a side. It felt like cool water flowing between her fingertips. The silky material felt marvelous against her skin and she brought it up to her face without thinking.

"Amazing," she said continuing to run her fingers through it.

"Thanks," he said, bringing her back to the moment. "Clock's ticking," he added, winking at her and pulling it out of her hands so he could cover both of them with it. "Tuck in," he said, his arm resting comfortably on her shoulder. She frowned at his smiling face and he winked again. "It's not as big as it looks. Don't want to risk a sighting of detached limbs, do we?"

"Just keep your hands to yourself," she said, shuffling forward to match his pace.

It was slow moving with both of them under the cloak, but Lily wondered if James wasn't purposely impeding their movements. Surely he and one other of the Marauders practiced this particular maneuvering before. He couldn't be this bad at walking with another person under the cloak. And Lily was much smaller than the other three, except for maybe Peter.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at him.

"What?" he hissed back.

"Do you have a limp or something?"

"No, do you?"

"No! So walk properly, will you?" she said, elbowing him in the stomach.

"Ow," he said reflexively. "Relax, Remus has got it covered. No need to rush."

"You said we were going to be late not five minutes ago," she argued.

"That's back when you were fondling my cloak. Now, we're on time."

She rolled her eyes and they continued their awkward shuffling. She still thought he was doing it on purpose, especially since every time he 'limped', his arm would brush against hers.

"Why exactly do we need the cloak now?" she whispered to him.

"We don't leave any potential witnesses. No sightings from here to the prank site and back."

"So that's how you got away with the toad incident last year," she said, understanding coming to her. He grinned at her and shrugged.

"Bloody ponces," she said in response. "Does Dumbledore know you have this?" she asked him.

"No, and snitches get stiches," he said matter-of-factly.

"Is that a threat?" she asked, amused despite herself.

"Just a fact, Evans. Now quiet. We're almost there."

Lily obeyed and they shuffled along until they reached the Great Hall. It was bedecked with enormous glass orbs filled with water, hanging like flowering pots from the ceiling.

"How did they get these up so fast?" she whispered in awe. The castle was dark, but the candlelight flickered and reflected in the glass and water, making the hall look almost romantic. She hid her smile as Remus and Peter joined them.

"Well?" Peter said, spreading his arms wide. "The Target is headed this way now."

"And Padfoot?" James asked authoritatively.

"Causing a ruckus in front of Filch's now."

"Without being seen?" Lily inquired.

"Learning fast, Evans," James said with an approving grin. She hid how much that pleased her, to both herself and the Marauders.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Moony, Wormtail," he said, handing them the cloak and nodding at them. They slipped in on as they moved into place. James pushed her behind a pillar on the landing. "Now we wait."

They waited two minutes until they heard footsteps approaching the Great Hall, briskly. Lily felt her heart in her chest and hoped it was Regulus. If it was McGonagall…

"Ready?" James whispered at her. She nodded.

"Avery! What's the meaning of this?" Regulus hissed from the middle of the Great Hall.

Right on cue, one of the orbs hanging above the hall shattered and Lily and James quickly and silently transfigured the glass shards into water as they fell. Regulus yelled and hid his face in fear. He got drenched with water, but nothing else.

"Avery!" he yelled, louder this time. "Where are you? What are you trying to pull, you lumbering giant!" he hissed. Lily peeked over as he tried to move his feet, but they were implanted on the ground. She smiled at Remus' ingenious idea to put a Sticking Potion inside the first orb of water so he wouldn't be able to move.

Another orb burst by Remus or Peter's wand and Lily and James quickly went to work on the glass. Regulus yelled again and hid his face as more water fell down on him.

"Come out, whoever you are!" he bellowed into the darkness. It was then that James took over.

"Admit what you did, Regulus!" he said, his voice masked by a charm Lily had stumbled upon. It was deep and dark and frightening, which was exactly what they needed. "Admit your crimes and we shall let you go," he said as another orb burst and Lily quickly rid the glass. Regulus flinched again but still only got water.

"Who are you? Come out so I can see your face, coward!" he yelled.

"Admit your crimes, Regulus Black," James said from the shadows, his voice magnified. "Admit what you did that night and we shall release you!" he said.

Lily could hear more noises coming from the other end of the hall. She motioned for him to hurry.

"Admit them!" he yelled as more orbs burst around him. Lily let the outer ring of glass shatter instead of transfiguring them into water, for more effect. Regulus screamed again. More noise from the hallway.

"All right! I did it, okay? It was me!" he said desperately scared. Another shattered orb.

"Did what?" James said.

"I attacked Lily Evans at Slughorn's party!" he admitted just as Filch came clamoring into the Great Hall, Mrs. Norris at his heels.

"I've got you now, Black!" he shouted at Regulus as he pointed a boney finger at him. "And what's it you said? Attacked the Evans girl too? Well the Headmaster will hear about this, he will," Filch said as he bent down to whisper to his cat. She stalked off, to fetch Dumbledore, presumably.

Lily tried to calm her racing heart as she grinned at James, who was grinning back, just as widely. But they weren't done yet.

"What's happened here?" Lily asked as she and James emerged from behind the pillar. She gasped and looked at the scene surrounding her. "Mr. Filch? Are you all right? What's happened?" she asked him.

"This one here's done this, that's what's happened—"

"YOU!" Regulus roared, his feet still stuck to the ground. "This is your doing! You set me up! You—"

"Mr. Black? What is the meaning of this?" Dumbledore's serene face emerged from the same hallway Filch had come from. "Ah, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, as well."

"Headmaster," Filch greeted. "Caught this one," he pointed at Regulus, "out of bed and causing a ruckus in front of my office, yes he was. I chased him all the way here until the Great Hall and he caused this mess, glass and water everywhere! He even admitted to attacking the Evans girl!" he screeched in his scratchy voice.

"Ah. And Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans?" he asked, his clear blue eyes regarding them.

"We were doing extra rounds, Professor," Lily said easily.

"Just doing our duty, Sir," James added with a firm nod. Lily thought he was pushing it a bit.

"I see," Dumbledore said. Lily squirmed. "And the attack on you? What is the meaning of that?"

"A curse was shot in my direction, Sir, at Professor Slughorn's gathering, but it missed my head," she said, leaving James out of the situation in case they were caught in the lie.

"And the attacker?"

"I never heard his voice or saw his face."

"Mr. Black?"

"I did it," he spit out quietly, the anger seething on his face. Lily tried to keep the smile off her own. "I sent the spell. It wasn't intended to hurt anyone, but it almost hit her. I was just trying to get a laugh by making Professor Slughorn drop what he was holding."

Lily almost scoffed aloud at Black's slithering out of the situation. Wasn't intended to hurt anyone? Right, and Lily was the Queen of England.

"I see. Mr. Filch, please escort Mr. Black to my office. Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. Surely you two could clean up after Mr. Black's mess? It would be greatly appreciated," he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Lily nodded as James agreed good-naturedly. Filch pulled on Regulus, but his feet were still firmly planted on the ground. James flicked his wand behind his back and both of them went flying. Filch growled as they both got to their feet and left for Dumbledore's office, with Regulus sending them a murderous look.

.

"I can't believe—"

"Not here!" he hissed at her, a finger pressing against her lips. She pulled back and nodded.

"Let's get started then, yeah? We're even cleaning up after our own prank," he said quietly, just loud enough for her to hear.

"Dumbledore knew," she said, disregarding his previous warning. He frowned slightly. The old man did seem to know they were the ones responsible. Had it been too obvious? "And the arse is probably going to get away with it anyway," she said as she cleaned up the water.

James hoped that Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot had gotten away under the cloak. They were all basically grown men and fitting three of them under a one person cloak was difficult enough without moving. He and Lily had fit perfectly though, he had noted to himself, as he remembered how annoyed she had been at his 'limp'. He smiled to himself.

.

Lily had mixed feelings after they managed to get Regulus caught, even if he would probably get himself out of any real punishment with that silver tongue. But despite him not being properly punished, it still felt like she was doing something for a change. She knew it wouldn't correct Regulus' behavior, but at least she had somehow contributed slightly to making a Death Eater pay for his crimes, no matter how inconsequential.

At least that's what she told herself.

"You all right, Lily?" said James as Lily plopped herself onto their couch with a sigh.

She shrugged. "It went better than I was expecting, I think. At least we didn't get caught."

"Always a plus," James said, sitting next to her.

"He'll probably just get a couple detentions, though. 'Didn't mean for it to harm anyone'," she said, scoffing. "Dumbledore wouldn't buy that, would he?"

"He has no choice. Reg is a good student, a Prefect and on the Quidditch team. There's not really any evidence to say he did it purposely."

She sighed in frustration. "Whatever. At least I did something. Put a criminal behind figurative bars."

James raised his eyebrows. "Lily Evans, crime-fighter extraordinaire. Suits you."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't ruin it," she said.

He laughed. "You're quite good at it."

"What?"

"Making mischief," he said, his hazel eyes twinkling. Lily couldn't help but stare at his face. His straight nose, the faint stubble on his equally sturdy jaw line and the lips that were quirked up in a smile at her.

"It's not mischief if you're the good guy," she responded, looking away from his face.

"I've been trying to tell you that for _years_, Evans," said James sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"The difference is that _you_ were never the good guy," she said, reaching out and pushing his chin away gently. Her fingertips lingered a moment longer and she blushed when he stared at her, his eyes boring into hers.

"You know, I've been feeling a bit useless these past few days," she said, looking away from his piercing gaze and distracting herself with her own chatter. "With You-Know-Who doing whatever he wants, it's a bit hopeless, isn't it? I know today probably was the most inconsequential thing in the entirety of it all, but I chose a side, right? I made a statement. I know it's stupid, but you helped me do that. So thank you," she said, flicking her eyes back at him and giving him a smile.

"You're an amazing witch, you know that, Evans?"

He was smiling warmly at her, his hazel eyes swirling with comfort and understanding. All she wanted to do was wrap herself in his arms and cry until the tears would no longer come.

"And you're not as big of an arse than I thought you were," she said, going to stand up and leave before more ridiculous thoughts popped into her mind.

"Where are you going?" he said, grabbing her hand, sounding stricken. "We're having a conversation."

She tried to ignore the physical contact. "I have an essay to write, James," she said.

"Ouch, rejected for an essay. I've hit a new low."

She pulled her hand from his and turned. "We can't all be under-achieving Quidditch stars," she said, regretting it as soon as it left her mouth.

"And not everyone can be an over-achieving sticks-in-the-mud," he shot back, a sudden look of anger on his face.

She crossed her arms over her chest, hiding how much that had hurt. But she had started it. "Great, glad we got that on the record!"

Lily stormed off, unsure of the turmoil going through her mind right now. She should just stop, turn around and apologize, knowing it would just get worse if she left now, but her feet just kept moving.

"Where are you going?" James' voice shouted at her as she was about to shut her door. She turned and found him standing by the couch, his fists clenched and an angry frown on his face.

"To be a stick-in-the-mud, what's it to you?" she responded angrily.

"Merlin, you're so frustrating!"

"_I'm_ frustrating?" she exclaimed.

"Extremely!" he said, striding towards her. "It's like you want this partnership to fail! Don't you at least want to try? Every _bloody_ day has been a _bloody_ battle with you, Evans! I sit with you at breakfast and you leave. I save your bloody life and you shut me out. We're having a pleasant conversation and you leave in the middle of it and then insult me! You're fighting this, and for the life of me, I can't understand why!" he exclaimed, breathing heavily, standing only a foot away from her.

She glared at him, resenting the fact that his words were true and hating that she had really done all those things. "You don't know me, Potter," she said quietly, not knowing what else to respond with.

"Yes, I really do. You're a _bloody_ fortress!"

"Excuse me?"

"You have walls around you greater than Azkaban's, for Merlin's sake! Every time someone ever wants a peek in, you go into lockdown! It's impossible to get close to you without the fear of Dementors wanting to suck the soul out of you. I just want us to get along and you are refusing to participate!" he said, his eyes wild with anger, his hands and arms flailing as he spoke.

Lily stared at him, her heart breaking at his words. She may have started it, but he'd over stepped. She was like a Dementor, yeah? She'd show him Dementor.

"You are the world's biggest idiot, Potter," she said icily, turning on the spot. "I am going to make your life a living Hell, understand?" she said, walking into her room without waiting for a response and shutting the door quietly in his face.

.

"Shit," he swore as he paced in his bedroom. He'd gone too far, and he'd known that as the words were leaving his mouth, but he couldn't muster the energy to just clamp his mouth shut. He really was the world's biggest idiot.

James knew he had really hurt Lily's feelings with all that stick-in-the-mud/Dementor crap, and he knew what Lily Evans was like when her feelings were hurt. She didn't cry or whine or pout—no, Lily Evans transformed into an evil, blood-lusting witch with the capacity to castrate any man with the look in her killing-curse-colored-eyes. James shivered and swore again.

He was panicking and he knew apologizing wouldn't help him now. He hastily grabbed some parchment and a quill and scrawled a messy letter.

_Mary and Alice,_

_James Potter here. I've messed up. I've seriously fucked up and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Lily and I had an argument and I may have said some unkind words and instead of shouting back at me, she calmly called me an idiot and then threatened to make my life a living Hell. Help me, please. I don't want to ruin something that's barely had the chance to breathe yet. HELP._

_James Potter._

He opened his window and whistled as loud as he could for his owl from the Owlery. He wondered if Puddlemere could hear him from all the way over here, but the owl had never failed to come to him when he called. He waited as patiently as he could, and exhaled loudly when the barn owl appeared in his room with the flapping of his great wings and yellow eyes. James hastily tied the letter to his outstretched claw and sent him off.

"Hurry now, Pud, it's urgent," he said, giving the bird a treat before he left. He continued to pace as the minutes ticked on. He heard a bang from Lily's room, and he started pacing even faster. What could be taking so long?

After about a century of waiting, Pud flew into his room with a response.

_James,_

_What exactly did you say?_

_M and A_

That was it? Merlin.

_Well, we may have exchanged some unkind insults, er, and then I called her frustrating, and accused her of purposely sabotaging this partnership and acting like she wanted it to fail from the start. Then I compared her to Azkaban, saying that anyone who wanted to get close would have their soul sucked out of them by Dementors. Yea. I fucked up. I know. Just help me, please. _

He sent the response back, feeling his heart sink with every flap of Puddlemere's wings. He knew this was the end. There was no way she'd forgive him this time.

He paced some more, and then played with his stolen Snitch for a while, but then put that away when it began to stir some old memories. Twenty minutes and still nothing. Shit.

"Finally!" he yelled when Puddlemere came back. He quickly unrolled the lengthy bit of parchment and read.

_First mistake: you accused her of not trying. Lily tries AT EVERYTHING. Except maybe Quidditch, but she's accepted that she's rubbish eons ago. Never, ever, ever insult Lily's ability to try. EVER. She will eat you alive, Potter. And trust me, she doesn't need to try for that one. She will. Effortlessly._

The handwriting changed and James assumed this was Alice speaking now.

_Secondly, um, your metaphors are very imaginative and creative, but also VERY hurtful. Dementor, James? Come on. Lily Evans is the opposite of a Dementor. And I think you know that very well. So, we aren't going to lecture you (any more), but for now, our advice is to just leave her to get over it. I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but she will get over it. We'll give you a full assessment of the situation tomorrow. _

_(But seriously, James! Dementors!)_

James swore some more and paced some more and then stormed out of his room and rashly knocked on Lily's.

There was no noise from her bedroom until the door slowly crept open and Lily's emotionless mask appeared.

"Lily," he said, lost for words. She didn't even look angry.

"James."

"Er. You don't look angry."

"Good observation," she said, even lacking sarcasm. James was severely confused.

"Well, I came here to apologize…"

"No need. I'm not angry. See?"

"I heard a bang earlier…"

"Dropped my textbook on the floor accidentally."

"Right. Well…"

"Is that it, James?"

"Why are you calling me James?"

"Because you're my co-Head, aren't you?" she countered, still no snideness, or anger or sarcasm present in anything she said. Just cool, calm and collected.

"Well, I am sorry about everything I said—"

"I'm over it. Goodnight, James," she said, closing the door and leaving him standing there with his mouth open.

Who was that woman and what did she do with Lily Evans?

* * *

**Author's Note: Short chapter for the amount of reviews I'm getting (which is only one, for three chapters...!). Come on, people! I know some of you have something to say! I encourage reviews about things that you didn't like, what you would have done differently, what seemed unrealistic or implausible, which is probably a lot in this chapter. Some other things may be, for example, if you want more description, _less_ description, typos, stupid sentences, etc. Or, you know, I would also appreciate nice reviews as well. ;)**

**You're all amazing and I hope you have a great day. **


	5. Chapter 5: Enigma Lily

**5: Enigma Lily**

"So?" James ran up to Mary and Alice at dinner as soon as Lily left the table.

They looked at James with strange expressions and he felt his chest fill with panic.

"What?" he said, prompting them to explain.

"We're not sure what to tell you," Mary said.

"What do you mean?"

"We've never dealt with this Lily before," Alice said.

"Beg your pardon?" James said. How could her best friends not know what was going through Lily's mind?

"We've never seen Lily act like this. She doesn't even seem angry. It's like she's completely gotten over it…" Alice mused, thinking aloud.

"Did you drug her, Potter?" Mary asked, her eyes narrowed. "Slip her a potion?"

"WHAT?"

"She's acting like she's been drugged," Mary said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, outraged that she would even entertain the thought.

"It's like she's high in the clouds and doesn't give a care in the world. It's like she's _high,_ Potter. Drugged."

"I didn't—"

"Of course you didn't," Alice said, rolling her eyes at Mary. "We're just saying, we're not exactly sure what's happened. I mean, usually when you say the things you do," she gave him a stern look, "she gets all defensive and goes on a yelling spree, right? Well, I guess _you_ know this part better than I do."

"Yeah, that's where it was heading last night. And then after that particularly mean thing I said, she just sort of shut down. It was terrifying."

Both of them gave him sympathetic looks, neither of which were encouraging.

"Just wait it out, James. Maybe something will change."

But nothing did. Days passed and Lily was still a ghost of her normal, radiating self. James was way past thinking rationally at this point, feeling entirely responsible for Lily's demise. He was so far gone, he was even considering doing what Sirius had suggested earlier that day.

"I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it?" Sirius reasoned as Remus simply shook his head in passive disagreement.

"Explain again, Padfoot? How exactly does this work?"

"Well, the Shrew has got to be in there somewhere, right? All of this is just an elaborate scam to just make your life a living Hell, as she put it. As a side note, I think she's doing a wonderful job. Knows you like the back of her hand—"

"Sirius!"

"Right. So, what you do is purposely do things that would enrage her. Like, you know, dye her hair purple, and all that third-year stuff we did. There's no way the Shrew will be able to stop herself from yelling at you until you piss yourself crying. But _that_ you can deal with, right?" Sirius said with a grin that wasn't exactly reassuring.

James pulled on his hair, knowing this was not the answer, but not knowing what else to resort to.

"Remus? Pete? What do you think?" he asked, praying that one of them had a better idea.

"It sort of makes sense, James," Peter supplied. "I'd even turn shrew-y if you turned my hair purple. Lily won't be able to resist yelling at you."

"It's complete bollocks, and you know it," Remus said calmly. "Lily is not the type of person to appreciate that kind of stunt. After all you've been through, pulling third-year pranks on her is _not_ going to get you back on her good side. It's simple _logic_, James."

"But you're not giving me another solution, Moony! I don't know what else to do. She's not ignoring me, or yelling at me, she—she's being civil!"

"Merlin, Prongs. If this is what her civil behavior resorts you to, I dread to see what her enamored behavior turns you into," Sirius added. "If that ever happens," he said under his breath.

"She's being civil, but she's not being Lily!"

"So, Lily is not a civil person to begin with?" Sirius said with a sly grin.

"Sirius, imagine if you shit in your mum's garden and then she baked you a pie. Does that make sense to you?"

"So, now you're comparing Lily to my _mother_? You sure you're all right in the head, mate?" Sirius said, cackling in full.

"Shut up, Sirius!" he yelled angrily. He set himself up for that one. "Remus!" he said, turning to the werewolf for more useful council.

Remus just shrugged at him. "Sorry, Prongs. Not sure what else you want us to do. Alice and Mary haven't even gotten much out of her."

So, James, fool as he was, was currently setting up a prank inside their Head Common Room and seriously wondering what kind of punishment he was going to receive for this type of betrayal.

He wasn't even going to use magic for this one. He was just going to do old-fashioned Muggle pranking with a gallon of purple paint hanging above the door. Merlin.

.

Lily sighed as she walked back to her dorm. Being not angry was exhausting. And more aggravating than being angry. Every time he looked at her, it took all of her strength not to explode and give him grief right there. But this new tactic seemed to be working, even if it was exhausting. It would teach him not to compare her to a Dementor ever again.

Lily said the password to their Common Room and opened the door. She was shocked to see Potter standing there, his wand pointed upward. She quickly masked her surprise for indifference.

"James. What are you doing there?" she asked him. He looked nervous. She hoped he wasn't planning another apology again.

"Lily! You're back! How was your day?"

Again, she masked her suspicion and answered, still standing at the doorway. "Fine. How was yours?"

"Pleasant, thanks for asking."

"Okay," she said, walking into the room. James smiled at her. She remembered not to frown.

"Why are you standing there?" she asked him before going to her room. That's when she noticed the bucket hanging above the door. And understood why his wand was pointing upward.

"Umm…"

"James, what is that?" she asked him, her voice flat even though every drop of her blood was boiling.

"What?"

She flicked her wand and the bucket tipped, leaving an enormous puddle of purple paint on the carpet. Her face twitched, but with tremendous effort, she didn't betray her outrage.

"Was that for me?" she asked him evenly.

"Erm…"

"Wonderful welcome home gift, Potter," she said. Damn, she slipped.

The corner of his mouth quirked up at the tone of her voice and the use of his last name again. She stopped herself before she could curse aloud.

"Wasn't it? I thought so too, Evans," he said, walking closer, cleaning up the spilled paint with a lazy flick of his wand.

"Very considerate," she said through her teeth.

"Are you angry?"

"Of course not, James," she said. She forced a smile at him. "I was just thinking about how much I wanted to take a bath in some purple paint, wouldn't that be fun—"

Lily was cut off when James moved his face closer to hers. She stopped talking and really forced herself to concentrate. She would not let him get to her. This was her game, not his. Her rules, she wins.

"You'd look terribly good in purple," he said, his breath mixing with hers. He was smiling at her, in that flirty, mischievous way, but she wasn't going to let him win. She held her ground.

"It would clash with my hair quite fashionably, I think," she responded.

"Hmm," he said, grabbing a strand of her hair and twisting it errantly in his long fingers. "Hey, Lily?"

"James." His mouth was moving to her ear and she stopped breathing. How long could they keep this up?

"I'm going to kiss you now," he whispered in her ear, effectively stopping her heart and any movement of her limbs.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't think. All she could process was that James was in front of her, his rough hands cupping her face and his lips were moving down, getting closer to hers…

"What do you think you're doing?!" she exploded, taking five steps backwards, her face red and huffing. He was frozen in the position she had left him in, hands holding the air in front of him where he head had just been.

"I knew you were in there somewhere," he said with a wicked grin that made her blush down to her toes. Of all the things to get her to break, it was the threat of a kiss that got her. She cursed herself in her mind. Why was it making her so angry? She could have simply moved away calmly and then gone back to her room, the act continuing from that point, but no, she had to blow a fuse.

"You can't just go threatening to kiss people!" she said angrily. It was all she could do to keep from ripping his hair off. She clenched her fists at her side, pretending like she was squishing Potter's eyeballs in them.

He stood straight and gave her a questioning look. "Afraid I wouldn't follow through, Evans?" he said suggestively, his eyebrow raised along with the corner of his mouth. He put a long finger to his chin and tapped it, drawing her eyes back to his lips.

Her face became even redder than it was and she could feel the steam coming out of her ears. "You're such a ponce—"

"Well, what did you expect me to do!" he yelled back, suddenly. She blinked at him in surprise. "You don't talk to me for _days_! Days, Lily! And when you do, it's with this false indifference that literally rips me to shreds. Anything is better than that. You've successfully made my life a living Hell, although, how you knew _that_ would drive me insane is past me, but you've gone and done it. Congratulations. Now can we go back to being enemies, or friends, or frenemies, or whatever the bloody hell it was that we were? I'm sorry for everything that I said and I wish I could take it all back but I can't. So please. Please, please, please, can you just stop now?" he said, his glare transforming into a plea as he finished his rant.

Lily took the pause to finally look at how haggard James had become over the past week. She hadn't realized earlier because of how determined she was not to stare at him too long for fear of letting loose all the terrible things she wanted to say. But truly, there were more obvious bags under his hazel eyes and his hair looked more out of control than it normally was. Even his stance seemed to radiate less of the confidence he usually carried around.

He was staring at her staring at him and his eyes bugged out a bit. "Well?" he said, desperation clinging to his words.

It was then when Lily began to laugh. It was only a giggle at first, but the small noise became louder and louder as she continued to think about not laughing. It was really not the best time, she said to herself, but standing there watching him, she couldn't really help it.

"What are you laughing at?" James said, a small smile forming on his lips. She finally sat on the ground and continued to giggle to herself. This really wasn't all that funny.

"You really are mad, aren't you?" James said, letting out a short laugh before sitting down beside her. "Do I need to call Pomfrey? Should she be prepping for a Mungo's visit tonight?"

"Shut up," she said through her laughs. Her eyes were watering now and she wiped them amidst her giggles and watched James.

"Are you going to let me in on the joke? Or am _I_ the joke?" he said, his amusement at her worn off now and his face serious.

"I'm not sure," she said, the laughter dying down a bit as he regarded her warily.

"You're not sure of what?" he said, frowning.

"Why I'm laughing."

"Obviously because something is funny," he answered. "So is it me? Or something I missed? Come on, Evans. You owe me half an explanation at least."

She shrugged, wiping the errant tears from the corner of her eyes. "I guess I was just laughing at myself. I was being ridiculous, even by my own standards, but you just stood there and took it," she said, laughing again.

"I see. So you're laughing at my absolute push-over qualities, is that it?" he said, laughing a little, but she could hear the seriousness of his question.

"You're not a pushover, James," she said, scoffing lightly and smiling.

"You push me over all the time."

"Only because you let me. I haven't the faintest idea why, though," she answered.

He didn't say anything, but just looked at her. She felt a chill go through her spine, replaced quickly with a warm blush that went through her whole body. She looked away, her heart racing and her palms sweaty.

"It's the hair," he said faintly. She looked back up at him and the look was gone. "It's so bloody red, any fool would yield immediately. They don't call you gingers 'fiery redheads' for nothing. It's a warning to the rest of the blokes out there," he said, the humor coming back to his voice.

She had nothing to say yet because she was still recovering from the shock of his eyes. She just shot him a quick, awkward smile and stood.

"I should dye it then?" she said, for lack of anything else to say.

"Don't be ridiculous, Evans," he said, standing up next to her. He was sporting the same Marauder grin that was always on his face and she felt a strange squirm in her chest. "If you ever dye your hair any other color, I'll just hex it back to red," he threatened. "And it won't be nearly as nice as it is now."

"You were the one who was trying to dump purple paint on me," she said, ignoring the compliment and coming back to safer territories. "I take that as some sort of sign, Potter."

"Nonsense. That was just a trap to lure the Lily out of you," he said, grinning again. "It worked at least."

She chewed her lip and looked away. That wasn't what had brought her back out, she thought to herself. It was what happened afterward…but she wasn't about to bring that topic up _now_.

"Right. Glad things are back to normal. I'll see you around, right, Evans? And not last week's Lily Evans, I want the normal one, okay?" he said, moving towards the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, checking her watch quickly. "It's almost curfew!" she yelled.

"That's more like it, Evans!" he said, laughing. "I've missed that, it's strange to say. And don't worry, I'll be back soon," he said, winking as he left the Common Room.

Lily closed her eyes, clenched her fists and then sat right back on the ground where she had been sitting just moments earlier. What the bloody hell had just happened?

.

James walked as quickly as he could to the Quidditch Pitch without breaking out into a run. And he wanted to run. He wanted to fly.

The cold wind hit his face and he finally allowed himself to let go. He ran to the Quidditch Pitch, but he couldn't explain why. All he could think of was Lily Evans and her damn, stupid, bloody, stinking, annoying, red hair. Bloody hell.

He grabbed his broom from the locker room and jumped on it as soon as he left the shelter. He felt the air in his hair, blowing past him like cold arrows scratching his face and neck. He ducked down and increased his speed, diving and rising and looping.

He swore under his breath as he narrowly missed hitting one of the goal posts and took it down a notch before he ended up as a splatter of guts on one of the spectator keeps. He flew more leisurely, taking the time to loop around the field, letting his grip loosen on the broom.

Remus had been right. He wasn't thinking logically and it nearly lost him his secret. Of course, she probably knew by now, with all the hints he had clumsily dropped in that awkward encounter.

She hadn't recoiled at least, he desperately reasoned. If she had known, she hadn't shot him down as blatantly as she had before. And that had to be an improvement, no?

But then again, he hadn't explicitly asked her out to Hogsmeade, had he? It was all between the lines, had she cared to read it. He hoped she hadn't.

_But I almost kissed her_, he thought, pulling on his hair as he looped the pitch again. She'd pulled away then. And that had hurt, but he could hardly blame her. It wasn't the most romantic of situations. _At least she didn't slap me or turn my bits green, or something equally disturbing. _

"James Potter, you are a ponce," he said to himself as he flew back down. "Stop being ridiculous and just face her like a man," he said to himself, starting for the locker room. He quickly showered and ran back up to the Head's Wing. He wondered if she was still in the Common Room.

James was conflicted. He had left things on quite uncertain grounds and he wasn't sure what exactly he was supposed to do now. He took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

"Go away, Potter," she said lazily through the door.

He just knocked again.

"What is it?" she yelled with the door still closed.

"Can you just come out here?" he said, frustrated. He heard her angry footsteps and put on his best smile and waited for her to turn the doorknob.

"What?" she said, opening the door. His smile failed when he saw her face was covered with a green paste and her hair was tied back into a tight ponytail. He faltered.

"What is that?" he asked, reaching out to touch her face.

She slapped his finger away and put her hands on her hips. "Facial mask. Want to join?" she said, rolling her eyes and returning to her bed with the door open. James took a tentative step forward into her room. He tried to remember why he was here.

"What does it do?" he asked her, distracted by the green muck on her skin.

"It's relaxing—Merlin, Potter, what do you want?" she asked him.

"Oh, right," he said, unable to help himself as he looked around her room. He didn't answer her question as he moved towards her desk. He wondered when she would kick him out, but so far, she wasn't protesting to his looking.

Her desk was cluttered with textbooks and parchment as expected, but he also found pictures of people he didn't know plastered on her walls and a lot of broken quills forming a messy pile in one corner.

"I'm still mad, you know," she said absentmindedly.

"Beg your pardon?" he said, turning around to face her.

"The past week I've been trying a technique my sister used to use on me, but it's not nearly as satisfying as being properly angry, so I haven't had the proper chance to get over it," she said, looking at him. Her green eyes blazed fire and he took a tiny step back.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Yelling at you doesn't seem to work. I was trying to be mature by pretending it didn't bother me, but it really did. And besides, it was semi-effective on getting you to apologize, but not for me. So I'm not going to revert to _that_ Lily, as you put it, but I'm still angry, Potter. So say your peace and then leave me alone."

James gulped, but then recovered his courage. He was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake. And she was wearing a green mask. Come on, get it together, Potter!

"I did come here to apologize," he started. She waited expectantly. "But, I've just realized that I'm done apologizing," he said suddenly, his words calmer than he felt. "We're equals, Lily, and I expect to be treated as such. Like you said, I let you push me around, but no more. You owe me an apology as well."

"For what?" she said, outraged.

"For making it so difficult for me! Look, I am really sorry for all the mean things I said, and I wish I could take them back with all my heart, but I was driven to say those things for a reason, don't you think? I know I'm not the most ideal person to work with, but you're stuck with me, so please make more of an effort, yeah?" he said, hoping he wasn't making all this worse. He should have just apologized and left.

She looked conflicted with anger and guilt, but finally the guilt won out. He let go of the breath he was holding.

"You're right, Potter," she said, her face surprised like she couldn't believe she was saying the words herself. "I'm sorry. For making it difficult. I'll try to make an effort, all right?"

He smiled, more for himself, but he directed it at her as well. "Thanks. Apology accepted."

"Now get out of my room before I curse you back to the Hell you were born in," she said, pointing a finger at the door.

"Hold on now, I didn't get a proper look around—"

"Out, Potter!" she yelled, getting up from the bed and looking more menacing than he thought anyone wearing a facial mask could look. He ran out with a smile on his face.

"But just so we're clear," he said, putting a hand out to stop her from slamming the door in his face. "No more pushing me over, all right, Evans? We're a team, right?" he said, sticking out a hand for her to shake.

She scowled at him, then rolled her eyes. "Yes, all right. Can you let go of the door now?" she said, pushing at the door with no luck.

"Hand."

When it was obvious he wasn't going to relent, she gave him her sweetest smile and spit directly into her hand before putting it in his. He made a face of disgust, but she wouldn't let go.

"Eurgh! What do you think you're doing?" he said, slightly disgusted.

"Oh, but you're so easy to knock down, Potter," she said with a wicked grin. "Now leave me alone!" she said, releasing his hand and shutting the door on his face.

He stood there, staring at the spit in his hand and wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into.

.

James Potter respected her wishes and left her alone for her to get over her anger. She was over it a couple days ago, but he still left her alone. She wondered if she had been too harsh.

"Bloody hell," she said, the tip of her quill cracking under the pressure and making a messy ink splatter in the middle of her paper. A couple second years in the library looked up at her curse word and she smiled at them apologetically. She wiped the spare ink from the quill and stuffed it in her bag, while searching for another one.

"Need a spare?" a familiar voice said. Lily looked up and saw Sev's unsmiling face staring back at her, a spare quill in his hand.

Her eyes narrowed as she took it and tried not to protest when he sat down across from her. It was as good a time as ever, she supposed.

"Are you ready to tell me what you're up to?" she said, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back on the chair. The quill he offered sat on the table in between them.

"I told you, I wasn't involved," he said, his face grim.

"You've gotten better at lying to me. Is that a class they teach you at Death Eater camp?" she said quietly, but firmly.

A flicker of anger passed over his face but it quickly vanished. "Lily, please believe me. I wasn't involved."

For a moment, she was sad. She remembered all the times they had spent together, her first real friend. He said he would never lie to her, but here he was, lying to her face without even a flinch. She desperately wanted to believe him, to give in, but the Gryffindor inside her stood her ground.

"What potion was it?" she continued, ignoring the hurt.

"I don't know!" he insisted.

"Why are you here?" she asked venomously. The second years looked over and she quieted her voice. "What do you want?"

"To apologize, Lil. That's all I've ever wanted."

She scoffed. "Goodbye, Severus. Don't speak to me again until you're ready to tell me what you know," she said, collecting her things and standing. "Thanks for the quill," she said, leaving it on the table and exiting the library with her chin lifted defiantly in the air.

She walked back to the Heads Common Room and sat on the couch. She could feel the tears coming on, but she stopped them. She promised herself she would shed no more tears for Severus Snape. He didn't deserve them. That's what her father had told her, the summer after fifth year. _No one is worth your tears, Lily. Not anyone._

"Lily," James said in greeting as he came out of his room. He nodded at her as he made his way to the door. "All right?" he asked her.

She nodded and smiled at him, still just sitting on the couch.

"You look like shit," he said, moving away from the door and coming closer to her, inspecting her face as he approached.

She laughed. "Great, thanks," she said, the tears almost through the gate. She knew if they got through now, she wouldn't be able to stop and she didn't want that to happen in front of James, of all people.

"Hey," he said, sitting on the couch next to her. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you—"

She laughed again, but it was too late. A couple tears leaked out and she raised her hands to catch them.

"I'm not _that_ vain, Potter," she said, chuckling through her tears. She hastily wiped at her cheeks, sniffling.

"What, then?" he said, his arm cautiously snaking around her shoulders.

"I'm fine, really," she replied, feeling her shoulders melt into his embrace.

This time, James laughed, and began to rub her back. "What's happened?"

"Nothing. I'm just a sad old maid with no friends and I just need a good cry alone and I'll be all right," she joked, but couldn't stop the tears that kept coming. Her throat felt tight and she fought to swallow, taking deep breaths.

"I've got nice shoulders, if you need them," he offered, his hand still rubbing her back comfortably.

"It's all right, Potter. I can manage. Don't you have somewhere to be?" she asked, blowing her nose in a tissue and wiping up the most recent getaways.

"It's not important."

She nodded, then continued to cry silently as he sat there and rubbed her back.

"Do you want to tell me why you're crying?" he asked her, offering her another tissue.

She took it and shook her head. "I told you, I just needed a good cry."

"Is that something girls do then? Just cry every so often for no reason?"

"Of course."

"Right."

He let her cry some more and then took his hand away from her back. "I know there's a reason you're crying and it's not because 'you just felt like it'. Come on, just tell me."

She groaned and pressed her palms into her eyes. "You wouldn't understand," she replied.

"I'd understand it more than 'just having a cry'. Come on, Evans, I'm not a complete idiot. Was it all the recent attempts on your life? Your anger at me just turned into tears? Your pet dog died? Or are you a cat person? Tell me, please."

"It's Sev," she said, her eyes still closed and hidden behind her hands. She didn't want to see the look on his face when she admitted that she was crying over him again. She didn't want to see the look of disappointment and disgust she knew she would see on his face when she said his name.

"I know you hate him. And I do too," she said, trying to justify her crying when he didn't respond. "But we were friends before. Best friends. He told me everything, and now, he's capable of lying to my face like nothing between us ever happened. And I guess I deserve his contempt, or whatever—"

"Stop," he said, pulling at her wrists. She removed her hands at his request and looked at him, her eyes raw and probably swollen. "You did nothing—I repeat, _nothing_—to deserve his contempt. No one is worth your tears, Lily. Especially not that conniving slime ball. Do you hear me?"

Lily looked at him, wondering how he could have possibly said those exact words to her, how he could have known.

"Lily? Hello?"

"Yes, sorry. I—thanks. I'm just going to—I'll see you later, okay?" she stood from the couch and gave him a quick smile, wiping her face dry.

"Wait, hold on, I wasn't done—"

"I'm not mad anymore, James. You don't have to tiptoe around me anymore," she added as a side note, annoyed with how he would leave the room every time she walked in.

"Wait, what? That's it? I sit with you while you cry and you're just going to leave now?" he asked her, completely confused and a bit annoyed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, I'm very grateful, James. I just—uh, remembered something and I have to get to it. Don't you have somewhere to be as well?"

"That doesn't matter—hold on, Evans—"

"Thanks, James," she said, giving him a quick hug before retreating to her room. "We'll talk later, yeah?" she said, closing the door.

"Lily—!"

She put her back against the door and slid down, sitting on the floor. Her heart was racing and she could barely breathe. She let out a small laugh. She wasn't sure why, but she wasn't sure how else she was supposed to deal with what was happening. She closed her eyes, crossed her arms around her belly, and laughed.

.

"You're late!" McKinnon yelled at him as he approached the Quidditch Pitch. He nodded at her and smiled, pleased that the team was already running drills without him. He knew he'd made good on making McKinnon Assistant Captain.

"Sorry, Marley. Head duties. Couldn't get away," he said, getting his gear on and joining the team in the air. She frowned, but didn't say anything further.

James broke up the drills and got the reserves up for a mock match as he refereed and watched for points of improvement. Even though a game ought to do him good, he needed to sort things out first.

It rattled his bones that Lily was still crying over Severus Snape. He understood the last time she cried was because of the stressful situation of nearly getting her head blown off, so he'd let it go. But now? What could he still possibly mean to her in order for her to cry that much over his friendship? He called her a despicable word in front of all those people. Under James' provocation, admittedly, but still, the word left _Sev's_ lips and she was still crying over the sod.

James blew his whistle as Hestia dropped the quaffle. They all stopped to look at him. "Unacceptable!" he shouted. She looked surprised at his outrage. "How long have you been playing Quidditch, Jones? You do not drop that quaffle unless a Dementor is flying towards you with its lips bared, do you understand me?" she nodded, her eyebrows angled angrily and James whistled again. "Again!" he shouted.

The practice went very much in that manner. He would watch, wait, work himself up into anger, then yell at one of his team members when they made a mistake. Overall, it was a pretty miserable practice for all of them, including James.

"What's the deal, James?" Marley said angrily as they walked back to the castle.

"What?" he replied.

"What's with the whole mean-captain routine? Billy's just a reserve, you didn't need to rip into him like that. The boy was nearly in tears."

"Reserves need to be just as good as the first line," he replied.

"No, they don't! That's why they're _reserves_," she said. He ignored her and kept walking.

"What's flown up your arse?" she asked him, catching up to his pace. "I thought I saw Fenwick catch the snitch earlier, but if not—"

"Shut up," he grumbled back at her.

"Whatever, James. I don't care about your problems. But if you keep yelling at your team members to get your anger out, no one's going to love you as Captain. So leave your domestic problems in the castle."

"Shouldn't I be the one giving those kinds of talks?" he asked her, slowing down his pace and making his voice sound friendlier. She smiled at him in understanding.

"You're not in the proper state. Besides, I plan to be Captain after you leave, so I'm just getting in my practice. From a Captain to a fellow, potential-Captain, how do you think I did?"

He ruffled her hair and smiled at her. "You're such a brat."

"You know I'm right though. So, is it Sirius, Remus or Peter who've got your knickers in a twist?"

He sighed. "Thought you didn't care about my problems."

"Ah, Ms. Evans, then."

He gave her an annoyed look. "Marley."

"You know, I never understood her. She seems like a smart girl…"

"But?"

She shrugged. "Her head's just not all there, is it?"

He frowned at her.

"I mean, she's pretty, smart, witty too, I've heard. Can't she see you two are meant for each other?" Marley teased with a wide smile. "Practically made in Magical Heaven, the pair of you."

"Stop," he said.

"Just teasing, Cap'n. But seriously, what if she never comes around?"

"She will. Just—she will."

"And if she doesn't?"

James shot her a look.

"If she doesn't," Marley continued. "I'm always here."

James stared at the brunette. "What?" he said.

She shrugged, a faint blush painting her cheeks. James felt his heart crush with guilt. "Nothing. Anyway, I'll see you later. Remember, go easy on the blokes, they're just trying to impress their Captain," she said, waving and walking briskly away from him as they entered the castle.

James sighed and rubbed his face under his glasses. Marley was a great girl, and he was almost certain she had just confessed her feelings to him and then just brushed it off as if it was nothing. He felt guilty if he'd ever made her think they were more than just friends, but she knew what he felt for Lily. He sighed and ruffled his hair and made his way back to the Heads Common Room.

Lily was not in the Common Room when he arrived. He tried to listen to determine if she was in her room, or just not in the Heads Wing at all. He sighed, guilty again that he'd totally forgotten Marley for the moment in search of Lily. What if she never did come around?

He put his gear back in his room, throwing his dirty robes in the bin for the house elves. When he came back out, Lily was sitting on the couch reading a book.

He sat across from her and stared as she read. She looked up and pursed her lips.

"What?" she asked him.

"Do I get an explanation?"

"For?"

"What happened earlier?"

"I explained already."

"Why you were crying, yes, but not why you ran off like a loon afterwards."

She opened her book again and dropped her eyes. "I just remembered something that I had to do and I went to do it. And you were busy too, weren't you?"

Marley's angry expression popped into his head. "Not particularly."

"I know you had Quidditch practice, James," she said, eyes still focused on a page in her book.

"Head duties come before Quidditch," he quoted from McGonagall at the beginning of the term. Yet, McGonagall had said it with quite a strained face, so he knew she didn't really mean it. Besides, what James really meant to say was that _Lily_ came before everything, but that would have been a bit awkward.

She rolled her eyes, still frustratingly averting her gaze. "Consoling me while I cry is not part of your Head duties."

"You know, it would probably be easier if you just told me and then I could leave you alone with your book and it'd be done. Just like that."

She looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing at the center of her face. "Look, it's not something I'm comfortable sharing with you, all right? Please," she said, her eyes getting glossy.

"Fine," James conceded. "But you know that you can, right? If you ever want to. I'm a good listener, sealed with Remus Lupin's own stamp of approval."

She rolled her eyes again with a small laugh. "Right."

"I'm not lying."

"I believe you," she said, with another laugh. "You are a good listener."

"I feel like you're being facetious."

"Me? _Facetious_? Never," she said with a sarcastically serious face.

James smiled. "Name one time when I was not a good listener."

"Seriously, you want to do this?" she said, closing her book and getting a fiery glint in her eyes. "How about that time when I told you not to prank those first years when we were in second year—"

"Wow, you're starting from there?"

"You never specified a time period," she added snootily. "I can go earlier, if you wish."

"That doesn't count. That is an example of how I am terrible at taking directives. Not that I am a bad listener."

She scoffed. "Same thing."

"Is not."

"Fine, then that time in third year when I repeatedly told you that pranking is not an acceptable activity and you pranced around like an gnome on caffeine yelling, 'Na-na-na I can't hear you, Evans!' and then hexed my hair green—"

"When did that happen?" James said, laughing at the memory and enjoying the timber of her voice when it got excited.

She looked enraged and surprisingly a bit amused at the same time. "In third year! After you hexed Amos Diggory's backpack shut so he couldn't get his books out—"

"Oh, yes!"

"So you do remember!"

"Not about prancing around like, how did you say it? A gnome on caffeine?" he laughed, remembering the situation clearly.

"And hexing my hair green?"

"Er…" He'd been trying for the exact color of her eyes, but it was slightly off. Never tried a second time though. He could probably get it now with all the time he'd been spending with her.

"Ponce."

"Okay, so that proves that I was a dense troll when I was thirteen. Next."

"You're still a dense troll."

"With feelings, Evans. Next," he said, grinning at her and spreading his arms wide to frame the back of the couch.

She stared at him critically, then frowned.

"Oh, what's the point? You're just going to conjure up some new excuse anyway," she said, opening up her book with an annoyed expression.

"You just can't think of another example," he said with a laugh.

"I can think of plenty, I'm just not in the mood," she said, returning to her book with a reserved expression on her face.

James was stricken. He'd never seen Lily back down from an argument with him before. She would continue grilling him until he'd eventually agree with her and she'd be proven right. Never this, whatever this was.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked, wondering what was causing her to lose her will to fight.

"I told you earlier that I wasn't," she said.

"Okay," he said. "Do you want me to leave?"

"I don't care, James. I have to get through this Charms book before tomorrow," she said, curling up on the couch with her eyes trained on the pages.

"Have fun with that," he said, standing and deciding to go to the Gryffindor Tower. He needed to ask Mary and Alice some things.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Lots of views, not a lot of reviews! I hate those people who hold their chapters hostage for reviews, and I would never do that, but I really do like reviews! Even if you completely hate it, let me know! (With reasons and suggestions on how to make it better!) It would take you maximum 5 minutes. You already took the time to read these long chapters, you may as well leave a review, right?

For example, does anyone else think that Lily is a bit mean? She's not the nicest person, even though everyone raves about how Harry is so kind-hearted like Lily was. My interpretation is a bit different. Harry wasn't always that nice, and he could be a bit cold to those who weren't Ron or Hermione. And even to them, he could be rude and angry. Anyone agree? Disagree? LET ME KNOW! :)

Also, I am totally stuck on how to shape Peter. I don't know how much hinting is too much hinting, and so for now I've just been giving him one lines that show that he is somewhat supportive of his friends. I can sort of imagine all of the other characters' personalities in my head, but Peter I am lost. He's like a blurry rat in my mind.

Hoping everyone is having a great day!


	6. Chapter 6: Broken Quills

**6: Broken Quills **

As soon as James left the Heads Wing, Lily slammed her book shut and closed her eyes. Coming out here was a mistake. She should have just stayed in her room until dinner. But when she'd heard him come in, it was like a magnet was pulling all the iron in her body out into the Common Room. It made no sense to her, and she didn't even think about it for a moment, besides the time it took her to pick up a book as an excuse for why she was out there in the first place.

She couldn't even say that she wasn't pleased when he'd sat down and started a conversation so she didn't have to. Ever since _those_ words had come out of his mouth, Lily's internal struggle with herself was slowly turning into a clear winner.

"With feelings, Evans. Next," he had said, spreading his arms out beside him. She paused then, knowing she could keep going and going and that smile would always be on his face. And just when she thought things were going to get easier inside her confused mind, another wall shot up and she reverted back to her difficult self.

_It doesn't have to be this way_, she told herself. _I could just give in_. But then she shook her head and knew that that would never happen. Never _could_ happen. Giving in to James Potter would be like losing a part of herself that she wasn't ready to give up yet.

Part of her was glad he was gone, but the other wished desperately that he'd come back. The conflicting feelings were tearing the Head Girl apart. She'd never felt so unsure of herself before, except for when it came to Sev.

She'd been sure that ending the friendship with him was the right thing, and nothing he could say would ever change that, but she was unsure if there wasn't a way she could still save him. Part of her thought there was, but the other…

"_Did something happen with Severus, Sweetheart?" he father asked her a couple weeks into the summer after fifth year. _

_She smiled, but knew she could never keep a secret from her dad. "Sort of."_

"_Something bad?"_

_She nodded, the first tear slipping out of her eye. _

"_What happened?" _

_She told him the full story then, leaving out the bit with James Potter, although she wasn't sure why, and explained her fears of him becoming something that she knew he wasn't. But mostly she just cried because she had lost her best friend and she didn't know what she was going to do now. _

_Her dad nodded sagely throughout the recount, then handed her tissues and patted her back. "I understand that you're upset. But no one is worth your tears, Lily. Not anyone."_

Lily stood from the couch and went back into her room, feeling a draft in the Common Room that was chilling her bones. She rummaged in her bag and pulled out the quill she had broken right before her encounter with Sev, and threw it into the pile on her desk. She got out a fresh one from her stock and began to write.

.

"Hey, James. I think they're up in the dorm—"

"Not looking for them," he said, sitting down in front of Mary and Alice in the Common Room. Frank, Alice's boyfriend, was sitting with them and James nodded at him.

"Sorry, Frank, but do you mind if I have a word with these two? Privately?"

Frank looked at Alice, who nodded with a smile, and he stood up, smiling back at James. "Sure." He went to leave, tripping on the rug as he went, steadying himself with an embarrassed grin on his face. Alice smiled with only the deepest love on her face, which made James embarrassed to look upon.

"Well, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Mary asked, looking up from her magazine.

"Bit of an odd question, but what are you supposed to do, or say, when a girl cries?" he asked, feeling incredibly dim.

Both girls stared at him. "Who's been crying?" Alice asked.

"Er, Lily."

"Beg your pardon?" Mary asked, with a disbelieving laugh.

"She started crying earlier in the Common Room—"

"_Lily Evans_?" Alice said.

"No, Lily, the talking flower on my windowsill—of course Lily Evans!" James said, wondering why her best friends were behaving so idiotically.

"Lily Evans was crying?" Mary whispered.

"Isn't that what I said? In English? Multiple times?"

"James, we've never seen Lily cry," Alice said, looking a bit more frightened than James thought this situation deserved.

It was now James' turn to be surprised.

"You've never seen her cry?"

"No. I told you, not even when she told us her dad died—"

"Mary!" Alice hissed at her.

"I know about her dad already," James inputted.

Alice looked aghast. "Lily told you?" Voluntarily?" her voice deathly quiet.

James shot a look at Mary, wondering exactly what kind of friendship the three of them had. It was like a secret society of whispering and lies.

"She didn't, I did," Mary said, sounding contrite.

"_You_ told him?!" Alice exclaimed. This conversation was going nowhere.

"I know I probably shouldn't have, but—"

"Mary, how could you!"

"Don't you think he deserves to know? I mean, she cries in front of _him_, maybe it's a good thing he knows! Lily has issues, Alice!" Mary said, whispering with intensity.

"But, you had no right! It's Lily's information to share, you can't just go telling anyone—"

"Sitting right here, ladies," he said, holding up a hand in case they couldn't see him. "Can I be a part of this, too?"

"Sorry, James," Alice said, shooting a disappointed look at Mary, who rolled her eyes. "Please, continue your story. I'd like to hear the rest."

"Right, so she began to cry as I was going out the door, so I stopped and asked her what was wrong and sat with her. Then, you know, she told me she was crying because Snape was lying to her and she felt like he was disregarding their entire previous friendship. And so I told her to stop crying because he wasn't worth it. Then she ran off like I'd threatened to kill her cat or something. Or dog. Is she a dog or cat person—" James stopped his train of thought at the looks on Mary and Alice's face. "Right, and then when I came back to ask her why she ran off, she explained that she wasn't comfortable sharing it with me and then became a fortress again. So I came here to get some answers."

He wasn't sure he'd get them here anymore by the shocked expressions on their faces.

"Has this happened before?" Alice inquired.

"I've heard her crying in her room, and then I would knock, and she'd answer and tell me to go away."

"What's happening?" Mary said, almost to herself.

"Wait, so you're expecting me to believe that you two, her best friends for seven years, have never seen her _cry_?"

Mary laughed. "Silly James. Alice and I were never her best friends. Very _good_ friends, yes, but never her best."

James frowned. "How—"

"Mary is just bitter, James," Alice said calmly. "Lily's best friend has always been Severus. Mary and I have always been second to him."

James had nothing to say to that. "So she cried in front of _him_?"

"And you, apparently," Mary said, a bit sadly.

"Right."

"We're just glad she has someone she can confide in. We were always afraid that she would drive herself crazy with all the feelings buried deep. We assumed that anger was her outlet, since that was the one thing she never had a problem letting out," Alice said, smiling at James.

"So, I'm on my own."

"Except for maybe _Sev_," Mary said, a visible grimace on her face.

James squirmed, uncomfortable with being compared with that almost-Death Eater.

"Not even when they, er, broke up?" he said, for lack of a better term, cringing at the terrible thought of them dating in the first place. "Not even then, she didn't cry in front of you?"

"No, not even then."

"Hm."

"Sorry, James. I forgot what the issue was. Why did you come to see us?"

"Well, she was acting strange, almost like she was angry at me because of something I did, but I guess you can't help me with that, huh? She doesn't suffer from bipolar disease, does she?"

"Not that _we_ know of. Sorry, Potter, you're on your own," Mary said, opening up her magazine and hiding her face behind it.

Alice gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and James took that as a cue to leave. Well, that was a bust. And more than a little awkward.

.

Severus twirled the quill between his fingers, his eyes tracking the tip as it spun. Regulus was late in meeting him and he was trying to work up the courage for what he had to do.

"Severus," Black said as he entered, Avery lumbering in behind him.

The quill he was holding clattered out of his hand and he calmly picked it up, putting it in his pocket.

"We need to start on the next potion immediately—" Regulus began.

"Correction. _You_ need to. I'm done."

Regulus looked at Snape in shock, then began to laugh, looking too much like his brother for Snape's comfort. Even the mocking laugh was the same. "Have you forgotten, Severus? The Dark Lord has given this to you as a test, an act of loyalty, if you will. Pass this, and you're in."

"And if I don't want to be _in_ anymore?" Severus asked, a cold sweat erupting at the back of his neck. He already knew the answer.

Regulus smiled, baring his teeth. "There's no going back, Severus. You know too much now. Either you join us or…"

"Or what?" Severus snarled, daring him to say it. "Are you going to kill me?"

Regulus laughed again, swinging his head back as he did. "Not you, Snape. Your Mudblood-loving mother. Or, you know, maybe He'll make a family outing of it. Love of Mudbloods does seem to run in the family."

Severus reached for his wand, but Avery got his out faster and pointed it at him. Severus knew he could probably disarm Avery before the fool could get a word out, but Regulus was much quicker and he probably couldn't take out both.

Regulus smiled when he knew he had Severus trapped, confidently walking towards a desk and sat down. "So, when do we start, Professor?"

Severus closed his eyes, wishing he could take it all back, from the very start. But like the Sorting Hat had told him those years ago, he was never truly brave and would never make it in Gryffindor. He felt the quill in his pocket as he stood, silently apologizing to Lily as he got out his cauldron and the book the Dark Lord had provided for the task. He hated that his fingers twitched in anticipation for getting to work on the potion, even though he knew what it meant for his future. There was no going back from here.

"This time, wait until it is _light_ grey before it is moved."

.

Lily watched as Regulus and Sev walked into the Great Hall together at breakfast, talking in conspiring whispers on their way to Slytherin table. A fresh pang went through Lily's chest. They were going to try again, whatever it was.

"I'll be back," Lily said to Mary, Alice and Frank when she spotted James sitting at the end of the table by himself. Mary sighed, and Alice smiled at her and nodded. Frank continued eating his breakfast, blissfully unaware of what was happening.

"James," she said, sitting down in front of her co-Head as he read the Daily Prophet with a mug of tea in his hand.

"Lily," he said, looking up at her from his paper. "What's the occasion?"

"Regulus and Sev. They're going to try again."

James' eyebrows furrowed and he closed the paper. "How do you know? Did you talk to him again?"

"No, but they're discussing something, and I can just tell it's about that potion. Regulus, he got off without anything?"

"Detention for the next two months, but that's it," James said, taking a sip of his tea. Lily helped herself to some food.

"So, what are we doing?" she asked him.

"Having breakfast?" he said, lifting his fork and waving it in the air.

"No," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "About _them_. We need to figure out what they're doing. I can try getting Sev to talk to me again—"

"No. Don't go anywhere near him," James said sternly.

Lily frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I'm the one you come to when you're upset, and it upsets me to see you like that. So, I'd rather avoid that kind of distress, if that's all right with you," he said, taking a hefty bite of his eggs.

"That's not going to happen again," she said uncomfortably. He didn't look that convinced. "Besides, if something…unpleasant did happen, I could just go to someone else," she said, feeling naked under his inspecting eyes, like he was looking straight at her heart. "There's always Alice and Mary."

He continued to stare at her, like he was trying to figure out where each blemish on her soul was, and she squirmed. "Yeah, I suppose you could," he said.

They sat there awkwardly, both staring at their plates.

"So, any other ideas then?" Lily said.

"I don't know. Just be vigilant, I suppose. We can't just go around accusing them of brewing up dangerous potions. Like I said before, Reg is a Prefect. Teachers love him. And Snape, well he's just a crabby, spotty, potions genius. I guess it wouldn't be too farfetched to accuse him, but teachers love him too, for the life of me…"

Lily smiled at the description, but hid it behind her mug. "Where are the others?"

He shrugged. "Sleeping, I guess. Remus is feeling under the weather, and the other two need as much beauty sleep as they can get."

"Anything interesting in the paper?" she asked.

"More lies from Skeeter. Interesting fact, she hit on me in Diagon Alley in the summer," James said with a grin.

"You're lying! She's got to be at least ten years older than us!" Lily said, disgusted.

He shrugged, sporting a cocky grin. "What can I say? The ladies love me."

"Ugh, this was a mistake," Lily said, referring to eating breakfast with him, but making no move to leave as she took another sip of tea.

"She didn't even ask my age, just asked me if I wanted a drink at the Leaky Cauldron. Would have said yes too, if it weren't for Sirius, who wanted to look at the bloody motorbikes in Muggle London."

"I don't know which part of that sentence made less sense," Lily said, amused at the prospect of James and Sirius navigating Muggle London and still severely horrified at the prospect of Rita Skeeter and James on a date.

He laughed. "She's not terrible looking, that Skeeter woman. Terrible journalist though."

"The latter part we agree on, at least."

"We're making history, Evans."

"Did Sirius end up buying a motorbike?"

"He did more than that," James mumbled against his mug.

"What did he do?" she asked, almost dreading the answer. "Did he steal it? Drive it through a store shop window? Kill a cat with it? Or a dog?"

"He made it fly."

Lily stared at him blankly. "Figuratively?"

James laughed, shaking his head. "No, he used magic and altered it so that it would fly. Took him all summer."

Lily had a bite of her breakfast, more impressed than anything. "Wow. That's very technical magic he worked there. And most likely illegal."

"Is that turning you on, Evans?" Sirius' voice said from behind her as he sat down at the table next to her. "I could show you around on it, if you like," he said with a wicked grin.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Just impressed you could drive it straight without crashing is all, Black. Didn't know mutts could navigate very well."

"Well, I guess we're made for one another cause you're a bitc—"

"Morning, Lily," Remus said, sitting on her other side. "Is Sirius bothering you?"

"Nothing I can't handle, Remus, thanks. How are you?"

"Fine," he responded with a haggard smile. Even his clothes looked tired.

"Morning, Peter," she said.

"Hello, Lily." He smiled widely and waved, sitting next to James. Lily smiled at the misplaced boy, wondering what he ever did to get stuck with such friends as the Marauders. He could have led a quiet, quaint life with normal friends who enjoyed reading over pranking, but instead he chose the ruckus of these three.

"Well, I should really get going," Lily said, finishing her breakfast and smiling at James. "We'll continue this later, yeah?"

"See you," James said.

"Bye, Evans. Pleasant chatting with you," Black said with a mouthful of sausage. "Call anytime."

She rolled her eyes and walked back over to Alice and Mary's awaiting ears.

.

"I will never understand why you hate her so much," Remus said in Lily's defense. James stayed quiet, knowing he couldn't exactly take sides in this matter.

"It's a mutual hate, Rem. I wouldn't be so nasty if she wasn't."

"I highly doubt that," Remus responded. "Lily is a very defensive creature. She responds to her environment in a hypersensitive way. She wouldn't be so harsh if you didn't start it in the first place."

"I guess we're just stuck in an infinite loop, then," Sirius said, shrugging and taking another bite. "She called me a mutt, I retaliated. Fair game, if you ask me."

"Funny she said that," Peter said, giving the lads a scared look. "Do you think she knows?"

"Of course she doesn't," James said. "There's no way she could. But Sirius _is_ a mutt in all sense of the word, not just his other form. Anyone could tell you that."

"Hurtful words, mate. I'm a purebred at least."

"Right you are, Padfoot. A fact that you constantly try to dissociate yourself from," Remus said.

"Your werewolf hormones are making you crabby, Moony. I'll just ignore that insensitive comment because I know it's the furries speaking."

Remus shook his head and disappeared behind James' Prophet.

"Hey, Padfoot," James said in an effort to lighten the situation. "Remember when Rita Skeeter hit on me in the Leaky Cauldron?"

Sirius snorted. "She did not. She was asking _me_ out to drinks. She was hitting on _me_."

"She didn't even look at you, Pad," James said with a laugh. "She touched my arm!"

"Her hand was practically on my knee, ponce," Sirius said mid-bite.

"Delusional _and_ an arse," Remus muttered from behind his Prophet.

Sirius ignored him as Peter and James snickered.

"She isn't that attractive to begin with," Peter said, examining the photo of her on the Prophet.

"Let me tell you something, Wormy. If an older woman hits on you, that tells you two things. One, you are a really fit chap. Two, she is probably crazy and is potentially a serial killer. But only the first one is important and relevant to this conversation."

James laughed as Remus groaned. "Don't listen to him, Pete. He's the crazy serial killer if there ever was one," James said, patting his friend on the back as he smiled between the two.

"Is it gang-up-on-Sirius today? Or is everyone on the same arsehole-cycle now?"

"Class in fifteen minutes," James said, checking his watch. "You're not eating, Remus?"

"No," Remus said, keeping his face hidden behind the paper.

Sirius kept up his chatter with Peter encouraging it. James sighed and smiled, wondering what he'd ever do without them.

.

Lily was writing up her Transfiguration homework out in the Common Room after class when James walked in, whistling. She looked up and he smiled at her, walking straight to his room. Lily sighed quietly and continued to write.

She got through one more word before her quill tip snapped, spilling ink all over her homework. Lily swore, quickly pulling out her wand before too much of it was lost. She managed to salvage most of the information, but she would have to rewrite it. Another quill for the pile. It was accumulating quickly this year.

"What're you up to?" James asked, lugging his Quidditch gear out of his room and stopping for a chat.

"Transfiguration homework that's due tomorrow," she answered, rummaging through her bag for a fresh bit of parchment.

"Right. May need your help with that one," he said with a grin that told her he hadn't started yet.

"You can ask me specific questions, but I'm not showing you mine," she clarified.

"That's what I meant, Evans," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "We need to go over Prefect rounds as well, I reckon? After I'm done with practice?"

"That's as good a time as any, I suppose. What time will that be?"

"It's five now, so two hours practice, then we need to eat dinner, so maybe eight? Eight-thirty?"

"Okay, sure."

"Great, catch you later, Evans," he said, shouldering his bag and making his way for the door.

"Bye," she responded, taking a deep breath after he left. What was _wrong_ with her today?

She ditched the Transfiguration homework and got out the _Dark Potions_ book she'd borrowed from the restricted section of the library. She'd gotten permission from Slughorn after convincing him she wanted to do some light reading on the subject to see if she'd be interested in a career in Potions. He'd signed the slip without even reading which book she was interested in.

The tome was menacing itself, as if dark potions were used to create the very pages it was made of. She scrunched her nose as a small cloud of dust and a musky smell lifted from the front cover when she flipped it open.

The table of contents had terrifying captions, ranging from _mutilation_ to _insanity-inducing_ to _gut-disintegrator_ potions. She skipped over all of the murder ones and found the caption that read 'Explosives' and flipped open to the page.

She began to read through the potions, becoming more and more horrified by the ingredients and steps involved in brewing most of these. One even involved a _unicorn heart_, which she was sure was illegal, and soul-killing. _Oh, Sev. What have you gotten yourself into?_

"What are you reading, Evans?" James' voice said from above her. But it could have only been ten minutes…she checked her watch. 7:13.

"Shit! It's been two hours already!" she said, standing from the floor where she was sprawled out, the book in front of her. "I didn't realize…"

"_Dark Potions, _by Tobias Graneldine? What is this, Lily?" James said, picking up the book from the ground.

She sat on the couch, not realizing how tired her eyes were. She rubbed them as an excuse not to look at his disapproving expression.

"Light reading?" she tried, pathetically. He put the book on the coffee table loudly.

"Not for your Transfig homework, I'm assuming."

"Hey, I saw a chance to do some research, and I took it. Slughorn didn't even bother reading the slip for permission to access the restricted section. You were being unhelpful this morning so—"

"You're incorrigible," he said, sitting down next to her. He smelled like shampoo.

"Don't patronize me," she responded.

"I'm not!" he protested. "I just don't see what the use is of doing this."

"I guess you don't want to hear what I've discovered then?" she tempted.

He frowned. "Did you find anything?"

"Maybe."

"Sharing is caring."

"I haven't found out what potion it is—" James rolled his eyes to express the obviousness of her statement, "—but I do know that they probably aren't importing rare ingredients into the school. All the ingredients they are using have to be in Slughorn's stores, and since he allows me after school access to them, I know what he has."

James looked mildly curious. "And?"

"I've narrowed down the list of explosives to possibly ten different potions. None of which have black-to-grey transition, but knowing Sev, that shouldn't matter much. He was always more of an improviser than potions master. He'd be terrible at teaching, because most of the genius is in his mind and virtually unexplainable to anyone else."

"Can I ask you a favor, Lily?" James said suddenly.

"Er, sure."

"Can you stop referring to him as 'Sev'? That name is unfamiliar to me and it always takes me a second to understand whom you're talking about," he said neutrally.

"Would you prefer I called him '_Snivellus'_?"

"Just Snape is fine," he said, not responding to her angry tone.

She glared, but didn't retaliate.

"Can I see the list?"

She handed it over grudgingly.

"And none of the descriptions match? Not even the earlier steps?"

She shook her head. "But like I said, Snape uses potion books as more of a general guideline than an actual step-by-step instruction. No match does not necessarily rule out anything."

Lily felt it strange calling him Snape instead of Sev. It was almost like he was a different person. A different person she had no previous negative feelings about and could think about objectively without wanting to smash something.

"So that doesn't help us at all," he said.

"At least it's ten potions instead of three hundred."

"Yes, but what if it's not even an explosive? The explosive aspect of it could have been a side effect of it going wrong. And what if we're not even in the correct book? It's possible that none of these are the right needle because we're not even looking in the correct haystack."

"This was the only book about dark potions in the restricted area," she answered, only half responding to his challenge.

"And if they didn't take it from the library, because that would be sloppy?" James questioned. She knew he was right; they had nothing.

She sighed in frustration.

"Can I ask you something, Lily?"

"What?"

"Why exactly are you doing this?"

She looked at him like he asked her why her hair was red. "Because Regulus tried to kill me—"

"Yes, but I get the distinct feeling that there's another reason," he said, his face becoming as mask.

"What other reason is there? He tried to kill me."

"_Sev_?" he probed, his eyes narrowing the slightest amount to betray his stoicism.

"What about him?" she asked, her hysteria level rising rapidly.

"You've mentioned him three times in this conversation already, not to mention this morning. And every time you do, you add in the fact that you could probably get him to tell you something, like you want an excuse to talk to the scum. You've also not once mentioned Regulus, until I asked you why you were doing this."

"What are you getting at?" she asked, feeling her face get red and the ridiculous pressure of tears behind her eyes. Her voice was getting shaky, but James was not backing down.

"I think you're using Regulus as an excuse to actually prove something about Snape, or maybe even yourself. I just can't figure out exactly what that is yet," James said, his anger and disappointment finally breaking through at his eyebrows and mouth.

"You're wrong," she said quietly, not sure what else she could say because he was completely right, of course.

They both sat there, staring at each other angrily. Lily managed to contain her tears (for once), but neither of them said anything in return.

"I can't help you with this, Lily," he said quietly, breaking the eye contact and shifting it to the floor.

She set her jaw and took the huge tome in her arms, standing from the floor where she was sitting. "Fine," she responded, retreating to her room without a backward glance.

.

James wondered how many days it had been without having some sort of disagreement with Lily. This relationship was perilous at best. And they hadn't even gone over Prefect rounds. Shit.

It was selfish of him, but he really couldn't bear having to hear her go on about _Sev_ this, _Sev_ that, and then have to comfort her when he disappointed. And it was torture to know that he was the ultimately the cause of the end of their friendship, even though he knew she was far better off without him dangling from her like a parasite.

She was acting as if she was in love with Snape. And that fact, beyond all else, was why James couldn't help her.

.

"What are you working on?" James asked her as she was bent over a textbook in the library the next day. He sat down in front of her and her quill snapped. She groaned, tossing it unhappily on the table. She glared at him as an outlet for her problems.

"Sorry," James said, pulling out a parchment instead. "Finished the prefect scheduling we were supposed to do last night. Thought you might want to look it over."

Lily relented on the glaring since she had forgotten they were supposed to do that and he'd actually done something helpful. She looked down at it, studying the pairings and approved the matches.

"Looks good to me. Glad you didn't put Troy and Maria together. They've been having problems," she added after handing the schedule back to him.

"Oh," James said. "I didn't even know they were together. Pulled names out of a hat," he said, grinning at her.

She couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Lily thought that James tried overly hard to pretend like he didn't know things and act oblivious, but she knew better. But, it was also entirely possible that he'd picked names out of a hat just to get it done quickly.

"Is that it?" she asked him, packing the textbook in her bag and getting ready to leave.

"No," he said, pulling out a large book from his own bag. "You're not the only one with a teacher in their pocket," he said, unveiling a rather large potions manual. "Fancy some research?"

She narrowed her eyes. It was one that she hadn't seen in the restricted Potions section the last time she was there. "I thought you said you weren't helping me."

James cleared his throat, pushing the textbook closer to her. "I can't help you solve your own personal issues, but I can try to help in discovering what they're up to. No matter what your motives are, the fact remains that they are up to something, and as your co-Head, I believe I should be helping you figure out what that is."

"And if I don't want your help?" she asked.

He slid the book back towards him. "Suit yourself."

"Why are you really doing this?" she asked, putting her hand on the book to prevent it getting any farther away from her. "If you're sorry for what you said, you could just apologize instead of helping me," she said, trying not to sound condescending, but failing.

He stared at her evenly. "I'm not sorry for what I said. I still think every word of it is true. Like I said earlier however, I believe I should help in figuring out what they're doing. That's it."

She glared, and took the book from under his hands. "Fine. Common room. 8 o'clock. This is coming with me," she said, holding it in her arms and standing.

"You're keeping your broken quill?" he asked as she collected it and put it in her bag. "You know there are house elves for that, right?"

"So typical of you to get someone else to clean up after you."

"I've seen you leave your rubbish out in the Common Room all the time. You have no problem doing it then."

Her face heat up and she stood, deciding this was a good time to leave. "8 o'clock, Potter. Don't be late."

James let it go with a wave as she walked out, her head held high.

.

"Why are you doing this again, James?" Remus asked him as they made their way to the Head's Common Room as it neared 8 o'clock.

"Doing what?" James asked, his hands restless as they walked through the corridor. He tried stuffing them in his pockets to keep them still.

"Helping Lily try to save Snape," Remus asked bluntly.

"Cause I'm a sodding masochist, Rem."

"Right."

They walked in silence for a bit.

"Because I want to find out what Reg is doing even if I have to see Lily miserable every day. I also want to know why Snape is so bloody important to her. Also, some part of me wants to show her that Snape is a scum-bag, even if it makes her cry again. Because maybe eventually, she'll stop. I don't know, probably because I hate myself, if I'm being honest," James ranted, the words stringing together like beads on a necklace.

"Right. Masochism. Got it."

"_You_ don't have to do this though, Moony."

"I'm representing Sirius. He needs to know what's going on without being physically present because otherwise, he'd kill something. So yes, I need to be here."

"All right. Good sport." James fiddled with his tie. "I'm nervous. Is it weird that I'm nervous?" James said, standing outside the entrance to the Heads Wing.

"She's not going to be sitting there crying when we walk in, Prongs," Remus said in an uneasy tone, like he was actually expecting that.

"I know," he said. James said the password and opened the door.

Lily was sitting on the couch, but she wasn't crying, thank Merlin. Her hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, a wisp framing her face. Her fingers were at her lips and her eyebrows were puckered in attention required for reading. Her green eyes flashed up at them as they entered and a faint smile traced her lips.

"Remus, hello! Didn't know you'd be joining us," she said, closing her book and patting the spot next to her for Remus. "Hello, James," she said, as almost an afterthought.

He smiled, taking the armchair across from the sofa, exhaling deeply.

They got down to work, Lily moving to the floor as she spread out her notes in front of her. James, Remus and Lily disputed about possible uses for the potion, what the endgame could be, how Voldemort was involved and possible time lines.

"Let me just grab my other text book from my room—"

"Don't move, Lily!" James exclaimed. Their notes were arranged like paper pedals on the floor with Lily at the center. "You're going to disrupt it, let me get it."

She frowned. "Fine, it's in my bag, on the floor. If you take longer than ten seconds, Potter—"

"I promise to only steal one pair of knickers, Evans," he said with a grin as she flushed and crossed her arms across her chest.

He laughed, crossing the threshold into her bedroom. The smell of her filled his nostrils and he scanned the room for her bag. His eyes rested upon the pile of quills on her desk that he'd seen the last time he was in here. He walked over and picked up the top-most quill, recognizing it as the one she broke today in the library.

"Potter!" Lily howled from the Common Room. He smiled, stuck the quill in his pocket, and grabbed her bag from beside her bed.

* * *

**Author's Note: I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Lots going on.**

**Despite the sad amount of reviews, I plan to keep posting regularly until I run out of complete chapters. I'm currently writing Chapter 11, but it's taking a long time. I'm also not sure how much this fic is going to cover because I definitely want a Petunia Christmas scene in there, and maybe even Order scenes post-Hogwarts, but that means it'll be a long one. I may even start a second, continuation one for the post-Hogwarts stuff, but that depends on how much commitment I'm willing to put into this. Let me know your thoughts, or in other words, REVIEW. **

**Also, anyone know what family Alice is from? I always thought she was a Prewett, but then she would be related to Molly Weasley and I'm pretty sure that's not right. Let me know by REVIEWING. It's an extremely minor detail in the next chapter and I want to get it right. Maybe I'll just make up a family name and say it's pureblood. (Side note, did I already write that she was a Prewett? I may have.)**


	7. Chapter 7: Curses and Promises

**7: Curses and Promises**

James picked up the finalized list of potions they'd established last night along with Remus. "So, what's the plan for these? We're not going to brew them all, are we?"

"Of course not," she said, swiping the list back. "They're dangerous and I would like to keep all my fingers, preferably my head as well."

"I don't disagree, Evans. But that list is a bit useless without an action plan."

She chewed her lip, her eyes running up and down the parchment.

"Nothing for now. Mary and Alice are coming," she said, stuffing the list in her pocket and sitting down. "Joining us for breakfast, Potter?" she asked.

"Is that an invitation from Lily Evans?" James said, already sitting down in front of her. "The world _must_ be coming to an end."

"I get a bit loopy without my coffee," she responded, smiling at the approaching Alice and Mary.

"Well, for the sake of the world, let's keep you well caffeinated, Evans," he said seriously, pouring her a cup. She bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling at him.

"Morning," Alice said as she sat down with Mary. Mary's face was blank as she took the seat next to Lily.

"Tea, Mary?" Lily asked, knowing her friend's morning routine.

Mary didn't respond, just picked up her fork and stared at it. James gave Lily a questioning look, when suddenly Mary slammed the fork into the table. They all jumped and went silent as the fork twanged back and forth, its prongs stuck in the wooden table.

"Mary! Are you all right?" Alice asked her, putting a hand on Mary's shoulder.

Lily got a terrible feeling in her gut. Her eyes scanned the Great Hall and they found her target. Sev was reading a book, as usual, but Mulciber and Avery were snickering in plain sight, Mulciber's wand pointed in Mary's general direction. Lily put her hand on her wand, staring at the two Slytherins and trying to decide what she was going to do. It was happening again and she needed to stop it.

Mary picked up a plate, drawing Lily's attention, and threw it on the table. The plate shattered, causing stray pieces of glass to go flying. Lily wasn't quick enough to dodge it one of them and it slid past her cheek, leaving a fiery trail of blood behind it.

Several girls screamed and the teachers looked over. Lily stood on the bench, an impulsive call to action driving her to ignore Alice's and James' protests, as well as her own. She aimed her wand at Mulciber, her hand deceptively still, and sent a silent _Stupify_ his way. He dropped into his breakfast, as more people screamed and professors began to yell and converge upon the two tables.

"_Ms. Evans_!" McGonagall shouted, her flustered and outraged face coming towards her. Lily looked down and saw Mary blinking, coming out of Mulciber's curse.

Lily stepped down, ignoring McGonagall's increasingly louder yells to make sure Mary was all right. There was a cut on her hand from the broken plate, but otherwise, she seemed fine. James' face was a mask of shock and Alice was looking worryingly at both Lily and McGonagall.

"Professor, I accept all appropriate punishments for stunning Mulciber. My reason was to prevent him from doing further harm because he had Mary under an Imperius curse."

McGonagall sputtered, looking at the mess in front of her and the cut on Lily's cheek. "I beg your pardon?"

"Professor, we should get Mary to Madam Pomfrey," Alice added in, apparently recovered from the ordeal.

"Yes, Ms. Fortescue, you can take Ms. MacDonald to the Hospital Wing. Ms. Evans, you may as well come along," she said, her voice changing from concerned to stern when directed at Lily.

McGonagall's back was stiffer than its usual cordial stiffness as she consulted with Professor Slughorn, who wouldn't look Lily in the eye. They carried Mulciber out on a stretcher when the first_ Rennervate_ didn't revive him, and she caught a glimpse of Sev as they were leaving. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but she thought she saw guilt. It could have been her own bias, however.

"What the bloody hell were you thinking, Evans?" James asked, a wild glint in his eyes. He looked almost proud of her. She tried to push the feeling that elicited deep down inside.

"He's done it before. Back in fifth year. He put her under the curse and she wasn't herself for days. It was terrible. But he got away with it because they couldn't prove anything."

"How do you know it was him that time?" he asked in whispers.

"Every time he walks by, Mary gets distant. I've read a bit about the Imperius curse, and when done improperly, which I'm assuming he did, it can leave a sort of trace inside that person's mind. And Mulciber has made a mark on her and it tears me apart to see it. You saw how quickly Mary returned to normal as soon as Mulciber was out. And this morning, they were _laughing_, like it was a _joke_—"

"You did well, Lily," James said, putting a hand to her shoulder. "McGonagall's going to tear into you, but you did good."

She felt her face warm and she nodded, unsure of how to respond.

They reached the Hospital Wing and James tried to blend in since he hadn't been invited by McGonagall to be there. McGonagall ensured that Mary was well established with Pomfrey and let Lily's face be treated before they discussed punishments. Dumbledore wasn't here, which Lily took as a good sign.

Pomfrey rennervated Mulciber with difficulty, and Lily was pleased to see he was more than a bit drowsy. She tried not to smile at his discomfort.

"Ms. Evans, fifty points from Gryffindor, and you will serve ten detentions as punishment," McGonagall said gravely. "This is not the sort of behavior we tolerate from any of our students, _especially_ Head Girl, and be thankful that I do not demand Professor Dumbledore to strip you of your title. If another incident of lesser caliber were to happen from now on, be sure that your robe will be one embellishment short. Am I understood, Ms. Evans?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Now, please explain why you decided to _stun_ Mulciber in the middle of _breakfast," _she said, like if Lily had stunned him at any other time in the day, it would have been slightly more acceptable.

Lily explained why she believed Mulciber was putting Mary under the Imperius and reminded McGonagall of her suspicions back in fifth year. She explained how Mary was behaving, saw Mulciber laughing with his wand pointed at Mary and stood on the bench to cast her spell.

"Professor, if you performed _Priori Incantato_ on Mulciber's wand—"

McGonagall did not look pleased to be told what to do. Her eyes bugged out a little and stopped Lily short. "Ms. Evans, that is an extreme invasion of privacy and should only be used in the case of illegal activity—"

"Professor, the Imperius curse _is_ _illegal_—"

She enjoyed being interrupted much less than being told what to do. "Fifteen detentions, Ms. Evans. And another 25 points from Gryffindor. That is enough on the subject. Please gather your things and get to your class," she looked around at James and Alice. "All of you."

Lily was fuming, but she picked up her bag, checked on Mary one last time and stormed out of the Hospital Wing.

.

"She did _what_?" Remus asked, the life coming back into his tired face as James recounted the events of this morning.

"Stood on the bench and _stunned_ Mulciber?" Peter repeated.

Sirius laughed. "I admit she's got balls, but why would she? Didn't like the boils on his face?" Sirius asked.

"He had Mary under an Imperius—"

"He did _what_?" Remus repeated.

"Had Mary under an _Imperius_?" Peter said.

Sirius frowned. "How did she know that?"

"Mary was acting strangely. She smashed a plate and looked like she was in a trance. And it's not the first time he's done this, apparently."

"What did McGonagall say?"

"Fifteen detentions, 75 points from Gryffindor, and a threat to strip her of Head Girl," James said, wincing as if the blows to Gryffindor and Lily were blows to himself.

"Should we be searching for Evans swinging on a banister?" Sirius said crudely.

"She seemed more angry at Mulciber getting away with it then upset about her punishment," James replied, choosing to ignore the comment.

"He got nothing?" Remus asked.

"As far as I know. He looks a bit like the victim here, since he's still in the Hospital Wing for a stunning spell."

"Scum, the whole lot of them," Sirius said, chewing on his toothpick like a bone. "I would have picked something stronger than a bloody _stunning_ spell. Honestly, are we in third year?"

"It's bad enough she used that, Padfoot," Peter said. "We lost 75 points because of that!"

"And Lily got fifteen detentions…" Remus added.

"That, too," Peter reconciled.

"We should find out when Mulciber gets out of the Hospital Wing," James said, a sudden malice entering his thoughts.

"What good would it do to have both of you stripped of your titles, James? Leave it alone," Remus said, rubbing his face with both hands.

"We won't get caught," he said.

Remus shook his head. "Maybe you should speak with Lily instead. She can't be coping well."

"She's locked herself in her room. Threatened to throw her trunk at me if I knocked again," James replied.

Sirius laughed. "Could she even lift that thing on her own?"

"I wouldn't underestimate her now," James replied. Sirius nodded sagely.

"Might as well try again," Remus prodded.

"Got the hint, Remus," James replied, standing from his old bed and going to leave. "Think of a gift for Mulciber," he said, more to Peter and Sirius than to Remus.

"Prongs is back, ladies and gents!" Sirius said, applauding as James left the dorm.

.

Lily stopped by the Hospital Wing after class to check on Mary. Madam Pomfrey gave her a disapproving purse of the lips as Lily noticed Mulciber was still recovering. If only he could stay there permanently.

"How're you doing?" Lily asked her.

"I just want to sleep in my own bed, but Pomfrey won't let me leave. I'm not even hurt! I only had a cut! And honestly, I would be much more comfortable not sleeping here…" Mary shot her eyes over to the surrounded bed frame where Mulciber lay.

"If I could break you out, I would."

"Lily, Alice told me what you did. You didn't have to—"

"Yes, I did. I saw what he did to you last time and I wasn't going to let it happen again."

"What did you get?"

"It's not important," Lily said with a smile. "I can try to get Pomfrey to let you out—"

"Ms. MacDonald, you're free to go," Pomfrey said as she re-entered the room. Mary and Lily exchanged surprised and excited looks, and Lily helped Mary gather her things and get dressed. They left the Wing with their arms looped together.

"So, James was sitting with us this morning?" Mary asked.

"We were discussing Head duties and he just sat down."

"I wasn't totally there, but it seemed like you two were getting along," Mary said.

"If by 'getting along', you mean we aren't ripping each other's throats out, then yes, we're getting along."

"Such a drama queen, Lily."

"Just telling it like it is."

They chatted amiably on their way up to Gryffindor Tower, and just as they were about to say the password to the Fat Lady, the door swung open and James exited, his hand in his hair mid-ruffle.

"Lily! And Mary! You're out," he said with a big smile.

"Lily broke me out. Pomfrey was keeping me hostage much longer than she needed to."

"Glad to hear you're fixed."

"Ahem, excuse me!" the Fat Lady said. "Would you mind continuing your pleasantries anywhere else besides in my doorway?"

"Oh, right, sorry," James said, holding the door open for Mary. "Lily, are you coming back, or—"

"I was going to walk Mary back—"

"I'm fine, Lily, go on—"

"_AHEM_!"

"Okay, I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mary—"

"Don't rip each other's throats out!"

"Goodnight!"

James closed the Fat Lady's portrait and gave her a parting grin as he and Lily went back to their own Wing.

"Still feel like throwing trunks?"

"I always feel like throwing trunks when you're around," she answered, taking a metaphorical chunk out of his throat.

He laughed. "Good thing your arms aren't particularly big then."

"Maybe I should start practicing. There's a large enough target."

"But then who would teach you the tricks of getting through detention?"

She scoffed. "There are no tricks. You do as your told, and that's it."

"Sweet, naïve Evans. How many detentions have you had in your previous Hogwarts years?"

"None of your business."

"Is that because it's more than I'm expecting, or less?"

"Again, none of your business, Potter."

"Don't tell me you've _never_ had detention," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"You know I have. Remember when I hexed your books from reading out its contents whenever you opened them? Retaliation for turning my hair into antlers back in fourth year."

"_Antlers_? I did that in _fourth_ year? They should hire me as the new Divination professor once Justice retires," James said to himself, laughing disbelievingly.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said. "Why Divination?"

"Never mind. As you were saying?" he said, a wide grin on his face.

"That one prank I pulled? I got detention for it? Ring any bells?" she continued.

"'Course it does. That was the worst bloody week of my life, Evans," James said mock-seriously. "The book didn't just read aloud; it read in the most bloody condescending voice a textbook could have. Like I was the bloody Dunce of England."

She laughed, taking pride in the amount of work that one charm had taken her. She modified the voice incessantly until she got the one she knew would cause a saint to swear.

"Got a detention with Flitwick for that one. Said that charms should only be used for good. Totally worth it though. Pretty sure he bumped my mark up for that one, as well. He was pretty impressed, despite himself."

James scowled. "I didn't prank you for a good two weeks after that one. Terrified you would charm my homework assignments to read themselves in front of the class in that voice from hell."

"And those weeks were pure bliss," she said, remembering how peaceful it had been.

"Deviant."

"I only respond when I am provoked," she responded.

"Speaking of provoked, that was one nasty stunning spell you sent Mulciber. I heard he's still recovering," he checked his watch, "almost ten hours later. Merlin. _Silent_, too."

Her mood darkened at the mention of him, she couldn't even take proper credit for her spell.

"The rotten toerag. I would have shoved his wand up his nose if I was close enough. If only he'd fallen on it and impaled himself…"

"I like the violent Lily when the violence isn't directed at me," James said as a passing note.

"If you're planning something," she said to him, "I don't want to know and I can't be involved, but it better be the best you've got, Potter. Understand? And McGonagall cannot know it was you. _Cannot_."

"No idea what you're talking about, Evans," he said with a wink. She allowed herself to smile.

"I'm serious, though. If McGonagall finds out you were behind anything, we'll both be out of a job. I don't know why she's protecting the scum in the first place."

"He'll get what's coming, don't worry. And we won't be involved."

"He deserves to go to Azkaban, and only seventeen. You-Know-Who is recruiting young. Making them practice Unforgivables on students, for Merlin's sake."

"He doesn't have a soul, You-Know-Who. Dad was a prefect when he enrolled and said looking at his eyes was like staring at a black lake. Devoid of all human emotion, even as a young lad."

"Your dad went to school with You-Know-Who?" Lily asked, wondering why she was so shocked by the admission.

"Hogwarts is the Wizarding school for all of England. In fact, many people attended school with him. Even Hagrid. Hell, Dumbledore _taught_ him."

"Hagrid? How'd you know that?"

"Detention, Evans," he said with a grin.

"What did you do with Hagrid?" Lily asked, nervous for the first time since she'd received her detentions.

"Ran around the Forbidden Forest in search of unicorns," he responded.

She rolled her eyes at his joke. "No, you didn't."

"Fine, we looked at some stars with the centaurs. You got me."

"Why do I even bother talking to you in the first place?"

He laughed. "Hagrid's an enormous teddy bear. You'd be lucky to have detention with him. A few well-placed words from me, and I know that he'd let you sit in his cabin with some tea and rock cakes and congratulate you for stunning the Slytherin-scum for all fifteen detentions."

"Great, what are you waiting for?"

"Your wish is my command," he said.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. The worse he'll have you do is mop up Fang's slobber, or pick weeds in his garden. Honest."

"Who's Fang?"

"His even tamer dog. The opposite of menacing."

She had always been fascinated by the Gameskeeper, figuring out he was half-giant, just like she figured out about Remus. But asking James for a favor was almost too painful to do. Maybe she would just think of a ruse to go down there and speak to him herself.

"Do what you want, Potter. Detention would only be enjoyable if Mulciber was serving some too. Or if he was expelled. Or if You-Know-Who was dead. Any one of those three would do."

"Modest wishes, Evans."

"I'm a simple girl."

James snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just smelled some bullshit and it made me snort," he said.

She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Arse."

He shrugged, laughing.

.

She received the letter as they were eating breakfast the next morning. All fifteen detentions were going to be with Professor Slughorn.

She groaned and slumped into her seat. Not to mention that Mulciber was out of the Hospital Wing and sitting at the Slytherin table with a bloody _sling_ around his arm.

"For Merlin's sake, they're treating him like he has a fatal disease. He didn't even hurt his arm!" Lily ranted. She stuffed the letter in her pocket and wished she had asked James to transfer her detentions to Hagrid. For Merlin's sake.

"Stop looking at him, Lily," Alice scolded. "There's nothing you can do about it."

Mary was sitting with her face downcast and Lily stopped, realizing she was just making it worse for her. "Slughorn's going to be a pain. He's going to use that voice I hate and I don't know if I can take fifteen detentions of that."

"Should have thought of that before you stunned a student in the middle of breakfast," Alice said.

Lily frowned. "No sympathy for an old friend?"

Alice shrugged, finishing the rest of her rice pudding.

"I know you meant well, Lily. But you did stand up in the _middle_ of _breakfast_—"

"Can we talk about something else?" Mary asked.

"Oh, yes, of course," Alice said.

They all sat in silence.

"How're things with Frank, Alice?" Lily asked, knowing Alice hated talking about it and Mary loved to.

She flushed. "Fine. We're going to Hogsmeade together, obviously. He bought me a ring for our six-month anniversary—"

"Like an engagement ring?" Mary blurted out.

"No!" Alice said, her face turning fuchsia. Lily glanced at Alice's left hand and found the ring on her middle finger. Just one away from the permanent spot.

"Is it a precursor to an engagement ring?" Lily probed.

"I—I don't know. We've only been dating six months! We haven't talked about it. We're only seventeen, for Merlin's sake," Alice said, fidgeting with it and then hiding her hands under the table.

Lily grinned and winked at Alice. "Want us to drop some hints?"

_"No!"_ she shouted. "I forbid you to talk to him."

"Ever?" Mary asked with a smile.

"No, just about this!" she said, flailing her hands.

"What, exactly?" Lily said.

Alice scowled. "You know what I'm talking about."

"But do you think he's the one, Alice?" Mary said more seriously.

Alice dropped her flustered expression for a small smile. "I don't know."

Lily and Mary smiled at each other. "We're expecting to be bridesmaids," Lily said. "I'll only concede Maid of Honor to Mary."

Alice glared at them. "You two aren't invited."

.

"Couldn't you just follow Mulciber around all day under your Invisibility Cloak and curse him every minute, or something?"

"As much as he is an idiot, I'm sure he would detect something is wrong, Lily," James responded.

"That's debatable."

James shook his head with a chuckle.

"But your Cloak must definitely be involved. No one knows about it, right? Does Dumbledore? McGonagall?"

"None of the professors know about it," James said, rolling his eyes. "Now will you stop pacing? It's making me dizzy."

Lily stopped pacing around the Common Room and sat down on an armchair.

"I thought you didn't want to be involved?" James asked.

"I don't. It's just all this detention-energy and I'm not sure what to do with it."

"Don't waste it on planning vengeance. You're rubbish at it."

Lily glared at him. "Want to share _your_ ideas?"

"You can't know, or else McGonagall will suspect you were involved. It's supposed to be a surprise, remember?"

"Fine, you're right," she said, standing and pacing again. James sighed. "Is there some sort of animal involved? Like mutant frogs, or something?"

James snorted and laughed again, throwing his head back and ruffling his hair. "Give _up,_ Evans."

"Fine, if you're not going to help, I'm going to go to detention early and get it over it with."

"Evans, you already have detention, being late won't do a thing."

"That's got to be the worse piece of detention advice ever given, Potter."

"It is not," James protested. "Want me to walk you down there? A walk might get the creative juices going."

"You don't even have an idea yet?" Lily asked, sounding a bit outraged. She stood, looking back at James, who took that as a yes to walking her down to the dungeons. He stood and held the door open for her as she continued to criticize him. "What kind of Marauders are you? This should come to you as easily as your damned charm does."

"You think I'm charming, Evans?" he said, grinning at her.

She frowned. "I meant charming to the professors. You've got them wrapped around your thick fingers like twine. None of them can see the mischief in you, except for maybe McGonagall. But then again, she does have a peculiar preference for you lot."

"Don't sound too jealous, Lily. It's unbecoming."

She rolled her eyes.

"Seriously now, you don't have any ideas?"

"Even if I did, I told you I wasn't going to tell you. It's for your own good, so stop pushing."

"I'm a pusher, James. It's what I do."

"Well stop it, because it might cost you your job."

Lily pondered that for a moment. "You know, maybe you shouldn't be involved either. I know you said you'd be careful, but I don't think McGonagall would let you off the hook unless you really weren't involved. You know, with an alibi and all that nonsense."

James grinned. "Is this concern I hear from you?"

"Not concern aimed towards you, Potter. I'm concerned that if you're sacked as Head Boy, they'll appoint Amos Diggory and I'll be stuck with that dunce of a Hufflepuff as my partner."

James laughed. "I'll take that. That's as close as a compliment I'm ever going to get from you, isn't it?"

She let the corner of her mouth quirk up. "That wasn't even a compliment, so I suppose so."

"As harsh as the cold winter wind, you are. Lucky that winter is my favorite season," he mused.

"That's ridiculous. No one's favorite season is winter," she said, ignoring the compliment and awkward admission he'd weaved into that statement. James was both frustrated and relieved that she didn't acknowledge it.

"Mine is."

"You can't play Quidditch in the winter," she reasoned, as if that could be his only reason for liking a season.

"Sure you can. And even if I couldn't play Quidditch in the winter, it'd still be my favorite season."

"Please elaborate."

"Holidays. Snow. Hot cocoa and fireplaces. Mistletoe doesn't hurt. Also, I have a weakness for cheesy Christmas sweaters. I know most people hate them, but I secretly love when Remus' mum knits them for us. I'd wear them all the time if it wasn't weather, or socially-appropriate."

She smiled at him. "You're a much bigger nerd than I imagined."

"Nerd is a much better title than 'bullying toe-rag', so again, I'll take it," he said with a laugh.

At that moment, Severus Snape appeared out of one of the potions classrooms, alone and holding a heavy book in his arms, _The Art of Whittling._

"Lily," Snape said, surprise in his voice. He glared at James and gripped the book harder in his hands, making his bone-white fingers turn whiter with rage.

"Sev. What are you doing down here?" Lily asked, her voice weaker than James would have liked.

"Forgot my book in the classroom. Why are _you_ down here?" he asked, directing his question at Lily only.

"I have detention with Slughorn. James was walking with me."

Snape's lip twitched at her words and James noticed his nails digging into the book cover. _Good. He's jealous._

"What are you reading, Snape?" James probed. "Whittling? What's that?"

"Carving things out of bone, Potter. Human or otherwise."

James couldn't resist the urge the sneer. "Is that a threat, Snape?"

"It's a definition, _Potter_, or do you not understand what that is either?"

James went for his wand, but Lily grabbed his arm before he could reach it. She dug her fingernails into his forearm and he looked down at her, her eyes pleading with him.

"You're going to be late for detention, Lily. Come on," he said, moving his hand to her back to push her past Snape and towards Slughorn's office.

As soon as Snape was out of range, James removed his hand. "It's a false cover," Lily said quietly. "He told me he used to do that to trick his mother about what books he was reading. Simple _Reparo_ spell that replaces the covers of books. I bet it was the potions book they're using."

"Great, I'll go find out right now—"

"Please, don't," Lily said softly, but sternly. James was fuming right now, but the look in Lily's eyes was enough to cap it.

"Just a peak. I promise not to do permanent damage," he half-joked, already set on not bothering the greasy Slytherin tonight.

She frowned at him. "James."

"I know, I'll be sacked and you'll be stuck with the Hufflepuff."

"Thank you."

"You're going to be late for detention. Good thing you left early."

"Promise you won't do anything."

"I won't."

"Promise," she insisted fiercely.

James scowled as she scowled back. "Fine, I promise not to touch Snape."

"Thank you."

"Now go, being late to detention is really not a good thing to do."

"Finally, some advice that actually makes sense," she said, taking steps away from him with a warning look in her eyes.

That made James smile and he waved as he turned back the way he came.

James promised not to touch Snape, but he didn't say he wouldn't go snooping. The classroom he had come out of before they'd run into each other was probably where the potion was being hidden and James was going to find it.

He checked the Map quickly before entering the classroom, locating the three suspicious Slytherins safely away in the Slytherin Common Room. Lily was in the classroom next door with Slughorn.

He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him, careful not to make a noise in case Slughorn was planning on leaving Lily on her own and heard him on his way out.

He searched the classroom, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was a classroom, after all. Students would be in and out of here constantly; it wasn't exactly the best place to hide a possibly explosive potion. Unless blowing up a bunch of students was the endgame, but James didn't think Voldemort would risk losing all of that potential by pointlessly destroying wizard lives. James thought Voldemort's attacks were more poignant and Muggle-targeted than that.

He searched through the cupboards with spare textbooks and cauldrons, and was about to give up his search when he saw a small knob on the back wall of one of the cupboards. He quickly pulled all of the spare cauldrons out onto the floor and revealed a small door on the back wall of the cupboard. He noticed that it was the perfect size to hide a cauldron. He squatted in front of it, reaching forward to open the door, his fingers on the doorknob, when he felt an intense, searing pain in his hand, and passed out.

* * *

**Author's Note: First real cliffhanger of the story! I know, I'm sorry, but all good stories need at least one. The good news is that the next chapter is already written, just needing some editing, so it will be up within the next couple of days. Hope you enjoyed this one. It is a bit shorter than the others, but equally eventful. **

**I got some comments on Alice's family name, and decided on going with Fortescue because I liked the idea that Neville's family owned an ice cream shop. It's not that important to the plot, as I said, so it doesn't really matter anyhow. **

**You know what to do. The box is right below. Even one line about something you didn't like/liked would be extremely appreciated! REVIEW! **


	8. Chapter 8: Revelations

**8: Revelations**

Slughorn had left her to clean all the jars in all the classrooms as her detention duty. So far, she was almost through with the first classroom and would soon be onto the next one, and she was already anxious to be done with it.

She hadn't heard any loud bangs or screams yet, so she assumed that James hadn't broken his promise by going after Sev. Lily had thought that she'd heard a small noise earlier, but she passed it off as an errant rodent running around in the dungeons.

Lily put the last jar in its place on the shelf and went into the next classroom. When she saw James lying on the classroom floor, his arm a ghastly grey color, she froze, wondering if this was some sort of sick joke. He groaned then, and Lily got a hold of herself.

"Professor Slughorn!" she yelled, running towards his office, thankful that it was nearby. He ran out with his nightgown on, a startled look on his face. She beckoned him, not knowing exactly what she said, but it was obviously enough to get the message across. Slughorn came jumbling towards her with the appropriate amount of panic on his face.

She ran ahead of him, returning to James, who had cauldrons surrounding him, and a terrible burn that was originating from his fingers and spreading up his arm. A piece of parchment was sticking out of his robe pocket, and since Slughorn had not yet arrived, Lily grabbed it and pushed it into her robe instinctively, knowing whatever it was, it wasn't homework and probably not supposed to be seen by professors' eyes since it was in _James Potter's_ pocket.

"What's happened?" Slughorn asked, kneeling by James' head.

"It looks like something's burned him, Professor!" Lily said, wishing she could smack Slughorn in the head with one of these spare cauldrons. She couldn't though because he was the only one who could help James. And he was a Professor.

"Yes, but what is he doing here?"

"That's not important now!" Lily yelled. "You need to help him!"

"Yes, yes, of course!" Slughorn lumbered off the floor and went to the store closet as Lily talked to the unconscious James.

"Idiot!" she said to him, even though she knew he couldn't hear. "I told you not to do anything, you dunce! What were you thinking?! If you lose your bloody hand over this, James Potter, I still expect you to write me a thousand apology letters, understand?"

"Didn't break my promise. Didn't touch Snape," he croaked out, his eyes still closed.

"James!" she exclaimed. "You're going to be all right, Slughorn's going to fix you, I promise."

"Pinky," he managed before passing out again.

"Professor!"

"Yes, I've got it!" he said, running out of the storeroom like a walrus would lumber across snow. "Here we are," he said, kneeling next to James again and pouring the contents of the vial over his arm.

James screamed in pain, then turned quiet. Slughorn winced, then proceeded to conjure a stretcher for him and levitate him out of the room. Lily followed blankly, feeling the parchment in her pocket and wondering absently what it was.

.

James woke up to a dull, pounding pain in his right arm. He wondered what it could be from and why it felt strange to move his fingers. He thought he could smell Lily and wondered vaguely if she had anything to do with his pain. Did they get into an argument last night? He was walking her to detention and then…

"Ow," James said reflexively as the memory of the stabbing pain and its source came back to him.

"You're up," said a voice too pleasant to be Madam Pomfrey's. He opened his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the light before landing on Lily's face. He wasn't sure if he was happy or just a bit scared to be waking up to her.

"Hello," he croaked. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for an explanation," she said, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest. It seemed as though her relief of his waking was short-lived, and he sighed, knowing he'd have hell to pay.

"What time is it?" he asked, sitting up in his bed.

"Just past seven in the morning. Plenty of time before breakfast."

"What happened to my arm?" he asked, examining the thick bandages that covered the majority of his right arm. "Will I be able to play Quidditch?" he asked, a sudden panic overwhelming him.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Not for a while, but eventually, yes. You still have all your fingers, for which you are extremely lucky. Now back to the explanation. Why in the hell were you there in the first place?" she asked, her eyes shooting accusing looks at him.

"For the record, I didn't break my promise. I said I wouldn't touch Snape, not that I wouldn't do anything else."

She glared at him. "When I told you to promise, it was a promise not to do _anything_. Not just to Snape."

James wondered where Madam Pomfrey was. She was always so keen to give her patients plenty of rest, without the interference of visitors. Where was the bloody matron?

"Miscommunication," he said as a lame excuse.

"_What were you doing?_"

"Looking for the potion. I thought that maybe it was hidden in the classroom somewhere since that's where we saw Snape coming out of," he said, feeling so weak and like a pansy. _Pushover_.

"And? Then what happened?"

"I found a small door at the back of the cupboard—"

"_What_?"

"You didn't see it when you found me? There was a little doorknob on the wall and it looked like it could fit a cauldron."

"I didn't see a thing."

"Well, when I went to go open it, I guess there was something on the knob and it burned me. I passed out after that."

She frowned, considering his words. "You're lucky I found you when I did. Slughorn said it was a miracle you still have all your fingers. It was only a small dose; not quite enough to maim you, but it still did a lot of damage. If it was intentional, the person who put it there knew it wouldn't be enough to kill, but seriously harm."

"I may have to break my promise, Lily."

She looked confused and a little furious. "Why?"

"Snape did this! Obviously that was where the potion was hidden and he put a maiming potion on the door to protect it from being discovered! _He_ did this!"

Lily was glaring in full now, but James thought he saw some understanding in her eyes. That may have been his mind playing tricks however.

"Are you sure you didn't see the door?" James asked when she didn't reply.

"I was a bit busy making sure somebody didn't lose an arm. You're welcome, by the way," she said. "Besides, if there really was something there, and if Snape really was the one who put it there, it will be long gone by now."

James swore and then froze, realizing that he'd forgotten to lock the Map before he passed out. The Map. He fondled his robes, but he didn't feel or hear the crinkling of parchment. Shit, shit, shit.

"Looking for something?" Lily whispered menacingly, pulling out the Map from her robes, an evil glint in her eyes. He wasn't sure if it was an I-think-this-is-amazing-and-mischievous glint, or an I'm-going-to-kill-you-so-bad-Potter glint.

"Where did you get that?" James asked her, his voice going quiet and a small sweat breaking out on his brow. He hadn't closed it last night before he touched the knob and all of the school's secrets were exposed to Lily's naïve eyes. His left arm began to tremble. What would she do? He wasn't even sure if Lily finding it was worse or better than if a professor had.

"In your robe pocket while you were unconscious. None of the professors know, in case you were worried." She was still holding it tantalizingly in his face, just out of reach. The back was exposed to him with the inner layout of Hogwarts facing her. He gulped. "Didn't know what it was when I first pulled it out, but I figured it couldn't be anything good if it was sitting in your pocket. Merlin knows you don't carry around spare parchment or homework with you, ever. So I took it for protection."

He sat as still as a rock, unsure of what to say or do. Her expression was so difficult to read, it could have been a combination of anything. Fear, disgust, awe even, but most definitely anger was there.

"Thanks," he said finally as she looked at him expectantly. "Can I have it back?"

She folded it up and tucked it away. "What is it?"

"What does it look like?"

"An extremely illegal invasion of privacy."

"Look, Lily, I'd be glad to have this conversation right now, but it isn't the most private of places—"

"What is private, exactly? With this thing in your hands, nowhere is really ever _private_—"

"Ms. Evans!" Pomfrey exclaimed, busting into the Hospital Wing from her office. "What are you doing here? It is much too early for visitation hours!"

"I'm sorry, Madam, I just needed a quick word. I'll be on my way," she said, patting her pocket to emphasize the fact that the Map was staying with her and that their conversation wasn't over. James thought he felt a headache coming on.

.

Lily let herself out of the Hospital Wing, making her way towards the Heads Wing for the first time since leaving it before detention. In truth, she hadn't left the Hospital Wing all night, hiding under James' Invisibility Cloak she'd snatched from his robe when Pomfrey and Slughorn weren't looking and replacing it in James' robes before he woke up this morning. It was under the Cloak and a dim _Lumos_ light that she uncovered the mysteries of the Map.

It was like flowing water the way it moved and changed and fit the space of the parchment like ink with a life force. The lines shifted with each adjustment of the staircase, people shuffling back to their dorms before curfew, doors disappearing and reappearing.

It was an exquisite bit of magic.

But, it was also probably illegal and a bit scary, and Lily wasn't exactly sure how she was supposed to feel about it.

If not for the potentially negative uses of the Map, Lily would have been quite impressed.

She had read the front page over and over throughout the night, wondering how four teenaged boys could have possibly created this sort of magic on their own. It was almost unfathomable for her to even begin. _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_, those were their 'secret pranking codenames', weren't they? That could only mean they were the creators of this amazing Map and Lily could hardly believe it.

.

"Lily," James said as he entered the Heads Wing after being dismissed from the Hospital Wing later that evening. She was sitting on the couch with her textbook opened on her lap, but it was really the Map she was reading, hidden to James.

"James."

He sat down in front of her, a grim look on his face. "I'm going to need my Map back. It's not just mine, it belongs to the lads as well, and they're not going to be pleased to know that you have it. Know about it, even. I could lose my Map privileges after a stunt like this."

She considered it for a moment. "I'll give it back, but you have to promise to answer any questions I have about it until I am satisfied you've answered them in the best of your capacity."

He sighed in frustration and frowned at her. She knew she had him.

"Fine. But only for tonight. You can never, ever, ever, _ever_ mention the Map to _anyone_ ever, ever again. You can't even tell Remus, Sirius or Peter that you know about it, or they will decapitate me, understand? You can never ask about the Map again, ever, after tonight."

She squinted at him, but held her hand out for him to shake. "Deal."

They shook hands and he leaned back in his armchair. "What do you want to know?"

"Easy one first. Is this how you get away with all of your pranks?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"You four created it, without any help?"

"Yes."

"How?"

He stopped, regarding her. She betrayed no trace of amazement or wonder that would further inflate his ego or dissolve her purpose.

"Haven't figured it out yet?" he said with a quirk of his lips. She narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed lightly. "Peter scoped out the layout of the castle, Remus drew it out, and Sirius and I did the major charm work. Remus and Peter contributed to the final touches, and voila, the Marauder's Map."

"How long did it take?"

"A couple years. We only finished it in the middle of sixth year, but we're still adding. Still trying to add some tricky rooms."

"How did Peter get into the professors' offices without being caught? Did he use the Invisibility Cloak?"

"Mhmm," James replied, running his good hand through his hair. Lily frowned, knowing he was lying.

"How'd he really get in?"

"The Cloak," he said, readjusting his glasses and scratching his head. "Like you said."

"You're lying."

"How else would he have?" James said, laughing.

She let it slide for now, deciding to revisit it later and catch him off guard.

"Have you ever used it to blackmail anyone?"

"What?" James asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Blackmailed anyone by what they were doing or who they were with, or something else of that nature?"

"Lily—"

"Just answer the question, James."

"No, of course not. We're not monsters, Lil."

"Have you ever used this to get away with anything illegal?"

"What on earth—"

"Answer the bloody question, James."

"I—"

She tried not to look scared or angry, but she was actually terrified. Terrified that he had this Map and an Invisibility Cloak and was a very talented wizard, basically capable of whatever he chose.

"Yes," he said, sighing.

"Murder, or anything close to it?"

"NO! Shit, Lily, who do you think I am?" James said, standing and beginning to pace.

"I had to ask, James. This is a major deal right now and I'm trying not to freak out at the moment, but it's a bit difficult. You know that magic can be dangerous in the wrong hands—"

"And the lads and I don't have wrong hands. A bit mischievous, I'll admit, but not wrong. I swear that we've only used this to avoid trouble from innocent pranks and for the good of others. Nothing worth locking us up for, I promise."

He looked earnest enough, but one could never be sure with James Potter and the rest of the Marauders.

"You ought to be more careful with this. If it had been anyone else who'd found you—"

"I know, I'd be one arm short and Map-less. Thanks."

"I'm not kidding, James. What if a Death Eater found it? Then they'd have access to the entire castle, each Muggleborn's location detailed on a Map with secret passageways! It's not a joke, James. I'm trying to change my stick-in-the-mud ways, really I'm trying, but it's very hard to when things like this happen! And I'm not upset about the Map existing, just the fact that you left it lying around like a common handkerchief."

"I know, I was clumsy. It's protected, I swear. Just tap it with your wand, say 'Mischief managed' and it will be impossible to open up again unless you have the password. Try it."

Lily did as she was told, frowning at the choice of password, and watched as the ink began to disappear until all that was left was a wrinkled, folded piece of parchment. She tried a flurry of words and spells to try to open it, but only got rude responses from the Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs written out in ink on the parchment, which also disappeared after sufficient reading time.

"See? Harmless," James said, trying to smile comfortingly.

"Okay," she said, folding the Map and handing it over. "I'm satisfied. Here's your Map back," she said.

.

James took the Map and put it into his pocket, but it suddenly felt much heavier than before. He tried to smile, but she only stared back, a strange expression of apprehension on her face before turning to go to her room.

He felt like a fool. The Map was a God-send, but he never stopped to consider the negative consequences that could come from a more sinister user. They only ever used it extensively to meet Moony at the Shrieking Shack on full moons. And occasional pranks and after-hours Hogsmeade visits, but not much else. Also, when Co-Heads went missing and apologies were in order, but that was it. He never realized the darker potential of the Map and how it could be used contrary to its intended purpose.

The most disturbing part was that Lily wasn't yelling. Her yelling was always a constant, and much like the Enigma Lily he encountered last week, he wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to deal with this. It wasn't as if her yelling really communicated well with him anyway; her silence seemed to speak in volumes.

He tucked the Map away in his dorm along with his Invisibility Cloak, wondering just what he was going to do with the amount of power sitting in his pocket right now.

.

Lily left early for her detention again, disliking herself a little when she wished she had the Map with her for her particular quest. She knew it was probably futile and she could end up just as maimed as James, but she thought she'd try anyway because she was a perfectionist masochist who loved to prove people wrong.

She pressed her ear against the door before slowly opening it and muttering _Homenum revelio_ into the crack. Nothing happened, so she opened the door fully and slipped inside.

The cauldrons that James had removed from the cupboard had all been replaced to their proper place. She opened the cupboard with magic, taking extra precautions not to touch anything in case traces of the poison remained. She levitated the cauldrons out of the cupboard and jumped when a large rat came scrawling out of the cupboard and disappeared in a crack in the wall. She caught her breath and calmed her racing heart before continuing. James didn't specify where the knob was, but under her _Lumos_ light, Lily couldn't see a thing. She shone her light all throughout the cupboard, but there was nothing there. She tried a series of revealing charms on the back wall of the cupboard, but nothing happened.

There were only two possible explanations. One, there was never a knob in the first place and James simply touched the residue of one of these cauldrons. The second was that Sev had already been here and cleaned up the evidence.

She knew that the first one was more logical and half of her was telling her that that was what truly happened, but the other half was telling her that the latter was the truth. The naïve half of her just kept saying that Sev wasn't as bad as the other half seemed to know already.

.

"Nothing there, James," Peter said, panting as he burst into the dorm. He wiped his brow and fell onto his bed. "Ran into Lily. Nearly got me with that _Homenum revelio_, but I slipped into a crack before it hit me. Scared her, too, when I jumped out of the cupboard," he said with a slight grin.

"Lily was there?" James asked, surprised that she had actually taken the initiative to scope it out herself. Probably because she was skeptical of his recount. "And there was nothing there? No knob?"

"Nope. Went through all the cupboards just in case I missed it, and checked twice, but nothing. He must have gotten there before and cleaned it all out, getting rid of evidence."

James swore, knowing that this was not going to help win his case with Lily. Not to mention that he still wasn't sure what he was going to do with the Map, and that the lads didn't know that Lily knew, and he wasn't sure if he was even going to tell them. He could just imagine Sirius' outrage and Remus' guilt and simultaneous disappointment in himself.

"What now, Prongs?" Peter asked.

James sighed. "Rest up, Wormtail. I may need you later on. But for now, I've got to tell my team that I won't be able to play in the next Quidditch match. Merlin be with me."

He gathered the team in the Gryffindor Common Room and broke the news with gritted teeth, clenching his injured fingers in anticipation of what he was going to do to Snape. His team took it badly and was beginning to panic since their Captain wasn't able to play, especially since they lost so terribly to Hufflepuff their first match. Marley was frowning at him more than he expected, and he suspected something more was bothering her than simply his inability to play on Saturday. He couldn't deal with that at the moment, though. Not now.

"Perk up, team. We still have two practices before Saturday, maybe three if I can book the pitch before Ravenclaw. We took a blow from Hufflepuff, but it's only the second game and we can easily come back from that. And I'll still be sitting in the rafters shouting about all the things you're doing wrong. Not to worry."

Marley didn't even crack a smile at that, which James found a bit unnerving. Her arms were crossed angrily across her chest, her eyebrows narrowed towards her nose. James cleared his throat and closed his speech. "Bell, you'll be my relief for this game."

The young third year pointed to himself. "Me? But I can't do all the plays that you do—"

"Tallis, you'll take lead. We'll review them in practice. Don't be nervous, Bell, you'll be fine, I promise. Now, everyone rest up. We have a tough couple days ahead of us, so be prepared. That's it. Go to bed," he said, checking his watch and seeing it only read eight o'clock.

He pretended not to notice when the whole team spread out to their respective groups in the Common Room, not one of them heading his advice. Bell seemed to have gotten over his nervousness as he spread the news to his friends.

"What happened to your arm?" Marley said, the only one who stayed behind to ask about his injury. She still looked upset.

"I really need you Saturday, Marley. As Assistant Captain—"

"What happened to your arm?" she repeated.

He frowned and stared at the ugly bandages wrapped around his disfigured limb. "Touched something nasty. Could have taken my arm clean off," he said, hoping that sympathy would soften her unwarranted anger.

"Was it because of her?" she asked quietly.

"What?" James asked. "Who?"

"You know who."

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked her, wondering where this was headed, and feeling irritated and guilty at the same time.

She shook her head and walked away, without another word.

.

"How was your detention?" James asked as he sat on the couch opposite Lily.

"Didn't find any hidden knobs, if that's what you really wanted to know," she said, without looking up from her book.

He frowned, wondering why she was being so hostile. Everything was just going terribly for him right now, and another argument with Lily was not what he wanted.

"I didn't lie, if that's what you're implying."

"I'm not implying anything. I'm just telling you that I looked, and I didn't see anything."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He cracked the knuckles on his left hand, tugging at the bandages on his right.

"For the record, I believe you," she added, her face still focused on her book, making it impossible for James to read.

"You do?"

"Don't sound so surprised, Potter," she said, rolling her eyes as she slammed the book shut. "I'm not a totally uncompassionate human being. If you said you saw it, then I believe you."

"Right. Okay."

"And I think Sev was hiding the potion there."

"You do?"

She glared at him. "Are you going to question everything I say? Because that's getting old very fast and I'm not in the mood."

"Sorry. I'm done," he said. After a pause, "So, what are we going to do about Snape, then?"

She frowned. "Nothing, for now. I can't think of anything we can do yet. For now, we wait." She paused awkwardly, playing with her fingers. "Maybe you could keep an eye on your Map for when the three of them are together. I wouldn't ask if I wasn't scared something terrible was going to happen—"

"You don't have to explain, Lily. I promise I'll be more careful with it, you don't have to worry."

There was an uncomfortable silence that James felt he had to break. He could have picked a better topic, but his brain never worked properly when it came to Lily anyhow.

"And what's your opinion about him now? Has it changed, or are you still holding out hope?"

She looked upset, but didn't start yelling or crying immediately, which was a relief.

"As long as Sev is alive, I will not give up hope that he can change and come back to this side of the line. But, I will not delude myself into believing that he has not already crossed it. So, even though I know he is currently assisting You-Know-Who, I will not, ever, throw him off as a lost cause. I am a firm believer in second chances, and there will always be one for him if he chooses to take it."

James stared at her and she bristled. "Does that satisfy you?" she asked.

He set his mouth and nodded. "Does that apply for me as well?" he asked suddenly.

Her eyes widened in confusion. "Why would you need one?"

He shrugged. "Just in case."

She pursed her lips. "I feel like I've given you a million and one second chances already," she tapped her finger to her chin in thought. "Sorry, two million and one," she said, her lips quirking up in the first smile he'd seen on her face in a couple days.

He grinned back. "I don't think you've ever given me a first chance."

She rolled her eyes. "That's bollocks. 'Course I have."

"As soon as you saw me, Evans—"

"You insulted my best friend and probably said something degrading at me as well—"

"I would never!"

She scoffed in amusement. "I'm almost certain that you came up to us and started insulting Sev—"

"I meant about degrading you," he said.

He could tell she was uncomfortable, but he wouldn't break his eye contact.

"What about all those times you asked me out? That terrible sign you put on the train last year? That wasn't supposed to be degrading?"

James stopped. She looked angry. "No, of course it wasn't."

Her mouth was set in a firm grimace, her eyes narrowed. "Why'd you do it then, if not to humiliate me?"

He was genuinely shocked, and a bit hurt. She was really asking him this? "Seriously?"

She scoffed. "No, jokingly."

"You thought I was trying to make fun of you?" he asked, his heart sinking in his chest and understanding finally coming over him.

She laughed, but not with humor. "Don't play innocent, James, it doesn't suit you."

"Shit," he said, ignoring her snappy comment and standing to get some water. She followed him with her eyes and he resisted the urge to run up to her and shake her until she was dizzy.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to think, you're—you just—SHIT," he said, pulling his hair with both hands. "I can't believe—this whole time? _Merlin_."

"James—"

"Lily, did you ever think that maybe I was asking you out because I actually, genuinely liked you?" he said in a moment of frustration. He froze, his hands in his hair, standing behind the couch he was sitting on, staring at the dumbstruck girl on the couch.

Instantly, the blood rushed to her face and she looked away. "Well, maybe, but I just thought that it was some sort of elaborate prank—"

"SHIT!" James said, unable to look at her anymore and storming away to his room and shutting the door.

He quickly got out a quill and parchment and whistled to Puddlemere.

_Rem,_

_When Lily rejected me all those times, did you think it was just because she detested me, or because she felt humiliated?_

_James_

There was a knock at his door and Lily's voice, just as he was sending Pud off. "James, what are you doing?" she asked him.

"Go away!" he yelled back. He watched Puddlemere fly off towards Gryffindor Tower.

"What's gotten into you?" she asked through the door as he began to pace.

"Not now, Lily!"

"I've heard of stories where the full moon makes people act erratically, and I never bought it, but now—"

James flung the door open. "What did you just say?"

Lily stumbled into his room and fell into him. "_Ouf_—"

"Lily, is it the full moon tonight?"

"Yeah, but—"

"SHIT. Bloody fucking hell. I have to go, Lily. Don't wait up," he said, grabbing his cloak and Map and running out the door.

.

Lily regained her balance as James flew by her, letting out a continuous string of swear words as he ran out of the Heads Wing. She was feeling so overwhelmed with mixed emotions right now, it almost felt like she was going to faint.

She took a seat on James' bed for a moment, realizing this was her first time in his room. The walls were flooded with various Quidditch posters, the general consensus being Puddlemere, with some other teams' paraphernalia scattered around. His desk was strangely neat, but there were socks splayed on the floor, with his wardrobe open and clothes exploding out of it. She found a picture of his parents on his bedside table and she picked it up. Both were in their later years, but she could still see James' messy hair on Mr. Potter's head, albeit a different color than it once was. Mrs. Potter had James' straight nose and long face. The little boy standing in between them looked as innocent as she knew James Potter not to be.

She sighed, replacing the frame and lying down on his bed, wondering why he'd reacted so fervently at her admission. There were times when she'd thought that maybe he was being sincere, but she'd always brushed it off because it was a ridiculous thought. And now, she couldn't help but think that maybe he still did…

She laughed, pressing her palms into her eyes, the smell of James engulfing her.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, it was a couple days longer than the other updates were, sorry! Still a disappointing amount of reviews, but whatever, I get it, you're shy. Anyway, if this has a lot of typos in it, it's cause I'm tired, but I wanted to get it out tonight. Hope you all enjoy! Let me know where the typos are so I can fix them! **

**Hooray for revelations! **


	9. Chapter 9: Concession

**9: Concession**

"Why the fuck are you still lying around?" James asked as he stormed into the dorm and finding Peter and Sirius lying in their beds. Puddlemere was sitting on the windowsill, grooming his feathers with Remus' letter still attached to his leg.

"Moony didn't want us to come tonight," Sirius replied from behind his magazine. James grabbed it from him and threw it on the ground, making Sirius growl in frustration.

"Get up, come on," James said, dragging Sirius and Peter from their beds. "Remember the last time we took a full moon off? The scratches he had? That's not happening again, all right? Come on."

"He never would have asked us to take a day off if it weren't for you," Sirius accused.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

Peter shook his head. "You've been spending so much time with Lily and Head duties that Remus felt you needed a night off."

"And the bloody dunce wouldn't let us come along because he didn't think Peter and I alone would be able to control him."

James felt the guilt tearing at his chest and he sat on his bed. He was having a truly terrible day.

"The moon's only been up an hour. We can sneak down there and transform before Remus can get to us—"

"And if he's waiting at the tunnel? You know better than _that_, James. Surely your memory isn't that terrible," Sirius snarled, referring to the event last year with Snape. James wished he could transform right now and give Sirius a couple tosses with his antlers.

"Peter can go through first and distract him while you and I go through the tunnel and transform—"

"And if Remus is feeling like a rodent-snack? You're not thinking straight, James! Remus could destroy Peter in seconds. We're not going."

"Why didn't you get me?" James yelled in frustration.

"Remus told us not to bother you," Peter said.

"Remus is a fool about his condition, you know that! It isn't _bothering_ me to remind me of the full moon! Bloody idiot!"

He wasn't sure exactly who he was angry with at the moment, but it wasn't helping regardless. "We should go—"

"Give it a rest," Sirius said, picking up his magazine and resuming his position. "They're your rules, _Prongs_. We go before the moon, or we don't go at all. It's too late. Moony's on his own tonight."

"Peter?" James said.

"You're just going to get hurt, James. Remus was right; either of you alone isn't enough to control Moony. Remus is just going to have to try his best tonight."

James grabbed the letter from Pud's leg, sending him off and then storming out of the dorm. He put his Cloak on as he descended the staircase so no one would see him leave. He got out the Map and found a path that was clear of any persons.

He used a large branch to immobilize the Willow, and wished they'd put an extension on the Map that showed the Shrieking Shack. Then James could at least know if he was about to be turned into a werewolf, or worse, be killed.

He took a deep breath and entered the tunnel, head first.

.

James stumbled back to his room, exhausted with probably a broken rib since it hurt to breathe. Remus had pummeled his stag form pretty rough last night. Sirius and Peter were right, he shouldn't have gone for his own sake. But if his presence had prevented at least one scratch on Remus, then he'd done his job, even if Remus refused to speak to him when they were back to their normal selves.

He fell into his bed and immediately fell asleep.

.

Lily wasn't sure how long she'd slept for because she couldn't remember when she'd fallen asleep. Her back hurt a little, like it did when she slept in a new bed for the first time. She kept her eyes closed, turning in her bed and spreading her arms out beside her. Her hand hit an object and it groaned.

"Ahh!" she screamed, jumping out of the bed and grabbing her wand from the pocket of her robe, which she hadn't changed out of before going to bed. She saw what, or whom rather, she had touched and she said a silent prayer of gratitude that she was still wearing all her clothes.

"James, what the hell?!" she said, pushing him when he didn't make a move to get up.

He yelled in pain and grabbed his abdomen, opening his eyes and finding Lily.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" he shouted in agony.

"_Your_ bed?" she asked. "This is my—" she looked around the room, "Shit!"

"What the fuck, Lily!"

"Oh, bloody hell, I must have fallen asleep after you left!"

"If I could move right now, I would probably kiss you," he said, groaning and putting his head back on the pillow.

Lily ignored his comment, her heart pounding in her chest and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I didn't hit you that hard, Potter," she said, rolling her eyes at his theatrics.

"Surprisingly, this isn't your fault," he said, his face contorted as he breathed.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting on the corner of the bed that was the furthest away from him.

"Spent the night out. Got beaten up. I think my rib is broken," he said, trying to mask the pain that was inevitably seeping through.

"What are you doing _here_? Go to the Hospital Wing!"

"Can't. Broke some rules. Can't get caught. Besides, broken ribs heal on their own, don't they?" he asked, wanting to be placated.

She wasn't sure what she should scold first. "James—"

"Please don't ruin it the moment, Lily. I found you in my bed—voluntarily, I might add—and I would like this feeling to remain as long as possible. It's proving to be quite an analgesic."

She blushed. "You look like I just stuffed poison up your nose. And don't you need to check up on your arm anyway? Just make up an excuse about how you were flying and a rogue bludger whammed you in the gut—"

"I'm not going. Pomfrey said I could change my bandages on my own and only needed to come to her if it started to turn purple, which is only going to happen if someone hexes it that color. So unless you can also repair broken bones, please leave, because talking is extremely difficult."

"If I fix it, will you tell me where you were?"

He rolled his eyes, and winced when he tried to sigh. "Whatever, Evans."

"Is that a yes?"

"Sure."

She sat closer to him and pulled up his shirt to reveal an enormous bruise splayed across his abdomen. "Hey—"

She silenced him with a charm and his mouth continued to move even when no sound accompanied it.

First, she got rid of the developing bruise encompassing his left side, and then poked gently at his ribs until he grabbed her arm, his face a mask of pain. _Bingo_.

She concentrated her thoughts and mentally practiced the incantation, knowing that if she did this incorrectly, James could end up without any ribs and would most definitely die.

"_Costae emendo_," she said, flicking the wand in the intricate pattern she'd practiced on injured animals.

James's mouth shaped into a scream of pain, but Lily kept her fingers on his rib to make sure it didn't disintegrate or fracture into a million pieces. When she was satisfied it was still in one piece, she looked up at James, who was breathing heavily, but no longer looked like someone was sawing him in half. He still looked pale, but that was probably associated with the fear of losing his ribs rather than the pain itself.

She unsilenced him and sat patiently as he recovered his breath.

He swore quietly, touching his newly mended rib and Lily tried not to stare at his flat abs or remember what it felt like touching them. She rested her hands in her lap.

"Fuck," he said again, sitting up and stretching his arms upward to test it out. "Bloody hell, Evans," he said, grinning widely. "Bloody hell."

She shrugged. "It was a fifty/fifty chance I'd do it correctly. Guess you were the lucky fifty."

"Stop shitting me, Evans. You're a brilliant witch. You could probably end the war with just that wand, you're that brilliant."

"What were you doing last night?"

"I can't believe you actually fixed me—"

"James—"

"I can't tell you, Lil."

She stared at him. "I told you not to call me that."

"Okay, but I still can't tell you, _Lily_."

"Why not?"

"Because you won't approve, and you might tell someone," he said, avoiding eye contact and still touching his side gingerly.

"Who would I tell?"

"Anyone. It doesn't matter who, but it'd be bad either way."

"Did it have to do with the full moon?" she tried.

James hesitated, running his fingers through his hair. "No."

"You're lying."

He frowned at her. "How do you know?"

"Because as soon as I mentioned the full moon last night, you stormed out of the room like a madman, _and_ I happen to know that a very close friend of yours has a very special relationship with the moon." Then, as an afterthought, "And you always touch your hair when you lie."

James sputtered and Lily enjoyed the moment, no matter how fleeting.

"How did you know?" he repeated.

She rolled her eyes. "You lie a _lot_, James. A witch begins to pick up on the tells."

"No, not that," he said. "About Remus."

She sighed. "Did you forget who I was best friends with up until two years ago? You know what Sev's theories were, don't you?"

"And you _believed_ him?"

"I figured it out long before Sev became obsessed with it. I didn't encourage him though because I like Remus. Even if he's a bit passive at times, he's still a good person and he deserves his privacy. Besides, if Dumbledore trusts him, then so do I."

James folded his hands in front of him as a conscious action to not touch his hair.

"So, are you going to tell me the rest, or do I have to figure it out on my own?" she asked.

"Lily, you really don't want to know. I think you might die if I told you. Brain aneurism, or something."

"You said you'd tell me if I fixed your rib—"

"I didn't think you would actually do it!"

"Well, regardless, you have to tell me now, or I'm going to hex your arm purple and explain to Pomfrey why you have a broken rib."

"I don't anymore."

"You will, if you don't tell me."

James sighed in frustration. "It's really bad, Lily."

"You already told me you've done illegal things with the help of your Map. And you had a broken rib, so obviously it wasn't something pleasant."

He winced. "I don't think I should."

"You told me a couple days ago that you've never murdered anyone—"

"Still haven't," he said with a slight smile. "Out of all the illegal, jail-rendering crimes, it's one of the pettier ones."

"Robbery?"

"No."

"Drugs?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Tax evasion?"

He laughed. "Does the Ministry beat you up for tax evasion?"

"I have no idea."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, I've been up all night and I need to get some sleep. Thanks to your exponential wand-work, I can now move, meaning nothing is preventing me from giving you a goodnight kiss. Unless you want to keep me up for another couple hours, by all means…" he said with a saucy grin.

She stood from the bed, but didn't leave yet. "Toerag. This conversation isn't over."

He was asleep before she even closed the door.

.

Neither James nor Remus came to class that day, and both Sirius and Peter were looking miserable.

"Hey Evans," Sirius said after Transfiguration. "James, he's, er, is he sleeping?" he asked her, trying to act casual about asking her about James' whereabouts.

"Were you with him last night?"

He looked angry. "No."

"He had a broken rib. Know anything about that?" she asked him.

He closed his eyes, his eyebrows meeting at the center of his face as his mouth turned downward. "Had?"

"I fixed it for him since he said he couldn't go to Pomfrey."

Sirius let out a breath of relief. "It could have been worse."

She waited for him to continue.

"Wait, he asked you for help?" he asked, opening his eyes and scrutinizing her.

She fumbled for an explanation to their awkward encounter this morning, "He woke me up as he came in and I asked him why he winced whenever he breathed. He promised information for my medical services."

"And?"

She contemplated how much she should tell him. "He breaks promises as easily as ribs," she said.

Another small sigh of relief.

"So he's okay, then? Just sleeping?"

"I would hardly call a broken rib 'okay'—"

"Thanks, Evans," he said, ignoring her comment and walking away.

So Sirius knew where James had gone and obviously didn't approve. Somewhere dangerous too, especially by Sirius' relief that James was just sleeping instead of what she assumed he was worried about, that he was dead.

She knew Remus had to be involved somehow, but all the explanations her brain was forming seemed too illogical and highly improbable. Remus was a werewolf, for Merlin's sake, surely James would have been smart enough not to approach Remus on the full moon…

.

"On a scale of one to ten," Lily said, effectively waking James up from his entire-day-slumber, "where one is 'tax evasion' and ten is 'I approached Remus on the full moon', where would your night last night fall?" she asked him, her arms crossed over her chest in an almost aggressive fashion. She was looking conflicted, like her face wasn't sure whether to be angry, or worried, or outraged, or disbelieving, so they mushed together, creating a strange expression.

"Eight?" James mumbled, rubbing his eyes and sitting up in his bed.

Lily let out a small surprised gasp, her hand coming to her mouth. Obviously, she hadn't been expecting the number to be so high, or that James would actually admit it to her.

"Eight?" she repeated, breathlessly. "Are you sure you heard the end points correctly?"

He nodded, yawning. "I'm trying out something called 'honesty'. Not sure how it's working."

She looked scared and angry now. "And on a scale of one to ten, where one is 'ponce' and ten is 'I'm now a werewolf', would you say you are right now?"

"Two for the broken rib and many bruises," he answered, almost having fun with this, but he dared not show it.

She let out a breath of relief. "And on a scale—"

"Just tell me what one and ten are."

"One is 'sane' and ten is 'I'm the dumbest wizard alive'."

"Probably a seven."

She scoffed. "Now I have to ask the follow up. How exactly did you approach Remus as he was last night, and manage to come away unscathed and not a werewolf? Also, were you there—wherever and however there was—_all night_?"

"I'm a wizard," he said cryptically, deciding that it was really the truth, although not all of it. "And yes, I was 'there' all night."

"_How_?"

"Honesty is fine and all, but 'privacy' is an entirely different entity—"

"For Merlin's sake, James. Remus is a _werewolf_. And like a told you before, even though I wouldn't mind if you turned into a wolf once a month—you're already a ponce the rest of the time—I _would_ mind if you were replaced by Amos Diggory on the account that your limbs were displayed all across the Hogwarts grounds. And the only way I'm ever going to be satisfied is if you tell me how exactly you managed to stay so close to Remus at the full moon without fear—or maybe it's stupidity—that you're going to be turned or killed."

"You know, I know you like to exaggerate, and maybe it's also because you're Muggleborn, but you've got to be one of the few special people who consider lycanthropy better than death—"

"Stop changing the subject!"

"Of course, _I_ think it is one of the better lifelong diseases you can have, especially when compared with athlete's foot? The smell on your toes can be detected from miles away, heard it itches like nothing else—"

"_James_!"

He sighed and ruffled his hair before answering. "It's a terrible, terrible secret and I would be murdered if I told you, probably by your own hand, so I'm choosing privacy over honesty in this case and I'm hoping you can accept that, for both our sakes. You'd do terribly in Azkaban, I'm sure of it—"

"It seems I'm going to end up there either way, if you don't tell me. However, in the version where you _do_ tell me, you can spare me the lifelong torment of failing to figure out how you managed to escape death. It could be life changing, this secret. It could help werewolves and wizards everywhere."

"It's not that revolutionary, Lil. It's seriously not anything."

"You protected yourself from a werewolf attack. How is that not revolutionary?"

"Who said he attacked me?"

Her eyes bugged out of her face. "Broken rib, remember?"

"It could have been the Willow."

"The Willow? The Whomping Willow? Why would you be near there?" she asked, getting angry, James believed, because she thought he was changing the subject again. He wiped his imaginary mind eyebrow, forgetting that even though Lily knew about his condition, she didn't know _where_ Remus transformed. Close call.

He shrugged. "Even if it did, not everyone could _do_ it. It'd probably cause more harm than help."

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "You're really not going to tell me?"

He shrugged again, with a smile. "Can't. Marauder secret."

"So you're not the only one who can do whatever it is that you do, huh? Sirius and Peter too?"

"How did you reach that conclusion—"

"Well that makes me feel better," she said with a sudden smile. "If the three of you dunces can figure it out, then surely I could as well. If you're going to make this difficult, then I accept the challenge. And now you're on a reverse sleeping schedule, so in the end, you lose," she said, throwing her chin in the air defiantly and exiting his room with all the pomp and circumstance of her Royal Highness.

.

Lily had actually been the loser in the end. She'd stayed up all night reading up on werewolves, but nothing. She couldn't figure out what exactly they were doing to protect themselves from Remus, and she was starting to get a sinking feeling that she never would unless he told her.

"Earth to Lily, hello, are you okay?" Mary asked her at breakfast as Lily's eyes began to droop. James trotted in, looking well-rested and even attractive with that silly grin on his face. Lily blamed it on her tiredness.

"Get some sleep, Lily?" he asked as he walked by. She glared at him, her eyes burning with sleep-loss as Mary looked questionably between the two of them. He sat at the end of the table, well away from Lily.

"Hold on," Mary said, gasping. She leaned in close and hissed across the table, "Did you two _sleep_ together?"

"What?!" Lily spluttered. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, did you?"

"_No_!"

Lily's face was red, remembering yesterday morning when she woke up in his bed, but had slept there _alone_.

"Why are you blushing?"

"It's angry blushing!" she hissed back. "Because that's such a ridiculous accusation—"

"She's just teasing, Lily," Alice said with a laugh. "Relax, you're only making it worse."

Mary was grinning as Lily tried to calm down, but her face still felt hot.

"Don't bite off my head or anything," Mary said, "but it would be okay if you changed your mind about him," she said.

"What?" Lily managed to get out in a normal-ish tone of voice.

"I know you're more stubborn than a common mule, so I'm just going to put it out there. You don't like to be wrong, but I'm just saying, that if you start to realize that you may have been wrong about James, then no one will tease you about admitting you were wrong. We'd nod, and patronize you a little, then move on as if you were always friends."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, MacDonald," she said, sipping her tea and straightening her prophet out in front of her. "I'm never wrong."

She could see Alice and Mary roll their eyes in her periphery, but she ignored it. She was much too tired to argue.

.

"Evans, wake up," James said, tapping the sleeping girl on the couch with a Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook open on her stomach. She groaned, and put an arm over her eyes, swatting at him with her other.

"Leave me alone," she grumbled.

He laughed and sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa she was occupying. "Reverse-scheduling, remember? If you can make it through today, you'll be fine."

"Ponce," she said, rubbing her eyes with her hands and blinking rapidly as they adjusted to the light. She looked down at the textbook on her stomach and sighed, putting her head back on the pillow behind her.

"Can you just tell me, already? I promise not to kill you."

"Are you admitting defeat, Evans?" James asked, surprised. "I'm disappointed. I thought you'd take this challenge seriously."

"I have been!" she said, slighted. "It's all I've been thinking about!"

"Thinking inside the box, though. And that's no good. You need to step outside of your mind. Think like a Marauder."

She rolled her eyes and closed the textbook, sitting up on the couch and running her fingers through her hair, yawning. "Can't you Marauders just take up knitting as a hobby, or something? Why must your hobbies include illegal Map-making and werewolf accompaniment? Knitting is actually quite fun."

"Cause not everyone can be Lily Evans," he said playfully. "Besides, you liked the last time you made some trouble, didn't you?"

"Because last time I was actually doing something helpful!"

"And if I told you that what we're doing is helping Remus?" he said.

"How?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Without going into the gory details, werewolf transformations aren't pretty. And Remus' are especially bad. But when we, er, help him out, it makes it slightly less painful for him."

She regarded him, biting the inside of her lip as she thought. Her eyes like stained glass reflected the light from the room, making them shine like gems.

"Okay, fine. As long as you promise me that you aren't putting your own lives in danger, then I will try to let it go. I will continue to live in ignorance and try not to dig too deep into this because obviously, you four have the brains for this kind of thing, and I don't. I'm admitting defeat, Potter, but I swear to Merlin that if you turn into a werewolf the next full moon or I find your arm on the Quidditch grounds, I will personally see to it that you never find rest in whatever terrible place you end up in, deal?"

James was frozen with shock. Her hand was outstretched for him to shake and he took it before she changed her mind. "I promise we aren't putting ourselves in danger of being turned into a werewolf," he said.

"And the body-being-torn-apart bit?"

"I can't promise that."

She sighed, withdrawing her hand. "You can never win with you, can you?" she said, more to herself than anything.

James thought he was overanalyzing how invested she was with caring about his death, but she kept bringing it up, like she was genuinely worried that he might die. She covered it up with the Diggory bit, but he thought that maybe now, she'd actually be sad if he did die. Even though that was about the smallest improvement in their relationship, he took joy it in anyway.

.

James opened the Map with the sunlight shining in through the window on the morning of the Ravenclaw-Gryffindor Quidditch match. The bandages on his arm were gone now, but Pomfrey still refused to allow him to play, saying that he needed time to ease back into it. At least it was only the second game in the season, and not the final match he would be missing out on.

He scanned the names for the usual suspects and stood up abruptly when he found them all together, somewhere in the dungeons. This could be it. Whatever they were planning, this could have been it. The Quidditch game with a possible explosive? There was no way this couldn't go wrong.

He ran out of his room, his hand on Lily's door. Before knocking, he checked his watch. It was way too early for her to be up, and he didn't want to wake her in case this was nothing. Her sleep schedule still wasn't exactly normal.

He ran to Gryffindor Common Room, his heart racing by the time he got there. All three of the Marauders were still sleeping and he quickly woke them up.

Remus was the first to arouse and he rubbed his eyes sleepily before sitting up in his bed.

"What is it?" he asked.

James shoved the Map in his face. "Look at who's up this early."

Remus gave him a look that said, "Besides you?" and took a closer look at the Map.

"Snape, Avery and R. Black. Great. Wonderful."

"They're planning something," James said.

"I thought you moving out meant that we'd get to sleep in on Quidditch days," Sirius mumbled into his pillow. "What are you doing here?" he asked through his sleepy anger.

"Reg is planning something, Padfoot. Get out of your bed, come on."

"Look, maybe they're all just going to get breakfast, or something," Remus said, yawning.

"It's Quidditch day! If they're planning something, which they probably are, what a better place to do it while the entire school is gathered! We need to do something, get up!"

"James, not everything is your responsibility to fix. Sometimes, you just need to let people do what they do," Remus said, obviously still upset about the last full moon. James ignored his comment and tried to get Sirius and Peter, who hadn't even moved yet, out of bed.

"Come on! Remember last time, when we had to physically restrain you from going to find Reg? I need that now, Padfoot! Come on, Wormtail, worm yourself out of bed!"

"Go back to your dorm, Prongs!" Sirius yelled at him, covering his head with his pillow. "No one in the Black family is an early riser, so whatever he's doing out of bed, it's probably just to get back in it again. Go away."

James gave up as Remus crawled back into his bed and turned back to the Map, watching the three dots conspire together. The match was in three hours.

.

Lily wrapped her scarf around her neck and walked outside with Mary, Alice and Frank towards the Quidditch Pitch.

She caught a glimpse of the Marauders minus the Quidditch Captain and her mind jumped back to the werewolf accompaniment dilemma. Remus was laughing at something Peter had said, and she knew that he would never allow something that put his best friends in danger. Whatever happened those couple days ago was probably not a regular thing. She couldn't remember James sustaining as serious an injury as a broken rib from anything other than Quidditch before, but then again, she hadn't really known him well enough before this year to know that kind of information anyhow.

James suddenly appeared, jogging towards them in his Quidditch gear, a strange expression on his face.

"James, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting ready?" she asked him.

"Can I have a word, Lily? Alone?" he said, ignoring her question and pulling on her arm.

Lily nodded at her friends, who gave her questioning looks, but continued walking ahead.

"What is it? Why are you panting?" she asked him, trying not to notice how very fit he looked in his Quidditch uniform. She tried focusing on his face.

"Look, it's probably nothing, but this morning I saw Snape, Reg and Avery all together in the dungeons, on the Map. I just thought I should let you know. I told the lads, but they didn't seem to think it was important. I can't shake the feeling though," he said, his hand still on her arm.

"And now? Can you see them on the Map now?"

He shook his head. "Everyone's on the pitch. If they're here, it would be impossible to pick them out."

"You're telling me you don't have a search function on that thing?" Lily asked.

"You're right, I should complain to the makers," he joked.

She gave him a look. "Not the time, Potter."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's the nerves. Anyway, I was just throwing you a heads-up. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay vigilant. Be safe—"

"I get it, Potter. I'll keep my nose to the ground," she said.

"Damn, missed that one," he said with a grin. "Here," he said, handing her the empty parchment. "The password is 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'. Just in case something goes wrong later, you should use it, stealthily. Even if something terrible happens, only use it when you're alone, okay?" he said.

She nodded. "What's the password again? 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'? Seriously, Potter?"

He grinned widely. "That was weird, hearing you say those words. Almost like an alternate-Lily. Just tap with your wand and say the words and it'll open. And don't forget to close it."

She rolled her eyes and carefully put it in her pocket. "I know. 'Mischief managed'. A bunch of immature children, the lot of you," she said. "Now, go, or else the game is going to start without you," she said.

He nodded, giving her one last smile, before running off in the direction of the pitch.

Lily walked over to the spectator keeps alone, her heart beating erratically and her eyes scanning the population. It was a sea of red-gold and blue-bronze, and even if the Slytherins were here, they'd probably be wearing blue and bronze out of spite. It would be impossible to find them, like James said.

"Lily? All right?" Mary asked her when she found them. "What did James want?"

"Some Head duty stuff that was bothering him. It was nothing really. How's Ravenclaw looking?" she asked.

Mary prattled on about Quidditch facts that Lily only pretended to listen to as her eyes scanned the crowd for dangerous exploding potions and three scheming Slytherins.

.

James' mind was not in the moment. He kept thinking about the Map and where the three Slytherins were now. His team was surrounding him, expecting him to give a pep-talk.

He spouted out the best words he knew about winning, how it wasn't always everything, but it would be nice, and a little bit of trash-talk that managed to get a laugh from a couple of them. He sent them out, giving Marley a pointed look, which she returned with a nod. James made his way to the viewing booth where he'd have ample opportunity to yell criticisms and encouragements to his team, provided he could focus enough to do it.

James climbed the stands and took a seat at the front where he could support his team. He tried scanning the stands for the Slytherins, but that was more impossible than sorting through all the labeled dots. He looked towards the Gryffindor stands for Lily, but her red hair blended only too well with the rest of the red and gold. People piled in around him and he watched as Madam Hooch led the opening game rituals. Just as she was about to blow her whistle for the start, an enormous cloud of black smoke engulfed the entire field simultaneously and people began to scream.

* * *

**Author's Note: I know it was longer than a couple days, I'm sorry. But since I've only written until the middle of Chapter 12, I probably won't be posting as frequently as I was before. I like to have at least a couple chapters as buffer so that I can keep track of the continuity before posting, so until I write up until around Chapter 14, the chapters will be coming much more slowly. But, since I left you on a cliffhanger, I will probably have to post Chapter 10 soon, so it's not all bad news. **

**I really like the next chapter since it's probably the most eventful. Please review and let me know what you'd like to see in the upcoming chapters! Obviously L and J getting together, but I mean things with the war and LJ dates, etc. It would help me get the next chapters out faster! So, REVIEW! (Also, typos if there are any!) **

**Also, I hit 2000 views on this story! Thanks guys! :)**


	10. Chapter 10: Recruitment

**Author's Note: This chapter has been updated because I realized that Mad-Eye Moody would not be called Mad-Eye until later on in the story since he still has both his eyes. So, I changed this so that he is known as simply "Mad Moody" behind his back, which later becomes "Mad-Eye Moody" once he gets his magical eye. That's it!**

* * *

**10: Recruitment**

Lily took a deep breath as the smoke approached her and she pulled Mary to her side as her friend began to scream. The smoke was thick and engulfing; she continued to hold her breath as Mary choked. Lily tried the stream of air spell from the last time in the Potions classroom, but she couldn't do it silently. But Mary was gasping and Lily's eyes were watering, so she let go of her breath in order to try to clear the air. The smoke quickly filled her lungs and it took her a moment before she could control her coughing and manage to get a stream of air out. She couldn't see Alice or Frank in this thick cloud and she was beginning to panic. Her heart was beating frantically, waiting for an explosion to come.

People were screaming all around her, and she only hoped no one was injured. Her thoughts flicked briefly to Sev, and if he knew the kind of chaos he was inflicting, before focusing on more important things. Lily couldn't afford to panic now. She wondered if James was all right.

She let out her entire breath in order to clear the smog around her for the rest of the people on the stand. It was much harder to clear than the smoke from Slughorn's class, probably the result of a properly executed potion. After a couple minutes, she realized that the potion wasn't an explosive after all. Just fast-spreading smog. For what purpose, she still wasn't clear.

Mary was still hysterical beside her, so she tried to keep spreading the clear air.

More people began to appear, coughing and gasping as they entered Lily's dome of clean air. She found Alice and Frank, who took Mary as Lily continued her charming.

"I'm going to try to find a professor," she explained to Alice and Frank, who nodded and assured her they would keep the smog at bay.

Lily made quick work of the stairs, the charm coming quicker and stronger with the practice. Her heart was racing in her chest and she wondered where James was. He had been right. But what was going to be their endgame?

All of a sudden, a deep, whispering voice appeared and Lily's blood froze. She was out on the exposed pitch and surrounded by this fog, with a terrifying voice speaking to her. Her blood felt like ice and she gripped her wand painfully, until her fingers were white as bone. The voice sounded almost like hissing, directly in her ear. She couldn't see or move or tell if there was actually someone behind her, but she dared not move to check.

"Attention, students of Hogwarts," the chilly voice said. "My name is Lord Voldemort and I am here to recruit you. You may have heard of my deeds in the papers, but they are insulting to my cause. I am about equality for all wizards and I wish to be freed from this Muggle oppression. We deserve to live without a shadow of obscurity over us, like you are currently engulfed in right now. It's choking, and suffocating, and you deserve more. If you are sick of living in this oppressive environment of Muggles and their laws, join me, friends, and you shall be free. Free to live out of the shadows and in the world we will create together. We can be free."

The voice faded away, but Lily was still frozen. No one was screaming now, but it was replaced with an icy balm of fear and shock. Then, as suddenly as it came, the cloud of death was gone and people began to move again.

Lily wasn't sure how long she stood there, but people were screaming and running towards the castle, with prefects and professors shouting their directives to the students. Lily gained her bearings and set off in the opposite direction.

Her mind was completely blank as she walked toward the place everyone was leaving. She knew Voldemort would never be as rash as to come onto Hogwarts grounds himself just to recruit for his cause, not with Dumbledore here, but she knew that his minions were still around somewhere and she needed to destroy something.

Lily was so focused on her path of destruction, she didn't notice James until his hands were gripping her arms and his face was directly in front of hers. She could see his lips moving, but only until the fifth time did she hear him calling her name.

"Lily, are you all right? Where are you going?" he asked, a look of panic in his hazel eyes.

She brought herself out of her daze. "I'm going to find him, James."

"Who, Voldemort?" he asked, like she was crazy.

"No. I'm going to find _Sev_," she said, trying to push past him as the flock of scared students continued to rush past them.

He grabbed her again and brought her out of the way of the crowd. Her heart was still beating wildly as she tried to sort out where Sev could be hiding.

"Lily, you can't go out there. You don't know what you'll find. The professors are handling it. _We_ need to help getting people out of here."

"I need to find him, James."

After trying to push past him again, he grabbed her arms again and looked in her face. "Stop," he said forcefully, making her look at him. "If he was really behind this, there's no way that he would hang around to get caught. If he was smart, which I grudgingly admit that he is, he would have moved along with the crowd like he was innocent, not wait around for the professors, or you, to find him."

Lily knew he was right.

"I know you're upset right now, and I don't blame you, but this is not the right time. We need to help the others first. Do you think you can do that, or do I have to tie you up?" he said, his seriousness sobering her up for her duty.

"Not your pet, Potter," she said in response. He grinned at that and let go of her arms. "You're right. Let's help the others. But if I see him, I can't guarantee how I'll respond."

"I'll be there to hold you back, Evans. Don't worry."

He gave her one last look to make sure she wasn't going to run off again, and they did their Head duties in getting the students back to the castle as safely and quickly as possible. She saw Professors McGonagall and Slughorn running towards the site of origin. Her wand hand twitched anxiously. Her mind still wasn't working properly.

Lily and James returned to their dorms after everyone was back in the castle. She collapsed on the couch and he sat next to her, the energy from her body draining out of her as she closed her eyes.

She didn't know how long they sat there, and she may have even fallen asleep, but when she opened her eyes again, her head was resting on James' shoulder, whose eyes were closed as well.

"Are you sleeping?" she asked, lifting her head from his shoulder and shifting over a bit.

"Not anymore," he said, his voice groggy with his eyes still closed.

"I reckon Dumbledore will want to see us soon?" she said.

"Probably. I'm surprised he hasn't sent someone for us already. Maybe he's dealing with the ones responsible."

"This may seem like a dumb question, but he wasn't here, himself, was he? It was some sort of voice recording, or something, right?"

James peeked an eye open. "I hope so. If Voldemort is getting bold enough to come to Hogwarts himself, we are in trouble. Everyone says Hogwarts is the safest place from Voldemort because of Dumbledore. There's no way he would show his face here, even if he managed to get past the defenses."

Lily nodded, and leaned back against the couch, her head resting back on his shoulder. James tentatively moved his arm and put it around her shoulders, very comfortably. Neither of them moved further.

"This isn't a recurring thing, Potter. After events like these, I just need someone to give me a hug, and since my mum isn't here…"

"I'm not doing this for you, Evans. Usually after a tough match, I just need to cuddle up with someone. Usually Sirius is pretty willing, but seeing as he isn't here right now…" he said, teasing as his arm wrapped tighter around her shoulders and bringing her closer against his side. She laughed as her arms snaked around his back and his stomach, and her hands met each other on the other side. James' chin rested on the top of her head and she may have let out a sigh of satisfaction as they sat there, wrapped in one another's arms. She tried to forget whom it was she was hugging, just in case her thoughts turned against her and strayed to more forbidden areas.

She realized that James actually smelled quite nice. Like a clean blanket. She wondered how she smelled right now, covered in smog and sweat, and their bodies were touching and his face was basically in her hair...

Lily let go of his torso and slowly moved away from James' arm, avoiding eye contact as the sweet encounter ended and became a bit awkward.

"Lily?" James said.

"Yes?" she responded, looking up to meet his eye. He had a strange look about him and she stayed a moment longer, wondering what he was about to say. She could hear every breath and almost feel her pulse beating to the same pace as his.

His eyes shot down to her lips, and she knew what he was about to do, but she didn't pull back or stop him. His eyes met hers again, like he was asking permission, but she still didn't move. Taking her inaction as a confirmation, James' face moved forward and their lips met.

Lily surprised herself as her arms reached up and wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to her as their lips meshed together. His hands found her waist and pulled her against his torso, as his tongue found hers and their kiss deepened. Lily's skin felt like open water in a lightening storm, her blood like coursing lava. She didn't know what she was doing, but it felt good.

When they finally broke apart, both were breathing heavily, and Lily's head was spinning dizzily. All she could feel was James, and if she opened her eyes, she knew she would see him too. He dropped a couple smaller kisses on her lips and she finally opened her eyes. Was she sitting on his lap?

James swore against her lips and she felt like doing the same. What were they doing? This wasn't…right? Was it? It felt so right, so, how could it not be?

"Lily," was all he said. He shifted his weight, but kept his hands around her, as hers stayed at the back of his head. His hair was as soft as it looked. She twirled her fingers in the hair at the top of neck as he stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face, making her insides turn to mush. "Shit. What was that?" he said with a small smile.

She unravelled her arms from his neck and shifted awkwardly off of him, suddenly mortified at her actions. He let her go, but he looked as panicked as she felt on the inside. What were they doing? They couldn't do this.

Lily stood abruptly, not looking at James' face as she walked toward the exit, opening the door before he could do anything. He called her name as she was leaving, but she was far beyond stopping. She didn't look back as she left the Common Room.

Lily shook off the feeling on her lips right now, speeding up her pace in case he wanted to follow her. She really should have gone to Gryffindor Tower to check on her friends, but she didn't know if she could face them now. Would they be able to read on her face what happened?

Despite her inner turmoil about what she should do now, her thoughts drifted back to the kiss and how his lips had felt and his hands. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to remember the last time she had felt like that. Nothing was coming to mind.

.

Dumbledore called for them a couple hours later. Lily still hadn't returned from wherever she had gone and James was bordering on insanity.

He kept replaying the moment over and over in his mind, almost becoming delusional with each replay. And he'd just let her leave, just like that. Couldn't he have said something better than 'Shit. What was that?' Idiot. Idiot, _idiot._

As James walked toward Dumbledore's office, he tried to get his nerves under control, wondering what'd he do when he was alone with Lily. At first, he wanted to kiss her again until she didn't want to run away, but then as he thought about it, he started to feel grateful that she had left. His heart would pound painfully every time he thought about her walking away, but if they had actually _talked_ about it instead, he wasn't sure if he could take another verbal rejection from her. At least her silence wasn't a complete 'no', was it?

James was just grasping at straws at this point.

He would not do anything that rash again until he was _sure_ that she wanted it just as much as he did.

But he could have sworn that she wanted him to kiss her. She looked like she knew what he was going to do and let him, almost dared him to. And she participated, for Merlin's sake, how could that not have meant something? Damn her. Damn him. Damn everyone and stupid feelings.

He said the password and went up the staircase, his pulse reverberating in his head.

"Come in," Dumbledore said when he knocked.

Lily was already sitting in the chair in front of Dumbledore, flicking her eyes to him only momentarily before turning her attention back to Dumbledore. James sat down as Dumbledore waited, a grim look on the Headmaster's face.

"Ms. Evans was just telling me about Mr. Snape, Mr. Black and Mr. Avery. Would you like to contribute anything, Mr. Potter? Did you see anything that could have indicated their involvement?"

Dumbledore didn't know about the Map, and would probably be furious if he did. So no, James didn't see anything that could have helped at all, even though he saw the three of them plotting earlier.

"No, Sir. Only gut feelings," he answered.

Dumbledore looked at his folded hands in front of him. "Professor Slughorn identified the potion and decided that only a handful of students could have brewed it, based on the complexity. It is also highly possible that this potion was brewed outside of Hogwarts, and simply smuggled in. It would not be the first time, unfortunately, that dangerous objects have slipped past our guard. However, Mr. Snape is definitely one of the student candidates supplied by Professor Slughorn, as are you, Miss Evans."

"I can assure you, I was not involved," she said firmly.

"Oh, my dear, you mistake me. I wasn't accusing you, merely complimenting you on your accomplishments in Potions. It took a great amount of skill to brew that potion and Professor Slughorn obviously didn't doubt your abilities," he said with a kind smile that was a bit contrary to the subject matter.

"Oh. Thank you, Sir," she said uncomfortably.

"Unless there is anything else you would like to add to the matter, I would like to move onto other inquiries," Dumbledore said.

"No, Sir," James replied.

"Very well. The other professors and I will continue to investigate. The other matter that I wanted to discuss with you is about your plans after you graduate."

James was confused. Did Head students normally get one-on-one advice from Dumbledore about their life choices? Dumbledore was wearing a mask of patience, but he could almost see a flicker of something more in those old blue eyes.

"Sir?" Lily said, obviously as confused as James.

Dumbledore turned to look at her. "Your plans, Ms. Evans."

"It's still early in the year," she said.

"Yes, but surely you have plans?" he asked with a smile.

She cleared her throat and shot a look at James. "I've been considering careers with Potions, maybe Charms. A career as a Healer is also a possibility," she answered.

"Very well. And Mr. Potter?" he said.

James cleared his throat, trying not to feel so small beside Lily. He was Head Boy. He could come up with an acceptable answer.

"Sir, I'm still very open to all opportunities that come my way. Becoming an Auror would be an obvious choice, with all that is happening right now. Although my mum would probably not like that very much, Sir," James responded with a grin, imagining his mum's aghast expression at her son's many dangerous choices.

"Yes, precisely, Mr. Potter. What is happening right now. Both of you are aware of Voldemort's rise, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but our government is no longer able to control him or make appropriate actions toward his capture. It may be presumptuous of me, but I believe that a smaller group of witches and wizards fighting towards a larger goal, without the taint of the Ministry's corruption, could go a long ways towards fighting Voldemort and his supporters more effectively than the Ministry is currently doing."

The weight of Dumbledore's words settled on James' chest and he could feel the chill travelling down his spine.

"What exactly are you proposing, Sir?" James asked him, his voice barely a whisper. "It sounds dangerously like treason."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Such an ugly word, Mr. Potter. But yes, essentially so. I have already started an organization, devoted to fighting against Voldemort, independent of the Ministry. I am its leader, and if you choose to join me, you would become part of my Order."

"Sir, are you recruiting us?" Lily asked, her voice full with surprise.

Dumbledore smiled, a wicked and dangerous glint in his eyes. "Yes, but without nearly as much theatrics as Voldemort did earlier today, unfortunately," he said. "Does that cheapen the offer?"

"Professor, we haven't even graduated yet. We don't know anything about what it's like to fight in the real world. I don't mean to offend," she said, her voice becoming flustered, "but we don't learn that kind of material in Defense Against the Dark Arts," she said, sitting at the edge of her seat. "We read about vampires and werewolves and boggarts, Sir. We don't know the first thing about what it means to duel, truly."

Dumbledore didn't look offended, but he nodded. "Yes, I agree. Obviously you will undergo training under Alastor Moody of the Auror Department, who is a part of the Order. We would not be sending you into the field with only your Hogwarts experience; that would be irresponsible of me. However, I have seen both of you act very nobly and bravely in times of distress, like true Gryffindors, and I believe that both of you have the raw skills that can be very useful to the Order," he said, his smile making James' stomach flip and turn nervously.

"Mad Moody would be teaching us?" James couldn't help but say. The man was a legend amongst the Auror community. Amongst the entire magical community, in fact. Death Eaters feared him and James had always looked up to the man. He was one of the reasons James wanted to be an Auror.

"Yes, Alastor Moody himself. I wouldn't not call him Mad Moody to his face, however," Dumbledore warned, an amused expression on his face.

James smiled. "Does this Order have a name?" he asked.

Dumbledore smiled. "The Order of the Phoenix," he replied, as Fawkes swooped into the office, as if he was called.

"I accept your recruitment, Sir," James said, without a second thought. Why go to Auror Training when he could get Moody's direct instruction while being part of a secret order led by Dumbledore himself? There was no question about it. James was in.

Dumbledore smiled. "I am very grateful, Mr. Potter. But this was more of an introduction to the possibilities. If your minds are changed, or if in fact Voldemort is defeated before the end of this school year, the recruitment would be unnecessary. We shall see what June brings, and if nothing has changed, I would be glad to have you both as part of the Order. I will bring up the topic sometime at the end of the term. Until then, I ask that you both continue to fulfill your responsibilities with the same enthusiasm that you are currently exhibiting, and to report any suspicious behavior to me, or to one of the Heads of House directly. That is all. You are dismissed."

James and Lily stood and left Dumbledore's office. James' entire body was still ringing with the excitement of Dumbledore's recruitment. He almost forgot that he would be alone with Lily.

Once they exited the staircase, she quickly walked ahead of him without saying a word or glancing in his direction. Obviously, she still didn't want to talk and was still running away. He followed behind her, trying to figure out if he should say something.

Lily didn't turn around, and he didn't say anything to stop her. All he could hear was his own pulse. James desperately wanted to grab her and ask her to stop this, but his own ego was preventing him from doing anything. He wasn't sure what would happen if he heard the words 'I will never go on a date with you ever, Potter,' exit from her mouth again.

When they got to the fifth floor, Lily continued on towards the Heads Wing, while James headed for Gryffindor Tower. He didn't look back as they separated, neither one acknowledging their different ways.

"We're going out," he announced to the lads when he saw them in the Common Room. Remus looked up from his textbook with a blank expression. Sirius stood up, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as Peter mulled over his next chess move against Sirius.

"Wait, what happened earlier? Did they catch who was responsible?" Remus asked.

"Nope. Ready to go?" James said.

"Where to?" Padfoot said.

"Hold on, you don't know anything?" Remus said. "Didn't you go see Dumbledore? What did he say about You-Know-Who?"

"Voldemort was never here, it was just his followers. He said they didn't know who did it. Broomsticks or Hog's?" James said, asking Remus.

Remus frowned. "I can't. McGonagall's assignment? Binns' essay? Flitwick's practicing? You do know what homework is, don't you?" Remus said.

"So Broomsticks, then?" James said, ignoring Remus as Sirius shrugged in agreement. "Pete, you coming?"

Peter stood up with an enormous grin, mid nod, when Remus interrupted. "Peter, you told me that you were close to flunking out. You should really stay and do some work, you dunce," Remus said.

Peter looked extremely conflicted as Sirius shook his head in disapproval. "What are you trying to teach the young lad?" Sirius said. "Hard work gets you nothing but wrinkles and constipation, Pete."

Remus sighed. "I didn't want to have to resort to this, but if you stay and do some work, I'll help you with anything you want. No charge," Remus offered.

Peter sat down, dejectedly. "Fine. I'm out," he said.

"Okay, fine. I'm going regardless. Padfoot? Let's go."

Sirius and James left the Common Room and headed for the statue.

"Been a while since it was just the two of us," Sirius said.

"What do you mean? You were the only person I saw during the summer. We went out every other night," James replied as they walked through the corridors.

"I meant sneaking off to do something illegal, arse," Sirius said.

"Did you miss me, Padfoot? Is that why?" James said, checking the Map before saying the password and opening the passage.

"Like a thorn in my side, Prongs," he said, following James into the corridor out of the castle. "So, does the ball-and-chain know you're here?"

"She's not my ball-and-chain," James said angrily.

"Trouble in paradise?" Sirius replied with a laugh. "Damn. I already had my best man speech prepared," he said, mock-disappointed.

"Merlin, I need a drink," James muttered as Sirius laughed at him.

"Bloody right," Sirius replied. "Dumbledore hasn't picked up Reg yet? Is there any other person who could have done it but the Prince himself?" he said, his voice becoming venomous.

"Left nothing behind. Don't know who did it."

"That's all he said? Nothing else?" Sirius said.

James told him about the Order of the Phoenix and how he already knew he wanted to join. "You in?"

Sirius shrugged. "Doesn't Dumbledore have to recruit me?" Sirius asked.

"He will if you ask. Do you want to?"

"Sounds interesting. Mad Moody is part of it, is he? You know how I hate authority. I wouldn't last a week in Auror Training, so I might as well join with Dumbledore and have Moody teach me himself. He is a man I could learn something from. Not to mention it would enrage the Blacks to know I've been learning under the man who put half of them in Azkaban," he said with an inappropriate grin.

"Right, I'll let Dumbledore know."

"What about Remus and Pete?"

"Of course we'll tell them. Pete will probably join, but Remus has always been cautious. Technically, it's illegal and against the Ministry. You know how long it took to convince him with the Map and the Animagi. Dumbledore will have to be the one to convince him, not us."

James and Sirius arrived at the Three Broomsticks and took a seat. Rosmerta chatted with them for a bit before getting them their drinks. It wasn't long before Sirius and James were in the company of two French girls visiting from Beauxbatons.

"James, I'm not carrying you all the way back to Hogwarts," Sirius said, holding James up as they made their way back to Honeydukes. James could still taste the Firewhiskey and Celine on his dry tongue. She had slipped him her hotel room number and how long she'd be staying before Fanny dragged her away and Sirius had to support his weight.

"Paddy, my legs aren't working," James said, laughing as he stumbled.

"That's what happens when you take ten shots of Firewhiskey in under an hour," Sirius said, chuckling and putting James down on the bench. "What's gotten into you, James? Did you do something stupid again?"

"S'matter, Pads? Thought you missed this," James said, his eyelids drooping and his neck falling backward.

"No, don't fall asleep," Sirius said, slapping James' face. That hurt. James blinked his eyes open and narrowed his eyes when Sirius' face blurred and multiplied before his eyes.

"Somethin's wrong with y'head," he said, extending his arm to poke Sirius in the face. He missed.

Sirius sighed and hauled James off the bench. "Did you do something stupid, Prongs?" Sirius repeated as they slowly shuffled along.

"Like what?" James slurred, feeling like he was floating on an ocean.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "Why did you want to go out?"

"To snog some girls," James replied, laughing. "Didn't you wan' to snog some girls?" James asked, this time hitting his mark when trying to poke Sirius in the face.

His best friend gave him an annoyed look. "Did something happen with Evans?" Sirius asked.

"Evans isn't here. You saw me kiss Celine," James said, confused. Or, more confused than he was already. Why did Sirius' face keep morphing to a dog's face? Why did his legs feel like wet noodles? Why did he have to pee so badly? Was it snowing? His mouth was really dry.

"I mean before that. Did something happen with Evans?"

"Evans? Who's Evans?" James replied. "Evan is a boy's name."

Sirius shook his head, making his face look like a tornado. James closed his eyes again.

"Mate, I'm not dragging your dead weight all the way back. Come on, get it together," Sirius said. "Did something happen with _Lily_?"

"Ah, Lily. She smells like a flower. Bees like flowers. I want a garden. Am I a bee, 'cause I really like flowers?" James said.

"For Merlin's sake," Sirius muttered. "You didn't ask her out again, did you?"

"Hogsmeade is beautiful," James said. "Look at all the twinkling lights. Can I grow those in my garden?"

"Those are called _stars_, Prongs. And no, you can't," Sirius replied. "What did Remus and I tell you about asking Evans out? Hmm, Prongs? Said it was a bad idea, didn't we?"

"Didn't ask her out," James said, sighing.

"Then, what? Tell her you fancy her?"

James shook his head, his neck failing him as his head fell forward. Sirius pulled him up.

"What did you do, James?"

"I kissed her," James replied, his eyelids feeling enormously heavy, as did the hair on his head. His stomach turned and he worked to keep the vomit down.

"Like you gave her a peck on the cheek?" Sirius said, his voice sounding bored.

"Nope," James said, remembering Lily's lips and how she felt pressed against him.

"What, like you snogged her then? With tongue?" Sirius asked. Even James could tell how surprised his best friend was, even though he couldn't make his ankles remember they were ankles.

"Mhm. For a couple minutes at least."

Sirius laughed in disbelief. "You're drunk. You're just playing with me, aren't you, Prongs?"

James shook his head with a goofy smile. "Nope. She kissed me back for at least five minutes."

"You said a couple minutes."

"Same thing."

"Then what happened?" Sirius said. "Did she jump off the Astronomy Tower?"

"I'm goin' to barf on you, Paddy," James said.

Sirius stopped walking. "Are you actually going to throw up, or are you just being a prick?"

"Bein' prick."

Sirius laughed. "Okay, so what happened after then? If Evans is still alive?"

"She ran away. And I let her."

"Like actually ran away? Screaming?" Sirius asked.

"No, Shithead," James said. "Your head is made of shit," he said, laughing.

"What are you going to do about it?" Sirius said.

"Flush it down the toilet!" James said, laughing like a child.

Sirius sighed. "I meant about Lily, prick."

James made a movement that he thought was a shrug. It was a bit difficult when his shoulders felt like jello.

"Don' wan' her to say no. Prob'ly pretend like nothin' happened," James replied.

"So, that's why you wanted to go out, huh? Depressed about Evans?"

James made a face. "She's like a Dementor, Sirius. Like a bloody Dementor and I don't like Azkaban. I want to leave."

Sirius chuckled. "I've been warning you, James. Monogamy is a cold and lonely place. You shouldn't have bothered her so much, then you never would have been put away."

"Couldn't help it," James replied, before the sleep was too tempting and he closed his eyes.

.

Lily was woken up from her bed by a loud knocking on the entrance to the Heads Wing. She quickly ran to the door and held her wand as she opened the entrance. Sirius Black, dragging James' body, stumbled into the dorm, his forehead glistening with sweat and panting heavily.

"Evans," he said in greeting, leaving James on the floor while he got his breath back. "Didn't want to drag him up to the Tower. He weighs as much as a baby elephant," he said, sitting on the couch, massaging his arms. "Do a bloke a favor and levitate him to his bed?"

"Why don't you do it?" she asked, still adjusting to the shock of the stench of alcohol coming off of them.

He raised his arms up with a dumbfounded expression. "Merlin, if I had my wand, do you think I would have bothered dragging him back with my own strength? Bloody hell, Evans, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent!" he said.

"Why don't you have your wand on you?" she said, still not moving from her spot.

James groaned in his sleep and turned onto his side. Lily looked down at him, a peculiar feeling of disappointment settling on her chest.

"I didn't think I'd need it," Sirius replied, like it was the most obvious thing.

"What about him?" she asked, pointing at the sleeping boy on the floor. "He didn't bring his either?"

Sirius shrugged.

"You must be insane. In these times, Black? Hogwarts was attacked and you think not to bring your wand, especially when you're leaving the castle?" she said.

Sirius frowned. "How'd you know we left the castle?" he asked.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Like you said, Black, I'm supposed to be intelligent, aren't I?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. But Hogwarts wasn't _attacked_. Don't exaggerate."

"What would you call it, then?"

"Targeted. Recruited," he said, shrugging. "It's less ominous."

Lily sighed in frustration. "I'm going to bed."

"Wait, you have to move James."

"He looks pretty comfortable where he is."

Sirius narrowed his eyebrows at her and stared at her for a long time, making her effectively uncomfortable.

"What?" she said, finally.

"We need to have a talk, Lily," he said, his voice grim.

Lily's eyes widened. "Lily? Who is Lily? I'm _Evans,_ remember?"

Sirius ignored her. "We're not friends, right?" he said.

She scowled at him. "No," she said. "Barely even acquaintances."

"Right, so since my opinion doesn't matter to you, I'm the only one who can tell you the hard truth without feeling guilty, since you don't care anyway."

"What the hell are you on about, Black?" she said.

"I don't know what your stance is towards James, or if things have changed since last year, but stop it. Whatever _this_—" he said, motioning around the room and pointing between her and sleeping James, "—is."

"You want me to stop living in the same wing as him?" she asked him dryly. "Sorry, but that's not under my control—"

"No. _The snogging_," he said, standing up from his seat. When she blushed and crossed her arms over her chest, he grinned at her. "You're not denying it. Interesting."

"What the bloody fuck do you want from me?" she said.

"Swearing angrily as well? Maybe I was wrong," he mused, a cheeky smile on his face.

"I've had enough," she said, beginning to walk away.

"Hold on," Sirius said, grabbing her arm before she could leave. "I just have one more thing to say. If you're just experimenting, or playing some sort of game, or just being a tease, just stop. It's not fair to James. If you care even just a little about him, even platonically, you will just leave him alone."

Lily felt her face heat up and she took a step towards him. Her anger was rising fast, but she kept her head, not wanting to wake up James in the middle of this conversation. "Are you trying to tell me what to do?" she said.

"I'm trying to protect my friend. See this, Evans? This is because of you," he said, staring her right in the eyes and pointing at James. His icy blue eyes chilled her to the bone, but she kept her ground and stared right on back.

"Don't try to blame his current state on me," she said. "You're the one who brought him out."

"Why do you think he wanted to go out in the first place? You _kissed_," Sirius said angrily. "You're telling me he did that by himself? You played no role, Evans?"

Her face went fuchsia and she averted her eyes, embarrassed that he was disarming her this easily.

Sirius laughed, loudly and without humor. "Oh, Evans. You're a special one, you know that? And not in a good way. Merlin. I wish him luck, truly. He doesn't even know what a black hole you are and he's going to be sucked in because of him. Just let him go, Evans."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

"Fine. Whatever. Play with his head and his heart, the hell if I care. But if something happens to him, Evans, it's on you. Just remember that before you decide to snog him again, just for fun. He may not act like it, but James takes things like that seriously. This isn't just a game, and you're _not_ just some sort of prize to him," Sirius said, pushing past her and leaving the Common Room with the angry expression of a God chiseled into his brow and mouth.

Lily stood there until her heartbeat began to slow down. She sat on the couch, watching James sleep on the floor, a crease between his brows. She remembered what it felt like to kiss him, and wondered to herself if she had just done it to experiment, like Sirius said. She _had_ wondered what it would be like to kiss James, without thinking about how it would affect him. In fact, she purposely didn't think about James' feelings, because then she would have to do something about it, and that wasn't something she was keen on doing.

Lily got out her wand and carefully levitated James to his bed. She made sure he would sleep the rest of the night on his side, and put a glass of water next to his bed for when he woke up. She closed the door and left him to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. I truly am. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. I'm still stuck on Chapter 12, so I can't guarantee that the next chapter will be up soon either, but hopefully I get a move on. I've been working on some other non-fanfic stuff, which is why this took so long to be posted.**

**Anyway, tell me what you think. Any ideas for future chapters, what you didn't like, what's not working for you, what's not believable, but any good things too would also be welcome. ;D Review!**


	11. Chapter 11: Strings and Mutual Feelings

**11: Strings and Mutual Feelings**

Regulus was looking smug at breakfast the next morning, but she could hardly go to Dumbledore because Regulus was looking _smug_.

Lily even swore that some of the Slytherins were congratulating Snape, like he'd done something wonderful. Lily scoffed into her pancakes. He always wanted to impress them. Finally he had. Good for him. He finally had his Dark Arts loving friends.

_Oh, Sev._

"Lily, what have the pancakes done to you?" Mary asked her. Surprisingly, her over-emotional friend was calmer than she was after an incident like this. Maybe Alice had already placated her enough. Despite how she felt about Mary's theatrics, she felt guilty that she hadn't gone to Gryffindor Tower to check up on them yesterday. Other events had kept her away.

"Nothing. They're innocent while the culprits get away with it. It infuriates me," she said.

"Let her take it out on the pancakes. It's better than stunning Slytherins at breakfast," Alice fake-whispered to Mary. Lily ignored her.

James still hadn't woken up. Or he just wasn't at breakfast. He probably had a seismic hangover. She still hadn't decided on what she was going to do about him. The simplest thing would be to ignore him, never speak to him again unless obligatory. But was that the easiest thing? No, definitely not. The last time she tried to be civil and non-friendly _à la_ Petunia, it nearly lead to disastrous consequences. But then what? What was she supposed to do?

"You sure that's all that's bothering you, Lily?" Mary asked her. "You look a bit more than angry," she observed.

"Fine. It's all fine," she said, taking another bite of her pancakes. "Are you two okay? Sorry about not dropping by earlier. I had a lot on my mind," she said.

"We're okay," Alice said, smiling. "We understand that you're busy and probably had a lot to deal with yesterday, which is why you couldn't come see us. But if anything like that ever happens again, we would just like to see your face once, even if you can't stay to talk. Just so we know you're all right."

"I know, I'm really sorry. Maybe we should have a sleepover to make up for all the time I've been missing with you two? Do you think Krista and Sybil would mind?"

"'Course they won't. How about next weekend?" Alice said.

"How about tonight?" Lily replied, smiling. "Why not, right?"

Mary nodded. "Why not indeed? Let's do it."

"Great. What are you two up to for the rest of the day?" Lily asked them, trying not to come into contact with James until she knew what her plan was.

"We're probably going to do some homework," Mary replied. "We were _supposed_ to go on a picnic, but the teachers are being so unfair about going outside. So, plans cancelled."

"I think I'll join you guys. Library or Common Room?"

.

James woke up with the biggest headache he'd ever had in his life. He groaned, then realized how dry his mouth was. He opened his eyes with difficulty, rubbing the sleep-crust from them before seeing the glass of water on the bedside table. He grabbed at it desperately, then refilled it with Aguamenti many times, finding his wand in his robe pockets, which he was still in.

His entire body hurt. It felt like he'd been dragged behind a moving carriage, then trampled by a herd of hippogriffs. What happened last night?

The memories came back to him in pieces, a particularly disturbing one with a French girl and her tongue piercing forcing him out of his bed and into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He could still feel the remnants of the alcohol in his system, and he wondered if he'd be able to make it downstairs for some breakfast without dying. The alcohol he drank last night was making an uncomfortable knot in his stomach and it needed to be soaked up with some bread and water.

Just as he exited the bathroom, Lily emerged into the Common Room and froze when she saw him. He was equally motionless, and then lifted a hand in greeting. He probably looked terrible. She looked marvelous as usual. Even with her narrowed eyes and stiff brow.

She nodded at him curtly and started toward her room. Before she could shut the door, he stopped her.

"Hey, do you know what happened last night?" he asked her, feeling embarrassed that he had to ask, but terrified he'd done something stupid when he returned. Like yelled at her or tried to kiss her drunk, or worse. After leaving the Three Broomsticks with Sirius, the rest was just a black canvas.

She looked at him neutrally and held the door open. "You probably went out with Sirius, and got ridiculously drunk," she said.

"I know that bit," he said, ignoring the churning of his stomach and praying that he didn't vomit on Lily. "I can remember that part. I mean, how did I get here?" he said.

"You passed out, I guess, so Black dragged you back here instead of to Gryffindor Tower because he didn't bring his wand with him, and this was closer," she answered. Strangely, there was no trace of disappointment in her voice that he might have expected. She just looked uncomfortable.

"Shit. I'm really sorry, Lily. I didn't think he would bring me back here. Did he wake you?" James asked, his head pounding and his mouth like sandpaper as his lips stuck to his teeth because of the dehydration.

"I'm late meeting Alice and Mary. I need to go," she said, disappearing inside her room and reappearing ten seconds later with her books. "There're crackers on the coffee table for you. I'll be sleeping in Gryffindor Tower tonight so you probably won't see me later," she said, walking out of the Common Room without a glance back at him.

James swore angrily, then ran to the bathroom to throw up.

.

"Lily," Alice said, waving a quill in her face. They had been at the library for hours, but Lily honestly couldn't remember getting any work done. She looked at her friend. "I'm all for daydreaming, but you haven't even opened up your books since we got here. Is everything all right? Did you get a chance to see Pomfrey yesterday, by any chance?"

Both Alice and Mary were looking concerned for her and she smiled at them. "Of course. Clean bill. I've just been thinking about the ones responsible for yesterday, that's all. I can't help but feel there was something else I could have done to help out, you know?"

"What does James think?" Mary asked her.

Lily faltered and ran her fingers over the cover of her books nervously. "Not sure. You know what? I'm going to see if the going-outside policy has changed. I could use some air. I'll see you two at dinner," she said, gathering her things and waving goodbye as her friends gave her strange looks.

She didn't know why she didn't just confide in them what had happened. It wasn't as if she could go to Sev for advice about this, before or after the end of their friendship. But, he had been the only person besides her father that she confided in. Her mother wouldn't provide any sound advice that Lily could apply and her sister hated her. She had learned early that the women in her life would always disappoint. Who else did she have left?

"Lily, hi!" a voice said, bringing her out of her walking trance.

"Remus!" she said, surprised. "Peter! I didn't see you two there."

"Hi, Lily," Peter said.

"Are you all right? You look pale," Remus commented.

"We could be twins," she said, noticing how thin he had gotten this week. The memory of James' broken rib entered her thoughts and she wondered if she should ask him about it. "How are you doing?"

"Could be better," he said with a grin. Always grinning, these four boys, even though he looked about ready to collapse. "I was looking for James. Any idea where he is?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "I think he had a rough night. Did you check the Heads Wing?"

"I knocked on the door, but no one answered. Do you think he's okay?"

She shrugged again. "I ran into him this morning and he seemed fine. Hung over, but fine."

"Would you mind re-checking for us? I'm going to run by the Kitchens to see if he's there. Peter's going to check the Prefects' bathroom."

"Oh, yes, sure."

"Great. If you find him, just tell him I need to have a word. Thanks, Lily."

Remus and Peter ran off towards the Kitchens and Prefect bathroom, respectively, as Lily reevaluated her situation. What Sirius had said to her last night was right; since he was the only one who didn't care if he hurt her feelings, he was the most reliable in telling her the truth at the moment.

Lily did as Remus asked and checked the Heads Wing for James, who wasn't there, then went to her room for the Map that she had forgotten to give back to him yesterday with the confusion.

She said the ridiculous password and quickly scanned for James' dot, which was indeed in the Kitchens, and Remus', which was heading that way, while Peter's was going towards the Prefect bathroom. Great. At least they would be occupied for a bit while she spoke with Sirius.

Sirius was alone in his dorm and she made a rash decision of going into James' room and finding the robes he wore last night for his Invisibility Cloak. Really, he should be more careful with this.

She covered herself in the cloak, which smelled of alcohol and fried food, and tried to calm her racing heart as she walked through the corridors with the Map. So, this was what it felt like to be a Marauder. She hated to admit it, but she felt wonderfully devious. And all she was doing was walking through a hallway. She felt untouchable.

Lily encountered a problem when she arrived at the Fat Lady. Thankfully, a couple of bickering fourth years exited Gryffindor Tower not soon after she arrived, and didn't even notice that the door caught before closing, even though the Fat Lady made a surprised noise at the unexpected movement.

Lily was breathing heavily from the excitement of sneaking around and wondered if she was going too far. It was too late to turn back now though, so she climbed the staircase to the top of the boys dorms, took off the Cloak, closed the Map and hid it in her pocket before knocking on the door.

"Come in," Black's voice said lazily from inside.

Lily peeked the door open before stepping inside. "Black, it's Evans," she said as a warning.

Black got up from his bed and opened the door wider, towering over her with a confused look. "What are you doing here, Evans? Are you lost? This is my dorm."

"May I come in?"

"No one is here," he said. "Just me. _Sirius Black_."

"I know who you are, idiot, now are you going to let me in or not?" she hissed, glaring at him.

"Not until you tell me what you want," he said, blocking the door with his frame. "And say the password."

She crossed her arms over her chest, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "I want to talk about James, okay?" she whispered fiercely at him.

He stared at her, considering, then crossed his arms over his chest.

"Password."

Lily rolled her eyes. What a mistake this was. "Sirius Black is sexy and the King of the Universe? Am I close?"

The corner of his mouth quirked up in an amused smile. "Close enough."

He finally moved aside and Lily stepped in.

"How did you know I was alone?" Sirius asked as he sat back down on his bed and Lily stood awkwardly in the middle of the dorm. She chose the bed opposite him and sat down. "You wouldn't have come here if you'd known the others were here also. Unless you were willing to have a group conversation about dear ol' Potter."

"I ran into Remus and Peter in the castle and they said they were out searching for James. James wasn't in the Heads Wing, so I made a gamble that you were here alone. That doesn't matter anyway," she said, grateful that her lies were coming smoothly for once. She knew telling Sirius about her having the Map was a grave mistake.

His eyes narrowed minutely, but he let it slide. "I still don't get why you're here. We're not friends, remember?" he said, crossing his arms over his chest and inspecting her with his grey eyes.

"Like you said last night, you're the only one who can tell me the truth without caring about my feelings. That's what I want," she said, her heart thumping wildly in her chest.

He regarded her coolly. "Truth about what? James?"

She nodded, unsure if she could speak at the moment.

"What about him?"

She shrugged. "What if what happened before wasn't just experimenting for fun, or whatever else you said last night? What then?" she managed to get out.

His expression didn't change. "What do you mean?"

She cleared her throat and glared. "You know what I mean."

Sirius' eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he asked her.

"What do _you_ think I'm saying?" she said. Lily was already regretting this idiotic conversation.

"No, no, no, Evans. I want to hear it from your mouth," he said, mocking her with a sinister grin.

She stood from her seat. "I didn't come here to be teased, Black."

"I thought you didn't care what I think. Isn't that why you're here?" he said, laughing. "You can speak without fear of judgment or mockery because you just don't care, remember?"

"Never mind, I knew this was a mistake," she said, going to leave.

"Hold on, Evans. Just wait a moment," he said, still laughing. "Fine. I'll pretend like you said it. What about it? What do you want me to do?"

She stopped and turned back around. "Well, what do you know?" she said.

Sirius chuckled disbelievingly. "Is this some sort of gossip session? Is that what this is, Evans? Not only are we not friends, we're even less than acquaintances—your words, not mine. Don't you have Fortescue and MacDonald for this?" he said.

"I'm not asking you to gossip, for Merlin's sake," she said, running her hands through her hair and pacing. "I'm here because I don't know what to do! I don't know who to talk to, or what to say to him, or how I'm supposed to act around him, or anything! I'm totally fucked, Black, and I don't know what is happening," she said.

"Woah, Evans. I'm not qualified for this. If you start crying, I'm just going to leave," he said, standing up and moving slowly towards the door.

"I'm sorry, I'm not going to cry. But what you said last night made sense. I wasn't thinking about his feelings, and that was wrong. It's kind of hard imagining that he has _real_ feelings because he always treats everything like a joke," she said, sitting down. "What I want from you is to just tell me what to do, if I want to actually start considering his feelings, or whatever. Just tell me what to do."

Sirius was still standing, but he wasn't moving towards the door anymore. He was contemplating what she had said with narrowed eyes and a frown. Lily could only hear the sound of her pulse echoing around the room. She was terrified that Black would burst out laughing at her embarrassing announcement, or that he would tell all to James, but something about him told her that he would keep her secret and be helpful. It might have been naivety, but she felt that Sirius Black was one of the good ones, despite his proclivity for unnecessary torment on undeserving first years, and pranking Slytherins. If he was willing to stay beside Remus after learning about his condition, and staying beside James despite his newfound responsibilities that Sirius no doubt found repulsive, he must have been unwaveringly loyal. She only hoped that kind of loyalty would extend to her as well, despite them being 'less than acquaintances'.

"Have I broken your brain?" she said, trying to break the tension. "Should I be calling Madam Pomfrey to send for a brain Healer from St. Mungo's?" she asked when he continued to stare at her without a sign of acknowledgement that he'd understood her plea.

He held up a finger. "So you're telling me that if I told you to leave James alone forever, you would do it?" he said.

She frowned. "That would be impossible. We're co-Heads, I can't just _leave him alone_."

"I meant, romantically. Leave him out of your future romantic plans. Or whatever you females call it," he said, waving his fingers around in the air.

She considered that. "With proper reasoning and explanation, maybe," she said.

"Wrong," he declared. "Wrong answer, Evans."

"What do you mean?" she said. "Wrong answer to what?"

"Do you like to knit, Evans?"

"What?" she asked, her frustration threatening to bubble over.

"Of course you do, who am I kidding. But metaphorically, for the sake of argument, James is like a ball of yarn. He comes with a lot of strings. Catch my drift?"

Lily frowned. "Not a clue."

Sirius sighed. "Like I said last night, this—" he said, gesturing at her, "—is not just a game to James. Without saying too much, he's not undecided about anything, like you are. And unfortunately for you—or fortunately, I don't know how you think—this is not going to work if you're so easily swayed like that. You understand, Evans? James has strings—like a whole 'ball-of-yarn' amount of strings—attached. If you're not willing to deal with all that, then move on. Or else, get yourself a sturdy pair of knitting needles and some hot cocoa."

"So, what are you saying?" Lily asked, her heart beating uncomfortably hard. She was afraid Sirius would be able to hear it. But that was ridiculous. "You want me to knit a scarf out of James, or something?"

"Come back when you're sure," he said, lying down on his bed and pretending like she wasn't there.

"That's why I'm here, Black! I need you to help me figure out if I'm sure!" she said.

He laughed. "I'm not your therapist, Evans. No one could pay me enough money to listen to your problems. Now leave, before Potter comes back and gets the wrong idea. I don't want my reputation tainted."

She scoffed indignantly. "Fine. If you tell anyone about this, Black, I'm going to detach your limbs from your body and scatter them through the Forbidden Forest for animals to eat," she said, leaving as Sirius chuckled to himself.

.

"James, finally," Remus said when he walked into the Kitchens. "Lily told me you had a rough night, but you look genuinely terrible," he said, sitting across from him at the table.

"I think I vomited up my liver. Is that possible?" James asked, stuffing another bit of bread in his mouth and sucking on it until it was soft enough to go down without chewing.

"Wouldn't know," he said.

"You ran into Lily? What did she say?" James asked Remus, putting his head on the table.

"I just asked her if she knew where you were and she said no," he replied, standing up. "Come on. Sirius has some plans for Mulciber and we need your help convincing him it's a bad idea."

James groaned. "Fuck, I forgot. Can I just say that I need to regrow my liver, so I can't help him out? Also, will my liver regrow?"

"No, you can't, and yes, it will. Come on, bring a bag in case you need to throw up more bits of your innards. He's getting antsy."

James stood and followed Remus out the door. "By the way, do you have the Map? None of the lads knew where it was when we were looking for you."

"Oh, yeah, it's probably in my room somewhere. I'll get it later," he said, remembering that he'd given it to Lily before the smog hit and he'd forgotten to retrieve it. He swore mentally.

"Hey, Moony," James said.

"Mh?" Remus replied.

"Why didn't you tell me about the last full moon?"

Remus sighed. They hadn't spoken about the last time they transformed and it had been bothering James since then.

"You seemed really busy. I figured a night of controlling a werewolf wasn't the most productive way to spend your time," he said.

"Remus, you're a prick. After knowing all the stupid things I waste my time on, you should know by now that helping out a friend is never a waste of my time. I once walked around the entire castle just to insult as many portraits as I could while wearing my Cloak, just for fun. Don't you think running around Hogwarts with a werewolf is far more fun than that?" he whispered with a grin.

Remus rolled his eyes, but was smiling. "Only your idea of fun is getting thrown to the ground multiple times by a dangerous magical creature. Everyone else seems to avoid it, as they should."

James shrugged. "Their loss."

Remus shook his head. "The wolf didn't hurt you too badly, did it?"

"Nothing that wasn't fixable. I got a couple good ones in there, too, didn't I?" James said.

Remus scoffed. "They were mere scratches. Practically healed by the time morning came," he bragged.

"Okay, sure," James said. "Just remind me next time, you dolt. Just because I say it's fun does not mean I'm always going to remember. Unless one of us is deathly ill on our beds, we're all coming out. End of discussion."

"Sure," Remus replied. "I'll remember that."

"So," he said, after a lull in the conversation. "I kissed Lily,"

Remus stopped walking and looked at him in shock. "Beg your pardon?"

"You heard me," James said, walking ahead of Remus and feeling his stomach turn again. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the current topic of conversation.

Remus jogged to catch up. "But when I saw her, she gave no indication that something like this had happened—"

"She's a bloody fortress, Remus. Thicker walls than Azkaban itself. You should know this by now. I promised myself I'd never make this comparison again, but I swear she ate my soul with that kiss. I feel like a corpse."

"No, that's the Firewhiskey, Prongs," Remus said, clapping him hard on the shoulder. "We both know that kiss was the single greatest moment of your short, sad life."

James sighed and chuckled. "Don't rub it in, ponce."

"Are you going to try a break-in?" Remus said, winking.

James scowled. "Soulless people can't walk, or move, or lift a wand. I think I should just give up."

"Let's drop this metaphor, it's getting tiresome. But really, James. She didn't slap you, I suppose? And you still have all your body parts—important ones included—so I take that as a good sign, don't you?"

"Mixed. She ran away afterwards."

"Screaming?"

"No! Why does everybody assume that? No, she just left abruptly." James looked ahead into the hallway, trying to avoid Remus' incredulous stare. He saw a glimmer of light by one of the paintings, but he ignored it and kept walking.

"You probably shouldn't say she 'ran away' then. Just saying 'left abruptly' would suffice," Remus said with a superior look.

"Whatever. She 'left abruptly' and hasn't said anything about it since. I'm pretty sure she never wants to acknowledge it happened. So there. That's my situation. When's the next moon? I rather be thrown to the ground by a dangerous magical creature for the next two weeks than have to confront her about this. It's actually killing me inside."

Remus laughed as they approached Gryffindor Tower and the Fat Lady. "I'm pretty sure that's the Firewhiskey as well, mate. But I'm sure Lily will be willing to talk it over, with the proper amount of coercion. Remember what we told you; no insulting Slytherins, especially Snape; no talking about Quidditch; don't ask her out, unless she explicitly says that she wants you to ask her out—"

"Piss off."

.

Lily stayed frozen to the wall as Remus and James passed by, discussing, what it seemed, what had happened between them. Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought they'd be able to hear her even with James' Cloak on. There was even a moment when James looked straight at her and she nearly cried out in fear, but his eyes passed by her and he continued walking. She forgot that not even James Potter could spot out his own Invisibility Cloak when looking straight at it.

Her legs felt weak for so many reasons, she couldn't even bear to move, even after Remus and James had passed by. She was so frustrated about what had happened between her and Sirius, she hadn't bothered to check the Map for James. And now she was stuck on a wall, unable to move and invisible.

If her mind was confused before talking to Sirius about knitting and all of that shit, it was now the ground-zero after a hurricane-tornado-earthquake disaster.

She slid down to the floor and sat there, invisible and mentally torn. Her heart wouldn't calm down and she thought she felt the beginnings of a panic attack wrap around her.

Lily didn't know why she was being such a pansy about this. There were obviously feelings between the two of them, whatever this was, but he was James Potter, and she was Lily Evans. Those two names appearing together only made sense as Head Students. And then there was that! If they started dating, and things ended badly, how could they continue working together? It was already difficult enough when they had romantic feelings; how disastrous would it be with resentful ones?

She knew she was just making excuses. None of that really mattered if this was how Lily truly felt. And she knew deep down inside, she really did want all that string. She was a terrific knitter. So what was stopping her?

Lily stood and returned to the Heads Wing, replacing James' Cloak where she found it, and the Map on his bed with a note so he wouldn't throw it out absentmindedly.

She wrote Mary and Alice a note explaining that she wasn't up for the sleepover tonight and they would do it next week.

Then, she went to her room and lay down on the bed, and stared at her ceiling as she wondered what she was going to do now.

.

People were still congratulating Severus and giving him nods of approval in the Slytherin Common Room. Regulus had been his intolerable, arrogant self ever since the event, and was behaving as if he had been elected Minister for Magic. Sev wished he could disappear into a dark place with his Potions and everyone would just leave him alone.

He wondered if Lily had been present at the showing, and if she finally understood why he was doing this. Voldemort only wanted freedom for the oppressed wizards—that was all. Sev knew that if Lily wanted, Voldemort would accept her, a Muggleborn, into his ranks. She was talented and powerful, and Voldemort would only gain by accepting her. If only she wanted to.

"Snape, the Dark Lord was pleased by your contribution. He wishes to meet you personally. You will not be staying at Hogwarts this Christmas," Regulus informed him with a smug grin. "It's all coming together, Snape, and you were instrumental. We will receive further instruction when we are face to face with him. But for now, revel in your work. This palpable fear that you can feel in the castle? That was our doing. Be proud, Severus. A new dawn is fast approaching."

Severus aimed for a smile, but he didn't think it came off as such. The fear wasn't the point, and Regulus was missing it. But Sev did revel in the completion of the dark potion he had successfully brewed, without much help from Black or Avery. It was the epitome of his potion-brewing and he was bloody proud. Lily must have appreciated his skill, at least, even if she didn't support the cause. Couldn't she see that this was the right way? Lord Voldemort was the right way, combining Dark Arts with a noble vision to pave a new future for them.

"Your eyes look glossy, Snape," Mulciber said to him, still wearing that ridiculous sling even though his arm had always been completely mobile. "Thinking about your Mudblood girlfriend again?" he said with a sneer, rubbing his shoulder to remind everyone what she had done to him. "If I had an hour alone with her—"

"The Dark Lord would be interested in knowing that a Mudblood was able to silently stun you, leaving you in a Hospital Wing for nearly half a day for your botched _Imperius_. Still haven't perfected that one, Mulciber?" Severus responded as calmly as he could.

Mulciber scoffed angrily and tilted his stiff chin. "You may be in the Dark Lord's favor now, but you're still tainted. I'd watch who you threaten, Snape. You're tolerated because you're useful, but remember, taints like you are _replaceable_."

Sev put his nose back in his book and ground his teeth. Bloody _Mulciber_ thought he was so superior because both his parents were pureblood. The arrogance. He probably couldn't aim a Killing Curse at an already dead fly lying at the tip of his wand.

Severus remembered that one blissful moment when he witnessed James Potter's panicked face running through the terrified crowd, and how powerful he felt in that one moment. The potion had allowed Severus to rise above the arrogant swine and be more talked about than the flashy Quidditch hero of Gryffindor. He memorized that feeling and stored it away for those days when he questioned if he was going down the right path.

.

"If there aren't any other questions," McGonagall stated, "then you are dismissed." Lily and James stood from their chairs after the two-hour long Heads meeting with their Head of House, an uncomfortable and tedious affair.

"None, Professor," James said with a cheery grin. Lily couldn't tell if the beating of her heart was because of attraction or anger at his carefree smile. Probably both.

McGonagall nodded at them and Lily had her hand on the doorknob when she heard people running. She opened the door and saw a crowd of excited students running through the halls. Lily looked back at James, who was looking far too casual and she got a tingle up her spine.

"Professor," Lily said before she could stop herself. McGonagall looked up from her desk and her face immediately went stiff at seeing the happy students.

Lily, James and McGonagall ran to the Great Hall, following the crowd of students. She heard an angry yelling resounding through the hall and amused tittering from the crowd.

Once the sight befell her eyes, Lily gasped. She looked up, not sure if what she saw was funny or terrifying. McGonagall certainly didn't look amused, which wasn't surprising.

"Potter, Ms. Evans. What do you two know about this?" she asked, outraged.

"Professor, both of us were with you for the past two hours," James replied, managing to keep a serious expression on his face. Lily was almost convinced by his charade, but she knew him better now.

McGonagall didn't seem pleased by that excuse. It was a solid alibi. That glimmer in his eye told Lily that he was probably the mastermind behind this, though, even if he wasn't the manual labor. Everyone knew James had plenty of willing hands to help him out. Three pairs, to be exact. McGonagall could probably see it too, but there was nothing she could do to prove that he was innocent of thinking up this prank. Otherwise, she would have to prove that James was capable of cloning himself in order to pull off this prank. He was a solid wizard, but he wasn't _that_ good.

McGonagall obviously didn't want to waste her time contemplating James' possibility as a clone and went to work shouting at other professors to get Mulciber down.

"Did you do this?" Lily asked him, deciding eventually that this prank was entirely appropriate and quite entertaining, actually. There was definitely something wrong with her head if those kinds of thoughts were running through it. Or else, her heart was starting to bias her mind and make her act uncharacteristically. Which was alarming.

James shot a side-glance at her. "I thought we weren't speaking," he said casually. Far too casually.

Lily pursed her lips. "You're not going to get caught, are you?" she said, ignoring his statement and choosing to admire the Marauders' work instead.

"Potter!" Mulciber yelled from his high-up position. "_I will get you for this!_" Students turned to look back at James, who looked unfazed.

Mulciber's limbs, attached to giant puppet strings that extended into the vast sky-ceiling of the Great Hall, continued to move up and down in a robotic-like dance as he screamed in outrage and humiliation. He was a one-man puppet show, dancing for the amusement of the crowd. The more the crowd cheered, the faster Mulciber danced, floating ten feet up in the air, surrounded by a bubble of protection that forced the professors to work harder than usual to get him down safely. Genius.

James shrugged. "Don't tell me you're concerned, Evans. Or perhaps you want me to get caught so you don't have to work with me anymore."

Again, she ignored him. "Puppet strings, huh? Better than anything I could have thought of."

"Really?" James said, turning to look at her straight on for the first time in a while. "Sirius told me he got the idea from a conversation with you," he said, his eyes probing.

She wasn't sure if she was still breathing. That prick, Sirius Black. He _would_ take a private conversation and use its contents as a public display. She suddenly didn't find the prank that amusing anymore. This was as much a message to Lily as a message to Mulciber.

"Hm," she said, turning away to study the crowd. "He _did_ ask me to teach him how to knit," she said, finally finding the pair of grey eyes she was searching for. Sirius Black, standing inconspicuously across the hall with Remus and Peter, winked at her as she glared in return. Message received.

"So, I know we're still not on normal speaking terms, but do you think we should round up students and get them out of here?" James asked casually, staring up at his handiwork.

"No," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "No, let them stay a while. It doesn't look like he's coming down any time soon."

James glanced at her again with a small smile. It made her pulse race and her hands sweat. "You never cease to surprise me, Evans," he said quietly.

"The feeling's mutual, Potter," Lily said, embracing for the first time ever, that what she was saying was true. The feelings were mutual.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, this was a quick update, yes? Does that make you happy? **

**I know a lot doesn't happen in this chapter, but it will get better soon, I promise. There are just a lot of subplots going on right now and I'm trying to sort them out. If you note any discontinuities, please point them out to me before I post the next chapter! **

**Good news is, I wrote about 4.5 chapters worth of material in the last couple days! Hoorah! The bad news is, only 2 chapters are in order, meaning it's still going to be a while before I post them, haha. But Petunia scenes soon! Which were my favorite to write so far! Yay!**

**I know a lot of you are probably looking forward to the James-Lily date, which is understandable, but I just want to let you know now that I don't really want to make this story all about their super-romantic, tension-filled love story. I want it to be just as important to bring in elements about the war, because obviously, they are living in a time of war! So, if I don't spend as much time describing their first date and what they're wearing and small details like that, please don't be disappointed! I haven't written that chapter yet though, so feel free to send in your ideas of what you'd like to see! If I like them, I will try to incorporate them as much as possible. **

**I also want them to leave Hogwarts as soon as possible because there is just so much more opportunity for new things. What I'm thinking is that after a Christmas break scene, I will skip forward in time to their graduation from seventh year and onto the real world, because there isn't much that can happen at Hogwarts right now. It's very confining. **

**Let me know your thoughts! I will try to respond to reviews if you give me ideas or suggestions. Wow, this Author's Note was long. Hopefully some of you actually read this. REVIEW! **


	12. Chapter 12: Important Discussions

**12: Important Discussions**

Lily received news of her sister's engagement in the morning, just as she was finishing her first cup of coffee. When she finished reading the letter, she poured herself another cup, feeling like this was going to be a long day.

Her mother informed her the wedding would be taking place in the summer so Lily could attend and take part as a bridesmaid. She downed half her coffee in one gulp, effectively burning her tongue and esophagus.

"You okay, Lily?" Mary asked her.

She coughed, wincing. "Going to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding in the summer. Hopefully Voldemort kills me before then," she said morbidly.

"Don't be crass," Alice chided. "You get to try on dresses and be made up! It should be fun," she said.

"It _would_ be fun, if my sister and I enjoyed each other's company, and if I actually supported their union, like you and Frank."

"I'm sure your future brother-in-law is not that bad," Mary said.

"He talked to me about his promotion at a _drill company_ and his ability to buy a new car for literally two hours. And he spoke about my magical ability like it was some sort of fatal condition that couldn't be cured. No doubt Petunia's influence," she said, folding the letter and roughly pushing it into her pocket.

"He knows about you? And he's a Muggle?"

"My mom made 'Tuney tell him if they were serious about getting married. He promised her he 'wouldn't hold my _condition_ against her'. It isn't 'Tuney's fault her sister is a freak, after all. Such a prick."

"But he's a Muggle?" Mary said, still shocked that a Muggle could know about the wizarding world.

"The most dull Muggle ever to have walked this planet. But I guess that makes him Petunia's soul mate," Lily said rudely, feeling guilty that she said such horrible things about her sister, but not so much as to take it back. Years of being called a freak could do that to a person.

"But doesn't that break the International Statute of Secrecy, or whatever?" Mary asked.

Lily shook her head. "Petunia probably told him I was some sort of hacked-up version of the real thing, probably telling him I go to school to study party tricks used to entertain Muggle children at birthday parties," she said. "He doesn't know half of it."

Alice and Mary exchanged their looks of mutual understanding of Lily's unreasonable malice towards her sister. They understood that Lily had given up trying to please Petunia after all the continuous abuse she received, and that it was just another wall Lily put up to keep from being hurt. They nodded sympathetically, which Lily found extremely condescending, and continued on with their breakfast.

Lily couldn't help but shoot a look at James and the Marauders, who looked to be having a much more enjoyable breakfast than she was. Sirius, Remus and Peter were still under heavy scrutiny from McGonagall after the Mulciber puppet-dance incident, but none of the evidence was compelling enough to get them caught. Lily and James had also not exchanged words since the incident either, which was starting to make her anxious.

She still hadn't told Mary and Alice about the kiss, which was weighing down on her like an anvil tied around her neck. She knew the longer she waited, the bigger deal it would become, but she couldn't get the proper words out to explain the delicate nature of the situation. Sirius' words were still ringing in her mind—not to mention the obvious reminder in the form of a strings-attached Mulciber—and she thought she should sort that out before letting Mary and Alice in on the loop.

"Why isn't James eating breakfast with us?" Mary asked her.

Lily froze, then shrugged, trying to play it cool, but probably failing.

"Did something happen between you two?" Alice asked.

Lily shrugged again, not entirely comfortably about lying to her friends and figuring that shrugging was the most neutral response.

Mary frowned and hit her fork against her plate. "You're hiding something, Evans."

"I'll tell you later. I have to run now, though. Forgot my Transfiguration textbook in my room," she said, running away before they could question her further.

As Lily walked by the corridor where she had invisibly run into Remus and James the night before, she recalled the bits of conversation she overheard. There was a bit about being thrown into the ground by a magical creature repeatedly, which made her insides scream with panic. She told James she'd let it go, but it was almost impossible now without worrying about the Marauders' safety. How could they do that without contracting lycanthropy, or being killed? How powerful were those four teenaged wizards? It was so unbelievably frustrating, Lily was tempted to steal James' Invisibility Cloak again and follow the lads around until one of them slipped up and revealed their secret.

She knew she was really just distracting herself with this until she figured out what she was going to do about James and all his feelings. And her mutual feelings. She hated feelings. Anger was just so much easier.

Lily sighed, knowing in her heart what she wanted to do. She wanted to be laughing with James at breakfast and not be afraid to want to, either.

Damn mutual feelings and making her want things.

She'd made up her mind. Sirius Black could go to Hell.

.

James watched as Lily exited the Great Hall and prepped himself for his speech. He hadn't prepared word for word what he was going to say, but he knew the gist of what he wanted to get across. He also had no idea what Lily was going to do or say, so there was that scary factor.

There were only twenty minutes before the first class, so he rushed to the Heads Wing. Lily wasn't in the Common Room, so he went to her door, his heart being annoyingly loud as he approached. Her door was open and she was sitting at her desk, writing on some parchment.

"Lily?" he said, knocking twice.

She jumped and turned around. "Oh, bloody hell, James. Hi."

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, awkwardly shuffling with his hair. "I just wanted to say thanks for returning the Map. I nearly forgot to ask for it back, and that would have been a disaster. It came in use yesterday," he said, referring to the Mulciber prank.

"No problem," she said, catching his drift. "Is that it?"

"No, actually," he said. "Do you mind if I come in?" he asked tentatively.

Her eyebrows crunched together and she crossed her arms over her chest. "No. Be my guest."

He stepped across the threshold, but not much further. He didn't want to be too close to her in case she did something unexpected. Or he did.

"Okay, I know this is going to be uncomfortable for both of us, but I think it's best if we just clear the air," he started, his pulse going out of control. His mouth felt as dry as the Quidditch pitch in the summer, and all the life-preserving instincts in his body were telling him to run far, far away. But his feet remained planted, and so did his resolve.

She broke eye contact and looked down without saying anything, so James continued.

"You were previously under the impression that I had asked you out all those years because I was being a prick and trying to _humiliate_ you, but alas, that is not true," he said, refusing to look at her now so that he didn't have to see the pitying look on her face. _Alas? Merlin._ "I'm not exactly sure what that kiss was about, but you don't have to explain or do anything. In fact, we can even forget it happened, if you want," James said, then stopped. He looked up and found Lily looking up at him. Something inside of him clicked when their eyes met and he changed his course.

"Hold on, actually, no. I don't mean that. I don't want to forget it ever happened, because it did, and frankly, it was perfect. I may not be the brightest bulb when it comes to you, but bloody hell, Evans! You don't just kiss me like that, and then expect me to just tell you to just forget it happened! And I could have sworn we had some sort of moment yesterday. I may have been imagining things, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't. So, there. I said it and now it's out there."

Lily was looking at him with wide eyes and James could feel each red blood cell passing through his arteries. She wasn't yelling or freaking out or hexing him, and it was all too much to handle.

James swore and was about to leave, when Lily spoke. "So, what are you saying exactly, I'm a bit confused," she said simply, with no other indication of what she was feeling.

James froze and turned around. "I don't know. I'm torn between humiliating myself further, or just lying to myself and leaving. It's a tough choice," he said, not looking at her eyes.

She stood up and he tensed. "You've already humiliated yourself thus far, you may as well continue," she said.

James glared at her, feeling his face heat up ridiculously. "Thanks, Evans, that's real great of you—"

"No, no," she said, taking a step closer to him. "That's not what I meant. Bollocks. Relax, James, I'm not going to take your head off, for Merlin's sake," she said with a timid smile. James was stunned into silence. He couldn't feel his legs anymore and he wasn't sure if he was still breathing. Time seemed to stand still until Lily's mouth began to move again.

"Remember that talk about change we had a while ago? And how I'm shit at it? That applies here. I'm not good with change. This is a lot to digest and I still don't really know what it is that this is," she said, stumbling over her words and gesturing a lot between them. "I think, _er_, I think I fancy you. Probably more than just platonically, but I'm still not sure. Okay? Is that okay with you? I just need to figure out if this is really what I want. I'm not making any sense, I know, so I'm just going to shut up now," she said, her face red and her hands moving nervously. "And if you were not thinking the same thing, then pretend I didn't say anything," she said, realizing that perhaps James wasn't on the same page as she was.

"Now I'm confused," he said with a smile that he could barely keep from ripping his face in two. "Did you say you fancy me, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes and sat back down at her desk. "Of course that is the only thing you heard from that long-winded confession. I did say that, but I also said—"

James didn't wait for her to finish speaking. Instead, he closed the gap between them and bent down to kiss her, cupping her face with his hands. She was surprised at first, but then responded warmly to his lips.

"Such a ponce, I wasn't done speaking," she said, his hands still on her face. He was pleased to hear she sounded a bit out of breath. It made a pleasant chill travel down his spine.

James grinned and kissed her softly again. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words, Evans," he said, pulling his face back so he could look at her properly. She was looking appropriately flustered.

"Like I said before," she said, standing and taking a step back from him so he wouldn't kiss-interrupt her again. "I need some time to work through what I'm feeling right now, okay, Potter? I'm not sure—"

"What, Evans?" he said with a laugh. "Did you like kissing me, or not? Do you like spending time with me, or not? It's that simple," he said with a grin, taking a step toward her.

She frowned. "It is not. Stop right there, before I hex you," she said when he took another step.

He stopped and blew air into his fringe. "Evans, you're over-thinking."

"Perhaps, but that's how I operate. I need to over-think, or else I will never be sure," she said. "I'm not asking you to wait, but—actually yes, I'm asking you to wait," she said, blushing again.

James made a show a sighing like it was a burden to him, and she rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. But I'm only seventeen, Evans. I'm not perfect. I can't wait for long," he said gravely.

She bit her lip and nodded stiffly. "Okay. That's reasonable. This was a lovely conversation, but I need to go now," she said.

He groaned. "Stop running away, Evans!" he said following her out of her room.

"I over-think and then I run away to over-think some more, Potter, you can't change me," Lily said, smiling despite herself as she stepped towards the door. "I know you have class now too, but wait two minutes before following, will you?"

He rolled his eyes and plopped himself on the couch. "Do you want me to time precisely two minutes, or should I just use my judgment?" he said sarcastically, glancing at his watch.

"If I asked you to time it, would you?" she asked, grinning one last time before shutting the door behind her without an answer.

James scoffed at her cheekiness, then laughed, feeling a huge weight lift off his shoulders and transform into a light Snitch, flying around his head and making him dizzy. He felt euphoric and nervous, just like before every prank, when he was appointed Head Boy, when he went flying on his broom. He knew he was lying when he said he couldn't wait for a long time for her to decide. It would be painful, but if she asked, he'd probably wait forever.

.

"Why are you smiling?" Mary asked bluntly as she walked into class. Alice chastised her with her eyes, but Mary wasn't paying attention.

"I'm allowed to smile," Lily said, trying to calm her heart and the strange feelings going through her body. She tried to tone down her smiling, so she bit the inside of her lip painfully. It probably looked like she was smiling at her pain, now.

"You were just complaining about Petunia not half an hour ago," Mary said.

"For Merlin's sake, Mary," Alice said under her breath.

"Shit," Lily said, the unpleasant memories returning to her.

"Now look what you've done," Alice said.

"What?" Mary said. "I'm just being honest."

"Whatever, it's fine. I'm still mad about that, but I can be happy about other things at the same time," Lily said. James walked into the class, not looking at her, exactly two minutes after she had. She smiled again but he didn't look at her.

"Things that you're going to tell us about?" Mary probed.

"Later," she whispered as McGonagall began to speak. James sat down in front of her, next to Sirius, still without glancing or anything, and she tried to hide her disappointment. She thought he would at least give her a look or a smile, or _something_. She got out her notes and began to write down what McGonagall was saying when a different kind of note appeared on her page.

She opened the folded bit of parchment.

_**I timed two minutes before following. How much longer do you want me to wait? Just so I can set some sort of alarm.**_

_Longer, if you keep being a prick,_ she responded, fighting to keep her smile in check.

_**You know**_, she read, _**you could potentially work out these feelings away from the school. Like in a nearby magical village that sells sweets and has nice restaurants. You never know. Having pleasant conversations with a ridiculously attractive man who will buy you food and gifts could potentially help expedite this pesky over-thinking business.**_

Lily's nerves wound themselves up and she felt the insides of her organs get all mushy.

_Do you have something specific in mind? Or is this all hypothetical?_

_**Hypothetically, if you were to agree to this outing to a specific location, I could hypothetically start counting down to a specific time…**_

Lily bit her lip to keep from smiling.

_So, hypothetically, are you specifically asking me to Hogsmeade?_

She levitated it onto his desk without McGonagall seeing and waited impatiently.

_**Depends. Are you going to call me a bullying toe-rag and angrily stomp away? 'Cause if you are, then definitely yes, I'm specifically asking you to Hogsmeade.**_

Lily bit down harder on her lip.

_Prick._

_**Is that a yes?**_

_Hypothetically, a girl wouldn't want to be asked to Hogsmeade when McGonagall is talking about turning water into animals. _

_**So if I ask you later, it'll be a yes?**_

_Possibly. But if your plan involves enormous signs put up in the Great Hall with your face on it—rethink, Potter. _

_**Got it. You want enormous signs with YOUR face on it. As you wish..**_**.**

Lily kicked the leg of his chair, but he didn't flinch. Instead, he looked over his shoulder casually, and winked at her.

_It's a maybe, you arse. Don't muck it up._

.

Severus watched with clenched fists as Lily and Potter exchanged notes during Transfiguration. It took him all the self-control he had to stop from using _Sectumsempra_ on Potter. His fingers were just itching…

And Lily, with that smile. She had never smiled at him like that in all the time they were friends and he felt a jealous rage engulf him. He could hardly see straight and he gripped his wand harder in the pocket of his robes, wondering what punishment he would get from stunning Potter in the middle of class. Lily got away with stunning Mulciber at breakfast, but McGonagall favored her, so perhaps that wasn't a great idea. He mentally flipped through his Potions book for an appropriate brew to harm Potter in some way, but he couldn't think of anything with Lily smiling like that.

"Mr. Snape. What is the answer to question six?" McGonagall asked him as he was plotting his murder.

"I don't know, Professor."

She pursed her thin lips at him and nodded. "Five points from Slytherin. Pay attention, please, Mr. Snape."

Severus ground his teeth as Black and Potter chuckled at him and he almost snapped his wand in half. Couldn't Lily see what malicious, immature, idiotic pricks they were? _Why_ would she choose to associate with them when she could barely stay in the same room with him anymore? Did years of friendship mean nothing to her? Sev was the first one to be kind to her, the one to teach her about this world, the one to comfort her when her sister was unkind and evil. And she betrayed him like this? How could she?

As soon as class was over, Sev went to the Slytherin Common Room and found Regulus.

"Snape," he greeted nonchalantly.

"Tell Him that I want in. Now. And that I don't want to wait until Christmas break. I want our next mission now," he said.

The younger Black leered at him and leaned back in his chair. "How precious, Severus. You think you can just command the Dark Lord to give us a new mission? _He_ makes the calls when he wants to."

Severus stayed where he was, staring at Regulus determinedly.

Regulus sucked his teeth and leaned forward on his knees. He sighed. "Fine, since you're so adamant, I will try and ask him for further directions. Perhaps he will take well to your initiative, but it's possible he asks me to kill you instead. Are you okay with those terms, Snape?"

Snape nodded once curtly and disappeared to his dorm with Regulus' laugh sending him off.

.

"Okay, Evans. Out with it," Mary said, dragging her away after class.

"Please don't kill me," Lily said.

"Why would we kill you?" Alice asked. "Have you done something that merits murder?"

"I don't know," Lily said honestly.

"Oooh, now I'm really curious," Mary said, opening the door of an empty classroom and pushing Lily inside. "Confess your sins, Lily."

She sighed. "Okay, first, I would like to remind you that you said if I changed my mind about James, you'd nod a bit and then let it go."

"I knew it!" Mary screamed with an enormous smile. "I knew it, I knew it!"

Lily scowled. "You said you wouldn't make a big deal."

"I said no such thing. That was Alice's ridiculous statement," Mary said as Alice smiled at Lily. "So, what happened? Did something happen or is it just a crush thing?" She gasped. "Did you two sleep together?"

"No! Bloody hell, Mary," Lily said. "No, we just sort of, you know, kissed. And it was nice. And that's it. End of story."

Mary squealed and both Alice and Lily covered their ears. "Ah! Details, Lily! Were his lips soft, or grossly chapped? Where did he put his hands? I bet he's a great kisser—"

"And that's my cue to leave," Lily said, going for the door.

"No, no, no, no, Lily! Fine, don't share, but what now? Are you two together, or what?"

"I don't know. We haven't really discussed it."

"You're a shit liar. You're blushing."

"No, really. He hasn't asked me to Hogsmeade or anything, and I really don't know what's going to happen."

"But do you fancy him?" Mary probed.

"Of course she does, Mary, just look at her face," Alice said, giggling. "Well done, Lily. James is a good bloke and we're just happy you two are over those terrible years of fighting."

"A.K.A., all of that sexual tension—"

"Goodbye, Mary!"

As Lily left the classroom, she bumped into someone, books tumbling to the ground.

"_Oof_! Oh, I'm so sorry," Lily said, crouching to pick up the girl's books.

"No problem," Marlene McKinnon replied. "Head students aren't supposed to apologize."

"Please don't tell that to James, he'll be insufferable. Actually, he already is most of the time, come to think of it," Lily said.

Marlene squinted at Lily the tiniest amount, but Lily noticed. "I don't think we've ever been formally introduced. Lily Evans."

"Marlene McKinnon."

"Assistant Captain on the Quidditch team, right?" Lily asked.

"Didn't know you followed Quidditch. That's right."

"I don't know the first thing about it, but I know James can't be doing all of that by himself. You're probably the only reason he's still functioning normally."

Marlene snorted. "I don't think _I'm_ the reason. Anyway, nice meeting you, Lily." She smiled, then walked away.

"Careful with that one, Evans," Mary said, appearing from behind her suddenly and giving Lily a startle. "She's had her eye on James since they both made the Quidditch team."

"What?" Lily said, staring after the girl.

"Just silly rumors. Don't worry about it," Alice said.

"You know what they say about rumors," Mary chanted. "That they're mostly true," she whispered, directly into Lily's ear.

"Thanks, Mary."

.

"Are you sure about this, Prongs?" Sirius asked. "Are you sure this is what she wants?"

"She said it was a maybe and not to muck it up," James replied, rubbing his palms on his pants.

"I don't know. Maybe you should hold off until…"

"Until what?" James asked him. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Like what?" Sirius said, acting far too casual. He knew something. Ever since pranking Mulciber he was acting strange and being far more elusive than usual. "Well, whatever. Do you want us to start making signs, or…?"

"No signs," James said. "No, I need something different."

"Hey, whaddya know, Remus. He's learning," Sirius said.

"Fuck off."

"Back at you, laddie."

"Prongs can figure it out on his own," Remus said. "Just make sure you run it by us before you actually go through with it. Sure you don't want us to ask Lily if this is—"

"You are all pricks," James said, standing to leave.

"If she doesn't want huge signs, what does she want?" Pete asked, as if that was the only thing a girl could hope for in being asked to Hogsmeade.

"I'm leaving." James left his friends at the Gryffindor table and went to go think it through on the Quidditch Pitch.

James knew that the signs and large public displays were what Lily hated, so he just had to do the opposite of that. Easy enough, right?

.

Lily was in her fourth detention with Slughorn, this time moving onto the dirty cauldrons needing to be cleaned. She thought the Slug would go easy on her, but that was not the case. Her skin on her hands was beginning to suffer with all the harsh chemicals. She should have asked for gloves.

"Snape," a familiar voice said from outside her classroom.

She quietly made her way to the door and put her ear to the crack. She wished she had James' Cloak so she could spy properly.

"Black. You wanted to meet? Why here, might I ask?"

"Didn't want the other Slytherins overhearing. I did as you requested of me."

"And?" Sev said, sounding impatient.

"He requires nothing of us until Christmas. However, he was impressed with your tenacity. You're in. We all will be, come December."

"Is that it?" Snape asked, dully.

Regulus laughed. "Is that it? Severus, show some excitement. The Dark Lord—"

One of the cauldrons Lily was cleaning clattered to the floor and she bit her lip painfully. Shit. They'd find her here and Black would probably kill her—

Another louder, more dangerous sounding _bang_ went off in the hallway and Lily stopped herself from making a noise of surprise.

"Shit. Move, Snape!" Regulus hissed before their footsteps could be heard running away.

Lily held her breath behind some desks as the door creaked open and closed shut. She couldn't see who entered the room, but she was too terrified to move and find out. It could have been Regulus finding refuge in the classroom and any wrong move—

"Shh, Evans, it's me."

"Shit, James!" she hissed, turning around and seeing nothing. "Come out! I can't see you!"

He took off his Cloak and gave her a grin. She noticed him stuff the Map in his pocket as he sat down on the cold dungeon floor next to her. "What are you doing on the floor?" he whispered to her.

She hit him hard on the arm. "You nearly gave me a heart attack, arse! What are you doing here?"

"Came to crash your detention and then I saw Snape and Reg meeting outside the class you were in. I waited around, but then I heard you make a noise—clumsy—and I came to your rescue. _Tada_!"

"Isn't Filch going to come check what the noise was?"

"Good thing I have an Invisibility Cloak, huh, Evans?" he said with a cheeky grin before disappearing again.

"James!" she hissed.

"What's going on here?" Filch said, opening the door.

"Oh, Mr. Filch!" Lily said, standing up from the floor and trying to act casual. She thought she could hear James chuckle, but she was probably imagining it. She thought she could feel the rustle of his Cloak behind her or his breath at her neck, but she was probably imagining that, too. Regardless, she remained completely still just in case he was nearby and she inadvertently gave him away by running into him.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"I have detention with Professor Slughorn," she said, ignoring the breath at her ear and the erratic beating of her heart. Where was he?

"What was that noise?"

"I have no idea, Sir, I was just cleaning cauldrons and I heard the bang. Maybe some Slytherin first years causing trouble?"

Filch grunted and turned, Mrs. Norris on his heels. "Hurry it up in here!" he said before leaving her alone.

"Why are you standing like that, Lily?" James said, appearing on the other side of the classroom.

She immediately crossed the floor and took the Cloak out of his hands. "Gimme that, you prick."

"Hey, what if he comes back?"

"Good think you have a handy little Map for that, huh, Potter?" Lily said, stuffing the Cloak into her pocket. She could have sworn James had been beside her the entire time Filch was there…how did he get across the room so quickly? She was probably just losing her mind.

"What did you blow up?" she asked him, ignoring his plea for his Cloak back.

He pulled out his wand. "Nothing. Just a fake-exploding charm from my wand. Effective, no?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why are you here again?"

"Aren't you glad to see me?" he said, grinning.

She didn't answer, not willing to give him the satisfaction. Because she was glad to see him. If it weren't for his timely arrival, Sev and Black would probably be with her instead.

"I overheard some stuff right before you came," she said, picking up the dropped cauldron and rubbing half-heartedly.

"Yeah, I heard it too."

"Snape's joining them officially."

James looked indifferent, which didn't surprise her. "He's made his choice, Lily. Nothing you could do to change that."

"I know."

"So," James said, taking steps closer to her. He took the cauldron from her hands and pulled out a red rose from behind his back. "The real reason why I came to crash your detention wasn't to bail you out of tight spot, actually," he said with a timid grin.

Lily's eyes widened and she took a calming breath. "Oh?"

James' grin widened. "Will you go to Hosgmeade with me, Evans?"

Lily smiled, accepting the rose from his hand. "It's a date, Potter."

James blinked, frozen for a moment.

"James? You okay?"

"Sorry. I…I almost expected you to say no."

Lily felt guilty for those years of yelling when she thought he was teasing her and hit him in the cheek with her rose. "Sorry to disappoint, Potter, but I think you're sort of stuck with me now."

James grinned again and put a hand on her waist, pulling her against him and lowering his forehead to hers. "You're the one who's stuck, Evans."

She closed her eyes, expecting James to kiss her, but instead, he dashed to the door, clenching his fist in the air. "Catch you later, Evans!" he said, disappearing under his Cloak that he'd swiped from her robe pocket.

"Prick!" she hissed at him, feeling embarrassed and slightly disappointed that he had left so quickly.

She smelled her rose and put it in a safe place as she finished up her detention.

When she returned to the Heads Wing an hour later, she found James and Marlene sitting on the couch talking. Marlene looked upset and when Lily entered, seemed to deflate.

"Hello," Lily said. "Am I interrupting?" she asked.

James looked uncomfortable. "No, we were just discussing some Quidditch things. Marlene?"

"Yeah," Marlene said, standing and wiping her face. Was she crying? Oh no. She saw the rose in Lily's hand and shook her head. "Actually, no, we weren't discussing Quidditch," Marlene said, changing her expression to something more determined. Lily had a bad feeling.

"Marley," James warned.

"No, James," Lily said. "It's okay. I can leave if you want to finish up. Obviously it's important." She made a move for the door.

"No, it's okay, Lily. I'm leaving. Sorry to cause you such discomfort, Captain. We can continue discussing _Quidditch_ at a later event—"

There was a knock on the door. Lily went to open it as Marlene went to leave.

"Remus?" Lily asked. "What are you doing here?" She noticed him stuff a bit of parchment in his pocket, like James had done a couple hours earlier. "Come in."

"Rem," James said.

What a strange collection of people this was.

"You, _ah_, you said you wanted to discuss some things, Prongs? Asked me to come?" Remus said, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

Marlene scoffed. "To discuss _Quidditch_? You're unbelievable, James. Are you that afraid of being alone with me, you had to call your friend over?"

"Mar, you know it's not like that—"

"Don't call me that. You know what? I quit. I quit the team. Good luck with everything," she said, storming past Lily and giving Remus a glare as she went.

"Okay," Lily said. "Can someone explain to me what just happened?"

"I should go after her—" James said.

"No," Remus said, putting out a hand. "I'll do it. You two talk." Remus left the room like a herd of hippogriffs was on his tail.

"Shit," James said. "How am I going to find a replacement for Marlene this late?"

"I think you have far bigger issues right now, don't you? Marlene seemed pretty upset. And why was Remus here again?"

"I'm sorry, Lil, I truly am—"

"Stop apologizing and tell me what happened."

James sighed and slumped back onto the couch. Lily decided to stand, just in case she didn't like what he was going to say next.

"Okay, so Marlene asked me if we could have a word today about some things."

"That's a start. Was she upset when she asked you this?"

"No, just nervous, I guess," James said, looking uncomfortable.

"Okay."

"And so I offered to come up to Gryffindor Common Room and we could chat, but then she said it wasn't private enough—"

"I beg your pardon?"

Despite the tense situation, James found the nerve to smile. "Is that jealousy?"

"Depends on the next words out of your mouth," Lily said.

"Look, I'm not a slimy person, all right? I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say, and I didn't want to shut her down, just like that. So I thought I'd give her a chance—"

"And you brought her back here?"

James put his hands up. "As much as my ego is feeling great right now at that angry blush on your face, you need to give me a chance to explain before you hex me, okay?"

Lily crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yes, I told her to come here. You were going to be in detention anyway—"

Lily's eyebrows rose into her hairline.

"Okay, okay, that sounded like an excuse. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean then?"

"I meant, she could tell me what she needed to get off her chest without worrying if you were going to come in."

"Why would she worry?"

He gave her a look. She waited for him to continue.

James sighed. "I knew Marlene had a crush on me and I had a feeling she was going to confess it all tonight. Look, she's my friend, and I know what it's like having all these pent up feelings without a receptacle to put them in, so I figured I'd give her the chance to let it all out, and then move past it. It was just easier if you weren't here. I wasn't trying to pull something over on you, Evans."

"And Remus? Why was he here? I'm guessing you asked him to come if he saw me coming back," Lily said, remembering the Map he had put into his pocket before he'd come inside.

James looked nervous. "I just didn't want you coming back to see me alone with Marlene. I worried you might get the wrong idea."

Lily laughed, but not out of humor. "More wrong than this?"

"Okay, okay," James said standing. "Look, it wasn't the smartest plan, and obviously it backfired, but you have to know, Evans. I don't know what I'm doing all right? I have know idea what I'm supposed to do with you, and Marlene threw me a rogue bludger today, and I had no idea how to deal with that, okay? I wasn't trying to deceive you, I just—I just don't know what I'm doing."

Lily softened her expression at the lost look on his face. "You're such an idiot, Potter," she said, sitting down on the couch and putting her rose on the table.

"Hey, at least I'm not a cheater."

Lily hit him on the arm for that. "But you are a liar. And sort of a coward. So I'm not sure if that's any better."

"Don't tell me you're going to cancel our date over this."

"'Course not. I'm not that petty. Besides, it's not like you were confessing your crush to Marlene, were you?"

"No, I told you, Evans. You're stuck," he said with a grin.

She scoffed. "I thought you meant I was the one stuck in detention while you disappeared with your Cloak."

"Meant that, too."

"Okay, arse. I don't want to be a jealous shrew. That's not the way I want this to work," she said. James looked her in the eyes and she almost forgot what she was going to say. Oh, yes. "But you trying to cover up things like this doesn't really help things."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to worry."

"Worry about what?" she asked with a small smile. "That McKinnon was going to steal you away with just one word while I was in detention? Please," she said, laughing.

"Hey, I don't like how you're taking this so lightly. It's entirely possible. I've known Marlene for a long time and she's much nicer to me than you are," he said, frowning.

"Go ahead, Potter," she said with a taunting smile.

"Fine," he said, taking her rose from the table and going to the door. "Maybe I will."

"Oi, you can't steal my flower," she said.

James went to open the door. "If you want it, come and get it," he said, hand on the doorknob.

Lily frowned but stood up. "James."

"What? It's right here," he said, holding it out in front of her.

She quickly stepped toward him and grabbed the flower from his hand. Before she could turn around and retreat to her room, he grabbed her waist and pulled her in, turning her around so her back was against the door. She inhaled sharply, her heart pounding in her chest as his face lowered to hers.

"I promise not to lie to you, Evans."

"Me too, Potter," she responded.

"Good," he said, dropping a quick, and somewhat unsatisfying kiss on her lips and releasing his hold on her. He went to sit on the couch and picked up an errant book on the table to read.

"That's it?" she asked, still standing with her back against the door.

"What?" he said, with a fake-oblivious look on his face.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Reading," he said with a short laugh.

"Weren't you about to do something?" she asked, frustrated.

"Like what, Evans?" he said, grinning full out now. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was so frustrating. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Want in on a secret?" he said.

"What?" she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're not the only one who knows how to play hard to get," he said with a wink.

She had to admit, she was shocked. He laughed at her expression and leaned back on the couch, opening the book and pretending to read as she figured out what she was supposed to do next.

Lily pushed herself off the door and went to stand in front of him. She carefully removed the book from his hands, and he looked at her curiously as she put it back on the table.

"Evans?" he said, as she sat down on his lap, straddling his legs.

She smiled at him only briefly before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him like she had wanted him to after he'd given her the rose and just moments ago by the door. It didn't take him long to respond, running his hands around her waist and up her back.

He pulled her closer and his tongue met hers, as she ran her fingers through his hair.

James groaned when his fingers snuck up under her t-shirt, meeting her bare skin. Damn, that felt good. She knew he was going to move soon into a more comfortable position, and she could have let him, but that would have ruined her plan.

She pulled back, both of them breathing heavily.

"James," Lily said.

"Mhm," he replied, his lips at her neck and moving down.

"Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow."

'What?" he asked, pulling his head back so he could look at her. She dropped a small, unsatisfactory peck on his lips and stood from his lap, grabbing her flower from the table and waving at him as she shut the door to her bedroom.

Lily sat down on the floor, taking deep breaths and smiling at the look on his face when she had stood up and left. It was a mean, almost cruel, thing to do, but it had been hard on her, too. It was taking all the strength she had not to go back out there and continue where they had left off, but she had to exercise self-restraint.

Merlin, it was going to be difficult.

* * *

**Author's Note: Voila, here it is. Not my best chapter, I know, but it's pretty long. The ones to come will be much better, I promise. I just wanted to get their together-ness out of the way, sort of, because I feel like the rest of their story is so much more interesting. Don't get me wrong, I love all the Lily-James fluff, but I don't think that's my writing strong point. So, look forward to more interesting chapters coming! **

**I will most likely post the next chapter really, really soon since it's basically the second part to this chapter, I just needed to split it in half because of length. **

**Anyway, I have almost up until chapter 21 written! It's been a very productive week for me in terms of fanfic writing, haha, which means it's been unproductive in almost everything else. This chapter almost seems old to me because I've been writing so much far ahead. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**

**Also, over 5,000 views on this story! Thanks! :)**


	13. Chapter 13: A Person's Character

**13: A Person's Character **

Lily Evans, the most likely cause of James' untimely death.

He still hadn't moved from the couch, still hoping that Lily would come back out. Merlin, what had he been thinking, believing he could break her more easily than she could break him?

"Lily," he said, knocking on her door. He sat down on the ground with his back to the door. "That was a heartless thing you did," he said. "You win."

He heard her laugh. "You know," she said through the door. "This living together thing might be a bit of an issue."

Didn't he know it. "No shit, Evans. You better not open this door, you hear me? Or we might have some trouble."

She didn't answer for a long while and he wondered if he scared her off. "What if I want to open the door?" she said.

Fuck. Damn. Shit. Damn. "I'll run into mine, then," he said, for lack of anything better. His voice had turned raspy and weak and he wondered if she'd even heard him.

"Scared, Potter?" she said.

"Terrified. You scare the living shit out of me."

She laughed. "I'm taking that as a compliment."

"It was meant to be."

"You scare me too, Potter," she said quietly.

"Sorry. I'll try to comb my hair down a bit, but it doesn't work. Just ask my mum."

She laughed lightly. "You know what I mean."

"Why are you scared?"

"Dunno. We've been enemies for so long, what's changed so much this year that we can suddenly just work things out? Like you said before, we don't know what we're doing. I almost blew my head off at you earlier over something so inconsequential, you know. What's going to happen if I actually do one day and then, _bam_, it's over?"

He wished he could see her face right now, but he knew that this door had to remain closed. "You're being silly. Nothing's going to happen. We'll work it out together. Besides, we haven't even been on our first date yet, let's not get ahead of ourselves, yeah?"

"Okay," she said. "It's much easier talking to you when I can't see your face," she admitted through the door.

"Uh, Evans, is there something wrong with my face?" he asked.

She laughed. "No, it's just that you throw me off sometimes, you know? I want to say something, but then I look at your face and it's like you're challenging me and then I go and say the opposite, or do something stupid."

James laughed. "Why?"

"I don't know, Potter! We'd have severely less problems if I knew why!"

"Should I wear a veil every time we're together?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I _enjoy_ looking at your face, just sometimes it messes with my brain."

James smiled at that admission. "Lily, that's been happening to me since third year. Now you know how I feel."

"Oh, don't blame your stupidity on me," she said.

"It is entirely your fault."

"Potter, you're hopeless."

"That's not my fault either."

She laughed and he smiled.

"You know, maybe it would be easier if I slept over at Gryffindor Tower once in a while," she suggested. "Maybe it'll help things."

James frowned. "How?"

"I don't know. For a start, we wouldn't have to speak through doors just to stop us from, you know…going too far."

"But then we wouldn't be able to speak at all," he said, not liking this new arrangement.

"We'd see each other in class, Potter," she said. He imagined she was rolling her eyes. "And we are co-Heads. It's not like I'd be moving to a secluded island on the other side of the world."

"I don't know, Evans. I don't mind this so much."

"Of course you don't, Potter. That's part of the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just—I don't know. I'm not a prude, as you just saw from my earlier actions, but I'm not exactly sure about living with someone when there is clearly a _lot_ of attraction—"

"Hold it, Evans. Don't say another word. If that's what you're worried about, please don't. I can control myself, I promise. As long as you don't pull that kind of shit you just pulled on me daily, I think I can handle myself," he said.

She let out a short laugh. "Okay, fine. No more games."

"Good. No more games."

James fell backward as Lily opened the door. He quickly scrambled to his feet and faced a smiling Lily.

"No more games," she repeated.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"But you'll tell me, right? If living together gets too difficult?"

"Sure, yeah, of course," he said, nodding. Seeing her in front of him almost made him say it right then and there.

"Okay."

"Right."

She leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the lips. He made sure to keep his hands firmly away from her. "Night, James."

"Night," he said, smiling as she watched him with her green eyes until the door shut completely. "Night," he said again, too quiet for her to hear. Merlin.

.

When Lily finally fell asleep (it took her a long time because she kept thinking James was sitting outside her door), she had a dream about James being killed by a rabid werewolf (she knew werewolves couldn't contract rabies, but still) and was awoken abruptly in the middle of the night.

Amid all of the resolving of feelings and such, Lily had forgotten about a crucial bit of the Marauder saga involving their werewolf friend. She supposed she could go ask Remus about what they were doing, but he was such a loyal friend, she doubted he would say anything, especially since he was implicated.

Perhaps she could get it out of Peter. He seemed more likely to give up details of a certain plan if given enough incentive. She could provide incentive.

Sometime during her scheming to get Peter to admit the Marauder secrets, she fell asleep and woke up to her alarm clock.

Lily stepped outside her door just as James was exciting his. He was wearing nothing but boxer shorts, while Lily was in her pajama shorts and tank top.

"Morning," James said with a wide grin, looking Lily up and down as discreetly as he could. She tried not to stare at his bare chest, but was failing miserably. Not to mention his hair was more of a complete mess than it usually was and she had the strong urge to just run her hands through it, like she had last night.

"Morning," she replied, blushing furiously and trying to disappear into her bathroom before she could do something stupid. She wondered if he was purposely trying to bait her with his lack of clothing, but he had said they weren't going to play any more games last night. She concluded that he must just sleep in his underwear. He wasn't purposely trying to do anything. She was just being ridiculous, as usual. Merlin, she needed to get a grip.

But since when did they wake up at the same time? In all the time they had been living together, she hadn't run into him like this. She couldn't help but feel suspicious.

She got ready, trying to act like what was happening with their situation was normal, but she couldn't. She stepped out of her room with her books, ready to go down to breakfast, and James did the same. For Merlin's sake.

"What is happening?" James asked with a laugh.

"You're stalking me, Potter," she responded, holding the door open for him as they went to the Great Hall.

"Yeah right, Evans. I think you're stalking me."

"I always get up at 7:30 to get ready. You're the one who gets up thirty minutes before class starts," she said.

"_Aha_, who's the stalker now! You know what time I get up in the mornings," he said with an accusatory finger.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake."

He wrapped his arm over her shoulder, walking leisurely through the halls. "Maybe I just wanted to get breakfast today."

"Instead of running to the Kitchens with Sirius between the first two periods?"

"You really are a stalker, Evans. Merlin," he said with a grin.

"You and Black bring pastries into our second class! Where else would you get pastries at ten in the morning!" she said, outraged that she actually was coming off as a stalker instead of James. Damn him!

"Where do I go after dinner?" he asked, teasing.

"I'm not answering you."

"Because you don't know or because you are worried I might call the authorities on you?"

"Prick."

"Stalker."

"Arse."

"Perve."

"Your arm is heavy," she said, shrugging her shoulders, even though she secretly enjoyed it.

"Well then, let me get those books for you," he said, taking her books from her arms and holding them easily under one arm.

"Potter," she said, exasperated and light-headed at the same time. "If you just take your arm off, I can carry my books on my own."

"Then who will carry my arm?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Merlin, you are a special one, aren't you?"

"The most special, Evans. Don't forget it."

"Trust me, it's a bit difficult to."

He grinned at her as they entered the Great Hall together.

She caught a glimpse of Sev at the Slytherin Table and his withering glare at James, whose arm was still around her shoulders. She tried to forget about hearing that Sev was officially joining the Death Eaters. She reminded herself that there was nothing she could do for him now.

"See, Evans?" he whispered in her ear. "If you lived in Gryffindor Tower, we wouldn't be able to have such wonderful morning walks together," he said.

She smiled. "We're only walking together because you got up earlier than you normally do, creep," she replied.

He shook his head at her. "You always pretend to be annoyed by something that really makes you happy, Evans," he said. "That's not healthy."

She knew he was teasing, but it was only to veil the truth.

Lily looked ahead of her instead of at his face. "It's that face thing again," she said, sighing. "Messes with my brain, remember?"

"Well," he said. "You better practice changing that, Evans. 'Cause I happen to enjoy when you look at me and also admit things that make you happy," he said nonchalantly. She turned to look at him and he returned the serious expression. He broke the eye contact after a long while, for which she was grateful considering they were in a room full of people.

"Catch you later, Evans," James said, letting go of her shoulder as they arrived to Mary, Alice and Frank's spot at the table.

"What, you're not eating breakfast with me as well?" she asked.

"I know you'd like that, but unfortunately, the lads need some quality James time as well," he said with a wink.

"Potter, my books," she said as he began to walk away.

"Don't worry, I'll give them back in class," he said with a wave and a smile.

"What is going on?" Mary whispered as Lily sat down at the table, suspicious about James' motives for keeping her books. Lily turned to Mary, who had an almost manic expression on her face. "Are you two together now?"

"He asked me to Hogsmeade," she said with a casual shrug.

"Merlin, _seriously_?" Mary said. "Did you say yes?"

"Of course I said yes," Lily said with a snort. "I told you I fancied him, didn't I?"

"You hardly tell us anything!" Mary whined. "Details! How did he do it? We didn't see any signs around the school…"

"That's because Lily hated those signs," Alice said, rolling her eyes.

"I would have thought the day Lily Evans accepted a Hogsmeade date from James Potter would be the day that the entire school combusted," Frank added.

"Thanks, Frank," she said, giving her friend's boyfriend a sarcastic smile.

"Thank Merlin that didn't happen," Alice supplied.

"Lily, details!"

"Okay, all right! So, he crashed my detention last night—"

"How? Was he waiting for you there, or did he arrive at the end?"

"In the middle."

"Wasn't it past curfew by then?" Mary asked.

"Yes—"

"How did he sneak past professors and Filch?" Alice asked.

Oops. Lily forgot her friends didn't know about the Cloak or the Map. "He walks very quickly and quietly," she said.

"How sweet! Risking detention just to crash your detention!" Mary gushed.

"It wasn't that sweet," Lily said. They didn't realize he had basically risked nothing at all with the tools available to him.

"His thoughtfulness is wasted on you," Mary scolded. Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay, and then what?"

"He gave me a rose and asked if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade. Then I said, 'It's a date,' and done. That's it."

Mary's mouth was hanging open. "That is the most boring story I have ever heard."

Alice erupted into laughter as Frank scratched his head, uncomfortable.

"What?" Lily said. "Why is that boring?"

"He crashed your detention and then brought you a rose? That's so lame, Lily!"

"It is not!" she said, offended. "It was perfectly sweet and much more…intimate, than shouting it across the entire school grounds."

"I agree with Lily," Frank said. "It's the thought that counts, isn't it? Not everyone wants something that dramatic, do they?" he asked.

Alice was blushing.

"Frank!" Mary exclaimed. "Every girl wants to be swept off their feet and wants the entire world to know that a boy is in love with her, so much so that he is willing to stand up on a bench and scream it to the entire Great Hall—"

"Mary!" Alice chided. "Stop being ridiculous."

Lily bit her smile at Frank's uncomfortable quietness and Alice's pink cheeks. She wondered if Mary was speaking intentionally toward Frank, or if she was simply expressing her wants and desires publicly.

"What?" Mary said, with an expression that Lily found to be too innocent. "I'm just saying. Lily is missing out from all the extravagance old-James could have given her. Now they're just going to end up a boring old couple who thinks picnicking is an adventure."

Lily laughed as Alice shook her head. "I happen to enjoy picnicking." Lily said.

"Of course you do. Because are the opposite of extravagant."

"Mary, what would we do without you?"

"Be horribly boring people, that's what," Mary said with a smile. "So, what do you plan on wearing?"

"Wearing where?"

"Hogsmeade!"

"It's a week and a half away!"

"Precisely!"

"For Merlin's sake, Mary."

"I'm just saying!"

.

"Look at that smug smile," Sirius said as James sat down on the bench. "Did James get lucky last night, or is that just a face deformation?"

"Lily and I are going to Hogsmeade," he announced.

Sirius scoffed. "That's what's got you in such a good mood? Merlin."

"Congratulations, James! Finally. She liked the rose idea, yeah?"

"I told you she would," James said, although he had been uncertain of it until she had said yes. "Right, and thanks for yesterday, Moony. Even though it ended up being a disaster anyway."

"No problem," he said, handing James the Map across the table. "Lily wasn't too upset, was she?"

"We worked it out. How is Marley?"

"Hates you, but I think she's okay," Remus said with a grin.

"What are the chances I can talk her back onto the team?"

He shrugged. "She'll always have next year to be Captain, so I don't think she's missing out on much by sitting this year out. I don't think she ever wants to speak to you again."

"Shit. McGonagall is going to rip my eyes out."

"Hey, can someone help me with my Charms homework later? I'm stuck on a couple questions," Peter said. "I will do the next three Hogsmeade runs."

"Never," Sirius replied. "But you're still going to have to do the next three Hogsmeade runs, mate," he said with a canine grin.

"Sorry, Pete. Have prefect duties tonight. Maybe tomorrow night."

"Quidditch practice," James replied. "We've had that assignment for a week; why haven't you done it yet?"

Peter shrugged. "Forgot about it."

"Try and ask someone else for help, Wormy. Sorry."

He stuffed the rest of his breakfast in his mouth and stood to leave. "Got some things to do, lads. See you in class," he said, mouth full of toast.

He passed by Lily, who looked at him with narrowed eyes since he was still holding onto her books. He smiled and waved and left the Great Hall.

He went into the library, which was empty and began leafing through Lily's books. Once he was done—fifteen minutes before class—he packed them in his bag and made his way to Slughorn's classroom.

"Going somewhere, Potter?"

James stopped, interrupted by Mulciber and a couple of his other Slytherin thugs. He looked murderous.

"Class, actually. You know, where you sit down and write things on a piece of parchment? Presumably learn something? Familiar with the concept?"

Mulciber sneered. "You think you're so clever, with your pranks and insults. Grab him," he said to his goons.

James pulled out his wand. "Ah, ah. You may be stronger than me, but are you quicker?"

The two goons looked at Mulciber, who huffed in frustration. Suddenly, James' wand was pulled out of his hand without even Mulciber or his friends moving. None of them even had their wands out. Mulciber grinned.

"Snape, would you like to join us?" he said.

James turned around and saw Snape, twirling James' wand around in his bony, pale fingers. There was an almost smug expression on his face, masked with his usual glare. Fucking Snape.

"Snape, you don't want to do this," James said, wishing the damn oily bastard would just disappear already.

"Don't I, Potter?" he drawled. "Don't kill him, Mulciber. Or else we'll be smelling rotten lion for the next year," he said, handing the vengeful boy James' wand. James swore mentally. This was not good. The two other Slytherins—Gibbon and Rowle, he thought their names were—grabbed each of his arms and began to drag him into a large store closet.

"Snape!" James called, since there were no other students around. No one came to class this early when it was in the damn dungeons. "Snape, don't do this!" Snape just walked away without glancing back. Fuck.

The first punch was a wake up call. Gibbon shook out his hand as James struggled to stop seeing stars.

"Well, Potter. Since you thought it so amusing to tie to me a ceiling like a fucking puppet, I thought I'd just beat the shit out of you, Muggle-style. It's a warning even your Mudblood Bitch will understand to stay the fuck away from me. How does that sound?"

"A bit petty considering I wasn't even the one responsible," James said, bracing himself as Rowle made a fist. "Do you think I would be able to lift your enormous body all by myself?" Rowle socked him in the jaw and his teeth rattled. He spit out some blood and laughed. "Fuck, Mulciber. I knew you were fat enough, but I didn't realize you were dumb enough to pass as a troll, as well. I was in a meeting with McGonagall for two hours before anyone found you. If I'd had really done it, don't you think one of the professors would have found proof?"

Mulciber took his turn to punch him and James saw black for a long time. His glasses clattered off his face and his entire face was burning with immeasurable pain. Fuck.

"I know it was you, Potter. You're bloody Head Boy; none of the professors are going to punish you for this. Besides, why settle for detention when I can just beat you myself?"

"Fuck you," he said, spitting blood in Mulciber's face.

Another punch. He didn't know who it was this time. "How disfigured do you think I need to make your face to make sure the Mudblood never gets in my way again? You think I need to break your jaw? Your nose is already broken, but I don't think that's enough for her to lay off. Maybe I'll pay her a visit when she gets lonely trying to find you."

"Stay the fuck away from Evans."

"Or what, Potter? You'll dangle me from the window curtains next time?" The Slytherins laughed as James heard the rustling of students outside. Should he cry out for help? Would anyone hear him?

"I'll hang you from the Astronomy Tower with the rope around your neck, next time."

"Nice try, Potter," Mulciber said, grabbing the collar of James's robes and bringing him closer. "But you have to mean it, with actual malice. I'll _kill_ you, Potter. Like that."

"You'll have to buy me dinner first," James said, wincing as his lip split open after the next punch.

"Always a wise-ass. Finish it," Mulciber said to his thugs. "Remember Potter. You and the Mudblood stay the fuck away from me and this doesn't have to go any further. I may even let you live long enough to have little Mudblood babies with your bitch. But if you tell anyone what happened," Mulciber paused, making sure James was looking into his eyes, "I'll kill the little Mudblood bitch in front of your blood-traitor eyes." Mulciber left the closet as Rowle and Gibbon continued to beat James, adding kicks to the ribs when he was down on the ground. He passed out before they finished.

James woke up later, unaware of how long he'd been lying there in that closet. He was in the Full Body-Bind, courtesy of Rowle and Gibbon, and he could feel his wand lying on his chest. He could still taste the blood in his mouth and he swallowed, the blood from his nose passing through his throat. Everything hurt. He almost wished he would pass out again so that he wouldn't want to die of pain every time he breathed.

He wondered how much magical strength it would take to mentally break the Full Body-Bind Curse without even his wand in his hand. Shit, it was so close, lying on his chest, but he couldn't move a damn muscle.

No matter how difficult it was to breathe and how much blood was running from his face down his throat, he refused to die here, hidden away in a closet like a broken mop. He would not die here.

.

"Black, have you seen James?" Lily asked at lunch when James still hadn't appeared. At first, she had been pissed that he'd stolen her books and then didn't show up to class, but when he missed the next couple, she began to get worried.

"Dunno. Said he had stuff to do at breakfast," Sirius said, shrugging as he ate his sandwich.

"He skipped all his morning classes."

Sirius let out a smile. "You have much to learn, Evans, if you're going to go down this road with James."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, don't be the clingy type that needs to know where someone is all minutes of the day. Give the chap some space. He's not some sort of pet," Sirius said.

Lily wondered if Sirius knew the significance of that pet statement he just said and if James had told him about their little joke. She shrugged it off. He was probably just being a prick.

"He has all my books, arse."

"Oh, boo-who. Can't go one day without your books, Evans?"

"It's impossible trying to talk to you. Just tell him to find me when he resurfaces, can you do that?"

"Whatever, Evans," he drawled, giving her a grin full of meat and bread. She walked away, hoping Remus and Peter would be more help. She still had to have a conversation with Peter about some things. Would it be really, really bad if she asked one of them to use the Map to find James?

In the mean time, she went into James' room and took his books (which, of course, he didn't bother bringing to class) and trying not to worry about where he had gone, and why he needed her textbooks with him, wherever he was. It was hard being mad at him when she was so worried.

But why was she worried though? James was a completely capable wizard, and if he had gone off somewhere he shouldn't have, he would be completely fine. And then, when he got back and was actually just in the Prefect bathroom taking a really, inappropriately long bath, Lily could yell at him properly for kidnapping her books and skiving class all day. She could even dangle their date in front of him for it, and not even feel a bit guilty.

But unreliable James was not normal. Something was wrong.

"Hey, Remus," she said in Herbology. He was the only Marauder in her class. "Do you know where James has gone off to?" she asked.

"Haven't seen him all day. Why?"

"I haven't either. He stole my books and I don't know where, or how to find him," she said, hoping he would take the hint and check the Map.

He shrugged and acted as if he didn't know how to help her. "I can ask around, but I don't know. He's probably just goofing off somewhere."

"For an entire morning? I mean, I get that he might need to blow off steam, but it's the middle of the day…"

"I don't know what to tell you," he said apologetically. "If he doesn't show up by dinner, I'll help you look for him," he offered.

"All right," she said, disappointed that he didn't just whip out the Map right there and tell her where he was. She knew he had it last night, and probably still did. She wished she could ask him flat out, but she promised James. Ugh, James. Stupid, stupid James.

By dinner, he was still missing. Lily was getting desperate. She was even going so far to retrace his steps. Merlin, Sirius was right. She was being clingy. This had to stop. When James was ready to reappear, he would reappear.

Lily was leaving the dungeons when she heard whispering around the corner. She paused, taking her time to peek around and listen as hard as she could. She saw Mulciber, a couple of sixth year Slytherins and Snape. Sev's wand was pointed at the three other boys' hands and he seemed to be charming them. She caught a glimpse at the hands of the nearest Slytherin—Ralf? Row? Rol?—and saw that they were bloodied. Bloodied and swollen. And Sev was healing them. Why?

When they were done, they went their separate ways. Sev was coming towards her. She was getting a sinking feeling in her chest. She ducked into the nearest classroom, and when Sev passed by it, she pulled him inside and locked the door.

"Lil?"

"Don't call me that," she snapped at him. His eyes narrowed and she could see the firmness in his mouth. For once he wasn't groveling at her feet to forgive him. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or sad. Evidently, his new friends were treating him well; well enough to garner an official 'in' to their elite group of Muggle-haters.

"What were you doing?" she asked him.

"I don't answer to you," he responded, with much more sass than he had been since she ended their friendship.

"Do you know where James is?" she asked him.

"What? Why would I know where that scum Potter is—"

"Sev," she said seriously. He flinched at the tone of her voice. "I know there is nothing I can offer you that will be good enough to get you to tell me what you know. I can't be your friend because you're obsessed with—" she sighed, feeling exhausted. Sev looked torn.

"If you cared for me at all," she restarted, looking at the ground. "If our friendship meant anything at all to you—"

"You know it did, Lily! It does, still!"

"Good! Then if it does, you will tell me where James is. I promise not to turn you in or blame you for anything. Just, please, Sev. He's important to me. Just tell me where he is."

Sev looked angry and upset. "I don't know anything."

"Sev," she said, almost begging. "Did Mulciber do something to him? Please, if he's hurt—"

"I don't know, Lily."

She would not cry in front of Severus. She didn't even know why this was bothering her so much. James was probably already back in the Heads Wing, complaining about how she hadn't been able to stalk him properly. Shit, she was going to be a terrible girlfriend, if it ever came to that. Too clingy.

"Okay, fine."

"Lily—" Sev said. "If—if I did know, and I did tell you, would—would it fix things between us?" he asked as she was about to leave.

She let out a short, dry laugh. "No, Sev. I'm sorry, but there are much bigger things dividing us now. I heard your conversation with Regulus yesterday," she said. "You've officially decided to join them. And that means you have officially declared that you hate everything I love. So no. Not unless you whole-heartedly decide to come back to this side. That would be the only way we could ever fix things between us."

Sev's face was hard again and she wondered if she should have lied to him in order to get more information on James. No, she shouldn't have. She couldn't tell him they could be friends again when she knew she'd never be able to support his actions.

"Look inside your heart, Sev. I know you had one once. Is this really what you want to be doing? They're cowards, and the boy who once told me I was a witch was anything but that. He stood up to Petunia, for one, which is about as brave as it gets," she said without a smile. "Think about it." She closed the door behind her without looking back.

"Hey, Peter," she said, finding the small boy in the library, working through some Charms textbook. It was eight o'clock and James was still MIA. She was still raw about the Sev situation, but she had to focus on more important matters. Peter was her last chance. And if he couldn't help her find James, he was going to help her find out what the Marauders were up to on full moons. "What's up?"

"Doing the Charms assignment," he said, looking like he was going to start pulling hair from his head. "Sorry, I can't really chat."

"Oh, that's all right. I was just wondering if you knew where James was."

He shook his head. "Haven't seen him all day."

"I know," Lily said, getting extremely sick of that phrase. "So, Charms, yeah?"

"Yeah. Sorry, can't talk. Need to finish this."

"You know," Lily said. "I'm pretty good at Charms."

Peter's eyes widened. "I know that."

"And, I'm not doing anything right now."

"Are you offering to help me with Charms?" he asked.

"Maybe. If you can do me a really easy favor in return," she said with her most charming smile.

"What?" he asked, looking nervous.

"I happen to know," she said, dropping her voice and looking around for stragglers. She used Sev's _Muffliato_ charm just in case. "That James owns a certain device that comes in use when trying to find people in the castle," she whispered.

Peter's eyes widened further and he looked like a rodent frozen in fear. "How did you find out about that?"

"Don't worry, Peter. I'm not going to tell anyone. Actually, I think it's quite cool," she lied. "But the thing is, I was wondering if you could use it to help me find James. He has all my books, you see—"

"I can't, Lily. Marauders only."

She tried not to let her frown show on her face.

"Even if I help you with your Charms homework?" she said.

He seemed to contemplate it. "Do we have a deal?" he asked.

She smiled and held out her hand. "Deal."

After shaking it on it, she expected him to pull out the Map. "Unfortunately," Peter said with an unapologetic expression, "Remus gave the Map back to James this morning. He has it."

Lily was outraged. "Then why would you agree to the deal if you knew James had it?" she whispered, hissing her words as forcefully as she could without alerting the other people in the library.

"I really need help with my homework!" he said.

She groaned. "Pettigrew! I would have helped you even if you told me you didn't have the Map!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry, Lily," he said.

"Fine, you're going to have to help me with something else, then," she said.

Peter looked apprehensive. "What?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Tell me what you, James and Sirius do on the full moon with Remus."

Pete's watery blue eyes almost popped out of his head. Merlin, he had a terrible poker face. "What?"

"You heard me, Pettigrew."

"I don't know. We don't do anything."

"You don't know? Or you don't do anything?"

"Both," he said.

Lily smiled gently. "Look, Peter. I can help you. I promise I won't tell them you told me. And I swear on my father's grave that I won't tell another soul, even if it's potentially illegal. You can trust me. And, in addition to that, I will devote a couple hours every week to helping you study for whatever subject you need help with. How does that sound?"

"Like bribery," he said, crunching his nose.

Lily laughed. "You're right. But think of it more like reciprocal favors. Scratching one another's backs."

He narrowed his eyes. "How will knowing what we do during full moons help you? What do you plan on doing with such information?"

She smiled again. So they were doing something on full moons. "Concerned third party."

"I don't know, Lily. They would kill me if they found out I told you._ We could go to jail_," he whispered.

"I know," she answered. "Which is why I promised you I wouldn't tell anyone. Look, I know I've only recently become slightly more forgiving on your 'Maraudering', but you know that James and I are kind of, slightly, potentially together now right? Of all the ways I could ruin things between us, there are a million easier ways than getting him sent to Azkaban, don't you think? I just want to know what I'm getting myself into."

"You're going to break up with him if you don't like what I tell you?"

"No!" she said. Although if it was really bad—no. She wouldn't. "No, I really wouldn't. I just want to make sure everyone is okay. Come on, Pettigrew. Three hours a week? Any subject."

He considered it. "Even an out of school subject?"

She frowned. "Like what?"

"I want to learn how to duel. Well."

"Oh," she said, surprised. "Yeah, sure. I could help you with that. That's basically like Defense, no?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So, do we have a deal?" she asked, holding out her hand for the second time that night and sincerely hoping she wouldn't be disappointed again.

He wrinkled his nose. "I will think about it. But since you already agreed to help me with Charms, let's get that done first."

She frowned, but conceded. "Fine. After that, you're helping me find James."

"Fine," he said, nodding.

"Okay, so let's do some Charms!"

.

James could hear something in the room next door. He'd been hearing students all day, passing by, but class must have been over for hours now. It was probably near dinner, judging by how hungry he was. He had become so desperate, he was hoping his stomach sounds would be loud enough to alert someone to his presence. He wondered how often this closet was checked and if he'd actually be found before he died. Maybe the smell of decomposing flesh would actually prompt someone to open this bloody closet.

He heard a creak of the door and he thought he was imagining it. Then, there was a quick flash of light and his limbs were freed. Somehow, the counter-curse had been cast and James was free. He could hardly believe it. Maybe his innate magical ability had allowed him to free himself after all.

He grabbed his wand from his chest, then groaned and held back the tears as his ribs protested. His entire body was bruised and he could barely see without his glasses.

"_Accio glasses_," he said weakly, holding out his hand and hoping they would hit them. When he put them on, there was a crack in the right lens and the stem in the middle was bent badly, but it was enough to let him find his way out.

He checked his watch; 8:50. Shit. He'd been in there for more than twelve hours. He stuffed his hand in his pocket and found the Map. No wonder. He grabbed his bag filled with Lily's books—fuck, she was going to be pissed—and laboriously made his way to the Hospital Wing.

"Ah! What's happened to you? Mr. Potter?"

"I'm not sure, Madam Pomfrey," James said, letting the matron lead him to a bed. "I didn't see whoever it was that attacked me."

"When did this happen?" she asked, already beginning to charm his broken bones together and clean up the blood. He felt his bones tingle warm and cold as they mended together underneath the skin.

"Ah, a couple hours ago," he said, sniffing through his nose as she mended it.

"I will alert Professor McGonagall as soon as I'm done with you. This sort of behavior is not acceptable!"

James didn't protest as the nurse did her job, which took a while because of all his ribs and bruises. Fucking Mulciber. He was going to kill the bastard.

When McGonagall came around, he told her he was jumped in the middle of the dungeons and he didn't see who did it and they stuffed him in a closet. He woke up a couple hours later and came here.

"Detention, Mr. Potter."

"What? Why?" he asked. "I'm the one who got beaten up!"

She warned him with her steely eyes. "I suspect you are not telling me the entire truth in order to conceal some grander story and I do not appreciate being lied to. Your explanation also does not account for where you were all day instead of in your classes. Yes, I noticed, Potter. Let's make that five detentions for that. Once you are fit, Madam Pomfrey will inform me of the soonest date you will be able to endure manual labor. Sleep well, Mr. Potter. We will find the ones responsible with or without your help."

James swore under his breath and closed his eyes.

Pomfrey brought him some food after he told her he missed dinner because he was beaten up in a closet and she only frowned minutely before calling the house elves. While he was eating his dinner and Pomfrey was away in her quarters, he heard Sirius' voice from his robes.

"Hey," he said, pulling out the two-way mirror. There was still a considerable amount of blood on his face and bits were still puffy and red from Pomfrey's mending.

Sirius swore loudly and James had to cover the mirror to prevent Pomfrey from hearing.

"Mr. Potter! Language!" she yelled from her room.

"You've got to speak quieter, mate," James whispered.

"Sorry, you scared the shit out of me. Where are you?"

"Hospital Wing."

"What the fuck happened?"

"Mulciber and his sixth year apes beat me up and stuffed me in a closet for twelve hours. Full Body-Bind."

"Shit!" Sirius swore.

"Potter!" Pomfrey yelled.

"Sorry!" he yelled back. Sirius grimaced at him apologetically.

"Was Reg—"

"No, he wasn't there. It was Rowle and Gibbon."

"Bloody hell. Lily was right. Sorry, mate. She was worried about you, but I told her to not be so clingy. I thought you were just skiving class at Hogsmeade or something."

"I'm bloody Head Boy," James said. "I can't just skive an entire day of class!"

"Well, I was hoping you were just skiving class. Merlin. How the hell did you get out?"

"Don't know. I was just lying there, and then the door opened on its own and the curse was reversed."

"You think someone knew you were there and let you out?"

"Who, Mulciber? Unlikely." There was one other person however…yeah, right. Snape would never willingly help James. Hell would freeze over. Mulciber must have really hit James hard in the head in order for him to consider Snape as his saviour.

"Whatever, mate. Maybe the school is enchanted to help students in a bind. It doesn't want rotting corpses in its closets, and all that."

"Shut up."

"Sorry we didn't come looking for you, Prongs," Sirius said. "You have the Map."

"I know. It's all right. You never would have found me without the Map anyway. But you mentioned Lily. Is she angry?"

Sirius shrugged. "Spoke to her for less than a second. Mentioned something about you having her books."

"Shit. Can you do me a favor, Pad?"

"What?"

"Can you go and tell her what happened? Not all of it, just, you know, that I didn't steal her books and that I'll give them back tomorrow. Don't mention what happened, just make up some excuse."

Sirius frowned. "Now? It's past curfew."

"Bloody hell, Sirius. Are you kidding me right now?"

"Fine, fine. Where is she?"

James pulled out the Map. "Heads Wing. It's a clear shot if you run right now."

"Okay, fine. I'm going." James heard some rustling and the sound of an open door. "Hey, Pete. Here. Talk to James, I'm going to go talk to Lily." Sirius passed the mirror over to Peter and left the dorm.

Pete had the same reaction as Sirius, but this time James was prepared for it. He really should clean the blood off his face.

"Bloody hell," Pete said after James explained what happened.

"Yeah." James said, taking a bite of his dinner.

"Oh, I should tell you something, Prongs," Peter said.

"What?"

"Lily knows about the Map," Peter said.

James winced. "Yeah, I know. I showed it to her."

"What? Why?"

"Certain circumstances. It's not important. She found out about the Cloak when we pranked Reg, so it's not a far leap."

"Evidently it is. She offered to tutor me three hours a week in exchange for information."

"What kind of information?"

"Full moon information."

James groaned. He thought she'd given that up. "Merlin, this day has been so bad. It started off so well, too."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Call it off. Tell her you can't tell her anything."

"But I really need the help, Prongs. She's a really good tutor," he pleaded.

"Mr. Potter…" Pomfrey's voice said, coming out of her quarters.

"We'll talk about this later, Wormy. Got to go." He stuffed the mirror under his pillow and ate another mouthful of his dinner.

"Here's some water and a mirror to clean yourself off. You can leave in the morning."

"Thanks, Madam."

He cleaned the blood off his face, finished his dinner and put the mirror back in his robes. He saw Sirius talking with Lily on the Map and he hoped she wouldn't be so angry with him in the morning. He closed the Map and his eyes, thinking of how exactly he was going to deal with Mulciber.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry, lots of swearing in this one. I like to think that Sirius swears a lot, and more appearances of Sirius means more swearing. But, this fic is rated M for language, so hopefully a lot of you don't mind. There is also a lot of swearing in the chapters ahead, not necessarily from Sirius, so brace yourselves.**

**But, as promised, I posted this chapter quickly! Hope it was satisfactory. The chapters are getting longer, not substantially, but I hope that you don't mind reading through them. **

**I've already told you guys that I have a lot of chapters written, and the only reason I'm not posting them all at once is to make sure there are no continuity issues. Obviously with this many chapters, it can be difficult to keep track of the story lines and events, and I'm just trying to make sure they all make sense together. But so far, it's longer than any of my other stories/things I've written, so it's very exciting for me, haha. I'm hoping to end this story before September...let's cross our fingers.**

**Reviews make me happy, by the way, and more likely to post chapters faster. :)**

**Thanks for reading! **


	14. Chapter 14: Crime and Punishment

**14: Crime and Punishment**

Lily opened the door and Sirius pushed himself in before she could even greet him properly.

"What are you doing here, Black?" she asked as she closed the door behind him.

"Relaying a message. James resurfaced. Couldn't come find you though, like you asked. Told me to tell you that your books are safe and you'll get them back tomorrow. Night, Evans."

"Wait, hold on!" she said, grabbing his arm. "Where the hell was he? Where is he now?

Sirius sighed. "He got tied up running some errands. He can tell you the details once he gets out."

"Gets out of where? Prison?"

Sirius snorted. "No."

"Where, then?"

"I can't tell you," he answered, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

"Black, tell me now."

He frowned, then sighed. "Merlin, this is too much work. He's in the Hospital Wing."

"_What_? Why?"

"Why else, Evans? He was injured," he said, hand on the doorknob.

"Can you elaborate a little? Is he okay?"

"Yes, yes, he's fine," Black said, rolling his eyes. "Just a couple of scrapes and broken bones. He'll survive long enough for you to tear into him tomorrow, okay?"

"Sirius," she said, stopping him from leaving again. "He wasn't just skipping class, was he?"

Sirius exhaled in frustration and looked at the ceiling like he was asking the Heavens for help. At least he wasn't going for the door anymore. "Merlin, Evans. Do you want me to say it?"

"Say what?"

"You were right, okay? He wasn't skipping class."

"Where was he?"

He glared, but she didn't think his anger was directed at her. "I can't fucking tell you."

"James asked you not to?"

"Something like that."

"Okay, you can either tell me now and face whatever wrath James has in store for you tomorrow," she said, watching his expression. "Or, you can face my wrath right now and have James' gratitude tomorrow. Want to make a bet on who can get more angry, me or Potter?"

Sirius glared at her now. "How the hell does he deal with this every day? For fuck's sake. Mulciber and a couple sixth-year Slytherins beat him up and stuffed him in a closet. He was in the Full Body-Bind until someone released him, anonymously, about thirty minutes ago. Happy? You were right."

She didn't taken pleasure in hearing she was right, she was just glad James was okay, finally. "Merlin, was he in there since breakfast?"

"Twelve hours," Sirius said.

"The Slytherins. Were they Rowle and Gibbon?"

Sirius frowned. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"I saw them healing their hands earlier. With Mulciber. Their knuckles were all bloody and bruised."

Sirius swore. "Fucking Slytherins."

"He said he didn't see who released him?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, just that the door opened on its own and he was released. The schmuck probably thinks he did it himself. I'm betting on the castle's magical power, or something," Sirius said.

Lily knew better.

"How long does he have to stay in the Hospital Wing?"

Sirius shrugged. "Probably not long. Pomfrey's probably already healed his bones, so he'll probably be out in the morning."

"Right. Thanks for coming to tell me," she said, offering up a smile. He looked suspicious.

"Let me ask you a question, Evans."

"What?"

"You're not just doing this to prove me wrong, are you?" he asked her.

"Doing what?"

"James. Hogsmeade. Dating him."

"This has nothing to do with you, Black," she said, taken aback. "Why would I do that just to prove you wrong?" she asked, offended.

"Something that Remus said. He said you were a defensive person and that you strike back, especially when someone threatens you. I don't know, after that conversation we had, I just thought that maybe—"

"Bloody hell. I always knew you were a narcissist, but this is too far," she said angrily. "I would never pretend to like someone just to win some sort of _challenge_, this actually has _nothing_ to do with you, _at all_—"

"Okay, okay," Sirius said, putting his hands up in defense. "Just making sure, Evans. Bloody hell, do you have a short fuse. You better not hang him up to dry, that's all I'm saying. I warned you he came with strings attached. Night."

She glared at him as he left the room and she threw herself on the couch, her anger clouding the immense relief she felt now that she knew James was okay. Damn Sirius Black and his stupid accusations.

"I brought your leash, Potter," Lily said the next morning as she walked into the Hospital Wing. James was getting ready to leave.

"Lily," he said, smiling. "I'm so sorry about your books—"

Lily shut him up by wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing her cheek against his chest. "Shut up about the books, Potter. I'm just glad you're okay," she said, careful not to press too hard in case he was still a little sore.

"Sirius told you," James said, squeezing her back tightly. It felt nice. He laughed and she felt it go down to her toes.

"Yeah, I wasn't just going to let him leave after hearing my books were safe. Books are replaceable."

He pulled his head back with a surprised grin on his face. "Are you saying I'm irreplaceable, Evans?" he asked.

"Not before Hogsmeade," she said cheekily.

He laughed and kissed her forehead.

She let him go, but kept her arm around his waist as he put an arm around her shoulder. She grabbed his bag from the ground and began walking.

"Let me—"

"No offense, Potter, but I think I'll hold my own books from now on," she said.

He looked apologetic. "I'm really sorry—"

"Stop bloody apologizing. It's not your fault Mulciber is such a psychopath—"

"Lil, you can't tell anyone it was Mulciber, okay?"

"What? Why not? Didn't you already tell Pomfrey? Or one of the profs?"

"No."

"Why not?" she asked, outraged. "Him and the other two need to pay for what they did!"

"And they will. But not like this."

"James," she warned. "Retaliation is not going to do anything but bring more retaliation. Next time, you could end up dead. Please, just let the professors deal with this."

"I'm not—" he sighed, trying to look genuine, but Lily could see the storm brewing behind his hazel eyes. "I'm not going to retaliate. I just want to forget it ever happened. Telling someone is not going to help with that."

"But, they have to pay for what they did—"

"I told you, Evans. They will."

"You're not making any sense. Either you're lying about not retaliating or you're lying about them getting justice. You can't have both," she said.

He actually had the guile to smile at her. "You can if you're James Potter."

"And what would James Potter do?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug. "Not now, anyway."

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked.

"I'm going to shower, Lily. Don't say a word. I'll see you in class."

.

"Why did you tell Lily?" James said to Sirius when he saw him. "I told you not to tell her the details."

"She asked," Sirius said. "Why, what does that matter?"

"Because she wants to tell McGonagall!"

Sirius looked confused. "Didn't you already tell McGonagall when she came to talk to you?"

"No."

"Why not?" Sirius asked. "Those pricks deserve everything that's coming to them—"

"Exactly, but not like this! Telling McGonagall will just make things worse. I need to deal with this my own way."

Sirius looked conflicted. "Look, Prongs. You know I'm behind you no matter what you do, but I think the right move is to tell McGonagall. She'll make sure they get punished. You were in there for twelve hours. You could have died, Merlin forbid. That merits something worse than a couple detentions."

"I'm with Sirius on this one," Remus said solemnly.

"Me too," Pete inputted.

Before James could respond, Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat. The Hall became quiet.

"Last night, one of our students was brutally attacked by a couple students in the dungeons. That student is now fully recovered thankfully, however, that does not end the severity of the situation."

Everyone in the room went quiet and James wondered if anyone could tell it was him.

"Any sort of violence is not tolerated at Hogwarts, especially when accompanied with such malice as was exhibited last night. If any student should have any information regarding the attack, he or she is required to inform their Head of House immediately. I repeat. Violence is _not_—" everyone held their breath, "—tolerated at Hogwarts."

It took a moment for everyone to recover, but eventually breakfast was filled with whispers and speculation about what had transpired. Sirius was giving him a pointed look.

"See? Dumbledore's not messing around. Just tell him what happened," Sirius said.

"I thought you believed that the justice system at Hogwarts is a bit flawed considering the most recent run-ins with the Death Eaters—"

"Normally, I do. But this is different, James. He tried to kill you."

"It's not going to fix anything, even if I did. Half of the Slytherins will still want me dead and sending Mulciber home for a few weeks is not going to fix that issue."

"And pranking them is going to teach them a lesson?" Remus asked skeptically.

"I never said I wanted to prank any of them," James responded, wishing they would just do as he said for once.

"Why don't you just tell us—"

"If any of you say a word," James said, looking his three friends in the eye. "I will see to it that you never have a peaceful night again." He stood from the table and stormed out of the room.

.

"Do you know anything about this, Lily?" Alice asked her as she watched James angrily leave the Great Hall. She made eye contact with Sirius, who shook his head discreetly. Shit.

"No. No idea what he's talking about," she said.

"Hm. What's up with James?" Mary asked. Damn, MacDonald noticed everything.

"Don't know. He woke up like that," she said, hoping Mary wouldn't see through that one as well. What was she going to do? Merlin, save her.

She'd never seen James act like this. She knew he probably had a bruised ego along with a bruised face, but she'd never seen him not do the right thing in such a serious situation. If it had been her, he would have been the first one to Dumbledore's office. She needed to have a word with the Marauders.

"I'll be back, okay?" she said to them. She sat down where James had just been sitting.

"What is wrong with him?" she asked them.

"He wants revenge," Sirius said.

"He told me he wasn't going to prank them."

"That's what he told us as well," Peter supplied.

Sirius laughed sharply. "Someone tries to kill him and you think he's going to respond with blue hair and overgrown toe nails? Grow up. He doesn't want to _prank_ them. He wants them to _pay_."

"I'm going to tell Dumbledore what happened," she said.

"Hold off for now, Evans," Sirius said.

"Why? You heard him. Violence is not tolerated—"

"I heard what he said. But _betrayal_ is not tolerated amongst James' friends. You never give up another Marauder, no matter the consequence. Tell Dumbledore without getting James on your side and you're done. Understand?"

She didn't let the hurt or surprise show on her face. "What do we do?"

"Just keep your mouth shut for now," Sirius said. "We'll handle it. We'll get him to tell Dumbledore himself. Promise."

She looked at Remus, who half-shrugged, and Peter, who just gave her a fragile smile. "Do it quickly. He looked like he was going to kill someone."

"You're closer than you think, Evans."

Lily pretended not to hear him.

James came to class, but he was barely focusing. From what Lily could tell, he was too busy thinking about revenge. She wanted to trust Sirius, but it didn't look like he was doing anything to expedite the process of getting James to admit what happened. It was all so damn tense. She swore McGonagall was giving her significant looks all throughout class, and it took all she had not to erupt and tell her what happened right there in the middle of her lecture.

"Any news?" she asked Sirius as soon as she could get him alone.

"No."

"Sirius, please. I don't know how much longer I can not say anything."

He rolled his eyes. "Evans, just pretend like you don't know anything. If you don't know, you can't talk, right? Simple."

"Are you bloody kidding me? Tell me what he's going to do if I don't say anything. Beat the living pulp out of Mulciber? And then get expelled?"

"That's not going to happen, so just drop it, okay?"

She groaned in frustration as Sirius walked away from her.

.

"Frank, are you okay?" Lily asked the nervous looking boyfriend. "You look a bit pale."

"Perfectly fine, Lily. Thanks for asking," he said with a weak smile. She smiled back.

Alice continued to talk to Lily about what Professor Sprout was saying in Herbology yesterday, but Lily was too distracted with James' brooding expression to listen to her friend talk about how wonderful the plant was that almost took her finger off in class.

He wasn't eating and his expression hadn't changed from that morning, and from her vantage point, it looked like he was glaring holes into Mulciber's forehead.

"_Ahem_, attention everyone!" Frank said, his voice magnified by his wand as he stood up onto the bench. Alice, Mary and Lily all turned to him in surprise. "I have an announcement to make! As some of you may know—"

"Mr. Longbottom! Get down from there right now!" McGonagall shouted.

Frank ignored the Professor, which had students gasping. Instead, he continued with his speech. He had about ten seconds until McGonagall reached him—

"Some of you may know that I've been dating Alice Fortescue, for about six and a half months—" McGongall's footsteps were getting quicker and Lily had an enormous smile on her face, "—and I just wanted to let everyone know: I love you, Alice Fortescue!" he shouted, looking down at Alice, whose face was pure red. "And I intend to marry you once we graduate—"

"Mr. Longbottom! This is no place for such announcements!" McGonagall protested. Lily thought she saw a tinge of pink in her Professor's cheeks, but it was probably just a trick of the light.

"I'm sorry, Professor!" he said, his voice still on magnify. "But I couldn't help myself. It needed to be said!"

Students were snickering throughout the Hall and Lily was torn into giggles. Mary was nodding approvingly while Alice looked mortified. Lily couldn't tell if she was happy or upset.

McGonagall was leading the normal-toned Frank out of the Great Hall as the rest of the students talked about what happened.

"Alice? Are you all right?" Lily probed, trying to keep a straight face.

"Woo!" said Mary, fanning herself. "That was just what I needed to get rid of all this tension surrounding the school right now. All that _'violence will not be tolerated_' debacle had me on edge. Frank Longbottom, that awkwardly wonderful man. Alice Longbottom! Has a certain charm to it!"

Alice still hadn't moved, her hands on her cheeks, her mouth open in a small '_o_'.

"Alice?"

Alice cleared her throat. "Um, was that a proposal?" she asked in her small voice.

"I think that was more a heads-up than an actual proposal—"

"Listen, Fortescue. You don't say yes until you see a ring, okay?"

"Mary," Lily said, laughing.

"Seriously, Alice. He needs to put a ring on your finger before you make any promises, you hear me?"

"Congratulations, Alice," James said, appearing behind her. He gave Lily a look. At least he looked less murderous. "Lily, can I have a word?" he said. She nodded and he walked away, presumably to wait outside.

"_Ooooo_, Lily! Think you're getting one next?" Mary teased.

"Shut up, MacDonald. Just make sure she's all right, okay? Plenty of water and such. Don't let her faint."

"Got it covered. Remember, Evans! No _ding-ding_ without the ring-ring!"

Lily glared at her friend before following James out of the Hall.

"What's up?" she asked him. He was looking at the floor.

"You haven't told anyone, right?"

"No," she said, crossing her arms over my chest. "Don't you think someone would have come for you if I had?"

"Okay. Just making sure."

"That's it? That's all you've got to say?"

"What were you expecting?" he asked.

"An explanation? Why you're not telling Dumbledore immediately?" she asked, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

"I told you I was going to deal with it," he said.

She scowled at him. "Which means what? Look, James, I trust that you're not going to do anything stupid. But can you please just tell me _what_ exactly you're going to do? I'm worried about you."

"Nothing. Literally nothing," he said, eyes narrowed.

"Why? Just tell someone!"

"No! I just want to forget it happened."

"James, you heard what Dumbledore said, violence is not tolerated—"

"At Hogwarts, I know! But that doesn't matter, okay, Lily? Please, just let me handle this," he said, glaring at her.

Damn, she didn't know what to do.

"Whatever you're planning, please don't do it. The last time with the puppet strings, that was just an innocent prank. If you stoop to his level—"

"Evans, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not planning anything!"

But she could see it behind his eyes, something there. It hurt her that he would lie straight to her face, but it was worse that he was actually considering getting back at them when all he had to do was tell Dumbledore.

"If you stoop down to his level," she continued, ignoring his frustrated groan, "what's the difference between you and him?" she said, frustrated that he wouldn't listen. Couldn't he see this was wrong?

"Please, tell me what you think would happen if I did turn him in," he said, scowling angrily at her. James hadn't looked at her like that in so long, it was a bit unnerving.

"Well, that kind of act is grounds for expulsion—"

James scoffed. "Mulciber's father works for the Ministry! Even if Dumbledore expelled him—which I doubt he would—it wouldn't last long. Or even better, Mulciber will be hired by the Ministry without even graduating from Hogwarts!"

"You'll never know until you say something."

James glared. "You're not going to change my mind about this, Lily."

"Fine," she said. "Do what you want. The hell if I care."

"Lily—"

She walked away, hating herself for leaving and hating that he didn't try harder to stop her.

Lily didn't remember seeing Dumbledore at dinner, so she went to his office, hoping he'd be there. She said the password and was let up, which she assumed meant that he was home.

"Enter," he said when she knocked.

"Professor," she said, taking a seat in front of his desk.

"Ms. Evans," he said, waiting. He knew why she was here.

"I have some information about the attack."

"Yes," he said, waiting for her to continue.

"I believe it was Mulciber, Rowle and Gibbon, Sir," she said.

"You know what they've done?"

"Yes, Sir. They attacked James Potter before the morning classes yesterday and put him in a Full Body-Bind Curse, then left him in a closet. He was finally released around nine P.M. last night," she said.

"I was told it happened after dinner," Dumbledore said.

She shook her head. "That was a lie, Sir."

"And how did you come across this information?"

"James Potter."

"He told you directly?"

"No, Sir."

"Who told you?"

She looked up. "I'd rather not disclose that. But it was confirmed by James Potter afterward."

"Why would he lie about what happened?" he asked her.

Lily looked back to the ground. Should she tell him? He could get in serious trouble. But he hadn't done anything yet, and the sooner she warned Dumbledore, the sooner he'd be free from the temptation to. And that was what was most important, right?

"I'm afraid he wanted to give his own punishment, Sir. Please, he hasn't done anything yet, and I don't think he would actually do anything to seriously injure Mulciber—"

"Ms. Evans, stop. I will give Mr. Potter the benefit of the doubt. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. The appropriate action will be carried out."

"Will James get into trouble?"

"I'm afraid that is up to Professor McGonagall. I believe he already has five detentions to serve; I doubt it will be more severe than that," he said. "You are free to go."

Lily left the office, feeling guilty, but knowing she'd done the right thing. She lost one person she cared about to dark impulses; she wasn't going to lose another one, even if he ended up hating her for it. It was karma, she guessed. Hate someone, someone else will hate you.

Lily hid in her room for the rest of the night. She heard James come back around nine and she wondered if she had the guts to go outside and face him.

Of course she did. She was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake.

"I asked you not to say anything," James said when she stepped into the Common Room.

"What happened?" she asked.

He glared at her. "They got suspended."

"What? That's it?"

"I _told_ you, Evans—"

"I did it so you wouldn't do anything stupid!"

"Evans, you have no idea what you just started!"

"What do you mean? I just ended it!"

"No, no, you did much worse than that!"

"Explain!" she yelled at him. "If I hadn't, you would have gone and done something worse—!"

"If I wanted to get back at him, don't you think I would have done that already?" he yelled at her. "This is much more than just getting back at him! It's about protecting _you_!"

The words froze in Lily's mouth.

"You may not believe it, but I am an extremely patient person, Lily," he said, lowering his voice. "I can wait and remain dormant for as long as I need to. Mulciber said that if we didn't stay away from him, he'd come after you. The reason I didn't want him to get _expelled_, or better yet—_suspended_, is because if he did, he'd know I talked and then he'd retaliate—against you—even more! Do you see how that works?" he said, his anger growing.

"So, what did you intend to do?" Lily asked, faltering slightly in her confidence.

"I told you I was patient, Lily. Patient enough to wait out the rest of the year for Mulciber to get comfortable, and once he gets out into the real world where I'll be able to give him exactly what he deserves—" He pulled on his hair. "Fuck. You should have just trusted me, Lily."

"He still couldn't get away with what he did—"

"And look at what that got him! A _suspension_! Do you think he's going to 'learn a lesson' taking a week-long vacation at home, or would it have been more satisfying to wait it out, and then put him away in Azkaban for the rest of his life, _when the time was right_?"

Lily was shocked into silence. She wasn't sure what to say. She knew what she'd done was the right thing, but James' reasoning was so much more convincing…

"You should have told me what you were planning," she said, quietly.

He laughed bitterly. "Bloody hell, Lily. I told you to let me handle it—"

"I don't need you to _handle_ things, James! I'm fully capably of defending myself!"

He stared at her, his eyebrows angled in toward his nose. "I wasn't just doing it for you. Yes, you were one of the reasons, but he also beat _me_ up. And used an Unforgivable on Mary. Scum like that are predisposed to get away with the shit he does, without ever having to pay for it."

"Sirius told me you were close to killing someone—"

"Sirius _lies_! He sees things in black and white, and he usually doesn't think past the next mealtime. Are you telling me you trust Sirius more than me, now?"

"He seemed to be more in control of himself than you did!"

"Whatever, Evans," he said, retiring to his room with a beaten expression. He pulled on his hair again and he was no longer yelling. "I—I don't know if I can handle living together anymore," he said, disappearing into his room and reemerging with a bag. He left without looking back at her.

Shit. Lily sat on the couch, feeling empty. She had a sinking feeling that told her she just ruined the best thing that ever happened to her.

.

"I told you, Evans. I told you not to say anything," Sirius said to her while they were waiting outside the classroom for Professor Slughorn to arrive. It had been a week since James had moved out of the Heads Wing and Lily was bloody miserable. He would barely speak to her anymore and she felt like she lost Sev, her father and James all in one week. It was hell.

"If you're here just to rub it in, Black—"

"You could have waited, just one day—"

"You said he was close to killing someone! I panicked! James is not a murderer!"

"You _inferred_, Evans. Do you think I'd actually let Potter murder someone? If anyone's capable of murder, it's me, not the doe-eyed nerd over there," he said, shooting his head in James' direction.

"You're a fucking prick—"

"Easy, Morgana. I'm trying to help you," he said.

"Help me, how?"

"Just apologize to him and use your most disgustingly love-y language, and he'll come running back. He's miserable too, and making me miserable just being around him. Living with him is a fucking nightmare."

"Piss off, Black."

"You two are a match made in miserable Heaven. Bloody hell."

Black left her alone to deal with her own problems. She wished she could do as he said, but she was much too proud to do that. The more she ruminated, the more she resolved in her decision. What she did was the right thing. She didn't need James, or anyone, doing stupid things like letting the bad guys get away, just so she could be 'protected', for Merlin's sake. She wasn't a princess that needed rescuing.

What was making her mood worse was that she finally discovered what James had been doing with her books. When she flipped open a page in her Transfiguration textbook and began to read, the words on the page transformed into a short message from James. He told her to keep up the good work, that he thought she looked lovely today, with a countdown to Hogsmeade at the bottom. And then the page would return to normal and if was as if nothing had happened. She almost thought she dreamed it, but every day after that, she found a new one in a different textbook on a different page, and it was more depressing than rain on her birthday. The countdown was a constant reminder that she had lost something irreplaceable.

The rotten cherry on top of her rotten week was that Mulciber, Rowle and Gibbon were coming back today. Her confidence in her decision had shaken slightly when she realized what a terrible punishment that had been. She even heard a rumor that Mulciber's parents took him abroad for some sort of celebration, or something. If he came back to school tanned, she was going to explode.

"Lily? You okay?" Alice asked.

"No," she said.

"Want to talk about it?" she offered.

"Maybe later," she said.

Slughorn finally arrived, fifteen minutes late. As Lily passed the door, he gave her a friendly reminder that she was serving her final detention tonight for stunning Mulciber in the middle of the Great Hall. She missed That Lily and how happy she had been.

She spent the rest of the day with a headache that pulsed with pain whenever someone spoke to her. It would get worst when she remembered that Hogsmeade was this weekend and she was dateless.

Lily served her final detention lazily, only doing her job to the absolute minimum. Slughorn never bothered to check her work anyway, so she had no incentive to do it properly, especially since she could barely see straight. She just couldn't wait until she could sleep in her bed and not have to think about this weekend or stupid, bloody idiotic Slytherins and Head Boys.

Slughorn bid her goodnight and she made her way back up to the Heads Wing. She was so tired, she didn't notice the two black figures stopped in front of her with their wands pointed at her chest.

"_Now_!" one of them yelled.

Lily didn't have her wand and had no way of defending herself. Two red streams of light came shooting out of the ends of their wands and hit her square in the chest. She fell onto the floor, unconscious.

She dreamed someone was carrying her, yelling her name and telling her it was all going to be okay.

.

James sat beside Lily's bed, holding her hand and praying she'd wake up soon. Pomfrey said she was just sleeping it off and not to wake her. Two Stunning Charms in the chest was enough to make the strongest witch or wizard bedridden for a couple days, and by the way Lily had been looking the past week, she hadn't been the strongest witch when the Stunners hit her.

He got there just as Rowle and Gibbon sent the spells. He was so furious, he didn't even know what curses he sent their way until McGonagall brought them in on stretchers later that night. There were a variety of curses and hexes there; James may have even made up a few on the spot. Surprisingly, she only gave him two more detentions on top of the original five he had been serving. Pomfrey gave him a stern look, but he thought he may have even seen a small smile hidden beneath it.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked, her eyes open and awake. He let go of her hand before she could notice it was there, but it was too late. She looked down at it, then back up at him. She looked much more alert than he thought she would be after being stunned.

"Lily! You're up!"

"What are you doing here?" she repeated.

"I'll go get Pomfrey. Hold on." James got the matron and stood awkwardly to the side as Pomfrey checked Lily's vitals. He waited while she used the restroom, feeling his breath come easy for the first time in days. Even though his heart wouldn't stop beating like a bloody rogue bludger. It was bloody annoying.

"You can stay for another ten minutes, Mr. Potter. Then Ms. Evans needs rest," she said, leaving the room.

"You never answered my question," she said, keeping her green eyes trained on him.

"I was just making sure you were all right. I'll leave now so you can sleep."

"You were the one who found me, weren't you?" she asked.

"Yeah. I saw Rowle and Gibbon on the Map and I ran over."

"Lucky you happened to be looking at the Map when it happened," she said.

"Yeah, lucky." They both knew he hadn't 'just been looking' at the Map, but neither of them acknowledged it.

They fell silent, both of them wondering what to say next.

"I should go—"

"No, please stay," Lily said, looking at him with those eyes again. It was amazing how so little time without looking at her properly made him forget how she made him feel. He didn't think he could ever forget that feeling, but he had.

"Okay," he said, sitting back down.

"Thanks for carrying me here. Again."

He cracked a smile. "They should put it in my job description."

"No one would want the job."

James shrugged. "It's not so bad," he said. She smiled in response.

"What happened to them?" she asked.

"They got expelled yesterday. Dumbledore was furious."

"Yesterday?" she asked, her eyes widening. "How long have I been out?"

"34 hours."

"What time is it now? On what day?"

"Seven in the morning. Friday."

"What are you doing here so early?" she asked, scandalized.

He shrugged. "Pomfrey let me stay."

"Stay? How long have you been here?"

James smelled his shirt. "Twelve hours?"

"Potter!" she yelled, blushing. "Why the hell have you been here for twelve hours?! Did you sleep here? Are you _mad_? Pomfrey let you stay? That's unheard of!"

"Woah, relax!" he said, laughing lightly. His voice cracked strangely because he hadn't laughed in days. "It's not like you talk in your sleep, or anything."

"That is the creepiest thing you've ever said to me," she said in reply.

"Shut up, Evans, I saved your life," he joked.

She rolled her eyes. "I was stunned, not cut in half with a saw."

"Still pretty fucking terrible, if you ask me."

"Go sleep, James. You look like a ghost."

"You asked me to stay!"

"That was before I knew you slept here!"

"I'll stay until Pomfrey kicks me out," he said, shrugging.

"I'm sorry," Lily said after another awkward pause. "You were right. I shouldn't have said anything to Dumbledore until I had all the details. I should have just trusted you."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have told you what was happening. And I shouldn't have walked out on you like that after arguing. That was stupid. And besides, telling Dumbledore about them attacking you got them expelled. At least now they won't be able to cause more trouble at Hogwarts."

"But you should know, James, I'm not interested in having a knight in shining armor. I'm grateful for what you did, but still. I don't want you to not do the right thing just so you can protect me, okay? I don't want that. It's too much burden on me."

"Right, okay. I get it. Next time I see someone attacking you, I'll just walk away."

"That's not what I meant," she said, weakly.

"I know, I'm sorry. I know what you meant. You just need to remind me every so often," he said.

"We were both being idiots," she said.

"Yes, basically," he agreed, remembering how scared he had been that something terrible was going to happen to her because of how he acted. Damn Slytherins. Sometimes his brain just refused to work properly. It was endlessly frustrating.

"I got your messages in my textbooks," she said with a smile.

"Oh," James said, almost forgetting that he had done that. He felt embarrassed now.

"You know, if it weren't for that annoying countdown reminding me I no longer had a date, it would have actually been quite nice."

"Ah," he said with a smile. "Your date was being sort of a prick, wasn't he?"

She shrugged. "A little."

"I can beat him up for you, if you'd like."

She frowned. "I told you I didn't need to be protected."

"You'll beat him up then?"

"Still haven't decided," she answered.

"Well, I heard that he's sorry. And he made a mistake."

"Does that mean we can be friends again?" she asked, tentatively.

"Friends?" he asked, wondering if that meant she no longer wanted to date him. He didn't think he could do that.

She smiled. "You said today is Friday, right? Have any plans for tomorrow?" she asked.

He pretended to think. "Well my previous date threatened to beat me up for walking out on her, so I'm not sure if it's such a good idea to make plans with someone else," he said, smiling at her rolling eyes.

"Well, I happen to know that your previous date doesn't mind at all and that she's forgiven all your transgressions," Lily replied, matter-of-factly. "She's sorry too, in fact."

"Well, that's convenient. What did you have in mind then, Lily?" he asked with a grin.

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me, Potter?" she asked. "Sorry I don't have a rose."

"It's a date," he said, grinning.

"Mr. Potter, it's time for you to leave now," Madam Pomfrey said, coming back into the room.

"I'll see you after dinner," he said, smiling.

"When can I leave, Madam Pomfrey?" Lily asked.

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips. "After dinner."

"Wonderful," James said, walking out of the Hospital Wing.

"You're very fortunate, Ms. Evans. We almost sent you to St. Mungo's to be treated, but you began to stabilize."

"But I was only stunned!"

"Two strong Stunners to the chest is very serious business! Four is enough to kill someone," Pomfrey explained. "You _did_ sleep for almost a day and a half."

Lily wondered if that was the reason why James stayed for so long.

"Did he really stay here for twelve hours?" she asked the matron.

Madam Pomfrey made a face. "No, Ms. Evans. He stayed here almost the entire time you were being treated. I couldn't get him to leave. He only left your side to eat, shower, and go to class."

"I beg your pardon?" Lily asked, barely able to hear her own voice.

Madam Pomfrey smiled slightly. "Oh, don't look so surprised, Ms. Evans. I have a soul, too. Mr. Potter seems to be very keen on you. I wasn't going to kick the poor boy out. He insisted that if he didn't stay here, he was going to attack those Slytherin boys again, and that it would be wise to let him stay instead of gaining another two patients."

"Again? What did he do to them the first time?"

Pomfrey's disapproval didn't look as disapproving as it normally did. "They were barely recognizable with all the hexes and curses put upon them. Nothing dangerous or particularly harmful, but it took a couple hours to get them straightened out."

"What about Mulciber?" she asked, unable to stop herself.

"What about Mr. Mulciber?" Pomfrey asked, frowning.

"James didn't hex him, did he?"

"Why would Mr. Potter do that? No, of course not. Mr. Mulciber was not there," she said.

That made her feel less safe than assured.

.

"Prongs, we need to talk about Lily," Peter said in class. James' eyes were burning after hardly getting any sleep in that uncomfortable Hospital Wing chair. He could have Transfigured it into an armchair, but he didn't want to risk falling asleep in case anything happened. Damn, his back hurt.

"What about her?" he asked Pettigrew.

"Remember last week when I told you about her wanting information in exchange for tutoring?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, can I tell her something?" Peter said.

James turned to his friend incredulously. "Seriously, Wormy? You want to tell Evans our greatest secret ever just so you can get extra help on your homework?" he hissed at him.

Peter looked contrite. "I'm sorry, but yes! She said she wouldn't tell, and beside, you two are back together now, right? She's not going to give you up—"

"Don't you remember the reason we got in a fight in the first place? Because she thought I was going to do something illegal!"

"Yes, but also because you two didn't communicate. There was no trust, Prongs! If you had just told her what you were planning in the beginning, none of this would have happened, would it?" Peter said, making an absurd amount of sense. "Trust your woman!"

James was dumbstruck.

"Bloody hell. You really want those extra tutoring hours, huh?"

"She offered and I'm not one to turn down free tutoring."

"Not free. She's bribing you."

"Whatever," Peter said. "So, is that a yes?"

"I'll think it over. Maybe. I'll try and figure out what her game is later. But right now, I need to take a nap. Take notes, will you?" James said, putting his head on the table as Binns continued to drone on about Goblin wars. So many damn Goblin wars. He swore they talked about this every year.

"Okay, but decide before McGonagall's next exam! Unless you want to help me!"

James raised a hand in understanding before falling asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: I needed some sort of argument between Lily and James, but I didn't want to be over some petty thing like he was late to something or Lily was just having a bad day. But anyway, I needed at least one, so there it is. I can't guarantee that Lily and James won't fight over something in the future, but I'd like to think that James and Lily are more mature than that. I mean, they did get married at 18...**

**Also, welcome new followers! Thanks for reading and hope you like it. Don't be shy, say hello! **

**Next chapter is the date! Sorry for making you wait so long. Leave a review! Reviews prompt me to post faster, by the way.**


	15. Chapter 15: The Person You're With

**15: The Person You're With**

James grinned at her as he walked into the Hospital Wing. He was feeling considerably better after taking naps throughout the day in his various classes, and when he eventually realized he was actually going on a date with Lily. Finally, after years of asking, it only required one beating, multiple arguments, two Stunners to Lily's chest, three suspensions, and two expulsions, for their date to happen. Damn.

"You're a liar," Lily said before he could even say hello.

"Sorry?" he said. "Lied about what?"

"You were here for more than twelve hours."

Damn Pomfrey. "Well, technically, it had been twelve hours since the last time I had left the Hospital Wing—"

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or immensely worried that you stayed here that entire time," she said, already walking out of the Hospital Wing after saying goodbye and thank you to Madam Pomfrey, who just gave him a mischievous smile.

"Flattered," he answered for her. Merlin, it was so easy for them to return to their normal behavior, James couldn't help but smiling. This was so bloody natural.

"Well, in any case, I'm going to sleep in Gryffindor Tower tonight," she said. "I need to catch up with Mary and Alice, and I think you should take a break from me until tomorrow. You shouldn't have come to pick me up. Merlin, how can you even stand the sight of me right now?" she asked.

"What are you worried about? That I'll get sick of you?" he said with a smile.

She scowled. "I don't know, maybe."

"Nonsense."

She sighed. "I think you have this ridiculous, ethereal idea of me in your head," she said. "I'm afraid I'm not as interesting as you might think I am, and soon, that pedestal you have me up on is going to break and then there'll be nothing," she said.

"That's exactly where you're wrong," he said with a grin. "You use the word 'ethereal', for one. I barely know what that means."

She rolled her eyes. "You know what it means."

"Yes, but still. You're an interesting person, Evans, and I'll never be sick of you. I promise."

She looked doubtful, and all he really wanted to do was kiss her, but he hardly thought that was appropriate right now, walking down a hallway.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said, frowning.

He grinned. "I never get sick of looking at you, Evans."

She scowled. "I hate you."

He laughed. "I hate you, too."

"Says the boy who slept in a chair for 34 hours," she said, finally cracking a smile. Ha! Success!

"I happen to enjoy the smell of Hospitals. It helps me sleep."

"Sure, stalker," she said.

"Pomfrey-approved stalker."

"Oh, pardon me. That makes it much more appropriate."

"It does, actually."

She laughed and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Is it always going to be like this? Good, and then we fight and break up?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. I don't mind, as long as we eventually make up in the end. Do you?"

"I don't like fighting with you," she said.

"Well, that's news to me."

She hit him in the gut and he laughed. "I don't," she said, smiling.

"Neither do I, but we're just so damn good at it."

"We should get good at something else," she said.

James had an idea, but he wasn't exactly going to say that out loud.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," she said.

"I didn't say anything!" he said, laughing.

"I saw it on your face, you lecherous animal," she said, trying to hide her smile, but failing.

"See? You also use words like lecherous."

"Stop changing the subject," she said.

"You were the one who suggested getting good at something else, not me," he said.

"My point is that we should stop fighting. That's all I was trying to say."

"I agree, Evans. But what are we going to do with all that time we aren't fighting?" he said with his lecherous grin.

She laughed and pushed him aside. "See you tomorrow, Potter."

"Meet in the Entrance Hall at eleven?"

"Don't be late," she said, giving the Fat Lady the password and disappearing behind the portrait.

He stood there, feeling entirely content.

"Your staring is a bit rude, Potter," the Fat Lady said, with blush on her cheeks and a suggestive smile.

"Oh, sorry," he said, coming out of his daze. "I was looking past—through—never mind. Goodnight," he said, getting out of there as quick as he could.

.

Lily took a couple steadying breaths on the staircase before going up to her old dorm. Nerves, exhaustion and James were making her breaths come up short and she struggled to get a hold of herself. She could do this! There was no need to be nervous. Their date would go smoothly and nothing terrible would happen. Like James said, they could find other things to do instead of fighting. That could be fun.

"Lily!" Mary said, jumping up from her bed and attacking her with a hug as soon as she walked through the door. "Why didn't you tell us you were being released? We could have come to collect you!"

"James said he was coming to get me," Lily said, returning the hug whole-heartedly and giving one to Alice as well. Their other two roommates, Sybil and Krista, were down in the Common Room.

"We're so glad you're okay," Alice said. "We were so scared when Madam Pomfrey said you might need to go to St. Mungo's," Alice said. "I hate that place."

"I know, I'm sorry for worrying you. But how are you two? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"That's because you were in a coma for two days," Mary said.

"It wasn't a coma. And it was only a day and a half," Lily said.

"We're fine, Lily," Alice said with a smile.

"Actually, I'm miserable. I don't even have a date for Hogsmeade tomorrow. And as my friends, you two are responsible for setting me up with someone for next Hogsmeade. I shouldn't even have to tell you this, you should have already offered someone up to me so I wouldn't be in this terrible mood," Mary said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lily laughed. "Come on, Mary. No one asked you?"

"Of course people asked me," she said, rolling her eyes. "But I turned them down."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Not handsome enough."

This time Lily rolled her eyes. "And who would you consider handsome enough? Just so I know."

"Sirius Black," she said immediately. "Oh, and James, of course, but he's already taken. Don't worry, Lil, I'm not moving in on your territory," she winked, as Lily rolled her eyes. "Remus can pass, if he sleeps a bit more and irons his clothes. Not Pettigrew. Um, Amos Diggory. Possibly Davies, but he needs to cut his hair. Ooo, and what's that Slytherin's name? That dark, mysterious one—"

"Who, Dolohov?" Alice said.

"That's the one!"

"He's a potential Death Eater, Mary!" Lily said, horror-stricken.

"Hey, you just asked me who I considered handsome, and Dolohov fits the bill."

"I'm going to ignore that," Lily said. "And I would never set you up with Sirius Black," Lily said.

"Why not?" Mary whined. "He's the first on my list."

Lily made a sour face. "He's such a jerk. Narcissist. Arse."

"And also fucking suave. What is your point? Besides, you're dating his best friend, they are basically the same," Mary said. Alice made a face of agreement.

"They are not the same," Lily said. "James is much kinder—"

"Sirius is kind too, he _is_ in Gryffindor even though his entire family is Slytherin. Besides, that's part of his bad-boy charm, that sort of 'piss-off' attitude. He has this hard, crumbly, tough exterior, but on the inside, I bet it's like a mushy, warm, gooey center, like a perfectly baked cookie."

Lily refrained from telling Mary that Sirius also drove a flying motorbike. That might enflame things, or cause her ovaries to explode.

"Remus is a much more normal person who isn't going to dump you for the next bimbo," Alice inputted.

"Exactly!" Lily said. "He also has that, er, rugged-ness to him, don't you think?"

Mary shrugged indifferently. "But he always looks sickly. You know how Frank had that sweating problem? I feel like Remus would always have clammy hands. And a clammy forehead."

And he's a werewolf.

"For Merlin's sake," Lily said. "Have you even spoken to him? He's very sweet."

"I don't want sweet, Lily, I want rough and mysterious and bad-ass. Remus maybe has mysterious, but in a way that I don't really _want_ to know what's going on with him, you know?"

"You're too harsh, Mary. Maybe I _should_ set you up with Black."

"Please and thank you," she said with a smile. "Besides, I think Remus and McKinnon are getting busy anyway."

"What?" Lily gasped. "_Marlene_ McKinnon? And Remus _Lupin_?"

Mary nodded. "They've been spending more time together, looking friendly. So you don't have to worry about her sneaking up on your man, Evans," Mary said with a grin.

"Oh, Merlin!" Alice said. "I can't believe we didn't even ask you yet! What about tomorrow?"

"What about it? You already know James and I are going together—"

"But what are you going to wear? What are you going to do? Are you going to let him buy you things?" Mary asked.

"What kinds of questions—"

"Very important ones!" Mary argued. "Want to borrow something?"

"I might have to, since I'm sleeping here tonight."

"Yes! Makeover, Alice!"

"No makeovers," Lily said as Mary already began to dig through her things.

"It's not going to kill you. Besides, tomorrow is a monumental day for all of Hogwarts. You can't be looking mediocre."

"Lily never looks mediocre," Alice said.

"Thank you, Alice. You always look stunning as well."

"You're welcome. And thank you."

"Oh, piss off, the both of you. We're doing this. Alice, you get one two. After all, you're waiting on a proposal, you'll have to look extra nice. But remember, even if he gives you a ring, does not mean you can just give it away for free—"

"Mary!"

"I'm just trying to protect you, Alice!"

"Well, stop!"

Lily giggled and felt the nerves abating a little as Mary painted her nails and assured her everything was going to be all right.

.

"Shit, James! I'm so sorry I'm late!" Lily said, rushing to the Entrance Hall, her hair flying wildly. She looked half-asleep still, except for her eyes, which were shining brightly.

"What happened, Evans?" he asked. It was 11:15. But honestly, he didn't care that she was late, just that she was here at all. He thought she had stood him up and he had been very close to calling it when he had heard her shouting down the hall for people to move out of the way.

She bent over to catch her breath. "Mary, Alice and I didn't go to bed until five in the morning."

"What the hell were you doing?" James asked.

Lily held up her hand, displaying her red fingernails. "Manicures."

"Until five in the morning?!"

"No! We were catching up! Girl talk, you know."

"Were there pillow fights involved?" James asked, momentarily distracted.

Lily hit him on the arm. "If there were, I wouldn't tell you. Anyway, I'm really sorry—"

"Do you want to postpone?" he interrupted, terrified that she would say she wanted to cancel. He figured that if he proposed the lesser of two evils first, it would seem like it was his idea and not hers.

"Merlin, no!" she said, grinning. "Unless I look hideous and you don't want to be seen with me, and _you_ want to postpone, then okay," she said, nodding. She looked at him up and down. "_You_ look very nice, by the way."

James laughed in relief. "You look perfect, Evans. Let's go."

"Mary would disagree," Lily said as they began to walk. James grabbed her hand and she looked up at him with a smile. "She almost tied me down, claiming you couldn't see me like this and that I'd ruin all chances we had together."

"Good thing you aren't dating Mary, then," he said, wondering how possibly dimwitted Mary MacDonald could be. Of all things to ruin their relationship, James hardly thought a bit of messy hair was the most likely. And if anyone's hair was going to ruin this relationship, it would be his. Besides, he liked seeing Lily like this. He preferred knowing she was active and tough, rather than a porcelain doll that couldn't be touched, else it fall apart.

"Mary wants me to set her up with Sirius," Lily said.

"I'll let him know," James said with a laugh. "He's always open to casual dates, if that's what she's looking for."

"Oh, yes, trust me. She's not looking for anything deep or real. Just rough, mysterious and bad-ass."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Neither do I."

"Okay. So, where do you want to go first?" James asked. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. Lily's hand in his was about the only real proof that it was.

"Coffee would be nice."

"Puddifoot's?"

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. "I can't believe you would set foot inside Puddifoot's!" she said, incredulous.

He shrugged. "With the right person, it doesn't really matter where you go," he said.

She bit her lip as she smiled. "Good answer, Potter."

He smiled at her. "Knew you'd like that one."

"Used it before, have you?" she asked him with a suspicious look.

"Never," he protested.

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, for today."

"And for that, I'll pay for your coffee," he said.

"Such a gentleman."

"What can I say, Evans, you caught a break, nabbing me," he said, grinning at her. She flicked her hand.

"I'll ignore that too, Potter."

"And for that, I will buy you something from Honeydukes," he said, already prepared to pay for everything, but enjoying this little game they were playing.

"Hm. Very generous."

"Do you have a place in mind? I can't think of any place besides for Puddifoot's," James said as they approached the main gates of Hogwarts.

"If you ask the owner of Tomes and Scrolls nicely, he'll give us a couple coffees for free while we peruse books. And then you can buy me lunch instead since you won't have to buy me coffee," she said with a smug smile.

"Sneaky, Evans." He grinned at her.

"What?" she said in response to his prolonged staring. "Do I have toothpaste on my face?"

"No," he said, laughing. "I just find it very appropriate that you would spend most of your time in a bookstore when you visit Hogsmeade."

"And you probably spend it in Zonko's. Or that Quidditch shop, what's it called—"

"Spintwitches—"

"Exactly."

"Don't forget the Broomsticks. Rosmerta and I are good friends."

"How good?" Lily said, narrowing her eyes.

James shrugged and made a face. "Feeling threatened?"

"She's much too old for you, anyway" Lily said.

"Oh, I've missed hostile Lily."

"I'm not hostile," Lily argued.

"It's okay. It's one of the things I like about you."

"And I like that you're so accepting of my flaws," she quipped.

"Of course, Evans. You think I'm a narcissist-arse-prick, but you're still willing to date me. It's the least I could do."

She laughed and he put his arm over her shoulders. She put her arm around his waist. Bloody hell, this was really happening.

"You've stopped calling me Lily," she mentioned.

"Does that bother you?"

"No, I think I've just gotten used to it."

"I like Evans," he said. "It's like a pet name," he said with a grin.

"Back on that pet business, are we?" she said. "I thought we determined I wasn't your pet."

He laughed. "I like nicknames. And since you won't let me call you 'Lil'…"

"'Lil' could work, on a probationary period," she said.

"Hm. Okay, Lil. After Tomes and Scrolls, should we grab lunch at the Broomsticks?"

She scrunched her nose. "I'll have to get used to that. But yes, Broomsticks sounds wonderful. As long as you don't flirt with the bartender while we're there."

"Who is the bartender?" James asked.

"And for that, I may even let you buy me dessert," Lily said, smiling.

"Thanks for the opportunity," he said.

They'd finally arrived in Hogsmeade and James took a deep breath of the crisp, October air. He noticed people taking double takes at James and Lily, seeming to be on a date, and he gave them all assuring smiles, to confirm that yes, they were indeed on a date. Lily seemed oblivious, for which he was grateful.

They got their coffees from the owner of Tomes and Scrolls and what James had said previously about 'it doesn't matter where you go' was very much true. He'd never had as much fun looking through books in a bookstore and he didn't think he ever would again with anyone else.

"Look at this handsome fool," Lily said, holding up a purple book with a ridiculous name. "Gilderoy Lockhart. First breakout book."

"_Travels with Trolls_, hm. Why is his face on the front cover?"

"Look at him, he's beautiful," Lily said. "Perfectly chiseled, blond, hair that stays in place, probably has perfect vision…"

"Sounds like a troll to me," James sniffed as Lily laughed, putting the book back on the shelf.

"I'm starving."

"Thank Merlin. I was going to eat Gilderoy's face next if we didn't get out of here soon," James said.

"Mm, he probably tastes like liquorice," Lily said.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," he said.

She shrugged. "You know what I'm talking about though."

"Not a clue."

.

James got them a table in the packed Three Broomsticks and ordered them butterbeers and lunch, paying for it all. Lily took a sip from her butterbeer, warming her down to her toes, but she suspected there were other reasons.

"Do you have siblings, Evans?"

Lily stared at him. "Seriously?"

"What? I really don't know."

"An older sister. You _do_ know that I'm Muggleborn though, right?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, rolling his eyes. "What about your parents? What do they do?"

"My mum owns a flower shop in Cokeworth," Lily said. "Hence the names. My sister's name is Petunia. And, um, my dad passed away in the summer, but he used to be in construction. He managed people and things like that," she said.

"I'm sorry to hear about your dad," James said.

"It's all right. Not your fault. Muggle medicine isn't as good as magical medicine. But what about you? I already know you don't have any siblings; you're far too spoiled for that," she said.

"Afraid it doesn't get much better," James said. "The Potters are a very old, rich family," James said. She could tell he was trying not to sound entitled, but it was difficult with the truth of the fact that he was. "My parents are much older than any of the parents of kids our age, so I was very spoiled as a kid. Still am, actually."

"That explains a lot," she said.

He shrugged. "You can't pick your family."

"Hear, hear."

"But they're still very normal people. Mum likes to garden and Dad, well, he has an almost complete Chocolate Frog Card collection—he's only missing Ptolemy—"

Lily's attention was diverted toward the door when she saw Remus enter with Marlene. She couldn't keep the surprise off her face.

"James," she said, nodding at them. He turned around, and then faced Lily when he saw who she was looking at.

"A bit strange, but yes, it's happening," James said.

"They must have bonded that night," Lily said.

"I guess so," James said. "Good for Remus. He deserves someone."

"He really does," Lily said, wondering if she should bring up the full moon thing again. Peter had been avoiding her, so she couldn't pester him about it.

"What is that look?" he asked.

"What look?" she responded.

"That scheming look. I can see it in your eyes," he said.

"Nothing, honest," she said, smiling and taking a bite of her food. "Just thinking we should go to Honeydukes next so you can buy me some chocolate."

"Okay," he said, nodding. "But you're going to have to tell me something first," he said.

"What?"

"Why did you ask Peter for information on what we do, or not do, on the full moon?" he whispered.

"What?" she whispered back. Her heart was pounding in her chest. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He smiled. "Not buying it, Evans. I know you did. You even bribed him."

"I did not. It was a perfectly acceptable exchange of services—"

"Why didn't you ask me?" James said.

She was taken aback. "Would you have told me?" she blurted out.

He shrugged. "Maybe." He gave her a lopsided smile and her heart stuttered. She felt a bit light-headed.

"Will you tell me now?"

"In a room full of people? Are you mad?"

"Okay, later, then?"

"I'll think about it. Peter will hate me for taking away his only leverage over you though," he said.

"Well, if you do tell me, I will probably still tutor him, anyway. He's pretty smart, I just think he has an unfair disadvantage with three geniuses beside him all the time. And he's the only Marauder that I don't know very well, and I think I'd like to get to know him better," Lily replied.

James tilted his head to the side, like a lost puppy. "That's…well, that's just…very kind of you."

"Uncharacteristic, I know," she said.

James smiled at her and she wished she were sitting closer to him. Bloody hell, she couldn't get over how good he looked, in the orange glow, his wonderfully fitting sweater, his unruly hair, those lopsided glasses…

"Want to get out of here?" James asked, his eyes like melting gold.

"Yes, please."

James led her outside the Broomsticks and she took his hand, leading him away from Honeydukes, and somewhere more private.

"We're going the wrong way," he said.

"We can go there later," she said.

"Are you kidnapping me?" he asked, a smile in his voice. His calloused thumb pad was moving back and forth along the inside of her wrist and it was nearly driving her insane.

"Maybe," she responded.

"I surprisingly don't mind," he answered.

They walked towards the Shrieking Shack, James seeming to know where she was taking him.

"This is romantic," he said once the shack came into view.

"It was the only semi-secluded place I could think of," she said.

"Like I said, romantic," he said, stepping closer to her, his hand moving to her face.

"I know this is our first date, but since we've, sort of, already made out a couple times—"

James ignored her and interrupted her talking by kissing her, using his hands to bring her face up to his. She stood on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as he moved his down to her waist. Damn, he tasted like butterbeer. Lily felt a shiver go down her spine as he led her backwards, her back against a tree. She groaned when he got closer and she pulled herself up to get a better angle—

"What was that?" she said, breaking away from him and turning her head. She thought she heard a snap of a twig.

"What?" James asked, looking around the tree for the sound. "I didn't hear anything."

"This is highly unusual first date behavior," she said, laughing and feeling flush.

"Shut up, Evans, it's our date, we can do what we want," he said with a grin before quickly resuming what he wanted. She wasn't complaining. His hands travelled down below her waist and he briefly separated their bodies so he could lift her up. She gasped at how easily he had accomplished that, but James didn't give her much time to be surprised when he continued to kiss her, now at a more appropriate height. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer to her and allowing more of their bodies to touch now that their feet weren't getting in the way, and it felt so damn good—

"Okay, I heard it that time," James whispered against her lips, breathing heavily. She was still hanging onto his neck with her arms, and to his hips with her legs, and he held her there, just listening. She could feel his heart beat through their contact, but that might have been hers. It was difficult to tell them apart.

"James?"

"Shh. Listen."

"Let me down."

"Not yet. Don't move."

She listened, waiting. She heard another crack.

"Okay, slowly, don't make a sound," he said. She quietly unwrapped her legs from his waist as he lowered her to the ground. The dry grass crunched under her feet and James froze.

He put a finger to his lips and quietly stepped around the tree, drawing his wand and beckoning her to follow.

Her heart was in her throat as she took out her wand. Why, why today of all days…

There was a flutter of black cloth and Lily felt the dread invade her body, like she was taking a bath in icy water. Dementors.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" James yelled, a startlingly large, glowing silver stag erupting from his wand and chasing the Dementors down. But something was wrong. The Dementors were _running_.

"_Stupefy_!" Lily yelled, sending two consecutive Stunners at their retreating backs. Dementors didn't snap twigs or run, she realized.

The two 'Dementors' fell to the ground and she quickly ran towards them, unmasking the imposters.

"Rowle and Gibbon."

"Merlin, do these two ever give up?" James said, breathing heavily. "I thought they were fucking Dementors. In fucking Hogsmeade."

Lily was too distracted to argue with him. His stag was coming back, after having no Dementors to chase down, and she was far too preoccupied with its beauty to correct James of why there couldn't be Dementors in Hogsmeade.

The stag galloped a couple inches off the floor, making no sound and rearing its head. It came towards Lily, magnificent and beautiful, and she felt happy, perfect. James was still swearing about Rowle and Gibbon, and she was surprised his Patronus had remained, considering the foul mood he was now in. She was surprised—and immensely impressed—that he could even produce a corporeal Patronus, and one this strong. Merlin, it was beautiful.

Lily reached out her hand and the stag pressed its head to it. It was warm and filled her with such joy, she could cry.

"James," she said. "This is amazing," she said quietly.

"What are we going to do with them?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter," she said, tossing the subject aside. She wanted to hear more about his Patronus. "Where did you learn how to do this?" she asked, watching as the stag galloped around the trees and slowly dissipated into vapor and smoke.

"My dad made me learn when I turned seventeen. Told me that if I ever wanted to be an Auror, I should learn how to defend myself against Dementors, the living manifestation of evil."

"That's extremely impressive," she said, still glowing after her encounter with James' stag. "It was bloody beautiful. A stag. Hm. Very fitting."

The corner of James' mouth lifted into a half-smile. "As much as I enjoy you _fawning_ over me, we really have a problem here," he said, pointing to the two unconscious bodies on the ground.

She sighed. "Well, they aren't Hogwarts students anymore, so bringing them back to the school isn't that useful. And, they didn't really attack us, probably because they shit their pants once they saw a silver deer charging at them," she said.

James laughed. "If that was all it took to impress you, Evans, I have really been wasting my time with all that 'being nice' business."

"You're right, Potter, I don't even know why you bothered," she said, rolling her eyes. She quickly bound the two with ropes from her wand and levitated them. "Let's go."

"Where?"

"We could find a professor in the village and ask them what we should do. I hardly think anything will happen if we do turn them in though. Or, we could just take their wands and leave them here."

James smiled. "Devious. I like it."

"Someone will find them eventually, right?"

"Right."

James took their wands from their robes and threw them over the fence that surrounded the Shrieking Shack. Lily tied them to a tree that was close enough to the village road so they'd be found relatively quickly, but not immediately, and replaced their hoods, completing the scene with a sign that read, _We are Dementors. Feel free to throw rotten food at us to relieve your stress. Courtesy, the guards of Azkaban. _

"Nice, Evans," James said.

"Thanks."

"Well, it wouldn't be a proper Evans-Potter outing without a couple unconscious people and Dementors, so overall, a successful day, I think."

"Right, because leading up to that point, I was having such a _rotten_ time…"

James pulled her to a stop as they made their way back to the main road, bringing her in for a kiss. Lily may have noticed some people gasp in surprise, but she didn't care. James Potter was kissing her and she was feeling pretty unstoppable right now. And faint—very, very faint.

"Why can't we have more boring lives?" Lily asked, holding his hand as they walked.

"You and I were meant for great things. I can just feel it. Besides, that would be a waste of our immeasurable talent if all we had to do was get through the day without unmasking Death Eaters, don't you think?" he said with a grin.

She shook her head at him.

"You need to teach me how to conjure a Patronus. I want to know what animal mine will be," she said.

"I'm betting it's, like, a hippopotamus—or a boggart, maybe. No, no, a _Grindylow_. Those horns and sharp, spindly fingers? Yeah, you're definitely a Grindylow."

She laughed and punched him in the arm. "Well, we can't all be majestic looking _stags_, with large, powerful _antlers_—"

Antlers!

"Lily? Are you okay?"

"_Prongs_!" she yelled, startling him. "That's why they call you Prongs!" she said, absolutely jovial.

James laughed. "Merlin, I thought you were having a stroke."

"I'm right, aren't I? _Finally_! That stupid nickname finally makes sense!"

"Oi! Stupid?"

"Well, from an outsiders point of view, it might seem a bit stupid to name oneself after something a fork does…"

He laughed. "Okay, well, now you know. My Patronus is a stag and that's what my nickname refers to."

"Wait," Lily said. "You said you didn't learn how to do that until you were seventeen. I'm pretty sure they've been calling you that for longer than a year, Potter."

"Hm," James said. "You're right. Weird."

"James," Lily said, that familiar feeling of apprehension coming back.

"Remember how I told you that I could potentially tell you things if you asked? I meant that, but now is not the right time," he said.

She felt especially suspicious now. "Okay."

"Still want to go to Honeydukes? We have a couple hours left and I still haven't bought you any chocolate."

"Sure," she answered, now distracted by James mysterious nickname and suddenly wondering if it meant anything more than his Patronus. She tried not thinking about it until they were finished their date. "Will later be the right time?"

"Later is a very vague term…"

"Potter!"

"Okay, yes, possibly later. Now can we just forget about that for now? We just survived a Dementor attack and I would really like to buy you some chocolate."

She smiled and weaved her arm with his. She was surprisingly satisfied knowing James 'spirit' animal. It was like discovering something about him that couldn't be expressed in words. A stag was a much more powerful image than saying that James was graceful, or strong, or majestic, because describing a human being in that way was peculiar. But if you said James was like a stag…that somehow made more sense in Lily's mind. She had seen a side she hadn't seen of James before and she liked it. A lot.

If Lily wasn't careful, she may have found herself falling in love with James Potter.

.

Lily sat next to him at dinner and he smiled at her. The Marauders were eating with Mary, Alice and Frank for the first time and it was like a joining of two families. Minus Remus though, who still wasn't here. It seemed Marlene was missing too. Hm.

James encouraged Sirius to sit next to MacDonald and discreetly told him what Lily said this morning, to which Sirius just grinned.

"So, Hogsmeade didn't explode," Sirius said. "I'm guessing your date wasn't terribly interesting."

"Piss off, Black," Lily said. James laughed.

"I had a great time," James said, looking at Lily.

"So did I, Potter," she said, looking back at him with a contented smile. Merlin, that was all he ever wanted in his life, for Lily to look at him like that for the rest of their days.

"Gross," Mary said. "There are other people around," she said to them.

"You're free to look away," Lily said. James grinned as Mary stuck her tongue out at her.

"MacDonald, want to go to the next Hogsmeade with me?" Sirius asked, nudging next to her. "I bet we could make Hogsmeade explode, if we wanted to."

"Ugh, gross," Lily said.

MacDonald blushed and shrugged. "Depends on if someone better asks me from now until then," she said. Lily scoffed quietly, which James noticed.

"Fair enough, MacDonald. But you might want to lock this down before I change my mind," he said.

"Bloody hell," Lily mumbled under her breath. James just watched his best friend in amusement.

"Fine, Black. Next Hogsmeade, it is."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it? Merlin, Prongs, by your record, I would have thought asking a girl out was damn near impossible."

"Well, I've lost my appetite," Lily said.

"Are you staying in Gryffindor Tower again tonight? We still haven't finished catching up," Mary said, giving Lily a look that James didn't understand.

Lily frowned before standing up. "Okay, fine. I'll come by later."

"Okay," Mary responded, before turning to chat with Sirius about their date.

"Hold on, Evans," James said, standing to follow Lily out of the Great Hall.

"Is it later yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think it is."

Lily hurried her steps to the Heads Wing and James followed behind her, nervous about what she would say. This was a big deal, and a big secret, one that James was anxious to share, but only because he wanted her to know everything about him, even it if would potentially leave him with a tremendous punishment.

"Okay," she said. "Tell me."

"I don't really know where to start," he said, sitting on the couch.

"From the beginning? I'm assuming your stag Patronus somehow connects to what happens on the Full Moon. Patronuses don't have some sort of power on werewolves, do they?"

"Not that I'm aware of," James said.

"Okay."

"I have to warn you," he said. "What I'm about to tell you can get Sirius, Peter, Remus and I in a lot of trouble with Dumbledore, as well as the Ministry. We could get expelled and severely fined. And obviously, that's not what we want."

"I understand," Lily said, looking him straight in the eye. "I just want to know what it is you're doing. I promise I'm not going to share this with anyone."

"Just like you said you wouldn't tell any of the Marauders you knew about the Map and then you told Peter?"

Lily fidgeted. "That was a special circumstance. I thought you were in trouble."

"Regardless. You cannot tell a soul. Although, I'm still not fully convinced that you won't stop talking to me as soon as I tell you," he admitted to her.

"I can't guarantee that I won't," she said honestly. "But I will try my best to listen objectively."

"That's all I ask."

"Should I get popcorn?" she asked.

He snorted. "More like a Calming Drought," he responded.

"Tell me."

"Okay, so this started out in second year, when we figured out Remus is a werewolf," James said. "And he told us it was really painful for him, but since he wasn't hurting anyone but himself, that he was okay with it. But that wasn't okay with us," James said.

She frowned. "What could three twelve-year old wizards possibly do to alleviate a werewolf's pain?"

"Almost thirteen," James said with a grin. "Well, we conducted research. With Remus' help, we realized that lycanthropy can't be passed onto animals."

.

Lily had a sinking feeling in her chest.

"But werewolves can still do irreparable harm to animals, like tearing their limbs off—"

"Yes, but Remus' wolf wouldn't."

"You couldn't have known that."

He made a face. "We conducted experiments."

Lily didn't bother asking what kind.

"Okay, but I still don't see how this is relevant."

"Remus said the worst part about transforming was the loneliness, because it caused him to scratch and bite himself instead. And since we couldn't accompany him as humans…"

Lily gulped, her chest beating. "The stag?"

James nodded, smiling weakly. "Do you understand now?"

"Are you trying to tell me what I think you are?"

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm not going to say it, because it could be entirely wrong, and then I'll sound like an idiot," Lily said, knowing what she was thinking was entirely impossible. There was no way—

"Sirius, Peter and I are Animagi."

Lily froze, the thoughts in her head coming to a full stop. There was no way. No bloody way.

"At twelve years old?" she whispered, feeling incredibly sick. How genius were these Marauders?

"Merlin, no!" James said, chuckling slightly. "It took us three years. We finally figured it out in fifth year, with only minor problems, and from then on…"

"Oh Merlin," Lily said, closing her eyes. "I think I might be sick," she said.

"What? Why?"

"I can't even—bloody hell. Animagi at fifteen. Merlin. I can't, I just can't—"

"Lily," James said, standing from the couch and following her.

"Stay right there, Potter," she said, holding her hand out. "I just need to process. You trying to comfort me isn't going to help."

"All right," he nodded, standing anxiously beside the couch.

Shit. This was not what she was expecting. Somehow, she found it more believable that they had somehow discovered a protective spell against werewolves rather than managing to become Animagi. But somehow, this seemed entirely more appropriate. The three Marauders could hardly be considered responsible, and they would be much more likely to waste their talent on an irresponsible solution of becoming Animagi, an extremely dangerous expedition—especially for second-years!—rather than use their talents to actually find an applicable solution to werewolf transformations! It was no wonder Lily never guessed how they were accompanying Remus—the idea was so ludicrous, it could only have come from the Marauders' minds.

"I—I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to act," Lily admitted. "You four are so far beyond me, I'm not even sure how we are able to remain in the same room. It's like you're…just, I don't understand…"

"Understand what?"

She frowned, putting her hands on her forehead. "Just how your minds work! Who decides that they're going to turn into animals to accompany their werewolf friend to, what, keep him company? Do you play cards and drink Firewhiskey as animals? I—you're all mad."

James laughed, which made her furious. "Okay, well, what if I told you that when we're with Remus, it's less painful for him. He seems more in control. He can keep part of his mind instead of losing it to the wolf."

"So that night when you broke your rib…he didn't seem to be in control then."

"Ah, well, that was a special circumstance. I was with Remus alone since Sirius and Peter had other obligations—"

"James!" she protested, horror-stricken that he would do such a reckless thing.

"What?"

"How stupid are you? It's bad enough that you go out there in the first place, but alone? Your animagus is a stag, is it not? Remus teeth could have—"

"Evans, relax! It was under control. Remus' wolf recognized me, it was just upset that Sirius and Peter weren't there as well. Nothing else happened."

That didn't make her feel any better, but she had nothing left to say to him.

"You're upset."

"_Of course I'm upset!_" she said shrilly. James backed off for he had been taking steps towards her. "I love Remus like a brother, but that does not mean I support endangering three other lives, just so he could have a little less pain! I would have thought Remus had more sense!"

"Of course he has more sense!" James responded, finally dropping his comforting smile in order to defend his friend. "He was against it the whole time, and still is, but you know Remus. He's one of my best mates, but he can be a bit weak-willed when it comes to standing up for his beliefs. He doesn't like to do anything that would make us think badly of him. That means that he allows the full moon outings just so his friends will continue to think of him as some relaxed, chilled out person. Trust me, Lil, it bothers Remus almost as much as it does you, but we just ignore it because, well, because we're idiots. Not Remus."

Lily was never really upset with Remus, even before James defended him. That really wasn't what was bothering her. Shit, she didn't know if she could even coherently describe it if she tried.

"You're…I don't even know. Why are you so…"

"So stupid? Idiotic? Irresponsible? Prick-like?"

"No," she said, actually laughing. "You're a bloody stag, that's what you are."

James looked confused. "What?"

"Noble, pure, defends your friends, even against a silly verbal abuse from me, even going so far as risking your own, stupid, wasteful lives…you're truly a bloody stag. Fuck, the ultimate graceful, beautiful—fucking stupid, idiotic, irresponsible prick ever."

James laughed as Lily smiled unbelievably. She felt insane, like what it would feel like if one actually lost their mind and couldn't find it. She felt high.

"So you're not upset anymore?"

"Yes, I am, but not because of you, or Black, or Pettigrew, or Remus."

"Then why?"

"I can't explain it, Potter. Something I need to work out still." She was upset that he was so bloody perfect and she was just an average witch who couldn't possibly compete with him. Merlin. Even when he was being a stupid prick, he was still bloody perfect.

"All right," he said, nodding. "You think I'm beautiful?" he asked with a smile.

She groaned. "Oh, fuck, Potter! Not your bloody face!" Well, his face was beautiful, but that wasn't what she meant at the time.

He laughed. "What, then?"

"Oh, I don't know! Your bloody _soul_ is beautiful—"

James laughed, really let it all out, holding his stomach, and Lily couldn't help but join him. This entire conversation was absolutely ridiculous. He had a beautiful soul? What the fuck had she been thinking?

"Please, forget I said that," Lily said through her gasps for breath.

"Never," James said, wiping his eyes. "You made my beautiful soul blush—"

Both of them erupted into laughter again and neither could breathe for a long time.

"For the record, Lil," James said as she took deep, steadying breaths. "I think you have a beautiful soul, as well," he said, seriously with a small smile.

"Okay," she said. "You can stop mocking me now."

"No, I'm serious. You do. It's pure and kind, despite your outward demeanor, which truly is like a Grindylow—"

She threw a pillow at his head, which he caught easily with his Chaser reflexes. "No, but really. I wouldn't be surprised if you were, like, a horse, or a swan."

She frowned. "A swan?"

"I don't know," he said, shrugging. "It was the second most 'beautiful' animal I could think of."

She laughed and shook her head. "Not a swan."

"Okay, fine."

"Can I see your Patronus again?" she asked.

"Don't you want to see my animagus form?" he asked her.

She made a face. "No offense, Potter, but if you transformed in front of my eyes, I cannot guarantee that I will not faint. Or send a Stunner in your direction. I'm entirely unpredictable right now." Seeing her boyfriend—person she was dating—transform into a giant animal would be too weird for her.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I've kissed your face! It would just be weird!" she said before she could stop herself.

James burst out laughing. "Okay, fine. _Expecto Patronum_." The glowing silver stag erupted from his wand and cantered around the room, stopping at Lily's perch on the couch. It nuzzled her hand and she laughed, awe-struck at the warmth radiating from it. She didn't know which memory James had used in conjuring it, but it was strong, and she could almost feel his emotions filling her heart.

"This is much more normal. I can deal with this," Lily said, petting the stag on the head.

James was looking at her with a strange smile on his face.

"What?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't exactly sure what your reaction would be, but it sure wasn't anything like this," he said.

"What, you thought it would attack you and then turn you in?"

"Maybe, I honestly don't know."

"Then why did you tell me? That's extremely risky."

He shrugged again as his Patronus walked around the room and slowly faded. "I don't like having secrets from you. I figured it would be worse if Peter told you, as well. At least you could yell at me without having the others suffer for it."

She rolled her eyes. "You can stop pretending to be so noble." Even though the admission had her heart fluttering a little. He wanted to be open with her and even share his potentially life-ruining secret with her, even if she potentially turned him in for it. Hm.

He laughed. "Just one of my stag qualities, Evans. It can't be helped."

"You know, I reckon you three might even have received some sort of Transfiguration award, if it weren't illegal. And why does Peter even need any help with classes if he's an Animagus?" Lily asked.

"Sirius and I helped him a lot. He just needs more time to work things through. Are you still going to tutor him?"

"Yeah, I think I will."

He grinned. "Beautiful soul."

She rolled her eyes. "I have ulterior motives."

"Not really though."

"Hold on," Lily said. "Do your stag antlers ever fall off?" she asked.

James snorted. "No. Um, well actually, I don't know," James said, beginning to consider it. "I know that if your human body undergoes a physical change, it's reflected in the animagus form, but I'm not sure what the human equivalent of antlers would be…"

"Ego, maybe?" Lily offered, facetiously.

James considered it. "So, no, I don't think mine will ever fall off."

She laughed. "What's it like, when you're the deer? Can you speak with other deer, or can they tell you're not, you know, a real animal?"

James smiled. "I can't _speak_ with other deer, but I can sort of guess what they're feeling and such. Actually, some doe actually flock to me sometimes…"

Lily's mouth dropped. "That's immensely disturbing," she said.

James laughed. "I'm kidding, Evans! Merlin. I've never even interacted with any other deer before. There aren't any in the Forbidden Forest because of the centaurs, so I've never had the chance. I've only even been in contact with Sirius, Peter and Remus in my animagus form, and maybe a couple birds."

"You're an arse," she said as he continued to laugh at her. She blushed.

"But to answer your question, yes, we are sort of like real animals when we transform. Sirius even contracted fleas once—"

"Fleas?!" Lily asked. She hadn't even considered what the other two Marauders were. "What animal is he?"

"A dog. Huge, black, shaggy dog."

"Dog. Padded feet. Hm." Lily considered it. Suited him. "Ah, so _that's_ why he shaved his head at the end of fifth year! Mary was heartbroken," Lily said. "We all thought he lost a bet or something."

James laughed. "It hasn't happened since. He's learned to take better care of his dog."

"And Peter? What's he?"

"A rat. Large, fat, cheese-eating rat."

Lily laughed. "Wormtail. Got it."

"Look, Evans, what I said about not telling anyone, you understand why that's of paramount importance, don't you?"

"I'm not an idiot, Potter," she said. "Of course I understand. For all I know, I could get in trouble for not turning you in immediately."

"Exactly. But you also shouldn't tell Sirius or Remus that you know. I guess you will have to tell Peter if you plan to tutor him anyway, but the other two won't be able to handle it right now."

"Okay. And Peter will?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. If I tell him it's all good, he'll believe me. Sirius and Remus will feel a bit less secure about you knowing. No offense. "

"None taken. But, it's not like the opportunity will ever arise. Remus doesn't mention his lycanthropy to me, and Sirius and I are barely on speaking terms anyway."

"He'll get better."

Lily smiled, even though she had her doubts. She wasn't going to be one of those girls who complained to her boyfriend about his friends.

"Well, this has been an interesting night. I think I should be on my way to Gryffindor Tower. Mary will want a break down of our date, so I probably won't see you until late tomorrow afternoon."

James followed her to the door. "So what is this now, Evans?" he asked, playing with a strand of her hair between his fingers.

"I don't know, Potter," she asked, amazed by how quickly she could go from breathing normally to barely breathing at all.

He smiled. "I figure it might be too soon to ask you to be my girlfriend, hm?"

Her heart exploded at the thought. "Hm. I don't think I'd mind."

"Really? That easily?" he said.

"Our beautiful souls must just be connecting on some supernatural level, Potter. I can't explain it," she said with a half shrug.

James laughed and bent his face down to her cheek. He kissed it, lingering, and retracted his head, turning the strand he'd be playing with behind her ear, his fingers tracing her jaw.

"Okay. Let's go," he said.

"Go where?" she asked, startled by the sudden change in topic.

"It would be improper for me to not walk my girlfriend back to her door, don't you agree, Evans?" he said, holding the door open for her.

She blushed at the term _'my girlfriend_' leaving his lips. It sounded so…mundane and dull. She almost preferred_ 'soul-partners'_, or something ridiculous like that. After all, she had basically seen James' soul…

"Coming, Lily?"

"Right behind you," she said, smiling. James Potter, boyfriend. Hm. She guessed she could get used to that.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, I know fake Dementors aren't particularly original, but I needed a reason for James to use his Patronus, and I didn't think actual Dementors would be appropriate either. Hope it doesn't bother too many of you. **

**Again, not the best chapter, but I promise it gets better. If this date was not satisfactory for you hardcore Jily fans, I'm sorry! I'm not the best at writing super romantic things because it always seems fake and very unrealistic. **

**Also, some of you may have noticed I updated Chapter 10, and the reason for this was that James/Sirius called Moody "Mad-Eye", when he still has both of his normal eyes at this point of the story. So, I just changed that bit to "Mad Moody." Read the update on Chapter 10 if you're confused. **

**Another thing I must admit is that on various sites and such, they say that Petunia's wedding supposedly took place at the end of 1977, while Lily and James were still at Hogwarts. However, because of my bad planning and story-line development, I chose to put it at the end of their Hogwarts year instead, which means Petunia actually gets married in 1978. Not a big deal, but I said I was trying to be as accurate as possible, and I broke that rule, and I thought I should confess, haha. I doubt any of you even care though, as long as I update quickly, right? ;D**

**You know what to do. Review, wonderful people. **


	16. Chapter 16: A Happy Halloween

**16: A Happy Halloween **

Lily walked through the halls, never remembering a time she had felt so happy. Sure, everything was a wreck outside the walls of Hogwarts, but right now, none of Voldemort's doom could touch her and she refused to let her spirit be dampened.

"Oho, Ms. Evans!" said Slughorn, appearing around the corner before Lily could dodge him.

"Professor!" she said, faking a smile. "Pleasant morning, isn't it?" she said. She only just noticed who was standing beside the Slug and she tried not to react. "Severus," she greeted coolly, to which he nodded.

"Indeed it is," he responded. "You received my Halloween dinner party invitation, surely?" he asked.

"Oh, I, er, yes, Professor," she said. And she had effectively forgotten about it until now, which had just ruined her pleasant morning.

"And I trust you will be in attendance?"

"Halloween night? I may have already obliged my time elsewhere—"

"Very well, Ms. Evans. However, I expect to see you there if you have no other obligations—"

"Of course, Professor. Have a nice day—Severus? May I have a word?" she said before Sev walked away.

He looked surprised, but nodded as Slughorn continued down the hallway.

"Um," she started. "I never got the opportunity to thank you for letting James free after Mulciber attacked him. He said he didn't see who it was, but—"

"I did no such thing," Sev said immediately. Lily couldn't help but smile, which startled him.

"I know you did. Anyway, you don't have to say anything in return, I'm just glad you did it. I owe you one," she added.

He looked pale—well, paler than normal. "I didn't do it for you," he hissed out, eyes narrowed. "I owed Potter a debt, and no matter how insincere his little rescue was, it weighed down on me that I owed that piece of scum—"

"Okay," Lily said, giving him another small smile. "Whatever your reason, I know there's still a good part inside you somewhere. And until that part of you is completely demolished, I'll still hold out hope that you'll come back. But until then, goodbye, Sev," she said, walking away from his stunned expression.

At breakfast, Lily saw her owl, Minerva (named before knowing her Professor's first name), fly in at breakfast. She had written her mother the night before, informing her that she was dating James and that she was probably going to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas break, yet again.

She opened the letter and nearly spilled coffee down her front. No one seemed to notice. She was grateful James was eating breakfast with the Marauders this morning. Bloody hell.

"So, has Frank officially popped the question yet?" Mary asked Alice. He had gotten three detentions for his public outburst, and everyone thought that was a bit harsh on McGonagall's part. But Lily understood why she did it; if not, they would never have a peaceful breakfast in the Great Hall ever again, with love confessions being shouted across tables while people were still trying to wake up.

"No," Alice said, frowning at Mary. "But he's been hinting at it."

"You don't seem happy about that," Mary said.

"This is all your fault, you know," Alice said to her.

"My fault? Why? What have I done?" Mary asked.

"You said that stupid thing about all girls wanting to be swept off their feet—"

"I was just informing Frank in the most subtle way possible of what you confided in me—"

"Confided in! You weren't supposed to share it with him!"

"Oh, come on, Alice! You enjoyed it, don't even lie," Mary said with a grin.

"That's not the point," Alice said, blushing. "Ever since then, he's been killing himself over getting the proposal right and it's stressing him out. He's always sweaty and nervous, and I just miss it when we could be together without either one of us feeling uncomfortable. And you've ruined that, Mary," Alice said.

Mary looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, I never realized he would take it that whole-heartedly. But don't you think it's romantic?"

"No," Alice said. "Frank is a hand-holder and like I said, he's always sweaty now."

Mary laughed and even Lily cracked a smile. "I can subtly inform him of your perfect, low-key proposal, if you like, in recompense for Mary's tactless actions," Lily said.

"No," Alice said. "I don't want him to give up completely," she said with a small grin.

Mary laughed with glee. "I knew it! I was right!"

"Congratulations, MacDonald," Lily said dryly.

"All right, I have the answer. Maybe we can just find him some sort of Anti-Sweating Charm or something. Lily? Any ideas?"

"Why are you looking at me?" she asked.

"Because you're, like, the Charm-clopedia. Think, think! Anything?"

Lily scowled at her friend. "No."

"We won't give up, Alice, don't you fret!"

Lily made her way to the library after breakfast and began working on her homework. She had an hour until she was meeting Peter and she wanted it to be done by that time.

"Boo," said a whisper in her ear, large hands covering her eyes. She smiled and pulled the hands off, turning around to find James. He sat down next to her and gave her a kiss. She wrapped her hands around his neck and held him there. "Hey," he said, smiling at her.

"Hey," she repeated with a smile. She fixed his lopsided glasses, but they just returned to their normal position on his face. "I can't really talk, I have to finish Charms before Peter gets here."

"Okay, that's fine. I just wanted to know what you were doing on Halloween," he said.

"Why?" she asked as he played with her fingers.

"Well, Hagrid's invited us for tea. I know you haven't met him yet—"

"I'd love to!" she said, gleeful that she finally had a valid reason not to go to the Slug Club party. She was shushed by people in the next aisle and she dropped her voice. "Yes, of course, I'd love to," she repeated in a whisper.

"Great!" he said, giving her another small kiss. "I'll let him know. Also, just a warning," he said, standing up. "I sort of let it slip to my parents that I'm dating you and they may have mentioned to me that they would like to meet you—okay, that's it, bye!" he said, dashing out of the library before she could even process what he had said.

HE TOLD HIS PARENTS?

Well, Lily had told her mum as well, but still. She didn't know what James' relationship with his parents was like, but this seemed like a big deal to her. James didn't seem the type to check in on his parents frequently, especially about matters such as this.

Lily didn't know why that was making her panic, but there was no denying the shortness of breath, or the fierce beating of her heart as she watched his fast-moving figure leaving the library without even a second glance back at her. What did that mean? His parents wanted to meet her? Oh, Merlin.

She tried shoving the idea out of her mind, but her cruel thoughts kept conjuring up terrible ways in which the encounter would occur. Not to mention her own mother's plans for this Christmas…

She was just going to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas and be done with it. Kill two awkward encounters with one stone, so to speak.

Then she got suspicious. Was this Hagrid meeting some sort of test? Was Hagrid James' sort-of surrogate parent here at Hogwarts and he wanted to make sure she didn't mess it all up for the real thing?

Merlin, they had only been dating two weeks, how could his parents already want to meet her? Oh, bloody hell.

"Lily?" Peter said, sitting down across from her. "Are you okay?"

"Peter, you're early!"

"No, actually, I'm five minutes late," he said, checking his watch.

"What?" Lily said, checking her own. Merlin, had she been sitting here for an hour without doing anything? Damn James and his stupid announcements! "Merlin, okay," she said, gathering her thoughts. "Okay, right. Where did we leave off last time?"

Peter got out his notes and scrambled through them. "This is hopeless, Lily," he said, giving up his search.

"What do you mean? Never mind, I remember now, we were about to start—"

"No, not that, this!" he said. "This entire thing! There's no point in you trying to help me because no matter how hard I try, nothing is going to help me become a better wizard. I'm just a sad, fat, excuse for a wiard. I'm basically a Squib. I'm never going to survive out there—"

"Peter!" Lily said, startled by his self-hating rant. "What are you talking about? You're a great wizard!" she said, giving him a smile. "Did you forget that you're—" she dropped her voice to barely a whisper, "—an Animagus! That's something I would barely be able to accomplish. It's an extremely commendable feat—"

"I only did that because James and Sirius told me exactly what to do! I didn't do any of the work for that either! I'm hopeless—"

"Peter, it's not a bad thing to need help from your friends," Lily said. "No one can do everything by themselves. James and Sirius didn't make you transform, did they? No, _you_ did that. They just showed you how, but ultimately, it was you. You're very talented, Peter. You just need to believe it. I think that if you really tried, you could take James or Sirius, Remus too, any day. You just need to believe you can," she said.

Peter's watery eyes peered at her, and he looked so small. "I could never take Sirius, James and Remus," he said.

"Well, maybe not all at once," she said, laughing lightly, "but on their own, sure you could!" she said with a smile. "Come on. I'll help you. By the end of this year, you'll be able to hold your own with at least one of them. No man is an island, Peter."

Peter gave her an enormous grin. "Thanks, Lily."

"No problem. Now remind me again where we were? I really don't remember."

.

James was in a state about what he had thoughtlessly blurted out to Lily in the library. He had barely mentioned Lily's name in his letter to his parents, but they had responded with a full paragraph in response about meeting her this Christmas break. He hardly thought they would be so adamant about this. It had only been two weeks, blimey!

What made things worse that his mum threatened to write Lily herself if James did not give a reply in a couple days. He'd made the extremely novice mistake of telling them her full name. Merlin. What a disaster.

Lily returned after her tutoring session with Peter, a mask of indifference on her face. James waited on the couch for her to address the topic.

"James—"

"Look, Lily, I didn't mean to blurt out that nonsense earlier, it was stupid. Of course, I understand if you—"

"Stop," she said holding out her hand. "I don't know what you told your parents," she said, "but I just want you to know. I'd be happy to meet them, but the only time I can think of is Christmas break, and I've already resolved to stay at Hogwarts, so the next time we go home would be the summer hols. And who knows? Maybe we won't even be together by that point," Lily said, looking nervous.

James was disappointed, alarmingly so. He tried not letting it show on his face, but he didn't think he was entirely successful. "Oh, right. Okay. You're staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas break."

"Yeah. I mean, I know it's a long way off, but I thought it would be best, you know, with N.E.W.T.s this year and with everything that's going on outside. I just thought I'd have one more peaceful Christmas at Hogwarts before we're thrown out of this place. It has nothing to do with your parents," she added hastily.

"Right, yeah, makes sense," he said, resuming his place on the couch.

"James?" Lily said, cautiously coming towards him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I just—you really think we're not going to last till the summer holidays?" he asked, blurting it out before he could stop himself. Damn him and his impulsive tongue. Couldn't wait a damn second to let his brain make the right decision, could it?

"What, James, no—what I meant was—"

"'Cause I was under the impression that things were going smoothly—"

"That's not what I meant—"

"And if you think there's something wrong—"

"Will you stop talking?" she said, covering his mouth. "Of course things are going smoothly. They're wonderful, in fact. And that's the problem," she said, her face falling.

"Evans, in my book, wonderful usually means good," he said, ignoring the leap of his heart at the 'wonderful' and trying to work out why it was a problem.

She sighed. "Nothing wonderful for me ever lasts, James. Besides for Hogwarts, but that's going to be ending soon too. And then what will I have left? I feel like whenever something good comes my way, it's brutally shut down before I have even enough time to appreciate—"

"Lily," he said, softly, smiling. She looked desperate for him to understand, but he just smiled. "Lil, that's not going to happen. We're fine. As long as you want this to keep going, I'm not going anywhere."

"That's totally not under you control," she said, frowning at him. "I'm not saying something terrible is going to happen—knock on wood—" she said, tapping on the table, "—but those sorts of things are entirely out of our control. Who knows, maybe I won't even graduate, and then I'll be forced to live out on the street as a wandless—"

"Lily! What the hell is wrong with you? None of that is going to happen, just—Merlin!"

She groaned and threw herself back on the couch. "I'm sorry. Just something that Peter said today."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, it doesn't even matter. I was just feeling a bit down and sorry for myself. I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

"I'm your boyfriend, I'm pretty sure that's normal behavior for people in relationships," he said, as she closed her eyes. He saw something—a letter—peeking out of her robe pocket and would have ignored it if he hadn't seen his name on it. Lily's eyes were still closed, so he deftly reached into her robe pocket and pulled it out, scanning his eyes over it quickly.

_Lily, dear, _

_I'm so glad to hear about you and James! He seems lovely. Actually, the idea just popped into my head—he should come visit us over the Christmas break, that way you could come home! I'm guessing that's the reason you want to stay this year, because you want to be together? Anyway, I would love to host him for a weekend, and that way, you can spend the rest of the break with your sister, preparing for the wedding! _

_Please, Lily, come home this Christmas! The house is awfully lonely without you and Petunia._

_Love, your Mum_

"Lil," James said, as Lily's eyes remained shut.

"Mh?"

"Whose wedding is your mum referring to in this letter?" he asked, wondering if Lily had mentioned a wedding in her last letter to her mum. It had only been two weeks—very happy two weeks, but still. A wedding was a bit soon, wasn't it?

.

Lily's eyes shot open and she found James with the letter in his hand, a curious look on his face. Her heart exploded into furious beating and she jumped into the air, trying to grab it. He effortlessly avoided her and held it above his head with a slight smile on his face. She pulled out her wand and accio-ed it back into her hand.

"How the hell did you get that?" she asked, folding it and putting it back in her robe pocket. "You can't go reading other people's mail, Potter—"

"I have very nimble fingers," he answered, this time with a suggestive smile. She glared at him.

"That's an invasion of privacy."

"I saw my name on it."

"Just because your name is on it, does _not_ mean you can go grabbing things out of people's pockets!" she yelled, angrily.

"Whose wedding was she talking about?" he repeated.

"Oh, relax, Potter," Lily said with an eye-roll. "My sister's."

"Oh," he said. She tried not to read too much into his expression, whether it was relief or disappointment. "I didn't know your sister was getting married."

Lily sighed and leaned her head back against the couch, this time with her eyes open. "My sister and I don't get along. It's not a big deal."

"Why?"

"Why don't we get along, or why is it not a big deal?"

"Both."

"It's just the way it is. Deep down in our cores, Petunia and I are very different people. We just grew apart and that's the end of it. Not a big deal."

"The letter also says your mum wants me to come visit during the Christmas break."

Lily glared at him.

"When were you going to tell me, hm?" he asked her, eyes narrowing slightly.

She felt the anxiety crush her chest and she took deep breaths through her nose. "I wasn't going to tell you because I already told _both of you_ I'm not going home for the break. I'm staying at Hogwarts. Besides, she's only trying to be polite," she said, standing and pretending to look for a book on the shelf.

"That's rude of you," James said. "You think your mum doesn't actually want to meet me, she just wants to be polite?"

"I don't know what she thinks, I just know I'm not going. You're welcome to go alone though, if it means that much to you," she said.

"What is wrong, Evans?" he asked, coming over to her. "Why are you being so prickly about this? You expertly evaded my parents' invitation as well, when you had one of your own in your pocket."

She pursed her lips. "I did not evade, I just can't. I'm staying at Hogwarts, end of discussion. Besides, I'm a prickly person, I thought you would have figured that out by now," she said, picking up a random book and flipping through it.

"Lil," he said, turning her by her shoulders to face him. He looked serious when she wished he would just crack a joke, then drop this and never talk about it again.

"James," she replied.

"I know the idea makes you panic, but I want to meet your family."

Lily groaned and returned to the couch. "Potter! Can't we just enjoy this little bliss we have here at Hogwarts? Why do we have to bring family into this?"

"I'm ecstatic you think we're blissful, Evans, really, but I don't understand why you're fighting this. Do you not want me to meet your family?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Most of the time, I find your frankness charming, but right now, it's a bit harsh," he said, sitting down next to her on the couch. "Fine. Why don't we talk about my parents then? Because I'm pretty sure you staying over the break is just an excuse for not having to meet my parents—"

"James," she groaned.

"What?" he asked. "Tell me!"

"I'm just—I don't know! What if they hate me?"

"So? Who cares? I'm the only one who has to like you—"

"So if your parents told you I was the Devil incarnate, you would just ignore them and continue dating me against their wishes?"

"Obviously. Wouldn't you do the same?" he asked with a smile that made her want to believe in all the good things in this world. She smiled back, even though she still felt miserable on the inside.

"Probably."

"Lily, you can be a heartless woman sometimes," he told her. She laughed and leaned her head against him. He wrapped his arm around her and she closed her eyes.

"Is that really what you're worried about? You think they won't like you?"

"James, you're the _only_ son to elderly _purebloods_. Of course they're not going to like me. They aren't going to give their son away to a Muggleborn nothing from Cokeworth, especially if they want to see grandkids before they're too old to hold them."

"You're not a nothing from Cokeworth! You're the brightest witch in our year, Evans, maybe in our century." She rolled her eyes at that and he grinned. "Besides, my parents aren't like that. They don't give a hoot about blood status, and both of them are already used to the possibility that Sirius and I will end up living together and they'll never have grandchildren. Not that they'd mind too much, because they love Sirius like a son anyway—"

"Have you ever brought a girl home before?" she asked, ignoring him.

"No, why?"

"Because then you won't truly know what your parents will be like until that happens. And I get to be the guinea pig."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I am not, Potter."

"Okay, I can sort of understand why you're apprehensive about meeting my parents. But why are you worried about me meeting yours? I'm a charmer, Evans, it'll be great!"

She groaned, pressing her face into his shirt. "You are _such_ a narcissist."

"But _you're_ dating me, so obviously _you_ find me charming."

"It will be so uncomfortable."

"Surely you can get through one weekend."

"You want to stay for a whole _weekend_?" she asked, removing her face from his shirt so she could stare at him. He was looking at her with that wicked grin of his.

"That's what your mum said."

"Merlin, why?" she said. "No. Out of the question. Not an entire weekend."

"Two days, then?"

"Is there something fundamentally wrong with your brain, Potter?" she said, poking his temple with her finger. "Normal people do not willingly want to spend time with their in-laws—"

"In-laws? We're not married yet, Evans."

"You know what I mean," she said, blushing at his smile. He was playing with her hair and it was distracting her. "My point being, there is something wrong with you if you want to spend an entire _weekend_ with my family. _I _don't even like spending an entire weekend with my family."

"Well, if they're as kind and charming as you, Lily, I'm sure we'll get along swimmingly," he said, dropping a kiss on her lips.

Lily stopped thinking about Petunia and her mother as James effectively distracted her from the cloud of impending doom in the horizon. She leaned back against the couch's armrest, James comfortably pressing into her.

"See? We get along just fine. It'll be great, Evans," he said, pulling back to drop light kisses against her jaw.

"James," she complained. He ignored her and she sighed. "I don't think it's a good idea. We've only been dating two weeks. And Christmas is, what, less than two months away? We could be—"

"Don't you dare say it," he said, bringing his face up to look at hers. "You already jinxed us once, I won't have you doing it again."

She frowned. "I'm just being realistic, James. That's a long time for things to go wrong."

"When you think like that, yeah. But it's also plenty of time for things to go right," he said with a smile.

She smiled weakly back. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does. The only thing is, I feel like there is more to this you're not saying," he said, playing with an errant strand of her hair as they lay on the couch, side by side.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" he asked, looking at her seriously.

"No, Merlin. No. Just—my family, they're not like me. What I'm like here, it's different at home."

"Why, 'cause they're Muggles?"

"Yes, partly. I just don't want you to think I'm a different person."

James smiled. "I know you, Evans. Meeting your family is not going to change that."

"Does it really mean that much to you?" she asked him.

He grinned at her. "If I say yes, will you agree to it?"

"You're a ponce," she replied, pushing him aside and sitting up. He laughed as he sat up next to her and kissed her again anyway.

"Is that a yes?" he said. She could feel his lips moving against hers with his words, his hands still on her face. It was so hard to say no when he did things like that.

"I'll think about it," she settled with.

"What about _my_ parents? Is that a yes, too?" he said, dropping small, lingering kisses on her lips every other word. "After all, they did ask first."

She felt dizzy. "Maybe."

"I'll take it." He finally kissed her properly, showing, in more ways than one, exactly how nimble his fingers were as they quickly found their way up her back, playing at the clasp in the middle of her back. They teased, but didn't quite do the deed.

"James," she said, suddenly nervous.

"Sorry," he said, stopping his fingers, but continuing to kiss her. "Sorry, got carried away." He returned his hands to her lower back, warm and deft. He lifted her so she was straddling his legs and he moved his kisses down her neck. She felt a shiver go down her spine and James grinned against her skin.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's—"

"Too soon, I know. It's fine. Don't freak out," he said between kisses. He moved back up to her face. "I'm good. Are you good?"

"I'm good," she replied, smiling against his lips. "Thanks."

"Shut up, Evans," he responded. She did gladly.

.

"Severus," Regulus said, sitting next to him at breakfast. Severus was startled out of his enraged glaring at the Gryffindor Table as he watched Lily—Potter—their faces—

"What?" he snapped. Regulus' eyebrows rose.

"Tone, Severus. You forget to whom you are speaking," he said haughtily. Those damn Blacks and their damn superiority—

"Is there word?" he asked, the image burned onto his retinas, keeping the image permanently present in his brain. His hand gripped his wand so tightly under the table, his knuckles cracked and Regulus narrowed his eyes.

"Is there something wrong, Snape?" Regulus asked.

"No. Is there word?" he hissed back.

Regulus dropped it. "I told you the Dark Lord wants to meet you over the Christmas break, but he requires you to pass a test, along with the others. Do you think you can do that?"

"A test?" Sev said, turning to Regulus. "Haven't we already proven ourselves with the potion?"

Regulus grinned. "Oh, dear Snape, if you thought that was enough to gain entry, you have been severely deluded."

"What kind of test?" he asked him.

Regulus shrugged uncharacteristically. "He has not told me. But your home neighborhood, it's primarily Muggle, isn't it?"

Snape's eyebrow twitched, but he refused to show any emotion. "Yes."

"Wonderful. Make your way home during Christmas as usual, and go home. The Dark Lord will be in contact," Regulus said, leaving the table and the Great Hall.

.

Sirius bumped into Lily's shoulder as they walked and he continued on as if he hadn't noticed. She adjusted her books, glaring at the back of his head and wishing she could shoot curses from her eyes.

"What is his problem?" Mary asked.

"Why don't you ask him for me? Since you two are still seeing each other—"

"It's a very open relationship—" Mary said. "Besides, we don't do much talking—"

"Stop," Lily said, holding her hand out. "Are you sure that's what you want, Mary?"

Mary shrugged, but Lily could see that it wasn't. "It's fun. He's a great kisser, and, er, other things. And it's very relaxed, no games. We're young, and free."

Lily gave her a half smile. "Then what are James and I?" she asked.

"And old, tired, married couple."

"Rather that than be attached to that miserable bastard," she said, pointing her thumb at Sirius Black who was laughing with his black mane thrown behind him. Now that Lily knew about his animagus, she was seeing elements of it popping out everywhere. It was very disturbing, and a bit amusing at the same time.

Mary sighed. "I can try talking to him for you," she offered.

"Wouldn't want you to jeopardize your relationship," Lily said. Mary rolled her eyes. "He hates me."

"Well, it's not like you grovel at his feet for forgiveness either—"

"_Forgiveness_? Why do _I_ need to ask for forgiveness?"

"I'm not saying he's right or anything, I'm just saying that you used to do things that were against his moral beliefs," Mary said gently. "James has forgiven you, obviously, but that doesn't mean Sirius has. I'm pretty sure he's the kind to hold grudges. Long ones that span years and years, and by the end of it, no one remembers why you were fighting in the first place. You will probably have a lot to ask forgiveness from that one," she explained.

Lily was outraged. If anyone should be asking forgiveness, it should be him—

"He's not going to," Mary answered her silent accusation. "He's much too proud. And he was there first."

"Where?"

"At James' side. You know you can't make James choose between you and him, right? Sirius was there first. You're the newcomer, so you need to make amends. Rules of friendships and relationships, Lily."

"Who made up this ridiculous rule?" she asked.

"All the people who suffered through relationships before us."

Lily sighed. "Well, of course I would never make James choose between us. They have bonds that I could never hope to create with him. But I just wish Black knew that, and stopped acting like a jealous girlfriend," she said as he passed an indifferent grey glance over her, like she didn't even exist. "What an arse," Lily mumbled. Mary just patted her shoulder.

.

Lily and James said goodbye to Hagrid, wishing him a Happy Halloween, and James gave Hagrid's new puppy, Fang, a pat on his head. Lily put some rock cakes in her bag, as per Hagrid's insistence, and she thanked him for being such a kind host, with promises to visit soon.

"Hagrid's the best," Lily said, linking her arm with James' as they walked back across the grounds.

"He is, isn't he? My first detention in first year with Sirius was with Hagrid. We walked around the Forbidden Forest for hours, just exploring. He said we were supposed to be looking for something, but we never found it. Sirius and I were just having fun."

"That hardly seems like punishment," she said.

"It wasn't. That's why we always love detention with Hagrid," he grinned.

Lily and James walked around the grounds for a time afterward, enjoying one another's company and the cool October weather.

"Fancy a fly?" James said as they neared the Quidditch Pitch.

Lily agreed and he brought out two broomsticks. "I haven't been on one of these since first year," she said.

"But you were pretty good, if I recall correctly," he said.

She shrugged. "It's not that hard, I just don't like feeling so unstable all the time," she said, kicking off and hovering above James' head. She let out a breath and grinned down at him. "Coming?"

He mounted his broom and quickly joined her, flying in spirals above her head. She rolled her eyes and slowly followed him to his height.

"Want to throw Hagrid's rock cakes through the hoops?" Lily asked him.

James laughed and agreed enthusiastically. They made a competition of it and to nobody's surprise, James won, being the star Chaser he was.

"If you hadn't won, I would have been very concerned for the fate of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. But more likely, I would have thought you'd thrown the competition."

He laughed. "Well, I did try losing purposely, but the rock cakes are so small, missing the throw by a lot doesn't really hurt your chances," he said.

"You only missed one!"

"Which should have hinted to you that I threw the game!"

Lily snorted. "Careful, Potter, your head is going to be too large to fit through the hoop soon," she said.

James laughed and followed her back down to the grass.

"You still have to teach me the Patronus," she said, handing him the broom to put away.

"Now?"

"Oh, um, okay. Sure."

"Okay, so the most important thing is to find the happiest memory you can possibly think of and concentrate on that as hard as you can. And once it's all you can think of, say _Expecto Patronum_."

Lily made a face. "Sounds easy enough. Any happy memory?"

"A strong, happy memory. It has to be powerful and all-encompassing."

She nodded and concentrated, and James stood behind her.

"_Expecto Patronum_," she said.

A thin, barely visible wisp of smoke came out of her wand, but dissipated almost immediately. Lily stared at it, obviously not impressed. "It looks like my Patronus is mist," she said.

James snorted. "I'm impressed you managed to get anything at all. My first try, nothing happened. My dad wouldn't stop laughing at me for ten minutes," he said.

"Well, thanks for not laughing," she said, putting her wand away.

"What, that's it?"

"I need to practice and I don't want to do that in front of you."

"Why not?"

"In case that happens again. And besides, it's all about my memory, not any sort of technique, right? So I think I can manage," she said.

"If you say so, Evans. What were you thinking of that time?" he asked.

She gave him a small smile as they began to walk back to the castle. "That's private," she said simply.

"What, seriously? You can't even tell your boyfriend your happiest memory?" he asked.

She shrugged with that smile still planted on her face. "Guess not."

"Is it 'cause Snape is in it?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, of course not," she said. James tried to hide his look of self-satisfaction. "But don't tell me you're jealous of him," she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

"I'm not!" James said, revolted at himself for actually being sort of jealous of that git.

She gave him a knowing look. "You have no reason to be."

"I know. I'm not," he said again.

"Okay," she said, stopping him and putting her arms around his neck. "My memory was when my dad taught me how to ride a bike and we biked around the neighborhood for hours, even though my legs were so tired, and then he bought me ice cream afterwards. It was the best day I can remember and I've never had a day so peaceful since then."

James almost regretted asking her to tell him, feeling like he was invading on her privacy. He couldn't say what he was feeling properly, so he kissed her instead, trying to put all of his emotions into that one kiss.

Lily's cheeks were flushed and there was a small smile on her lips. "What was that for?"

"Thanks for telling me," he said.

She looked embarrassed. "It's not a big deal," she said, releasing his neck and walking. They held hands the rest of the way to the castle.

"It is. It helped me to determine that your Patronus can't be a Grindylow after all. I don't think they have legs to ride bikes," he said.

She laughed and knocked her shoulder into his arm. "How very stag of you to point that out," she said. "What were you thinking about when you cast your Patronus?"

It was his turn to be embarrassed. "It's going to sound extremely trite compared with yours."

"Why? Tell me."

"The first time Sirius and I got away with a prank," he admitted.

Lily had the decency not to laugh. "Which was?"

"Sworn to secrecy. Can't tell, or else, we wouldn't have gotten away with it."

She nodded with a smile. "I like it. It's very James Potter."

"Glad you approve."

"Oh, I don't," she said with a laugh. "But recently my life and emotions have been going through a strange progression, so there are all sorts of conflicting opinions inside my head right now. So I like it, but I don't approve of it."

"Seems exhausting," he said.

"It is exhausting, but it still feels nice. See? It's never boring inside my head this way."

James grinned. "I will never understand you."

She smiled. "Obviously, Potter. Your simple mind would explode if it could take a peek into mine."

"Careful, Evans, your head won't be able to fit through the castle door soon enough," he said as they walked in.

The Halloween Feast was in its final hours, and Lily and James re-entered to get some more dessert to wash out the rock cakes. James watched as Lily laughed at something Remus said, and James smiled. Perhaps it was time to cast another Patronus.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, obviously this chapter has skipped two weeks since their date. And all is well. You know, with Lily and James, not so much for Snape. **

**Anyway, I know not much really happens in this chapter, I just needed a 'filler' from their date and Christmas. So the next chapter will take place from the middle of November until Christmas break. I hope you guys don't mind the jumps, but really, the in-between would just be Lily and James working out the terms of their relationship, and I'd rather focus on more overall things. **

**I'm currently trying to work out the timeline of the events from Lily's pregnancy to the prophecy to the actual Fidelius charm being cast. I think I've got it figured out, but anything you guys might have to contribute would be great. **

**Sorry this chapter is so short compared to the last one. But you should still review 'cause this had a lot a cute moments anyway, and the next chapter is one of my favorites! Review!**


	17. Chapter 17: Bubble of Bliss

**17: Bubble of Bliss**

James didn't think he could live with Lily Evans anymore. The middle of November had brought a chill in the air and a flurry of colds. Lily was one of the victims, which, mercifully for James, meant that there was no physical contact between them.

"She's driving me mad," James ranted to Sirius in the boys dorm at Gryffindor Tower. "I can barely think when she's around and bloody hell, it's like she doesn't even know what she's doing."

"That's 'cause she doesn't," Sirius replied indifferently. He was reading a book, a large book—

"Bloody hell. Are you reading a textbook?" James asked his friend.

"Piss off."

"Why are you reading a textbook?"

"Something for Mary. I thought we were talking about Evans."

"So that's still going on, huh? How's that working out?" James asked with a grin.

"Much better than you and Evans," he replied. "Mary at least knows when she's being a tease."

"Lily isn't being a tease—"

"Yes, she is."

James let out a frustrated groan and sat on his old bed. "It's not her fault."

Sirius laughed. "You're fucking whipped."

"And you're reading a textbook for your—what is she, girlfriend? Friend with benefits? Just the benefits?"

"I don't know, mate, I don't like labels."

"That's a bullshit excuse."

"Well, that's what I told her and she agreed. So there," Sirius closed the textbook and flung it on the floor, grabbing his motorbike magazine instead. "So, is the Tease coming to the Potters' for Christmas?"

"Dunno. Whenever I try bringing it up, she evades it like the bloody plague. I think she's hoping that she'll evade it long enough and then it'll be too late."

"Look, Prongs," Sirius said, looking up from the pages. "You need to just man up and tell her, for Merlin's sake. Stop being a pansy and just do something. If you can't handle living with her, move the fuck out. If you want her to meet your bloody parents, just bring them to King's Cross and force her into their presence. Evans looks like she needs rude awakenings, living inside whatever bubble of delusion she's living in, so it's time for you to just do it, okay?"

James frowned. "What is your problem with her, anyway? I mean, I know you two were never friendly, but the glares you two give each other—it's as if you killed her cat, or something."

Sirius shrugged. "No problems, mate. It's all good."

James shook his head and stood up. "Okay, fine. Just don't kill each other please, because that would really be terrible for me to deal with."

"Then all your problems would be solved, no?" James ignored him and left the dorm, trying to build up the courage to tell Lily what he needed to tell her.

He found her sitting on the couch, reading a textbook. That was a more likely scene than Sirius reading one. She looked up and smiled. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied, still standing at the door as she went back to reading. She was only sitting on the couch, reading in her pyjamas (short shorts and a tank top…in the middle of November, Lil, really? Merlin, she really was trying to kill him.), but James could barely think.

"Why are you standing there?" she asked after a while. She closed her book and looked at him, waiting.

"Um," he said. "It's warm here." That was a lie, it was freezing.

"It's warm here, too," she said, patting the couch cushion beside her. "You look really strange," she said, tilting her head to the side.

Merlin's beard. He couldn't do this. "I'm fine here."

"James, what is wrong with you?" she asked, standing up. He hastily put his hand out.

"Don't move," he said.

She looked confused. "My cold is almost gone. I'm not going to _infect_ you."

"Not because of that. Just—sit down."

She did as he said with a wary expression on her face. "Are you okay? You look deranged."

"Perfectly fine. Just, um, okay. We need to talk about the break," he said.

Lily's face fell and he almost backed out. Damn it! Why was he being such a pansy? "Do we have to?"

"Yes!" he said.

"Okay, fine," she said, leaning back on the couch. "Can you come here and we can talk about it?"

"No," he said firmly and she frowned.

"Fine. Talk."

"Mum thinks we should all have dinner together, your family and mine, sometime after Christmas. I don't want to do that, though."

"Thank Merlin," she muttered under her breath. James pretended not to hear.

"What I propose is that I come to your house straight from Platform 9 ¾ and stay with you for a weekend, like your mum suggested. Then we'll have our respective Christmas celebrations separately and you can come to stay with us during the final weekend, and we'll leave for Hogwarts from my place."

She looked like she was swallowing bat dung. "Okay. That sounds good."

"Really?" James asked, surprised that she agreed so easily.

She nodded. "Really."

"I was expecting more of fight than that, honestly."

"Is that why you're standing all the way over there? 'Cause you were scared I was going to hex you, or something?" she asked, looking amused.

"No, that's not why. But seriously, why were you avoiding it so much if you were just going to agree to it so easily?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I know how much you want to do this, which is madness to me, so I figured I would just get through it. It's only two weekends, right? If I can survive through Slug Club parties and getting Stunned, then I figure I can get through two weekends of families."

"That's the spirit, Evans," he said with a laugh.

She smiled at him. "Can you come over here?"

He swallowed and shook his head. "Can't."

"Are your feet broken?"

"No, I just can't."

"Can you tell me why?"

"Er, I think I may have to move out soon, actually."

"What?" Lily said, surprised.

"This, living together," he said, gesturing between them with his hands, "is getting to be too much for me. I can't…er…think properly—more specifically, I can't stop thinking about _you_, and it's driving me mad. So I think you should just stay on that couch and I'll be out of your hair in a jiffy—"

"Wait, seriously?" she asked. "You're really leaving?"

"Yes," he said, refusing to look at her face in case it made him change his mind. "I think it's for the best for, er, my self-preservation."

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

Merlin. James closed his eyes and counted to ten. Fuckfuckshitfuck. "No, Merlin, you've been doing everything right, which is why I have to leave or else I might combust—"

Her small hands were on his face and he nearly had a heart attack. He kept his eyes closed, refusing to look at her. How was he going to get himself out of this?

"Look at me," she said.

He shook his head. "I can't."

"Why?"

"'Cause then I'll kiss you and then I won't be able to leave."

She giggled and he nearly lost it. She was a tease. A damn, heartless tease.

"Okay. Keep your eyes closed."

He was scared. What was she going to do? He kept his hands firmly to his side as she planted a small kiss on his lips. "Count to ten and then open your eyes. See you tomorrow, Potter," she said, letting go of his face and drifting away, like a dream.

When he opened his eyes, she was gone, the door to her bedroom shut. He sighed, knowing he was doing the right thing, despite the slight disappointment now settling in his chest. He quickly gathered his things and stood outside her bedroom, wondering if he should say something.

He knocked twice on her door and put his face to the crack. "Don't open the door. I'm just here to say goodnight," he said, then added after a thought, "and thanks."

"Night, James," she said, quietly through the door. He smiled and left the Heads Wing.

When he was settled in the seventh years' dorm in Gryffindor Tower, there was an owl waiting for him at the window. He let it in and read the note.

_I wrote my mum about the holidays and she's happy about the plan. Sort of wish we were talking through my door instead of this, but you're right, it's for the best. For the record, I couldn't think properly with you around, either. Night, James. –Lily_

James re-read the last sentence of the note over and over again, occasionally reading _it's for the best_ to remind himself to stay here.

.

James surprised Lily by picking her up in the morning, waiting outside of the Heads Wing.

"Morning," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"Walking you to breakfast," he answered. He put his hands on her face and kissed her, probably too long for a good morning, but she wasn't complaining. When he finally let her go, she was feeling a bit flush and her mind was a bit jumbled.

"Morning," he said, a stupid grin on his face. "I wrote my mum this morning about the new plan."

"Okay," she said, still trying to gather her wits. "Okay, right."

"Are you all right?" he asked, knowingly.

She scowled at him. "Yes, fine."

"Okay," he said, grinning again. "I enjoyed your note last night," he said conversationally.

She had regretted sending it the second Minerva had flown off. Stupid, admitting that she couldn't think properly with him around…evidently she couldn't think properly with him gone, either. Merlin.

"Which note?" she asked, trying to pass it off as an errant thought that she had decided to send him, something of no importance.

"This one," he said, whipping it out of his pocket. She groaned internally. He bloody kept it?

"Are you some sort of hoarder?" she asked him.

He just grinned. "Only of important things," he said, putting it back in his pocket.

"So, how does this work?" she asked. "We don't live together anymore, but everything else is the same?"

"Yup, that's the idea," he said. "Problem?"

She shook her head. "But what about the holidays, then? We'll be living together then, no?"

James laughed awkwardly. "Well, I'm pretty sure the looming presence of parents will be enough to stop us from doing anything too…disorderly."

She snorted at his word choice. "Disorderly, nice."

"Would you prefer if I said—"

She covered his mouth with her hand and she could feel him smile under it.

"That's what I thought."

They went their separate ways at breakfast and Lily let out a breath when she sat down.

"You and James seem cozy," Mary said as a greeting. "Have you two 'done the deed' yet?" she whispered with a curious smile.

"No!" Lily said. "That's none of your business, anyway," she said.

"Oh, come on, Lil! You've been dating for almost a month now—"

"I'm just waiting for the right time," she said, blushing. "Besides, he moved out of the Heads Wing," she said.

"What? Why?" Alice asked.

"He thought it would be for the best, since we're together now—"

"You two basically have your own shag pad in the middle of school—"

"Don't call it that!" Lily said, almost hysterical. "Bloody hell, Mary!"

Mary grinned. "If Sirius and I had that—"

Lily silenced her friend with her wand as Alice rolled her eyes.

"So, how have you been, Alice?" Lily asked, ignoring Mary's desperate hand movements for attention.

"Fine, Lily," Alice said.

Mary got out some parchment and began scribbling on it. She held it up. _Let me talk! And Alice, stop beating around the bush and tell her!_

"Tell me what?" Lily asked, looking at Alice.

Her round-faced friend blushed and smiled. She held out her left hand and Lily looked at her fourth finger, gasping and grabbing Alice's hand.

"Merlin, congratulations, Alice!" Lily squealed, hugging Alice from across the table.

"Thanks!" she said, beaming.

"Tell me what happened! How did he do it? Please don't tell me it happened after I left dinner last night—"

"No, it was much more intimate than that. It was last night, after curfew, so I was a bit nervous, but he insisted, so I agreed. He took me to the Kitchens—have you ever been there? It's amazing, I don't know how anyone would even find that in the first place—"

"Alice! Focus!" Lily said, snapping her fingers.

"Sorry! Yes, so he took me to the Kitchens and ordered us some ice cream and pastries and all sorts of delicious foods. And then, just as I was about to eat my second sundae, he got down on one knee and told me how much he loved me and asked me to marry him," Alice said, grinning.

"Alice! I'm so happy for you and Frank!" Lily said, wiping a tear from her eye. "You two will be so great together. And kudos to Frank! That's a damn near perfect proposal!"

"It was thanks to Mary," Alice said.

"What?" They both turned to their silent friend, who was fuming. "Right," Lily said, flicking her wand as Mary let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Finally," she said.

"What did you tell Frank?" Lily asked.

Mary smiled. "I may have hinted at the location of the Kitchens and that Alice may prefer a more private encounter…"

Lily laughed. "You're a good friend, MacDonald."

"Correction. I am a _great_ friend. Which is why I don't appreciate this silencing going on. Very unappreciative," she said.

"Then please don't talk about what you and Sirius get up to while I'm trying to eat," Lily said.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Alice, Mary and Lily spent the rest of their breakfast discussing wedding plans and boys. It was all very mindless and relaxing.

.

Severus passed by the compartment Lily and Potter were sharing on the train and he forced himself to keep moving, gritting his teeth. He was returning home for Christmas against his better judgment, but he was going to meet the Dark Lord, so he figured it couldn't be all bad.

He could finally discuss with the Dark Lord of the uses of Dark Magic in order to unite the wizarding community. Sev knew that the Dark Lord was the only one who understood the importance of the Dark Arts and how it could be used to unify—

"Severus, in here," Regulus said, opening the compartment door for him. He stepped inside, nodding at Avery and trying not to glare at Mulciber.

"Once you arrive home, Snape, it's probably best that you clean up a little and get your mother out of the house."

Snape flinched. "Why?"

Regulus smiled. "You'll find out tonight. And I guess, unless you want severe harm to come to your Muggle father, you should get him out of the house as well, although I'm sure the Dark Lord would be very much interested in meeting him," he said with a snarl.

Mulciber and Avery guffawed like baboons and Severus made no reaction. "He won't be a problem," he told them. Tobias Snape hadn't lived in Spinner's End in years.

"That's disappointing," Regulus said. "But no matter. Be ready by eight."

"The Dark Lord, is he—" Sev tried thinking of a way to say this without sounding ridiculous, "—is he making a house call?"

Regulus' grin grew wider. "Be ready by eight. Now get out. The smell of your hair is getting to me."

Snape exited the compartment and tried to calm himself. He saw James Potter leaving Lily's compartment, kissing her at the door and then ruffling his hair and saying something to her as she blushed. Severus wanted to look away, but his anger was planting him in his place, unable to do anything but be forced to watch this torture.

Potter turned towards him, stopping when he saw Severus staring. Lily had already returned to the compartment, not seeing him standing there. Potter raised an eyebrow.

"Lurking, Snape?"

Snape's fingers itched inside his pocket, millimeters from his wand. Potter mimicked his actions, getting ready to retaliate in case Snape made a move. He closed his hand into a fist instead and withdrew from his wand. There were too many witnesses, and besides, he knew Potter was quicker than he was.

Potter smirked at Severus, infuriating him beyond belief. He opened the compartment door again and Sev could hear her voice.

"Back already?"

"Yeah, there's something nasty out in the hall, so I'm just going to wait until the Trolley Witch comes by—" he said, closing the door.

Sev returned to his compartment and closed his eyes, preparing for whatever it was the Dark Lord would require of him. He was prepared to do anything.

.

"You're going to break my hand," James told her casually as they waited at King's Cross Station for Lily's family to pick them up.

"Sorry," she said, letting go and crossing her arms over her chest.

James wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple. "Don't be nervous, Evans, they're going to love me," he said with a cocky grin.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Remember, no magic in Cokeworth. Mum still isn't used to it and 'Tuney will combust if you even take out your wand in front of her. Do not mention Hogwarts or magic or Quidditch or—"

"Relax, Evans! You already told me this!"

"Yes, and then you got distracted—"

"_I_ got distracted? I believe _you_ were the one to start kissing _me_—"

"Yes, and then you left abruptly—"

"Because you were kissing me and we agreed—"

"Shit! Petunia's here. Your magic stops here, Potter. Don't say I didn't warn you," she said, pulling her trunk forward to the car that just pulled in.

James peered into the glass and metal box that the Muggles used for getting around. He'd never been outside of Platform 9 ¾ since he always Apparated back home with his parents once the train stopped. He'd seen cars before, but he'd never been in one. It seemed tediously slow.

"Don't look her directly in the eye," Lily warned as she made her way around the back to put their trunks away. Petunia didn't get out of the car. From what he could see, she was blonde, fairly tall, and had a very thin, long neck. It was difficult seeing the resemblance between the two sisters.

"You're over-exaggerating," he said.

"Trust me, I'm not."

Lily and James sat in the back seat and Lily showed him how to use the seatbelt as Petunia remained quiet, a sour expression on her face. James caught her eye in the mirror, but she quickly looked away before he could introduce himself.

"Petunia, this is James. James, my sister Petunia. Thanks for picking us up," Lily said.

"I didn't have a choice," Petunia said stiffly.

Lily gave James an 'I-told-you-so' look, but he ignored it. "Nice to meet you, Petunia. I'm James. I've heard a lot of great things," he said, extending a hand to the front seat. She ignored it and started the car. James glanced at Lily, who was masking her eyes with her hand and cringing. Right. James sat back on his seat and looked out the window.

The hour car ride was the most uncomfortable hour James had ever spent. Lily refused to speak to him and Petunia was driving unbearably slow. Not to mention he would flinch every time there was a bump or Petunia stopped at a light. He didn't like cars very much, he decided. Too choppy.

"You know," James tried. "This getting around business would go a lot faster if cars could fly," he said.

Petunia looked as if a vein was going to pop in her forehead and her knuckles went white against the steering wheel. James looked at Lily, who was stifling her giggles behind her hand.

"What?" he asked, smiling at her. "I wasn't kidding. I was being completely serious. I wouldn't mind cars if they could fly," he reiterated.

She stopped trying to hide her laughs as Petunia turned fuchsia. "I know you were being serious," she said between giggles. "That's why it's so funny."

James knew she was making fun of him, but he didn't care. At least she was laughing and speaking to him. That made this car ride at least slightly better, right? Except Petunia probably thought he was insane.

Cokeworth was a small, grey town with rows of identical houses. There was a lone park where James tried to imagine Lily playing as a child, but he couldn't. This town seemed so dull, but Evans was the exact opposite of that. It seemed sad that she had to grow up in such a desolate place when she was so vibrant and full of life.

"What?" she asked when she caught him staring at her.

"Nothing," he said with a smile, glad that she had turned out so wonderful despite living in this depressing town.

"Okay, weirdo," she whispered, smiling back.

Petunia pulled into the driveway of a house that was indistinguishable from the rest.

"Very nice house," James said when they got out of the car.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I know what you're thinking."

"Yes, because I just said it out loud," he said.

She narrowed her eyes at him and pulled out their trunks from the back of the car.

"Oh, hello!" Mrs. Evans said, coming outside and shaking James hand. She was shorter than Lily, with the same blonde hair as her first daughter. He gave her his best smile and she blushed. "Oh my, Lily, well done," Mrs. Evans said discreetly to Lily, which James pretended not to hear. "I'm Lily's mum, Grace."

"James Potter," he said. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans."

Petunia groaned and stomped inside. Lily smirked at James, who winked at her when her mum wasn't looking.

"Hi Mum," Lily said, giving her mother a hug. "How are you?"

"Great, darling. So glad you're home. Come, come, let's get you two settled. James, sweetheart, you'll take the guest room."

James, Lily and Mrs. Evans had tea and biscuits after putting their luggage away in their rooms, and James knew he was right. Mrs. Evans adored him. Lily was giving him a complacent smile that he returned whenever Mrs. Evans was distracted. He knew he was a charmer and he was damn proud.

.

"Okay, Mum, you've bothered James enough now. We want to rest before dinner," Lily said, standing from the couch.

"Nonsense, Lil. I'm fine to chat some more," James replied.

"Oh, no, no, James. Lily is right. You should rest. Besides, I need to run a few errands, so go on ahead," Mrs. Evans said.

Lily pulled James upstairs and wished that Petunia would leave the house with her mum as well. Not that she was planning on doing anything…_disorderly_, she just preferred that no one be home when she did them.

Oh, shut up.

"Doors open, Lily!" her mother yelled up the stairs. Lily groaned as James chuckled behind her.

"Can I see your room?" James asked her. She pulled him into her bedroom and left a tiny crack open. What? It was still _technically_ open.

James _tsked_ her. "Naughty, Evans. In a house full of people?"

"It's only Petunia. Mum's leaving soon, so she won't even know."

James grinned and then looked around her room. "Purple, hm. Didn't peg you for a purple kind of girl."

"That's 'cause it's lilac," she said, sitting down on her bed. James picked up one of her stuffed bears and inspected it.

"Lilac, right. What's this guy's name?" he asked her.

"Bear," she said, smiling at him.

"Very original, Evans," he said, fake-impressed with her name choice. She laughed and took Bear out of his hands.

"It's weird seeing you in my childhood bedroom," Lily said, watching him look at her pictures and bookshelf. Her heart swelled and she could barely contain the feelings that were going through her right now.

"It's weird seeing pictures that don't move," he said, picking up a frame and holding it close to his face. "Doesn't it frustrate you?"

She laughed again and lay back on her bed. "It's a Muggle picture. They don't move."

"Hogwarts must have been a shock then," he said, sitting beside her on the bed.

"Not as shocking as how rude spoiled little wizard boys could be, on my first day of school," she said, looking up at him with a smile.

He grinned at her and gave her a small kiss. He leaned back on his elbow. "We'll teach our kids not to behave so despicably," he said.

"Our kids?" Lily asked, slightly breathless.

"Don't tell me you don't want kids, Evans."

"I—of course I do. But in the future. We're only seventeen—"

"Obviously in the future!" James said with a laugh. "Merlin, I know we're lying on a bed right now, but there's no need to get ahead of ourselves!" he teased.

She hit him in the stomach and he barely flinched. "Mum seemed to like you," Lily said.

"I told you she'd love me," he said. "Everyone loves me!"

"Petunia doesn't," Lily said with a smirk.

"But to be fair, she doesn't seem like a person who likes a lot of people to begin with," he argued.

"That's true," Lily said.

He sat up and continued to look around. He found her pile of quills that she had forgotten to discard from last year and held one up. "You have broken quills everywhere. What is that about?"

She shrugged. "I collect a new pile every year," she explained. "That one was from last year."

James gave her a look. "Why?"

She sighed. "It's stupid, but after every year, I count up how many broken quills I have and use that to judge whether or not that was a good year. The more quills, the worse the year. Then I promise myself that the following year, I will break less quills."

"How many last year?"

She made a face. "Twenty-nine."

James swore. "That many?"

"It was a pretty bad year," she said.

"And this year? How many so far."

"Only five."

"Let's hope it stays that way," he said. "Hey, Evans. Can we take a Muggle photo?"

"What? Why?" she asked. "I thought you said it was frustrating."

"Yes, but we don't have any pictures together. And I don't have a wizard camera on me right now. Besides, it might be sort of nice having a photo that doesn't talk back or say snarky things or disappear for lengths at a time. It seems more permanent that way. Also, knowing you, I'm sure your picture would constantly insult me and I would rather one that just smiles like she actually likes me."

She laughed. "Okay, fine. Stay here."

Lily ran to get her dad's camera from his old study. It was musky and stale in the room, and she suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness that her father was no longer here and he couldn't meet James. He would have been stern and cold towards James at first, because he was Lily's father after all, but she knew he would have come to love James as a son as well. She missed him so badly.

"Evans?" James said, knocking on the door. She quickly wiped at her tears.

"Shit. I thought I told you to stay there," she said, trying to mask her raspy voice.

"I did, but you were taking awfully long to find a camera…I could have made a wizard camera in that time—are you okay? Why are you crying?"

She smiled, holding up the camera and still trying to wipe the errant tears from her face. "Got it. We can go back now."

"Lily," he said, wrapping her in his arms. She closed her eyes and pressed her face into his chest. "Why are you crying?"

She sighed. "Just wish you could have met my dad. He would have _hated_ you," she said.

James chuckled and she could feel his chest vibrate. "I wish I could have met him too. You have his smile."

Lily took a deep breath of his smell and wrapped her arms tighter around his torso. "I'm glad you're here," she said.

"So am I. Obviously looking for a camera is a two-person job," he said.

"That's not what I meant," she said, laughing. Lily let him go and snapped a picture of him while he was unprepared. He probably still looked marvelous.

"Okay, Evans, let's do this," he said, holding out his hand for the camera.

"I can't now. I've been crying, my eyes will look red."

"You look perfect, now give me the bloody camera," he said.

"Can't we just wait an hour?"

"Merlin, no!" James said, laughing. "Give it! We're doing this now."

She gave him the camera and fitted herself under his arm as he stretched his other one out, holding the camera in the air. "Ready?" he asked.

She nodded and he smiled. "Okay, one, two, three—"

Lily reached up and kissed his cheek as the flash erupted.

"How dare you ruin our picture?" he said, turning to her with a scandalized expression.

"I made it better," she said with a shrug. "We can take another one if you really want," she said.

"Yes. And this time, no moving, you hear me? I want it to be as Muggle and frozen as possible, so not even the possibility of movement going on."

"You're such a strange person."

"And you're dating me, so what does that say about you?" he replied.

"Obviously that I should leave you immediately," she said. He gave her a kiss before posing for their completely-Muggle-non-moving picture.

They returned to her bedroom and soon fell asleep on her bed. She woke up with James' arm around her waist. His glasses were crooked on his face and she smiled.

"Lily! Could you come down here?" her mum yelled from downstairs.

James stirred awake and she quickly got out of her bed, fixing her hair and her clothes. James sat up groggily.

"Coming, Mum!" She turned to her boyfriend and smiled at his disoriented look. "Come down in two minutes. And make sure you look like you didn't just wake up from sleeping in my bed," she said to him. He nodded and she closed the door to the bedroom on her way out.

"Mum," Lily said when she came downstairs. "Everything all right?"

"No, actually," she said sadly. "Mrs. Peters—you know Mrs. Peters, don't you?" she said.

"Yes, of course."

"Well, her son just died—"

"Oh, no! How old was he?"

"Only a few years older than you, dear. Anyway, I ran into Mrs. Peters at the store, and she was a complete mess, so I told her I would come over and cook her dinner."

James came down the stairs, looking like he'd just woken up. She frowned at him and he shrugged at her without her mum seeing.

"Did you have a nice rest, dear?" Lily's mum asked him, giving him a smile.

"Very nice," he said. "The guest room is very comfortable."

"Glad to hear it, James. Anyway, I was just telling Lily that I won't be able to make dinner because I need to be with a friend."

"Oh, that's no problem, Mrs. Evans. Lily and I can just find something here to eat—"

"Nonsense! You and Lily can still go to dinner with Petunia. You just need to wait until Vernon arrives—"

"What? Vernon is coming?" she said.

"Lily," her mother chided. Obviously she hadn't hidden her disappointment enough. "He's your future brother-in-law, you shouldn't behave like that, especially in front of our guest."

"Mum, I'm sorry, but Vernon and I have nothing in common—"

"That's not true. You both love Petunia, that's something, isn't it?"

Lily refused to answer and her mother gave her a poignant look. "You're going to dinner with Petunia and Vernon. End of discussion. It will be like a double date," her mum said, adding in a smile as if that would make it less like torture.

"Sounds like fun," James said with a smile that she could tell was fake, but her mum couldn't.

"Exactly, James! Now, why can't you be more positive, Lily?"

"Have you told Petunia that you're abandoning us?" Lily asked.

"I'm not abandoning you," her mum said, frowning. "And no, I haven't told her yet. You can do that. I have to go to Mrs. Peters' now if I'm going to make dinner on time—"

"Mum, if it doesn't come from you, she's never going to come. Please, just tell her before you leave."

"Fine, dear Lord. I will never understand why you and your sister can't get along…" her mother said as she went upstairs to tell Petunia the terrible news.

"Oh, Merlin," Lily said, collapsing onto a chair. "Why is this happening?" she said.

"It's not going to be that bad," James said, sitting across from her.

"Can I pretend to be sick? Do you think she'll buy that? Quickly, pull out your wand and stun me, or something! Hex me!"

"You need help, Evans," James said. "I'm not going to hex you just so we don't have to go to dinner with your sister! Bloody hell!"

She groaned and put her head on the table. "You're a terrible boyfriend," she whined.

James laughed. "I promise to make dinner fun. Come on, Evans! Did you forget that I'm a Marauder? I can do anything."

"You're such a narcissist."

"And you're mad, so we're basically a perfect match."

The doorbell rang and Lily shot her head up. "Last chance, Potter!"

"Stay away from me, crazy lady!" he replied. She stuck her tongue out at him as her mother came running down the stairs.

"Hello, Vernon, come in," Lily's mother said, ushering in her future son-in-law. "You remember Lily," she said, ushering Lily into the sitting room.

"Yes, hullo, Lily," Vernon said, looking nervous at her. She smiled as menacingly as she could. James shook his head minutely at her, like he disapproved. Psh. Like he never wanted to fake-sick to get out of something.

"And this is Lily's boyfriend, James Potter," her mum said, introducing James. "They go to school together."

James smiled easily and shook Vernon's hand. She always knew James was thin, but he looked almost invisible standing next to Vernon. Vernon nodded apprehensively at James, obviously noting that she and James went to the same school, meaning her and James both suffered from 'that condition' that made them unsafe to be around other, normal people.

"Vernon Dursley, how do you do?"

"Fine, thanks," James replied with an enormous smile. It was full of potential and Lily could almost see the cogs spinning in his head.

"Petunia will be down in a minute. You three can get acquainted," her mother said, beaming at them and returning to the kitchen.

"Hey, Mum," Lily called back. "Shouldn't you be leaving now?" She thought that maybe if her mum left now, her and Petunia could work out some sort of deal and simply _tell_ their mum they went to dinner together, but really, her and James could have the house to themselves…

"No, I'll see you four off before heading off to Mrs. Peters'," her mother called from the kitchen. Damn.

James shot her a 'Nice-try' look, which she ignored.

Petunia came downstairs with a sour expression on her face. Lily understood what she was feeling and would have felt sympathetic if she didn't feel so horrible for herself already.

"Hello, Vernon," Petunia said, giving Vernon a small peck on the cheek. Lily looked away, embarrassed of that little display of affection from her sister. It was strange and cold and _so Petunia_ that Lily couldn't stare at it too long without feeling sick.

"You two make a splendid couple," James said. He sounded genuine, but Lily couldn't be sure. Petunia sure didn't believe him, considering the glare she directed at him. Vernon just stared with narrowed, suspicious eyes at Lily. She smiled pleasantly back.

Their little bubble of bliss had officially been popped.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay, Petunia scenes! The next four or so chapters are very eventful and fast-paced for both relationship stuff and war stuff. I'm really excited to post them. I hope the jump in time wasn't too disorienting for anyone.**

**So, I've finished writing the story. It's 28 chapters total. The last few chapters are more like snippets of certain, important events since Lily and James joined the Order and they move very, very fast, often skipping months in between each scene. The reason why I did that was because it seemed repetitive to detail ALL the things they would be doing, and the Death Eaters were getting boring, so I decided to skip to just the important parts of their lives after Hogwarts. If you get confused, I tried adding in dates and months and such to help you out, but if you're still confused, don't be afraid to review and ask questions once those chapters are posted. **

**"But if the story's done, why don't you post all the chapters at once?!" Well, because they're really rough and I need to edit. I will most likely be keeping with this posting period of every couple days, so the story will be all out by August. **

**Let me know what you guys think about the plan. Not that I'll be changing it much now, but I'd still like to know, haha. **

**Review, lovelies!**


	18. Chapter 18: Freak

**18: Freak**

Vernon, Petunia, Lily and James were all going out to dinner. Wonderful. Lily warned James this visit with her family would be tough and he'd probably hate it, but he didn't expect her to be right. His girlfriend tended to exaggerate a lot, but so far, dinner was going exactly as she had predicted.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked as he sat right next to her in the car, sitting in the middle of the backseat. "Sit over there," she said, pointing to the window behind Petunia in the passenger seat.

"But then there'll be an entire seat between us," James said.

Lily smiled. "It's a short car ride, James."

He shrugged and stayed put. "I sat there last time and I regretted it, so this time, I'm going to sit here."

"Fine. Don't complain when you go flying through the windshield if Vernon stops too abruptly," she said before the Large Muggle and Lily's sister got into the car.

"Will that happen?"

"Dunno, Potter. Sit over there and we won't have to find out," she said, feigning indifference for his safety.

James wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "You wouldn't let that happen, would you, Evans? You'd slow me down with a charm or something."

She kissed him on the nose with a small smile. "You wish, Potter. I'd be safe with my seatbelt on so I wouldn't be concerned with flying bodies."

James smiled and gave her a kiss. They broke apart when Vernon entered the car with a hefty grunt.

The Large Muggle was driving them to the restaurant. This car felt far more confined than the other one. James was never claustrophobic, but driving around in a metal box was extremely confining compared to the freedom of flying on his broom.

"Are you okay?" Lily whispered, gripping his hand as Vernon stared at them through the mirror.

"Chipper. How about you?" he lied, squeezing her hand and kissing her on the temple. He wondered if she could tell how anxious this metal box was making him. He tried not to flinch as they ran over a particularly bumpy bit of road.

"Wonderful," she answered sarcastically, leaning her head against his shoulder. He let go of her hand so that he could put his arm around her shoulder.

"Do you know how far it is?" James asked quietly, trying his best to keep his anxiety at bay. Motorcycles he could deal with, if properly motivated. Cars, however, were a deal-breaker. He prayed to Merlin Lily would never want this sort of conventional Muggle life in their future. He didn't think he could ever see himself driving their kids around in this. He'd rather carry them around on his back and walk.

His girlfriend saw though his pretense and squeezed his knee. "We'll be there soon. Want me to distract you?" she offered, turning her face up to his with a smile.

He grinned and flicked his nose with hers. "Lily Evans, in a car filled with your family members? I'm shocked."

"Shut up," she said against his lips.

He didn't need to be told twice. He dropped his lips against hers and pulled her closer to him in the small space of the backseat—

Vernon cleared his throat loudly, aghast. James broke apart, sighing against Lily's lips, and he could feel the smile on her face. She did this purposely. The troublemaker. She was much more devious than he could have imagined. All of that false rule-abiding Head Girl act was just that—an act.

He took his arm from her waist and put it back into her hand in her lap. He turned to the front and gave the Large Muggle a fake grin as they were stopped at the light that directed traffic. Petunia was sitting stiff-necked in the front seat. He thought he saw her blushing. The Large Muggle probably never gave her any sort of attention. It was a shame. If Vernon just loosened ol' 'Tuney up a bit, James was sure she would glow almost as much as Lily did.

"So, Vernon," James said. "What model is this, er, car?" James asked, conversationally. Lily played with his fingers, running her thumb pad along each of his fingernails, barely listening to the conversation. It took him extra concentration in order to ignore her playful distraction.

The Large Muggle's mustache twitched and his face turned into something like pride. Pride over this hunk of metal?

"Ford Cortina, 1978. Newest model. Others are supposed to get it in the New Year, but I managed to snag one before then."

Huh. That meant nothing to James. From what he could see, half of the cars on the street were Ford Cortinas. It seemed easy enough to get a hold of one if half the Muggle population drove the same model. His Nimbus, on the other hand…

"You know, Vernon, I have a vehicle as well. It's a bit smaller than this one, but it's fast," James said. Lily looked up at him, concerned, but James just winked at her. "Meant for racing."

"Really?" Vernon said, his eyebrows furrowing into the middle of his face like giant caterpillars. "What's the model?"

"It's called the Nimbus 1500. Fastest broomstick you can find. Just ask any one of Lily's friends. I bet I could race you against this, er, Ford Corinta, with my racing broom and you wouldn't even see me coming."

The Large Muggle's eyeballs looked like they were about to burst and Lily was sitting as still as a lake beside him, her fingers like vices on his hand. Too much? Lily told him that the Muggle knew about magic, but was this too far?

"Broomstick?" he sputtered out of his mustache-rimmed mouth. His triple chins trembled in anger. "You think a _broom_ could—"

"Oh, look!" Lily exclaimed. "We're here. Thank Merlin," she added under her breath.

Vernon parked the car, roughly, because of his anger, and James followed Lily out of the car with a relieved breath. He only allowed Lily the momentary separation as they both needed their hands to get out of the car, but as soon as he was out, he took her hand again and gave her a small kiss. When James looked up, Petunia averted her eyes as Vernon struggled with his keys.

"Pity you have to lock your vehicle like that. My broom is charmed to only go with me on it, so no can steal it," James added.

Vernon's face went an unpleasant shade of purple. "_That's because no one wants to steal a broomstick!_"

He heard Lily's snort of amusement that passed unnoticed by Petunia and Vernon, and he smiled internally. He would make it his mission to make this dinner as amusing as possible for Lily. And the easiest way to do that was pushing Vernon to his limits. It was like watching a balloon about to pop from being overheated. Plus, he was interested in discovering all the different shades of purple Vernon's face could turn. It was like testing out an angry chameleon's range of colors.

They sat down in the middle of the restaurant at an uncomfortably small table for four. The only advantage was that he could maintain physical contact with Lily, even though Vernon's large face was all James could see in front of him. So far, the conversation was as lively as Petunia's flat hair and James stared at the menu for something else to look at besides Vernon.

James would never had set foot inside this place if he had the choice, but Lily seemed familiar with it, so James let her order for him. He missed the loud atmosphere of the Broomsticks. All he saw here were boring Muggles from the suburbs and James felt sad for Lily. She was like a flame being forced into a jar and suffocated of life. Looking at her now, he could tell she was suffering.

Lily placed their orders to the waiter, who gave Lily a strange look that didn't go unnoticed by James. He looked frightened and disdainful, at the same time. Petunia looked smug and Lily looked miserable. He would ask her about it later.

"So, Vernon. Lily tells me you work in London. What do you do?" James asked after the waiter left. He wanted to see how quickly he could get a rise out of Vernon for Lily's sake. She was fidgeting with the tablecloth.

Vernon _humph_ed. "Junior Executive at Grunnings. We manufacture drills."

"Hm," James said nodding absently. "And Petunia," he said with a smile. Lily's sister looked affronted to be addressed so casually. "That's where the two of you met?" he asked. Lily looked up from her fingers.

"Yes," Petunia responded coolly.

"Where did you go for your first date?" James asked. Lily's ears perked up in interest.

"None of your business, Potter," Vernon huffed, already turning a delicate shade of peony-purple.

James smiled. "Petunia? Was it somewhere as nice as this place?" James asked.

She put her nose in the air and refused to answer. Lily already seemed to be more relaxed. He knew it was morally wrong to make fun of people to make yourself feel better, but Vernon and Petunia were almost too easy as targets. Besides, Lily didn't seem to like Vernon very much anyway.

"Petunia tells me you don't have a job, Potter," Vernon said venomously.

"That's because we're still in school, Vernon," Lily replied sharply.

James shot her a look saying it was all right. He didn't feel the need to defend his position, especially not to someone like Vernon, who wouldn't understand anyway. "Actually I don't. I probably won't even take an official job once I'm out of school either," he said. Lily gave him a curious look. He hadn't told Lily about accepting Dumbledore's offer about the Order, but it was a good a time as any.

"How will you make a living then?" Vernon said, eyes narrowing.

"I'll take a couple years off and then find something I truly enjoy doing. My professor actually offered me a temporary job after I graduate and I'm thinking about taking it."

"Really?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. Sorry for not telling you earlier," he said, shooting her an apologetic smile.

"No, that's okay. I just—wow. That's a big deal, no?" she asked, nodding to absorb the information.

"Will this, er, _professor_ be paying you for this _temporary_ job?" Vernon asked with reproach.

"We haven't discussed it, but it's unlikely. It's not exactly 'above the books', if you know what I mean," James said with a wink that wasn't appreciated by Vernon. Both he and Petunia looked scandalized. But James just kept going. "Money's not an issue though because my parents gave me a bank vault full of Galleons when I turned seventeen, so I, and my future family, can live off of that for the rest of our natural lives," James said, giving Lily a meaningful look. She smiled faintly and looked down at her hands again.

Vernon, on the other hand looked outraged. James wasn't even trying to get a rise out of him that time, but obviously anything James said could get him angry.

"What about that magician business? I thought you did that in school?"

"Magician?" James looked at Lily, who just bit her lip to keep from laughing. "No, no. It's _wizard_. I'm a wizard, not a magician."

Vernon looked like he was going to explode.

"But yes, I think I understand what you're saying. I can make a living out of the _wizard_ things that I do, but I will essentially be unemployed."

"Unemployed? You'll be gaining from unemployment benefits? You think you can live off of _unemployment_—"

"No, no, you misunderstood. I don't need money from the Ministry for being unemployed; I can capably provide for myself because I have a vault full of solid _gold_—"

"Food's here," Lily said as the waiter came back with plates. James noted how the waiter gave Lily a wide berth when putting the plate down in front of her. Lily bit her lip, this time like she was holding in tears instead of holding in her laughs, and James was starting to wonder what the waiter's problem was with his girlfriend.

"Thanks, Marvin," Petunia said. So obviously Marvin knew Petunia, and by default, Lily. Marvin gave Petunia a wide smile and shot Lily a look of fear mixed with disgust. Okay. James needed to have a word with this Marvin character.

He was about to stand from his chair when Lily grabbed his arm. "Leave it," she said sternly.

"What is his problem?" James whispered as Petunia and Vernon began to eat their meals.

"Nothing. I'll tell you later. Let's just eat as fast as possible and then get out of here, okay?" she said desperately, clutching at his arm. "Please."

"Okay," he agreed, picking up his fork and knife and cutting into his steak. Lily stabbed a piece of lettuce from her salad and put it in her mouth.

James wanted to cheer his girlfriend up by making a joke about Vernon eating pork chops and how that could be considered a form of cannibalism, but he didn't think it'd be appropriate with the subject of the joke sitting right in front of him. They remained quiet for a good part of their dinner.

Marvin came back around halfway through James' steak to refill the water glasses and James made sure that the waiter watched his step.

"_Ah_!" Lily exclaimed, dropping her cutlery on the table as the water poured into her lap.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Marvin said with false concern, the water jug was tilted no where near Lily's cup. Other patrons were starting to stare, but James had had enough.

"Oi, what is your problem?" James said, handing Lily his napkin as she tried to wipe her dress of the water. He had almost pulled out his wand, but he remember where he was and reminded himself there were Muggles everywhere.

"I must have missed the glass—"

"Bullshit, you missed the glass—"

"James, leave it, please," Lily said, tears at the corner of her eyes as Petunia and Vernon stared on, a mix of disapprobation and outrage at James' language on both their faces.

"No, I will not leave it," James said, standing from his chair. "Apologize to her, like you mean it."

"I'm sorry," Marvin said, stiffly. He looked a bit frightened. Good. He should be.

"That wasn't convincing, Marvin," James said, extremely tempted to bring out his wand and hex the waiter, but he sternly reminded himself of Lily's warning of no magic when in Cokeworth. Especially not on a Muggle.

"James, _sit down_," Lily said, pulling on his wrist.

"Apologize, Marvin, or we're leaving now."

Marvin stared at James impassively and James saw red.

"James, sit down," she said again, this time cold and empty, unlike the Lily he knew her to be. He looked down at her and found her glossy eyes, empty, staring back at him. This sort of behavior at Hogwarts and she wouldn't have relented until that person was begging on their knees for her forgiveness—

"Petunia, I'm sorry, but you and your guests are going to have to leave now," Marvin said to Lily's sister.

"What?" James said in outrage. "You're kicking _us_ out? You should be the one being kicked out—"

"James," Lily said, so quietly that he almost didn't catch it. It was like Lily was broken, suffocated, snuffed out. James sat down, his legs no longer working at the thought that his girlfriend, possibly the love of his life, was being killed by her sister's terrible influence.

"I knew it," Petunia snarled, standing up with a shocked Vernon in tow. "I knew I couldn't bring a _freak_ like you to dinner without everything going wrong! Forget my wedding or even showing your face near me again, you hear me, _freak_? I only made you bridesmaid because Mum _forced_ me to! Consider that forgotten! Stay away from me!" Petunia shrieked, storming out of the restaurant as James' mouth hit the floor. Lily's tears were flowing freely now, but she didn't make a sound or look up as her sister left. She just looked into her lap and cried as James tried to do something useful.

"Good luck getting home on your _broomstick_, Potter!" Vernon hissed at him before following Lily's sister out of the restaurant.

They drove away as the restaurant patrons began to whisper at the scene that just unfolded in the middle of the restaurant.

"Sir," Marvin said stiffly.

"What?" James snapped.

"You're going to have to leave—"

James was so taken aback at Petunia's hateful outrage that Marvin's extreme rudeness barely registered. Instead, Lily stood from her chair, took out her wallet and left Muggle money on the table. She left without looking back to see if James was following or not. He stood from his chair and followed his girlfriend out of the restaurant, suddenly terrified that he'd made a terrible, terrible mistake and that Lily would never forgive him for it.

.

Petunia gripped her chair painfully as Vernon drove away from the restaurant, leaving her sister and that insufferable Potter boy at the table. She _knew_ this would happen. Her sister was a magnet for trouble. She wasn't surprised at all that she would begin dating a delinquent from her school, one who didn't even plan to _work_ once he graduated. Bank full of—what did he say—_that magic money_ to support his family for the rest of their lives? Please, that was laughable, at best.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Vernon asked, still raving, but looking more fearful at Petunia's rage than anything.

"No, Vernon, _I do not want you to take me home!_" she shrieked. Vernon nodded, his chins bobbing as he drove past her house to the hotel he was staying in.

Lily and her perfect boyfriend. Lily and her perfect friends. Lily and her perfect grades. Lily and her perfect...Lily. Lily, Lily, Lily.

Her mother would be upset about Petunia's decision to remove Lily as a bridesmaid, but she was far past caring. Vernon didn't even have a groomsman for her to walk down the isle with, so Perfect Lily would be walking down the isle alone, smiling that smug little freak smile and her hair would be done up and she would even manage not to look terrible in the pale pink dresses Petunia purposely picked out to make her bridesmaids look worse than she did—

"Where do you want me to drive you, flower?"

"Anywhere! I don't care!"

"Okay."

And then Lily and her handsome boyfriend would obviously be fawned over by Petunia's friends for being so perfect and wonderful together, and no one would even care that he didn't have a job because he was so charming, and wonderful, and _charismatic_, and none of them would even care that _Vernon_ had a perfectly stable job that was guaranteed to have promotion opportunities, and that he had a car and could support her family honestly and not from 'under the books' temporary jobs given by old school professors and—

"We can call your mother from the hotel—"

"I don't care, Vernon!"

"Okay."

And their children will probably have that stupid smug grin of Potter's and he will have that God-awful unruly hair and those sharp, calculating eyes—

"Drive me home, Vernon. I need to pack my things."

.

Lily let her feet guide her as she walked away from Marvin and James. She didn't stop walking until she found herself at the park where she'd first met Severus. She was long past missing her friend now, but he was the only person she knew who wouldn't judge her for having a sister that hated her and being a social pariah in her own home town. James wouldn't understand, always being loved and admired everywhere he went. At least Sev could understand what Lily was going through. As much as she loved—love, _hm_—James, he couldn't understand.

She brushed the snow off her favorite swing and sat down, beginning to swing back and forth slowly. She wasn't surprised when James sat on the swing next to her, without saying anything. She wondered if he was going to break up with her, getting as far away as he could from her and her family. Why would he stay with her when her own family thought she was a freak? This was precisely the reason why she didn't want James meeting her family. Of course her mother was fine, but unfortunately, Petunia still existed.

She wouldn't be surprised if James ended it right now, but it would still kill her. What would she do without James?

They sat there without talking for a while, until Lily's tears stopped flowing. She was always crying in front of James, it was embarrassing. Not quite as embarrassing as the restaurant, but still. She hated that he had to see her like this—little timid Lily who couldn't even stand up to a bully waiter for pouring water all over her dress.

"My chicken was a little dry. How was your steak?" Lily asked, finally, wondering how to breach the topic.

"A bit rude, actually."

Lily smiled at James, who smiled cautiously back.

"Can we pretend like that never happened?" Lily asked, knowing what he would say.

"No."

She sighed. "Sorry."

"For what?" James said, leaving his swing and standing in front of her. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he said forcefully.

"Just a habit. Sorry."

James groaned.

"Okay, that was a bad joke, and I won't apologize for it," Lily said, kicking the snow at her feet.

"If anything, I should be apologizing. I shouldn't have goaded Vernon like that, but it was too difficult not to. It looked like he was going to explode. And when I said I was a wizard and not a magician? Priceless."

Lily cracked a small smile.

"I'm also sorry for not stopping when you asked me to leave it."

She shrugged and continued to kick the snow on from the ground.

She saw James' feet stop in front of hers and his cold hands cupped her cheeks, bringing her face up to look at his.

"I'm waiting," he said.

"For?"

"You to tell me what happened."

She pushed her feet into the ground and pushed the swing backwards. James moved out of the way to avoid being hit by her legs as she swung forward.

"Lily."

"I don't want you to pity me," she said quietly as she swung back and forth past him.

"I won't, just tell me what happened. Why did Petunia say all those things to you? And who the hell is that Marvin guy anyway?"

She continued to swing back and forth until her legs were cramping and the swing-set was starting to shake.

Suddenly, she was moving slowly back down to her normal position and she looked down at James who had his wand out.

"I couldn't stop you any other way without injuring myself," he said with a shrug.

"Put that away, James! It's Cokeworth, not Hogsmeade!" she said, jumping off the immobilized swing and stomping away.

"Lily, what is wrong with you? Are you ashamed of being a witch?" he asked angrily, running after her.

"Yes!" she shouted at him, turning around to face him angrily. Tears were in her eyes again.

"What?" James asked, shock evident on his face.

"Shit, I'm _not_. Of course I'm not," she said, burying her face in her hands and sitting on the snowy ground.

She could hear James' boots crunch in the snow and felt his hands on her shoulders as he sat down in front of her.

"Can you please tell me what's going on?"

"You wouldn't understand. It's a Muggle thing."

"Try me. I think I did well with that car business today, didn't I? I didn't even go through the window, like you said."

She laughed weakly and wiped her face. "James, I'm in love with you," she said without thinking. But once it was out there, she immediately felt better. This wasn't how she planned on breaking the news, but there it was. It was out there now and she couldn't take it back. She had almost said it to him in her bedroom, but she thought that would be a bit awkward, telling her boyfriend she loved him while she was sitting on a bed. "I just thought you should know before, you know, you broke up with me. Not that I'd want to you stay with me because you felt like you had to—"

"Shut up, Lily," James said with an enormous grin. He brought their faces together and he kissed her, making her forget for a moment what they had been talking about. "I'm in love with you, Evans. And I am never breaking up with you," he said, giving her a smile.

"You will, once I tell you about Petunia," she said, sniffing the tears back. For Merlin's sake, how many tears could she produce? She tried to stop her heart from erupting with joy and sadness at the same time; James loved her, but he didn't understand.

James wiped her eyes with his thumbs. "Lily Evans, I will love you even if you called me a freak in the middle of a terrible restaurant, left me to pay the bill, and convinced all my friends that I was a maniac. I will love you even if everyone else in the world is against you, and then we'd be hated together. Okay? So will you stop crying and tell me what is going on?"

His speech just made her weep more. "I'm sorry I'm such a wreck," she said, laughing to stop the tears. "I think I have the record for amount of times a girl cries in front of her boyfriend. Not to mention twice in one day. Merlin, what a terrible idea this was, bringing you here."

"You're not a wreck. Hold on," he said, melting the snow they were sitting on and creating a little circle of warmth around them. "Merlin, I thought my arse would freeze off before you stopped crying."

Lily got a hold of herself and nodded. "I'm sorry, Potter."

"Well, if you told me what was going on, maybe I could stop you from crying the next time and you wouldn't have to apologize for my arse freezing off the next time."

She leaned against his shoulder. "You can't fix Petunia. She's just…cold-hearted."

"I'm guessing her and Marvin are friends."

"They weren't at first," Lily said. "Marvin and I used to be friends, actually."

"I beg your pardon?" James said, retracting away from her to look at her better. "You were friends with that prick?"

Lily smiled. "Before Hogwarts. I was ten, James. Don't hold it against me."

"What happened?"

"Well, when I left, Petunia started to spread these rumors about me, that I was freak and so I had to go to this special school in Scotland because I was a danger to myself and my family. That's why Marvin was being so rude, and even looked scared of me. He thinks I tried to cast some sort of spell on my family and they all got sick, so I was sent away. 'Tuney doesn't say the M-word ever, but _voodoo_ may have been added in there somewhere."

"M-word?"

"_Magic_, James."

"Oh."

"That's why after first year, I stopped coming home on the holidays. Only during the summer, when I was forced to. Dad hated it, but it was better than forcing Petunia and I to get along while I was home. It usually ended up like what you saw in that restaurant. Forcing 'Tuney to pretend to like me is like lighting a stick of dynamite. Eventually you run out of cable."

James didn't say anything for a while and Lily still had the sinking feeling he was prepping to break up with her.

"I'm sorry Petunia is the way she is. She's the one missing out, I promise you. If she could just see what I see, she would realize that her sister is possibly the bravest person she's ever met. And that her sister is smart, like unbelievably so, and entirely skilled with a wand, and capable of healing broken ribs with just the flick of her wrist—"

She smiled, her heart bursting. "That would probably scare her more than impress her—"

"—_and_ that her sister has the sharpest tongue out of anyone in England, and won't let anyone forget that she's the smartest person in the room, but that's what some people love about her sister—" Lily smiled as he continued, "—and the way that her sister never lets anyone get away with anything stupid or dumb, but makes sure that they always do the right thing. And the way that her sister doesn't realize how important they are to some people, and that if her sister ever felt bad about herself, that there were some people who would do anything to make sure her sister never felt that way again, even if that meant her sister would very much disapprove of that someone's actions—"

"James," Lily said with a laugh, putting a finger to his lips. "I'm starting to get confused with all the '_sisters'_ and '_some peoples_'. But thank you," she said, replacing her finger with her lips and kissing him inside their little dome of warmth. "Don't do anything stupid," she warned.

"That's it?" James said. "I list off all the things I love about you and all you can do is warn me not to do anything stupid—"

"You were going to prank Marvin, weren't you?"

"No—"

"James."

"Fine. Maybe. But still. Nothing with magic—"

"If my sister and I were on talking terms," she said, putting a hand on James' mouth again and smiling. "I would tell her about this intolerable boy at school," she said, smiling wider as James frowned. "About how he would always prank me and do mean things, so when he actually asked me out, I thought he was just making fun of me again. He was so annoying, I would actually want to leave the room whenever he walked in—"

"I thought this was supposed to be nice—"

"—but then, one day, he was friendly, like a normal human being, and I would tell Petunia that I started to like him, love him, even. I would tell my sister that this boy would go out of his way to do nice things for me, like carry me to the Hospital Wing when I couldn't walk on my own, or get back at people who wronged me, even if I thoroughly disapproved of that boy's methods. And I would tell her that I always feel safe when he's around, no matter what's happening, and that as long as he's there, I know that he would make sure we were okay. And Petunia would understand that even though she didn't love me like a sister should, I have someone who will be beside me to deal with that. And I think she'd be happy to know that, when it all comes down to it," Lily finished with a smile, removing her hand from his mouth.

James grinned back at her, his eyes swirling with energy. "Poor Petunia. Having to hear about all of our messed up problems."

"It's the most drama she's going to get with a life of being Mrs. Vernon Dursley," Lily said, standing from James' lap and pulling him up from the ground.

"I reckon I probably should have just hexed you back in the kitchen, huh?"

Lily laughed. "What did I tell you, Potter?"

"Next time you ask, I promise to do it," he said, grinning.

"Such a good boyfriend," she said, returning the smile.

"Do you think it's safe to go back to yours now?"

"We can walk around a bit, just in case. And you can buy me ice cream."

"Ice cream? It's freezing out," he said, grabbing her cold hand in his and warming it with his breath.

"Well, lucky for me, I have a _magician_ boyfriend who can conjure up heat with some magic words and fancy wand work."

"I thought there was no magic allowed in Cokeworth—"

Lily and James turned when they heard shouting and yelling. Cold fear ran down her spine like trickles of ice sliding down her back. Time seemed to stop as flashes of green and red went into the sky. She thought she was hallucinating, but James' hard grip on her hand told her she wasn't. To add to Lily's horror, a green skull with a snake protruding from the mouth appeared above it all, seeming to grin at the terror below.

"James!" Lily said.

"Death Eaters," he whispered.

"_Here_?" Lily said, pulling out her wand with stiff, frozen fingers. James did the same.

"Looks like it," he grimaced.

"They cast the Mark," she said. "What does that mean?"

He didn't answer. "How far is your house from here?" James asked instead.

"Five minutes walking," Lily replied. "Two, if we run."

"Okay. You go back and make sure your mum is all right—"

"Forget it. I'm not leaving you here," Lily said, refusing to budge from his side.

"Lily—"

"James. Didn't you say how you loved that I made sure no one did anything stupid? This is stupid. _I'm not leaving you here_."

James stared back at her with a frown, but the Death Eaters were getting closer and there was more shouting—

"Okay. We're going to go up on that hill over there and hide behind some trees until we can see what's going on. Then, once we figure out what the situation is, you're going to Apparate—"

"James—"

"No, listen! You're going to Apparate to Sirius' and get him to call Dumbledore, or someone from the Order and tell them what's happening, and then come right back here, okay?"

"Fine. Let's go."

James and Lily climbed the hill as quietly as they could as the spells began to dwindle and a deathly quiet settled across the park.

"Merlin," Lily whispered when the sight greeted her eyes. A crowd of Death Eaters were gathered around a group of people, Muggles, it looked like, immobilized a few inches above the snowy ground. It looked like a family to Lily's eyes.

Lily believed this was the worst possible scenario her and James could be in. Suddenly, the scene in the restaurant didn't seem so bad.

Lily had thought too soon. Before she or James could move to get help from anyone in the Order, she heard his voice. The voice that she heard on the Quidditch Pitch when the smog hit. It was him, the Dark Lord himself.

"My fellow witches and wizards," Lord Voldemort said quietly. He was barely speaking above a whisper, but Lily could hear him like he was speaking over her shoulder into her ear. "We are gathered here today in charming Cokeworth to welcome four new Death Eaters to our ranks."

There was a rumbling of Death Eaters chanting as the four recruits stepped into the middle of the circle in front of the immobilized family of four. Lily got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She watched in horror as Voldemort approached the dome of bodies.

"Today, they will be put to the test. In order to join our ranks, they will be required to perform one of the three Unforgivables on one of these Muggles." The Death Eaters chanted in unison once again and Lily put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying out.

"James," Lily said. "We have to help them. We have to do something."

"I know. I just—I'm going to get Sirius—"

"James, there isn't time—"

"We have to tell someone—"

"Yes, but—"

"Mulciber! You shall be the first. Pick your Muggle."

Before Lily could finish her sentence, she turned to see one of the four masked recruits step forward toward the bubble. Mulciber.

Their schoolmate drew this wand and pointed it at the young girl, probably not much older than twelve. She was pulled out of the bubble of immobilization and she fell to the ground, crying and hysterical. Lily acted without thinking and ran forward, shooting a silent stupefy at Mulciber, like she had so many months ago.

She was surprised when her curse was quickly deflected by Voldemort, with barely a flick of his wand. Lily was standing there, a large group of Death Eaters staring at her with Lord Voldemort standing before her.

"Well, welcome, young student of Hogwarts. Will you be joining our festivities today?"

"Mulciber, you don't want to do this," Lily said, speaking to her schoolmate instead of facing the fact that she was standing in front of the most powerful dark wizard of all time. "You don't have to do this. Look, I know we've never been friends—"

"Mulciber, do you know this young witch?" Voldemort asked in surprise.

Mulciber spit through his mask onto the ground. "She's a Mudblood named Lily Evans."

"Ah, _Lily Evans_." The way he said her name made her want to curl into a ball and scrape her eardrums down to nothing. "Even I've heard of your great skill as a young witch. Certain loyal fans of yours have even solicited me about your membership. I am usually against those of Muggle heritage, however, I am willing to make an exception. Are you interested in joining the Death Eaters, young Muggleborn?"

The Death Eaters laughed and Lily felt a chill in her bones, but she didn't run or drop her wand.

"Mulciber, please. You can come with me and we can sort all this out, all right? You don't have to hurt anyone." Lily finally noticed that James was not beside her. She could only hope that he had left and gone to get help. She was so out of her league, she felt extremely stupid for thinking she could stop this family from being hurt all on her own.

"I guess that's a no," Voldemort said with a sinister smile. More laughing from the Death Eaters. "Hm. If you don't want to join us, perhaps you can help us in a different way," Voldemort said.

Lily tried to move, but she couldn't, stuck in the same immobilization spell that had the family. She fought with every muscle, every ounce of magic in her blood, but she couldn't as Voldemort guided her bubble around the circle, stopping right in front of Mulciber. Once she was close enough to the ground, he released the spell so that it dropped to her ankles, freezing her in place, but allowing her to move the rest of her body. She could see the red of his eyes, and his pallid skin, hardly resembling a man any longer. He was worse than she could have possibly imagined.

"Any able minded wizard could perform an Unforgivable on a defenseless Muggle," Voldemort started, putting the young girl back in the bubble with the rest of her family. "But only one of my followers is worthy enough to be able to incapacitate a powerful witch, do you not agree?"

The Death Eaters cheered as Mulciber lifted his mask, sneering at Lily as he took steps closer to her. Lily braced herself as Mulciber' mouth moved to say a spell. Where was James?

* * *

**Author's Note: The next chapter is posted already...**


	19. Chapter 19: Strong Enough

**19: Strong Enough**

Fuck. James was screwed. He couldn't leave Lily but he needed to reach Sirius—the mirror! Idiot! Sometimes James could be such an idiot—

"Will you be joining our festivities today?" Voldemort asked Lily. The panic welling up in James' chest was making him clumsy and he almost dropped the mirror in the snow once he got it out of his coat.

"Sirius Black!" he whispered into the mirror. Lily was just standing there below the hill, in front of a dozen Death Eaters and James was hiding behind a tree talking into a mirror! "Sirius!"

"Prongs? Aren't you supposed to be on a romantic getaway with Evans?" Sirius appeared, grinning widely, knowing that a weekend in Cokeworth was far from a romantic getaway.

"Sirius, you need to reach someone from the Order. Anyone. Or Dumbledore, if you can. There are Death Eaters here in Cokeworth and Voldemort is here. Lily just tried to stun Mulciber—"

"Mate, this is lame. It's not even believable—"

"Sirius, I'm not kidding!" James exclaimed as loudly as he could without alerting the Death Eaters to his presence. Lily was talking with the Death Eaters and Voldemort, while James was trying to wrap his head around that paralyzing fact, and his best friend didn't believe him. "Look!" he said, turning the mirror so that Sirius could see what he was seeing. "This isn't a joke. Floo one of your cousins in the Order and tell them! Please! We're in Cokeworth and they've cast the Dark Mark. They have a family of Muggles and they're going to torture and probably kill them. Do you understand? We need help!"

Death Eaters were laughing now and James nearly lost his mind. He looked up and checked that Lily was still standing and alive and then turned back to Sirius desperately.

Sirius finally managed to grasp the severity of the situation and he nodded, standing. "Okay, okay! I'm doing it now, just hold on! Don't do anything stupid, Prongs, someone will be there in a minute, don't do anything, okay?"

"Okay, okay, just tell them to hurry! They have Lily!" James stuffed the mirror into his pocket as the Death Eaters laughed in unison again. James watched in horror as Lily's body was frozen mid-air, Voldemort's wand pointed at her. All he could hear was the sound of his blood pumping through his heart and his own despair at watching her being taken into the middle of the circle, in front of Mulciber. He knew Sirius was calling for help, but there was no telling when they would arrive and that could be too late for Lily—

James sent the strongest spell he could think of silently towards Mulciber. A shot of scarlet light came whizzing from his wand and Mulciber's wand came flying towards James. _Expelliarmus, seriously? That is the strongest spell I could think of?_ he thought to himself before catching the wand easily. Death Eaters turned towards him, sending curses his way, but he quickly dodged them and sent Stunning spells in every direction possible. He needed to get to Lily—

"Wonderful, wonderful!" Voldemort said, clapping his hands together before casting James in his immobilization bubble. No! "And who might this be, Mulciber?"

"James Potter, my Lord."

"James Potter! Aha! We're amongst Wizarding Royalty, my dear friends!" Voldemort said, lifting James' bubble above their heads. The Death Eaters laughed, but James was distracted. Lily was struggling below him, but she didn't have her wand—where was it? He saw it in Mulciber's pocket. He tried countering Voldemort's spell, whatever this was, but it was impossible. He was too powerful and James was only a seventeen-year-old wizard—

"The thing about Gryffindors," Voldemort started, making James' bubble turn around and make the tour around the Death Eaters, "is that they often mistake bravery for stupidity." The Death Eaters cackled as James was stopped beside Lily, put in her exact position, mobile from the ankles up. Voldemort gave Mulciber back his wand from James' pocket.

"I will extend the same invitation to you, James Potter, as I did to Lily Evans. You are of pure blood, and therefore would be a valid addition to our ranks, despite your loyalties. Loyalties can be changed however. What do you say, James Potter? Will you be joining the Death Eaters this fine day?"

James spit on the ground. "Never."

Voldemort's slit-like eyes narrowed as he smiled. "I must admit, a part of me was rather hoping you'd say that. Very well. Let us test out your skills, shall we?" Voldemort says, giving Lily back her wand from Mulciber's robes. "See how much dear old Dumbledore has been teaching you," he said. He turned to the Muggle family and flicked his wand, causing them to disappear. To where, James could only hope was back in their home, unharmed and safe. When they were gone, Voldemort turned to James and Lily and released their ankle bounds, clearing the Death Eaters to form a wider ring around the four recruits and the Gryffindors. "Let us have ourselves a little duel instead, hm?" The Death Eaters cheered around them. "And our new recruits will test their skills with their peers, if you will. They are our future, after all."

Lily and James stared at one another. James was encouraged by the fierce look of determination on Lily's face and knew they could survive long enough until help from the Order came. They were fighting Mulciber and their peers, after all. He had an itching inclination about who the other three Death Eaters were, but he wished he was wrong, for once.

"Unforgivables are encouraged—no, _required_ by my recruits, if they hope to enter into my service," Voldemort said. "Begin."

James couldn't tell what Lily was doing, but as soon as the last syllable left Voldemort's mouth, he shot as many hexes and curses toward the Death Eater who he believed was Snape. The Death Eater skillfully dodged the blows and James used _Levicorpus _as a desperate attempt to land something. The masked Death Eater recruit was thrown up into the air and James grinned. Before he could land something else on Snape, he felt an excruciating pain all over his body and he collapsed on the ground, writhing in pain. He could hear screaming, but it didn't sound like him at all, even though he knew it could only be him.

"Not so tough without my brother around, eh, Potter?" the Death Eater who had him under the Cruciatus said from beside him. Regulus.

He heard Lily shout something and then the pain stopped. Regulus was unconscious on the floor in front of him and Lily was shouting at him to get up.

James scrambled to his feet and watched as Snape pointed his wand at James.

"_Expelliar—_"

"_Crucio!_"

James fell to the ground again as the second Cruciatus hit him. He kept a firm grip on his wand this time and even managed to hold down his screams, even though this curse felt stronger than the last one. Snape really wanted James to suffer more than Regulus ever did—

Suddenly the curse was over and James looked up. Snape was still standing, meaning Lily hadn't stopped him. He had stopped on his own accord. James looked around for Lily and found her a few feet from him, pointing her wand down at him. Mulciber, without his mask, was grinning at James, his wand pointed at Lily. James' stomach sank as he realized what was happening.

"Lily," he said, his mouth dry and raw from screaming. He stood cautiously, watching her blank eyes survey him with her wand pointed at his heart. "Lily, it's me. I know you're in there, you just need to fight it, okay? Please, just fight it—"

"Well done, Mulciber," Voldemort said, watching. James noticed the second Death Eater recruit—probably Avery—lying beside Regulus. Snape was watching stiffly. "Make her kill the Potter boy."

"Lily, no!" James said, taking a step towards her. She kept a firm grip on her wand and her face was still void of any recognition, but he could tell she was fighting by the concentration in her eyes. He put his wand back in his pants as the Death Eaters laughed at his foolish action.

"Lil? It's James. Come on, I can see you working in there. It's just Mulciber! You stunned him into coma for nearly ten hours, remember? You're stronger than he is—"

"Enough, Mulciber, now!"

"My Lord, I'm trying but she's fighting me—"

"Yes, Lily, that's it, keep fighting—"

He was almost in front of her now. The tip of her wand was mere centimeters from his heart. He reached out and grabbed her face, and he could see the conflict brewing behind her eyes. She was staring out at him, immobilized. Sweat was pooling at her hairline and he could feel how tight her jaw was clenched. Her mouth opened the smallest amount—

"_Avad—_"

James did the first thing that came into his mind and he kissed her as strongly as he could. The Death Eaters cackled in delight, but he didn't care. Lily was in there and he was going to get her out if it was the last thing he ever did.

"_Sectumsempra!"_

James let go of Lily's face, feeling the blood drip down his back before he felt the pain. He stared at Lily, suddenly terrified he was going to die here, and watched, feeling relief amidst the fear, as she blinked back to her normal self.

"James?"

"Hey," he said with a weak smile. She was still blinking, unaware of the pain and condition he was in right now. He tried to say something, anything, but the words would not come. All he could do was look at her, fighting to keep his eyes open, just for one moment longer.

"Kill them," Voldemort said with disgust, turning his back in the process of Disapparating.

"No!" Lily said, letting go of James and sending a Stunning spell at Voldemort's back, which he deflected easily. He laughed as James fell to his knees, struggling to stay conscious. "Foolish girl. Thinking a simple Stunning spell will stop me? I am Lord Voldemort—"

"To me, you will always be Tom Riddle."

James kept his eyes open just long enough to see Dumbledore appear like a flash of light before passing out.

.

"James!" Lily cried, running to his side after Dumbledore and the rest of the Order appeared, flashes of light shooting everywhere around her as they began fighting Death Eaters. There was a dizzying amount of curses being thrown through the air, but she didn't care, as long as she could get to James. She hadn't taken more than two steps away from him, but suddenly it was impossible to get to his side. "Help! He needs help, please!" No one could hear her in all this noise.

"Hi, Lily?" a man said, appearing at her side with a kind face. "My name is Gideon, I'm part of the Order. We're going to get you and James out of here, okay?"

"He's hurt—look at all the blood—"

"Which is why we're going to take him straight to St. Mungo's. Do you think you can hold onto my arm? We're going to Apparate with James. You keep a firm hold on him, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

Lily felt the familiar feeling of being pulled through a tube and in front of a department store window. It was dark and there was no one around, so Gideon, conjured a stretcher for James and quickly pulled both of them into the window. He brought them straight into the fourth floor of St. Mungo's where a swarm of Healers immediately encircled James, ripping her hand from his and bringing him to a different room.

"Hey, Lily, it's all right. He's going to be okay—"

"What are they doing to him?" she asked, trying to get past the doors, but being blocked by a charm.

"Everything they can. Do you know what the curse was that injured him? Maybe that can help."

"No, no, I can't remember—"

"Okay, we can go through it later. Here, first, someone's going to take a look at you."

One of the Healers came by and did a quick check-up on Lily. Once he cleared her as healthy, just needing rest, Gideon sat her down on the chairs outside of James' room.

"I don't know what he cursed James with—"

"Take your time. Breathe, Lily. Tell me from the beginning. It's all right. Anything you remember will help us, okay?"

Lily did as Gideon said and tried to focus on the events. She remembered them going for ice cream and then the Dark Mark appearing. Lily began the recount as calmly and accurately as she could as Gideon wrote it all down in his notebook. She told him how she tried to help the Muggle family by convincing Mulciber not to hurt them. Gideon stopped her to ask about the Muggle family, but Lily didn't know where they were. Just that Voldemort made them disappear somewhere. He made note of it and asked her to continue. She told him about how Mulciber was about to use an Unforgivable on her, but James disarmed him and started sending spells into the group of Death Eaters, but Voldemort immobilized him the same as Lily. She told Gideon about being forced to duel with the four recruits. She recalled James terrible, gut-wrenching screams, but she forced herself to stay calm and continue telling Gideon what happened. She told him how she stunned two of the recruits, but then Mulciber got the upper hand and Imperiused her. She could hear his voice in her head, telling her to kill Potter, but she resisted.

"That's extremely commendable, Lily. It's difficult, nay rare, for even a fully-trained wizard or witch to resist an Imperius, but you managed."

"Mulciber is not a very powerful wizard," she responded blankly, empty of all emotion.

"Regardless. Then what happened?"

"James. He—he tried to get me to fight it. He kept telling me to fight it and stepped closer to me even though my wand was pointed at his chest. And then he put his wand in his pocket—"She was overcome with anger and grief at his stupid action. If he lived through this, she was going to kill him—

"It's okay, Lily. We can stop if you want."

"No, no. I'm okay. Then he, um, he kissed me, trying to get me to fight the curse."

Gideon grinned. "I've heard a lot about James Potter. You've got yourself a daring one there, Ms. Evans."

Lily smiled weakly. "Well, it worked. But not until after James let go of me. Then Voldemort told the Death Eaters to kill us and turned, so I sent a Stunning Spell at his back."

"That was very brave."

"No, it was stupid."

"Sometimes they're the same thing," Gideon said with a kind smile.

"That's what he said."

"Who?"

"Voldemort."

"Oh. Hm. Please, continue."

"Then Dumbledore showed up."

"Ah. Okay. So think back. Did you happen to hear what curse hit James?"

"I've never heard it before. It started with an S. I was under the Imperius, so things were a little blurry."

"That's okay, Lily. I think the Healers are almost done with James anyway. It's not uncommon to find that these Death Eaters create new curses, just to test on Aurors."

"How did you find us?" Lily asked him.

"James contacted Sirius Black before he went in to help you. Sirius contacted my brother Fabian and I. Us Prewetts are related to the Blacks through marriage and such. Sirius is some sort of cousin of ours and he knew we were in the Order. So when James alerted Sirius about your situation, he told us. We heard other reports from wizards nearby of a Dark Mark sighting, so we knew where to find you. We told Dumbledore and as many Order members as we could and then got there as soon as possible. I'm sorry it couldn't have been sooner."

"Are you an Auror?"

Gideon winked. "You got that right. My brother is too. He's probably getting everyone rounded up. You and James did extremely well tonight, Lily. We can't wait to get you two on the team."

Lily smiled weakly and turned her head to James' room. The Healers were still working their spells on him, which was making her worry. A gash should not be taking this long to heal! Unless it was cursed…

"Evans?"

Lily turned her head and her eyes rested on a familiar face. "Sirius!"

They were not on the greatest terms, but she didn't care at this point. Any familiar face that was not a Death Eater was a welcome one. She stood and gave him a hug, which he surprisingly returned.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really glad to see you, Black."

"Likewise, Evans," he said, letting her go and giving her a passing smile. "Uncle Gideon."

"Sirius. Long time no see."

Gideon and Sirius shook hands. "Where's James?"

Lily pointed to the room where the Healers were working on him. Sirius swore.

"He's fine, they should be out soon," Gideon said, although Lily was starting to have her doubts.

"What happened to him?"

Gideon gave Sirius the bullet points as Lily got herself a coffee. She felt like this was going to be a long night.

"Hey, Lily, I've got to run. Do you think you'll be okay here with Sirius?" Gideon said when she returned.

"Yes, of course. Thanks for everything, Gideon." She was exhausted, but she wouldn't sleep until she knew James was going to be all right.

"It was nothing at all, Ms. Evans. Hope to see you soon, yeah?" Gideon gave her a wink before Apparating on the spot.

"Have you called James' parents?" Lily asked Sirius when they were alone.

"On their way."

"Okay."

They fell silent, unsure of what to say. The tension between them had been a bit uncomfortable, but for James' sake, they hadn't acted on it much, or even addressed it, besides for Lily's occasional rants to Mary about Sirius' glib attitude towards her.

"Hey, Black."

"Yeah."

"Thanks," she said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it once before letting go.

"Don't mention it, Evans."

Sirius woke her when James' parents arrived. Gideon came back as well to explain to them what happened so Lily didn't have to recount it again. The Healers finally let them into James' room and told them that because of the curse's nature, his wounds originally would not heal by the conventional methods, which was why it took so long. But he was going to be okay, with the only downside of a scar running along his back.

That was hardly a downside, in Lily's opinion.

After a brief introduction with James' parents, Sirius led her out of the room so the Potters could be alone with their son. Lily didn't want to leave his side, but his parents came first.

"Hey, so Gideon doesn't think you should stay at your place tonight. It's too close to the scene. They still haven't located the Muggle family you mentioned, so they're going to widen the search. But in any case, do you and your mum have anywhere else to go for the time being?" Sirius asked her.

"Yeah," she said, even though she didn't. "Thanks, Sirius. I can find my way home."

"Yeah, right, Evans. If you think I'm letting you go like this, you're insane. James would have my head and we both know it."

"What, are you going to Apparate me to my front step? I think I can manage to navigate better than a mutt," she responded.

"Glad to see you're back in form, Evans. No, we're not Apparating," he said with a wicked grin. He handed her a helmet. "We're flying."

Lily had to admit that the ride in Sirius' motorcycle sidecar was more fun than she imagined it would be. It was strangely liberating, only because she felt she could die at any moment. She cast a Disillusionment Charm on the bike as they landed in front of her house. Vernon's car was in the lot, so she braced herself to face her sister. She could see the faint wisps of the faded Dark Mark in the distance and wondered if her family had seen it at all.

"Mind waiting outside? I'd invite you in, but—"

"We're not exactly comrades. I get it. I'll wait here. Don't take your time, please. I've got places to be," he said.

She opened the door and found Petunia packing her things into boxes furiously as her mother tried to stop her. Vernon sat on the couch eating a piece of pie.

"'Tuney, please don't do this. There are only a couple months left until the wedding, surely you can stay until then!"

"You!" Petunia shrieked as Lily entered. Sirius glanced over at her before she shut the door, obviously hearing her sister's frantic yelling. It was hard for Lily to grasp that this—her familial problems—had been her greatest worry not four hours ago. How things changed in such little time.

"What's going on?" Lily asked.

"Oh, Lily. Thank God you're here. Petunia is insistent that she moves out of Cokeworth tonight."

"Why?" Lily asked, wondering if this was because of the Mark.

"_Why_?" Petunia yelled. "Why don't you tell Mum what happened at the restaurant tonight, freak? Hm? Why don't you tell her how you and your homeless boyfriend embarrassed me in front of the entire town? Go ahead, tell her!"

Lily looked at her mum's shocked expression and tried to remain calm. "Mum, I think it's best if we all leave Cokeworth tonight, just for a little while. It isn't safe."

"Isn't safe? Why isn't Cokeworth safe?"

"Some bad wizards—"

"Of course it's because of your—your stupid condition! Always taking priority, Lily's _special gift_! Well, excuse me, but I'm leaving because _I hate you and your stupid gift! _You're a freak and I don't want to be anywhere near you!"

"Petunia!" her mother chided.

"It's okay, Mum. But you should go with 'Tuney. Vernon, do you think it'll be okay if Petunia and Mum stay with you for a couple days?"

Vernon looked alarmed to being addressed by Lily, the freak, but he quickly recovered. He nodded. "I can get them a room in the hotel where I'm staying—"

"No, no, I mean to your place in London. Like I said, Cokeworth isn't safe at the moment."

Vernon looked like he was being asked to bake a million pies right now and then throw them in the rubbish bin, but Lily persisted. "Please, Vernon."

"All right," he said.

Petunia wailed.

"Where are you going to stay, Lily?" her mum asked. "And where is James?"

"I'm going to stay with a friend, Mum. I'll be fine. James is fine too, he's at his home. Just stay with Vernon until I tell you it's safe to come home, okay?"

She quickly packed a bag for herself and grabbed the camera on her bed as a last-minute decision, stuffing it in her bag. She helped her mum drag Petunia out of the house and into Vernon's car. Vernon shot a suspicious look at Sirius, who returned the hateful look. She watched them drive away before getting into the sidecar.

"Do you mind if we follow them to London? Just to make sure they get there safely. It's late."

Sirius made a face, but didn't refuse. She cast them in the charm again as he started up the bike.

"They seem nice," Sirius said.

"We don't need to talk, if that's okay with you," she responded, making sure they didn't lose sight of Vernon's car.

"That's your sister, I'm guessing?" he said, ignoring her suggestion.

Lily remained silent.

Sirius laughed curtly. "No, okay, I get it. Sore topic. Merlin. And I thought James was in store for a nice, calm weekend in Suburbia."

Again, Lily didn't answer.

"You know, we're similar, you and I," Sirius said after a long pause.

"We both immensely dislike the other person riding this motorcycle?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nope. Although you're close."

"Enlighten me."

"We're both the black sheep of our families," he said.

It offended her that he thought she was a black sheep, but if she was being really honest with herself, it was the truth.

"I'll take your silence as an admission."

"Think whatever you want, Black."

"Okay, I will. Want to know what else I think?"

She rolled her eyes, keeping her eyes on Vernon's car from the sky. "I feel like you're going to tell me even if I don't care."

"I think you're all right, Evans."

That was not what she was expecting. "What?"

Sirius turned to face her. "You heard me."

"I could have a concussion and misheard."

Sirius gave her a smile. "You're right, it's a bit unbelievable. Up until a couple hours ago, I couldn't care if you lived or died, Evans. I only tolerated you because James seemed to have this sort of glorified idea about you. I didn't think you and him would last past the first week, honestly."

"Wow, Sirius, thanks for that beautiful, flattering confession. The only reason I care if _you're_ alive is because you're driving this ridiculous motorbike."

"Let me finish. Like I said, glorified idea about you. You're smart, everybody knows that, but, no offense, you don't give off the impression that you make the best decisions, you know? I mean, you were chums with that Slytherin scum Snape until he called you that vile word in front of the entire school!"

"Because of your goading!"

"Exactly, and if he hadn't, you would have continued on being his friend, wouldn't you, just blinded by your misguided loyalty to him?" he said, shooting her a side-glance. She refused to respond. Sirius sighed. "Look, regardless of why he did it, the point is that before that fateful day, you might not have been entirely open to the possibility of him being more than just a greasy Slytherin. Anyway, what I mean to say is that after tonight, I think you've proven that you're more than just book smarts and looks, Evans."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, furious at his arrogance, "I didn't know I had to _prove_ myself to you in order to date your best friend—"

"Of course you do!" he roared back. "Look at the times we're living in, Evans! Open your eyes! Voldemort is recruiting kids from Hogwarts and making them perform Unforgivables on each other, for fuck's sake. _Everyone_ needs to be proven worthy. James is my best friend, and I can't let him be dragged down by someone who is going to be less than par, and end up getting him killed in the process. It's not personal, Evans, it's just survival—understand? Imagine if it had been anyone with less than your talent who had been in there with James. He would be dead right now! I'm trying to compliment you, but you're giving me a damn hard time."

Lily clenched her fists painfully, still angry, but seeing the morbid sense of his words. Sirius was right, but she hated that James had to almost die in order for her to be worthy for him in Sirius' eyes.

"Bloody hell," he sighed. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. And I'm sorry I underestimated you. What I'm really trying to say, without including all this relationship bullshit you and James have, is that I'm grateful that you're there to look out for him when I can't. Sometimes he can get a bit hot-headed, and do the wrong thing, which was why I thought you two together might not be a good idea." Lily felt tears in her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of Sirius Black. "But Gideon told me what Mulciber almost made you do. And like I said before, I'm glad that Potter found someone strong enough to protect him, okay? _You_ saved him back there—not Gideon or Dumbledore or any of those Healers. _You_ saved him. And I'm grateful." Lily was crying, but Sirius mercifully didn't mention it.

He sighed. "I told you James had strings, but you're a skilled knitter, in other words. That's all I meant to say, Evans. Please stop crying onto my leather seats."

"You're still an arse," she said finally, wiping her face and laughing lightly.

Sirius laughed gratefully, releasing the tension between them. "Years of mental abuse. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept. But as long as James and I are friends, you're going to have to deal with me, so we may as well be civil."

"I'm okay with that. As long as you promise to keep a look out for him when _I_ can't," she said.

"Deal."

"Guess that makes us comrades now, eh, Black?"

"Don't push it, Evans."

"I'll invite you in for my mum's tea and biscuits next time."

"And I accept, as long as you don't try to poison me."

She pulled out her camera from her bag and snapped a picture of Sirius.

"_Argh_!" he yelled, swerving the bike. "What the fuck are you doing, Evans? I'm flying a motorbike, for fuck's sake!"

"Calm down!" she said, laughing. "It's only a picture. I just wanted to remember the moment Lily Evans and Sirius Black made peace. Merlin, you didn't need to lay an egg," she said, putting her camera back in her bag.

"For fuck's sake," Sirius grumbled. "Nearly dropped us out of the sky with that flash. Too fucking sentimental for anyone's good," he continued to complain. "_'Remember the moment'_, Merlin. Remember the moment we both died in a terrible flying motorbike accident? Damn idiotic—"

"Who the bloody hell are you still talking to, Black?" she asked him. He glared at her as she laughed.

They fell into a more comfortable silence, following Vernon's car dutifully.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but I have to ask," Sirius said after a while.

"Go ahead."

"The other recruits. Did you see any of their faces?"

Lily knew why Sirius was asking. She had purposely avoided thinking about the recruits there because she was almost certain she knew who the other three masked figures were and she didn't want to face it. Lily was certain of the identity of the one who James had been dueling for the majority, the one who had cursed him, but she didn't care to address it. But maybe she should, after the talk she just had with Sirius. She made good decisions now, after all.

"I don't know if Regulus was one of them," she responded. "But that doesn't mean he wasn't. Snape and Mulciber were there, and I know you don't want to hear this, but I have a suspicion Avery and your brother were the other two. But Gibbon and Rowle could have been there as well, if they weren't already part of the older crowd. We won't know until after everything is finalized, though."

She left Sirius to consider the consequences in silence. "Thanks," he said, breaking it. "Sometimes I don't make the best decisions when it comes to my brother, either. He's a fucking idiot, but he's still my blood."

"I understand. You know, we can work together," she said, wondering if he was going to flip out again about her being so damn sentimental. "Since we're slightly more than acquaintances now, you can tell me if I'm being an idiot about Snape, and I can try to tell you if you're being an idiot about your brother."

Sirius looked at her. "Sure you can handle that?"

She laughed. "Telling you you're an idiot? Haven't I already proven myself to you on that one?"

"I meant the other one," he said.

"Yeah, I think it's time I accepted that Snape is no longer the person he used to be. It would be helpful having someone who hates his guts reminding me of that once in a while. James is too close. I think he might even be jealous of Snape because we used to be such good friends. It's actually pretty adorable."

"You're fucking weird, Evans."

"And you have a flying motorbike. What is your point?"

Sirius laughed and they continued their way on to Vernon's apartment.

Vernon's car finally made it all the way to London and Lily cast rudimentary protection charms around his apartment, just in case. When she was done, she struggled to keep her eyes open. Her entire body hurt and all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Where to next?" Sirius asked, hovering above Vernon's house.

"St. Mungo's."

"You need sleep, Lily."

"St. Mungo's."

Sirius put the visor back down on his helmet and started the motorbike towards the hospital.

.

When James woke up late afternoon the next day, he saw two blurry figures on the couch in his room. He felt around for his glasses and he could finally see Sirius and Lily asleep on the couch, with Sirius' head on Lily's shoulder.

"Oi, Black!" he yelled. Sirius sat up abruptly, groggily, then smiled at James. "Get off of Evans!"

"Evans, get up. Your boyfriend is back," Sirius said, shaking Lily awake. "Hey, Prongs. How're you feeling?"

"Fine, if the first thing I saw wasn't you drooling all over my girlfriend's shoulder," James said, bristled.

"Don't be jealous, Potter," Lily said, yawning and stretching her arms above her head. She came to sit on the edge of the bed and took his hand. "Not going anywhere, remember?"

"All right, that's about as much romance I can take, so I'm going to take off. Probably tell Remus and Pete what happened. Talk to you later, Prongs. Evans."

"Bye, Sirius," Lily said, looking at James' face with a small smile.

Sirius closed the door and James smiled at his girlfriend, whose face was now a mask, the smile gone.

"Are you okay?" she asked, perfectly serious.

"Fine, feel perfectly normal. My back doesn't even hurt—"

Lily punched him in the gut and he yelled in pain. "Ow! Evans, what was that for?"

"If you ever—_ever_ put your wand away while we're in a duel again, Potter, I will kill you myself," she said angrily, her eyes blazing.

"Well, that's what I was trying to stop you from doing in the first place! It's a bit difficult to kiss someone properly with a wand in your hand," he said, bracing himself for another physical affront. Where were the damn Healers? Weren't they supposed to prevent injury, not allow it?

She still looked angry, but less likely to punch him again.

"Are _you_ okay though?" he asked her. "Why aren't you in your own bed?"

"Permanent brain damage from that botched Imperius. Why do you think I haven't killed you yet?" she said, scowling at him.

He smiled. "Normally, I would be receptive to this sort of banter, but not when it comes to this," he said. "You're seriously okay?"

"I'm fine," she said. "Just tired."

He shifted over on his bed, creating space for her under his arm. "What are you waiting for then?" he asked.

She laughed, looking at the door. "People could come in. Your parents told me they would be back before dinner."

"You met my parents?"

"Of course."

"And did they hate you?" he asked, with a grin as she conceded, snuggling herself under his arm. He kissed her temple, taking a deep breath of her smell and feeling infinitely better.

"I think they were too worried about their little prince to pass proper judgment. Your mum probably thinks it's my fault you're in here though. I, personally, thought they were overreacting with the severity of your injury," she said, looking up at him. "It was barely bigger than a paper cut," she said, holding up her fingers—millimeters apart—to show him the approximate size of his supposed wound.

"Ah, Evans. Ever the affectionate one."

"You're okay though, right? The Healers said as long as you felt fine, all was good. And I'm sorry for punching you."

"No, you're not," he laughed.

"You're right. I'm not."

"Will I be able to play Quidditch?" James asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Why is that always the first question you ask?"

"It wasn't! I asked if you were all right first, then about Quidditch. And Quidditch is very important to me—"

"Glad you have your priorities straight," she said dryly. "You might be out for a couple games, but you'll probably be back before the Cup."

"Thank Merlin."

"Hm. This bed is far more comfortable than that couch over there. We can talk later. I'm going to just nap for a bit more, if you don't mind."

"Sure you don't want to talk about what happened? Is your family okay?"

"Yes, they're fine, staying with Vernon in London. Now give me some of that blanket—" she said, gently tugging. She curled her legs against his and rested her head on his chest. He began playing with her hair and she sighed contently.

"If your family is staying with Vernon, where are you staying? Please don't say with that Large Muggle."

"I haven't gone home. Stayed here last night, plan to stay here tonight as well," she said into his shirt.

"Evans! You can't," he said.

"_You_ did when I was in the Hospital Wing! And we weren't even dating then," she said. "Besides, where else am I going to go? Sirius won't let me stay at my house on my own and I'm not crashing at Vernon's. Besides, hospitals help me sleep," she said, mimicking his joke and closing her eyes. "Unless you prefer I stay with Sirius," Lily said, poking him in the chest. "He's already offered, albeit more out of duty than out of hospitality."

"No," he said sternly. Sirius had a habit of walking around without any clothes on. She laughed against him, her breathing becoming slower.

"I'm glad you're okay," she said, taking his fingers and kissing them. She held his hand with both of hers at her chest.

"Me too," he said. "We just need to make sure you're out of my bed before my parents come in. We wouldn't want to give my mum a heart attack, would we?"

Lily giggled softly, but he could tell she was already drifting off.

James let Lily sleep for a couple hours as he read the Prophet. There was nothing in the paper about the attack in Cokeworth, just that the Dark Mark was sighted outside of London on page six. He found that suspicious. Voldemort had been there, with countless Death Eaters. Surely there had to be some arrests.

Lily went to get a snack as his parents returned. His mother fawned over him, but he assured her he barely felt a thing, which was the truth. His father asked for a recount, which he gave loosely, not wanting to concern them over his safety, or chide him for his stupidity. At least he had the sense to contact Sirius before diving into a group full of Voldemort's followers.

Gideon returned after Lily and the Potters ate dinner, along with the rest of the Marauders, who brought James his favorite candy from Diagon Alley.

"We caught a few low-level Death Eaters and two of the recruits," Gideon told them as they ate.

"Which ones?" James asked.

Gideon shot a look at Sirius. "Mulciber was one of them. Regulus Black was the other."

Sirius didn't look surprised. James should have warned him that Regulus had been there before Gideon confirmed it.

"And the other two?" Lily asked. James wondered if she knew Snape had been there. She hadn't brought it up and James didn't want to either.

"Got away."

"What about the other members? Any of the older generation?" Mr. Potter asked.

"Like I said, some of his lower-level members who offered to give us names for the others. None of the ones we're looking for, like the Lestranges. But Lily and James, you'll be required to be witnesses at Mulciber and Black's hearings. They'll take place before you return to Hogwarts, so you won't miss any class."

"What'll happen to them?" Lily asked. Sirius was brooding in his corner.

"It's difficult to tell," Gideon said. "They're both Hogwarts students. The court isn't likely to convict a couple of teenagers."

James felt the bile in his throat.

"Where is Reg now? Locked up in Azkaban?" Sirius asked.

"No, no. Dumbledore refused to allow them to be sent there, as they are still his students. They're in an undisclosed location."

James thought Sirius looked relieved to hear that. At least his little brother wasn't being subjected to those soul-sucking Dementors.

"Also, we found that Muggle family down in Spinner's End—"

"Spinner's End?" Lily said, breath short.

"Yes, are you familiar with that area?" Gideon asked.

"Oh, yes, I just, um, used to go to the park there, that's all," Lily said, turning her eyes to the ground.

"Well, they were fine, physically, just emotionally scarred. But that's all been taken care of. So, I'll be in touch with you two later to go over your testimonies and such. Dumbledore said he'd come sometime this evening to check up with everyone. Anyway, get well soon, James, see you all later."

They thanked Gideon and said goodbye as the Auror left. James' parents said they would stay until Dumbledore arrived, but Remus and Peter had to go. The Potters invited Remus and Peter to Christmas dinner, which they graciously accepted.

The Healers said James could leave the next day and it was the best news he had received since getting here. Dumbledore arrived a couple hours later to speak with the Potters. Sirius was still there and was playing a game of Exploding Snap with him as they 'adults' talked outside. Lily was reading a book in the corner.

His parents waited outside as Dumbledore entered James' room alone. Sirius put away the Exploding Snap and turned to Dumbledore, who gave them all very wide smiles.

"James and Lily, you are very extraordinary young people for surviving an attack from Voldemort. And Sirius, your swift action in alerting the Prewetts was instrumental in the safety of Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. All three of you are extraordinary wizards, and witch," he said with a smile. The three of them smiled embarrassingly back.

"We didn't even duel Voldemort, Sir. We were only dueling Mulciber and the others—" Lily started.

Dumbledore put up a hand. "The fact is that the most powerful wizard wanted you two dead, yet here you sit in front of me, very much alive. You have thwarted him once, and that is one more time than many wizards can say."

"You've encountered him many times, Sir—"

"Yes, but I knew him as a very young boy, before he became Lord Voldemort. I'm afraid I already have an advantage," he said with a small, sad smile.

"My, I seem to have drifted off topic," Dumbledore said. "Sirius, you already know about the Order, evidently, but I've come here to ask if you would like to join at the end of this school year. You have proven that you have the proper instincts and I trust you will be a grand addition to the team."

"I would—"

"Please, do not answer immediately. You have the rest of the year to think about it. And of course, Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter, the offers still stand. You have already demonstrated that you have the talent and will to do what is right, and many in the Order were very impressed with the amount of skill the two of you showed. Again, you do not need to reply right now, but I would like you to continue to think about it."

"Sir," Lily asked. "If we do decide to join," she asked. "Would we be able to hold down a job at the same time?" she asked.

"Of course, my dear! Many Order members only work part-time on Order business. There are very few who are full-time members. Unfortunately, I cannot provide compensation to all Order members, so a full-time job would be necessary," Dumbledore said. Lily nodded, a weak smile on her face.

"Very well, that's all I wished to say, as well as well done. Voldemort has always been known to underestimate those around him, and it's no doubt he gravely underestimated the strength of two students from Hogwarts. I shall be seeing you soon."

And with that, Dumbledore left with a swish of his light blue robes.

* * *

**Author's Note: ONE encounter with Voldemort + ****TWO times the reviews (since TWO chapters were posted at once) = an author who is THREE times happier than when these chapters went up. **

**Math. It makes sense. **


	20. Chapter 20: Fire and Ice

**20: Fire and Ice**

James asked Lily and Sirius if he could have a word alone with his parents for a second and they left the room. Since when did they become so chummy? Not that James was jealous, he just didn't want them exchanging information on him. It was a bit unnerving to have the two people who knew you best on friendly terms. There was no telling what could happen.

"Mum, Dad, can we talk about Lily?"

"What about her?" his mother said. There was a slight tone of hostility in her voice that James found disturbing. Maybe Lily was right. Maybe things changed once girls got involved.

"She seems very nice, Jimmy. And very smart, too. Gideon told us she resisted an Imperius—"

"James would never have gotten into this situation if not for her—" his mother said, whispering intensely at his dad and pretending James wasn't there.

"Mum," James said, surprised. "This isn't Lily's fault."

"'Course it isn't, dear," she said with a faulty smile. "I never said that."

"I have a cut on my back, but I still have my ears," he said. "And they're working just fine."

"I—I didn't mean it like that. I was just telling your father that if you came home first, and had dinner with the Evans' after Christmas, like what I originally proposed, none of this would have happened—"

"And those Muggles would be dead," James said. "You know she saved their lives, right?"

James' mum faltered. "I'm not saying that she wasn't very brave, but—"

"You don't like her," he finished, feeling extremely disappointed that Lily had been right.

"James, dear, it's not that I don't like her, but I think there are other people out there—"

"Andrea—" James's dad tried to interrupt.

"No, just listen. I think there are other girls out there that won't needlessly put you in danger! She may have resisted an Imperius, but Gideon also told us that she ran out into the crowd of Death Eaters, without even calling for help before hand! I'm sorry, James, but that does not tell me that she is the most stable—"

"Enough," James' dad said before James could. "That is enough. He doesn't need to hear this."

Andrea Potter frowned at her husband as James sat there in shock. They seemed to be conversing amongst themselves silently. He couldn't believe his mother right now. How could she call Lily unstable?

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" James' father asked him, breaking the intense eye conversation he had been having with James' mum.

"No," James said numbly. He couldn't even find it within himself to be angry with his mum. She was his mother, after all. "No, that isn't it."

"What did you want to say?" his mum asked, still upset, the corner of her lips downturned.

James almost laughed. It was hardly the time or place, but with all this tension in the room, he felt like he needed to. She really wasn't going to like what he was going to say next.

"Um," he said, letting out a small chuckle as his mother looked at him as if he was losing his mind. "I was going to ask if Lily could stay with us for the rest of the break. Her house is empty and since she lives so close to the Death Eater attack—"

"Yes, of course," James' dad said immediately.

"Charles!"

"We've made our decision."

"Let's talk about this first," Mrs. Potter said. "In private."

"Andrea, we didn't turn down Sirius when he had no where to call home, and we would be hypocrites to turn down another homeless child in need."

"Yes, but Sirius is not _dating_ our son—"

Charles laughed, which made Andrea furious. "Have you even spoken to the girl yet?" he asked her. Andrea, startled, looked as if she was wondering why that was relevant to the conversation. "She's charming, intelligent, and funny as hell, and I'm pretty sure she keeps James out of more trouble than she leads him into. She's everything you could want in a daughter and you're going to hold that against her because James was injured? When he could have been _killed_ if she hadn't resisted that Imperius?"

James' dad turned to him with a softer smile on his face, while his mother looked torn. James had never seen his parents argue like this and it was the most uncomfortable situation he'd ever been in. It made his chest ache in ways it never had before.

"She can come and stay with us tonight, if she wishes, although I doubt that she would want to. Tell Sirius he's also welcome, if he doesn't want to spend the holidays alone. We'll see you tomorrow, son." Charles Potter stormed out of the room, leaving Andrea looking shocked and upset.

"I'm sorry, James," she said, hiding her eyes from him. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'll see you tomorrow," she said, leaving the room without looking back at him. Lily and Sirius came into the room, staring at his parents leave.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked as Lily sat on the couch, looking apprehensive.

"Um, nothing," James said. "Dad had an upset stomach, that's all," James said. "Anyway, good news. They said you could come stay with us for the rest of Christmas break, Lil. And you too, Sirius, if you don't want to be alone in your apartment for the holidays."

"James, I'm not going to stay in your house—"

"Well, you're not going back to Cokeworth. And you're sure as hell not staying with Sirius, so you're coming to my place. Dad said it was fine."

She looked nervous. "Are you sure your Mum is okay with it? She's barely even looked at me since we were introduced."

"Oh, Mrs. Potter is a just a hard nut to crack. But she'll come around," Sirius said. "I can have my old room?" he asked James.

"'Course," James responded. "Evans, it's either you stay with me, or you stay with Vernon. I think the choice is pretty clear."

"Oh, all right. But not for the whole break. I'll be able to go back to Cokeworth before the end of it, won't I?"

"No," James responded with a smile. "Trust me, you're not going to want to leave," he said.

"And that's my cue," Sirius said, heading for the door. "You two don't get up to anything that's going to get James kicked out of the hospital, you hear? They have monitors," he said, pointing at the ceilings. "I'm going to go pack my Christmas decorations since I know you Potters don't have anything decent. Later," he said, shutting the door behind them.

Lily was still looking anxious. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.

"What do you mean? The original plan was that you were going to spend time at my place anyway—"

"Yes, but for a weekend! Not for two weeks!"

"We basically live together at Hogwarts—"

"Yes, but we don't spend all of our time together at Hogwarts!"

He was confused. "You don't want to spend all of our time together?"

She laughed, looking at the ceiling. "Merlin, you are so…innocently optimistic sometimes," she said, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked. "Why is that being optimistic?"

"Spending all our time together. Isn't that how people start to realize that maybe this person isn't the right person after all? They see all their idiosyncrasies and the little things that never used to annoy them suddenly become as irritating as incessant buzzing—"

"I have an enormous house. If I want to hide from you, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to, no problem."

She laughed again, but she looked sad. "Just until Christmas, then I'm going to go home."

"Well, what about the hearings, hm? How are you going to get to the Ministry alone? I don't think you have the Floo network set up in your house. It'll just be easier if you stay at my place and we can go together. They'll probably be after Christmas."

Lily shook her head. "I have my Apparition license, and I could just Apparate to yours in the morning. It's not difficult."

"There's something else, isn't there?" he asked, finally seeing that there was more to this than just anxiousness at staying at his house.

She sighed.

"Why are you still sitting on the couch?"

"I'm worried you might do something to get you kicked out of the hospital," she said with a grin.

He smiled. "I won't, promise."

Lily tentatively stepped towards the bed and sat at his feet. Fine. That was better than the couch at least.

"Snape was one of the recruits," she admitted.

James sighed, feeling like one of the weights had been lifted off his chest. "I know. Why do you think I went for that one so quickly?"

"How could you tell it was him?" she asked, surprised.

"The slouch. The spindly fingers. The top of his hood was greasy, too. Who else could it be?"

She rolled her eyes.

"How did you know it was him, then? If not the grease?"

"I recognized his voice after he cursed you."

"Do you happen to remember what curse he used? I can't remember what he said. I don't think I've ever heard it before."

She shook her head. "He creates spells all the time. It was probably of his own creation," she said sadly.

"Pretty dark creation," he mumbled.

She scooted closer. "And the Muggles they found? Spinner's End. That's where Snape lives. They could have been his neighbors or something."

"Snape lives five minutes away from you?" he exclaimed. "Why didn't I know this before?"

Lily looked contrite. "I should have told you, I know. I just didn't think it was important at the time. And I didn't think you would have enjoyed yourself at my place if you knew he was just five minutes away—"

"Of course I wouldn't! But not because I hate his guts, but because he's a fucking Death Eater!" he said, outraged. "Lily, this is the sort of stuff you're not supposed to keep from me, regardless of if I'd be happy about it or not! That's it; you're definitely not going back there. Neither is your family. Merlin, does he know where you live?"

Lily scowled at him. "He wouldn't attack my family."

"You just admitted that the Muggles they kidnapped were from his neighborhood! Merlin—"

"Look, I regret not telling you sooner, all right? Don't you think I know that if I had said something before, they could have found the Muggles sooner and a lot of their stress could have been dealt with earlier? I regret it, okay? But I'm telling you now, much to my shame, so please, don't make me feel worse!" she said, standing and pacing at the edge of the bed.

James tried to calm down. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry for yelling. Will you please sit down?" She shot him a dirty look and sat down on the couch. Okay, fine. "But Merlin, Lil. I know you think there's still a chance for him, but this—you can't go keeping things like this from me. You should know by now that I wouldn't have purposely gone searching for him—"

"I know! And for the record, I don't think there's a chance for him anymore," she said, looking at her hands. "He was prepared to use an Unforgivable on those Muggles. Bloody hell, he used the Cruciatus and a Dark curse on you! He's long past my help and I know that. And I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I just didn't know how to bring it up. And now I have and you're mad at me anyway, so I'm sorry if I was a bit hesitant to tell you at first," she said.

"Fuck, Lily. I'm not mad. I'm just—"

"Angry?" she offered.

He groaned. "Okay, maybe a bit angry."

"See? We'd be horrible living together," she said quietly.

"Stop being ridiculous. This has nothing to do with that. And stop sitting so far away," he said. "Will you come here, please?" he said. After seeing his parents fight like that in front of him, he was determined not to end up the same with Lily. They were going to talk through their arguments instead of making singular decisions and storming out of rooms.

She stood cautiously and sat by his hip this time. He took her hand and squeezed it, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. She smiled at him.

"Let's start again," he said.

She nodded. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I know I should have. I just didn't want your weekend to be spoiled by the thought that he was so close. Hell, I didn't want _my_ weekend ruined by reminding myself he was so close. There's a reason I don't like going back home. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

He smiled. "I'm sorry for yelling. It was stupid. Just whenever you mention his name, I get really angry and I can't stop it. It's going to take some practice, okay? You just have to be patient. The git did cut my back in half."

"Over exaggeration."

"Not really, though."

She put her hands on either side of his face. "I love you, James Potter."

He grinned, ignoring the jolt in his chest. He didn't think he'd ever get used to her saying those words. She could say it a million times a day and he still wouldn't get used to it. "I love you, Lily Evans."

She leaned in and kissed him, the first time since the incident, and he responded eagerly. He pulled her closer and lowered the bed so that she was on top of him. She laughed against his lips and pulled her face back, much to his dissent.

"You have one more night, Potter, let's not get kicked out early, okay?" she said, patting his cheek and restoring the sitting position of the bed. He pouted.

"Don't give me that face," she said.

"What face?" he said, clearly aware of what face she was referring to.

She poked his forehead and he caught her hand. "That face," she said with a smile.

"But you understand why I don't want you staying in Cokeworth for the rest of the break, right?"

She made a face. "I told you I don't need a knight to protect me," she said.

"And I'm not trying to be one. I'm just trying to prevent any unnecessary encounters. Besides, if you're worried about seeing too much of each other, Sirius will be around to break us apart, trust me, and I promise to leave you alone, if you want to be alone. I will also hide if I don't want to see you, and I promise you won't find me until I'm ready to see you again," he said with a smile.

"Well, don't say it like that," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not the bloody plague," she said.

"Well, neither am I, yet you seem determined that we're going to be sick of each other. We might as well call it the plague," he said.

She smiled, giving him a small kiss. "Your mum doesn't like me," she said simply.

James gave her a small smile. "She's just worried about me. It had nothing to do with you."

She nodded. "You're a good son. And a good boyfriend, to lie to me like that—no, don't argue. I could tell by the way she never looked me in the eye," she said. "Don't worry, I can understand why."

"I don't, though," James said.

"It's a woman thing. Your dad and I have no issues," she said, shrugging.

"She'll come around—"

"But if she doesn't, just know that I'll never make you pick, okay? I won't make you pick between your mum and me, if it came down to that. I pray that it doesn't, but just in case, you don't have to worry," she said.

James smiled. "I don't fucking deserve you, Evans."

She smiled at him. "That's a nice sentiment, but it probably would have sounded more romantic without the cursing," she said, tilting her head to the side, her eyes shining in the dim light.

He laughed. "It sounds more passionate this way. I fucking love you. See? More _fiery_ passion."

She laughed. "And you're a bloody idiot. How's _that_ for passion?"

"No, that's called rudeness," he said, pretending to think about the proper classification of her statement.

"Goodnight, James," she said, kissing him on the forehead and going to her couch.

"You know, you could come sleep over here—"

"_Goodnight_, James."

He laughed and put his glasses on the table. "Love you, Lil."

"Love you back."

.

"I'm going to go drop in on my mum before coming over to your place," Lily told James as he packed his things. He still couldn't bend over properly because his back was stiff, so she helped him grab his bag from the floor.

"How are you going to know how to get to my place?" he asked.

"Sirius offered to take me," she said. "In his motorbike."

James frowned. "You're spending an awful lot of time with Sirius," he said.

She scowled at him. She knew he was just grumpy because his mobility was severely reduced and the extra movement was hard on his back, but still. "Sirius and I are friends now, James. That's what friends do. Drive their friends around on their available motorbikes."

He sighed, sitting down on the bed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. My back just hurts more than I thought it would."

"It's fine," she said. Lily held his face in her hands and he looked at her with a forlorn expression. "Stop being a baby, Potter," she said with a smile. He frowned at her. "I mean it. No one's going to feel sorrier for you than yourself, so you might as well just suck it up and get on with it."

"Isn't a girlfriend supposed to be supportive of their boyfriend's hardships?"

She kissed him lightly and smiled. "I am being supportive."

"You told me I was being a baby!" he whined.

Her eyebrows rose. "That's 'cause you are, Potter."

"I don't know, maybe I should stay a couple more days. My back was fine before—"

"Yeah, while you were sitting in a bed all hours of the day! No one expects you to go flying a broomstick right away. Merlin, it's only been a couple hours! Obviously your back is going to be sore."

He sighed. "I feel like a Flobberworm."

She laughed. "You're much more intelligent than a Flobberworm, and much more capable. Slightly better looking."

James made a face at her and she laughed, sitting beside him on the bed.

"You'll be back to your normal self by the time I get to your house because I'm expecting a full tour."

"You just said no one was expecting me to go flying on a broomstick right away!"

"Yes, but I'm not 'no one', and I'm not asking you to _fly_ me around your house, am I?" she said with a smile.

He groaned. "You're a menace, Evans," he said, lying on his back slowly.

She laughed as she threw her bag over her shoulder. "Just think. If I like the tour, I might even give you a thank you present," she said, winking.

He lifted his head. "What kind of present?"

She grinned, shrugging. "You'll have to find out, Potter. Work for it."

He sat up slowly, frowning at her. "Menace."

"Hey, you wanted me to stay at your house," she said, opening the door. "Now, stop frowning, it makes you look like a Flobberworm," she said, laughing at his glare and waving from the window. She turned to see Sirius there and she waved at him too.

"Morning," she said, smiling at him.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked, yawning.

"James was acting like a baby so I motivated him."

"I'm not going to want to hear the rest, am I?" he said with a wince.

"I'm not sharing, so it doesn't matter."

He shook his shaggy mane. "Where to first?"

"My place. I need to pack my things."

Sirius flew them to Cokeworth, where she quickly got her things together and strapped her trunk to the back of Sirius' motorbike. Then, they flew to London to drop in on her mum, while Vernon and Petunia were mercifully out of the house. Lily told her not to go back home until the New Year, which she regretfully agreed to. Her mum told her Petunia was planning to stay with Vernon until the wedding, which Lily agreed was the best option. After promising to visit for Christmas, Sirius drove them out to the West Country to the Potter residence.

"They live fairly close to Godric's Hollow," Sirius informed her on the way there. "But their house is a bit more secluded, not really part of a village, really. It's enormous. Us lads would play Quidditch out on the fields for hours."

"Hm," she said, feeling anxious.

"Don't be intimidated," he said to her, seeming to pick up on her thoughts. "They're really not all that snobby, even though they seem like they would be. They've got money, sure, but it doesn't go to their heads, like it does other wizard families. The Potters are the good ones, Evans."

"Well, I guess they must be, if they take in mutts like you."

Sirius ignored her. "Hey, what we heard back at the hospital, you shouldn't bring that up, all right? I know it hurt your feelings, but it'll make James feel like shit if you tell him you heard, okay?"

"Don't worry, I have more tact than that," she said. "Besides, we sort of already talked about it. He doesn't know I know all the details, but I assured him I didn't mind that his mother seemed to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you—"

"Black, I thought we determined you didn't have to lie to me," she said.

He took a breath. "Okay, she may not like you, but it's not personal. It's that whole survival thing I was talking about. She's just overprotective of James, she always has been, and no one is ever going to be right for her boy. Not even perfect Miss Lily Evans."

She made a face at him as he grinned. "I know that. I told James that, but he didn't believe me."

"That's 'cause it's his mum. If we had mums like that, we wouldn't think badly of her either."

"Hey, speak for yourself, Black, my mum's fine."

"Sorry," he said. "Your sister, then. She seems charming."

"Yeah, well, I'm still not ruling out the option that I'm adopted."

"You and I both, Evans," Sirius sighed.

"How are things with you and Mary?" Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged. "We fit very well together," he said with a grin.

She made a sort of grimace and felt a bit sick, and he chuckled. "No, really, things are good, to answer your question."

"She likes jewelry, in case you were wondering what to get her for Christmas. Inexpensive is fine, as long as it doesn't fall apart in your hand. Silver earrings, maybe."

"Thanks for the tip," he said. "James likes Quidditch. And you, but I suppose he's already got that," he said with a wink.

"Don't tell James this," she said. "But I'm sort of glad you're staying over as well. At least I won't have to deal with his mum alone, you know?"

Sirius snorted. "I won't be much help. Mrs. Potter loves me like a son."

"Yeah, but maybe you being there will make it feel like I'm not the only guest in the house."

"Sure, Evans, whatever you say."

"Well, I guess nothing can be worse than what happened at dinner with my sister."

"Did the restaurant blow up?"

"Just about."

"Here we are," Sirius said, descending in front of a mansion surrounded by fields of snow in every direction. There didn't seem to be another house for miles.

"Bloody hell," Lily said. "I didn't know James lived in bloody Buckingham Palace."

Sirius laughed. "It's bigger, actually."

"Piss off."

"Okay, fine. It isn't. But still bloody huge. You could have an entire wing to yourself, if you wanted. I do."

"Oh, Merlin. I asked James for a bloody tour when I got here."

Sirius snorted. "It will take you all day. Better rethink that." Sirius grabbed her trunk from the back of the bike and carried it in as Lily tried to steady her nervous heart.

"We're home!" Sirius called out. It echoed around the Entrance Hall—yes, they had an Entrance Hall—and put the trunk on the floor. House elves immediately carted it away and Lily tried not to cry. They had house elves! More than one! Merlin!

James appeared at the top of the steps, wearing a red jumper and smiling widely. He made his way down the steps—faster than Lily could have imagined—and gave her a kiss, to which Sirius made a noise of disgust.

"Lily! Welcome to the Potter residence. And look! I feel great!" he said, stretching his arms above his head.

"Great!" she said, smiling widely as Sirius gave her a knowing look. "Great, I'm happy for you."

"You said you wanted a tour—"

"We should eat lunch first," Mr. Potter said, appearing from the hall and smiling at Lily. "Sirius, my boy, good to see you."

"Looking sharp, Mr. Potter," Sirius said, shaking his hand. "I'm starving. Where is Mrs. Potter?"

"Ah, taking a rest upstairs. Best not yell," Mr. Potter said. Sirius nodded and made his way into the house, whistling a Christmas tune. Lily felt like he was abandoning her here.

James led her to the Dining Hall—yes, they had one of those, too—as they passed through a corridor with portraits lining the walls. She tried to look at all of them as she passed, but it was impossible. They were staring at her and whispering behind their hands and she tried not to let it get to her. She thought she read some that said 'Potter' underneath, and she gathered it must have been a family tree of some sort. Merlin.

And James had been inside her shabby house in Cokeworth. What terrible things did he think of her house when he lived in this palace?

"You okay?" James asked.

She nodded and smiled. "Just hungry."

They sat down to lunch at a table that was too large, with food that was too good. James and his dad discussed Quidditch for a large portion, while Sirius stuffed his face, occasionally providing input. Of course, Lily had nothing to contribute to this conversation and quietly ate her lunch, looking around at the extravagant room they were eating in. Mr. Potter occasionally asked her questions about school and her family, which she answered, then went back to eating.

After lunch, Sirius announced he was going to go visit Mary for a bit and that he'd be back for dinner. Mr. Potter said he was going to go to his study and not to bother Mrs. Potter, who was still resting in her room.

"Ready for your tour?" James asked.

She nodded. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

He nodded. "The Healer said that the muscles are all healed, I just need to get used to working again. It's fine."

"But you shouldn't over work it—"

"I thought you told me to suck it up—"

"Yes, but that's when you were acting like a Flobberworm and literally doing nothing. I want you to exercise, but I don't want you to hurt yourself—"

"I'm fine. Let's go."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her along, and she couldn't fight it any longer. They were doing this.

He showed her the many rooms of his house—mansion—and eventually they all started to blend into one another. This dining room was used to serve old acquaintances of Mr. Potter, but anyone from Mrs. Potter's acquaintances couldn't step foot in this one because of some reason or other—it was all too overwhelming. The tour continued on much like this for about twenty minutes, with James narrating and Lily nodding, trying to keep it together.

They went into another hallway and Lily already knew she was going to get lost in this place.

"James," Lily said, making up her mind that she couldn't stay here. "I don't think—"

"Hold on, you haven't seen the best room in the house yet," he said with a grin.

"No, James, I need to—"

He opened the door and the words froze in her mouth. James' room.

It was like looking at his room in Hogwarts. The walls were covered in Gryffindor paraphernalia and Puddlemere posters. There were messy clothes all over the floor and books that lay open. His sheets weren't made, but that just made it better. Lily felt like she could breathe again.

"I know it's a mess—sorry," he said, using his wand to quickly stuff some things into drawers and make the bed. "I didn't have time to clean it before, and Mum ordered the house elves not to come in here 'cause she doesn't want them cleaning up my mess—"

He looked nervous.

"James, it's wonderful," she said, laughing and feeling relieved at once.

"It's not as glamorous as the rest of the house—"

"It's perfect," she said, sitting on his bed, getting past all the clothes on the floor. It smelled like him everywhere and she felt her shoulders relax. "I love it."

James grinned. "Mum decorated the whole house, but once I got into Hogwarts, I started adding my own decorations," he said, pointing to the posters and such. "And eventually, it got so messy that she thought the house elves would contract some sort of disease if they stayed in here too long, so she forbade them from entering."

Lily laughed, lying down on his large bed and closing her eyes. "It's my favorite room in the house."

"Glad you like it, Evans," he said, sitting down next to her. "It's strangely _not_ weird seeing you in my childhood bedroom at all," he said.

She put her hands over her eyes and groaned. "Merlin, I can't believe I let you in my house. And we went to that horrible restaurant when you have house elves that cook like master chefs—"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, laughing.

"My house! You live in a palace, and I brought you back to my shabby wooden shack—"

James removed her hands from her eyes. "I loved your house. Honest. Why do you think I put up so many posters? To make it feel more like a room instead of a glass display. I've always wanted a house like yours, Lily," James said. "But yes, that restaurant was horrific. People and food-wise."

She smiled at him. "You're trying to make me feel better—"

"Yes, but I'm also telling you the truth. My parents also own a smaller, less extravagant house—more of a cottage, really—in Godric's Hollow that I much prefer to this one. Dad already said it's mine once I graduate from Hogwarts. And I forbade my mother from helping me decorate."

"Telling me you have more than one house is not going to make me feel better," she said.

He smiled. "Sorry. I told you the Potters were rich. I can't help that."

She sighed. "I understood rich, I wasn't expecting _royalty_."

He shook his head. "Not royalty."

"You have a family history outlined in your hallway."

He grimaced. "Rich, not royalty. None of them were kings or queens as far as I know."

She sighed, closing her eyes again. She just wished she could stay in this room forever and never go out into the rest of the house again. It was so cold and unforgiving out there.

"Want to see your room?" James asked.

The honest answer was no.

"Sure," she said, sitting herself up and following him to the door. She looked back at his comfortable room before James pulled her out into the hallway, back into the intimidating high ceilings and painted Potters.

He brought her to the end of the hall. "Mum wouldn't let you have the guest bedroom next to mine," he added as a side thought. "But here it is."

He opened the door and Lily gasped. The walls were purple—no, _lilac_, and it was the complete opposite of the décor from the rest of the house. Much more like James' comforting Hogwarts-esque room, it was like a mixture of Lily's childhood bedroom and her Hogwarts one, but with more adult-Lily weaved into it. There was even a small fireplace with armchairs. She turned to James, who had an expectant smile on his face.

"You did this?" she said, breathless.

"Do you like it?"

"James!" she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him fervently. "It's wonderful. Merlin, it's perfect. The most perfect."

He laughed and set her down. "I've learned that you prefer simplicity over extravagance, finally, after six years of rejection. So here it is. _Lilac_," he said, grinning like he was obviously pleased with himself.

She snorted. "You are such a dork. A wonderful, thoughtful dork."

He grinned. "Did you like the tour?"

She laughed and rested her arms on his shoulders, pulling herself up to his face. "Loved it," she said, pushing the door shut behind his head.

James grinned at her before they kissed, slowly walking her backward towards the bed. She moved her hands down his front and pulled at the bottom hem of his sweater. He understood what she wanted and broke apart, lifting his arms as she quickly pulled the sweater off his head and threw it on the ground. She took his glasses as well and put them on the small table and she took a quick moment to appreciate just how beautiful James' body was. She could probably stare at him for days, but he wasn't having that. He grabbed her by the waist and continued their backward movement.

Her legs hit the bed and she fell backward, pulling James down with her, quickly drowning out her sigh with his mouth. They quickly made work of Lily's shirt and she shivered when their skin touched, quickly pulling him down closer to her, wanting more of him. Mm, his skin was so warm against hers, and his _hands_. Merlin. She ran her fingers lightly along the scar on his back and he groaned into her mouth.

"Sorry," she said, gasping for breath. "Does that hurt?"

"No," he answered, equally breathless. "Felt really good, actually," he said, quickly resuming their…activities. His hands moved from her waist to around her back, and she arched into him as his fingers moved up to the middle of her back.

"Can I…?"

"Yes—" she said before fiercely attacking his mouth again. His fingers were at the clasp when—

"James! Can you come here a minute?" Mr. Potter called from down the hallway.

James groaned, leaning into his elbow and moving off of Lily, fingers abandoning her bra. She was breathing heavily and her heart was moving as quickly as a hummingbird's wings. Merlin, she felt warm all over, but she still wanted James' warmth back on top of her.

"Coming!" he called back. "Fucking great timing," he said, hiding his face in the covers.

"You should go before he gets suspicious," she said, her voice sounding strange in her own ears. She still hadn't caught her breath and her voice sounded high and meek.

James grabbed his glasses from the table and looked at her, his eyes quickly skimming across her exposed skin, making her heart race again, just as it was beginning to calm down. She felt the blush in her cheeks, but not because of embarrassment. Now, she was beginning to worry she wouldn't be able to stay in this house for other reasons besides the cold decor.

"Fuck," he said quietly, looking away again.

"Should I—"

"Don't move," he said, standing up and turning his back to her. She sat up on the bed even though he told her not to move. She watched him put on his jumper and she sighed, disappointed that his amazingly fit body was now covered up with a too-large wool sweater. He didn't notice her ogling through, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

"Sorry," he said, smiling. He kissed her lightly on the mouth and handed Lily her shirt. "You better put that back on, or else I might not be able to leave," he said.

She did as he said. "You better go before—"

"James!"

"Coming!" he roared, a sour expression on his face. Lily giggled and James gave her a look.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked, looking outraged at her amusement.

She snorted and continued to laugh. "'Cause it's funny!" she said. "Hurry up and leave before he comes over here!" she said, standing from the bed and pushing him out the door.

He paused when he was in the hallway, turning around and leaning against the doorframe. "That was a terrible present, by the way," he said, looking miserable.

"What? I thought you were enjoying yourself," she said with a meaningful smile.

He scowled. "Well, if you meant to torture me, then yes, sure, it was great—"

"I wasn't the one who stopped us," Lily said, letting that statement sink in.

James' eyes widened. "So, if my dad—"

"Dunno, Potter," she said. "You'll have to give me another splendid tour to find out." She shut the door on his face before he could respond, laughing to herself and lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She sighed, closing her eyes and wondering how she ever got lucky enough to find James.

.

"Dad," James said, now in a horrible mood. His dad was sitting in his study, reading a book at his desk.

"Jimmy, sit down."

James did as he was told and tried not to be too snappy with his father, lest he discovered what he and Lily were just up to.

"I wanted to have a word with you about what happened with your mother," his dad started.

"We don't have to—"

"Yes, we do," Charles said sternly. "You need to understand, your Mum is just concerned with your safety and in no way does that reflect upon Lily—"

"I know," James said. "I know that."

"Okay," his dad said, nodding. "You should also know that what I did yesterday, yelling at your Mum, that was also very unacceptable, and I'm sorry—"

"Shouldn't you be apologizing to Mum?"

Charles frowned at his desk. "Yes, I tried. She kicked me out of the room."

"Try again."

"I'm going to."

"Now?"

Charles frowned at him. "I'm speaking with you now."

"Okay. What else is there?"

"Am I keeping you from something?" Charles asked, removing his glasses and putting them on the table.

"No," James said, leaning back in his chair and trying to come off as relaxed. "'Course not."

"Okay," Charles said. "I called you in here because I just want you to be careful."

"In regards to…?"

"Everything. Lily, the war, school, everything. You seem very serious about Lily, and I'm very happy for the both of you, but just be careful. You're both young and I'm sure you think that you're very much in love and that it's going to last forever—" Charles put out a finger to prevent James from interrupting, "—and I'm not saying that you aren't. Just be careful. I can't say I remember entirely what it felt like to be your age and in love, but I do remember what some parts were like," Charles said. "Do you understand?" he asked, his blue eyes piercing into James' soul like ice and his words weighing down on his chest like bricks.

"Yes," he answered. "I understand." James wished he were better at Occlumency.

"Good," Charles said, putting his glasses back on his nose. "Dumbledore also had a word with me about the Order. Of course, your mother and I are far too old to be of much help, but I think he intends for you to join. I understand if you want to and I will support your decision. Your Mum, however, will not like the idea of you purposely putting yourself in danger, so I think that if you do decide to join him, that you keep it under wraps," Charles said.

"You want me to lie to Mum?"

"No, son, not lie to her, just don't tell her. It's a very subtle difference."

James looked at his father. "Is everything all right with you and Mum?" he asked.

Charles looked alarmed. "Of course, why wouldn't there be?"

"Just—I don't know."

Charles sighed. "It's been difficult with the war and everything going on. Your Mum is getting older and it's been harder to deal with things we would have been able to face as younger people. And she feels like she's losing a part of that with you and Lily—" Charles stopped talking and closed his face, like he was about to cry. James looked at his father in surprise, unsure of what to do.

"Dad?"

"Sorry," he said, clearing his throat and blinking his eyes. "Sorry," he repeated. "You're a grown man now, James. I shouldn't have to tell you what to do, I trust you can make the right decisions," he said, smiling. "Your Mum and I are very proud of you," he said, nodding. He wiped the corner of his eye with a finger and James was lost.

"Dad, come on—"

"James, you are a great wizard. And your Mum knows that, and she knows, deep down, that Lily will make you extremely happy. Just give her time, okay? She'll come around."

"I know that already," James said.

"Okay, son. Okay. That's all. That's all I wanted to say. And that I love you and I'm proud."

"I love you too, Dad," James said uncomfortably, unsure of what had come over his father.

Charles smiled. "Okay. That's it. Don't break her heart, son, she seems like a great girl. Doesn't like Quidditch much, that's a shame, but still. Smart. Tough. Pretty."

James laughed and stood from his chair. "Go make up with Mum, okay?"

Charles nodded and wiped the corner of his eye again. "I will, Jimmy. Go on."

James left his father's office, feeling a bit strange. He knew his parents were getting old, but he didn't think it would affect them like this.

James was going to return to Lily's room, but then he had an idea. He grabbed his wand and Disapparated from the middle of his room, a plan already forming inside his head.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry, no double chapter today, but I hope you'll be okay with it. Not much action either, but the previous two chapters were packed, so it needed to slow down a bit. **

**Leave a review! Welcome, new followers! :)**


	21. Chapter 21: All Good Things

**21: All Good Things**

Lily fell asleep after James left—the fireplace and the bed were just too comfortable to resist. There was a knock on her door and Mrs. Potter's voice came from behind it.

"Lily? It's James' Mum. Dinner's about ready," she called.

"Oh, okay, I'll be right there!" she called, hastily fixing her hair and the state of her clothes.

She thought she wouldn't be able to find her way back to the Dining Hall, but she had surprisingly remembered more than she consciously believed. They were all there waiting for her.

"Sorry I'm late," Lily said.

"Oh, don't worry about it, dear," Mrs. Potter said, surprisingly giving her a warm smile. She looked to Mr. Potter, who gave his wife's hand a squeeze. Apparently they'd made up.

"Let's eat!" James said.

Dinner was very pleasant and enjoyable. Mrs. Potter seemed to have gotten over her dislike of Lily and was very kind and motherly to her. Sirius kept them all entertained with stories from Hogwarts—parent-appropriate, of course. At the end of dinner, Lily had an idea and brought out her wand.

"Do you mind if I take a picture of you all?" Lily asked as her camera came whizzing into her hands.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked surprised.

"It's a Muggle camera, but—"

"Of course!" Mr. Potter said, gathering them all around. Sirius stood off to the side, finishing his treacle tart.

"Black, get in there," Lily said.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter said, beckoning to her second son.

Sirius wiped his face and stood next to Mrs. Potter, towering over her by more than a foot. James stood at the other end, next to Mr. Potter. Lily snapped the picture and smiled. "Wonderful. Thank you."

"Okay, Mum, we all need to be off now. Thanks for dinner—" James said, whipping her and Sirius away.

"Oh yes, that's right," Mrs. Potter said. "Remus', you said?" she said.

"Yes. Be back late. Don't wait up," James said, shoving coats into Sirius' and Lily's hands and out the door. "Bye!" he called.

"What is going on? You didn't tell me we were going to Remus'—"

"That's 'cause we're not," James said. "Bye, Sirius!" he said, pushing his friend along.

"Have fun! Not too much fun, but…you know!" he said, waving as he got on his motorbike.

"Where are _you_ going?" she asked Sirius.

"Remus'."

"Where are _we_ going?" she asked James.

"Not Remus'."

"I don't understand," she said as Sirius waved, starting his bike and taking off.

"Told Mum we'd be at Rem's, when we're really not. Just so she won't be suspicious if we come back late."

"Where are we really going?" Lily asked.

He grabbed her hand and pulled out his Cloak. "Grab my arm. We're Disapparating."

"To?"

"It's a surprise, Lil. Have a little faith." He threw the Cloak over both of them as she grabbed his arm, the familiar feeling of being pulled through a small tube. When they arrived, he pulled off the Cloak and stuffed it in his pocket. "Welcome to Godric's Hollow. Prepare for your tour," he said with an enormous grin.

Lily laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You lecherous snake."

James laughed before kissing her. "You said you wanted another tour."

"I was joking," she said.

"Well, here it is, in any case. Let's go," he said, grabbing her hand.

"Why did we need the Cloak?" she asked as they entered the small village.

"Muggles live here as well."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yep. And Dumbledore's family used to live here. Also, Bathilda Bagshot? The author of—"

"_A History of Magic_, wow! That's amazing."

They walked through the snowy lane, Lily gazing at the small, quaint cottages that lined the street. James led them to the center of the village, with an enormous tree decorated with lights and baubles. It was beautiful. She brought herself closer to James and he smiled down at her.

They continued their walk through the town and Lily felt that she could live here, so untouched by the war, so frozen it its little bubble. She could see herself growing old here, little black-haired children around her, James by her side…

"It's so wonderful here," she said to him. "It's like I'm in a dream."

"Come on," he said, "there's one more part to the tour."

They walked along another row of houses and stopped in front of a small cottage at the end of the street. He tapped the gate with his wand and led her through the door. He lit the lamps with a flick of his wand and Lily smiled.

The cottage was everything she imagined her future home would look like. She took off her shoes, running her fingers along the couch and looking around.

"This is a beautiful house, James," she said.

"This is the living area. And if you'll follow me to the kitchen…" he said, pulling her along.

But Lily no longer had the desire to look at the other rooms. However…

"Where's the bedroom?" she asked, pulling on his hand.

James stopped and turned around, desire in his eyes. It made Lily feel warm all over, her nerves on high alert. She realized James was wearing too many pieces of clothing. That bloody jumper needed to go. "Lil, I should say that I didn't bring you here to seduce you—"

"That's exactly what you did," she said with a grin. "You even had an excuse for your parents in case you came back late," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Well, I was preparing for all possible—"

She stopped him with her mouth, not disappointed when he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her up the stairs and she took off her jacket, throwing it somewhere on the stairs.

He put her down on the bed and they quickly made work of their shirts.

"Lily," he said.

"No talking," she said, putting his glasses on the table.

"Wait, no, I just—if you want to stop, tell me now, or else, I don't think I'll be able to later—"

"Shut up, James," she said, smiling and pulling him on top of her. He grinned against her mouth and turned out the lights.

.

"Hmm," Lily hummed, her eyes shut and her face pointed in his direction. She was smiling, but he wasn't sure if she was asleep or not. He pushed the hair out of her face and she hummed again.

"Are you awake?" he asked.

"Mm, napping. Tired."

"You know, we _do_ have to go back before morning," he said. "I don't think they'd like it if we slept over at Remus' without telling them."

"I want to sleep over at Remus'. He has a marvelous house," she said, finally opening her eyes and looking at him through her marvelously bright eyes.

He kissed her before he could stop himself.

"James Potter, you are an _excellent_ tour guide," she said, smiling widely at him.

He laughed. "Tour guide?" he asked, running his fingers down her arm.

"Absolutely excellent."

"You're an excellent tourist," he answered.

"This is getting weird," she said, hiding her face and laughing.

"What is?" he asked, grinning.

"This…metaphor. Euphemism. Whatever."

He just smiled at her. "Well, I could just say you're good in—"

"Say another word and I will hex you through that window," she said, pointing behind her. "Oh, Merlin, I didn't even see what you did with the room!" she said, looking around. "Rose petals!"

"Too much?"

"Maybe not on the bed next time," she said, unsticking one from her shoulder. She played with it in front of her face, and then to James' surprise, began levitating it in her hand, making it dance around her fingers like a small animal.

"How are you doing that?" he asked. As far as he could tell, she wasn't hiding her wand anywhere considering she wasn't wearing any clothes…

"What, this?" she asked, making the petal hit him in the face. She grinned. "I've always been able to do this."

"With that much control?" he asked, picking up the petal and examining it.

"Can't you?" she asked. "As a kid—"

"It just happened. I never did things _intentionally _like you just did."

"Oh," she said, shrugged. "I guess I'm just a freak," she said.

"Don't use that word," he said sternly. She smiled at him. "You're not a freak. That's talent. A lot of wizards can't perform wandless magic with the skill you just showed me."

She blushed and picked up the petal with her fingers. "What time is it?"

She could never take a compliment. "Um, nearly one in the morning."

"_Ugh_," she said, closing her eyes again. "We should leave."

"Yes, we should." He stood from the bed, facing her as she brought the covers up to her chin. He noticed her skim her eyes over his chest and he grinned.

"Can you, er, turn around?" Lily asked, blushing.

James laughed. "Seriously?"

"Yes! Turn around!"

"Merlin, Evans," he said, turning around and looking for his clothes. He threw bits of her clothing back to her as he found them, which she thanked him for.

"Won't your parents be suspicious if we come back without Sirius?" she asked.

"They're probably asleep now anyway. And Sirius is free to come and go as he pleases. They wouldn't be suspicious if he stayed over at Rem's, which he is most likely doing."

"Okay, I'm dressed," Lily said.

"Finally. I felt weird talking to a wall."

"Sorry. I just…there's more light and you have your glasses on now—"

James laughed. "My vision isn't _that_ bad," he said. "And besides, it's not like it's something I haven't already explored with other bits of my body, besides my eyes—"

She blushed as he laughed. "Such an arse," she said.

James cleaned up the flowers petals and sheets as Lily washed up in the bathroom. They finished the tour of the house and Apparated from the living room into the Potters' front yard.

"Night, Lil," he said, leaning against her doorframe.

She kissed him lightly. "Night, James."

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you back," she said. "Now leave, quickly, before your parents hear us."

"They're all the way on the other side of the house, upstairs—"

"Go!" she said, closing the door.

He walked back to his room and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. Merlin. Lily Evans.

He looked at the clock. _1:44_. He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, then looked back at the clock when that was unsuccessful. _2:02_.

His head shot up when his door creaked open and Lily snuck in, closing the door silently behind her. She crawled under the sheets with him and he pulled her close, laughing in her hair.

"I don't like sleeping in new rooms alone, even if they're expertly decorated," she said as explanation. "That's the only reason I came in here, just to sleep."

"Okay," he said, wrapping her in his arms and letting their legs intertwine. She sighed against his chest.

"You're so warm," she said, snuggling against him.

"Go to bed, Evans," he said.

"Sorry," she laughed. "I understand now, why you like breaking the rules. It's fun," she said.

"Evans, sleep," he said, laughing.

"Sorry."

She began playing with his fingers, tracing the lines on his palm—

"You have very nice hands," she said.

James groaned. "Merlin, I knew this wasn't going to work," he said, kissing her and effectively shutting her up about his bloody hands. She responded enthusiastically and James was beginning to doubt her excuse about not being able to sleep in new rooms. She took off his shirt and pressed her cold hands against his bare chest, making him shiver.

"Cold," he said against her mouth.

"Sorry," she grinned, putting her hands in his hair instead, running her fingernails along his neck.

"Merlin," he sighed, catching his breath. "Evans, stop doing that."

"What?" she said, doing it again with a knowing grin. "You don't like it?" He didn't respond, but continued to kiss her. She moved her hands to his back and ran her hands along the edge of his scar instead, her fingers cold like ice, but feeling fucking amazing on his skin.

He groaned into her mouth, knowing this could only end badly.

"You should go," he said, scattering kisses along her jaw.

"Why?"

"'Cause my parents are in the house—"

"On the opposite side, upstairs—"

They stopped talking as they both got a bit distracted with one another. He moved his hand under her shirt, and discovered she had neglected to put on a certain piece of clothing—

"This is a bad idea," he said, stopping suddenly and lifting himself up into a plank above her so no part of him was touching her. He couldn't think properly when he could feel her underneath him. He tried not to think about how she wasn't wearing a bra, because that could potentially be disastrous.

She looked up at him with her startling eyes. "If you tell me to go, I will," she said calmly.

Fuck. Shitfuckshitdamnfuck. "You know I can't do that," he said.

She smiled. Actually smiled at his pain. "Do you want me to leave?"

Merlin, no. She knew what this was doing to him and she was purposely exploiting his fucking hormones. Fuck.

"No," he breathed out quietly.

"That's what I thought," she said, her cold hands grabbing his waist and pulling him back down, their mouths meeting like magnets.

Lily fucking Evans.

.

There was a knock on the door. "James, wake up!"

Lily groggily opened her eyes and tried to remember where she was. She saw James lying next to her and she smiled, remembering the cottage in Godric's Hollow, and then returning here and—

"James, get up!" a woman's voice called from the door, knocking more insistently.

Shit!

"James," Lily hissed, shaking him awake. She wrapped one of the blankets around herself and fell onto the floor, wincing when it made a loud noise. Ow. "James, get up!" she hissed from her spot behind the bed.

James stirred and looked at her on the floor. "What are you—"

"Shh! Your mum!"

"James, are you even in there?" the door burst open and Lily kept her head down. "Merlin's beard, James, I've been calling for minutes!"

"Ah, sorry, Mum," he said, putting his glasses on and running a hand through his messy hair. Lily was crouched behind the bed, barely breathing and praying that Andrea Potter didn't walk around the room.

"What time did you get in last night?" she asked him.

"Oh, um, I can't remember. Late. What time is it?" he asked.

"Ten. Owls came for you and Lily about the hearings. Breakfast is ready. I'm going to go wake her right now. Hurry up and get dressed," she said, going to the door.

"Okay, yeah, be right there."

"Oh, and James," his mother said. Lily didn't know how much longer she could hold her breath. "Please clean your room, we have guests," she said with exasperation, shutting the door behind her.

Lily stood up from behind James' bed as soon as Mrs. Potter left the room. She hastily dressed as James began to panic.

"She's going to wake you and you're not there—"

"Cloak! Where's your Cloak?" she hissed at him, trying to ignore how adorable he looked with his hair and half-awake expression. More important things, Lily!

"Oh, um, there!" he said, pointing at the clothes he was wearing last night. "What are you going to do, run past her? That's not going to work, Lily!" She pulled out the silvery Cloak and threw it over her, ignoring him. She opened the door quietly and closed it silently behind her, watching as Andrea Potter walked towards her bedroom. She followed slowly and then ducked into the bathroom. She dropped the Cloak into the tub, quickly fixed her hair and stuffed a toothbrush in her mouth, then wrapped a bathrobe around herself.

"Lily! It's Andrea. Breakfast is ready if—"

Lily opened the door of the bathroom and peeked her head out. Mrs. Potter turned, her hand frozen on Lily's door.

"Morning, Mrs. Potter," she said through the toothpaste. "Sorry," she said, disappearing back into the bathroom to spit and quickly rinse. "Sorry, I heard you knocking, but I'm already awake," she said, smiling.

"Oh, wonderful! Breakfast is ready and you have an owl from Gideon Prewett. Did you sleep well?"

"Very well, thank you. The bedroom is very nice," she said, praying that she didn't go to Hell for lying to her boyfriend's mother. She gave Mrs. Potter a smile, wiping the toothpaste from the corner of her mouth.

"Glad to hear it. Well then, come to breakfast when you're finished," she said, smiling at Lily and walking back down the hallway.

Once Mrs. Potter was gone, Lily closed the door and collapsed onto the floor, breathing hard. Merlin, that was way too close. They couldn't do that again. Even though it was so bloody wonderful—

There was a knock and she scrambled off the floor.

"Oh, bloody hell, James. It's just you," she said, letting him in.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's okay. Here's your Cloak," she said, taking it from the tub and putting it in his hand.

"Shit—"

"I know, it's all my fault, I don't know what I was thinking, that can never happen again—"

"Woah, woah, relax, it wasn't just your fault, I was there too, remember?" he said with a grin.

"You shouldn't be smiling!" she said, unable to keep her smile at bay despite herself.

"Neither should you!" he said, grinning and putting his marvelous hands on her face. He kissed her forehead, his lips moving against her skin. "That was fucking close, Lily."

"I know. We can't do that again."

"Not while my parents are home, at least," he said, grinning.

She smacked his arm. "Get out! I'm supposed to be getting ready!"

"There's only one bathroom in this hall!"

"Then you can go to the other halls!" she said, pushing him out and locking the door behind her. Merlin. Only a week and a half of this to go, and then they would be back at Hogwarts where they could do whatever they wanted—oh, Merlin. Lily took a steadying breath and tried not to think about last night and how easily she had walked into his room and…

Mercifully, there weren't any portraits in this hallway that could tell Mrs. Potter that Lily hadn't slept in her bedroom at all.

.

James read through Gideon's letter, noting that Regulus and Mulciber were to have a joint hearing, which wasn't until after Christmas, so they had time to prepare. Gideon wrote that he would come by after dinner today to go over the procedure and help them with their witness statements.

Lily sat down at breakfast, looking timid and James smiled at her. "Morning," he said, like it was the first time he was seeing her this morning.

"Good morning," she said to everyone. She read her letter from Gideon as she got her breakfast.

His parents finished eating and told them that they both had their respective duties to attend to throughout the day. Sirius Apparated in the dining room halfway through James' breakfast, looking like he hadn't slept at all.

"Did you two have a nice night?" he asked with a knowing grin. Lily blushed and refused to say a word and James just grinned back at his friend. She shot him a dirty look.

"Terrible," James answered. "I got snow in my boots and it was just miserable."

Sirius looked uninterested. "Well, I had a great night with Mary—"

"I thought you went over to Remus'," Lily said.

"I did, then I got bored and went to Mary's. Her parents are never home, so…"

"Okay, well, I'm going to go Christmas shopping today in London. Probably drop in on my mum," she said, standing from the table.

"Want me to come with?" James offered.

"No, thanks. I prefer to shop alone. Besides, we've been spending way too much time together, Potter," she said, walking back to her room. "See you later!"

James watched her go as Sirius grinned at him.

"So?" he asked. "Did you two…?"

James laughed and held up three fingers. "Mum almost caught her in my room this morning."

Sirius laughed and clapped him on the back. "Bloody hell. I thought you were just going to stay in Godric's Hollow—"

"We did, and then we came back here. It was all her, not me—"

"Well done, Prongs. I'm proud of you."

James snorted. "What are we doing today?"

"Dunno. Figured we'd just play Quidditch or something."

"Sounds good to me."

.

Lily took a deep breath as she stood on Spinner's End. She hadn't told James the whole truth about coming here because she knew he would not have accepted it, or he'd insist on coming, and that would have been disastrous. Not that it wouldn't be disastrous without him, but if it was, then at least she could say it was solely Lily's fault instead of his.

She knocked on Snape's door, wary that there could be Death Eaters here now that he was officially part of the team.

Mrs. Snape answered the door and Lily tried for a smile. It didn't work. She never liked Sev's mother, and the feeling was mutual.

"Is Severus home?" she asked.

Eileen Snape gave her a glare worthy of Sev himself. "No." She shut the door on Lily's face. Fine.

Lily went to the park she used to frequent with him once Petunia disowned her. She only had to wait ten minutes before she heard footsteps. When she looked up, she saw Snape standing at the edge of the swing area.

"You came to my house," he stated, obviously wondering why she did such a foolish thing. She stood from the swing and put her hand in her pocket to grip her wand, just in case.

He noticed the movement and sneered. "Are you going to attack me, Lil?"

"I told you not to call me that," she said.

"Why are you here?"

She looked at his dark eyes and felt something inside her shrivel up and die.

"I came to tell you this is the end," she said.

He looked confused. "We haven't been friends since—"

"No, not our friendship. Our civility. Ever since you cursed James—no, don't deny it, I recognized your voice—I realized that all the good in you is gone. You were a coward, cursing James like that, while his back was turned and he was unarmed. It's a waste of my time to hold out hope for you anymore, so this is me, cutting my ties. I can't do this anymore. As soon as we graduate Hogwarts, I will try my hardest to make sure you end up in a cell in Azkaban."

"Lil—"

"I'm not done. James is my family now and if you so much as point your wand in my family's direction again, I will kill you, Snape. If you take a step near my family again, I will kill you."

He looked back at her with shock in his face, but she would not react. Lily turned and Apparated on the spot, ending up in her childhood bedroom in Cokeworth. She hadn't meant to end up here, but it was the first place she thought of. Lily collapsed onto the floor and broke down, crying for her best friend, but not for the stranger he had become. To her, it was as if he had died, and it was for that reason that she was crying. She didn't think there was anything she could do for him now and she only hoped someone else would stop him before she was forced to do it herself. She wiped her face, her resolve turning to steel. This was the last time she was going to cry over Severus Snape.

.

Severus stood in the middle of the park, staring at the spot Lily had just been occupying. The look in her eye had been dead, like she was staring at him with the blackest of souls. His chest felt hollow, but he couldn't feel anything else.

The swing she had been sitting on snapped off the bar and fell into the snow, a sad heap of leather and metal lying on the ground.

No matter how much he wished she would come back, he didn't regret his action of cursing Potter when he'd foolishly kissed Lily in the middle of a battle—

His only regret was that he didn't kill the bastard when he had the chance.

.

"How was your Christmas shopping?"

"Liberating," Lily replied.

James made a face. "That's the first time I've ever heard Christmas shopping described that way. What did you get me?"

"I didn't get you anything," she replied with a coy smile.

"Bullshit. You definitely did."

"Nope. Not a thing. I only buy presents for people I like."

James grinned and kissed her.

"So, does that mean I don't have to get you anything?" he asked. "Since you're not getting me anything."

She raised an eyebrow. "I already told you I wasn't expecting anything—"

"Yeah, but that's just one of those things girl say where you say one thing, but mean the opposite, right?"

She laughed and shook her head. "No. Seriously, you don't need to get me anything."

"See, you did it again." She just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Sirius entered the room, whistling Christmas tunes and holding decorations. "Are you going to help with these, or what?" he said, staring at them.

Lily gave him a look. "I didn't peg you for a Christmas fanatic," she said, flicking her wand and watching as they decorations began to put themselves up by themselves.

Sirius looked a bit scandalized. "The whole point of putting up decorations is doing it without magic," he said, putting the last bauble on the tree by hand.

She rolled her eyes. "You're a wizard, Black. What's the point?"

"Exactly, which was why I never got the opportunity to put up decorations by hand with my extremely non-festive family. Back me up, James," Sirius said.

James shrugged. "I hate putting up decorations, mate. I just do it because you have family issues that need resolving."

Sirius frowned as Lily laughed. "I can take them all down if you want," she said.

He huffed. "Just leave them up."

"I can teach you how to make my mum's Christmas sugar cookies, if you like. By hand. We won't even use the house elves," she offered.

Sirius looked mildly interested. "Fine," he said, stalking into the kitchen.

Lily gave James an amused expression and followed him into the kitchen. James watched them bake, occasionally offering his 'help' by sticking his fingers into the uncooked batter for routine taste tests, which Lily complained about.

In the end, there were very nice looking sugar cookies made by Lily's skillful hands, and Sirius' wonky-looking ones that had no discernable shape at all.

"I prefer yours, Sirius," James commented, one in each hand. "Because I don't feel bad eating them since they're so ugly anyway. Lily's don't deserve to be eaten. They deserve to be in a museum."

Sirius ate a couple of Lily's cookies. "I don't feel bad eating them."

Lily just shook her head. "What else do you two do for fun? Baking is obviously not one of your usual activities."

They went outside and Lily watched as they played Quidditch for a bit, and then walked around the Potter grounds for an hour.

They ate a quick, significantly less extravagant dinner since Mr. and Mrs. Potter were eating out.

Gideon came by and gave them the run down of the hearing, assuring them that he would be there and that it would go smoothly.

James had a feeling it wouldn't be that simple, but he kept that to himself.

.

Lily woke up on Christmas morning beside James, his mouth hanging open and looking marvelous. She giggled into the sheets and checked the time. 5:07. Before Mrs. Potter woke them up. Since she had been doing this for the last couple days, her internal clock was beginning to change, which wasn't helping with her sleep since she and James weren't really sleeping at night either…

She gave James a kiss on the cheek before moving, but he grabbed her arm before she could get out of bed. She turned to him, his eyes still closed.

"Stay a bit longer," he said, pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her.

"I can't," she whispered, ignoring the warm feeling she got when he nuzzled his nose into her neck. "Your snoring is driving me insane," she teased.

"Mm…well, we don't have to sleep…"

"James…" she complained as he began to kiss her neck, slowly moving down. His fingers were roaming beneath her shirt and she exhaled slowly. Merlin, he was barely even awake yet. She had to put a stop to this.

But, damn, it felt so good.

"James, your parents will be up soon and it's Christmas!" she said, somehow managing to put some distance between them.

"Merlin," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Happy Christmas, Evans!" he said, grinning at her with his barely open eyes.

She laughed quietly and kissed him on the nose. "Happy Christmas. I'll see you later," she said, shivering as she stepped out of the warm sheets and away from James' warm body. She wrapped the Cloak around her, as she had been doing the other days, just in case one of the Potters was an abnormally early riser.

"I wish you didn't have to leave, Evans," he said. "This feels cheap somehow," he said, sitting up in his bed. "Lily?" he said, looking around the room with an endearingly confused expression on his face.

She laughed and he tuned in on her location. "I would rather do this than have your mum walk in to find me in your bed. I hardly think she would be impressed."

James frowned. "I know that, I'm just—I don't know. It's too early for this. That's what I mean. I feel like you and I should just be able to sleep in to whatever time and not be worried about having my mum walk in. Do you know what I mean?"

Lily was glad James couldn't see her face right now. The cottage in Godric's Hollow and that haunting image of them with their beautiful, dark-haired children popped up inappropriately into her thoughts and she tried to shake it off. "I should probably go home soon," she said instead. "Mum wants to go back home. She feels like she's intruding on Petunia and Vernon, and I can't blame her for wanting to get out of there."

James put on his glasses. "Lil, you're changing the subject. Can you just come back here for a minute—"

"I'll see you later. I need to get a couple more hours of sleep since…well, you know." Lily left the room quietly and retreated to her room, frustrated with herself for behaving so coldly. She wasn't sure why this was nagging on her, but whenever he started talking like that, all she wanted to do was run.

Lily barely closed her eyes when Sirius went running through the hallway, yelling about presents and Christmas. She groaned, pressing the pillow into her ears, but she couldn't ignore it when he slammed his fist on her door. "Get up, Evans! Presents!" He went to James' door and did the same thing. Merlin.

Lily dressed in her warmest clothes, brushed her teeth and her hair before going to the tree where Sirius was already digging through presents. The Potters weren't up yet.

"Morning," James said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled back at him, hoping he'd ignore the way she had evaded the conversation not ten minutes ago.

"You don't have to do that pretending routine in front of me," Sirius said. Both of them continued to pretend not to know what he was talking about.

"Shouldn't we wait until your parents get here?" Lily asked as James joined Sirius in the presents pile.

He shook his head. "They don't wake up for this. Sirius and I always open presents without them." He picked up the largest one with his name on it and gave it a hard shake. Lily winced when it made a clanging noise. He made a face and put it back down gently.

"You got me a present, Evans?" Sirius said, looking at the box.

She shrugged, smiling. "We're comrades, Black."

"Got you something, too," he said, throwing a present at her. She caught it, surprised.

Sirius tore the wrapping off the present. "_Motorbike Care Kit._"

"Sorry, they didn't have any of the Flying Motorbike Variety," she said.

Sirius beamed at her. "Thanks, Evans. This is brilliant."

"You're welcome."

"Open yours."

She was suspicious, but opened the box-shaped present in her hands. Inside was a pair of knitting needles and a skein of gold yarn. She rolled her eyes.

"Arse," she said.

He laughed. "Thought you might want to knit yourself a scarf," he said, looking like he was the smartest bloke in the room.

She shook her head, mildly amused. "Thanks," she said, half-heartedly.

"No problem. Open yours, Prongs," Sirius said.

"New Quidditch gloves! Thanks," he said, nodding appreciatively at Sirius.

Sirius opened the present from James, and Lily was surprised by what he pulled out of the wrapping. "Shit. This looks expensive," Sirius said, holding up the beautiful leather jacket.

James shrugged. "Mum and Dad pitched in. It's a joint Potter present. Completes the grungy motorcycle gang look you're going for, huh? All you need are facial piercings now."

Sirius snorted and put it on. "Thanks. It's great."

Lily wondered what Mary would say if she could see him in the jacket. Actually, she probably wouldn't say anything since she'd be unconscious on the floor, or hyperventilating into a paper bag.

They opened the rest of the presents and Lily was surprised to find one for her from the Potters. It was a very expensive quill from Scrivenshaft's, one that she had admired on her date with James…

She looked up at James, too surprised to say anything. "Mum wanted to know if you needed anything," he said as she ran her fingers across the soft phoenix-feather. "Unbreakable, this one. So, you know, you won't have any more bad years," James said.

She felt her throat constrict and looked down at the beautiful writing instrument. Sirius had mysteriously disappeared and she smiled at James. "It's perfect," she said, standing and giving James a hug.

"It's not from me," he said, laughing and wrapping his arms around her waist, lifting her feet from the ground.

"I know, but it was your idea," she said, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck and never wanting to leave the comfort of his arms. "It's bloody perfect."

"That's a nice sentiment, but I'm sure it would sound more grateful without the cursing," he said.

She laughed and loosened her hold on him so she could look at his face. "It's perfect. Thank you," she said, giving him her best smile.

He smiled back, filling her with butterflies. "It's not from me, but you're welcome. My present is for later."

"James, I said—"

"I know what you said. And I didn't spend a Knut, promise."

She looked conflicted. "Is it a lock of your hair or something?"

He snorted. "No. I promise it's better than that."

"Okay," she said, smiling.

"But you really didn't get me anything, huh?" James asked, looking through the presents again after he put her down.

She smiled at his dejected face. "Nope," she said.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Liar."

She laughed and took out her wand. "_Accio James' present_," she said, smiling at his uplifted expression. "I'm warning you now, it isn't an expensive quill or a fancy leather jacket," she said, wondering if he'd actually like it.

"I don't care what it is, I just like ripping wrapping paper off of things," he said with a smile. She rolled her eyes, but waited anxiously as he unwrapped it.

He held up the framed picture of them they had taken in her house and waited as he inspected it.

He looked up at her and smiled, the same heart-racing smile he had given her earlier. "It's bloody perfect," he said, looking at it again. "Frozen and perfect."

She smiled. "There's more."

He reached into the box and pulled out the Muggle camera.

"You probably won't use it, but just in case you had the urge to document some frozen moment, you can," she said.

"But this is your dad's," he said.

"He doesn't need it," she said.

James put the camera on the table and gave her a kiss so wonderful and full of ardor, she had forgotten she was standing in the middle of the Potters' living room.

"_Ahem_," said Mr. Potter from the entrance.

Lily turned, her face fuschia as Mr. Potter stared at the ceiling with an uncomfortable expression.

"Morning," he said. "Happy Christmas. I see you've already gotten into the presents," he commented. Lily wasn't sure if he meant the actual presents, or…

"Happy Christmas, Dad," James said, grabbing Lily's hand and holding her in place when she wanted to run away and never come out of the deep, dark hole she was going to dig herself.

"Right."

"Thank you for the quill, Mr. Potter," she said, finding her voice. "It was very thoughtful, thank you," she said.

Mr. Potter finally looked at her in the eye and he smiled. "You're very welcome, Lily. It was all James' idea," he whispered the end bit with a wink.

She smiled and remembered her present for Mr. Potter.

"James told me I didn't need to get you anything, but…" she said, handing him the present. He looked surprised, but pleased.

"James was right, my dear, you didn't need—" his face froze when he saw what she got him.

"I remembered him saying you were only missing the Ptolemy's Chocolate Frog Card and I happened to have it in my collection—"

Mr. Potter surprised her by giving her a swift hug. "Lily, this is the best gift you could give me," he said, a grin on his face. It was strangely similar to James' and she could hear James laughing behind her. "Thank you, my dear, thank you!" he said. "I need to go put it away before anything happens to it," he said, walking quickly to his study.

"Well done, Evans," James said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed the back of her neck. "I swear I only mentioned that once…"

She smiled. "I have a very good memory."

"Thank you for the camera. I'll take very good care of it."

"You're welcome," she said, turning around. "Where were we—"

"Happy Christmas, Mum!" James said suddenly, letting go of Lily and taking a step away from her. Lily turned around and smiled widely—too widely—and tried to act as if nothing was happening.

"Happy Christmas," she said, pretending she hadn't seen anything. "Did you open all of your presents?"

"Yes, thanks—"

"Yes, thank you for the quill. It's perfect," Lily said.

"Oh, you're very welcome, Lily," Mrs. Potter said with a slightly strained smile. Lily grabbed Mrs. Potter's present and handed it to her.

"It's not much, but I thought I should get you something," she said.

Mrs. Potter had the same surprise as Mr. Potter as she opened Lily's gift. "Oh, Lily, it's wonderful," she said.

"It's a Muggle photograph, so it doesn't move, but I could always charm it, if you prefer—"

"It's perfect like this," Mrs. Potter said, putting it on the mantle. A frozen, smiling Potter family looked back at them.

Lily realized this was a very hugging family when Mrs. Potter gave her a short, but meaningful embrace. She looked like she had tears in her eyes when she let Lily go, which startled her. "Thank you," she said. Lily had the feeling she was saying thank you for more than just the photograph.

"You're welcome," she replied, unsure of how to help. Mrs. Potter gave James a hug as well and left the room without a word.

Lily looked at James for clarification, but he just shrugged.

"Maybe you should—"

He nodded and followed his mother out of the room.

She sat on the armchair, emotionally drained after the exchanging of presents. She didn't think present opening had ever been so dramatic. She vaguely wondered where Sirius had gone. She looked at the knitting needles and remembered his first warning about James coming with strings and that he wasn't messing around. She was only beginning to realize what exactly that meant, and if she was being honest, it scared her.

Lily took her new quill out of its box and ran her fingers along its sleekness. _No more bad years_, she thought to herself, realizing with a smile that she still had another present to give James.

.

"I'm going to take your mum to the cottage," James' dad said, bringing the luggage to the front. "I think she needs a break."

"Is she okay? Earlier—"

"She's perfectly fine, Jimmy," his dad said. "Just overwhelmed with everything that's going on. I told you, son, it's strange for her to see you this grown up," he said. "Speaking of grown up…make good decisions," he said, sticking James with a poignant look.

"I always do," James said with a smile. His mum appeared and he gave her a smile. She smiled sadly back. "Mum, sure you're okay?"

"Fine, sweetheart," she said, putting her hand on his cheek. "Be good. Your father and I will see you in a couple days. Please don't wreck the house."

"We'll be fine," he said. "The house elves will put out all the fires before the house burns down, don't worry."

She gave him a smile and held onto her husband's arm. He put up a hand as they Apparated to their other cottage in Somerset.

Peter, Remus and to James' surprise, Marlene showed up around dinner. He greeted his former Assistant Captain with a smile, and she didn't glare back at him, which he took as a good sign.

"Sorry, Prongs, I should have asked—"

"Don't worry, Rem," James said, clapping his friend on the back. "As long as she's okay, I'm okay."

"Okay," he said, giving James a relieved smile.

"Are you two…?"

"Sort of? I don't know. Kind of."

James snorted. "Kind of?"

"It's complicated," Remus said with a grimace.

"Okay, mate," he said, laughing.

The six of them ate a grand dinner and exchanged the remaining gifts, sitting in front of the fire sharing stories and laughs. James procured some mistletoe and made Remus extremely aggravated when he made it levitate over his and Marlene's heads. Marlene finally took the hint and gave Remus a heady kiss, which garnered wolf whistles from the rest of them—pardon the pun.

"I still have to give you your present," James told Lily, who was tucked comfortably under his arm.

"Where is it?" she said, holding her hand out.

"Not here," he said with a grin.

She turned to him with a smile. "Okay. Let's wait an hour, shall we? I have to give you Part Two of yours."

"There's a Part Two?"

She nodded.

"We have to wait an hour?"

She grinned at the tone of his voice. "It'll go by quickly, I promise." She stood from the couch they were sitting on. "More butterbeer!" she yelled, refilling all of their glasses and going into the kitchen for snacks. James watched her go with a smile on his face. Fucking hell, he was so in love with her, he could barely contain it.

.

"Why didn't you invite Mary?" Lily asked, returning with sugar cookies and taking a seat beside the brooding Sirius, who was staring into the fire.

He turned to look at her. "She didn't want to come."

Lily thought that was strange. "Why not?"

He sighed in frustration. "She ended things."

"What?" Lily exclaimed, then remembered there were other people around. "Why?"

"Said she didn't just want things to be casual anymore, and that she didn't want to just see me when I was bored and wanted a shag," he said.

"Sirius—"

"Her words, not mine," he said, grumpily.

"And what did you say?" Lily asked.

"Nothing. Because that's not how I—" he stopped talking and clamped his mouth shut. "I bought her this," he said, pulling a small box out of his pocket. Lily opened the box to see a pretty gold, relatively large, locket lying in the center—expensive. Lily smiled, remembering Mary's extremely apt description of Sirius—rough exterior with a mushy center. This was exactly Mary's taste and she would have loved it.

"Did she see this?" Lily asked, surprised that Mary would turn down jewelry from Sirius Black and end things like that.

"I didn't give it to her," he said.

"Why _not_?" she said, hitting his arm. "She would have loved it!"

He sighed and rubbed his face. "I don't know! She was upset and I didn't know what to do, and she was crying—"

"Bloody hell, Sirius!" she said. "That's when you bring out the jewelry and kiss the damn girl!"

He groaned. "I don't want to talk about this, Lily. Merlin. It was such a disaster. She probably hates me."

"What did you do, just stand there while she cried?"

He gave her a helpless sort of look. "I didn't know what do to!"

"Black!"

"Fuck, I know! What do I do?"

She put the box back in his hand. "Do you want to keep seeing Mary?"

"Yes, but not like how she described it. Merlin, was that what I was doing? Just going over for a shag? Shit, I didn't—"

"Look, if you really want to save this, you will go back right now, give her this locket and explain to her what you just told me."

"I didn't tell you anything!" he said.

She smiled. "She'll understand, Sirius. Trust me, she's a romantic at heart, but anything you say will be enough. She's had a major crush on you since third year."

Sirius smiled weakly and stood up, taking a final swig of his butterbeer. "Fuck—you just want me to stand there and tell her—"

"What you told me. You don't want to keep seeing her the way you were before because she means more to you than just a…physical diversion." Sirius smirked at that description. "Then give her the jewelry and sweep her off her feet," she said, patting him on the arm.

"Right," he said. "Thanks, Evans."

"Don't fuck it up," she said as encouragement.

He laughed and gave her a hug. "I'll try."

She patted him awkwardly on the back. She was getting lots of hugs today.

"Bye!" Sirius called into the room, putting his leather jacket on and holding up a hand as everyone else said goodbye.

"Has it been an hour yet?" James asked her when she came back to sit beside him.

"Tell everyone to go home," she said with a smile.

"Out!" he said instantly, making her laugh. "Everyone out!"

"Goodnight!" Lily called out to her friends' backs, which were already out the door thanks to James' incessant pushing.

"Present time!" he said, pulling her to her feet. She laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time after her realization that morning.

James put out his arm and she grabbed it, knowing already where they were going.

"Me first," he said, as they Apparated in the middle of the cottage in Godric's Hollow. Inside his hand was a small, golden key. "Not that this house is actually protected with just a key, but I thought the symbolism was appropriate," he said, putting it in her hand.

"I don't understand," she said. "Key to what?"

He spread out his arms. "This house. Our house. After we graduate."

Lily stared at him, feeling the air leave her lungs. "You're giving me a house?"

"It's already mine, so I technically didn't pay for it. And I'm not _giving_ it to you, because I have to live her too, but yes. Technically, I'm giving you a house."

Lily couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe.

"Lily?"

"James. It's…"

"Too much?" he asked. "Look, I know you've been trying to avoid this every time I try to bring it up, but I want to talk about it. I love you, Lily, and I'm sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Don't freak out, this isn't a marriage proposal—" he said, and she let out a small breath of relief, "—we're only seventeen, for Merlin's sake. But I know you're going to need somewhere to live once you graduate. You're not going back to Cokeworth. So, live with me. In Godric's Hollow."

Lily's brain was starting to work up again. Live with James after graduation, in Godric's Hollow, in this marvelous cottage.

"Okay," she said, nodding and smiling. "Yes."

"Yes?" James repeated, beaming. "Yes!"

She laughed as he lifted her in his arms, pressing his mouth to her neck as he laughed happily.

"Your mum is not helping us decorate."

"Deal," he said, kissing her enthusiastically.

"Okay, okay, wait, I have to give you your second present," she said, patting his shoulder to get him to put her down.

"Mm, later, I'd rather do this," he said against her mouth, putting her down on the couch and running his hands up her shirt.

Lily woke up a couple hours later in the bedroom, James lazily running his fingers up and down her back. She sighed into the pillow and kept her eyes closed.

"Mm, fell asleep," she said.

He paused his finger movements only briefly before restarting. "I napped for a bit too."

"I need to show you your gift," she said.

"Okay. Do you have it with you?" he asked.

She nodded, putting on some clothes first before grabbing her wand. "I've been practicing…_Expecto Patronum_."

A small silver doe burst forth from her wand and pranced around the room, as graceful and beautiful as James' stag. James watched, slack-jawed at the apparition.

"I was scared when I first realized what it was," she said. He turned to look at her, but he still hadn't said anything. "That's why when you kept talking about, you know, living together and all that, I got scared. And confused. I know I love you, but this, somehow felt like more than that, you know? At first, I thought that my original Patronus had changed to mimic my feelings for you, which I read could happen sometimes," she said, putting a hand to her doe and smiling, "but then I realized that if that was the case, then my Patronus would be a stag, like yours, and not a doe."

"When—" he cleared his throat and started again. "When did you find out?"

"I managed to get a corporeal one a couple days ago," she said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Like I said, I was scared. I didn't know what it meant that we had complimentary Patronuses and I sort of freaked out a little bit. I mean, I know everyone always says things are going to last forever, but in my experience, good things don't always last. So when I saw this, it was like the final proof that this—this wonderful thing we have—was destined to end soon, and I got scared—"

"Lily," James said, cupping her face and staring straight into her soul. "I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled. "I know. I realized that this morning. But that doesn't mean that you won't be taken from me, or I'll end up being killed, or—"

"Stop. Nothing like that is going to happen," he said.

"Even if it does, it doesn't matter because I realized something," she said.

"What? A way to survive a Killing Curse?" he asked dryly.

"No, but that we're—Merlin, I don't know how to say this without sounding insane—but we're _soul_-partners, James. We're bloody _soul-partners_."

James burst out laughing and kissed her. "Fucking yes, we are."

She laughed. "Right. So no matter what happens, we're in this together, right? And even if it ends, I can at least know it was all worth it because we were meant to be, and even if it ends prematurely, at least it happened, so I know there will be no regrets."

"Nothing's going to happen, Evans," he said, kissing her lightly. "We're fine. And if something does come up, I can teach you to become an Animagus and we can live in the forest forever as deer and never see another human being again," he said with a grin.

Lily laughed, feeling giddy with happiness. "I don't think I can live solely off plants," she said.

He smiled. "We'll manage," he said. He paused to think. "So, should we start referring to one another as soul-partners? Like, hello John, meet my soul-partner, Lily Evans."

She burst out laughing at the absurdity of that sentence and shook her head. "I think we can stick with girlfriend/boyfriend in public," she said.

"But alone, soul-partner?" he asked with a mocking grin.

"Ugh, you're not going to give it up, are you?" she said, laughing. "I thought it was better than soul-mate, don't you think?"

"Much better, yes. Soul-mate is much too generic," he said, kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you back, soul-partner."

James laughed and she sighed, wrapped in his arms, and feeling all was right with her soul, thinking that maybe not all good things had to end.

* * *

**Author's Note: Very cheesy and corny, I know. But I had to. I felt like Lily and James needed a break from all the shitty stuff going around, and it's Christmas. **

**Next chapter is going to be much less happy, unfortunately. **

**Please leave a review! And welcome new followers! Say hello, I'm very friendly. :)**


	22. Chapter 22: Must Come to an End

**22: Must Come to an End**

James felt the chill of the Dementors' presence in the courtroom at the Ministry of Magic. Lily gave him a small smile that he tried to return, but he couldn't quite reciprocate. He tried thinking of all the time he and Lily had spent together in Godric's Hollow, but even that was not helping. He felt almost as if the past week hadn't happened at all.

"I wouldn't mind having Stag and Doe here, don't you think?" James whispered to Lily.

"But then everyone would know we were soul-partners," she whispered back, trying for a laugh. The Dementors almost turned in their direction and his response laugh died in his throat.

Mercifully, the Dementors left as soon as Mulciber and Regulus were seated in the middle of the courtroom. He wiped his hands on his pants and Gideon patted him on the back. He could barely listen to their statements with the lingering bad feelings the Dementors left with him, along with the anxiety. It wasn't until Crouch called James' name that he actually understood what was happening.

Lily squeezed his hand before he stepped forward. Mulciber glared at him, and his Youth Representative, Lucius Malfoy, gave him a haughty, unimpressed look. He remembered Malfoy from his earlier days at Hogwarts, a Slytherin Prefect, and most likely a Death Eater, along with Mulciber and Reg.

"Please state your full name," Crouch said to him.

"James Charles Potter," he said, clearing his throat. He noticed half-moon spectacles amongst the other witches and wizards of the Wizengamot, and he realized Dumbledore was here.

"And I'm told you have evidence against Mr. Black and Mr. Mulciber?"

"Yes, Sir. I was present when Mulciber and Black were going to use Unforgivables on Muggles on direct order from Voldemort himself."

Crouch narrowed his eyes at James' use of the Dark Lord's name. "Very well. You say they were going to use Unforgivables."

"Yes, they intended to, but they didn't get the chance. Lily Evans, who was also there with me at the time, interrupted Mulciber before he got the chance to. Voldemort incapacitated Lily, which was when I interrupted and attempted to stun a couple Death Eaters, but I was stopped. Voldemort then told us we had to duel with Mulciber, Black and the other two recruits, where Black used the Cruciatus Curse on me and Mulciber used the Imperius on Lily Evans."

"Mr. Crouch, if I may," Lucius Malfoy said, stepping in. James turned to look at him, feeling his insides crawl with disgust.

Crouch frowned. "Yes?"

"I believe I am allowed to question the witness, to prove he has given an accurate testimony, am I correct?"

"Very well," Crouch said, still frowning at Malfoy.

Malfoy smirked. "Mr. Potter. Do you have any definitive proof that Regulus Black was present at the events you described?"

James glared at Malfoy. "He put me under the Cruciatus Curse."

"Yes, but I believe that these Death Eaters, they wear masks, do they not?"

"Why don't _you_ answer that, Mr. Malfoy—"

"Mr. Potter," Crouch warned.

"Yes, they were wearing masks," James bit out.

"So, unless Mr. Black removed his mask, you could not be sure that it really was Mr. Black who cursed you—"

"He spoke to me," James interrupted, his anger threatening to bubble over. "While I was under the curse, he spoke to me."

"What did he say?" Crouch asked.

"He said, 'Not so tough without my brother around, eh, Potter?'."

"He said this while you were under the Cruciatus?" Malfoy asked.

"Like I said." James told himself to remain calm. Malfoy wanted this to happen and he wasn't going to let it.

"I believe the Cruciatus is a very painful experience, is it not, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes," James said, not sure if he could get through an entire sentence without exploding.

"Please describe how you felt."

James glared as hard as he could, his fists so tight that his nails were beginning to dig into his palms. "Pain everywhere. Like knives."

"Were you screaming, Mr. Potter?"

James bit the inside of his cheek and tasted blood. "Yes."

"So, am I right in assuming that while you were in immeasurable pain, screaming because you could barely contain it, that you were somehow able to pick out Mr. Black's voice and remember what he said to you?" Malfoy asked, with just the right amount of skepticism in his voice to produce doubt in the members of the court.

James could barely keep from running up and punching Malfoy in the jaw.

"I heard Regulus' voice," he said angrily, barely able to contain his contempt.

Malfoy almost smiled. "How do you know Mr. Black?"

"We both go to Hogwarts."

"But surely, that's not enough contact for you to be able to recognize his voice."

"His brother, Sirius Black, is my best friend," James said, wondering where this was going. "And I am Head Boy, while Regulus is Prefect."

There was a glint in Malfoy's eye. "Sirius Black. Regulus' older brother."

"Yes."

"And I believe that both Sirius and Regulus Black are very similar in appearance."

"Yes," James answered stiffly.

"Even sound the same," he said. James went stiff and refused to reply. Malfoy didn't care, he just kept going. "So, is it possible," Malfoy said, looking at the crowd, like an entertainer. "That you, in your fit of pain, mistakenly heard Sirius Black, who sounds remarkably similar to Regulus, and incorrectly identified him?"

"Sirius is not a Death Eater!" James yelled angrily. A couple members of the court began to whisper and James forced himself to calm down. He couldn't bear to look at Regulus' face right now, or else he would actually attack him. He remembered to stick with the facts. "While _Regulus_ had me under the Cruciatus, Lily Evans was able to stun him in order to help me. That was when Auror Fabian Prewett was able to capture him. If Sirius Black was the Death Eater who had cursed me," he said, with a dry laugh, "how would Regulus have ended up on the ground where Lily put him?"

Malfoy smiled menacingly, like a wolf waiting in the shadows. "No more questions, Mr. Crouch."

"Mr. Potter, you're dismissed," Crouch said. James stood from the seat stiffly, his hands still curled into fists in his hands. His palms were raw.

"Lily Evans!"

James passed by Lily, not even able to look at her properly because of the anger he still felt. He felt her fingers on his arm as she passed and that helped to relieve some of the tension, but it returned even worse when he realized that she was going to be questioned by that snake Malfoy.

"You did well, James," Gideon whispered to him as Lily stated her name for the court.

"I fucking hate him," James hissed venomously.

Gideon nodded solemnly. "You and every other Auror."

James listened with anxious anger as Lily told Crouch her account of what happened.

"Mr. Mulciber had you in an Imperius Curse, you say?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, confident and much calmer than James had been in the chair. "I could recognize Mulciber's voice inside my head, telling me to kill James Potter," she answered, a slight tremor entering her voice at the mention of James.

Malfoy stepped in and James bit his tongue painfully, his entire body going rigid. Gideon noticed James' discomfort and put a hand on his shoulder. "She'll be fine. She's tougher than you and I together," he whispered to James.

"When you say you recognized Mulciber—"

Lily got that look in her eye that told James she was about to give Malfoy a beat down. "I have had many classes with Mulciber, I know what he sounds like. He also, unlike Regulus, took off his mask, making it possible for me to visually confirm it was him. Voldemort—" there was a flutter of whispers of surprise, which Lily ignored, "—also said his name many times as he was ordering him to kill me. Mulciber also used the Imperius twice on a friend of mine at school and I am familiar with what the Imperius feels like. And no, I did not try to kill James Potter of my own free will, in case you were going to accuse _me_ of being a Death Eater along with Sirius Black," she finished, her eyes flashing like blazing beacons of light.

James almost laughed with the amount of pent-up tension that was in his body right now. Gideon's mouth was hanging open like a broken door and the court was whispering amongst themselves. James wasn't sitting particularly close to Malfoy, but even he could see the vein that was pulsing in Malfoy's forehead. James almost whooped out loud. Lily Evans, his soul-partner.

Fuck, he loved her so much.

Lily stared impassively at Malfoy as he recovered. "Ms. Evans, I believe that you were involved in a stunning incident whereby you stood up in the middle of breakfast at Hogwarts and stunned Mr. Mulciber, unprovoked. Am I correct?"

"No," Lily said. "It was not unprovoked. As I stated before, Mulciber had my friend under the Imperius—"

"Did said friend ever explicitly tell you Mulciber used the Imperius on her?" Malfoy snapped, all facades broken down.

"No," Lily replied.

"And Mulciber was recently suspended from Hogwarts for alleged attacks on James Potter. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Are you currently in a relationship with James Potter?"

Lily blinked. "I don't see how that's relevant."

"Malfoy," Crouch said. "How is it relevant?"

"It is, I can assure you," Malfoy replied.

Lily squinted. "Yes, James Potter and I are in a relationship."

Malfoy smiled. "So, is it possible that you are currently trying to frame Mulciber for the alleged attacks on your, ah, boyfriend, James Potter?" Malfoy asked.

James was so angry, he was going to kill Malfoy—

Lily turned to look at him, her eyes meeting his for a split second. Her head moved almost unperceptively, telling him no, and he sat there, unable to do anything but watch.

"Ms. Evans?" Malfoy snarled.

"I saw Mulciber during the Death Eater attack and tried to convince him to let the Muggles go. He took off his mask and I clearly saw his face, as clear as I can see it now. He used the Imperius on me, tried to get me to kill James Potter, yes, my boyfriend, which I resisted, since he isn't a particularly _strong_ wizard. He was working under Voldemort's orders and he is a Death Eater. Those are the facts and nothing else you can say will cover those up under false accusations of Death Eaters or misidentification, or even accusations of framing, Mr. Malfoy."

Malfoy was glaring at Lily in full now and James felt himself relax. Gideon was right. Lily was tougher than both him and Gideon put together.

"No more questions," Malfoy bit out. Lily stood from her seat and calmly made her way back to James.

She sat down beside him and he grabbed her hand, which was trembling like pebbles in a stampede. He squeezed tightly and wished he could transfer to her all the love that he had in his body.

"Mr. Malfoy," Crouch said. "These two individuals were clearly seen under the orders of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, with intent to use Unforgivables on Muggles and use of Unforgivables on Mr. James Potter and Ms. Lily Evans. The court will now rule—"

"Mr. Crouch, one last thing," Malfoy the snake said. "These two boys—for they are just boys," James scoffed, "were operating under fear. Fear of a dark wizard who threatened to kill them if they did not do as they were told. They are only boys. Barely seventeen, attending Hogwarts, Mr. Black in his sixth year and Mr. Mulciber in his seventh. Surely, you," he said, speaking to the court, "would not put two Hogwarts students, threatened with their _lives,_ inside a cell in Azkaban for only doing what they did for their own safety?" Malfoy pleaded, looking almost genuinely concerned for their good fortune.

James was outraged. Lily was gripping his hand so hard, he could barely feel his fingers anymore, but he didn't care. This was ridiculous.

"They are still growing, learning boys. If you must punish them, punish them for performing magic outside of school grounds, but this should not be a matter of putting two innocent, young wizards, full of potential, in cells to rot for the rest of their lives." James thought Regulus was shedding tears. Bloody hell! "What these boys need is not punishment, but _protection_. Protection from a Dark Lord who has threatened not only their lives, but the lives of others as well. Do not punish them, my friends. Give them a fighting chance and protect our young ones from the evil grip of the Dark One."

Gideon swore under his breath and James knew they had lost. There was no way they were going to put them in Azkaban after that speech. Fucking Malfoy. James and Lily may as well been Flobberworms with the amount of convincing they did of the court. James felt as if the Dementors were back in the room as he counted the majority of hands rise in favor of releasing Mulciber and Black. Lily wasn't holding his hand anymore, but she looked lost, like her memory had been wiped and she could no longer remember her name.

They continued to sit there as the courtroom emptied.

"Both of you were very commendable," said a calm voice.

James looked up and his eyes fell upon Dumbledore. His expression was unreadable.

James didn't know what to say.

"You voted for them, didn't you, Albus?" Gideon asked.

Dumbledore gave him a small smile. "Help will always be given at Hogwarts for those who ask it," he said simply.

James thought he should feel something, but nothing was coming. He should have known Dumbledore would not vote to send them to Azkaban. He knew Dumbledore's stance on Dementors. They were still his students, after all.

"I'd like to go home," Lily said quietly. Gideon nodded and ushered James and Lily out of the courtroom. Dumbledore gave them one last smile as they parted ways.

"It's all right. Dumbledore will keep an eye on them while they're at Hogwarts and once they're out, we'll get them," Gideon said. "They're only boys, after all."

"Bloody hell, not you too," James said. Regulus and Mulciber were far from boys and they were not threatened with their lives. That was utter bullshit.

Gideon sighed. "Dumbledore was right. And so was Malfoy, even though it makes my insides shrivel up to admit that. They really are just boys. And it will be a dark time indeed when we start sending Hogwarts students into Azkaban," Gideon said sadly.

"They _knew_ what they were doing, and they bloody _enjoyed_ it," James argued.

"Just leave it, James, you did the best you could," Gideon said.

The rest of the walk back was silent. When they arrived back in the Atrium and saw Mulciber with his family, and the Blacks—

"Don't you dare, Potter," Lily glared at him, a hand on his chest. "Attack them in the middle of the Ministry, and I promise you that I will not break you out of Azkaban. You saw Malfoy in there. He's relentless. Do not do something you will regret when the Dementors are sucking out your soul," she said. "That's mine, remember?" she said softly, with a ghost of a smile on her face.

He clenched his jaw and nodded stiffly, following Gideon out. She held his hand, reminding him not to do anything stupid, and they exited the Ministry.

Gideon escorted them home, repeating his words that they did a good job and that he was sorry for Malfoy being a prick, and that they would get them in a end, and that they were only boys. James and Lily nodded stiffly as Gideon stopped in to talk with James' parents.

"What happened?" Sirius asked anxiously. Remus and Peter were waiting with him.

"They got off," James said, collapsing onto the couch. Lily curled up next to him.

"What?" Remus exclaimed as Sirius groaned. "How?"

Lily recounted the gist of what happened, and healed the cuts on James' hands, almost absentmindedly. Sirius, Remus and Peter listened raptly and Sirius swore loudly when she told him what Malfoy accused him of.

"Fucking Malfoy. Never liked him when he was Prefect. Pretty sure he's related to me somehow…oh, the fucker's married to my cousin, that's it!" He continued to swear about Malfoy and Mulciber for quite some time as they listened to him rant. He said all the things they neither had the energy, or the creativity for. Remus and Peter looked dejected.

"We saw your parents," James said when Sirius just about cooled down.

He swore again. "Delighted their perfect son got off, huh?"

"I almost attacked them in the middle of the Ministry," James said blankly.

Remus frowned. "What is wrong with you two? Why are you so…dead?"

"Dementors," Lily responded.

Sirius continued his colorful rant, about what, James was now unsure, while Remus disappeared into the kitchen. He came back with chocolate and stuffed it into their hands. "Eat it."

James and Lily did as he said, and James felt a little better afterward, but still terrible. Lily had some of the color back in her cheeks, but she still looked miserable.

"I'm going to take a nap," she said, letting go of James' hand. "I'll see you all later, right?" she said. They all waved and assured her they'd be around.

"You're going to have to watch your back as soon as we get back to Hogwarts," Peter said. "Mulciber and Reg are not going to forget this."

"I'll handle Reg," Sirius said.

"No, you won't," James said. "We're doing this right. We wait, let Dumbledore watch them while they're at Hogwarts, then as soon as they're out, we catch them as part of the Order and put them away. That's how we're doing it. Nothing else."

Sirius was glaring murderously into the flames. He stood and walked out of the room without a word. James sighed.

"We'll go after him," Remus said, putting a hand out. "We'll drop by later. Don't worry about him, he's just conflicted about Regulus. Part of him's happy that Regulus is not in Azkaban, but the other part knows he probably should be. It's too complex for a man of Sirius' simplicity to handle," Remus said with a sad smile.

"Just make sure he doesn't blow up half of England," James said tiredly.

"We'll take care of it," Peter said, following Sirius out the door. James heard the roar of Sirius' motorbike and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Gideon came out his dad's study and said goodbye to James, promising they'd see each other soon. James thanked him for everything, and told his parents that he was going to take a nap.

He wasn't surprised to find Lily in his bed when he walked in. He locked the door behind him and slipped under the covers with her. She reached for his hand, her eyes open, but unseeing.

"You were amazing in there, Lily," James said.

She smiled at him, seeming to come back alive. "And you lost your temper."

"That tends to happen when I'm around idiots," he responded.

She managed to laugh. That made him feel better than the chocolate. "He really was a prick, wasn't he?"

"The worst. And you used to think I was a prick. Was I ever that bad?"

"I didn't lose my temper with Malfoy."

James raised his head. "What does that mean?"

She laughed, this time more naturally. She shuffled closer to him and rested her hand on his chest, making soothing circles with her fingers.

"You didn't answer the question. Was I more of a prick than Malfoy?" he asked, concerned with her lack of response.

She smiled, closing her eyes. "Of course not, Merlin."

He played with her hair, the soft tresses flowing through his fingers. Her breathing became deeper and he closed his eyes, letting himself drift off to the sound of her breathing.

.

Lily had a dream James was being tortured by Lucius Malfoy, with a snake as a wand, and he was shouting _Crucio_ over and over again.

"Lil? You're dreaming," James' voice said, his hand on her face.

She opened her eyes and looked around. His bedroom.

"Sorry, what time is it?" she asked. Damn, they'd slept for two hours.

"Nearly dinner," he said, yawning. "I'm surprised my parents haven't come in here yet."

"They may have, we were just sleeping."

"Well, good thing we're both wearing all our clothes," he said. She smiled, even though it was far from funny.

"Feeling better?" he asked, stretching his arms.

"A bit."

"What were you dreaming about?" he asked her.

"Nothing. Don't remember."

"Mm. I'm starving. Let's find some food."

They left James' room and found a note in the kitchen from Mr. Potter, saying that they were out. Sirius still hadn't returned, but the house elves had left out food for them.

James seemed to be in a much better mood, the events of earlier that afternoon forgotten. Lily tried to play along, but Mulciber kept nagging at her brain. How were they going to go back to Hogwarts with these people? Dumbledore could only do so much.

Lily and James were eating ice cream by the fire when Mr. Potter came home.

"Dad," James said in greeting. "Where have you—what's wrong?" he asked when he saw Mr. Potter's face. Lily sat up at James' tone of voice and put her ice cream down.

"Jimmy, we need to go to St. Mungo's," Mr. Potter said, his face sullen and pale.

"What?" James said. "Is Mum—is she okay?"

"We need to go now. Lily, please, would you come?" Mr. Potter asked.

"Yes, of course."

They got their things and quickly made their way to St. Mungo's. Lily grabbed James' hand, which felt as cold as a Dementor's stare.

Lily waited outside as James sat by Mrs. Potter's bed. She couldn't see his face, but his shoulders were slumped and he was grabbing her hand. Mr. Potter came outside and sat next to her on the bench.

"Is she going to be okay?" Lily asked.

Mr. Potter shook his head, his face crumpling like a ball of parchment in her hand. She put her hand on his back, shocked at the amount of emotion he was showing her. She let Mr. Potter cry into his hands, not saying anything. She wished Sirius were here.

"She began getting sick back in July, but we didn't tell James because we didn't want him to worry while he was in school. She didn't want to get treatment because she said she didn't want to live at St. Mungo's, dependent on the Healers when there were sicker people—"

Mr. Potter choked and Lily held his hand. "She didn't even ask me, she just made the decision by herself, like she was the only one it would affect. I still need her and—" he succumbed to more of his tears and Lily felt lost.

"How much longer does she have?" Lily asked.

"Not long," he replied. "In July, it was six months, but that's almost up now. She was doing better, she was, after James came home. She looked happier…"

James came back out, his face unreadable. He looked like a wax figure of himself. "She wants to talk to you," he said.

Mr. Potter stood and James shook his head. "Lily. She wants to talk to Lily."

Mr. Potter nodded and smiled at Lily, who stood in surprise. She squeezed James' hand in passing, but he hardly responded.

"Mrs. Potter?" Lily said as she entered. She sat beside the bed and kept her hands in her lap. Mrs. Potter opened her eyes and smiled.

She sighed tiredly. "James really did do well," she said. "You're a wonderful girl, Lily."

"Oh, Mrs. Potter—"

"Please, call me Andrea. I don't want to be called Mrs. Potter when I'm dying on my deathbed."

Lily smiled and nodded. "Okay, Andrea."

"Do me a favor, sweetheart," she said, holding her hand out. Lily took it and tried not to notice how thin and frail it seemed. She only just noticed that Mrs. Potter had the same color eyes as James. "Take care of James, will you? Don't let him do anything reckless or put himself in unnecessary danger."

"Of course not," Lily said, feeling her chest ache for this woman she barely knew.

"I know he wants to join Dumbledore's Order to fight. And I can't stop him. But you promise not to let him get killed, right?" she asked.

"I promise."

Andrea smiled weakly. "I don't know if you two have talked about this at all, but you make him so happy, I've barely seen him shine like this in all my life." Lily felt the tears collect at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away. "Thank you," she said, closing her eyes.

"Andrea?" Lily said, squeezing her hand.

"Oh, I'm not dead yet, sweetheart. Just napping," she said, smiling with her eyes closed.

Lily laughed in relief. "I'll get James and Mr. Potter," she said, giving Andrea's hand another squeeze before letting it go.

She told them to go in and assured Mr. Potter that she'd be right back, she was just going to find Sirius.

She Apparated to James' room and looked for his mirror. "Sirius Black!" she called into it. "Emergency, it's Lily!" she said.

She waited a few minutes until he finally showed his face. He looked terrible.

"Sirius, what the hell?" she said. "Are you drunk?"

"What do you want?" he asked sharply.

She frowned at him. "Mrs. Potter is in the hospital. She's not doing well," she said.

"What?" he asked, his eyes widening and face going blurry as he stood up. "Where is she?"

"St. Mungo's."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes."

The mirror went dark and Lily sighed, going back to St. Mungo's with a heavy heart.

"Fuck, Lily, where is she?" Sirius said when he found her sitting in the hallway alone.

She frowned at him. "You're not going in like that."

"What do you mean? I want to see her—"

She took out her wand and cast a couple sobering charms on him and conjured some cologne to mask the smell of the alcohol. He groaned and grabbed his head, the effects of the hangover catching up to him.

"Merlin, Evans," he said, scowling at her.

"I'm not going to yell at you now, though I should. Go in. I told her you were coming." She handed him a breath mint.

Sirius glared at her but took the mint and did as she said. Lily watched from the window as Sirius bent down to give Andrea a hug and made her laugh with his charm. James hadn't said a word since he told Lily to go inside and she was beginning to worry about him. She wished he would say something.

Sirius came back out after a while and sat next to Lily on the bench.

"Why are you out here?" he asked.

"It's stuffy in there," she responded. "And I feel like an intruder."

Sirius nodded. "Thanks for calling me," he said. "And cleaning me up."

"Don't mention it."

They sat in silence for a while.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Like in general, or specifically, right now?" he asked dryly.

"Both."

He sighed. "I don't fucking know, Evans. I have a very complicated life."

"What about Mary? You haven't spoken about her since Christmas."

His face went dark and he looked at the ground. Lily groaned. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing. I didn't go back that night when you told me to."

"Why not?" she asked, looking aghast. "Sirius! You could have fixed things!"

He shook his head. "I don't think I could have. Besides, she probably would have thought I went out to get the locket after I left and that I was only there to restore the previous arrangements—"

She groaned again. "Bloody hell."

"What?" he snapped. "It's none of your damn business anyway."

She glared at him. "Mary is a very good friend of mine—"

"Yeah, which is why you haven't seen her or talked to her since the break started, hm?" he said, hitting her right in the soft spot.

Lily stopped and looked straight ahead of her, feeling the guilt eat away at her from the inside.

"You're right. I'm a shit friend."

Sirius sighed. "Not shit, just bad," he said.

She snorted. "Right. Thanks."

"I'm sorry," he bit out. "I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay. I said you could be honest with me about things like this."

"Yeah, but I didn't need to be so mean—"

Lily gave him a wry smile. "Apologizing for being mean? Merlin, did I alter something in your brain with those sobering charms?"

He scowled. "Whatever. I'm sorry."

She smiled at him. "Sorry for bothering you about Mary. I know I'm a bad friend, but I do consider her to be a good friend of mine. You know, I think you and her could be good together—"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not like you and James. I can't be that loyal to one person—"

"Your animagus is a dog!" she whispered. "That's the animal of loyalty!"

He stared at her, his grey eyes wide. "How did you know that?"

"James told me," she said, forgetting that he didn't know she knew. Damn.

"Fucking James!" he said, standing up and pacing. "Knew he couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut!"

"What's the problem?" she said. "Why is it such a big deal?"

He glared at her and she recoiled from it. He stopped pacing and pulled on his hair, then sat down, all in very quick succession. Lily still hadn't moved.

"Argh, fuck. I don't even know. I just don't want to think about anything right now. It's too much."

She put a cautious hand on his shoulder and patted. "Sorry that I know your biggest secret and you had no choice in the matter," she said simply.

He grunted and put his head in his hands. "Seems unfair."

She smiled. "What, you want to know a secret about me?"

He shrugged. "Do you even have any?"

"Bloody hell, yes."

He waited, his eyes narrowed.

She sighed, thinking. "My Patronus is a doe."

"What?" Sirius said.

She looked at him. "Don't tell James I told you, but yeah, it's a doe."

"You know James is a—"

"Stag, yes. The serendipity of it all didn't escape us."

Sirius laughed. "Bloody hell."

"It's a bit too perfect, actually. I would have rather been something magical. Like a…I don't know, like a Hungarian Horntail, or something."

Sirius snorted. "You certainly have the right disposition."

She grinned. "So, is your dog's fur the same color as your hair?" she asked.

He scowled. "Piss off."

"What? I want to know."

"Maybe."

"Can I call you Padfoot now, or would that be weird?" she asked, laughing.

"Weird."

"I'm going to do it anyway," she said.

He rolled his eyes. "Should I call you Prongette?"

"Merlin, kill me. Never."

He laughed. "Oh fuck, I need to sleep," he said.

"Go home. I'll get you if anything changes."

"You should go home too," he said.

"I'm going to stay with James. He still hasn't said anything and I'm worried," she told him.

"He's just processing. He works things out on his own and then tries to fix them. That's how it works."

She nodded. "But he can't fix this."

Sirius shrugged as he stood. "He's going to try. And you have to let him."

Lily sighed as Sirius said goodbye to the Potters. He waved to Lily with a small smile and she returned it.

James came out and took Sirius' spot beside her, closing his eyes and leaning his head on the wall behind them. She took his hand and he finally responded by squeezing it.

"You should go home," he said.

"I'm okay here."

He opened his eyes and Lily smiled at him. His forehead was creased and his hazel eyes looked drained. She tried smoothing out the lines in his forehead, but they just came back as soon as her fingers left his face.

"We should both go," he said.

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying."

"No, let's go," he said, pulling her hand up. "Dad said he'd call if anything changed."

Lily and James lay down on his bed, neither of them sleeping. Lily turned on her side to face him as he stared at the ceiling. She didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better, and she knew there was probably nothing.

Sometime while she was deciding what to do, she fell asleep. When she woke up, James was at his desk, looking haggard, and surrounded by books. She sat up, wondering if a hurricane had hit his room while she was sleeping.

"James?" she said.

"I've been reading all night," he said, not looking at her, but picking up another book. "I think if I just spoke to the Healers, we could save her—"

Lily got out of bed and took the book from his hands, forcing him to look at her.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face was pale. She put her hands on his clammy skin. "I'm going to go shower and you're going to join me. Then, we're going to eat breakfast, you're going to nap for an hour, then we're going to go to the Hospital where you can talk to the Healers. Sound good?"

He looked like he was drowning and she kissed his forehead. "James? Does that sound like a plan?"

He nodded and she smiled, pulling him up from his chair.

.

"What do you mean there's nothing you can do?" James asked the Healers. "I've read up on at least seven different things you can do!"

Healer Gorshen gave him a sympathetic look. "Sorry, I should have clarified. There _are_ things we can do to help your mother, but we won't. She signed a waiver back in July that states that we are not to interfere with the course of her illness. There is nothing we can do for her now, Mr. Potter. I'm sorry." Gorshen gave him one last look of sympathy and left him standing in the hallway.

"How did it go?" Lily asked, handing him a coffee as she sipped hers.

He just sat down and stared at his mum through the window. "He said she didn't want to be treated," he said.

Lily sat next to him. "She thinks it's for the best," she said.

James looked at her. "It's not."

She nodded. "I know," she said. She seemed to be contemplating something before she spoke again. "My dad was sick for a couple weeks before he finally said enough was enough. He didn't want to be poked with needles anymore or run anymore tests. All he wanted to do was come home and watch movies with Petunia and I, like we used to. So that's what we did. I wished he would have fought longer, just so I could have more time with him, but that's not what he wanted. It wasn't the best option for me, but for him, it was."

James felt his throat constrict and he stood. "I'll be back," he said, turning and locking himself in one of the bathroom's at the end of the hall. He gasped for breath, not understanding what was happening to him. He wiped his cheeks and splashed ice-cold water over his face. Fuck.

He came back out and wrapped Lily in a hug. She hugged him back, her fingers in his hair and squeezing him until it hurt.

"I love you, Lil, but I need to be alone right now. Okay?" he said, letting her go.

She nodded. "Okay. Are you going to stay here?"

"Yeah. I'll find you later," he said.

She kissed him quickly and gave him another tight hug before disappearing down the hall.

James' dad was sleeping on the couch in the room, but his mum opened her eyes when James entered. She smiled at him and he tried to swallow, stopping himself from breaking down again.

"Mum."

"James. You look terrible," she said, holding out her hand to him.

He laughed weakly and nodded. "Didn't get much sleep."

"James," she said. "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded, unable to speak.

"And you understand why I'm doing this?" she asked.

Again, he nodded, even though he didn't.

She smiled. "You will one day, even if it's not now. You are a smart, wonderful young man."

He groaned. "Mum, stop," he said.

She smiled, tears running down her face. "You are, I can't help it. You're my greatest accomplishment and I'm bloody proud of you," she said.

James laughed. "You said a curse word," he said.

She smiled. "I think I'm allowed to in the current situation, no?"

He nodded. "You can say whatever you like."

"Good. Tell Sirius to be good, and to think before he does something stupid, instead of doing things like buying that damn motorbike—"

James laughed again. "He's not going to listen to me."

"Well, you can always try." She smiled sadly. "Treat Lily well, James."

"I will, Mum."

"And for Merlin's sake, don't name your children after your father and me. I don't think the world can handle another Charles Potter. Don't you think, Charles?" his mother said, looking past him to his dad, who was now standing behind him.

"Quite right. No more Charles Potter's after me," James' dad said.

"I've always liked the name Harry for a boy," his mother said. She let go of James' hand for a moment to wiggle her ring off her left hand. "I hope you don't mind, Charles," she said, looking to her husband.

"Of course not, dear," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

She put the ring in James' hand, holding it tightly.

"Remember. No Andrea's or Charles' as children names. Promise me," she said.

"I promise," James said, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his face. James' dad put his hand on James' shoulder as his mum's grip weakened, her eyes closing. "Mum?"

"She's gone, Jimmy," Charles said. "She's gone."

.

Lily visited her mum, who desperately asked Lily if she could return home. New Years was just around the corner, but she wanted to be out of Vernon's house immediately. Lily agreed, bringing her home and discreetly putting protective charms around the house. She made special charms to deal with Sev, in case he hadn't taken her threat seriously.

She had a long talk with her mum about James' family, but didn't bring up the cottage in Godric's Hollow and accepting James' offer to live with him after she graduated. She opened Petunia's gift—a hideous vase—and said goodbye to her mother, promising to visit before she went back to school.

She packed up all the important things from her bedroom, including pictures and Bear, and moved it to Godric's Hollow before making a stop at Mary's. She was pleasantly surprised to find Alice there as well. Lily apologized for not keeping them in the loop of what had been happening.

"Sirius told me what was going on," Mary said, her face closing down.

Lily wanted to tell her what Sirius had told her, but she knew she shouldn't interfere. Sirius needed to do something if that was what he wanted and she knew he'd be pissed if she said anything.

"Are you all right?" she asked Mary.

"Fine. I knew he was never going to want the conventional dating thing, and you two warned me about him. I knew what I was doing," she said, even though she didn't look fine. Lily dropped it, knowing that talking about it was going to make Mary feel worse.

They thanked each other for their Christmas presents and Lily said she'd see them on the train, needing to get back to the Potters just in case James came home.

She found James on the couch, and she knew what had happened. She didn't say word as she sat next to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he turned his face into her neck, his tears hitting her skin. They sat there like that until they both fell asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sad times. It's only going to get worse, folks. Unfortunately. There are going to be some happy moments amidst the dark in future chapters, but mostly just dark, I'm sad to say. I understand if a lot of you don't want to read that and I won't feel that badly if you don't follow anymore because of that. But I hope you don't! There are still 6 chapters left! It'll all be posted before September. **

**Leave a review! **


	23. Chapter 23: End of an Era

**23: End of an Era**

"Dad, are you sure you're going to be okay?" James asked, packing the last of his father's things up into his suitcases. After Andrea Potter's funeral, Charles decided he couldn't live in this house by himself and sold it to the highest bidder. He was going to live in the second cottage they had in Somerset, while James would keep the one in Godric's Hollow, as previously discussed. James had already moved all of his things to Godric's Hollow, saying goodbye to his childhood bedroom and this house, which he'd always felt was too large. It was a very bittersweet moment.

"I'll be fine, Jimmy. I told you, Caradoc is close by and we'll keep one another company," he said.

"Are you sure you don't want to go now? Lily and I can help you settle in. You really don't need to escort us to King's Cross."

"Nonsense," Charles said. "I may be old, but I'm not irresponsible. I'm going to make sure my son gets to school properly. Your mother would have wanted it this way," he said sternly.

James tried not to react to the mention of his mother, but he flinched. His dad noticed and put a firm hand on his shoulder. "It'll get better," he said sadly. James just nodded.

Sirius, Lily and James said goodbye to Mr. Potter on the platform and James gave his dad a hug before getting on the train. For the first time since first year, he stayed at the window, waving goodbye to his father until he was no longer visible.

"James? We need to greet the Prefects."

James nodded and followed Lily to the Prefects' cabin. He noticed Regulus wasn't there, either because he wasn't getting to school via the Hogwarts Express, or because he was purposely disregarding his responsibilities. He had a feeling it was the second one. Not that James minded, because seeing him would probably end in a fight. James had a lot of unresolved issues right now and fighting Regulus would resolve at least one of them.

Lily led the meeting, James inputting only rarely. They sent the Prefects off to do their jobs and Lily sat down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm about as useful as a sack of potatoes," he said to her. He honestly didn't know what he would have done without Lily these past couple of days. She was unwaveringly strong and she always knew what he needed without him having to ask.

"I happen to like potatoes," she responded, playing with his hands. "And I get it. You'd do the same for me."

James turned her face to his and kissed her, quickly wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her on top of him.

She smiled against his lips. "Mm. I missed you," she said. "But we can't do this here, people might come in," she said, pulling away.

He sighed and gave her one last kiss before letting her move off him. "Fine. But it's been too long," he said.

She scoffed. "Five days, Potter?"

He grinned. "That's almost a week."

She opened the door to the cabin with an eye-roll. "Merlin."

He quickly caught up to her, putting his arm around her waist as they walked through the hallway. "Thanks, Lil."

"For what?"

"Everything. Being my soul-partner," he grinned, whispering it in her ear. She turned to him with a smile.

"As long as you're okay, I'm okay. You don't need to thank me."

They passed by a Slytherin-filled compartment and Lily gripped his hand that was on her waist. Both of them kept walking, pretending as if nothing had happened.

They quickly found the Marauders, where Lily said hello, then went to find Mary and Alice.

"Oi, I didn't want to say anything before, but since we're all together now, I think it's time," Sirius said. He pointed at James with an angry finger. "You broke the code and told Evans about us. We should ex-communicate you," Sirius said.

"What?" Remus said, looking at James. His pale face grew paler. "You told her?"

"Whoa, relax," he said, holding his hands out. "Pete, back me up."

"I'm backing him up," Peter said to Remus and Sirius.

"James, why would you tell her?" Remus said, looking sick. "Merlin, what if she tells Dumbledore?"

"She's not going to!" James said. "And I thought Lily said you were over this, Padfoot," he said, turning to Sirius. "She told me you didn't freak out."

"It was sort of a bad time," he said. Mercifully, he didn't mention James' mum. "But that doesn't mean I'm over it. Someone else besides one of us knows! Something has to be done!"

James rolled his eyes. "Like what?"

Sirius frowned. "I don't know."

"Great," James said. "When you figure it out, please let me know."

"You shouldn't have told her, James," Remus groaned. "What is she going to think of us?"

"She doesn't think anything different," James assured him. "Has she been treating you differently since she found out? No. If anything, she thinks we're much smarter than she initially gave us credit for."

Remus groaned and Sirius made a face. "She knows about the Map too, doesn't she?" he asked.

James smiled to ease the tension. "Yes."

"Bloody hell."

"Sorry."

Remus still looked uneasy but he was looking less like he was going to vomit. "She's trustworthy," he said, like he was trying to convince himself of this fact.

"The most trustworthy," James said.

Sirius was still angry. "I need to make a Hogsmeade run. I haven't had a proper drink in a week," he complained.

"Okay, we'll do it as soon as dinner's over," James said, wanting to get properly drunk, but also eager to appease Sirius' anger at him. Snape walked by their compartment at that exact moment and James didn't consider it beneath him to glare as hard as he could as he passed.

Once they arrived at Hogwarts, he told Lily what he and Sirius were planning on doing, which she frowned at initially, then requested he get her a butterbeer from the Broomsticks. He laughed and agreed, kissing her before he left, with a promise to be back soon.

"Here, let me carry it," James said inside the tunnel leading back into the school.

"No, I got it," Sirius said, taking the box of Firewhiskey in his arms and pushing the statue with his back.

"Sirius, wait!" James said, checking his pocket. "You have the Map!"

It was too late. Sirius was already in the corridor and he heard Filch's cry of triumph, catching Sirius in the act of doing something illegal. James watched in horror as Sirius stood there, unable to move. Luckily, Sirius had enough wits to quickly transform the Firewhiskey into a bag full of dungbombs instead, since that was slightly more legal than alcohol from Hogsmeade. That would have led to more questions involving passages out of the school, which nobody wanted.

"Caught you!" Filch said, confiscating the bag of dungbombs. He searched through them, obviously pleased with himself for catching what looked to be the jackpot. Mrs. Norris sniffed around the one-eyed witch statue James was hiding behind and he held his breath, prepared to cover himself with the Cloak in case something happened.

"Empty your pockets," Filch said. Sirius did as he was told and James felt the dread fill him when he brought out the Map. Mercifully, it was closed, but James had a bad feeling.

"What's this?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. "Bit of parchment. You write on it," he replied. James winced at the tone of his voice. Filch was not going to like that.

Filch stuffed it in his pocket. "Where's your partner? Potter?"

"Who?" Sirius said.

Filch grumbled and ushered him along. "Move. Professor McGonagall will be pleased to hear about this one."

James stayed behind the witch statue as long as he dared. He was about to put on his Cloak and leave when he saw Snape follow Filch with a smug smile on his face. The train. The damn git told Filch. Merlin. James only prayed he hadn't overheard the conversation they had been having before. But they never said the actual word 'Animagi', and the Ministry wasn't knocking on his door, so he felt that they were still safe. Even though they lost the Map. Their work of art.

He waited a few more minutes, then snuck out from behind the statue under his Cloak. At least he still had that. He didn't know what he'd do if he'd ever lost this gem.

"James?" Lily said, looking up from the couch at the door opening on its own. He took off the Cloak and she sighed in relief."You scared me."

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"Sirius got caught. I think Filch may have confiscated the Map," he said.

"What?" Lily gasped. "No!"

"He's with McGonagall right now. He'll probably use the mirror once he's done." James pulled out the butterbeer from his pocket and handed it to her. "As requested."

"James, I'm so sorry," she said.

He sighed. "I guess it's better than having Death Eaters getting their hands on it, like you said. And it was closed, so I don't think anyone will be able to open it. It'll just sit in Filch's office for the rest of eternity," he said sadly, feeling like he'd lost a part of himself.

"You're not going to try to get it back?" she asked.

James shook his head. "Too risky. Filch will know it was us who took it and then we'd be even worse off. Besides, we only have one more term before we leave this place forever. What use will a Map of Hogwarts be once we're out in the real world?" he asked.

"Well, it could have been a legacy you passed down to your children."

"Are you sure you'd want _our_ children in possession of such a thing?" he asked, smiling at her and snaking his arms around her waist, nudging his nose with hers.

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Our children, huh?"

"Lots and lots of them."

She smiled and kissed him, but they were interrupted by frantic voices coming from James' pocket. He groaned as Lily pulled away.

"Sirius," James said, pulling his mirror out and staring at his best friend. "What happened?"

Sirius swore. "The Map started insulting McGonagall."

James groaned. "Where is it now?"

"With Filch."

"We can't get it back," James said. He saw Remus and Peter in the background.

"Why not?" Sirius asked. "It's the Map!"

"Too risky," he said. "He'd know if it was missing."

"We just replace it with a replica! He wouldn't know the difference. He can't even get it open because he's a bloody Squib!"

"I think we should just leave it," James said. Sirius made a loud noise of dissent and he passed the mirror off to Remus.

"I agree," Remus said. "We already know all the main passageways and tunnels, so we don't need the Map for that. We'll just have to be more careful with the Cloak."

"No!" Sirius said from behind Remus. "I can't believe this is happening. And we didn't even get the damn Firewhiskey!"

"Sorry to interrupt, lads," Lily said, taking the mirror from James' hand. "But can this conversation wait until tomorrow? James and I were in the middle of something," she said. James grinned at her as she put the mirror under a pillow and pulled James to her room.

.

The Map debacle lasted only a couple days, thankfully, and soon the Marauders were feeling better about the loss of their one and only heirloom. Winter soon turned into spring and with it, another tragic loss. James was just returning from burying his father, Charles Potter, who died peacefully in his sleep at his cottage. Caradoc Dearborn had sent James a letter and Dumbledore permitted him to travel back to the West Country to deal with his father's estate, and Sirius later to attend the funeral.

When he got back, Lily hugged him, a few tears leaking onto her shoulder. She couldn't bear to see James like this, torn after loosing both his parents in the short time period of months. Losing one parent was bad enough, but both within half a year was wrong.

"I'm an orphan," he said into her shoulder.

She pulled her head back and wiped his face. "You still have me. I'm your family," she said. "Don't forget that."

He nodded and she kissed him gently.

"You should sleep," she said, looking at the bag under his eyes.

"I can't," he said, sitting on the couch. "I've tried. It's not working," he said, lying down and closing his eyes with his arm resting on his forehead. She sat next to his hip, taking his hand and tracing the lines in his palm. He sighed as a few more tears leaked from the corner of his eyes, and she felt her chest ache. She wished she could do something for him, but she didn't know what could make him feel better.

"_Deep in the shadows in their cave; three playful lions misbehave_—"

James let out a short laugh. "Are you singing me a lullaby?" he said.

She smiled, pleased that she had gotten at least a small laugh, even if it was probably just an instinct rather than from actual amusement. "My mum used to sing it to me," she said. "It's Muggle, so you probably haven't heard it before."

"Okay. Start again," he said. He moved his body to the side, making room for her on the couch. She lay down in front of him, his warm arms wrapping around her and she cleared her throat, continuing to run her fingers along his hand.

"_Deep in the shadows in their cave; three playful lions misbehave._ _Soon they'll grow tired, lay in a heap. Mother will watch them go to sleep. Stars are shining, day is done. Close your eyes 'till morning sun. Then you'll awaken from slumber deep, but 'till the morning, go to sleep."_

She listened, wondering if he had fallen asleep. "Did it work?" she whispered.

James laughed and she felt his chest vibrate. "No. But thanks," he said. "Turn around," he said.

She turned so she was facing him, still enveloped in his arms. He was smiling at least, which made her smile. He kissed her and she moved her hands to up his arms and to his neck, running her fingers through his soft hair. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss and turning so that Lily was beneath him and she sighed into his mouth, her body warm everywhere James was touching her.

He stopped, pulling his face back and looking at her. His hazel eyes were swirling with energy and she felt her heart race faster. His hand brushed her hair from her face and he smiled weakly.

"Marry me, Lily," he said quietly, looking at her intently. The intensity of his statement caught her by surprise.

"What?" she breathed, wondering if she had heard him correctly. He put a hand into his pocket and showed Lily what he was holding between his thumb and first finger. She inhaled sharply as James sat up, pulling her along with him.

"Marry me," he repeated, taking her left hand and putting the ring on her fourth finger. It fit perfectly. It looked old, and she realized this must have been Mrs. Potter's ring. She wondered how long he had been holding that around with him. "Lily Evans," he said, smiling like he had before Andrea Potter became sick. "Marry me."

"James," she said, breathily. "James, are you sure you're thinking properly? You've just gone through a terrible loss—"

"Which is why I can't lose you, ever," he said. "Say yes."

Lily could barely breathe. "We're only eighteen—"

"What does age have to do with this?" he asked, laughing. "We're soul-partners, remember? You can't deny that. We were meant to be this. Together. Whether we're eighteen or eighty-one."

"But—"

"Do you love me?" he asked her, serious as Death itself.

"Of course!" she exclaimed. "Of course I do. I'm just worried that you're not looking at all aspects—"

"I love you," he said, interrupting her with a fierce, intense look of pure love. It made Lily's words die on her tongue, her heart stuttering for air. "I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, no matter how long or short they may be. I don't ever want to feel this helpless again, and when I'm with you, it all disappears. Even when we were in a fucking battle with Voldemort himself, I didn't feel scared because you were right there. You make me feel invincible, Evans, and I want you—need you to marry me. What other aspects would you like me to look at?"

Her breath was shallow and quick, her heart pounding at her rib cage, trying to burst out of her chest and into James' loving hands. His thumb was rubbing across the back of her hand, their fingers intertwined, with a ring on her fourth.

"Lily?" he asked, his voice quiet. "Say yes."

"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, you bloody idiot, I'll marry you," she said, wrapping her arms around him so forcefully, James' back hit the armrest of the couch.

He laughed and hugged her back, squeezing so tightly, the last bit of air in her lungs escaped with a _whoosh_. She felt faint and giddy and bloody marvelous.

She kissed James, hoping to convey all the love she could into that one kiss—

"Lily Potter," he said against her mouth, guiding her back down on the couch. "Hm. _Lily Potter_," he said again, grinning against her lips, kissing her when she pulled his head back down to hers.

"I prefer Evans," she said, quickly divulging him of his shirt. She ran her hands along his bare chest before pulling him back down on top of her.

"Lily Evans Potter?" he suggested. "No, Lily Potter is better," he said between kisses.

Lily was getting sick of this talking business he kept interrupting with. "Stop talking, and maybe I'll be persuaded to change it," she said.

She made an alarmed noise, then laughed as James lifted her up from the couch in his arms and to the bedroom, on the mission to persuade Lily Evans to become Lily Potter.

.

James, the Marauders, Lily, Mary, Alice and Frank were all sitting in the Three Broomsticks after writing their final exam at Hogwarts. It was a bittersweet moment, having to say goodbye to their home of seven years where they had accomplished countless things, but James was looking forward to the future. He looked at Lily sitting beside him, with his arm draped loosely about her shoulders, and he smiled at her. She smiled back.

"They're doing it again," Mary sham whispered to Alice. Her and Sirius were sitting beside one another, but there was a significant space between the two, which everyone pretended not to notice.

"You're free to look away," Lily said, turning to her friend with a smile.

"Leave them alone," Alice said, smiling. "We're done exams and we're finally free. It's a day to celebrate," she said.

"Hear, hear," Sirius said, lifting his glass. "To freedom."

They raised their glasses and James drank heavily from his, wishing his parents could have been here to see this. The graduation ceremony earlier that day had been short and sweet, and he knew his mother would have cried if she could have been there.

Alice and Frank were on their way to becoming Aurors under Mad-Eye Moody, while the Marauders had all accepted Dumbledore's offers to join the Order. James and Sirius were joining as full-time members, since they could both afford to live without a job, thanks to Sirius' Uncle Alphard, and the Potter fortune. Lily was still undecided, but James was going to make quick work of changing her mind.

James turned his head when he heard shouting outside. He turned to Lily, who had the same look of alarm on her face and they all rushed outside.

Doom. All he felt was doom. It was Death Eaters, levitating wizards—Muggle-borns, most likely—up in the air and causing destruction in Hogsmeade.

"Wormy," James said urgently, before the Death Eaters could get closer. "Take the tunnel back to the school and tell Dumbledore what's happening. Quickly! Run!" he said, shoving his friend off toward Honeydukes.

He looked at Lily, who nodded, gripping her wand. Remus, Sirius, Alice, Frank, and Mary, prepared for the oncoming doom.

The Death Eaters reached the Broomsticks and James shot spells and curses at as many black hoods as he could. He could see Lily trying to help the entrapped wizards and witches, being levitated above their heads. She managed to free a small girl, quickly ushering her to safety inside the Broomsticks where Rosmerta took her and shut the door.

He was dueling with a Death Eater when a green curse shot inches from his head. He turned and saw Mary, eyes blank and dead, pointing her wand in his direction.

"Lily!" he called, "Mary!" he said, continuing the duel with the Death Eater as Lily turned to her friend.

"Mulciber!" he heard her cry out, quickly stunning Mary and dragging her out of the way. Merlin, where were Peter and Dumbledore?

He finally managed to incapacitate the wizard he was dueling, but it was short-lived when another one cropped up to take his place. He saw Remus and Sirius shooting curses at more of them as Lily rejoined the fight. Alice and Frank were nowhere to be seen, but he heard someone cry out in anguish and he turned to see Lily kneeling on the floor, grabbing her head in pain.

He ran towards her, standing in front of her and trying to find the source of the Cruciatus. He shot hexes everywhere until she finally stopped screaming. She was breathing heavily behind him and he continued to defend her as more Death Eaters approached.

"Get up!" he shouted. She got to her feet and held out her wand, her hand trembling. "Just a bit longer, Lily, just hold on a bit longer—"

He heard the laughter and felt the chill that accompanied it. He was here, again, for the second time. There was no way he could survive a second encounter with Voldemort; no wizard or witch was that lucky, with the exception of Dumbledore, who had the advantage of extraordinary skill on his side.

Lily heard the laughter as well and she nodded at him, shutting the fear out of her eyes.

James saw Remus fall on the floor and his heart nearly stopped. What hit him? Anything but a Killing Curse, please, anything but a Killing Curse—

"Potter, we meet again," the cold, slithering voice said, Voldemort appearing in front of him. James stepped back, Lily at his side. He was just as terrifying as the first time, but he looked even less humane. The light from the flying curses reflected off his grey skin, making him look manic and sickly at the same time.

"Brave of you to attack so close to Hogwarts," James said. "Dumbledore will be here any second—"

Voldemort cackled, throwing his head back and letting it all out. James' insides felt like ice. "Ah, will he? I happen to know he is halfway across the country," he responded, pointing his wand at James. "And now, you will die—"

A couple of curses came whizzing at his head and the three of them turned to see Alice and Frank, standing hand in hand, with their wands pointed at Voldemort. Frank was sporting a cut on his forehead and Alice looked flush, but they were both alive and actually had the courage—stupidity?—to attack Voldemort.

The four of them simultaneously shot curses as Voldemort, but he repelled them all, sending his own curses back at them. None of them were green, but he saw one catch Frank, and immediately incapacitate him. Alice continued to send curses his way.

"Help is coming!" Rosmerta called. In that instant, Aurors Apparated around them, sending the Death Eaters back while James, Lily and Alice continued to send all the curses they knew at Voldemort, none of them hitting their mark.

Voldemort laughed again, seeming to be having fun repelling all their curses. It did not even look like he was trying, more like he was swatting away irritating flies. "This is not over," he said, Disapparating on the spot, their curses meeting in an explosion where Voldemort had just been standing.

James swore loudly into the air and Lily collapsed onto the ground as the rest of the Death Eaters Disapparated, following their master's departure.

"Lily, are you okay?" he asked, going to her side.

She nodded frantically, her eyes wide and her skin pale. "Fine, just—Merlin, I can't breathe," she said, gasping.

"Lil," he said, grabbing her shoulders. "Deep breath, just look at me and breathe," he said, breathing steadily to guide her. She nodded again, and tried following his breaths. She began to calm down as a familiar face walked towards them.

"James!" Gideon Prewett said, kneeling next to Lily. "Is she all right?"

"Fine," she replied. "I'm fine," she said, standing and only grabbing onto James' arm momentarily before steadying herself.

"You two seem to attract trouble," he said, looking at them gravely.

"We seem to be destined for it," James replied, looking for his friends. Someone was helping Remus back to his feet, thankfully still alive, and Sirius had blood running down his face, but he was shouting angrily, seeming not to notice the gash on his face.

"Go," Lily said. "I'm going to check on Alice and Frank," she said.

James ran to Sirius, who was being physically restrained by a couple Aurors.

"Sirius!" James said. "What are you doing?" he asked. His wand was in the possession of one of the Aurors who was restraining him.

"He insists on going after his brother," the Auror said in a deep, calming voice.

"Sirius," he said, looking at his friend. "Reg is not here. Even if he was here—"

"He was! I was dueling him and he did this to my face before he Disapparated!" he said, pointing at the blood. At least he wasn't struggling anymore. The Aurors let him go, looking wary.

"How are you going to find him?" James asked.

"I bet I could—"

"And then what? Kill him?"

Sirius glared at the space where Regulus was standing. "Fuck, I don't know."

James clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll get them eventually. Not now though. You're getting blood everywhere," James said.

"I can fix that," the second Auror who had been restraining Sirius said, pointing his wand at Sirius' forehead. The cut stitched itself together and Sirius winced. "James Potter, I believe," the Auror said, holding out his hand. James noticed he had a very familiar face. "Fabian Prewett."

James shook his hand. "Glad to finally put a face to the name," he said.

"Likewise. This is Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror," he said, introducing his colleague.

James shook the Auror's hand as well. "Nice to meet you. Are you part of the—"

Fabian quickly cut James off. "Ah, Dumbledore's been alerted and he said he'd be here soon. James, Sirius, if I could have a word."

Fabian led them away from Kingsley, who went to help with the transport of the Death Eaters they had managed to capture.

"We can't be spreading around word of the Order," he whispered to them. "It's difficult to tell who is trustworthy or not."

"Within the Auror department?" James asked. "There are spies in the Auror department?"

"We don't know," Fabian said, grimacing. "That's why we can't just go asking Aurors if they're part of the Order, got it?"

James nodded as Sirius continued to glare at empty space. "You should tell the others that."

"I'm sure my brother is handling it," he said, looking behind him at Gideon, who was already speaking with Lily and Alice. "We'll get your statements later, but for now, get yourselves cleaned up at the Broomsticks. Welcome to the real world, eh?" he said, clapping them on the back and winking before leaving them standing there on the broken street.

.

Snape, with his Death Eater mask on and a voice modifying charm, put Pettigrew under another _Crucio_ and the feeble boy screamed silently in the alley behind the sweet shop. With all the ruckus going on further down the road, no one would find them here.

"A Gryffindor, hm?" he said. "But it looked as if you were fleeing from the fighting. What kind of Gryffindor flees from a fight?" he asked the crying Pettigrew. He released him of the silencing charm so the boy could answer.

"Not fleeing!" he gasped. "I wasn't fleeing. Please, don't kill me, I'll do anything. _Anything_!"

"Anything?" Severus asked. "Even spy on your friends?" he asked.

Pettigrew's eyes widened and he whimpered. "Spy?"

"Yes, spy. Relay privileged information about your friends and about Dumbledore, and tell the Dark Lord in exchange for your life. Are you willing to do that to save your own skin, Pettigrew?" he asked, putting the wand at his throat. He silenced him and used the Cruciatus to fully convince him.

"Yes, yes!" Pettigrew wailed when Severus had removed the spells. "Please, no more!"

"Good." Snape silenced him again and cast the Cruciatus curse one more time, for good measure. "You are a coward, Pettigrew," he hissed in his ear. "You will not speak of this to anyone," Pettigrew nodded furiously, "and if anyone asks what happened to you, you will tell them a convincing story about how a Death Eater attacked you before you could flee. If you fail," he said, drawing his head back so Pettigrew could look into the mask of the Death Eater, "I will find you and I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully. Do you understand?"

Pettigrew cried and nodded, still under the silencing charm. Severus smiled underneath his mask. "The Dark Lord will contact you. And you better have information he wants," he said, releasing Pettigrew from his invisible binds and Disapparating.

.

"Mary?" Lily said, reviving her friend inside the Three Broomsticks. She had been the one to Stun her after Mulciber had put her under another Imperius and Mary was still not fully back to normal.

"What happened?" she said, scrunching her eyes shut and grabbing her head.

"You were Stunned," Lily said.

"It was him," Mary said, shivering and tears leaking from her eyes. "I heard his voice, but it was stronger this time. I—I almost killed James!" she cried hysterically, pulling at her head.

"Hey, hey!" Lily said, separating her hands from her head. "James is fine. You missed. He can't hurt you anymore, Mary."

Mary looked at Lily through her tears. "You don't know that! He could find me anywhere and make me do horrible things—"

"Mary, you have to calm down—"

"I can't! Get away from me, I'm a danger to all of you! He's going to find me and—"

Pomfrey, who had appeared after the battle, forced a potion down Mary's throat, to Lily's surprise, and Mary instantly calmed down. She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes, falling asleep on her chair.

"Madam Pomfrey!" Lily exclaimed.

"It's only a Calming Drought, dear, she'll be all right."

She accompanied Mary back up to the castle, along with the little girl she had saved from the Death Eaters. Pomfrey had given her Calming Drought as well, so she was sleeping peacefully on her stretcher.

James found her in the Hospital Wing and he wrapped her in a warm embrace, her feet lifting from the floor briefly before he set her back down. He gave her a small kiss, but nothing more, since they were in a room full of people.

"Are you okay?" he asked, even though he already knew she was.

"I'm fine. What about you? How is Sirius?"

"Both fine. He's lost some blood, but that still hasn't stopped him from swearing about the Death Eaters so much that Fabian put a silencing charm on him."

"What about Remus? Peter?"

"Remus is okay, got a nasty curse in the chest though, but he'll be all right. I haven't seen Peter since he went to get Dumbledore, who wasn't even in the school—"

Peter walked into the Hospital Wing at that moment, looking jittery, but otherwise unharmed. James rushed over to him.

"Pete! What happened to you?"

"G-got attacked by a Death Eater b-before I could make it to Honeydukes," he answered, looking very shaken-up. "I'm sorry," he wailed. "I'm so, so sorry," he said.

"Hey, it's all right," James said, patting him on the back and sitting him down on a bed. "It's okay, the word got out. And Dumbledore wasn't even in the school, so I was sending you to an empty office," he said, smiling at his friend.

"Is everyone okay?" he asked, still hiccupping through his tears.

"They're all fine, just a bit shaken up. No casualties."

Pete nodded, still looking miserable and Lily patted him on the back and handed him a glass of water.

Dumbledore walked into the Hospital Wing, looking as furious as she'd ever seen him, and Peter whimpered in his bed. She gave him a reassuring smile and watched as Dumbledore spoke with the Prewett brothers about what had happened. He turned his blue eyes to James and Lily, then to Alice and Frank.

He called Lily and James to Frank's bedside. Lily held Alice's hand.

"You four have proven yourselves worthy of your House. It was extremely brave what you did, and to have come out relatively unscathed—" he smiled at Frank, "—is a feat commendable by the greatest honor. I am only sorry that I was not there to witness your great duel."

"Nothing we did hit him though," James said. "He deflected them like they were snowflakes."

Dumbledore nodded. "Unfortunately, Voldemort is a very strong wizard, and it will take more than a few curses to kill him. However, you have all survived and that's not something to take lightly. James, Lily, if you'll excuse us, I would like to have a word with Alice and Frank," he said with a gentle smile.

James and Lily left the Hospital Wing, James wanting some air. They sat by the lake, the weather ironically beautiful outside. The Giant Squid was sun-bathing its tentacles and Lily closed her eyes to the sun, leaning against James.

"I don't know if I can do this," she said.

"Do what?" James asked.

"Fight. Go out there," she said. "Hogwarts has been my home for so long, I'm not sure if I can just get up and leave," she said, tears pooling in her eyes.

"We can do this, Lily. Hell, we even battled the Dark Lord and came out alive. For the second time, mind you. I told you, Evans, together, we're invincible."

She laughed weakly. "Not invincible. Next time could be the last time."

"And if it is, then we face it, head on."

She sighed and nodded. "I know. I just wish we had been born in a time of peace. I could have handled a peaceful life in Godric's Hollow, where my biggest problem was garden gnomes," she said wistfully. "I would have been good at that life, I think."

James laughed and kissed her hand, intertwined with his. "That would be an immense waste of your talent," he said.

"I don't mind that, strangely enough," she said, thinking back on the Cruciatus curse she had been under. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she said, turning to look at him, his glasses lopsided and his hair a complete mess.

He smiled. "You won't ever have to find out," he said.

She shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I had just met a normal Muggle who didn't attract danger like a magnet. We could live peacefully in Cokeworth and drive cars instead of brooms—"

James interrupted her by kissing her and she forgot all that she was saying.

"Take it back," he said, his eyes like living amber.

"I take it back," she said immediately, breathless and faint.

"Good," he said, kissing her again. They got lost in time for a while, until the Giant Squid splashed them when he retracted his tentacles back into the water.

Lily laughed, wiping her face of the water as James glared at the still lake where the squid had disappeared under. "We should go back," she said, standing and pulling him up beside her. He put his hands on her face and gave her one last kiss before they returned to the castle.

.

The End-of-Term Feast carried on as planned, the walls surrounded with Gryffindor banners due to the Quidditch Team's heroic win against Ravenclaw, stealing the cup from Slytherin's slimy fingers.

It was overall a very happy event, with the exception of the seventh years, who had mixed feelings about leaving.

Lily, Alice and Mary all cried, hugging one another. James went around and shook all of his Quidditch Team members' hands, giving Marley a hug and wishing her luck for next year as Captain.

"You and James are coming to stay with us the night before the wedding, aren't you, Lily?" Alice said. The wedding was three weeks from now.

"Yes, of course. We'll be there," Lily said.

On platform 9 ¾, James held Lily's hand as they said goodbye to their friends. "The next time we'll be here, we'll be seeing our kids off," he said to her with a smile.

She grinned back. "Hm. James Potter with an old man gut," she said, putting a hand on his flat stomach. "That's something I hope to never see," she said.

He scowled at her as she laughed. "You won't. I'm going to be young forever," he said.

"Let me know how that goes," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

They turned, watching the young children say goodbye to their friends as they met with their families, with promises to see each other next year. It was strange not having that promise on her lips. James tugged on her hand and she walked with him, turning her head to say one last goodbye to Hogwarts.

* * *

**Author's Note: This is NOT the end of the story, even though it very well could be. But it is NOT. Like I said, five more chapters. I plan on writing about the Order, right up until James and Lily die. But if you're not interested in that, this would be a good place to end since it's going to get dark after this. **

**The lullaby that Lily sings is called Go To Sleep, by Phil Rosenthal.**

**I know I killed off James' parents really quickly, but it seems to me that they died in a relatively short time period. And it may be unrealistic, but who cares, it's my story. Hah. **

**Review, lovely people!**


	24. Chapter 24: Muggle, Half, Pure

**24: Muggle, Half-Blood, Pure-Blood**

The Evans household was a complete disaster when Lily opened the door. If it hadn't been for all the frilly pink decorations, Lily would have thought that there had been a Death Eater attack inside her home, with the terrible screaming she heard from the kitchen.

She ran to the noise, abandoning her trunk in the front door. "What's happening?" she asked.

Petunia's screaming became worse as she pointed to Lily and her mother ushered Lily out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"Lily, dear, I'm glad you're home," Mrs. Evans said, her face flushed. "Petunia's not having a good day—the wedding's in a week and her hair is a complete mess—"

"I can help," Lily said, taking out her wand.

Mrs. Evans looked alarmed. "No, no, I think that will make things worse," she said, putting Lily's wand away. "I'm sorry to do this, Lily, but would it be okay if you stayed with a friend until the wedding?" she asked. "Petunia isn't doing well, and since you're not a bridesmaid anymore—I'm sorry, I tried convincing her to change her mind, but she started _wailing—"_

"I understand, Mum, I'll go stay with a friend. Don't worry about me," she said with a smile.

Her mum gave her a large hug, and Lily felt how thin she had gotten. The stress from the wedding must have been taking its toll.

Petunia yelled from the kitchen for Mrs. Evans and her mum let her go. "So sorry, dear. I'll see you soon, all right?" she said, quickly shuffling back to the kitchen.

Lily sighed and picked up her trunk, realizing she had already moved all of her important things to Godric's Hollow, and besides for her mother, nothing else in this house was tying her to this place anymore. She smiled and Apparated to Godric's Hollow.

"Lily!" James said, staring at her from the couch. "What are you doing here?" he asked, smiling widely.

"Mum suggested I stay here until the wedding since Petunia's having a bad hair day," she explained, sitting next to him. He wrapped his arm around her. "I should have just come here straight after King's Cross," she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I told you," he said, kissing her head. "But you said your mum wouldn't be happy about you living with me before we're even married—"

"Yes, but I didn't tell her I was coming here. I told her I was staying at a friend's," she said, turning her head up to look at his face. "You're not going to tell her, are you?"

James laughed and kissed her.

"So, what are we going to do with all this time?" James asked her, twirling a strand of her hair.

"Play gobstones?" she suggested with a grin.

James laughed. "Hm. I have a better idea."

He didn't give her a chance to respond, but she did manage to get a giggle in before pulling him closer.

.

James waited downstairs as Lily got ready. The Muggle suit was very similar to the wizard dress robe, although substantially more hot. Lily had modified one of her father's old suits to fit James, but the fabric was making him sweat. He was trying to think of a charm to modify the fabric, but he couldn't think of any.

"Bloody hell," he said when Lily came downstairs. She was wearing a green summer dress that went to her knees, her hair loosely curled and pushed off to one side. His mouth went dry. "Lil. You look amazing."

"You don't look half bad either, Potter," she said, straightening his tie and brushing his shoulders. "Muggle suits are meant to be worn by people like you," she said, looking him up and down with a small smile.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. "By people like you, I'm assuming you mean dashingly attractive, fit young men," he said.

She laughed and kissed him. "Precisely." She stopped him from kissing her again by putting her hand on his mouth. "No time for that. We have to go."

He pouted, which made her roll her eyes. She took his hand and pulled him out the door where the taxi was waiting. They got in the back seat and James sat in the middle seat again, ignoring her smirk.

"Fought the Dark Lord in the middle of Hogsmeade and scared of cars," she whispered to herself.

"I'm not scared of cars," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "I just don't like having that much space between us, that's all," he said. The taxi cab driver smiled into the rear view and James winked at him.

She smiled indulgently at him and told the cabbie the address to the church. It was a very nice day for a wedding and James wished it were he and Lily getting married today instead of Petunia and her Large Muggle.

Since Lily was sister to the bride, she and James got seats at the front, albeit off to the side and very much out of the way. Lily had to crane her neck in order to see anything, but James was perfectly content to sit in the corner with only flowers to stare at. He knew it was upsetting to Lily that she was axed as a bridesmaid, but at least now they got to sit together. There was no telling what James could get up to if left alone.

"What do you think Vernon would do if his bowtie _magically_ untied itself in the middle of the ceremony?"

Lily's eyes narrowed, but she didn't manage to completely hide the small tilt of her lips. "Don't you dare," she said.

"I bet I could make him squeal," he said, imagining Vernon jumping up and down like a pig rolling in mud. "I'd bet my entire vault in Gringotts that I know what his Patronus would be."

Lily sighed with a small smile as the organ began to play the wedding march. The guests stood and turned to look at the procession. The bridesmaids were in hideous pink gowns, and that was another reason why James was thankful Lily wasn't one of them, when he looked at her dress she was wearing instead. Finally it was Petunia's turn, walking alone, and looking less like a horse than she normally did. She looked rather pleasant, and James noticed Lily wiping tears from her eyes. He wasn't sure why she was crying, but he put his hands on her arms, rubbing his thumb on her skin.

The ceremony itself was very dull and the minister's voice was slowly putting him to sleep. He and Lily didn't get very much rest last night. Lily squeezed his knee every time he almost drifted off.

Finally, it was over. The reception was taking place right afterward, in a nearby hotel, so Lily and James decided to walk. Petunia was caught taking pictures with the bridal party, and James noticed Lily look back at them wistfully.

"So, what's my story?" James asked her, trying to get her mind off of Petunia.

"Story for what?" she asked.

"Cover story. Can I be some sort of spy? Or a detective like Sherlock Holmes?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, laughing.

"Well, obviously I can't go around telling people I'm a—" he dropped his voice dramatically, "—_wizard_, so I have to have some sort of cover story."

She played with his tie and laughed. "A brooms salesman?"

"In the magical world, I could probably do that. But in the Muggle world, I feel like that might be looked down upon, since brooms don't do much but sweep up dirt without magic," he said.

She nodded. "True. How about an athlete? Professional footballer."

"I don't know anything about Muggle sports. Merlin, woman, are you trying to get me caught?" he said.

She laughed. "Oh, and saying you're a detective named Sherlock Holmes is going to convince people you're not crazy?" she asked.

He undid his tie and let it hang loosely on his neck. "Fine. What are you going to say? What did you tell people when you went to Hogwarts?"

"Ridiculously gifted school for youngsters," she said.

"Youngsters? Merlin."

She laughed. "I'll tell them I'm going to study medicine overseas, starting in the fall."

"Ooo, fancy," he said. "See, I want a cover story like that."

"You can come with me."

"I'd be a shit Healer."

"It's called Doctor in Muggle terms," she said.

"Right. Doctor."

She smiled. "How about…police officer? You catch bad people, like an Auror. Close enough to Sherlock Holmes without sounding like you belong in a psychiatric hospital."

He made a face. "Somehow, I think I'd be a better brooms salesman. How do you catch bad guys without even a wand?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'd be a terrible Muggle."

"But I wear the hell out of a Muggle suit," he said, holding her hand and bringing it to his lips.

She laughed and nodded. "Very true."

"When are we going to talk about the Order?" he asked her, changing the topic rather abruptly.

"I told you, James," she said tiredly. "I don't think I can join full time. What am I going to do about money?"

He lifted up their entwined hands, flashing her ring in her face. "Did you forget we're going to be married? We also have to start planning that soon, don't you think?"

She sighed and scrunched her nose. "I feel like I'm not bringing anything into this marriage. You have the money, the house, the _name_, I feel like I'm just along for the ride. I want to contribute even if it only adds a couple Galleons to your fortune," she said, trying to act casual about it, but James could sense her discomfort.

"Evans, you don't have to change your name if you really don't want to—"

"That's not what I meant about the name," she said, looking desperate for him to understand.

"What, then?"

"I mean, your _pureblood_ name. I'm just a lowly Muggleborn, and with all that's happening right now, I feel like I'm just dragging you down and putting _you_ in more danger by latching myself onto you like a greedy, money-hungry leech—"

"Woah, woah!" he said, stopping her in the middle of the sidewalk. "Do you really feel that way?"

She sighed, detangling her fingers and putting her hands on her face. "I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes. Don't you feel like we might be rushing into this? Like we're only doing this because we're scared that we might die tomorrow—"

"Is that why you said yes? 'Cause you're scared?"

"No! I said yes because I _want_ to marry you—"

"Then what are we even discussing still? Nothing else matters. And the Potter name is only going to be gaining to have a witch like you call herself one. Of course, you don't have to change your name if you don't want to, like I said—"

She groaned quietly and continued walking. "Seriously, James, think about it. Your family has been pureblooded for so long, and then with me, I'm just going to ruin that. For all generations to follow, the Potters will be forever half-blood because I—"

"What has gotten into you? Since when do you care about blood status?" he asked her, concerned she was going to back out because of something he considered so inconsequential.

"I don't," she said, looking distressed. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"What's going to happen to me?" he asked, laughing.

She made at face at him. "Don't laugh, this isn't funny."

"Sorry. But I don't understand. How is marrying you going to hurt me?"

"I don't know. Those Death Eaters are crazy. And Voldemort already knows who we are. You'd be considered a blood traitor, wouldn't you? Marrying me?"

"Fuck them," he said. "I'd take blood traitor over Death Eater any day."

"But they're torturing Muggles, Muggleborns, blood traitors, everyone who isn't one of them, everyday! What if you're next because you're married to me?"

He stopped her again and looked her in the eyes. He could see the small seed of panic rooted behind her green eyes.

"Lily, does this have anything to do with cold feet about marrying me?"

"No! I'd do it right now if I could," she said, looking offended at his questioning.

He smiled. "Have you somehow fallen _out_ of love with me?"

She scowled. "No, you prick."

"Then I don't care what they try to do to me, as long as you're with me."

She groaned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you always have to act so noble and say stupid romantic things like that all the time?"

He laughed as she stomped away from him. "Would you rather me say mean things?" he asked, jogging to catch up with her.

"I just feel like you could do better than me," she said. "Some pureblooded blonde who lives in a mansion and doesn't have siblings who hate her, and she wouldn't require you to have a cover story to meet her family—"

"Hold on—fucking stop," he said, pulling her arm. "I love you, and nothing you—or anyone else—could do will stop that from being true. Death Eaters, Petunia, your own doubt—nothing. What are you bringing into this marriage? Everything. There wouldn't _be_ a marriage if it weren't for you. I didn't even know I wanted to get married until I met you. So stop this second-guessing that you're doing because it's dumb and starting to annoy me," he said. "Is that less noble and romantic?"

She sighed, the corner of her mouth tilting up in a half-smile. "Okay, but when they're barging down our door, don't say I didn't warn you," she said.

He kissed her passionately on the street and a couple people honked their car horns.

She smiled against his lips and tightened his tie. "I love you."

"I love you more, Evans."

"Doubtful." He grinned at that, feeling the most complete feeling of satisfaction settle in his chest.

"But we weren't even talking about blood status before you were being stupid," he said. She rolled her eyes. "We were talking about the Order and you joining full-time."

She sighed. "I told you I was still thinking about it."

"What are you going to do career wise, if not?"

Lily shrugged. "Slughorn told me he'd set up this Potions thing for me, if I was interested. Or, maybe join the Aurors with Frank and Alice. It'll still be fighting Voldemort, but I'd be getting paid to do it."

"But you don't need to be paid. Does vault full of Galleons mean nothing to you?"

She glared at him. "Will you quit it with that?"

"What?"

"Bragging and flaunting it around."

"I'm trying to convince you this 'earning money' thing is unnecessary and a waste of time! We could be doing more working directly for Dumbledore than anything at the Auror department."

She groaned. "Can we talk about this later? I just want to get through tonight without causing a scene, and that's already going to be difficult enough without having to deal with your _vault full of Galleons_."

"_Our_ vault full of Galleons, Mrs. Potter."

She cringed and he pretended to be hurt.

"I'm telling you, Mrs. Evans-Potter is too long to sign," he said. She just ignored him as they walked into the hotel.

It was obvious enough that Lily and James were placed at the table with the rest of the outcasts. There was one of Lily's creepy great-uncles who kept trying to touch James' hair, and Vernon's twin cousins who wouldn't leave Lily alone about their ventriloquist act. James had to ask Lily what a ventriloquist was, but she wouldn't answer him, her mouth stuck in a firm line across her face.

The dinner was bland and James later discovered it was catered by the restaurant they had eaten at during the Christmas break, and suddenly he didn't feel hungry anymore. He stood to get Lily some Muggle alcoholic drinks while she pleaded with him not to leave her alone. He assured her he would be right back.

While at the bar, he saw Vernon and tried to wave, but Vernon pretended not to see him, turning stiffly away to a woman who could only be his sister. He turned to the bartender and ordered his drinks, listening discreetly as Vernon spoke.

"…Petunia's sister's unemployed boyfriend," Vernon said to his sister. "Mentioned something about being some kind of amateur magician, but I don't think he's even qualified enough for that," he whispered to Marge, his voice dripping with disdain. James shut him out as he got his drinks and went back to the table.

"Vernon's ruined my cover story," he sighed, handing Lily her drink and trying not to be alarmed when she drank the entire thing in one gulp.

"What? How?" she asked, wiping her mouth.

"Told his sister I'm an unemployed amateur magician."

She laughed unsteadily and took his drink as well. He watched, shocked, when she downed the entire thing.

"You okay, Lil?"

"I just want this night to be over," she said, resting her forehead in her hands. "Merlin, what is an acceptable time to leave, do you think?"

"Come on, Evans, let's dance," he said, as couples began to take to the dance floor.

"Aw, James, I don't know," she said. He ignored her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she grudgingly put her arms on his shoulders.

"We're going to have a nice time, and when your feet hurt, we'll go home," he said.

"That might be a while. I put a cushioning charm on my shoes before we left," she said, smiling and pulling herself closer to him, her hands playing with his hair. He could already feel the tension leaving her body and he dropped a kiss on her temple.

"You think of everything," he said. He noticed Vernon's sister giving him a disapproving look and he smiled back at her. She was wearing one of those hideous pink gowns, making her look terribly like a pig. James shook the image from his mind.

"I reckon not even you could pull off that terrible bridesmaid dress," he said to her.

"I reckon not," she answered. "All part of Petunia's plan, no doubt."

"Have you spoken to her yet?"

"I think if I get within five feet of her, her eyeballs will explode."

James now had to deal with that unpleasant image in his head. "Do you think our wedding will be like this?" he asked.

"Merlin, I hope not," she said.

"Why?" he asked, amused.

"Too long. And you nearly feel asleep during the ceremony! I don't want my groom asleep at the altar," she said.

"I wouldn't fall asleep during _our_ wedding," he said, rolling his eyes. "So, are we going to start planning it, or what? You said once school ended—"

"Let's just get married tonight," she said suddenly, her eyes alight. "Yes, let's do it tonight!"

"Er," James said, looking at his watch. "It's past eight already."

"Let's do it at 12:01, so it's at least the day after Petunia's," she said, her face pink with excitement and her eyes glowing like the sun. James couldn't help but catch her enthusiasm.

"Who's going to be able to officiate at midnight?" he asked her, twirling her around his finger and wrapping her up in his arms again.

"We'll find someone! There has to be some official who can do it—please, let's do it!" she said, smiling widely at him.

He laughed, a bit overwhelmed. "Are you sure those drinks aren't affecting your thought process right now?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't care. You're the one accusing me of cold feet."

"Are you sure you don't want all of this?" he asked, gesturing around them with this head. "Isn't it every girl's dream?" he asked.

She frowned. "No, not at all. Remember, I'm not one for extravagance? And this is extravagant. Besides, it would be so complicated with me being a Muggle and you being a wizard—"

"Not this again—"

"No, not that. I mean, my guests being Muggles and your guests being wizards, it would just clash all wrong."

"Er, right. I don't really have many people to invite," he said, awkwardly. "My parents are gone, and they didn't have any family. It would just be the lads, maybe Dumbledore, if he could take the time. McGonagall? Merlin, how sad…"

Lily gave him an understanding nod. "And me neither. I doubt Petunia would come, and Mum might be a bit upset she missed it, but I think she could do without another wedding to plan, don't you think? It works out perfectly, James. We can tell Sirius right now, and call up Remus and Peter, Mary, Alice and Frank, if they're not too busy—"

"Okay, let's do it," he said, beaming.

Her eyes widened. "Really? You mean it?" she asked.

"Yes, 12:01, July 7, we're going to be married."

She kissed him in the middle of the dance floor, and when they broke apart, many people were staring at them, but he didn't care.

"I'll tell Sirius and ask him to get things ready. Merlin, we have less than four hours," he said, checking his watch again.

"I'm going to go say bye to Mum and tell her what's happening."

James went outside and found a dark alley where he could talk with Sirius.

"You want me to do _what_?" Sirius asked.

"Find an official who can perform a wedding at 12:01 tonight."

"Whose wedding?" he asked.

"Mine and Lily's!"

Sirius laughed. "You're mad, Prongs."

"As my best man, I command you to do as I ask," he said.

"That's not how it works, mate!" he said. "You don't get to boss me around."

"Come on, Padfoot! What are you doing now anyway? Drinking Firewhiskey and eating sweets? Move your fat arse!"

Sirius scowled. "What about rings? Do you even have those, you prick? Does she even have a dress? Cake? You need cake, James!"

"Minor details! We just want to get married!"

"Oh, bloody hell," he said, standing from the couch. James caught a glimpse of some Firewhiskey and chips behind him. "I hope I am never as in love with someone as you two are. It destroys your brain," he said, fiddling through some papers. "Okay, I may have found someone. 12:01, huh? Where is this shotgun wedding taking place?"

"It's not a shotgun wedding," James said, frowning. "I don't know, the Leaky Cauldron?"

"You want to get married in a pub?" Sirius burst out laughing. "Does Lily know this is happening?"

"Just get the official and gather everyone up. Remus, Peter, Mary, Alice and Frank, and tell them it's urgent. I'll worry about the rest, okay?" he said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sure you will. See you in a bit," he said, disappearing from the mirror.

A couple Muggles passed by the alleyway quickly, obviously thinking he was some sort of crazy, talking to a mirror. He smiled pleasantly at them and went back inside to find Lily.

Mrs. Evans gave him a large hug when he found them, tears streaming down her face. "Take good care of her, you hear me, James?" she said.

"I will, Mrs. Evans."

"Good boy. Send me pictures, okay, Lily, dear?"

"I will, Mum," she said, waving as she pulled James out of the door. "I'll see you later! Give Petunia and Vernon our best!" she called, whistling for a taxi.

"Where are we going to do it?" she asked him, her face flush. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Er," he said, wondering what she would say to his suggestion. "The Leaky Cauldron?"

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. The cabbie looked back at her in alarm. "That's perfect, James!"

"It is?" he said, laughing. "I mean, of course it is!"

She noticed his confusion and smiled. "It is. It's technically the first place I discovered, you know, _the other world_," she whispered. "And I hear it has lovely rooms upstairs," she said. "It's perfect. We should call ahead—"

"I'll tell Sirius once we get home," he said, grinning. "You need a dress!"

"I'll find something," she said, shrugging it off. "I'm sorry," Lily said to the cabbie, "but can you drive a bit faster? We're getting married!"

.

Lily dug through her closet, but she couldn't find anything. James was in the shower, and it was almost eleven o'clock, and she didn't have a dress—

"All right?" James asked, drying himself off with a towel.

Her mind went a bit fuzzy for a moment, but she quickly shook it off. "What are you going to wear?" she asked him, looking away from his very fit body. "You haven't got any dress robes, have you?" she asked, panicked.

"I do, but I was thinking I'd just wear this," he said, pointing to her father's old suit. "You said it looked nice—"

She felt her eyes well up and she nodded, with a smile. "Yes, yes, that's perfect." One of the real reasons she couldn't bear to have a real wedding like Petunia was because she didn't think she could walk down the aisle alone, like Petunia had.

"Why are you crying, then?" he asked, laughing and coming over to her.

"I'm just so happy," she said, laughing as she wiped her eyes. "Merlin, this is really happening."

"Yes, it is. Have you found something to wear?"

She shook her head. "I thought I had a white dress, but it's actually beige—"

"Can't you just charm it white?" he asked, picking it up.

"It doesn't seem right for the occasion," she said, examining it. "Too casual."

"This is a pretty casual event," he said. "We _are_ getting married in a pub, after all."

"I know, but it's not right. Besides, we shouldn't even be seeing one another right now, it's before our wedding!" she said.

He rolled his eyes. "We spent the entire day together, I think that tradition is sort of shot."

"Tradition! Merlin, I don't have something old, new, borrowed, or blue!" she said, frantically searching through her things. Old, new, borrowed, blue! _Ah_!

"Relax!" he said, grabbing her hands. "Okay, start from the beginning. What are you looking for?" he said, looking very confused.

"The tradition!" she said again. "You've heard it, haven't you? On her wedding day, a bride should have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue!"

James laughed and she frowned. "That's strange. Okay, let's start at the beginning. Old, old…well, your ring is old, does that count?" he asked.

She looked down at her finger. "Yes, perfect!" she said. "Okay, new?"

"Er…" James said. "Let's come back to that one. Borrowed. My suit is borrowed, do you think that's okay?"

She nodded, refusing to cry again. Her heart was so full of love, she thought it would stop working. "Something blue," she managed to say.

He grinned and dug through her drawers, pulling out a pair of her blue underwear. "My favorite," he said, beaming.

She laughed and took them from his hand. "I'm wearing a white dress, James, it's going to show!"

"You're a witch, I'm sure you can figure it out," he said. "I'll pack us a bag, we're staying at the Leaky Cauldron for a few nights."

"Do you think we'll even need clothes?" she said, grinning widely at his frozen expression.

"Fuck, Evans, you can't say things like that!" he said, shaking his head like a dog. She laughed and reached her arms out to kiss him—

"Stay away from me, or we won't make it on time!" he said, taking a step away from her. She pouted. "Find a dress, we have thirty minutes!" he said, disappearing from the bedroom and into the bathroom.

She sighed and dug through her wardrobe. Nothing! She sat on the bed, looking at the window, partly obscured by the curtains—

"James!" she called. He peeked his head out of the bathroom. "Are you particularly attached to these curtains?" she asked.

"Not particularly, no, but they do their job," he said. "Why?"

She grinned. "I'm feeling a bit crafty," she answered, pulling out her wand.

.

Lily and James arrived at the Leaky Cauldron at 11:56, Lily in her new dress, made of the lace curtains from Godric's Hollow, and James in his borrowed suit from Lily's father. Mary and Alice gave her tearful hugs and they commented on her dress, which they didn't believe had only been a curtain thirty minutes ago. James gave Remus Mr. Evans' camera to take pictures for Mrs. Evans, while Mary promised to take magical pictures for Lily and James.

The private room Sirius had booked for the occasion looked very beautiful, decorated with white ribbon and flowers. Remembering his insistence for Christmas decorations, she wondered if he had a hand in this. The room, much unlike the rest of the Cauldron, looked almost new—

"Oh, Merlin!" Lily said. "Something new! I don't have something new!"

James looked horror-stricken. "I forgot about the rings!" he said.

Sirius groaned, looking very handsome in his dress robes, pulling out a box from his pocket. "_New_ rings. Consider it a wedding gift," he said, smiling at them and opening the box. The gold bands were definitely new, but they complimented Andrea Potter's ring very nicely. Lily felt the tears in her eyes again, but snuffed them out by giving Sirius a very large hug. He patted her back awkwardly and she let him go.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a beaming smile.

"Don't mention it," he said. "What kind of best man would I be if I didn't bring the rings?"

"Thanks, Paddy," James said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"It's twelve, let's go!" Remus said, smiling at them.

At exactly 12:01, the official began. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered—"

"Actually," Lily interrupted. "We can just skip to the vows, if you don't mind," she said. James grinned at her.

The wizard looked alarmed, but quickly collected himself.

"Do you, James Charles, take Lily Grace to be your wife?" the official asked.

"I do."

"Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love her and honor her, all the days of your life?"

"I do." James took the ring from Sirius and put it on her finger. He grinned at her and she beamed back.

"And do you, Lily Grace, take James Charles to be your husband?"

"I do," she said, nearly shouting it. James's thumb was rubbing the back of her hand and it was driving her insane with longing.

"Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love him and honor him, all the days of your life?"

"I do," she said, taking the ring and putting it on his finger.

"Then, I declare you bonded for life," he said, taking his wand and showering them with silver stars. Lily wrapped her arms around James and kissed him, finally, officially his wife.

"Love you, Mrs. Potter," he said. She could hear the smile and the love in his voice and she wanted to cry and scream and dance in happiness.

"Mm, love you more, soul-partner," she said, grinning at him.

They celebrated in the Leaky Cauldron for a long time afterward, drinking butterbeers, eating cake brought by Remus, taking pictures—Muggle and wizard—and discussing baby names.

"Mary is very nice for a girl," Mary said. "Very wholesome and you know she's going to be beautiful—"

Lily laughed. "I don't want to get confused with you. There can't be more than one Mary running around."

Mary smiled sadly. "I wanted to wait until after to tell you, but I figure now is the best time," she said.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"After Alice's wedding, I'm moving to Australia to live with my aunt," she said calmly, when Lily was beginning to freak out.

"What? Why?" Lily asked, shocked.

"With everything that's happened, I don't think I can stay here," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't stop thinking that I'm going to be—" she shook her head and took a deep breath. "My aunt's a Muggle, so it'll be far from what's happening here. I think it'll be a good break," she said.

"Wait, but for how long?" Lily asked. Alice didn't look surprised, so Lily assumed she already knew.

Mary shrugged. "However long until this war is over."

"I'm going to miss you, MacDonald," Lily said, hugging her friend.

"We all will," Sirius said quietly.

"I know. But that's why you should name your daughter after me!" Mary said, wiping her eyes with a smile. "But don't worry, we'll keep in touch. I'll invite you to my wedding if I meet some cute Australian boy—"

"A very rich, handsome and nice Australian boy," Lily said. "Who can surf!"

"Exactly. Now, no more crying! This is a time for celebration! More butterbeers and Firewhiskeys, Tom!" she shouted.

They all cheered and forgot for a short time that a war was in its heights just outside the door.

.

James woke up to the sun streaming in the window. He squinted and put on his glasses, finding Lily asleep beside him. He smiled groggily and yawned. Propping himself up on his elbows, he brushed the hair out of Lily's face and stared at his wife. His _wife_. Merlin. She was beautiful. And all his.

He traced her eyebrow with his finger, moving down the side of her face, and to her lips—

"That tickles," she said, grabbing his hand and kissing his fingers. "Morning," she said, her eyes still closed.

"Morning, Potter," he said, grinning.

She shot her eyes open, startling green, and glared at him. "It sounds like you're scolding me."

"That's what I lived through for seven years, Potter," he said again.

"It's not my fault your last name is ideal for yelling in anger," she said. "_Potter_!" she yelled, making him laugh. "It's just so satisfying."

He brushed the hair from her face, smiling at her glowing eyes and kissed her. "It's your last name now, too," he said.

"Mm," she hummed, pulling him down on top of her. "What time is it?"

"Planning on going anywhere?" he asked, littering kisses down her neck.

She giggled and brought his face back up to hers. "Coffee would be nice," she said, kissing him on the nose.

"I'm assuming you want _me_ to get it," he said dryly.

She smiled. "Thanks for offering, husband," she said.

He groaned and buried his face in her neck as she played with his hair. "I thought you said we weren't going to need clothes," he said, running his nose along her collarbone. She ran her fingertips lightly up and down his neck and he sighed, wishing he never had to leave this bed.

"Yes, but you packed some anyway, didn't you?" she said, laughing.

"Yes," he said grudgingly.

"Then coffee would be very nice," she repeated, lifting his head and kissing him quickly on the mouth. "I'm going to go shower while you're doing that," she said, getting out of bed and leaving him staring after her, his mouth very, very dry.

He put on his clothes and went downstairs, trying to clear his head. He ordered coffees and some breakfast from Tom and noticed Sirius sitting in the corner.

"Padfoot?" he said, sitting down beside his best man. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" he asked back. "Shouldn't you be with Evans?"

"Coffee run," he said. "Did you sleep here, too?"

Sirius sighed. "Had a talk with Mary. Told her, you know, that I, er, fancied her still, and that I didn't want her to leave."

"Fancied?" James said, making a face.

Sirius scowled. "Okay, maybe I said something a bit stronger than 'fancied'."

James grinned. "What did she say?"

"Cried a lot. Said it was too late and that I was a bloody idiot for telling her now—"

"Agreed."

Sirius made a face. "I asked her not to go, but she said she couldn't stay here. Then she asked me to come to Australia—"

"No!" James said without thinking.

Sirius smirked. "I said I'd think about it. Then we, er, you know. Got a room. It was…er, awkward. She was crying a lot. And then she was gone when I woke up."

"Bloody hell."

"Yeah."

They sat there in silence while James waited for his order. "My night was significantly better than yours," he said, conversationally.

Sirius snorted. "I bet it was," he said, grinning.

James couldn't help but grin back. "Thanks for everything last night," he said. "How much do I owe you for the rings?" he said.

Sirius waved his hand. "Nothing. Wedding gift, I said."

"Thanks, Padfoot."

"Whatever, mate. Shouldn't you be going back to Evans now?"

"Right, yeah. Sure you're all right?"

"Fine, fine," he said, shooing him off with his hand. "Have fun. Don't burn down the building."

"How would that—" James ignored it at Sirius' grin. "Find Mary. _Don't_ go to Australia, but find her," he said, carrying the tray back up to his little corner of heaven.

.

James and Lily stayed in the Leaky Cauldron for a few extra days longer, then went back in Godric's Hollow for a few days, and were now in Augusta Longbottom's house, preparing for Alice and Frank's wedding.

"Merlin, I've had enough weddings to last a lifetime," James said, putting on his fully wizard dress robes.

"Last one, and we can go back to our normal lives," she said.

"Normal lives? What are those?" he asked her.

She sighed. "I have no idea."

"What are you going to tell Dumbledore?" he asked her.

"Still haven't made up my mind," she said.

"What can I say to convince you to join the Order full-time? We're husband and wife now, so money is not an issue," he said, ticking off a finger. "We'd be working directly for Dumbledore, which is about as close to a dream job as we'll ever get." Another finger. "No Ministry to deal with." Three fingers. "And we'd be together." Fourth finger. "Done."

She sighed. "You always over-simplify—"

"And you over-think!"

She frowned at him. "Let's just support Alice and Frank, and then we can talk about this later, all right?"

He dropped the topic, sensing an argument beginning to take hold. He couldn't understand why she was fighting this so much.

Alice and Frank's wedding took place in Augusta Longbottom's yard, which was enormous. Tents were set up and decorations were all very extravagant and not very Frank or Alice at all. He suspected it was Augusta Longbottom's doing, as he had met her on occasion through his mother's acquaintances.

Wizard guests from all over the country were in attendance, no doubt in support of this very pureblooded marriage. James looked at Lily, who was smiling, but not genuinely, and he wondered if she was having regrets about their very simple ceremony.

"Do you wish we had done something like this, too?" he asked her.

"Merlin, no," she said, shaking her head. She took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "If I had to do it again, I would do it exactly the same way we had."

"If you had to do it again?" he asked her.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

He grinned and kissed her, all previous disagreement forgotten for the moment.

Dumbledore greeted them with a small, content smile on his face, wearing light blue dress robes. James got over the strange sensation of seeing his Professors out of Hogwarts when he saw many of the Hogwarts Professors—McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, even Slughorn—were in attendance. Lily skillfully avoided Slughorn's eye-line, and dragged James along. It was a very large wedding and easy to get lost in.

The ceremony went very much like the Dursley's, but with more flourish and magic. James stood with the rest as Alice and Frank were declared bonded for life, and he and Lily joined in with their wands, sending sparks into the sky.

James and Lily danced for hours at the reception, using it very much like it was their own that they never got. He poked Lily when Dumbledore and McGonagall took up the dance floor and she held in her laugh.

"Can we go home now? Please?" James asked as they began to clear the tables.

"I need to say goodbye to everyone. And Mary, where is Mary?" she asked, frantic.

"With Sirius, here," he said. Sirius and Mary were sitting together, holding hands, decided not to waste a minute of the time they had left together.

"Mary, when are you leaving?"

"In the morning," she said sadly. "Do you have to leave now?"

"We can stay—"

"No, no," Mary said. "I was going to leave now as well."

"You're taking a plane, right? Should I come to the airport?" Lily asked.

"No, please don't," Mary said, tears in her eyes. "I think it's best if we just leave it here, don't you, Potter?" she said, giving Lily a hug. "Oh, I'm going to miss you so much!" she said.

"Me too," Lily replied, muffled through her tears. James looked at Sirius, who was staring very determinedly at a spot on the floor.

"Please write to me. You're one of my only friends who understands Muggle post," she said, wiping her eyes. "Owls probably won't make the long journey, and I don't want to scare my aunt," she said.

"Of course, I will!" Lily said, giving her another hug. "Are you sure you don't want me to come to the airport?"

"No, my family is going to drop me off. And I don't want to go through this again, it's already bad enough," she said. Lily nodded.

"Potter," Mary said, turning to James this time. "Hurt her, and I will come back here myself to kill you myself," she said.

James nodded and gave her a hug. "Be safe, Mary," he said.

"You too. All of you," she said, smiling fondly at them. "Now go! Before Augusta forces you all to stay the night," she said, waving.

Lily wiped her eyes as they Apparated back to Godric's Hollow. James kept a firm grip on her hand, regretting that the night had ended on such a sad note. Mary was off to Australia and it felt like something was broken within their group. It wouldn't be the same.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, I got distracted and forgot to post. Anyway, happy/sad chapter. Yay, they're married! Surely that merits lots of reviews, no? **

**Review review review! **

**Hello new followers! Say hi! **


	25. Chapter 25: The Order

**25: The Order**

Lily's head was resting in James' lap as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

She sighed. "Yes, I'm fine." She didn't sound fine, but James just let her think, as she was very keen on doing.

"I'm scared, James," she said, very quietly so he almost didn't hear.

"Of what?"

"The war. The Order. Everything."

"Is that why you've been so hesitant about joining?"

"Obviously," she said, wiping her eyes. James could feel the moisture of her tears on his legs.

"Do you want to move to Australia? Because we can. Sirius can come too and be with Mary, and we'll all learn how to surf and get tans–"

She laughed weakly and sat up. "Merlin, I would do horribly in Australia. Look at my skin."

"Where, then? I'll move anywhere. Just tell me and we'll go."

She looked skeptical. "You'd leave all your friends, your duty to help the Order–"

"It's not a duty–"

She laughed. "You're a prince, James, you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't deserve to be your soul-partner. You're a much better person than I am."

"That's not true–"

"It is! I'm terrified of the future and I don't know what I'm going to do about it!" she exclaimed.

"Being scared doesn't make you a bad person."

"I know that. But it's more than that. You're so confident and fearless in what you're doing, it makes me feel selfish for wanting you not to join!" she admitted.

James looked at her and finally saw the paralyzing fear that had been hiding behind her eyes. "You think I'm fearless?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are! You joined up with Dumbledore as soon as he mentioned the Order and it's like nothing ever fazes you–"

"Lily, stop. I'm not fearless. That day, in Cokeworth, do you know why I put my wand away?"

She glared at him. "Because you're an idiot."

"Because I was scared—terrified—that you would be forced to do something that would hurt you, and everything else going on around me was not even important anymore except for making sure you came back to your senses. And in Hogsmeade? When you were under the Cruciatus?"

Her face went white.

"I was so terrified you were going to be killed, I nearly dropped my wand again just to run in front of you. Mercifully, I realized having my wand would actually help more than just shielding you with my body. So, to say I'm fearless is totally wrong. I'm constantly terrified. But that doesn't mean I can't also be confident in what I'm doing. I'm joining the Order because I know that if something ever happened to you, I'd hate myself forever for not doing everything I could to prevent that."

"Merlin," she said, tears in her eyes. "You're a bloody idiot."

"A bloody idiot who loves you."

"Fucking hell, James," she said covering her face with her hands. "You're so fucking romantic, I can't even handle it sometimes."

James laughed and took her hands away from her face. "I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it's who I am."

She let out a strangled breath.

"If you want to move to Australia, or Antarctica, I'm okay with that too. Whatever you want, Lily, I'll do it." James said, being fucking romantic, and all.

"Promise me we'll be okay if we stay here."

"You know I can't. But I know we'll be together, and that's as much as I can promise. And that I'm going to fight so that our children won't have to grow up feeling scared, like we are. I will do everything in my power. And that means fighting beside Dumbledore and not joining the Aurors or becoming a Healer or selling brooms. Do you understand?"

She nodded, crying freely. James wiped her face. "It's okay to be scared, Lily. But you're a Gryffindor. Sometimes that means doing something stupid even though you're scared."

She laughed putting her hands on top of his. "I don't think that's how the Sorting Hat put it," she said.

"No, definitely not," he grinned. "This is the James Potter interpretation."

She laughed. "I don't want to move to Australia."

"Thank Merlin, me neither. Antarctica, then?"

"Let's stay here."

"You don't have to join the Order if you really don't want to. I won't either, if you are against that, as well."

"Don't be stupid, James. Of course I'm joining the Order. Someone's got to make sure you don't do something stupid even though you know it's stupid."

"That's not what I said," he said.

"I know, arse, this is the Lily Evans interpretation."

"Lily Potter," he corrected, grinning.

"Same thing."

He kissed her and he felt her relax under his touch.

"So, we're staying?"

"Yes," she said, curling herself in his arms.

"And you're not going to join the Aurors or some lame Potions job?"

"No," she sighed, making a face at his 'lame Potions' remark. "I'm going to tell Dumbledore during the first meeting."

"And you'll tell me if it's too much and you want to move to Antarctica, right?"

She turned to look at him. "Why Antarctica?" she asked.

"'Cause I would go to the ends of the world for you, Evans," he said, grinning.

She groaned and laughed. "Fucking romantic."

"But you'll tell me, right? We'll leave as soon as you say go."

"I don't need a white knight," she said, smiling despite her narrowed eyes at him.

"Too bad, Lily Evans, because you married a fucking romantic bastard who's going to be your fucking white knight whether you need it or not."

She smiled and flicked his cheek. "Ow."

"I love you, you bloody idiot."

"I love you more, Lily Evans."

"Lily Potter."

He grinned. "Was this ever about the money, then? Getting a job and all that nonsense?"

She rolled her eyes. "At first it was. Then when Mary announced she was leaving, I got scared. But initially, yes, it was about the money. I didn't want people thinking I was only marrying you because of the Potter fortune."

"Although it is a big help."

She smiled and moved the hair from his forehead. He took her hand and kissed it. "I'd marry you again even if you were dirt poor, diseased on the street, wandless, and ugly."

"So fucking romantic, Evans," he said, laughing.

"We're of a pair, remember?"

"You'd marry me even if I was ugly, huh? Guess I can stop trying now."

She smiled. "I thought you were going to be young and fit forever, Potter."

"Can't guarantee it," he said, wrapping her in his arms. "Would you still kiss me if I were ugly?"

"'Course. You'd still have a beautiful soul, wouldn't you?" James laughed and nodded. "And we'd still need to make babies, wouldn't we?" she grinned.

James laughed. "Should we start now?"

"I don't want a baby now!" she said, alarmed.

"Neither do I!" he said, shaking his head. "But that hasn't stopped us from practicing before, has it?"

She resisted the urge to smile and stood from the couch, moving to the stairs as he watched her. "Are you coming, or what?" she asked.

James jumped up from the couch and chased her up the stairs.

.

Lily, James and Sirius arrived at the specified location on time, a relatively small house in a Muggle neighborhood.

When they entered, they were greeted by the Prewett brothers. "Welcome to my home," Fabian said, showing them around. "Everyone's in the dining room. There are drinks in the kitchen. Help yourselves."

James found Remus and Peter eating cookies on the couch. He greeted them and took the empty space beside them. Lily sat on the armrest and he put his hand on the small of her back.

"Welcome, new members of the Order," Dumbledore said, looking at them with a small smile. James saw the twinkle in his eyes.

Alice and Frank waved at them from their corner, just back from their honeymoon in France. James saw his father's old friend, Caradoc Dearborn, who he nodded to, and a couple other Aurors he recognized from the Hogsmeade attack.

"Training with Alastor will begin for new members shortly, but first, some updates. Death Eater attacks are growing more frequent and the death toll is rising. It's imperative that any Order member who encounters a Death Eater attack alerts an Auror member of the Order immediately. Everyone is required to learn the Patronus form of communication, so that other Order members will be able to locate the distress and determine who it was that sent it."

Lily looked at James with a small smile. Half of that task was already done.

"The Ministry is becoming more and more corrupt and it is difficult to tell who is under the Imperius or not. Every precaution must be taken. As you are all members of the Order, you are all particular targets that Voldemort will be especially keen on acquiring information from. For this reason, it is essential to confirm the identity of your loved ones by asking questions that only they would know the answer to."

Dumbledore paused and looked at each one of them. "I am not saying to be suspicious of those around you, because trust and love are two things that Voldemort will never have. We must trust one another of we ever hope to stop him. However, we must not let this trust stop us from identifying spies amongst us."

"Constant vigilance!" Moody said, startling James. Sirius grinned at him and had a look on his face that said, "Brilliant, isn't he?" James nodded back.

"Yes, thank you, Alastor," Dumbledore said, looking mildly amused. "Well, that is all, I believe. You have your assignments. Alastor, if you please," he said, motioning to James and the others.

The rest of the Order went off to their respective tasks and Dumbledore disappeared into another room.

"All right!" Moody barked, making James jump again. "This is how it's going to work. You hesitate, you die." Sirius was nearly beside himself with excitement. James wanted to roll his eyes, but he thought the terrifying Auror legend would notice.

"Dumbledore has asked me to train you so you are not killed on your first day on the job. To me, that means you are going to get the training an Auror would receive in the Academy. You two," he said, pointing at Alice and Frank, "are still required to complete this training, and it will be more difficult for you since you need to remember to keep the two separate. What you can do as an Order member is different from what you do as an Auror, and if you can't compartmentalize, you die," he said gruffly. The Longbottoms nodded, taking what he said to heart.

"And remember–"

"Constant vigilance!" Sirius completed.

Moody glared. "That's my line, boy."

Sirius looked apologetic, but James knew he was far from that. He was having too much fun.

"Constant vigilance," he said, so sternly, it felt as if the air had left the room.

They began training immediately, with Moody teaching them defensive spells, which were pretty rudimentary at first. James and Sirius promptly goofed off until Moody shot hexes at them and they were immediately debilitated.

Lily smiled smugly at him while helping him up to his feet.

"Try taking this seriously for once, Potter?" she said.

"I take everything seriously," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, and I am the Queen of England."

"You're the Queen of _my_ England," he said with a suggestive smile.

She shook her head with a small tilt of her lips and poked his forehead. "Stop goofing around, arse," she said seriously, her eyes betraying the fear that was driving her reaction.

He did better the next time.

.

"Remus," Lily said, taking a seat next to the haggard looking Marauder at the October meeting of the Order. She and James had just returned from the task of staking out homes of prominent Muggleborn leaders who were in potential danger from Death Eaters. She hadn't seen Remus in a long while.

"Lily. You look wonderful. How are you doing?" he asked, with a kind smile that unsuccessfully hid the uncertainty behind his eyes.

"I'm fine. How is the job search going? James told me you were having trouble," she said, sympathetically. It was bad enough without being a werewolf in a world that was scared of the unknown.

He sighed, and covered it with another smile. "Difficult, but I'm sure things will look up."

"What about Marlene? How are things going with her?"

He shrugged, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled. "I haven't spoken to her in a while, actually," he admitted. "You know, she's at Hogwarts, we're on missions, it can be a bit tough."

"You should come eat dinner with James and I after this," she offered. "I think Sirius and Peter may be joining us as well. And if they aren't yet, I know James is going to invite them anyway," she said with a slight eye roll.

He shook his head. "I've made other plans," he said.

"What plans, Moony?" Sirius asked, joining their conversation. He gave Lily a half-hug with one arm. "We haven't seen you in ages."

"Oh, you know," Remus said, sighing. "Interviews, meetings. I was always a social butterfly, as they say," he said with a self-deprecating smile.

Sirius snorted. "We all know you spend more time with animals than real people," he said. Remus gave a half-smile, hiding his flinch. Lily discreetly glowered at Sirius, which he ignored.

"Remus, just come for a bit. Eat one bite of food, and I promise we won't even stop you from staying a minute longer if you do," Lily said. "Please, if I have to sit through another dinner of rowdy boys and their nostalgia about Hogwarts, I will drown myself," she said.

He smiled and chuckled, and that was something. "I'll come for five minutes, but that's it," he said.

"That's all I ask," she replied, patting his shoulder.

"Remus!" James greeted, giving his old friend a large huge. "You look rough."

"Thanks," he replied.

"Is it because of your furry problem? You know, if we don't have anything to do on the next occasion, we can always come over to help out—"

"I wouldn't want to burden you guys—"

"How many times do I have to tell you? It isn't a burden," James said, clapping him on the shoulder.

Lily smiled to herself, feeling full with love at being married to this gloriously, beautiful man. And it was because of his inherently wonderful nature that she knew he wouldn't object when she proposed to financially support Remus. The only trouble was convincing Remus that it really was not a burden. She had seen the insides of the vast Potter vault, and she wanted to tell him that they could support a million Remus Lupin's, if that would not be considered as being arrogant and rude.

She breached the idea to James before they all left for their house in Godric's Hollow. James smiled at her warmly, the look in his eyes making her feel tingly all the way down to her toes.

"You're beautiful, Evans," he said, kissing her.

"I've been up for twelve hours—"

"Yes, and you're still beautiful. Inside and out. Convincing Remus to take the money will be a chore, but I'm not going to let him say no. You may need to help me," he said.

She shook her head. "I think it might embarrass him if he knew it was my idea. Just, you know, take out a bit of gold for him, maybe give him his own vault? And just tell him that if times get really rough, he can use it as an emergency fund. That way, it'll be his choice and he won't feel uncomfortable."

James looked at her in surprise, and then surprised _her_ by grinning widely with twinkling hazel eyes. "You're fucking amazing. And wonderful. And too good for me."

She blushed and moved the hair out of his face, which immediately disregarded her coaxing and returned to its improper spot. "And you're a good man, Potter. Better than I could have asked for."

He kissed her until Sirius began making rude noises and she pulled apart, suddenly wishing very ardently that the Marauders' weren't coming over for dinner.

James seemed to understand what she was feeling as he put his forehead to hers and dropped a small kiss on her lips, full of promise. "Later," he said, pulling his head back, his eyes deep and dark.

She nodded and took short, shallow breaths. Her husband was…fucking sexy. There was no other way to describe him. And Lily normally didn't use language like that to express her feelings, but it was true. She was married to a beautiful, ridiculously sexy man.

.

_December 1978_

Lily was dead on her feet. Her and Sirius were ambling around, supposed to be waiting for the arrival of one of the Prewett brothers to show them the next house, but he hadn't arrived. James was supposed to be with them—

"Do you think—"

"Don't finish that sentence," Sirius said darkly. He was in a terrible mood. Not to mention that the snow was beginning to fall and Lily was freezing. This was possibly the worse December she had ever had. And Sirius in a bad mood was worse than getting coal for Christmas.

"How much longer are we going to wait?"

"As long as it takes," he answered, even though she didn't believe he truly meant it. She wanted to ask him to take out his mirror so she could talk to James, but he made her promise they wouldn't contact each other through means other than face-to-face. It was too risky now, and everything could be faked.

"Lil," he said.

"Mh?" she said, coming out of her own mind, the most dangerous place. She needed to distract herself from thoughts of James.

"Be careful with Remus."

"What?" she blurted.

He stared darkly at the ground, kicking up snow with his boot. "I don't think he's completely trustworthy and I don't think it's good for you to be spending so much time with him."

She laughed, hardly believing her ears. He had to be joking, clearly. He glared at her, but she didn't stop. "You think _Remus_ is the spy?"

"It makes sense," he said.

"How?"

"Look, I know you're a Muggleborn, so you don't have all the same cultures growing up. But wizards have been wary of werewolves since their discovery. There's a reason for this, a well founded one. Remus is a kind soul, but there's no denying that part of him is a vicious animal—"

"Stop," she said, shaking her head when she realized he was being completely serious. "I don't want to hear this."

He stared determinedly at her. "Just hear me out. There are many things that I regret, and one of those things is doing some of the cruel-hearted things I used to do back in Hogwarts. And I know that you have this soft spot for Lupin, because he was kind and never participated, and _blah blah blah_, but the harsh reality is that Remus _allowed_ it. Despite his strong moral compass that you so vehemently defend, he wasn't perfect. If anything, he wanted acceptance over anything, and isn't that the definition of a spy? Overlooks compromising stances and craves acceptance from as many people as they can get? Where else can he get acceptance, something he's never had as a werewolf, but with his own kind? Wolves are pack animals, Evans. And his pack is now working for You-Know-Who. He could be accepted by his pack _and_ by us by sharing information."

Lily frowned, refusing to let his speech cloud her judgment. "What does James think of this?" By the way he and Remus were conversing last night, she could hardly believe her husband believed the same things about Lupin as Sirius. She stopped herself from thinking about James' laugh.

"I didn't tell him," Sirius admitted, looking shame-faced. Good, he should feel ashamed.

"Because you knew he would say you were being stupid," she said.

He groaned. "James is too trusting for his own good. He'd rather believe that Snape has turned good than distrust one of his own friends. And it's going to get him bloody killed."

She sighed, dispelling the unpleasant imagery and convincing herself that wasn't what was keeping him now. She'd know if James was dead, she told herself. "You're just being paranoid," she said. "This entire year has just been terrible. The season calls for joy, but we're stuck in this cold weather for hours, waiting on a call that could possibly never come—"

"Don't say that," he said fiercely. "They just got held up."

She nodded and they fell silent.

"Don't tell James about what I said about Remus. He'll tie his knickers in a bunch and not talk to me for days for even thinking it."

She reluctantly agreed. If anyone could talk some sense into Sirius, it was James, but she knew her husband would be very angry at Sirius for even thinking such a thing. "Since when did we become such good friends?" she asked him, with a small tilt of her lips.

He sighed, even offering up a rare smile. "Don't know, Evans. If you told me we'd be friends this time last year, I would have spit in your face."

She grimaced. "That's not an image I needed, thanks."

He chuckled and kicked up more snow. "Have you heard from Mary recently?"

Lily shook her head. "Not since November. I think she's scared to write because she's worried she won't get anything back. But the last time I heard from her, she said she was tanning on a beach somewhere and making friends. Got a job at a bakery, I think."

Sirius nodded, averting his eyes. "That's good."

"She's not seeing anyone," Lily added in, knowing that was what he really wanted to hear.

He made a nonchalant face, but she could see past it. "Oh, hm, that's too bad."

"Do you ever consider just moving to Australia and leaving this shit behind?" she asked him.

He laughed darkly, staring up at the black sky. "It's looking mighty good right about now—"

There was a crack and Sirius and Lily drew their wands, poised for attack.

Fabian Prewett, blood seeping from his forehead, appeared, looking frazzled, his wand pointed at Sirius' chest.

"Last thing you said to me in Hogsmeade," Sirius said immediately.

"Welcome to the real world," Fabian answered. "What's your Patronus, Lily?"

"Doe, which matches my husband's stag."

The three of them lowered their wands, breathing heavily.

"What happened?" Sirius asked. Lily quickly cleaned up Fabian's cut, which he thanked her for, sitting on the snow-covered bench with an exhausted slump.

"Giants."

"_What_?" Lily said. She'd never seen a real Giant in all her life, but she had heard their attacks were getting more frequent. "James—"

"—Is fine. Scratched up and shaken, but completely alive," he finished.

She let out a sigh of relief, her entire body sagging at the wonderful news that her husband was alive. Sirius patted her back and she struggled to keep standing up straight. Lily was exhausted.

"Sorry, there's an emergency meeting at Headquarters right now. I should have said so sooner, but I just needed to sit down a minute…"

"Take your time," Sirius said. "They'll wait for us."

Fabian nodded, exhaling shakily and closing his eyes. "All other plans have been postponed in light of the Giants," he said. "Dumbledore's beside himself. He knew this would happen, but he was ignored, as usual. The village was nearly destroyed," he said, shivering.

When Fabian finally recovered, they Disapparated together to the Prewetts' where James was waiting outside. Sirius and Fabian gave them their privacy. She almost jumped at him, but he caught her quickly and she sighed in relief when she felt him around her.

"Oh, fuck, you're freezing," he said, wrapping her in his arms, her cheek pressing against his cheek. She was trembling, but it wasn't because she was cold.

"Fuck the cold, are you okay?" she asked him, holding his face in her mitten-covered hands. But that wasn't close enough, so she threw her mittens on the ground and put her cold hands on his face, touching as much of him as she could, making sure he really was in one piece.

"I'm okay," he said, nodding, even smiling out of relief. Her eyes welled up with tears involuntarily and she blinked them away, wrapping her arms around his neck again and squeezing as tightly as she could as he picked her up by the waist.

She could feel his short breaths on her neck and she couldn't express how grateful she was that he was still breathing. Lily knew it was her James, but if she didn't ask, someone would tear her eyes out for it.

"The gift your parents gave me for Christmas last year?" she asked quietly.

"Phoenix feather quill," he responded. "Where we got coffee on our first date?" he asked, smiling. He asked it like he was remembering pleasant memories instead of verifying her identity. Sirius was right. He was too damn trusting for his own good.

"Tomes and Scrolls," she answered. "We should go inside," she said, wishing they could just disappear to their cottage and never leave it again.

He nodded against her neck and held her hand as they walked in.

The tension in the room was palpable. Dumbledore looked grave, and it was all Lily could do to keep from crying out, just to get all of this strain out of her body.

"We have suffered a great loss today," Dumbledore said gravely. He didn't say anything for a long while after that and people bowed their heads. Remus walked into the room quietly, and Lily smiled at him. He grimaced in return.

"There were some losses, some I'm sure you will hear about tomorrow," he continued. "Miraculously, none of the Order were killed, but we have loss much more than just human lives today. The involvement of the Giants in this wizard's war will no doubt mean grave casualties on both ends, but no more than the ones the Giants will suffer. I have no doubt that the Ministry will try to respond with force, which will undoubtedly mean the death of countless Giants."

Lily felt the dread engulf her. She knew the Giants weren't a particularly kind species, but the death of thousands of them was a great loss indeed.

"What can we do?" Fabian asked. "If we can't kill them, what can we do?"

Dumbledore turned his eyes to the ground, which was a rare thing for Dumbledore. "In the face of death, there is not much one can do but strive for survival. I would not think any less of any of you if you chose your own lives over a Giant's, however, if there is a chance to preserve their species from extinction, I will take that opportunity. I only hope the Giants give up their fight before that becomes a reality. All I can advise is to stay alive, and remain vigilant. If any of you do not want a part in this anymore and wish to go into hiding, I will understand, and again, I will not think less of you for doing so."

No one in the room moved.

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "There will be time for recuperation, but not much, I'm afraid. We cannot take a day off simply because we wish it. We will resume in the morning," he said, disappearing, probably back to Hogwarts.

Lily gave Alice and Frank hugs, who had both been present with James earlier that evening. Both had also escaped unscathed. She told them they would catch up soon, but right now, all she wanted was to go home.

When they were in their cottage, James didn't say a word, but instead brought her directly upstairs. She understood his need to be close to her; she felt it too, and she lost herself for those few moments.

"Let's move to Australia," he said, his fingers tracing her jaw as they lay in bed face-to-face.

"I thought we agreed Antarctica would be our dream destination," she said, feeling safe for the first time since…well, since her honeymoon.

"Whatever. Whichever. Anywhere, I don't care, as long as you're there," he said.

She examined his face, a bit speechless at how much she loved him. But she saw something in his eyes she hadn't seen before and it was a bit unnerving.

"James?" she asked, moving closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist. "Why do you want to move all of a sudden? I thought we said we would stay and make it a better place to live."

"I know," he said, nodding. But there it was again, that little flicker inside his eyes. Was it fear?

"Tell me what's bothering you."

He closed his eyes, blocking her from seeing the flicker. But she knew it was fear now, she was convinced of it.

"James," she said, putting her hand on his face when he didn't answer.

"I almost ran," he admitted, quietly. She'd never heard him sound so broken, so lost.

"The Giants?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "When I saw them, I almost Disapparated on the spot. If it weren't for Fabian screaming at me to get back, I would have. I would have come straight to you and Sirius, and then right to Australia, or Antarctica, or whatever. I was so close," he said, his voice trembling.

"But you didn't," she said. "James, look at me."

He opened his eyes and now she understood. He was afraid of being a coward.

"You didn't run," she said. "And not because Fabian called you back, but because you are a stag, a Gryffindor, a brave, brave man. Even if it was only you against all the Giants in the world, protecting a neighborhood of Muggles by yourself, you know what you would have done?"

He looked torn, desperate for her to understand. "I don't know," he answered.

"No," she said, smiling. "You would have stayed, and I have no doubt about that."

"But I almost didn't—"

"Because that's the reaction all humans have!" she said, sitting up a little. "You think you're the only one who almost ran as soon as they saw the Giants? Of course you weren't! Every single one of them were thinking the exact same thing, and I can guarantee you that," she said.

"But in Cokeworth, the Death Eaters, you ran _towards_ them. If you saw Giants, you would have run towards them too—"

She laughed, surprising him. "That day in Cokeworth when you told me to go to my mum and check she was safe, I almost did. Every cell in my body was telling me to leave, but I didn't. And neither did you. Because that's who you are, James."

"But what if I can't anymore?" he asked. "What if I don't want to?"

She shrugged. "Then we move to Antarctica."

"That easily?"

"Yes."

She watched as he considered it, knowing that he never would.

He sighed. "You're too damn smart for your own good," he said.

She smiled. "What do you mean?"

He narrowed his eyes. "How did you know I wasn't going to move us to Antarctica as soon as you agreed to it?"

She let out a frustrated groan and grabbed his face in both of her hands. "Because I know you, James Potter! You told me yourself you weren't fearless. I know that. I don't love you because you're not fearless, I love you because you will always stay and fight despite your fears! You're a bloody Gryffindor, right down to your core, and I know that's never going to change, whether you're up against Giants, or Dementors, or Voldemort himself. You will always stay and fight. It's what gives me the courage to stand with you, you dumb prick," she said, grinning at him widely.

He smiled in return, his eyes like melting honey. "I love you."

"I love you more, stupid," she said.

He scowled. "You're not supposed to call me stupid if you love me."

"Sure I can. Your stupidity can be entirely endearing at times."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me that's what you like best about me. Because that would seriously put a dampen on our marriage."

She laughed and kissed him. "Amongst other things," she said, throwing the covers over them and giving in to one of the things—but not the most important thing—that she loved best about James.

.

The Order was having a small Christmas gathering for those who wished to join in at the Prewett's. It was mostly a casual pop-in for those without families, or those who had to do Order business on the holidays, but the Marauders and Lily took it as a chance to catch up. Fabian and Gideon's sister, Molly Weasley and her children were also here, which made for a very full, and loud gathering.

James noted that even Remus looked a considerable amount better.

Christmas presents were basically nonexistent this year since no one had enough time, or even bothered, to shop. It was a bit counterintuitive to block out time for Christmas presents in between tracking Death Eaters and protecting Muggles from Giants. Lily and James agreed that their Christmas presents to each other would be spending a night in their home, just chatting like they used to back in Hogwarts before the Order took over their lives.

"Hey, Pete," he said, sitting next to his small friend. He had been losing a bit of hair on top of his head, and he may have lost a bit of weight, but who hadn't been affected by the stress these days? All of them were looking a bit rough, with maybe the exception of Lily, who, to James, still glowed as brightly as her Patronus.

"James," Peter greeted.

"You all right? Heard about what happened in the neighborhood you and Benjy were monitoring. Both of you got out though, without major injuries, so that's good news," he said.

Peter nodded, looking miserable. "Couldn't stop it."

"No one could stop the Giants," he said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "Remus' neighborhood was attacked as well." Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. "Cheer up, it's Christmas!" he said, figuring that was better than anything else.

Pete nodded, sipping his eggnog.

One of the Weasley children ran into the room—the oldest, with long hair and a wide grin. As he ran, his younger brother ran in after him with huge smiles on both their faces.

"You want to get out of here?" Lily asked, sitting on his lap.

"Mm, yes," he said, finishing the rest of his eggnog. He watched as the Weasley brothers laughed and fought, pulling and tugging on one another until—_bam_.

"Boys!" Molly could be heard shouting. She came into the room, her third child, Percy, clutching her dress, with one of her newborn twins in her arms. "Bill, what did I say about being rough with your brother—" she said, evaluating the scene with her narrowed eyes. She needed more hands.

"Lily, dear, would you mind holding Fred for a moment? Or is that George—no matter, thank you, dear," she said, handing the seven-month old into Lily's arms. The previously whining baby who had been awoken by his mother's disciplining of his brothers, was now staring up at Lily with wide, blue eyes.

She held him unconfidently, but the little Fred—or George—didn't seem to notice. James looked at Lily, something strange happening inside his chest, and he couldn't help but smiling.

Fred laughed and Lily smiled, looking surprised that such a small baby could make such a noise. James watched her face as she began to coo at the happy baby, while Molly continued to chastise her two oldest boys, who had managed to knock the tree over. Sirius had quickly helped in restoring the decorations, but Molly wasn't done with them yet.

James put out his finger to Fred/George and the little bloke wrapped his tiny fingers around it, gripping tightly. Lily grinned at him, and he smiled back, a bit overcome with an emotion he couldn't quite place.

"We're sorry," the elder Weasley boys said to them, looking thoroughly chastised.

"For what?" Molly said sternly.

"We're sorry for being rowdy and disru—dis—" they looked to their mother for guidance.

"Disruptive."

"Disruptive," they finished. James grinned as Sirius laughed.

"It's completely all right," James said. "The tree looks better now anyway." But Bill and Charlie were no longer paying attention as they ran into the next room, ready to knock over the next freestanding thing large enough to make a big enough noise. Molly stared after them exasperatedly before shaking her head and turning back to Lily.

Molly sighed, smiling at Lily. "He likes you," she said, regarding James and Lily with a motherly expression. "That must be Fred. He was always a tad bit calmer."

"He's beautiful, Molly. All of them are."

She sighed again. "Thank you, dear. But a right handful. Five boys, and all of them, except Percy here," she said, looking down at the two-year old clutching her dress, "troublemakers. Even the twins, not even a year old yet, and I can tell they're going to be miscreants," she said, with a smile on her face.

"He seems perfectly agreeable to me," Lily said, her face in a wide smile as she rocked little Fred in her arms.

There was another crash from the other room. Molly groaned.

"I have him, Molly, go ahead," Lily assured her. Molly sent her a grateful look as she and Percy ran off to the next noise.

James put his chin on Lily's shoulder.

"Sorry, you don't mind staying a bit longer, do you?" she asked him. "Molly seems like she could use a bit of a break…"

"Of course," he said. Fred was beginning to fall asleep, but he still had a tight grip on James' finger. "I want one," he said quietly.

Lily turned her head to look at him. "Want one _what?_ A Weasley?" she asked, confused. "I believe that's considered kidnapping, even though it would probably be helpful for Molly at the moment."

He smiled, moving his finger gently. Fred still held on. "Not a Weasley. A Potter."

She stared at him in shock, even forgetting to rock sleeping Fred. "You want a _baby_?" she whispered.

"What, don't you?" he asked her, removing his chin from her shoulder so he could get a better look at her face.

"You mean eventually, right? Like in the far, _far_ future?" she asked, looking fearful.

"Er, well, eventually too, but also, sort of right now," he said, grinning at her.

Lily continued to stare at him as if he had declared he was going to run for Minister for Magic.

"James, you must have had too much eggnog—"

"I only had one glass," he complained.

"How could you possibly want a baby now?" she asked, whispering since Fred had finally fallen asleep, and probably because she didn't want other people overhearing their conversation.

"Why not? Look at us, managed to get him sleeping and everything. We'd be great parents, I reckon," he whispered back, anxious to prove to Lily that he could keep the baby sleeping.

She rolled her eyes. "Parenting is not just about getting babies to _sleep_," she said. "You have to be there for them, and wake up in the middle of the night, and change _diapers_, and make sure you don't permanently, psychologically damage them, and—the _war_!" she said, hissing the word. "How can we raise a child in the middle a war?"

"The Weasleys are raising five of them," he said.

"Yes, but neither of them are in the Order, doing dangerous jobs for Dumbledore on a daily basis!"

"We'll leave," he said. "Antarctica."

She was still looking at him incredulously. "James, you can't just decide that you want a baby and say you'll leave. You can't just move on from a baby when you have it—it's a lifelong commitment—"

"I know!" he said, frowning. "Don't you think I know that?"

"Well, you can be a tad bit impulsive sometimes—"

He looked at her in shock. "This isn't just an _impulse_—"

"Thanks, Lily, dear," Molly said, returning. "Oh, bless you, you've gotten him asleep," she said. "Would you mind bringing him to the crib?"

"Of course," Lily said, standing from his lap without looking at him and following Molly upstairs. Sirius was eyeing him strangely.

"Trouble?" he asked when Lily disappeared up the stairs.

James frowned. He couldn't believe she thought he wanted this based on an impulse—

"If I had kids, you'd be the godfather, right?"

Sirius' eyes popped. "Merlin, is Lily—"

"No!" James said instantly. "No, no, of course not."

"Fucking hell, Prongs," Sirius said, laughing nervously. "Scared the living shit out of me."

"But would you?"

Sirius looked anxious. "Can you see me being a godfather? I mean, I can barely take care of myself, never mind be responsible for another little blighter—"

"But you would, if I died?"

"Bloody hell, how much eggnog have you had?"

"Just the one," he said, frowning. "What's so wrong with wanting kids, anyway?"

Sirius grimaced. "Kind of a shitty time," he said. "I feel like you should be talking about this with Lily, not me."

James watched as she descended the stairs, smiling at Molly and laughing as Percy held her hand, a timid smile on the boy's face. God, he wanted it so badly now, it was all he could think about. Bloody hell.

James and Lily said goodbye to everyone and thanked the Prewetts for hosting them. Percy was having a hard time letting go of Lily's hand, but she promised to see him again soon and gave him back to Molly.

"Are we going to talk about this?" James asked her when they arrived home.

"I don't think there is much to talk about," she said, looking at him calmly. "We can't have kids now."

"Why not?"

"James!" she said, looking crazed. "Are you even hearing yourself right now? Have you taken a look outside recently? You and I both, we just finished twelve hour shifts of watching Death Eater homes for possible activity. You want to bring a baby into that world?"

"I'm telling you, we could leave it—"

"If this is about fear, or bravery, or I don't even know—"

"It's not," he said, assuring it. "I swear it's not just an excuse to leave. I really, genuinely want to."

She looked tired. "I can't right now. I'm not ready to do that," she said. "I'm not going to orphan my child before he's even old enough to remember who we are," she said.

"We're going to be fine, Lily."

She didn't look convinced, but she didn't say anything. He knew what she was thinking, but neither of them wanted to say it out loud.

James sighed, resigning. "Okay," he said, walking towards her and wrapping her in his arms. She held his waist and sighed into his shoulder. He felt her relax a little, but he could tell she was still anxious about him. "But we wouldn't be orphaning her."

"What's the rush, anyway?" she asked. "You saw the Weasleys, no peace and quiet, no privacy…are you telling me you're ready to give all that up, Potter?" she asked, smiling at him. She could tell she had won this fight for now. James wasn't giving up, he was just going to wait. "I quite enjoy our private moments."

He laughed lightly and sat down on the couch. Lily sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I enjoy them too. I just…I don't know. You saw the look on Molly's face when she was looking at her boys. I just don't want us to miss out on anything because we're doing other stuff."

"We're not going to miss out. We're still young. I'm still eighteen for another month, let me enjoy that at least," she said, smiling.

He smiled back, but it wasn't entirely sincere. He was worried about time. He had the ominous feeling that there wasn't enough of it. Ironically, that was the reason Lily didn't want to have a child, in case it ran out before they could see their kid grow up.

But if they did have one now, James would be willing to seclude himself in Antarctica with Lily and their child and never see another soul again, if it meant that it would give them more time.

But if she wasn't ready, then he couldn't do anything about that.

"You look so disappointed," she noted, smiling at him lovingly. Her fingers were brushing his forehead, his lips, his cheeks…

"I'm not," he lied. She didn't believe him. "Maybe just a little. You have to admit, Evans, our kids would be bloody good-looking."

She smiled. "When this is all over, we can fill this entire house with little black-haired, hazel-eyed Potters, and when the house is full, we'll just keep adding onto it until it's a whole mess of different parts. You won't ever have peace and quiet ever again, and I'll look at you and say, 'Are you happy now, Potter?' and you'll curse the day you ever met me."

He laughed, closing his eyes and burying his face into her neck. Merlin, he could live an eternity with Lily.

"I'd much prefer redheaded, green-eyed Potters," he said, kissing her exposed skin.

Her fingers ran along his scalp, tangling themselves in his hair. "Mm, they'd look too much like the Weasleys. As much as I love them, we want Potters, not Weasleys. And I reckon we have enough gingers around these parts, don't you think?"

He grinned and retracted his head. "Black-haired, green-eyed Potters then."

"With terrible vision," she said, smiling and fixing his glasses.

"Mm, and good at Quidditch."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "No, good at _school."_

He shook his head. "She won't have time—she'll be playing Quidditch and getting into detention."

Lily laughed. "She?"

"Well, there are five Weasley boys already, so I reckon there's a good chance she'll end up marrying _one_ of them."

Lily laughed and kissed him. "You're amazing," she said, staring at him with a smile that made his heart soar.

"And we'd make amazing babies. But if you want to wait, that's fine too," he said.

She kissed him again. "Thank you."

"But that doesn't mean we're going to stop practicing, right?"

She groaned. "You are unbearable," she said, standing up from his lap and walking into the next room.

"Lily, you didn't answer the question!"

"Goodnight, Potter!"

* * *

**Author's Note: So, I told you I was going to skip a lot of months. Hopefully it wasn't too confusing. We're almost at the end! Sad times, I know. But what'll make both of us feel better is if you leave a review! I always try to respond to in-depth reviews and I will answer any questions you have about the chapters. (No spoilers though!) Also, keep in mind that the website doesn't allow me to respond to guest reviews, just FYI. I don't know if I can change that, but yeah. REVIEW!**

**Yay, Weasleys! **


	26. Chapter 26: In Our Midst

**26: In Our Midst**

"Do you have news for the Dark Lord?" Severus asked the whimpering, cowardly, pathetic excuse of a human kneeling in front of him.

"Edgar B—Bones. He's going to be alone on the night when he should be guarding a Muggleborn's house," he said.

"How do you know he's going to be alone?"

"Lu—Lupin is supposed to be with him, but it's the full moon, so Bones said he could do it by himself—"

"Very well. If your information is wrong, Pettigrew, it will be you who pays," Snape said.

Pettigrew nodded, groveling at Sev's feet. "Spare me, please, spare me," he said.

"The Dark Lord will protect you as long as you continue to deliver," he said. "In fact, he would like to meet you," Snape drawled, watching as Peter began to cry.

"No, please, please…"

He dragged Pettigrew to the inner room where his Master was waiting. The back of the chair was all they could see, but Sev could feel the strength of the Dark Lord's strength before him.

"Bella," he hissed. Lestrange knelt at his feet, the look of pure obsession in her eyes.

"My Lord," she cooed.

"Bring the traitor spy before me."

Bellatrix grinned, her teeth as sharp as knives as she dragged a whimpering Pettigrew in front of the Dark Lord.

"Hm. So this is the Gryffindor scum who is willing to give up his friends in order to save his own skin," the Dark Lord hissed, the words slipping off his tongue like a slick liquid. "You should have been in Slytherin."

"Yes, yes, my Lord, anything, please…"

"Can you give me Dumbledore?" he asked.

"The school, he's mostly at the school—"

"Who leads your meetings, then?"

"The Prewetts," he said. "Aurors. Fabian and Gideon Prewett. And sometimes Edgar Bones. Moody, Alastor Moody!"

The Dark Lord laughed. "Very well, do not dirty my floor, lion scum," he said. "Bella, we need Moody dead. Send men to kill him."

"My Lord. And the others?"

"Bones will be dealt with, won't he, Severus?" the Dark Lord said without turning to face him.

"Yes, my Lord."

"S-Severus?" Peter said, looking at him, his eyes wide.

"Quiet," the Dark Lord snapped. Pettigrew shut his mouth instantly. "Do not disappoint me, Severus."

"I will not, my Lord."

"Now," Voldemort said to his loving supporters, with a slow-growing smile. "I require an elf."

.

By June 1979, both Lily and James were nineteen and had survived their first year outside of Hogwarts. With the news of Lily's mother's death in April, Lily had lost almost all ties to her Muggle life, especially since Petunia hadn't bothered to invite her to her own mother's funeral. She was torn apart by her mother's passing, but in all honesty, she realized she had long since said goodbye to her mother, probably since the day she married James. Her life with the Order and with James continued on much like before despite the fact that her mother was now gone.

It still hurt, regardless. Lily knew in her heart that she would never see her sister again, and she mourned for that too.

The end of another Hogwarts year brought some familiar faces to the Order. Marlene McKinnon and her family members decided to join Dumbledore's cause and Lily gave her friend a hug the first meeting they saw each other. James greeted his Assistant Captain warmly, congratulating her on the Gryffindor Quidditch Cup win, and everyone pretended not to notice her and Remus dance around each other like they were avoiding stepping in puddles.

Lily could hardly believe it had been a year of fighting Death Eaters. Her and James both had some close calls, along with Frank and Alice, who had since passed their Auror training and had already begun to put Death Eaters in Azkaban. They had also battled with Voldemort a second time and lived, something they now had in common with Lily and James. Everyone was thoroughly impressed with both couples, and Lily couldn't believe that all of them were still here together, alive.

She wondered darkly how much longer that could last.

"Attention, everyone," Dumbledore said. "Edgar Bones was ambushed last night at his post, but thankfully, he was able to get away relatively unscathed," he announced.

There were a series of gasps and hushed, incredulous whispers. Edgar Bones was a very accomplished and skilled wizard, and he would have been a great loss had he not escaped. Lily refused to look at James at this point, worried that she would allow her fear to consume her with one look at his face.

Lily couldn't help but feel the end was upon them.

"I must stress the importance that if you cannot make your post," he said, looking each one in the eye, "you must ensure that it is taken up by somebody else. I understand this is a demanding job and it requires long hours than can be very tolling on one's well-being, however, we cannot weaken our front."

Lily knew everyone was trying to figure out whom it was that did not make his post last night when Edgar was attacked. She hoped no one noticed that Remus was not present at this meeting. He had enough scrupulous eyes on him already without needing the weight of Edgar Bones' attack on his hands. She noticed Peter trembling in fear and she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Sirius was frowning with a brewing look in his eyes and she could see the storm ahead.

"On another note," Dumbledore said. "The Giants have retreated into small pocket communities in the north and have stopped attacking Muggle neighborhoods," he said. There was another small spattering of slightly more enthusiastic whispers this time, but they were still withdrawn. "However, we must not think this is the end of the repercussions. Many of the Giants are dead, and I would not be surprised if there are less than two hundred now left in total," he said gravely. "Wizards will again suffer the consequences of our actions for treating Giants in such a manner, and I urge you all to be wary of that fact."

Moody grumbled. "We're still putting Death Eaters away, but the inner circle keeps eluding us. The Lestranges, in particular. I have a strong suspicion the Malfoys, but I don't have proof. If any of you encounter any of them, you send your Patronuses to me first. Do not engage unless you are a trained Auror. Also, keep watch for new Death Eaters coming out of Hogwarts," he said. He looked to Dumbledore with a gruff expression. "No offence."

Dumbledore nodded once, looking serene. "None taken, Alastor."

The meeting ended and James went to go chat with Moody about one of his assignments. Sirius came over, broodingly, and she prepared herself for his new attempt to convince her of Remus' guilt.

"It wasn't him," she said before he could say anything.

"How do you know?" he asked. "He wasn't there—"

"It was the moon last night," she said, glaring. "James was with him. Where were you?"

"_I'm_ not the spy," he hissed at her.

"That—that's not what I meant!" she said. "I trust you with my life, more importantly, I trust you with _James'_ life. The same goes for anyone in this room, including Remus."

He wasn't convinced. "But he didn't get a replacement—"

"He probably tried. You know Edgar. He probably didn't want to burden anyone else and figured he'd be fine on his own."

"Exactly! And Remus could have sold him out to the Death Eaters! You know they've been wanting him dead for quite a while now."

She tried to come off as calm as possible. Peter was looking very distraught and she knew all of this was maybe a bit too much to handle.

"Sirius, it's not him. It was just a matter of wrong place, wrong time. We can't start mistrusting each other, or else we'll just fall apart."

He didn't say anything, but continued to look darkly at the ground. She knew there was more than just Remus bothering him, considering that with the end of another Hogwarts year, his brother Regulus was now free to do as he wished.

.

Regulus paced back and forth, his mind racing. Kreacher's recount of what had happened on his excursion with the Dark Lord was still replaying in his mind, changing the connections in his brain, forming new ideas and solutions and eating at his soul. He didn't know what he was supposed to do next.

But something had to be done.

The Dark Lord's manifesto was supposed to be about bringing wizards out of secrecy and ruling over the Muggles, not this cruelty towards _magical_ creatures—the look on Kreacher's face was…wrong—his descriptions, his tears—

There was a large crack and Regulus jumped, looking up.

"Hey, Reg," Sirius said, a dark frown on his face.

Regulus took out his wand, and noticed Sirius didn't have his out. He was the last person Regulus wanted to see right now. That word kept bouncing around his head, that dark, forbidden word… How could the Dark Lord _do_ such a thing to his soul?

"How did you find me?" Regulus asked, his voice rough for not speaking for so long.

Sirius laughed. "You're my brother. Where else would you be?" he said, tilting his head to the side.

Regulus didn't think his brother would actually turn up here, the little shack they frequented as children a couple blocks from their house to escape the miserable shouting of their parents. He didn't think Sirius even remembered this place.

"Are you here to take me in?" Regulus asked calmly.

"Why, have you done something to merit that?" Sirius asked him. He still hadn't drawn his wand, which made Regulus suspicious.

"What are you doing here?" he spat out. He needed to think and Sirius was not helping. Kreacher needed his help, and he needed to figure out what he was going to do about the Horc—

"I'm here to convince you, one last time—"

"Save your breath!" Regulus said, his voice cracking. Sirius looked alarmed.

"Reg, you look deranged. Look, as far as I know, you haven't done anything punishable by imprisonment yet—"

"You don't know anything!" he yelled, grabbing his hair and pacing again. The Dark Lord, he lied—this was just about himself and his quest for immortality—not about freeing the wizards from oppression—everything he believed was beginning to change and he couldn't think—

"Calm down," Sirius said, extending a hand to him, his face softening.

"I don't need your help," Regulus hissed, pointing his wand at Sirius' chest. "Leave."

Sirius frowned. "I'm not leaving until you hear me out."

Regulus glared at his brother, unmoving.

"Reg, you and me, we used to be close, no? We said we'd go travel the world and learn about other wizards in other countries. We can still do that, if you just come with me now—"

Regulus' jaw twitched.

"Please, Reg," Sirius said, taking a step towards him, hands open. "You don't need to do this. I can help—"

"I needed your help eight years ago, but you left!" Regulus shouted before he could stop himself.

Sirius' eye popped, stopping in place. "What do you mean?"

Regulus turned, pacing again, wishing he could stop himself from talking, but the words kept spilling out like water through a cracked dam. "When you left for Hogwarts, you know what they did to me? They locked me in my bedroom, without food, until I swore by their rules and promised not to disobey them. And where were you—in _Gryffindor_, of all places, with your new best friend, James Potter! And you forgot about me! You abandoned me!" Regulus yelled, his throat raw and his anger threatening to crush him.

Sirius was speechless. He was staring at Regulus with his mouth open, his eyes as wide as Kreacher's, and Regulus swore. Kreacher, what was he going to do about _Kreacher_? Kreacher, his only friend when his brother left him for Hogwarts—

"Reg, I didn't know—"

"Of course you didn't! Because when you came back from Hogwarts, you know what you did? You ignored our family, ignored me—locked yourself in your room with your Gryffindor pride and made it your mission to sequester yourself away from anything Black! Including me!"

"It was never about you—"

"Yes, I was just excess baggage, wasn't I?" Regulus spat out. "Fuck you, Sirius. Leave me alone. You never had any problem with it before."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, looking more broken than Regulus could ever remember him looking. It did nothing for him anymore. He had other things to worry about than his brother's guilt. "I'm sorry for doing that to you, it was wrong. I'm sorry for what they did to you, I never knew. But it isn't too late. We can fix this, Reg. Come on—"

"I said, leave!" he shouted, pointing his wand at Sirius' chest and shooting out a random hex that first came to mind. Sirius, unarmed, went flying into the wall and fell against the floor.

Regulus froze, looking at the slumped figure of his brother. Was he dead? What did he do?

"Sirius," Regulus said, taking a cautious step forward.

His brother coughed and Regulus let out a small breath of relief. He dusted himself off and stood, and Regulus almost offered a hand to him, but kept his hand firmly to his side.

"Fine. But it's not too late," Sirius said to the ground, refusing to look at him in the eye. "I'm your brother, and I always will be. If you change your mind, find me," he said, taking out his wand and Disapparating on the spot.

Regulus swore, his brain hurting. No, he couldn't back out now. They'd just find him and kill him. And knowing what he knew, that would be a waste of his death. He needed to die doing something more meaningful than running like a coward, under the protection of his brother's shadow—

A glimmer of gold caught Regulus' eye from the ground and he bent to inspect it. It must have fallen out of Sirius' pocket when he was thrown to the ground. Regulus picked it up and ran his thumb over the gold locket. What would his brother be doing with a locket?

The locket—the Horcrux, the potion, Kreacher, the Inferi—

Regulus stood from the ground, putting the locket into his robes. The plan began to form inside his head, his thoughts becoming strangely clear as he straightened out, his shoulders becoming lighter as he fingered the locket in his pocket.

He knew what he must do now and he let the realization settle in. He knew what the only outcome was for his plan and it chilled his bones, making his muscles stiff with fear, but he didn't let it weigh him down. He stood tall and thought of his brother, the Gryffindor, and what he would do. Regulus could do this.

He walked back to his home on Grimmauld Place and understood that this was the last time he was going to see it.

Regulus found Kreacher in his cupboard, the elf still shaken by the effects of the potion, his wide eyes glossy with unshed tears.

"Master Regulus?" he asked, trembling.

"Kreacher, take me to the cave."

.

Sirius showed up at James and Lily's home, looking distraught. Remus and Peter were already here, getting ready to leave when he stormed in the door. Lily tried asking him what was wrong, but he refused to speak, just getting out James' Firewhiskey and pouring himself a glass. Lily looked at James in alarm, but he discreetly told her he'd handle and she nodded, disappearing upstairs.

"Mind sharing?" James asked as the three of them sat down in front of Sirius. Sirius passed him the Firewhiskey, but that wasn't what James meant. He got out three extra glasses anyway and poured one for Moony, Wormtail and for himself, holding it in his hands.

"Fuck. Should have just moved to Australia when I had the chance," he grumbled, downing another cup. "Fuck."

"What happened?" Remus asked.

Sirius glared at a knot in the table. "Nothing. S'not important."

"Right," James said, taking a small sip of his drink. He saw Lily appear in the living room again, looking to James to see if she could come in. He shrugged, and she entered.

"So, Sirius, your birthday's coming up," she said, getting out a glass for herself. "You'll be turning twenty! That's a big deal," she said, pouring herself some Firewhiskey. "Should we start planning something?"

He drained the rest of his glass and poured himself more. Lily shot James a sideways glance.

"Fuck my birthday," he said, grumpily. "Fuck everything. Fuck my life, fuck my family, fuck the war, fuck _Hogwarts_, fuck Voldemort—"

"Sirius!" Lily said. "Calm down! What is going on?"

He stood from his chair and began pacing, running his hands through his hair. He continued to mutter under his breath.

"Padfoot, tell us what happened. Did you find Regulus?" James asked.

"Fuck Regulus!" he screamed angrily.

"I guess that's a yes," James muttered to Lily. She looked at him, concerned. "Did you attack him?"

"Should have. Should have just knocked him out and tied him up and brought him back—"

He stopped pacing and drained his glass, quickly pouring himself another one and draining that one as well. James could tell Lily wanted to put it away, but she didn't move.

"I'm sure you did everything you could—"

"Fuck, I just want to drink without punching anyone in the face, okay?" he said, sitting down. "That's the only reason I'm here. I don't want to talk about, for _fuck's_ sake."

James nodded and Lily stood, putting her hand on Sirius' shoulder as she passed. "Don't stay up too late," she said to James. "We have an early shift in the morning, remember?" James nodded and she turned to the rest of them. "Oh, and please don't break my house," she said as a parting sentiment, smiling at them before she went upstairs.

Sirius continued to drink and eventually passed out on the table, but Remus and Peter had left much before that. James moved his best friend to the couch and went upstairs where Lily was fast asleep. He checked the clock—they had to be up in an hour. He collapsed in bed beside Lily and closed his eyes.

"James," Lily said, shaking him awake. He opened his eyes, blurry, and saw Lily's face in front of his. "Time to get up."

James groaned as Lily went downstairs. He got out of bed and showered, trying to get rid of the stinging of his eyeballs. When he got downstairs, the couch was empty.

"Where'd Sirius go?" he asked Lily as she handed him a cup of coffee.

She shrugged. "He was gone when I got downstairs," she said, yawning. He noticed she had bags under her eyes as well.

"What time did you get to sleep?" he asked her, taking a sip of his coffee.

"A couple hours before you came to bed," she said.

"Did I wake you?"

She waved her hand at him. "You were quiet, I was just having a bad night," she said. "Ready?"

He nodded and drained the rest of the scalding liquid. She walked past him, ready to leave, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her against him before she could get too far. She smiled at him and put her arms on his shoulders.

"Good morning," he said, kissing her lightly.

"Mm, morning," she said, quickly hugging him before letting him go. "Let's try not to die today, hm?"

They Apparated to the Prewetts, where they were brought to the neighborhood they were supposed to be watching over this morning. They relieved Benjy Fenwick and Marlene, who gave them a small, tired smile as she left.

Lily shivered and James offered his coat, but she told him she wouldn't need it soon. The sun was rising and they were sitting on a hill, silently watching the Muggle neighborhood, one rumored to be the next target of Death Eaters, considering many 'blood traitors' resided here.

James yawned as Lily leaned her head on his shoulder. "I bet Aurors get better hours than this," she said quietly.

"Probably. But then they have to come work for Dumbledore afterward, so I'm still pretty sure this is the best option," he said.

"Did Sirius say anything after I left last night?"

"Nope."

She sighed. "I'm worried about him. I feel like he might do something rash."

"He'll be fine. Sirius is a survivor. Hot-headed, but he won't do something he'll end up regretting. He likes his life too much to waste it brooding over some stupid decision."

"Do you think this will be over soon?"

"Our shift _just_ started, Lil," he said.

"Not our shift," she said, rolling her eyes. "I meant the war. Everything. I just want to be able to have a normal breakfast with you without having to leave and sit in front of neighborhood, pretending to be sightseeing."

James wasn't sure what to tell her. There were no signs of it ending. Even thought the Giant attacks had stopped, the Death Eaters were recruited people at every corner, and the Ministry wasn't doing anything productive. They hadn't caught someone in almost weeks, and Moody was getting restless. He couldn't see how it would end anytime soon, especially since no one was even remotely close to killing Voldemort, who seemed to deflect curses like he was made of mirrors.

He could tell her all of this, but he knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"We could always move to Antarctica," he said, putting his arm over her shoulders.

"Mm, you're going to have to learn how to hunt seal," she said.

James chuckled. "Good think I've always fancied you in fur," he said.

She laughed and hit him in the stomach. "I'm not moving there unless you build me a proper house. I refuse to live in an igloo."

He pretended to be severely burdened by it. "_Fine_. Merlin, I never would have married you if I'd known you were such a Niffler," he said.

She looked up at him with a smile, which erased the bags underneath her eyes and brought color to her face. "Cheeky bastard," she said, kissing him.

"You're going to have to work for it, Evans," he said. "If you want me to build you a house, you're going to have to cook all my meals, and give me lots of children."

"I already cook all your meals, you twat," she said.

"So the children, then," he said. "Grace and Harry, at least. Twins, maybe. Then the rest, we can figure out later."

"Grace and Harry Potter," she said, smiling. "I like it. But our first born is going to be a boy," she said. "There's no way it won't be."

"Want to bet?" he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Chores for two weeks after the baby's born. If it's Harry, I'll do everything. If it's Gracey—" James stopped at the look on her face. "—Fine, I'll still do everything."

She smiled. "Good, I almost thought you were going to propose I do all the house chores right after I've carried another human being in my body for nine months and then pushed it out of my nether regions."

James grinned.

"So, what do you say? Since you've got nothing to lose except bragging rights, bet on it. Harry, and you win. Grace, and I win."

She put her hand in his and shook. "To Harry James Potter, our first child."

He laughed. "Grace Lily Potter won't be too pleased about that."

She made a face. "I don't want our child's middle name to be named after me."

"Why not? You decided Harry's will be mine."

"Because it sounds perfect! Harry James Potter. You've got to admit, it's the name of a hero."

"Grace Lily is equally heroic."

"Whatever, we can discuss this in the future since Grace will have to wait until after Harry is born anyway, and that could be years off," she said, grinning.

He shook his head. "May be sooner than—"

James couldn't finish his sentence when there was a flash of green light in the distance of one of the streets. They jumped to their feet, quickly getting their wands out and sending multiple Patronuses to the relevant parties.

"Ready?" he asked her. She nodded and they ran to the source of the lights.

"Potter!" he heard one of the Death Eaters calling his name. He looked at Lily, who looked alarmed. "Come out, come _out_, Potter!"

"How did they know we'd be here?" she asked him, hiding behind one of the houses. It was still too early for the Muggles to be awake, but with this shouting and the lights, they would be up soon.

"Show me your Mudblood wife, Potter! I want to teach her a lesson in tainting pure blood families with her mud blood—"

"Lil," he said to her.

"Don't you dare say it," she said sternly. "Help is on the way, we just need to keep them busy until then. I'm not leaving you here alone, idiot."

He nodded reluctantly and they came out from behind the house.

"Travers," he greeted. "Ah, Rosier and Wilkes, too. Thought I saw you at the last Giant attack, but I couldn't be sure."

"Potter," Travers said, grinning. "Ah, and your Mudblood whore. I've been looking forward to this for—"

Lily shot a curse at his head before he could finish and the small street erupted into a flurry of lights and yelling. She was dueling Travers while James took Rosier and Wilkes. A green light flew past James' head and he turned to see Lily dodge it quickly and he breathed in relief. Rosier took his moment of distraction to put him under the Cruciatus and he fell to his knees—

"Stop where you are!" Moody's voice erupted in the mix. All three Death Eaters Disapparated on the spot and Moody growled angrily, Alice and Frank standing behind him.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, helping James to his feet.

He nodded and fixed his glasses, looking up at the houses where people were starting to wake up.

"Moody—"

"We'll take care of it, Potter," Moody grumbled. "Now get out of here, quick. The Longbottoms will take your place. If the Ministry find out you've been here, they'll grow a new set of heads. Quick, both of you, get to Headquarters," he said, already casting Confundus Charms on the Muggles staring out their windows.

James and Lily quickly ran from the scene, Disapparating once they got to a secluded area. Gideon was already waiting for them when they arrived at his house.

"Which nephew knocked over the Christmas tree last year?" he asked them, wand raised.

"Bill and Charlie," James and Lily answered simultaneously.

"Come in, we got your message," he said. "Both of them at the same time, it gave us quite a fright, having two deer prance into our living room," he said, sparing a smile of them. "Are you both all right?"

"Yeah, Moody came just in time," Lily said. "Gideon, they knew we'd be there," she said, sounding frightened.

"What?" Gideon asked.

"After we saw the lights, before they'd seen us, they called out my name," James said. "Told us to come out."

Gideon swore and sent out his Patronus. "Thought this might happen soon," he said.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"Dumbledore thinks there's a spy," he said, grimacing. "Too many of the Order have been ambushed to be considered coincidence anymore. That's how Dumbledore thinks they almost found Moody back in March."

James and Lily sat in silence, unsure of what to say. James knew some people were getting anxious about a possible spy amongst them, but if Dumbledore thought it as well…

Dumbledore arrived and Gideon checked him as was the norm. Dumbledore stood gravely in front of them.

"Gideon's told you my suspicions, I suppose?" Dumbledore said. They both nodded.

"But Sir, surely there can't be—"

"I have strongly begun to suspect it, James," Dumbledore said. "It's no surprise, really. Voldemort wants information on our organization, and he's not afraid to use whatever means to get it. Surely, the person doing this is being forced by means of torture and threat of death. These are dark times. There's no telling what lengths some would go to in order to preserve their own lives," he said. "I do believe that there is a spy in our midst."

"Who do you think it is?" Lily asked. "You have suspicions, don't you?"

"Yes, but they are only suspicions," Dumbledore said. "I will not share them with you in the chance that I am wrong, however, I will urge you two to be cautious. It seems that you two have made it onto Voldemort's list of enemies worthy of being killed."

"But if they wanted us dead, or anyone else for that matter, why not just attack all of us at the next meeting here, since the spy would know when and where?"

Dumbledore smiled softly. "I hate to sound arrogant, but I'm assume that would be because I am here during the meetings," he said. "Tom never liked me as a teacher, I'm afraid."

"But still. All the houses of those the spy visited are in danger, aren't they?" Lily asked.

"Precisely right. Which is why, Gideon, I've come to tell you that I think it's time you and your brother used the Fidelius on your house. Since it is Headquarters, both of you are in danger and we cannot risk it, I'm afraid."

Gideon sighed and nodded. "Fabian is going to hate this, but I think you're right."

"Sorry, what's a Fidelius?" James asked.

Lily explained the details of the charm to him as Dumbledore nodded sagely. "It's the strongest form of protection out there," she said gravely.

"I don't think that will be necessary for you yet," Dumbledore said to them. "However, you should still exercise caution in telling anyone where you live and the location of your shifts. That should be need to know information only."

Dumbledore informed them of what they should do next—the Longbottoms would take over the rest of their shift under Auror orders dispatched by Moody, and James and Lily would resume the next morning. They were not to tell anyone of the switch. They agreed and went back home.

When James wished he could get more sleep, these were not the conditions we was hoping for.

.

_November 1979_

"Morning," Lily said, opening her eyes to James' hazel ones, staring back at her with a smile on his face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss, pulling him down on top of her. He didn't complain, responding enthusiastically.

"Mm, it's been much too long since we did that," Lily said, against his lips. The sun was streaming in through the windows and she rested her head on James' chest, listening to his heart beat steadily. She ran her fingers down his stomach and back up to his pecs. James grabbed her fingers and intertwined them with his.

"It's been a week," he said, laughing.

"Like I said, much too long," she said, yawning and closing her eyes against his chest. "I think we beat our previous record," she said with a grin.

He laughed and shook his head. "You nearly killed me, Evans," he said, grinning.

"Oh, stop complaining," she said, leaning up so she could look at him better. His hair was wild as usual, his glasses perched lazily on his nose. His thumb was running across her hand and she smiled at him. "Do we have to go in to work today? I mean, he's technically not even paying us," she said. "We could just stay in and try to beat our new record."

James frowned at her and she giggled. "Merlin, you really do want to kill me, don't you?"

"I believe in your abilities, James Potter," she said, grinning widely and kissing his chest.

He kissed her and she almost thought he was going to agree, but he pulled away, groaning. "We can't," he said, shaking his head with his eyes closed. "We can't," he repeated, probably more for himself than for her benefit.

She sighed. "Much too noble," she said, getting out of bed and wrapping a robe around herself before James could open his eyes.

"Hey," he said. "We still have half an hour, come back here—" he said, staring after her.

"Not anymore. I have to shower if we're going to work," she said, laughing at his expression. "It was your decision, Potter. You have to pay the consequences," she said. James pouted.

Their shift was relatively uneventful and they passed the reigns off to Sirius and Dorcas Meadowes.

"See, we could have stayed home," she said as they left.

James shook his head at her. "Deviant. And what would we have told Dumbledore, huh? 'Sorry, Professor, but I can't come in to work today because Lily wants to shag my brains out.' I hardly think he would accept that."

She frowned at him. "Well, we wouldn't put it that way…we wouldn't want to give Dumbledore a heart attack."

James snorted. "You will be the death of me," he said, kissing her on the nose. "Merlin, I'm so tired. Let's take a nap, please? Just sleeping. Only sleeping for a couple hours."

She nodded, giving him a smile. "You make it sound like what we did last night was torture. Like I was holding you hostage or something."

"It wasn't," he said, remembering fondly. "It was bliss, and I wish we could do that every night, but unfortunately, I also need sleep. And food and bathroom breaks, unfortunately."

She sighed dramatically. "Okay, I guess we can sleep for a little bit," she said right before they Disapparated back home. "Goodnight, Potter," she said when they got upstairs.

"What, aren't you sleeping too?"

She shook her head, giving him a mischievous smile. "I think," she said, taking off her shirt, "I'm going to take a nice, hot bath. But you're tired, so I'll let you sleep," she said, stepping out of her pants and shutting the bathroom door behind her.

She heard James swear before he opened the door, standing there, glaring at her. "Bloody hell, Evans. That was bloody unfair."

She laughed as he took off his shirt and picked her up, kissing her fiercely.

Merlin, she loved him.

.

_December 1979_

"You okay, Lil?" James asked, yawning. They were meeting Alice and Frank for a pre-Christmas lunch and they'd just gotten off an eight-hour shift.

She nodded and tried to smile, but there was too much on her mind for it to look genuine.

They met with Alice and Frank in the Muggle restaurant. James held her hand as they entered and greeted their old friends.

"Alice, you look amazing," Lily said, noticing how her friend glowed with happiness. Frank was also looking unusually happy and she guessed it was because of the holidays. Lily couldn't say the season was affecting her as much as them, however.

"So do you, Lily!" Alice said, giving her another hug. "Oh, I wish Mary were here," she said sadly, missing her best friend.

"Me, too. Have you written to her lately?"

"Yes, I just sent a letter in the Muggle post recently. I only hope it get to her through. It takes so long to deliver it, I'm scared the news will reach her after it's too late," she said.

"What news?" Lily asked.

Alice beamed and she looked a Frank. "I'm pregnant!" she said, flushing beautifully and gripping Lily's hand forcefully.

"Alice!" Lily said, giving her friend a hug. James shook Frank's hand, extending his congratulations. "That's wonderful!" Lily said, trying to feel happy for her friend, but preoccupied with her own news. "How far along are you?" she asked.

"Nearing on two months," she said, beaming. Her round face was pink with joy. "The Healers said it would be a July baby."

"Really happy for you two," James said. She could hear the small amount of envy in his voice, and she felt the guilt possess her. She didn't know if she could do this.

"Thanks, James," Alice said. "But what about you two? I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages."

The two couples caught up over lunch and had a good time exchanging old stories. James checked his watch near the end.

"Sorry to leave, but I told the lads I'd join them at Sirius' when I was done here."

"Oh, no problem, we need to get going as well," Frank said. "We need to break the news to my mother," he said, rolling her eyes.

James laughed and he looked to Lily. "Ready to go?"

She nodded. "I'm just going to use the loo first," she said.

Once she got into the stall, she began hyperventilating, unable to get the air to her lungs, and she couldn't think—how could she do this, it was too much, and James, he wanted this so badly—

"Lily?" Alice's voice said, knocking on her stall. "Are you all right?"

"No," she admitted, her throat tight. Merlin, was she crying? She wiped her face and swore internally. So much crying, all she did was cry—

"Lily, come out," Alice said, sounding concerned. "Tell me what's happened. Is it James? Are you two fighting?"

"No, no," she said, grabbing the tissue and putting it over her eyes. "James is perfect, it's not him."

"What is it then? Please come out."

"Alice, I'm pregnant," she said, quietly, finally admitting it to someone other than herself.

Alice was silent for a moment and Lily wondered if she had gone.

"Lily, please come out," Alice said.

Lily opened the stall and Alice was smiling gently at her. She wrapped her arms around Lily and Lily couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Why are you crying?" Alice asked. "This is great news! Our children can be friends, it'll be great—"

"I'm scared," she said quietly. "I don't think I'm ready to do this. You and Frank, you're much more prepared than James and I. And if something happens, Frank's mum, she'll be able to take care of your child, but James and I have no one—no one to help us, it'll be a disaster, the two of us raising a child—"

"Lily, breathe, please, relax," Alice said, grabbing more tissues for Lily and putting them in her hand. "You won't be alone, for Merlin's sake. What are we, a bunch of Flobberworms? We'll help you if you need anything. But you won't, because you're going to be a great mother. And James will be wonderful. You two can do this."

Lily nodded, knowing this in her brain, but her heart wouldn't stop causing her problems. She couldn't help but feel like something was going to go badly.

"I'm being ridiculous, I know," she said, hiccupping and splashing her face with water.

"Does James know?"

Lily shook her head. "I was too scared to tell him. I know what he would say—he'd agree with you—but I wasn't ready to hear that yet. I just need to process what this means for us. He would just sweep it under the rug and tell me everything is going to be fine, but I couldn't deal with that just yet."

Alice nodded. "He'll understand. How long have you known?"

"A week," she said. "I'm a month and a half along," she said, putting a hand to her belly.

Alice smiled. "They'll be friends at Hogwarts then!" she said. "I know you're scared, but you should really tell James. I felt the same way until I told Frank. You two will be okay."

Lily nodded again and gave her friend a hug. "Thank you, Alice. I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

Alice patted her back and sighed. "I miss Mary. She'd know what to say to get you to laugh."

Lily smiled. "I miss her too."

"Let's go outside, hm?"

"Oh, no, does it look like I've been crying?"

"Not at all," Alice said. "Besides, if they ask, I'll just say that we got a bit emotional in the bathroom and I'll blame it on little Neville."

"Neville?" Lily asked.

Alice put her hand on her stomach. "It's a boy, I can tell."

Lily laughed. "Mine is called Harry. Harry James Potter."

"Brilliant," Alice said, beaming at her. "That's brilliant."

They left the bathroom hand in hand, smiling at their husbands who were waiting impatiently at the table.

"Merlin," James said. "Did you two stop for coffees in the middle of the loo?"

"Something like that—"

There was an explosion right outside the restaurant and they all turned their heads. Muggles were screaming and Lily stared with dread as a troop of Death Eaters made their way down the street, destroying buildings and throwing Muggles in the air—

Frank and James were already sending their Patronuses out, Alice and Lily joining them. Alice made sure all the restaurant patrons were safe before casting protective charms around the building.

James ran forward and Lily followed, quickly losing sight of Alice and Frank. She disarmed the first Death Eater she came across and knocked him unconscious with a Stunner. She ejected ropes from her wand, which wrapped themselves around him on the ground. She moved a couple Muggles out the way, who were staring in disbelief and fear of everything that was going on around them.

She saw the Prewetts arrive in the corner of her eyes and she nodded at them before moving on. Where was James?

Lily ducked just as a green jet of light whizzed past her and she turned to see a Death Eater with his wand pointed at her. She whipped her wand in his direction, cursing him with all she knew, but he deflected. She took a step towards him, sending curse after curse after him, which he blocked, one after the other.

She heard Moody's growl and was momentarily distracted when the Death Eater sent another green jet in her direction—

"Move!" a voice shouted, pushing her out of the way. James lay on top of her, crushing her body, still and unmoving. No, no—

"James!" she shouted at him. He stirred, only unconscious, and she exhaled in relief, closing her eyes and pushing him off of her and casting a temporary protective charm around them. Her abdomen cramped painfully, but she ignored it. "James, wake up," she said, hitting his cheek.

He opened his eyes and he blinked at her. "Merlin, Evans," he grumbled. "Pay attention, you almost got yourself killed," he complained.

She laughed breathlessly. "Thank you. Now get up. There are still Death Eaters everywhere."

Another, stronger cramp hit her and she winced. "Lil?"

"I'm fine. You just knocked the breath out of me," she said. "Go!"

He nodded, helping her to her feet before engaging the next Death Eater.

She put a protection charm around herself while she caught her breath, her hand on her stomach. _I'm sorry I was scared_, she thought to him. _Please don't die, please, not yet, please, you're okay, we're going to be okay, Harry. Please, just hold on—_

The cramping disappeared and she took a couple more steadying breaths before realizing both of them were going to be okay. Harry was a fighter. He wasn't going to let a little knockdown hurt him.

"Lily? Are you okay?" Remus asked her, appearing out of nowhere.

"Yes, fine!" she said. "Good to see you!" she shouted as he ran off, waving at her.

Lily caught up to the group, Aurors and Death Eaters everywhere. She freed a couple more Muggles and Stunned a couple more Death Eaters, seeing Sirius duel fiercely with another one. His face was contorted in rage and he was shouting.

"Where is Regulus Black?" he yelled between firing curses. The Death Eater didn't respond, but Lily couldn't think about that now when James was dealing with three Death Eaters by himself.

She ran to his side, sending curses their way. He shot her a rushed smiled before blocking another curse aimed in their direction.

She heard a blood-curdling scream somewhere too her right and she finally landed her curse on the Death Eaters before turning to the scream.

Her eyes landed on a horrifying sight. Voldemort was pointing his wand at Alice, who was kneeling on the floor, grabbing her head and screaming, Frank being restrained by Death Eaters and forced to watch—

"No!" she yelled, running towards them and shooting as many curses as she could at Voldemort's head. James ran by her side, quickly dealing with the Death Eaters holding Frank, who quickly got his wand out and ran to Alice's side, breathing heavily, but no longer screaming.

"Ah, the Potters," Voldemort said silkily, smiling widely at them. "I was wondering if you would show your faces, or hide like cowards."

Lily ignored him and continued to shoot curses at him. Not Neville. Neville and Harry were going to be best friends, he couldn't touch either of them.

James stood beside her and shot curses at him—

"_Crucio_!" a woman's voice said, aiming it at James. He screamed and collapsed, and Lily turned to the woman, Bellatrix Lestrange, who wasn't even wearing a mask. All Lily could see was red.

"_Crucio_!" Lily shouted, pointing her wand at the crazed woman.

Bellatrix laughed when the curse deflected. "Not as easy as you think, huh, _Mudblood_? You need to actually mean—"

Lily shot another curse at her before she could finish her sentence and sent Bellatrix flying backward into another Death Eater.

Alice had finally recovered and she stood with Frank, holding her stomach and pointing her wand at Voldemort, who was engaging Moody. Lily helped James to his feet and the four of them began sending everything they had at Voldemort, who cackled in delight. More Death Eaters swarmed around them and Moody abandoned his fight with Voldemort in order to subdue the new arrivals.

"Die!" Voldemort screamed at the four of them, sending curses in every direction. He looked manic and genuinely pleased to be causing this much destruction. There was a flash of light and Dumbledore arrived, a beacon of hope for the Order members and Aurors fighting.

"Tom, enough," Dumbledore said, interrupting their four-on-one duel.

Voldemort laughed. "You old fool," he said. "I do not take orders from you anymore, _Professor_," he mocked.

"You've done enough damage. Now is the time for remorse," he said.

Voldemort cackled. "You will never understand, Dumbledore. I've gone beyond anything you could ever hope to accomplish. I am above you!"

Dumbledore struck out his wand and send a beam of white light at Voldemort, who deflected it, but not without suffering the blow. He snarled at Dumbledore before Disapparating on the spot, many of his Death Eaters along with him.

As the rubble settled on the street and people helped others to their feet, James picked Lily up in a hug, his arms wrapped around her waist and she held onto his neck as tight as she could, little Harry resting between them. It was going to be okay, it really was.

Harry was safe and she knew that even if she and James died, he would still be the most beloved little boy ever to live on this planet.

* * *

**Author's Note: I feel like I've already said this, but Sirius Black has got to be my favorite character in all of the Harry Potter series, and I hope he's as interesting to you guys as he is to me. I think Mary's description of him back in the earlier chapters describes him perfectly in my eyes…a wonderfully baked cookie with a crispy outside and soft, chewy inside. Yum. **

**Only two more chapters, folks! Review! **

**I know it's getting sad and dark, but I think the end of this story is a happy one. So don't despair! And review!**


	27. Chapter 27: Thrice Defied

**27: Thrice Defied **

The cleanup after the Voldemort attack was monstrous. There were Muggles everywhere whose memories had to be swept, and an entire street to clean. James helped round up some of the Death Eaters until he came across Sirius, who was pointing his wand at a Death Eater's neck, his face inches from the Death Eater's.

"Where is Regulus Black?" he asked him, his face manic. He had stopped shaving and his hair was long and dirty. "Tell me where he is!"

"Dead!" the Death Eater spit out, a mixture of fear and disgust on his face. "Ran away, the fool, so he was killed! He's never coming back!" the Death Eater cackled in madness and James quickly Stunned him unconscious.

Sirius let him go, breathing heavily, his eyes wide. James knew his friend hadn't been sleeping over his brother and wondered how this news, real or fake, would affect him. Regulus was dead.

"Padfoot," he said. "Are you all right?"

"No," he said. His eyes were like looking through a ghost. His face looked thin and James was concerned for his best friend. "This is all my fault," he said, burying his face in his hands. "He's dead and it's all my fault."

"There was nothing you could do," he said. "Regulus chose his path."

Sirius shook his head. "I should have taken him with me," he said in his hands, James almost didn't hear him. "I shouldn't have left him in that house with them. It's all my fault."

"Sirius, what are you talking about?"

"I have to go," he said abruptly, sniffing and putting his palms against his eyes. Was he crying? Merlin, James had never seen his friend cry like this. He didn't know what to do—

"Sirius—"

"I'm sorry, I need to go," he said, Disapparating on the spot.

"Where did he go?" Gideon asked, watching Sirius leave with a frown.

"Dunno," James said, feeling anxious. Nothing good could come of this.

"Right, well, we'll find him later, I suppose. Dumbledore wants a word."

James nodded and found his wife, already standing with Dumbledore calmly in the street of rubble.

"The four of you," he said, "have accomplished a great deal in your short time in the Order. It has made me very proud to have you stand with me. But I'm afraid, it has made you very obvious targets to Lord Voldemort. I would encourage you, the next time you encounter him, that you do not engage. I have every belief in your ability, but I fear that not even your combined strength will be enough to kill him."

"Sir," Frank said. "I'm sorry, but Alice—the baby—we need to go to St. Mungo's—"

"Yes!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "I'm sorry, yes, right away."

They Disapparated and Dumbledore looked at James and Lily. "We will resume this in the morning. You two should also go to St. Mungo's to ensure nothing is amiss. Everything here will be taken of."

James nodded and took Lily's hand. "St. Mungo's?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "Home, first."

He nodded and they Disapparated together.

"Merlin," he said, collapsing on the couch. "I don't know how many times we can do that before we're killed," he said, closing his eyes. Lily sat next to him.

"James," she said.

"I mean, three times, and we came out relatively unscathed, all three times. Merlin, I hope Alice and the baby are all right. What does a Cruciatus do to an unborn child? It's barely two months old—hopefully it doesn't affect him."

"James," she said, holding his hand.

"Fuck, Lil, you were right. I'm glad we're waiting. I mean, I'm happy for Alice and Frank, and I have to admit, I was a bit jealous at first, but thank Merlin—"

"James, I'm pregnant," she said, her face fearful and pale.

"What?" he said, frowning. "Lil—"

"A month and a half. I found out last week. I think it happened that night we broke our record—"

"What?" he said again, sitting up, finally realizing what exactly she was telling him. "What, are you serious right now?"

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. "I didn't tell you at first because I was scared and I didn't know what to do, but then Alice convinced me that it would be all right and that we could do this—"

"Lily!" he said, grabbing her and pulling her onto him. She sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying onto his shoulder. "Lily, Merlin, we're going to have a baby," he said, the shock and happiness making his head feel dizzy. "Fuck."

She giggled against him and kissed his cheek. "No swearing in front of the baby."

"Sorry," he said. "But for fuck's sake, we're going to be parents," he said. "Hey, Gracey," he said, putting a hand on her stomach. "It's your Dad talking. Ignore the swear word, love, I'm sort of freaking out right now."

Lily laughed and took his hand away from her stomach. "That's Harry you're talking to. Don't confuse him."

"Oh, fuck!" he said. She frowned at him. "Sorry, but what are we doing here? We should be at St. Mungo's and you should be getting checked out. And Merlin! I knocked you onto the ground! Are you sure she's all right—"

"He's fine," Lily said. "We can go in the morning—"

"The hell we are!" he said, forcing her to stand up. "We're going right now, Evans. We're not taking any chances. Merlin, you should have told me sooner! Fuck!"

They Apparated to St. Mungo's and he glared angrily at her as they went through all the tests. She tried smiling at him, but he just glared in return. He tried to remember the happiness he felt for that one moment when she told him, but it was strangely absent. She hadn't told him and put their child in danger—

"Perfectly healthy," Healer Madison said with a smile. "You're six weeks along and everything seems in order. I'll get Healer Johns to come in here to give you nutritional guidance, as well as rules to follow. Oh," she said, smiling. "And congratulations."

"Are you angry?" she asked him after they thanked Healer Madison and she left the room.

"You should have told me as soon as it happened," he told her. Yes, he was angry.

She nodded. "I know. But you know I wanted to wait until we had kids—"

"What, so you were going to get rid of her without even telling me?"

"No!" she shouted, her face turning red in anger. "I would never do that!"

"Then why wait?"

"I don't know!" she said, sighing. "I was being stupid, I know that. I just didn't want things to change. I thought if I didn't tell you, it would seem like it was normal, just for a bit longer. It was irresponsible, and I'm sorry. Please, don't be mad."

He felt some of his anger abate, but some of it was still there, especially when he thought about how she had recklessly run into the crowd of Death Eaters, and how he'd knocked her over—

"You're still mad."

He exhaled and crossed his arms over his chest, clenching his fists. "You should have told me sooner," he repeated. "Merlin, I _rammed_ you into the ground—"

"And if you hadn't, I would be dead. _Both_ of us would be dead," she said sternly, placing a hand on her stomach. "Are you telling me that if you'd known I was pregnant then, you wouldn't have saved me from that curse?"

He clenched his jaw. "If I had known, you wouldn't have been fighting in the first place."

Lily froze when she heard that, her eyes narrowing at him. "You'd have stopped me from helping?"

"Fuck, yes."

"I don't need a—"

"Fucking knight, yes, I know!" he snapped. "But it's not just _you_ anymore, is it?" he said. "Our baby is living inside of you, so it's not just you I'm protecting anymore! You may not need one, but I'm going to do everything I can to protect our baby, even if you think you can handle it yourself! I'm not taking that chance!"

She frowned, but she eventually nodded with a resigned expression, making James feel moderately guilty for yelling at her. But it was true. She couldn't act that reckless with their baby—

"This was one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you," she said quietly. "I knew you'd go crazy."

"Crazy?" he said, pulling at his hair. "You haven't seen crazy yet, Evans," he said angrily. "For fu—"

"Will you stop swearing?" she said with a glare. "For Merlin's sake. He might not have real ears yet, but it's starting to bother me."

"Sorry," he grumbled. "Bloody hell, I'm sorry," he sighed, ignoring her glare. "Merlin, this day has just been terrible. I don't even know what we're supposed to do anymore. I think I have to learn how to build a house—"

"What?" Lily said, blinking.

"We're moving to Antarctica, aren't we?" he said. "We're sure as hell not staying here."

"Potter, I'm not moving to Antarctica," she said firmly.

"I thought we said—"

"No. We said we'd move—still not convinced of Antarctica—if we both got scared that this was too much. I'm still not feeling that. Yes, I'm scared, but not because of the war, I'm scared we're going to be shit parents—" she looked down at her stomach, putting her hands on it as if shielding it from her words. "Sorry, Harry."

James came over to her bed. "We're not going to be shit parents."

"It would maybe help if we weren't swearing and fighting all the time."

"We don't fight all the time—"

"We fought over what kind of toilet paper to buy yesterday!" she said. "We fight about everything! We're fighting now!"

"Yes, but we always make up, and we always will," he said, holding her hand. "Gracey knows her parents love each other," he said.

"See, we're even fighting about the sex of our baby. Harry won't appreciate that."

"Yes, but we'll see who's right in eight months, won't we, Gracey?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. But I'm not going to stay home like an invalid while you risk your life. I understand our baby's life is immediately linked to my safety, but I'm not going to become a hermit just to make you happy," she said calmly.

James frowned, but he didn't raise his voice. "You wouldn't be a hermit. But I still don't think you should continue doing your work for the Order. Those shifts are murderously long and if Death Eaters come—"

"I will help as much as I can, and then Disapparate if things get too messy."

He shook his head. "You won't, I'm sure of it."

"It's not just me anymore," she said. "If it was only my life, you'd probably be right, but I have to think of Harry now, and I would. As soon as Death Eaters arrived, I'd leave."

James didn't believe her, but he couldn't argue now because Healer Johns had arrived to give Lily more information. She told her of which foods to eat, what to avoid, making sure to get all the proper nutrients before she fulfilled her cravings, and when she had to come in to get checkups.

"What about physical activity?" James asked. "How much is too much?"

"Normal, everyday physical activity is fine," the Healer said. "You should still keep your normal routine until much later in your third trimester." Lily shot him a triumphant look. "But if your job is very demanding and stressful, I would recommend taking it easy and getting plenty of sleep." James shot the look back at her and she frowned.

The Healer left them with some more rules and told Lily she could leave whenever they were ready.

"Compromise," James said. "You work half as many shifts you're working now, and all of them are with me so that I can make sure you leave before the Death Eaters get close."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to work all my shifts with you. I see you all the time, and you're going to burst a blood vessel every time I trip on a rock."

"Bloody hell!" he said. "You're trying to give me a heart attack, aren't you?"

"We can talk about this later," she said, getting out of bed. James rushed to her side and she swatted him away, glaring at him. "Seriously, James, if you don't stop treating me like a glass trophy, I'm going to hex you into the ground, and raise the baby with Sirius," she said.

He backed off and let her get dressed on her own. He noticed the black bruise on her lower back where she had landed after he pushed her onto the ground and he felt his chest constrict painfully again. They'd almost lost their baby because of him. He'd never let that happen again.

.

Lily and James went over to Sirius' apartment later to ask him an important question. After a very quick discussion about their deaths and what would happen afterward, they agreed that Sirius would become Harry/Grace's guardian in the event that both of them died.

"Sirius?" James asked, knocking on the door. He had his arm around Lily's waist and she tried to convince herself he wasn't being needlessly paranoid about her safety. They frequently walked around like this. "Sirius, we're coming in," he said, opening the door.

They found Sirius lying on the couch, passed out drunk. There were empty Firewhiskey bottles everywhere and it was a mess. Lily scrunched her nose as James swore.

They cleaned up some of the rubbish around his place and Lily cast a couple sobering charms on the sleeping Sirius. He grimaced in his sleep and rolled over.

"The future godfather of our child," Lily said, staring at him sadly.

"He just found out Regulus was killed," James told her.

"What?" she breathed. "Regulus is dead?"

James nodded. "One of the Death Eaters said he tried to run and so he was killed."

"But could he have been lying?" Lily asked.

James shrugged. "Could have been, but I don't think he was."

Sirius grumbled in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes.

"Argh!" he said, jumping up and pointing his wand at them. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Relax, Padfoot, it's us."

"What did I say to you after I ran away from home?" he asked.

"Have space for a mutt?" James replied.

Sirius turned to Lily. "Why did I yell at you the first time you were in my motorcycle?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Because I took a damn picture of you and startled you like a frightened rabbit," she said.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing here?" he asked them, throwing his wand on the couch and rubbing his face. "And why the hell am I so bloody sober?" he grumbled, shooting Lily a dirty look.

"Came to ask you something," Lily said, sending smell-enhancing charms his way. He waved the air in front of him annoyingly.

"What?" he barked out.

"Be our kid's godfather," James said with a grin.

Sirius stared blankly at them, not comprehending. Then slowly, he blinked, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping. "You're pregnant?" he said, pointing at Lily, his voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded, smiling at him.

"Fuck!" Sirius swore loudly, jumping up from the couch. He enveloped both of them in a hug, jumping up and down. "Bloody hell, congratulations!" he said, releasing them.

"Ugh, you stink," she said, pushing him away. "When was the last time you showered?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I'm going to be an Uncle!"

"Not how it works, mate," James said laughing. "We're not actually brothers. But if you agree, you'll be his godfather, which means that if Lily and I die, you'll be responsible for his well-being," James said. "Do you think you can handle that?"

Sirius gulped, looking at both of them. "I don't know, mate, I mean, look at me. I haven't bathed in days, I'm drunk, I don't know the last time I ate a proper meal—"

"And your hair is a mess," Lily added. "But we know you can clean yourself up, Black. And we're trusting our child's life in your hands, so you better," she said sternly.

Sirius nodded. "Fuck, yes, this is really happening. Okay. Yes. I accept. I'll be your kid's bloody godfather."

"Oi, with the swearing," James said, covering Lily's stomach. She laughed. "Gracey can hear you."

"You're having a girl?" he asked, surprised. "Fuck, I don't know if I can do girls—"

"It's too soon to tell," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "James thinks it's a girl. But I'm sure it's a boy."

Sirius sat down, laughing breathily and running his hands through his greasy hair. "Merlin, I need to shower," he said, smelling himself. "James Jr. can't see me like this."

"Harry James Potter," Lily said with a smile.

"Solid name," he said, nodding. "Better than James Jr."

"Go shower, mate. Clean yourself up. We reserve the right to withdraw the offer if you're still drunk by the time Grace is born," James said.

"Okay, yeah. I'm going. Fucking hell, congratulations," he said. "Oh, sorry. I'll have to work on the swearing thing."

Lily gave Sirius a hug. "If you need anything," she said. "We're always here for you."

Sirius smiled and nodded. "Get out of here," he said, pushing them out. "Go and celebrate. I mean, not with alcohol, but you know—" he said, smiling. "Fuck. A baby. Merlin," he said, closing the door.

"Sirius Black, godfather of our child," James said, laughing.

"He's about the coolest uncle a kid could wish for, I mean, as long as he's not drunk," Lily said. "Ugh, much better than Vernon Dursley, can you even imagine?"

"Don't mention that pig in front of Grace," James said. "I don't want her little ears to shrivel up."

Lily laughed as they held hands. "We're going to be okay, right?"

He nodded. "We're going to be great."

Lily smiled, convincing herself that it was all going to be all right. Everything was going to be great.

She pushed away that little bit of doubt growing in the back of her mind. Nothing would happen. It was all okay.

Probably.

.

Millicent Bagnold came into power at the Ministry at the beginning of 1980. Aurors were granted permission to perform Unforgivables on Death Eaters, leading to the deaths of Rosier and Wilkes in a battle against Moody. James was working more shifts lately as the Death Eater attacks grew in numbers, which also meant that Lily was spending a lot more time at home, waiting for him.

She waited for Sirius to come over, who had since cleaned up his act and had stopped drinking. He was supposed to be taking her to the Prewetts' later on since James didn't want her doing anything on her own, much to her annoyance.

"Padfoot," she greeted as she opened the door for him and checked to make sure he was the real Sirius Black.

"Still weird when you call me that, Evans," he said, his hair short and his face clean-shaven. "Bloody hell, you look fatter," he said, grinning.

"Piss off," she said, giving him the finger. Harry couldn't see that. Sirius just chuckled.

"Not your face or anything—you still look like a skinny ginger troll—but your belly. Shit. I swear you weren't this big last week," he said, nodding at her growing belly.

"Skinny ginger troll?" she said, laughing. "You're an arse."

He shrugged. "Ginger troll is the most apt description. But a healthy, glowing, ginger troll," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Are we going, or are you going to continue to insult me?"

"Let's go. Do you mind if we take the bike?" he asked.

"I prefer it actually. Apparating makes me and Harry feel sick," she said. She froze, hand on her stomach. "Merlin, I think he just moved."

"Seriously?" he asked. "Do I need to call someone? Are you okay? What do I do, Evans? Tell me!"

"First, relax," she said, laughing. "I'm not dying, and neither is Harry. It's completely normal. Wow, but that was a strange feeling," she said, smiling. "I'll let you feel the next time it happens," she said.

Sirius exhaled. "Don't scare me like that," he said. "If something happens to you or the baby, James will have my head."

"Both of you are too paranoid. Nothing is going to happen."

They got into his motorbike and took off towards the Prewetts. Lily enjoyed the air flowing through her hair—

"Sirius, get down!" she yelled, just as a curse went flying past his head. Sirius lowered them, swearing and pulling out his wand. Lily did the same, looking around them for signs of attackers. She saw them, on brooms, flying above them.

Lily shot curses at the Death Eaters, finding it impossible to aim at them properly when they were above her and flying around.

"Take us up!" she yelled at him. He shot her a look, looking uncertainly at her stomach, but he did as she said. The Death Eaters followed after them, shooting more curses at their heads, but Lily protected both of them as Sirius drove. One of Lily's curses hit its mark and the Death Eater tumbled off his broom to the ground below. The remaining one fell back and Lily breathed in relief. She tried not to dwell on the fact that if his friend didn't help him, the fallen Death Eater may have died at her hand.

"Get us out of here," she said, casting them in a Disillusionment Charm and sending a Patronus to the Prewetts to tell them what had happened.

"Fuck," he swore. "They recognized my bike," he said. "The spy must have told them about it."

"How do you know they weren't after me?" she asked.

"No one but you, me and James knew you'd be with me," he said, glancing sideways at her. "And if they wanted you, they would have sent more than just two. It would have been easy to take me out while I was driving alone," he said, looking murderous. "James is going to bloody kill me."

"We're okay. Nothing happened. We're almost there," she said, her heart racing.

The spy tried to take out Sirius.

As soon as they got to the Prewetts' living room, Sirius stuck his wand in James' face and glared at him, putting a hand out in front of Lily to prevent her from going to James. "Who hit on me when we went motorcycle shopping?" he spit out.

"Hey, hey—" Fabian said, trying to interrupt.

"Fucking Rita Skeeter, now move out of my way before I fucking hex you," he said, glaring at Sirius.

"You two are being ridiculous," she said, alarmed at the amount of malice in both of their voices. She moved Sirius' arm out of the way and gave James a hug. "Neither one of you is the spy, so lay off already."

"Sorry," Sirius grumbled. "Had to check."

"I would have hexed you if you hadn't," James grumbled back. Lily rolled her eyes as James' arm left her waist in order to shake hands with Sirius, all accusations forgotten.

James looked at her, his forehead crinkled and his eyes filled with fear. "Are you okay? Is Harry okay?"

Lily nodded. "Fine, we're fine, but—" she said, looking at the expression on his face and smiling despite the severity of the situation, "—you called him Harry."

"Oh, fuck, I don't care if it's a girl or a boy, I'm just glad you're okay," he said, wrapping her in his arms again. "Thank you, Sirius," he said.

"Mate, she saved me," Sirius said, turning to the Prewetts. "I think they recognized my bike and came after me," he said.

Fabian frowned. "That is not good. You should stop riding that thing around," he said. "It's bloody obnoxious."

"Piss off," Sirius said. "We need to find out who is passing information, not worrying about whether or not my bike is too flashy."

Fabian and Sirius continued discussing the spy, but Lily couldn't look away from James, who was staring at her with the fear still present in his eyes.

"We're okay," she repeated, smiling and putting her hands on his face and trying to get rid of the tension in his forehead. "Really. We're fine."

"I know," he said, nodding. "I know, I can feel you here, I'm just—" he exhaled. "When your Patronus arrived, I nearly lost it," he admitted. "You don't know how—oh, bloody hell. I don't—I can't lose you."

"James," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughing lightly. She kissed his collarbone and he squeezed her gently around the waist. "You're not going to lose me, come on, stop it."

"Don't laugh, Lily," he said seriously. "I'm not joking around. I don't think you should keep doing things for the Order," he said, looking at her with narrowed eyes.

She didn't want to have this discussion again, but the fear in his eyes was disarming and she wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't seen this amount of fear in his face since he talked about the Giants, but even then, it had been more subdued than this.

"James, I—"

"I know you're going to argue this, but think about it. The Death Eaters don't know you're pregnant, right? But look at you now, you're starting to show and I think even they'd be able to make that leap, no? They could hurt you and—" he stopped talking, swallowing convulsively. "Please, think about it."

"Okay," she said immediately, trying to do anything to get that look off his face. "Okay, I'll think about it. Please, just try and think about something else—"

The door opened, and Remus and Peter walked in with concerned expressions on their faces.

"Where do you go to transform?" Sirius roared, almost impaling Remus in the eye with his wand. Remus froze with his palms up in defense, staring up at the wand pointed in between his eyes.

"Sirius!" James said.

"Answer the question, Lupin!" Sirius roared.

"The Shrieking Shack," Remus answered relatively calmly.

Sirius turned to Peter, a considerably calmer tone of voice. "What day did you become Wormtail?" he asked.

"December 23, 1975," he answered, looking fearful.

"Sirius," James said. "You're being ridiculous."

Remus glared at Sirius, but turned to Lily instead of saying anything. "Are you all right? How's the baby?"

"Fine," she answered, giving Peter and Remus both hugs. Both of them had lost a lot of weight and looked haggard. Remus' hair had lost some of its color, looking less brown every time she saw him. Peter's hair was thinning out at the top. The war was taking its toll.

They waited for the rest of the Order members to arrive and Dumbledore looked at them gravely. Alice and Frank walked in, Alice's belly showing even more than Lily's. She hugged her pregnant friend and tried to distract herself from James' haunted face that was stuck in her mind.

"Are you still working?" she asked Alice.

She nodded. "Yes, but less so. Moody wants me working for as long as possible, but Frank is going crazy. I think I may have to stop soon," Alice said.

Lily nodded, James' fear making her cold. It was bothering Frank too.

The meeting didn't last long, and Lily honestly couldn't remember a word Dumbledore said by the end of it. Before he left, she managed to catch hold of him, letting go of James' hand.

"Professor," she said. "May I ask a favor?"

"Certainly, Lily," he said, smiling kindly at her.

"Well, er, this is a bit awkward, but because of Harry here," she said, putting a hand on her stomach, "James and I think that maybe I should not be working for the Order on such dangerous missions," she said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course," he said, smiling. "I understand. I was going to suggest the same."

"You were?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes, of course. Stress is not good for a growing child, or so I'm told. I think both you and Ms. Longbottom should be far from the fighting, not because you cannot handle it, but I wouldn't want to expose two unborn children to that kind of stress," he said.

"Oh, okay. Thank you, Sir," she said.

He smiled kindly. "Harry is a wonderful name," he commented before leaving.

She and James went home and he still didn't say anything as they went upstairs and lay in bed together.

"I told Dumbledore I wasn't going to do Order business anymore," she told him.

His eyes finally showed something besides fear. "You did?"

She nodded. "I get that you're scared, and I promised not to do anything that would endanger Harry. So I'll stay home and wait for you to come back."

He sighed in relief and finally smiled. She smiled back and put a hand on his face. "You're such a worrywart," she said.

"I don't care what you say," he replied. "Harry is our first priority."

She grinned at him, her insides filling with happiness. "I like it when you call him Harry."

He laughed and she felt immediately better. "Whatever makes you happy. He can be called Harry, or Grace, or Hagrid, or Albus Voldemort, for all I care."

She took his hand and put it on her stomach. "Say it again."

"What?"

"His name."

"Harry."

Right on cue, Harry kicked and James withdrew his hand in shock. "What the hell was that?" he asked.

She laughed and put his hand back on her stomach. "He moved, idiot."

"Merlin," he said, grinning. "You like your name, Harry?" He kicked again and Lily laughed. "Isn't it a bit early for him to be kicking?" James asked.

"He's restless, that's for sure," Lily commented. "And he was probably sick of being called Grace all the time," she said.

James smiled and wrapped her in his arms. "Thank you," he said.

"For what, Potter?"

"Agreeing to hermit yourself. I know you'll hate it, but I know you're doing it for me and him."

She smiled, her cheek pressed against his heart. "Just as long as you come home, I won't mind. Waiting is going to be difficult."

"I can stop, too. We can stay sequestered in this house forever, if you want."

She shook her head. "You'll drive yourself crazy not being out there, I know you. I'm not going to keep you here when you can at least be useful. There's no point in Harry having two stir-crazy parents. Just promise me you'll come home," she said.

"I promise," he said, kissing her forehead. "Merlin, I feel like eating fish and chips. Really, really greasy fish and chips."

Lily laughed into his chest. "I thought I was the one who was supposed to have cravings."

"Don't you want fish and chips?"

She laughed and nodded. "The more you say it, the more I want it."

"Okay, I'll go get some. Stay here. Don't move."

"I love you," she said, kissing him before he got out of bed.

"Love you more," he said, returning the kiss and then dropping one on her stomach. "Be back in a minute, Harry," he whispered against her shirt.

She smiled and watched him go, feeling anxious already.

Lily was beginning to consider the possibility that staying at home and waiting for James to return might actually be more stressful than being out there, fighting Death Eaters.

.

Snape could barely think straight. What he'd heard in the Hog's Head, it could change the entire war. Voldemort would live forever and their vision—their mission, would be complete. Wizards would rule over Muggles and they would never have to live in fear again. All the Dark Lord had to do was kill a small child. That was hardly a feat for the most powerful wizard to ever live.

"Thank you, Severus," the Dark Lord said quietly after Severus relayed the news. "You have done me a great service."

"My Lord, what does this mean?" Bellatrix asked, fearful.

"It means that after July, I will kill a small child and become immortal," he said, smiling.

"Who has defied you three times, my Lord?" Severus asked, morbidly curious about which unfortunate family would fall victim to such a terrible, but necessary fate.

The Dark Lord smiled. "Only two wretched pairs cross my mind. The Auror Longbottoms, and Dumbledore's pets, the Potters. One of the two couples will die, along with their child."

Severus' chest filled with dread but he kept his posture and his mind clear of any indication.

Lily. He'd potentially just delivered her straight into the Dark Lord's hands.

.

_July 30, 1980_

"Lily, those flowers look beautiful," Bathilda admired from the gate. Lily had taken up gardening now that James was out on missions and she was forced to remain home with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling.

"Thank you!" she said. "Come, and sit, I've put some tea up," Lily said. Bathilda took a seat at the table outside as Lily went to grab tea and snacks.

"How many more weeks?" Bathilda asked her when she returned.

"He's due on August 12, so we've still got two weeks to go," she said, patting her enormous belly. Alice had given birth to her son this morning—a strong, round little boy named Neville Longbottom, who supposedly had Alice's face. Lily and James were planning to visit in a couple of days.

"I'm sure he'll be beautiful," Bathilda commented, sipping her tea. "Merlin's beard, with parents like you and James, he damn well better be."

Lily laughed and shrugged. "As long as he's healthy and doesn't attract trouble like James does, I'll be happy even if he looks like a gnome with spattergroit."

Bathilda nodded sagely. "You're probably right, dear. My great-nephew was very handsome as well, and also a troublemaker. It's probably best if your boy is a bit homely. We could do without another troublemaker around these parts."

Lily agreed and they spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about nothing in particular.

James didn't tell her much about his shift, but he said it would probably go into the early morning.

She fell into a restless sleep, her dreams plagued with images of James' dead eyes—

"_Ah_!" she woke up, screaming, clutching her stomach. James was in bed beside her and he jumped up, his wand in his hand and barely awake.

"What's happening?" he asked, looking around the room.

"Harry!" she said, panicking. "I think he's coming!"

James froze. "But it's not even August yet!"

"My water just broke!" she yelled. Oh, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, the pain—

"Okay, okay, we're good, just hold on—"

He helped her out of bed and grabbed their packed overnight bag they had prepared since the beginning of July. "Ready?" he said.

She shook her head no, but James just kissed her temple and smiled before Apparating them to St. Mungo's. It nearly caused Lily to pass out in pain and nausea, but the Healers swarmed her and she managed to stay conscious.

Twelve hours later, James smiled down at Lily, holding their child in his arms.

"Lily Potter, meet your son, Harry James Potter, born July 31, 1980," he said, handing Lily their son.

Her eyes welled up in tears as she held her son, red and asleep, his thick black hair overshadowing his entire head.

She laughed, wiping her eyes. "Merlin, he looks exactly like you," she said, moving his hair out of his eyes, and feeling her heart swell as it moved exactly back into place, extraordinarily messy.

James grinned, his eyes glossy. "He has your eyes, green as emeralds," he said fondly.

She laughed and Harry opened his eyes as if on cue, looking up at her with his small eyes. She inhaled and held a finger out to him, which he gripped strongly.

"He's beautiful," she said, wondering if that meant he would be a troublemaker as well. "Merlin, he's perfect."

"And he's all ours," James said, kissing her temple. "I love you, Lily."

"I love you, too," she said, smiling up at him. "Told you he was a Harry all along."

James laughed. "I'll do the chores for the rest of our lives, Evans, I don't care. I'll do anything."

Lily looked down at her sleeping baby and felt like nothing could stop them now.

.

James, Lily and a sleeping Harry rode up in the Thestral-pulled carriage, which was a new experience for James, considering he'd never seen a Thestral before in all his time at Hogwarts. Lily explained to him it must have been when Andrea Potter died. She went through a similar thing at the beginning of seventh year when her father died.

Merlin, that seemed like an era ago. He wished their parents could see little Harry now.

James ignored the sense of foreboding that was eating at his heart and kept popping up at inappropriate times. James was holding Harry in his arms—he was so tiny—and Lily walked next to him. The halls were deserted since it was well into the summer holidays, and James wondered what their old Headmaster could possibly want from them.

They went up to Dumbledore's office and to their surprise, found Alice and Frank sitting there already.

"What are you doing here?" James asked them. "Where's Neville?"

"Back with Frank's mother," Alice said, giving them all hugs. "We're not sure, Dumbledore just asked us here. He said he'd be right back."

They took a seat and James hoped Harry didn't wake up in the middle of this meeting. They would have left him with Sirius, but he was on Order business and they felt uncomfortable leaving him with anyone else. They didn't know Bathilda very well, and she was getting very old. And Molly Weasley gave birth to her sixth son earlier in March, so she already had her hands full.

Dumbledore arrived and James felt his pulse race. This was it. Whatever Dumbledore said next couldn't possible be good news, and it had taken all his strength to come up to the school. If it hadn't been for Lily's insistence that they hear what he had to say, he never would have come here in the first place.

"You must be wondering why I asked you here today," Dumbledore said. "I'm sorry if I caused you any concern."

James noted that he didn't immediately assure them that there was no cause for concern, which was the first red flag.

"Unfortunately, I have grave news about your sons," he said.

James felt the air leave the room. His son, sleeping in his arms, grave news. Lily gripped his knee painfully and he looked back up at Dumbledore.

"What is it?" James asked, anxious to hear it, but dreading it all the same.

"I fear that both of your sons are in danger."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"There was a Prophecy made, not long ago, about a child who'd be born to those who had thrice defied Voldemort, at the end of July, with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord," Dumbledore said.

James wanted to laugh. He looked down at the sleeping face of Harry, wondering how such a small boy, barely capable of anything but eating, shitting and sleeping, could have the power to vanquish the Dark Lord. Dumbledore had finally lost it, gone off his rocker…

"Which one is it, then?" Alice said. "Both Neville and Harry were born at the end of July…"

The two couple shot one another looks. Obviously, they didn't wish harm to come to the other's child, but in doing so, they would condemn their own child. _Theirs or ours_, James thought. He didn't have a doubt on which one he'd pick, but he hated thinking it anyway.

"It's still not certain. Prophecies are very interesting things," Dumbledore mused. "Many don't even come true. We will have to wait and see before we take any action. It also seems that Voldemort has left the country, or is indeed laying low."

"What, is he gone?" James asked with a naïve hope.

"No, no, far from that," Dumbledore said. "I have my suspicions, but I believe he is preparing for something. What that is, I'm not sure."

The death of his child?

"What are we supposed to do?" Frank asked.

"For now, all of you should go into hiding."

"With the Fidelius?" Lily asked.

He shook his head. "I don't think such measures are necessary as of yet," he said. "Voldemort is not in the country, and it's possible he does not even know of the Prophecy, although that is unlikely. However, I believe I will become aware of when Voldemort makes a decision and you will be alerted immediately. I will, of course, be available, should you want me to protect your homes with the strongest charms I know, which—without wanting to sound boastful—I think are far past your knowledge."

They all agreed. "Are you sure the Fidelius is not necessary?" James asked.

"Not as of yet. Like I said, there is a chance Voldemort does not know about this at all."

Lily looked to James in despair. Harry, their month old son, already had a target on his back because James and Lily had managed to survive Voldemort three times and he arrived two weeks before he was supposed to.

"What about the Order?" James asked.

"Ah, I think it's best if you discontinue your service," Dumbledore said kindly. "It would not bode well if one of Voldemort's Death Eaters found you and brought you to him directly. I'm afraid that would go against what it means to be in hiding."

James nodded, trying to absorb this information without his lungs collapsing. This was Antarctica. They had to remain hidden for Harry's sake. He could do this. They could do this.

Later, when Lily and James were putting Harry to bed, they both sat there, watching him sleep, Lily silently crying beside the crib and James comforting her the best he could.

He couldn't shake the feeling that their son was marked to die.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sad, I know, but you all know what happens next and there's no amount of nice words that can make this into a happy event. Unfortunately, it's part of the story. But I told you I'd try to end this story with a happy ending, so don't be too sad. **

**One more chapter to go! Review! Sorry for the long wait, I got sidetracked! **


	28. Chapter 28: The Boy Who Lived

**28: The Boy Who Lived**

_January 1981_

"He slept through the night," Lily mumbled at James in the morning. "Bloody hell."

"Thank bloody Merlin," James mumbled back, eyes still closed while wrapping Lily in his arms and nuzzling her neck. "He's still not up yet, let's get a couple more hours," he said against her soft skin.

"Or," she said, turning to face him. He opened his eyes, her face a bit blurry because of his lack of glasses. "We could do something else…"

James grinned as Lily pulled at his shirt, running her hands up his chest. She kissed him, bringing herself closer to him and he rolled on top of her, his hands roaming down her body—

Harry's cry pierced the hallway and both of them groaned. James rolled off of her as Lily got out of bed and James closed his eyes, trying to remember the last time he and Lily had sex. It felt like forever.

James showered and came downstairs, watching as Lily sang her helicopter song to Harry as she fed their sixth-month-old. She didn't know he was watching, which made her elaborate dance much more expressive than it usually was.

He finally laughed when Harry clapped his hands together and Lily turned to look at him.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked, turning pink.

"Why don't you ever do that when I'm around?" he asked.

She blushed deeper. "Because. You'd make fun of me."

"Nonsense, I'd join in. Teach me."

She frowned and continued to feed Harry without the dance. "Arse," she mouthed at him so Harry couldn't hear.

"Love you, too," he said, petting their cat who'd jumped into his lap.

Harry pointed at James and shouted, "Cat!"

Lily looked at James, who was frozen. "Merlin, was that his first word?" she said, looking back at Harry.

"Well, looks like neither of us wins," James said. He and Lily had a bet on whether Harry would say 'Dada' or 'Mama' first.

"Was he pointing at you or the cat though?" Lily asked with a smile. "It looked like he was pointing at you."

"Harry's smarter than that, aren't you, son? You know I'm not a cat."

"Cat!" he said again, clapping his hands.

Lily laughed. "Harry, can you say 'Mummy'? Go on, say 'Mummy'!"

"Cat?" Harry said, pointing a stubby finger at Lily's face.

James laughed. "Looks like we're all cats."

Lily finished feeding Harry as James got them breakfast. This was one part of being in hiding that James loved. He always got to eat breakfast with his family—his beautiful, perfect family—and nothing could ruin that.

Lily put Harry in his play bin where he could sit for hours. James wound his arms around Lily's waist as she did the dishes and put his chin on her shoulder. "So, are you going to teach me that helicopter dance later?" he asked, kissing her neck.

"No," she said sternly.

"Come on, Lil," he said, moving up to her ear. "Please?"

He felt her shiver under his lips and he grinned. "If Harry can get through the night again, maybe," she said, turning her face and smiling at him. He grinned and kissed her, knowing he'd never tire of the feeling of holding Lily in his arms.

"Now, go watch Harry, he keeps putting all his toys in his mouth," she said.

James played with his son all morning, determined to get him as tired as possible by the end of the day so he could sleep through the next night. Oddly enough, James was the one who felt like he needed a nap by lunchtime.

Bathilda came round for tea after lunch, and she played with Harry as Lily got properly dressed and James took a short nap.

By nine o'clock that night, Harry was fast asleep in his crib and James followed Lily to their bedroom, his hand entwined in hers. She wordlessly slipped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly as he led her backwards onto the bed. She sighed into his mouth, pulling at his shirt and running her soft hands up his back, tracing the scar he'd gotten so many years ago.

If this was what Antarctica was like, James didn't mind moving there at all.

.

July was just around the corner and Harry was crying again, with Lily desperately trying to get him to stop. James had used his Invisibility Cloak to join Sirius on a mission without Dumbledore knowing, and Lily had only agreed because he'd promised not to take it off and that he'd be back before Harry went to bed. She'd noticed him getting restless, forced to spend time in the house, with nothing to do but entertain their eleven-month-old son and clean cobwebs. It was driving her half mad as well, but she was better at hiding it than James was.

It was Harry's bedtime and James still wasn't back yet.

"It's okay, love, stop crying," she said, bouncing him on her lap as he cried for James. "He'll be home soon, stop crying," she said, patting him on his back as he wailed, bunching his little fists in Lily's hair. "I know, sweetie, I miss him too—"

Lily managed to get Harry to bed without James' help, but she was so worried, she sat on the couch, stiff-backed and staring at the door. She no longer checked the time, which only served to remind her he was another minute late.

At one in the morning, James finally arrived, opening the door, slouched, but very much alive. He turned to Lily as she pointed a wand at his chest. "Harry's first word," she asked him.

"Cat," he said. "I'm so sorry, Lil," he said.

She was too worried to be angry with him. She dropped her wand and wrapped her arms around him, sighing when he squeezed her tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated into her hair.

"What happened?" she asked, releasing him.

"Dumbledore took my Cloak," he said miserably.

"What?" Lily asked. "Why?"

"Dunno. Said he wanted to examine it or something. He was so angry when he found Sirius and I—"

"Did anything else happen? How did he know you were there?" she asked.

"Death Eaters," he winced.

"James," she groaned, sitting on the couch and putting her head in her hands. "I never should have let you go," she said. "Merlin, that was stupid on both our parts."

"Never again," he said. "I promise."

"Tell me everything," she said.

He sighed. "Sirius and I were just supposed to be watching Edgar's house and it was supposed to be easy. I mean, we all know Voldemort wants him dead, but he's still out of the country, no one's seen him—but about an hour into it, Death Eaters arrived. About five of them. Sirius and I fought them back as best we could, and even with me in the Cloak, we weren't doing well."

Lily could imagine the scene, Sirius, seemingly alone, against five Death Eaters, James invisible—Merlin.

"And then Edgar came outside and helped us until Moody arrived. He'd gotten word out before saving us," James said, sounding miserable. "Merlin, I was so stupid, thinking that leaving the house was a good idea."

"What took you so long to get back?"

He groaned. "The Prewetts yelled at me and Sirius for a long time about irresponsibility and how I should never have accepted, and Sirius never should have asked someone who isn't officially in the Order anymore. And Edgar had to be moved again, because now the Death Eaters know where he lives. And then Dumbledore showed up, disappointed, and I told him about the Cloak—Merlin, it was like I was getting scolded by McGonagall all over again for getting caught out of bed. It was terrible."

She fell silent and now that the worry was over, she felt the anger and frustration return.

"Harry cried for an hour," she said.

He groaned. "Don't make me feel worse. I said I'm sorry."

She held his hand and stared at him. "I'm glad you're okay. And I'm sorry it's so dull here, and you're stuck with me and Harry—"

"That's not it," he said sternly. "Never think that."

"Well, what am I supposed to think? You nearly ran out the door when Sirius came calling."

He sighed. "I just miss being useful! Here, I feel like you do everything and I'm just a wasteful lump of meat, just getting in the way."

She frowned at him. "Harry needs you. He doesn't fall asleep without you."

James nodded, sighing. "I'm sorry I left. I promise to never do that again."

"Well, even if you wanted to, you can't. Dumbledore has your Cloak."

"Yes, that's true. Merlin, I hope he's not confiscating it. He said he just wanted to borrow it…"

"He can't confiscate it, he's not your Professor anymore. You could just ask for it back," she said.

"I know. But you didn't see his face, Lil. He was so disappointed."

"I'm sure he understands. Staying locked up in a home is hard for anyone. Dumbledore understands that."

"It doesn't seem to bother you," he said, looking at her. "You never complain, never act like you want to be free—"

She smiled at him. "That's because I have you and Harry and that's all I need. But it is hard. I miss seeing our friends, I miss doing things for the Order, I miss staying up all night with you…"

"Well, Dumbledore invited us to the next Order meeting," he said. "So we'll be able to see everyone at least."

"Really?" Lily said, smiling. "But how will we get there?"

"Dumbledore said to make a portkey and he showed me how to do it. It's unauthorized, but that's never stopped us before, has it?" he said with a small grin.

"When's the next meeting?"

"Next week."

"Can Harry come?"

"I would assume so. Or we can leave him with Bathilda for a bit, maybe." Lily made a face and James nodded. "Yeah, let's just bring him with us. As for the other things you miss," James said, smiling. "We could always stay up all of tonight. Harry's asleep. We don't have to go anywhere tomorrow. We can switch taking naps—"

Lily was already convinced, pulling James' face to hers and wrapping her arms around his neck.

.

James and Lily placed their hands on the portkey, Harry in James' arms as the broken brush glowed and they were pulled into Order Headquarters. James managed to land on his feet while keeping a hold on Harry (she knew those Quidditch skills would pay off somehow). Lily got to her feet and hugged all her old friends, and they all congratulated her on Harry, taking turns passing him around. Neville was, according to Alice, with Frank's mother, so Harry was getting all of the attention.

There were a couple people she hadn't seen there before, like Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, who had a sour expression and kept mostly to himself. This wasn't so much a meeting rather than a gathering.

"Let's all take a picture," Remus said, grabbing his camera. Harry was playing in the corner with some of his toys, and she left him there as the adults gathered around. She stood beside Peter, grabbing James' hand from behind Peter's back and smiled at him.

Remus set the timer and ran into the picture. They all smiled as they waved at the camera.

"Remus," Lily said, giving him another hug. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," she said, smiling at him fondly.

"That's because you haven't," he said. He looked over her shoulder discreetly and she noticed whom he was catching a glimpse of. Marlene McKinnon.

"Still haven't done something about that one, huh?" she said, looking at Remus meaningfully.

He sighed and smiled. "Nothing _to_ do about that one," he said. "I'm a werewolf, hated by all wizards. She doesn't know yet, but being in the Order, she'll find out soon enough and then she'll hate me."

"Remus, you know that's not true. I know you, and we're great friends. It has nothing to do with anything but what's in here," she said, putting his hand on his heart. "And that's pure gold."

He smiled at her. "You're a good friend, Lily. But I don't think her family will think the same way. People are scared of werewolves, as they should be," he said sadly.

She wasn't sure what to say to him, but she gave him another hug anyway. "Send me that picture, will you?" she asked him. He nodded and said goodbye to everyone.

Sirius was staring at Remus suspiciously and Lily turned to face him.

"What are you thinking now?"

"He has a picture of everyone in the Order," Sirius said, staring after Remus. "Right in his hand."

"Which he's going to send me a copy of because I asked for one," Lily noted, picking up Harry. "Are you going to accuse me of being a spy as well?"

Sirius frowned at her, his face softening slightly when Harry reached for him. He looked at Lily.

"Why is he doing that?" Sirius asked.

She rolled her eyes. "He wants you to hold him."

"No, he doesn't," Sirius said. She put Harry in his hands anyway and Sirius held him like a bag of onions, staring at Harry with an expression of wariness. "Am I doing it right?"

Lily snorted and smiled at him. "You're doing just fine. Remember, he's a human, not a case of Firewhiskey," she said. "He likes to cuddle," she said, laughing at his face.

Sirius cradled him a bit more in one arm and Lily smiled. James came up behind her and put an arm on her shoulder, watching Sirius.

Harry yawned and closed his eyes. Sirius looked up at them. "What was that?"

"A yawn," Lily said, exasperated. "Merlin, he's a baby. You're treating him like an alien."

"Babies _are_ aliens to me," he said. "What do I do?"

"Don't wake up him, idiot," James said. "He's finally sleeping through the night. You're going to have to come home with us and put him in his crib."

"What, you're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Drop my baby in the portkey, and I will murder you, Black," Lily said. Sirius looked fearful, but accepted the task with a comical degree of gravity, nodding as he outstretched a finger to the broken brush.

Sirius put Harry in his crib and they walked him to the door. Before leaving, Sirius stood there, looking at both of them.

"Is everything—"

"I love you two," he said, wrapping both of them in a bear hug. Lily was too surprised to speak. He let them go abruptly and opened the door, Disapparating from their garden.

"What was—"

"No clue," James said, closing the door.

"Merlin, do you think he's ever said those words before?"

"And meant it? Probably only once. To Mary. But even then, I have my doubts," James sighed. "Back to Antarctica."

.

_Late July 1981_

Wormtail sat at the table, looking glum, and James couldn't blame him. It had been a terrible week. The worst week. Lily had just stopped crying about it yesterday, and they were all drained. Even Harry seemed more subdued than usual, but James couldn't see how a one-year-old would understand what was happening.

"Can I get you anything?" James asked his old friend. "Firewhiskey? Food?"

Peter shook his head. "How are you two doing?"

"Fine," James said, nodding. Although, he wasn't. "Any news of Voldemort?"

Peter inhaled sharply, his fingers trembling. "What do you mean?"

James apologized. "Sorry, didn't mean to say his name, it just slipped out. But you really shouldn't be afraid, Pete, that'll just make it worse."

Peter nodded blankly. "Dumbledore still thinks he's out of the country."

"It's been a while," James said. "I wonder what he's doing."

"Why would you wonder that?" Peter asked.

James shrugged. "Isn't he supposed to be targeting Harry? I mean, he's taking his sweet time, isn't he?"

"You sound like you want him to come for Harry," Peter said, whimpering.

"Of course I don't!" James said. "I'm just sick of waiting, you know? When I could be out there, helping, and the McKinnons—"

Wormtail hid his face, his fingers shaking. "Sorry, mate," James said, putting a hand on Peter's shoulder. He didn't think he and Marlene were that close. Maybe they had become friends while James and Lily were here. "Sorry, didn't mean to bring it up."

"It's fine," Peter said, nodding and gulping. "I'll take a water, actually."

James stood to get his friend a drink. "Heard from Remus lately?"

Peter shook his head. "We've all been getting different shifts, and longer now. I think Dumbledore's trying to keep us separated."

"What? Why would he do that?"

Peter shrugged. "Haven't seen Sirius in a while either. Don't know what either of them are up to, besides what I hear from others. Ironically, I think you're the one I see the most, and you're supposed to be in hiding," he said.

Lily entered the kitchen and smiled at Peter, her fingers running along James' shoulders as she passed. "How are you doing, Wormy?"

"Fine. You look tired," he noted.

She nodded and sighed. "It's been a tough week."

"Did they catch who did it?" James asked.

Wormtail nodded. "Travers, and a couple others who claimed they were Imperiused."

Lily made a noise of disgust and stood from the table, hiding her face. James knew he should change the subject, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Peter looked at his watch. "My shift starts soon, I should go," he said, nervously.

"Be safe," James said, shaking his hand. "If you see Remus or Sirius, tell them we'd like to see their faces once in a while, if they can spare the time."

He nodded.

"Be careful out there, Peter," Lily said, smiling at him. James could see tears in her eyes.

"See you," he said, closing the door.

"Lil," James said. "Come on. I thought you were okay now."

"I am, I'm okay," she said, wiping her face. "Sorry. Fuc—_fudge_."

He turned her around and smiled at her, pushing her hair out of her face. "Sure?"

She nodded, smiling. "Fine. Promise."

"You know what we need? A night out."

She laughed and nodded. "If only."

"Why not? We could ask Bathilda to babysit for an hour, we'll walk around town and come straight back. You need fresh air, Lil."

She shook her head. "We don't have the Cloak. And as far as we know, the Death Eaters know we live in Godric's Hollow—"

"We can handle—"

The look on her face stopped him in his tracks.

The McKinnons couldn't handle the Death Eaters. What made them more qualified to handle Death Eaters any more than a couple of trained Aurors and their daughter?

"Okay," he said, sitting back down. "You're right."

"I'm sorry," she said blankly. "I know you hate being stuck here."

"It's not that I hate being stuck here," he said, knowing it hurt her when he acted like this. He needed to explain. "I hate that people are dying, when we're sitting here, perfectly capable of fighting, but we can't because—"

"—Of Harry?" she said, her face turning hard, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Fuck. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then? Because if you want to go waste your life and save others while our _son_ has a target on his back, then by all means, I'm not stopping you. We don't need someone around who doesn't want to be here," she said, angry tears filling her eyes.

He clenched his fists. "You know that's not what I meant," he said.

"Explain it to me, then! Isn't that what you're saying, that you could have saved the McKinnons if you weren't locked up here, _forced_ to this house?"

"No! Of course not—"

Harry's cry erupted from the next room and Lily closed her eyes, wiping her face. James hit the table with his fist and she walked past him. Fucking hell.

When James cooled down, he went into the nursery and found Lily sitting on the chair with sleeping Harry in her arms.

"I think we need space, James," she said quietly.

"What?" he asked sharply. She refused to look at him or respond. Fucking bloody hell, no, he had to fix this. "I'm not leaving," he said firmly.

"Okay, fine. Harry and I will go," she said, standing and putting Harry in his crib. "We'll be out of your hair in the morning." She went to move past him, but he grabbed her wrist. She still kept her eyes to the ground, but he pulled her out of the nursery and into their room, soundproofing it in case they started yelling again.

"No one is leaving anywhere," he said.

She looked at her hands. "Harry and I are going to go in the morning."

"Where?" he bit out. "Where are you going to take him?"

"Alice's. They're under the same protection as we are. It's the next safest place."

"Lil, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I said those things. Of course I wouldn't have been able to help any of them even if I was out there, and I may have even gotten myself killed. I'm sorry. You and Harry come first. I'm here and I'm staying. Don't leave."

She finally looked up at him, the look in her eyes cutting gashes into his chest. "You don't want to be here."

"Who wants to live in Antarctica, sequestered away from all their friends, in danger, and unable to protect their own family? Of course I don't want to be here!"

"Finally, you admit it!" she yelled back, standing from the bed. "_Finally_! I've been seeing it for ages—you wanting to sneak out with Sirius, wanting to give up our son to Bathilda so we can go out—Merlin! Her great-nephew was _Gellert Grindelwald_, for _fuck's_ sake, and you want to just let her babysit our son?! And it's like you don't even care that Harry can walk around the entire room by himself, or that his birthday is coming up—"

"Voldemort wants him dead—what does a fucking birthday matter?"

"Then leave!" she said, shouting in his face and pointing at the door. "Fucking leave! If you don't care about the safety of our son, go save someone else! Save fucking Marlene McKinnon and get the hell away from us! Is that what you want?"

"What I want is for Harry to be able to live a normal life, without having to worry about if he can go outside to play because his life is in danger! All Harry knows about the world is our small house. For Merlin's sake, he probably think the only other people in this world are Bathilda, Peter and us! I want Harry to know what his parents' friends are like, and not have to see us sitting in this house, wasting away! I want Harry to _live_!"

Lily sat down on the bed and put her face in her hands. James pulled on his hair and paced in front of the bed. Fuck.

"I'm sorry," he spit out. "I'm sorry we're in this fucking situation and I'm sorry that I can't do anything about it."

"No one asked you to do anything," Lily said quietly, looking to the floor.

"That's the fucking problem."

She exhaled and stared at him. "Are you going to abandon Harry and go on a mission to save the rest of the world, or are you going to stay here and stop fucking complaining?"

He rubbed his face. "I'm not leaving."

That seemed to satisfy her enough to stop the conversation and she went under the covers and shut off the lights. James didn't know whether that meant he could sleep in the bed, or if she wanted him to leave the room.

He sighed and got into bed beside her. He told her he wasn't leaving, and he meant it. She turned her back to him, and James knew she was crying.

"Lil," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off and he sighed. "I'm sorry. I love you."

"Goodnight, James," she said. James stared at the ceiling. He pretended that it didn't sting that she didn't say it back.

When James woke up with the sun streaming through the window, he looked over and saw that Lily's spot on the bed was empty. He jumped out of bed and ran to the nursery. Harry was gone. He checked all the rooms, bathrooms, all empty. Fuck!

"Lily!" he screamed, his mouth dry, his heart pounding. She didn't actually leave, did she? Fuckfuckfuck—

He ran outside and his heart nearly stopped. Lily was sitting in the garden, drinking tea and calm as fuck.

He sputtered and she stared at him, deadpan. "Finally. I thought you were going to sleep through the summer," she said blankly.

"Where's Harry?" he finally managed to choke out.

She pointed behind him and he saw a blur of black hair and red shirt, zooming two feet above the air, laughing in joy—

"Sirius' birthday gift came early," she said, smiling weakly at him. She still hadn't forgiven him for last night, he could tell by the stiffness of her mouth.

"Oh, fu—dge," James said, laughing in relief. He chased his son around, who was flying around the lawn, laughing jovially. He finally caught him, bringing his laughing boy up to his face and blowing a raspberry on his stomach, which made Harry cackle in joy. The toy broomstick hovered near James' ankles and he put Harry back on it, watching him fly off.

Lily was watching him with a guarded expression and he went to her, kneeling in front of her legs and grabbing her hands. "I'm fucking sorry," he said. "What I said yesterday, it was the dumbest thing I've ever said in my entire life, and if you still hate me, I'll understand. But I'm not leaving. Never. You and Harry are my life now, and even if I never see another soul, I promise, I'm never leaving. Even if you tell me to leave, I won't ever go. Please. Fucking forgive me."

She regarded him coolly. "It's a nice sentiment, but I think it would have sounded better without the cursing," she said slowly.

James laughed and picked her up, swinging her around the garden.

"Put me down!" she said, shrieking.

He held her around the waist, her feet floating above the ground. He looked up at her with all the love in his heart as her hands rested on his shoulders, keeping herself upright. "Say you don't hate me."

She rolled her eyes. "I never hated you, arse."

He grinned. "Say you forgive me," he said.

She considered it, pursing her lips, but finally nodding with a resigned sigh. "I forgive you."

"Never fucking scare me like that again. I thought you'd left," he said, the relief flowing through him like a coursing river. He was still holding her around the waist.

"That was the idea," she said, coyly.

"I love you," he said, smiling at her.

She sighed. "I love you back, Potter," she said with a small, forgiving, most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.

He grinned and kissed her, ecstatic when she responded enthusiastically.

"Now put me down, or else our son is going to kill the cat," she said.

"What?" he said, turning his head with Lily still in his arms.

Harry was dragging the cat by the tail, whizzing around on his little toy broomstick, laughing and giggling at the cat who was desperately scratching at the ground for safety.

James laughed and let his wife down as she quickly ran to the cat's rescue. He watched as Lily untangled the cat's tail from Harry's strong grip. "He's going to be a Chaser, just like his Dad," he said, picking Harry up again and tickling him. "Eh, Harry? Are you going to be a star Quidditch player, just like Daddy?"

"Play like Daddy!"

"Don't encourage him," Lily said, collecting the broomstick. He wasn't sure if she was talking to him or Harry. "All right, love, enough play time. Merlin, grass in your hair already and it's not even lunch yet," she said, picking flecks of green from his hair.

"Leave it in, Evans, that's what adds to the Potter messiness. You know how much is living in my hair right now? It's probably a mini ecosystem."

She laughed and they walked inside, the cat disappearing upstairs, far away from Harry. He watched as Harry walked around the living room by himself. Merlin, had he been too distracted with the McKinnons and his own self-pity to notice his own son walk around the house?

Antarctica was the most beautiful place in the world.

.

"The Prewetts are dead," Sirius said, his head in his hands. Harry was fast asleep in his room as the 'adults' sat in the living room. Lily couldn't feel the air in her lungs.

"What?" James breathed out, but still, Lily felt nothing but suffocation.

Sirius grabbed his head and no one said a word. The Prewetts, Fabian and Gideon, were dead.

"How?" Lily dared to ask.

"Ambushed on patrol. Five of them, led by Dolohov. The Aurors got him, but, fuck, someone told them they were going to be there. They were targeted, just like the McKinnons. They're picking us off, one by one."

"Sirius, you should go into hiding," James said. "You're a blood traitor, one of the worst. You don't know if you're going to be next—"

Sirius laughed sharply and Lily flinched. "They don't want me."

"How do you know that?" James asked. "You have family inside his inner ring! They're either going to recruit you, or kill you."

Sirius scoffed. "I'd like to see them try."

Lily watched her husband frown, but she could see he wasn't going to argue with Sirius. "What about Voldemort, is he back in the country yet?"

Sirius shook his head. "No one knows what the fuck he's doing. Dumbledore's as confused as the rest of us. He thinks he's preparing for something."

James and Lily exchanged looks. "Preparing to kill Harry?" James said before Lily could. She still couldn't breath properly, so talking wasn't really an option for her right now.

"The fuck if I know." He gave a great sigh. "You should go into the Fidelius soon."

"What about Dumbledore? What does he say?" James asked.

"Dunno. Dumbledore hasn't been talking to us lately. I feel like he's lost hope," Sirius admitted.

"What?" Lily managed to get out. Her voice sounded high. She couldn't even shed a tear for Fabian and Gideon, the two Aurors who had saved their lives countless times. She didn't think it had sunk in yet.

"I don't know. He gets guarded whenever I ask him about things and he just seems…deflated. He tried convincing Edgar and his family into the Fidelius, but Edgar shot that down, saying that the defenses he has now are enough. He even refused guards, saying they could be used elsewhere and two extra people outside his front door is the last thing the Order can spare." Sirius shook his head. His hair was starting to grow out and he hadn't shaved in a couple days. "We're outnumbered."

Sirius only stayed for a couple hours more, not saying anything, the three of them sitting in silence in the dark of their living room. It was like the three of them just wanted the quiet assurance that the person next to them was still breathing and warm—the assurance that they weren't alone.

After Sirius left, Lily went upstairs, leaving James on the couch.

She was worried that James would want to take off again, like he wanted to after the death of the McKinnons, but when he crawled into bed a few minutes later, she let out a breath of relief. His arm snaked around her waist, his warm body aligning with her back and he kissed her neck.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her, reading her tense body and wrapping her tightly against him.

She turned around to face him. "I'm scared for Harry," she admitted.

"So am I. I'll write Dumbledore in the morning and ask him for a meeting."

"Okay."

"It's going to be okay," he said, kissing her forehead and holding her hand. "We're going to be fine."

She nodded, even though she didn't entirely believe it, tears slipping out the corner of her eyes. "We're going to be okay," she repeated.

.

The Dark Lord returned from his trip in late September. Sev was anxious, but he wanted to see him. Lily's life…he needed to know.

"My Lord," Bellatrix gushed. She daren't ask where he had been this entire time, but she had been too long without her Master and she could barely contain her excitement. "Have you finished preparing?" she asked him.

"Yes," he slithered. A chill went down Sev's spine. "I've decided."

"Who, my Lord?" Bella said, almost kneeling at his feet. "Tell us, we'll bring them to you."

"No," he said, looking the most non-human Sev had ever seen him look. "I must do this alone."

They waited for his decision in suspense. Sev forced himself to block his mind. No one could know what he was thinking, especially not the Dark Lord. He put a barrier around his mind, protecting himself from the Dark Lord's piercing eyes.

"Harry Potter," he said, tasting the name like a snake would taste the air around it.

Something in Sev stirred, but he kept his mind closed. The Potters. Lily.

"My Lord, if I may," Sev said calmly. He stepped forward and Voldemort looked at him curiously.

"Do you have something to say, Severus?"

"Yes, my Lord. Do you plan to kill the Potters along with the boy?" he asked, already knowing that he did.

Voldemort narrowed his already slit-like eyes. "Why does this concern you?"

Sev blocked his mind, knowing Voldemort would try to peer through. He only let the surface of his false story into his mind. "My Lord, I care not about the life of the boy or his blood-traitor father, however, Lily Evans has, _ah_, meaning to me. I wish to preserve her life so that I may have it for my own when the time is right," he said, hoping that the Dark Lord took that to understand that Sev wanted to kill her himself, even though that wasn't entirely what he meant.

Voldemort looked amused. "What are you asking of me, Severus?"

"Kill Potter and his boy, but I beg you to leave Lily Evans for me."

Voldemort smiled, menacing and terrifying. "You beg, Severus? That doesn't look like you are begging," he said.

Sev got down on his knees, trying to keep his expression neutral. If the Dark Lord wanted him to beg, he would do it. A couple of his colleagues chuckled at him, begging for a Mudblood's life so pathetically. Hopefully he had convinced enough of them that he wanted her dead as much as everyone else, and that he was really doing this for the satisfaction of ending her life instead of what was really in his heart.

"My Lord, I beg you. Spare Lily Evans in exchange for her husband and son. I would like to have the pleasure of having her life for my own," he said, looking Voldemort in the eye and letting him take a shallow look around his mind. He could feel the Dark Lord's mind probe, cold as his eyes and sharp as his serpentine tongue.

Voldemort grinned—or as much as he could. It was more of a leer. "Very well, Severus. I will spare the girl. We will begin our task in the morning."

They disbanded and Sev lasted for a couple minutes more until he could get away. He Apparated to his home and bent over, gasping for breath. He had lied to the Dark Lord and still stood there to acknowledge it.

The Dark Lord had given him his word to spare Lily, but he knew how fickle the Dark Lord could be, and knowing Lily, she would not allow her husband and son to die while she went free. He knew she would never do that. Sev had to ensure her safety and the only way to do that was—

Dumbledore. The only man the Dark Lord has ever feared.

.

James, Lily and Harry stood in Dumbledore's office, alone this time, and Lily tried calming Harry down, who was not having a good time. James tried entertaining him with his wand, but it wasn't working. Lily thought it was probably the new environment, he wasn't used to all the light and colors…a young boy should not be forced to live in a bubble without the stimulation of the world to engage him.

Dumbledore arrived and Lily refused to look at him, choosing to stare at Harry instead. He would get her through this. All of this was for Harry.

"I'm afraid I have some grave news," Dumbledore said. "I have a source that tells me Voldemort has chosen Harry as the boy in the Prophecy. He plans to kill all three of you. You are in very real danger."

Lily continued to look at Harry, trying to calm him down, refusing to look away from him. She could sense James beside her, as rigid as a stone wall.

"We'll use the Fidelius. He won't be able to find us," James said, his voice stiff.

"Yes, I believe that is the best course of action. You will be required to choose a Secret Keeper. I suggest it be one of you, since the Dark Lord will not be able to coerce the secret from you when he cannot find you," Dumbledore suggested.

James looked at Lily, who was still trying to keep it together. At least she was able to look Dumbledore in the eye, if only for short periods of time. "I think it should be Sirius," James said.

Dumbledore's face didn't move, but Lily could tell he did not agree, just by his silence. "If you insist that another person be Secret Keeper instead of either you or Lily, I will volunteer. In the danger of sounding immodest, I do not believe Voldemort will be able to get me to divulge your location."

James shook his head with a small smile. "We appreciate your offer, Professor, but we don't think Sirius would give up our location either. He would rather die."

"You've already discussed this," Dumbledore stated rather than asked.

"Sirius agrees. We trust him with our lives. And Harry's," James said. Lily was still trying not to cry, so she just nodded, finally getting Harry to calm down a little. He still had tears in his green eyes, but he was no longer wailing. She smiled at him and tried to show him she wasn't scared. They could do this. Together, they could do this.

"I urge you to reconsider," Dumbledore said simply.

Lily looked up at Dumbledore, recognizing the tone of his voice as the one Sirius used when talking about Remus. "Sirius is not the spy," she said immediately.

Dumbledore didn't admit anything, he just looked at them sternly. "Your trust is admirable, but in the light of this dark time—"

"Sir, we're going with Sirius," James insisted. "He would rather die than give up our location."

Lily thought Dumbledore was mildly annoyed, but he hid it well. "Very well. But you should know, that if your Secret Keeper dies, all people he has told of your location becomes a Secret Keeper. So if Sirius tells five people where you live, and is subsequently killed, the five people will be able to divulge the secret to Voldemort. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir," James said. Lily nodded.

"Very well. I think we will be able to perform the Charm next week. I will be alerted if Voldemort decides to move earlier than his plan. You will have time to say goodbye to your friends and make any last minute arrangements you may have."

"Sir," James said. "My Cloak? Have you finished, er, inspecting it?"

"I will return it to you shortly, James," Dumbledore said.

"Right, okay."

"Very well," Dumbledore said, pulling out a torn book and making it a portkey. "You are free to go home."

.

It was the day before the set date for the Fidelius casting. Sirius was sitting in their kitchen, thinking hard.

"If you don't want to do it," James started, "we'll understand. I can be Secret Keeper and no one will harm you."

"No, that's not it," Sirius said. "But don't you think I'm a bit obvious?"

"What do you mean?" Lily said.

"I mean, we're best mates," he said. "We trust each other with our lives. When you two finally go missing, won't I be the first one they turn to?"

"Like I said, Sirius, if you don't want to—"

"I'm not scared," he said with a small eye roll. "I just think that maybe, we should have a better plan."

"What do you mean?"

Sirius sighed. "You're probably not going to like this idea."

"Please tell us," Lily said. "We only have one day left."

"Well, I'm the obvious choice for Secret Keeper, besides you or James. Then, maybe it's Dumbledore. But what about someone like Peter? I mean, no offence to Peter, but he doesn't give off the feeling that he's really that strong-willed and he'd be further down on the list of people that you two are likely to pick as Secret Keeper, no?"

"You want us to change our Secret Keeper to Peter?" James asked, a trace of disbelief in his voice that Sirius picked up on.

"Just hear me out. I'm not trying to shirk my responsibilities off to Pete, I'm just saying. No one will think you picked Pete as your Secret Keeper when both me and Dumbledore are better options. Dumbledore and I can serve as unofficial decoys, and I can keep an eye out for Peter and make sure no one ever suspects him. That way, even if they do manage to find me and somehow coerce me to give up your location, I couldn't tell them even if I wanted to."

"But no one can force you to give up our location. Veritaserum doesn't work on the Secret, and neither does torture or Imperius. You have to willingly give it up," Lily said. "And I don't see you doing that anytime soon, unless I've seriously misjudged the last couple of years."

"Of course I would never give it up willingly—"

"Then I don't see the point," James said. "Besides, would Peter even agree to this?"

"I've already spoken to him and asked. He seemed nervous about it, but he eventually agreed. He even seemed, I don't know, like _relieved_ or something, that we thought of him. Come on, Prongs, it's a brilliant plan," Sirius said, grinning.

"But are we even sure Peter can defend himself in case they do come for him?" James asked.

Lily nodded. "You two never give him enough credit. While I tutored him at Hogwarts, he was doing pretty advanced dueling spells and held his own. Plus, he's still alive, which says something, doesn't it?" Lily said a bit morbidly.

"Exactly," Sirius said. "Pete's a survivor because he knows when to duck his head. And he already agreed. This is the perfect plan as long as it's just us four who know of it. Everyone on the outside will think I'm the Secret Keeper, so they'll come after me, meanwhile, I can keep Peter safe. At least until I'm killed, or whatever, but then your location will still be safe, in that case. It's flawless," Sirius said.

James smiled. "Okay, let's do it."

"We can't even tell Dumbledore though, so when he casts the charm, both Peter and I should be here."

"We can't tell Dumbledore?" Lily asked.

"No, the fewer people who know about this, the better. I don't even think anyone besides me and Pete should know of your location. If, Merlin forbid, something happens to Pete, then I would be the only remaining Secret Keeper."

"What about Remus?" James said.

Sirius made a face. "I haven't seen Remus in ages. The last time was probably the meeting in July with you two there. He's stopped showing up."

"He's not the spy, Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you?" Lily complained. "He would never give up the McKinnons like that. You didn't see his face whenever he looked at her."

"Whatever," he said. "Just don't tell Remus. Besides, when was the last time he got in contact with you in the first place? Just keep it close. Pete and me, that's it."

James frowned, but nodded. "I don't like whatever is happening between you and Remus. You two were close. You shouldn't distrust him like this."

"All is fair in love and war, mate. This is war and Remus hasn't been trying to convince me otherwise. It doesn't matter. It's in the past now."

Lily and James hugged Sirius as he left, promising to bring Peter here tomorrow.

"Oh, hold on," James said, running upstairs. He came back down with his two-way mirror he shared with Sirius. "Give this to Peter. You two can use it to check up on one another. Merlin knows I won't need this anymore."

Sirius nodded, looking solemn. He gave James another brotherly hug. "So, this is it, huh? I thought it would be more…substantial than this."

James sighed. "Well, Lily and I will still be here, waiting it out."

"See you tomorrow, Prongs."

"Bye, Padfoot."

James watched from the window as his best friend got on his motorbike—with better protective charms now so that Death Eaters wouldn't be able to find him in it—and rode off.

.

_October 31__th__, 11:51 PM_

"James, can you get Harry into his pyjamas?" Lily asked. She could hear Harry laughing in the living room with James, and small exploding fireworks from her husband's wand. "It's nearly midnight! He needs to sleep!"

"Just a couple more minutes, Lil!" James said, laughing. "Look at his face when I do this, watch!" he said, sprouting more fireworks from his wand. Both James and Harry burst out laughing and Lily smiled.

"It's almost midnight, he needs to sleep," she repeated, coming over. Harry smiled at his mother and tried to get James to continue his wand work.

"He took that monstrous nap earlier, he's fine," James said, yawning. "Besides, it's his first real Halloween since he was too young to remember his last one. He deserves to stay up for a few more minutes. Just let him stay up until midnight, and then I promise, I'll put him to bed," James said, sending more sparks flying into the room, grinning as Harry squealed in delight.

She laughed as Harry clapped. "More!" Harry shouted.

James did as commanded and smiled widely at his son as he laughed. He and Lily looked at one another, love in their eyes.

Their son was safe and they loved each other, more than they did themselves. All was well.

.

_November 1__st__, 8:17 AM_

Sirius checked his watch. Peter was supposed to be here seventeen minutes ago, but he still hadn't shown up.

"Pete," he said into the two-way mirror he used to share with James. "Peter, where are you?" he asked.

There was nothing in the mirror and Sirius was starting to worry. There was a knot in his chest that he couldn't shake and he left his apartment, getting onto his bike.

Fuck, maybe putting their trust in Peter was the wrong choice. Maybe they came for him. Maybe he was dead.

He flew through the sky to Peter's house and knocked on the door, his heart pounding. The door was open. Fuck.

Sirius entered, wand drawn, prepared to see Peter lying face up on the ground, with blank eyes.

But there was nothing. Not a pillow out of place. Not a trace of things gone wrong, or a murder committed. It was just empty, as if Peter had just…_left_.

A blanket of cold dread covered Sirius and he couldn't breathe as the realization wrapped around his throat and began to tighten. The spy—not Remus, they were so blind—tricked them all—Peter—

Sirius flew to James and Lily's, desperate for him to be wrong. It couldn't be—not Peter. Not little Peter Pettigrew, barely able to fight on his own in a duel, barely able to make it through a meeting without whimpering—but that was all an act. It was fear of a different master, and Sirius had handed Voldemort everything he needed—convincing James and Lily to trust the traitor.

No.

The house was in ruins. The top bedroom—Harry's bedroom—was torn into pieces, black as the insides of Sirius' heart. He couldn't be dead—James, Lily, _Harry_—

"Black?" a voice said, startling him out of his despair. It was Hagrid, the gameskeeper at Hogwarts. In his arms was a bundle of blankets—Harry—

"Hagrid," he choked out, grabbing at Hagrid's arm to keep himself standing upright. The air wasn't getting to his brain and he feared he might faint, for the first time in his life. "Hagrid, is that Harry?"

"He's all righ'," Hagrid said, sniffing a little. "Bit of a scar, but all righ'."

"James—Lily—"

Hagrid shook his giant head and Sirius collapsed, grabbing his head in his hands. All his fault—all his fault—

"There, there," Hagrid said, patting Sirius on the back. His knees sunk into the grass, but he couldn't feel it. All he felt was the guilt—the pain.

"Hagrid," Sirius said, standing up weakly and wiping his face. "What are you doing here? How did you know?"

"Dumbledore sent me. Found out about You-Know-Who and asked me to collect Harry."

"But I'm his godfather, he should come with me—" Sirius said, extending his arms. Harry, poor Harry, an orphan—James, Lily—all his faut—

"Sorry, Sirius," Hagrid said. "Got me orders. Gotta take Harry ter his aunt and uncle—"

"James hasn't got any siblings—I'm his brother, I'm Harry's godfather, give him to me, Hagrid, I'll look after him—"

"Can't," Hagrid said sadly. "They're Lily's family—"

"The Muggles?" Sirius said, broken. "Harry can't live there, they're terrible, I saw them once—he can come live with me, he _knows_ me—"

"Dumbledore's orders," Hagrid said, putting a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Harry'll be safest with them. Dumbledore knows best."

Sirius thought about arguing again, but he knew he would never win. He nodded, feeling the life drain out of him, leaving just a shell. Without Harry, he had nothing left. No friends, no Harry, no life, no soul—

"Sorry, I need ter be headin' off…"

"What about James and Lily?" Sirius asked, looking to the house. Were they still in there, bodies cold and dead? Dare he check inside in case Hagrid misunderstood? Maybe they were just in the Body-Bind and Hagrid didn't know how to get them out—

"Dumbledore'll be here later to collect 'em. Best be goin'. Need ter drop by St. Mungo's fer Harry's checkup, make sure he's all righ'."

Sirius nodded blankly, still looking to the house. Something inside of him needed to check, needed to make sure.

"You'll be all righ', Black?" Hagrid asked.

Sirius didn't answer. "Take my bike to get Harry there. Wherever you're going. There are charms on it to protect it from anything. He'll be safe."

Hagrid looked at him in surprise. "Sure? I'll return it soon as I'm done."

Sirius shook his head. "Keep it. I won't need it anymore," he told him.

He gave Hagrid the keys and watched him take off, Harry in his arms. He never got to say goodbye. But perhaps that was best. Harry would cut all ties with the wizarding world and he'd be safe. Safe from Sirius Black, the reason why he no longer had any parents. It was all his fault.

He looked at the house and opened the door, the Fidelius broken now that its subjects were gone.

He froze at the threshold, seeing James' limp body lying on the floor. His eyes stared at the ceiling—cold, dead, unmoving. Sirius choked, unable to see his brother like his, broken and lifeless, dead because of his actions, his son orphaned because of him—the second time Sirius was responsible for the death of a brother—

He closed James' eyes and went upstairs, in search of Lily. He knew where he would find her.

The room was blown apart, the cold autumn breeze chilling Sirius to his bones. Lily lay on the floor in front of Harry's crib, broken and limp like James. Her green eyes stared up at him and he felt the guilt crush him. He never realized how much life actually lived in her eyes until he saw how empty they seemed now. She died protecting her son and he stood there, alive and guilty. Merlin, it was too much.

His best friends, forever frozen. Gone. All his fault.

He closed her eyes as well and left, his breath coming in short gasps, his tears blurring his vision. He noticed vaguely the Muggles gathering and he figured he should do something for his friends. He made a vague movement with his wand, unsure of what spell he was trying to do, but as soon as it was done, the Muggles turned away, disinterested, as if they could no longer see the house. He could still see it though—the terrible broken house—and he saw Bathilda Bagshot standing at the end of the street, nodding at him and wiping her eyes. She could still see it too.

She came over and he stood there, unsure of what to say.

"I saw it this morning and contacted Dumbledore," she said sadly, staring up at Harry's destroyed bedroom. "I thought my old mind was playing tricks, but I know it wouldn't be that cruel to me," she said, taking out her wand. "You're the best friend, aren't you?"

He nodded, numb.

She waved her wand and he watched as a plaque rose where the gate once stood. He couldn't bear to read it, knowing that whatever it said would just scream _GUILTY_ at him like an exploding Howler.

His best friends, gone. All his fault, all his—_no_. Wait.

It wasn't _Sirius_ who told Voldemort where the Potters were staying. It wasn't Sirius. It was _Peter_.

He was going to find Pettigrew and kill the fucking traitor if it was the last thing he did. That fucking rat was dead.

.

Harry sat in his study, looking at the photo Hagrid gave him many years ago of his parents at their wedding, smiling lovingly at one another, with Sirius laughing by their side. He wished they could be here to see him, meet Ginny, meet their first grandchild—

"Harry?" Ginny called.

"In here," he said. He saw her pregnant belly before the rest of her body followed, her radiant smile the last thing his eyes rested upon.

"What are you doing?" she asked, sitting on the edge of his desk and picking up the picture frame of his parents and waving at Sirius.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, mentally blocking out the list of things he needed to be doing, but wasn't. "Nothing productive."

She smiled at him, apt as ever at reading his mind. "We still need to pick baby names," she said, hand on her stomach. Harry put his on top of hers.

"I told you, it's going to be a girl," Harry said, grinning at her. "And we're naming her Harriet, after her dad," Harry said.

She rolled her eyes. "I know you're joking, but that's a terrible name. And who said you're the father?" she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Harry frowned at her and she laughed, kissing him on the nose.

"Stop being an idiot," she said lovingly. "And I told you a million times before, it's a boy and you're wrong. As always."

"Well, I don't have any boy names."

"James Harry Potter. The second," Ginny said, putting the picture in his hand. "Has a nice ring."

Harry smiled at her, watching his parents and Sirius laugh for the millionth time and wishing they were here for the trillionth.

"James _Sirius_ Potter," Harry remedied quietly. Padfoot and Prongs till the end.

"Even better," she said, grabbing his hand. "James Sirius Potter. Merlin. I feel like we're taunting fate by naming him after two of the rowdiest students Hogwarts has had."

He sighed, smiling. "But this conversation is moot because our first child is going to be a girl named Harriet Ginevra Potter."

Ginny fake vomited. "Terrible. Our child will forever be mocked because of you. Possibly the two worst names in magical history. And it's not a girl."

Harry laughed and stood from his chair so he could kiss his wife properly. She moved the hair from his scar, but it stubbornly refused to budge.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you back, Potter," she said, grinning.

"And little James Sirius Potter," he said, putting both hands on her belly. "He'll have to play Quidditch, that's for sure."

Ginny beamed at him. "You called him James."

He shrugged. "James, Harriet, I don't care. As long as we're together and he's not the last. Little Harriet will come eventually," he said.

She nodded. "And I will try my hardest in that time to change your mind about what she's named."

Harry laughed. "I don't actually want to name our daughter after me," he said.

"I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "If I thought you were serious, I'd have packed my bags already and moved in with Harriet's real father."

Harry snorted and kissed her temple. "James Sirius. Pretty good name."

"How about this," she said. "I pick the first names, you get to pick the middle names."

"Deal," Harry said with a grin. "But no backing out, Weasley. That's a binding contract."

She rolled her eyes. "As long as it's not Ginevra, I think I'll be okay with whatever you pick."

"Promise?" he said, grinning.

She shook her head with a laugh. "You're going to make me regret this, aren't you, Potter?"

Harry shrugged and planted a kiss on her lips as they walked in their garden, enjoying the sun and their last few days before they became parents.

All was well.

THE END.

* * *

**Author's Note: I know, I stole JKR's last words of HP7, but I hope you don't mind/sue me for copywriting issues. It's just such a simple phrase that wraps everything up. I thought using "And they lived happily ever after," was entirely inappropriate and lame. **

**I'm sure some people have issues of how I addressed the Lily/James end, but I think it was appropriate. As Annie M.G. Schmidt said: "Every story has a happy ending, you just need to know when to stop." And I think James and Lily's story ended with them being happy. Voldemort coming to kill them was not their ending, but rather the sad beginning of Harry's story, which ultimately ends happily as well. **

**I hope this story has left you feeling happy and satisfied, and I hope you will look back on it fondly, without too much frustration or anger. Thanks to all of you who kept reading, who left reviews, who followed and favorited! It means so much to me that you've done this and you're all wonderful beings. **

**And if you haven't left any comments thus far, I encourage you to do so! Tell me what you would have done differently, or which parts were **_**meh**_**. Share your love for Sirius Black with me and we can swoon together! **

**I have no plans for any fics after this, since this one was so comprehensive and detailed, I don't think I could do anything this size again without it being completely repetitive and unoriginal. I may do a Harry/Ginny, or future generation one, but only if I had an original idea that I think could sustain a long fic that's not just fluff and corny lines/plot. **

**Thanks again. I'm going to miss writing this one. It was probably the most fun I've had writing a story, and I actually completed it, which is a huge feat for something this large. Thanks to all! Love you!**

**(Sorry for the long AN, but I just wanted to express my love for you all!)**

**Leave one last review and make me the happiest author in the world!**

**-qwertybob**


End file.
